Exposing Financial Abuse: When Money is a Weapon

by Shannon Thomas

Within the pages of Exposing Financial Abuse: When Money is a Weapon, you will be given the opportunity to pull the curtain back and see into the lives of those who have been financially harmed by someone close to them. Being able to take a closer look at this hidden world is a unique gift that cannot be taken lightly or without honor for those who have chosen to allow us to peek into the most personal aspects of their lives.

Test yourself. How would you describe financial abuse? It is quietly happening all around us and is hidden within our neighborhoods and communities. You probably know someone who lives within a financially abusive household and you don’t even know it.

What is financial abuse?

• Has your spouse or parent taken out lines of credit in your name without your consent?

• Does your ex-spouse suddenly stop paying child support as a means of furthering their abuse and control over your life?

• Has your partner moved money from your joint account to a secret individual account without your prior knowledge or consent?

• Do your parents use financial gifts as an open door to demand future compliance on your part?

• Are you blamed for creating financial stress, but are not the one who overspends?

• Did your ex-spouse hide his or her income from being included in the calculations for child and/or spousal support?

• Have your religious leaders said that you must give to the church first, even if that means you cannot provide for your household’s basic needs?

• Do you carry the full burden of making enough money for your household because your partner refuses to maintain steady employment?

Genres: Self Help, Psychology, Finance, Nonfiction, Abuse

175 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2018

Reviews

[Jen Grice · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such an important topic! Financial abuse is so hard to understand and explain. But we must see through the lies and the threats to see the truth, as Shannon shares. Shannon is an excellent author, fantastic social worker, and an awesome speaker. Her training and experience comes through in her books about Hidden Abuse to educate both victims and advocates. The stories in this book will enlighten and educate you!! Thank you to all who shared!

[Charlene Kevin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent resource with examples to share, educate & validate financial abuse. There are examples in there that I would not have ever thought were a form of power and control, until I learned how covert abusers can be. This book validated my initial gut instincts and I am eager to share this resource to help others.

[Jady Moses · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an amazing book! I love the real-life stories that Shannon puts in her books. I could really identify with the stories. I highly recommend this book!
I received an advanced copy of this book. Thanks!!
Jady Moses

[Jam Clock · Rating 5 out of 5]

[ ] Psychological abuse is a huge part of my life. It is something that I have experienced the depths and layers of 1st hand. Beyond personal experience and perspective I am a licensed clinician and have had the opportunity to study about abuse and work with others who are victims and survivors. Finances are a necessary and important part of life that touch every area. Psychological abusers tend to utilize finances as a way to oppress their targets and to control them. Finances are welded like a weapon in ways to do great harm. Everything from fear, theft, loss, hunger, lack of basic needs, medical care and all things oppression are the result of financial abuse. This type of abuse forces its victims to live under crisis and control. There are a plethora of ways in which an abuser may exploit their target.  I received an Advanced Reader copy of the book "Exposing Financial Abuse" by best selling Author Shannon Thomas LCSW. I read it twice. This book is phenomenal. Shannon took the time to survey and to research the topic and has created a resource that includes education about and for financial abuse victims and survivors but has also given an important voice to those who are quoted and also to the hearts of us readers who can relate. Throughout the pages of this excellent resource you will find many real life experiences. This information is invaluable for clinicians to know and to understand. The prevalence of psychological abuse and its diabolical and insidious types of characteristics is high and the need for clinical understanding is imperative. I highly recommend this resource for all laypeople and professionals alike.

[Colleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shannon Thomas has written about a topic that apparently happens much more than one would imagine. If you are familiar with the “Power and Control” wheel, you will note that economic abuse is one of the wedges. This is a good follow-up book for Thomas’ first book: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.

As the title of her second book alludes, weapons can be used as a means of disputing, fighting, or competing. In this book, the reader becomes aware of how many different levels there are of financial abuse…from financial abuse that does not allow for a person’s basic needs to be cared for….to overt threats that let the ‘target’ know who’s in control. Psychological intimidation at its ‘best.’

It’s important to remember that financial abuse does not usually rear its ugly head at the last minute; there are often covert behaviors that take place over time. All in all, if something doesn’t feel right…then it’s not right. Pay attention to your conscience. If one ever feels pressured to make a financial decision without weighing the pros and cons, or asserting a “no”, then this is abuse. And there should never be secrets in a healthy relationship.

Another good point that Thomas makes is to keep an eye on your finances, and have the investment company notify you if there in movement within the account. Financial abuse often goes unchallenged because people outside the immediate circle are ‘charmed’ by the abuser’s public image. Thomas’ book exposes how money can be used is a weapon in an unbalanced, and unhealthy relationship.

Note: An advanced reader, prior to release of book.

[Andy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Boring as hell. The book mostly states obvious facts that don’t need to be explained in an entire book. Yes, if someone is financially dependent on another person, they can be abused, and that’s not groundbreaking.

But if someone is capable of earning their own money and still remains in an abusive situation, that’s a choice. If you don’t take control of your life, someone else will. Simple as that.

I initially thought this book would address complex financial issues that many people genuinely struggle with. Unfortunately, it doesn’t. I don’t understand why it has such a high rating.

For me, financial transparency is nonnegotiable. If you’re not open about money, I won’t waste my time with you. Hiding or lying about finances is a dealbreaker. Period.

[Jessica Stoops · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great stories and examples of what financial abuse. I would recommend to some but if you have an understanding of financial abuse, this will feel repetitive.

[Tammi Mossman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was glad to see another title added to this series about specific forms of abuse. Exposing Financial Abuse contains short chapters packed full of real life examples with perspectives ranging through all socio-economic levels. Shannon's explanations of terms and situations with her invaluable commentary made this a memorable, quick read.

I read an Advance Reader Copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion -- and I will also be purchasing my own hard copy.

[Maureen Johnston · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good advice but no revelations

If you're clueless about financial abuse, this is a good, basic overview. It's not anything you can't find on the internet however, and is therefore disappointing. The author relies too much on her subject's stories, often contributing only a paragraph or two of shallow commentary. I was hoping for depth and specific analysis of the various types of financial abuse. I wanted to learn more about the methods and psychology behind the different types. In my case, for instance, my abuser insisted that I get a job even though he refused to do the majority of the domestic work and child care. We lived according to his career opportunities and work schedule - which he refused to share with me - and under his financial supervision. He never budgeted for holidays, birthdays, vacations, home maintenance, clothing, or even groceries. He blamed me for overspending and getting us into debt. Then he said I was irresponsible for not getting a minimum-wage job. I want to know more about this kind of abuse towards stay at home moms whose husbands discount their contributions and instead see their wives as worthless freeloaders.

[Angie Hardage · Rating 5 out of 5]

IMPORTANT TOPIC, EXCELLENT BOOK, CONVEYED IN THE AUTHOR'S WITTY AND INSIGHTFUL VOICE INTERMINGLED WITH THE VOICES OF SURVIVORS.

A MUST READ FOR ANYONE WHO CARES ABOUT AND/OR WORKS WITH SURVIVORS OF ABUSE. Shannon Thomas' first book (Healing from Hidden Abuse) did a fabulous job exploring the 6 stage process of healing from abusive relationships, and this second book extends that work into the specific area of financial abuse. Exposing Financial Abuse: When Money is a Weapon is an important addition and elaboration to her previous work as the topic of financial abuse is frequently unaddressed in the relational violence literature. This book creates a forum for empowering survivors to share their stories and facilitate healing while at the same time providing a valuable resource to help prevent others from being potentially exploited. Exposing Financial abuse debunks common misconceptions and stereotypes around financial abuse (i.e., financial abuse is ultimately not about money, it is about the abuser's pathological need for power and control, financial abuse primarily happens to uneducated, unsophisticated, or low socioeconomic individuals, and the "misconception that abuse is rooted in insecurity and is an attempt to overcompensate for feelings of inadequacy"). It also provides important terminology to encourage more cultural conversations around the problem, including debt coercion and sexual coercion. The compassionate and no-nonsense tone of the writing may be helpful to anyone who has experienced financial abuse to feel less isolated and begin to release internalized shame and self-blame. Anyone who works with survivors of abusive relationships will learn valuable insights while being encouraged to explore their own biases and stereotypes that may put them at risk of unintentionally re-traumatizing clients and perpetuating internalized shame.

I was provided an advanced reader copy of this book by the author.

[Lily · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book reviews both the insidious and obvious methods financial abusers use to exploit their victims. Using a framework of quotes from real survivors of financial abuse, Shannon Thomas provides practical advice, strategies, and support to readers seeking guidance for how to survive financial manipulation. The best takeaway for me is Thomas addressing a common concern of victims: Is hiding money to escape a financially abusive relationship the same as the abuser hiding assets from me? Thomas implores survivors to look at the intention behind their actions: to survive, stay afloat, and protect themselves and their family. Thomas also explores what must realistically take place to break free and build life up again after financial abuse. I’d recommend this read to anyone who wants to feel less alone in this experience and who wants to learn both the pitfalls and the strategies survivors have used to stop the cycle of financial abuse. In full disclosure, I received an Advanced Reader copy of the book for my honest review.

[Zhenzhen Xiang · Rating 5 out of 5]

Insight and awareness towards healing

I think I always knew that there was something wrong with the way I was treated financially by my Dad and how he controlled the household spending excessively growing up. I always thought there was a disconnect. Bc he was making bunch of money but we were living in a state of poverty. And I couldn’t quite put it into words, but it just feels awful. I’m so glad to have encountered this book. And the examples and survivors’ stories affirmed my suspicion and intuition from my gut. It was Financial Abuse period. Knowledge and acceptance of the abuse actually taking place gives me more peace towards separating from my toxic family. And it’s also inspiring to me at least to know the author is also a survivor of adult child of dysfunctional family systems. I’m slowly and finally chipping away the false guilt and shame put upon me by the abuser and finally walk away.

[Renee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Exposing Financial Abuse provides many real life examples (mostly from women) of financial abuse. Even though I lived with financial abuse in the past, some examples were new to me. We don’t normally think of financial abuse, but it goes on everyday! We need to be aware of financial abuse as it usually will involve other types of abuse, as well. Financial abuse is just another way of someone powering over and controling another! I received an advanced reader copy.

[Sara Barcellona · Rating 5 out of 5]

You’re not alone

Financial abuse can be a special kind of humiliation. The author pulls back the curtain on the insidious behavior of those perpetrating this kind of abuse. A must-read for those in law enforcement, counseling, or other agencies who deal with the ugly side of people. Also great for those who suspect they have dealt with this or are currently dealing with it. There is life after abuse.

[Caitlin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shannon Thomas has a knack for bringing up topics most people avoid. Financial abuse education is vital and is often a catalyst that leads into other forms of abuse. This book was very insightful regarding the spectrum of financial abusers. The low end can be very subtle, covert, and even socially acceptable at times. Not all financial abuse is obvious. Shannon shows how real survivors can protect themselves and rebuild their lives! Phenomenal work!

[Fed · Rating 3 out of 5]

I did like the book. & it did help me write down the abuse that I remembered / recognized.
But I do like to receive the information as raw direct information not throw stories. Besides the fact that most of the mentioned ones are for adults & in marriages. While mine was a childhood abuse from a toxic mother. So some stories did slightly related to my own, but not all.
It’s a good start for me, so I’m satisfied.

[Gabriela · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really liked this book. Shannon does such a great job of explaining how financial abuse looks like in the real world and explaining the mechanisms behind the abuse. The book is a super easy read which makes moving through it quickly a breeze. The real world examples made understanding the abuse and its different forms very clear. I would really recommend this book to anyone wanting to understand financial abuse .

[Robbyn Chapman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shannon Thomas hit another nail on the head with Exposing Financial Abuse:When money is a weapon. Reading the stories of what others went through, validated everything I was put through. The money control was one reason I thought I HAD to stay, he had me believing I could never support myself without him. Thank you Shannon for bringing this "Dirty little secret" out into the light!!!

[Denise Martinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an Advanced Reader Copy of this book, Exposing Financial Abuse: When Money is a Weapon, by Shannon Thomas. Get it, read it, digest it, ponder it, believer it and share what you learn, from the eye-opening and life-changing examples, experiences, facts, statistics and strategies within its' pages.

[Meg · Rating 5 out of 5]

How money is secretly being used to control and harm those around us - Excellent and helpful book by am author who has studied and who understands abuse! I received an Advanced Reader copy of the book.

[Gracewellworn · Rating 3 out of 5]

A collection of oberservations about financial abuse. Quotes throughout.
"It is hard to describe how meaningful it is for survivors when they are encouraged by their faith leaders to protect themselves from an abuser."

[The Reading Countess · Rating 4 out of 5]

Conversational in tone with concrete examples, this is a topic not talked about often. Sadly, the less light that shines in the darkest corners, though, the more we can expect sprouting of unwanted growth. Shedding light on this important topic allows us to take back our power.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent resource. Thorough and varied examples and explanation. Gives a very in depth understanding to a sometimes difficult to explain topic. In line with what I learned from the Domestic Violence hotline.

[Laura Valea · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great Book 📖- in depth . Summarizes he extended of a dealing with narcissistic/ psychopathic abuse . Most of us we had even members from our immediate family sabotaging and helping to complex personality disorder. Easy to read in hours and magical informations about important points 🎖

[Sandra Nomoto · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great entry into financial abuse

Straightforward, honest, and relatable. Even though I have not been a victim of financial abuse, this book explained a lot about the behaviour of people who use use money as a tool for personal gain.

[missyR · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really really good! She is easy to read....good info....compassionate author for a tough subject.

[Autumn Stars · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good book. I experienced this first hand by my father. Everyone needs to read this book.

[Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is really eye opening. Very informative.

[TheDivineReset]

learned abusers focus on meeting their own needs first and foremost. their self interest drives their behavior. everything makes sense from this pov.

[Beth G · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5
While there were many examples in this that represented situations of friends and family, I ultimately didn’t feel that this book was as helpful or enjoyable (if such a topic can be considered enjoyable) as “Healing from Hidden Abuse” so I rounded down.