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End of the Rope: Mountains, Marriage, and Motherhood
In the tradition of Cheryl Strayed's Wild, the gritty, funny, achingly honest story of a young climber's struggle to become whole by testing herself on mountains and life.As a young teenager Jan Redford runs away from a cottage where her father has just put her down for the zillionth time and throws herself against a 100-foot cliff face. Somewhere in that shaky, outraged kid is a bedrock belief in her right to exist, which carries her to the top. In that brief flash of victory, she sets her sights on becoming a climber.Falling in love with climbing eventually leads to falling in love with the climbers in her tight-knit western Canadian climbing community. It also means that the people she loves regularly vanish in an instant, caught in an avalanche or by a split second of inattention. It almost crushes Jan when her boyfriend, the gifted climber Dan Guthrie, is killed. Instead of marrying Dan, she marries one of his best friends, a driven climber who was there for her when she was grieving and becomes the father of her two children. Not what either of them planned.End of the Rope is raw and real. Mountains challenge Jan, marriage almost annihilates her, and motherhood could have been the last straw...but it isn't. How she climbs out of the hole she digs for herself is as thrilling and inspiring as any of her climbs--and just as much an act of bravery.
370 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 3, 2018
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1802 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 76 reviews
March 3, 2018
When I scrunched my body under the big roof, preparing myself to commit to pulling up and over the edge, I looked down at Doc, eighty feet below. It was a long way away. My two blond children danced in front of my eyes for a moment like fairies. Your children will be okay if their mother's okay, Sarah had said in Victoria. Did I want my kids to see their mom bake cookies all day and make lunch for a logger, or climb steep cracks and go to university? Which mother would they believe when she told them, “Follow your dream!” I was up and over the roof and cramming another piece of protection in the crack. With my feet stemming the wall on either side of the corner, hands sunk deep in the crack, I felt like a climber again.
I like memoirs, like learning about how disparate people have put their lives together, and as a metaphor for the struggles of life, mountain climbing is a perfect fit. In End of the Rope, author and climber Jan Redford outlines a gripping life that mirrors her own frustrating “yoyo” style of climbing: two steps up, driven by desire, one step back, succumbing to fear. But just as Redford always finds a way to the top of those literal cliffs and peaks, she digs down deep and eventually forges her own path to the pinnacle of self-fulfillment. I liked Redford's gritty voice, was fascinated by stories from the world of mountain climbing, and was rooting for her to succeed; everything I like in a memoir. (Usual caveat: I read an Advance Reading Copy and quotes may not be in their final forms.)
I'm sucking in little gerbil breaths. Hyperventilating. Fear makes my body instinctively hug the rock, which puts my weight in the wrong place. One foot starts to shake, up and down, up and down like a sewing machine. I grip tighter, and the tighter I grip the more I shake. Dan doesn't say anything. There's nothing to say. He can't swoop in and rescue me. This is my moment. The one I usually try to avoid. The one I came here looking for.
I see that End of the Rope is being marketed as “in the tradition of Cheryl Strayed's Wild”, but to me, they differ in two significant ways: After I read Wild, I mentally flirted with the idea that I could do a months-long hike like that, whereas I know I couldn't face even the easiest rock wall climb that Redford describes; and while Strayed tested and proved herself with this one life-changing event, Redford has spent most of her life going on climbs; she's a rock warrior before anything else. And it's Redford's community of climbers that I found most fascinating: those people who work a few months in order to qualify for unemployment insurance and live out of tents for the rest of the year, travelling in rusted out beaters to North America's most fabled peaks; this “incestuous” community that eventually sees most people hooking up with each other at some point; these rock warriors who are itching to get back on the mountains, even as friend after friend of theirs fall to their deaths or disappear in avalanches. This level of drive and commitment to doing the impossible – forcing yourself to the limits of physical and mental exertion when the only payoff is personal satisfaction, under the constant threat of death – is so foreign to me that the details of this book had me constantly enthralled.
Fake it till you make it; how you live your life is how you climb; if the head she fits, the body he will follow; she didn't die doing what she loved, she lived doing what she loved.
As to Redford's personal journey: as the child of a frequently violent alcoholic father and a distant and enabling mother, Redford recognises herself as a Codependent-type personality; and despite years of self-help books, dream journals, and visualisation boards, she is as hesitant to demand what she wants in her personal life as she can be hesitant to take the lead on a climb. It's hard to reconcile the strength of mind and will that it takes for her to swing herself up and over rocky barriers to the portrait of a woman reduced to frequent bouts of sobbing and succumbing to the demands of the men in her life, but it all makes for fascinating reading; this is a the story of a big life, well told.
April 30, 2018
I received a copy of this book from PenguinRandomHouse Canada for an honest review. I’m attracted to memoirs like this and since it was written by a fellow Canadian and a lot of it takes place near where I live I was even more intrigued. I have a hiker and kayaker in my family so knew of many of the locations mentioned. I am also a camper so have been to a lot of the places talked about as well as I’m very familiar with the towns and cities. What I really have no knowledge of is climbing. In my travels in the Rockies and Joshua Tree I have watched climbers with fascination. I have spent time just sitting and marvelling at them. Jan tells her story from her dysfunctional childhood to how she became part of the climbing community. She references people such as Sharon Wood who is well known as the first North American woman to climb Everest. The book details Jan’s climbing and her personal life. I have to say I found her story very compelling although I questioned some of her personal choices. She details how her confidence in her climbing skills fluctuated at certain times in her life and how that influenced some of her decisions. Her personal life had ups and downs and had a lot of sorrow. Many of her climbing buddies have died in their pursuits. Her boyfriend Dan tragically died climbing and it was heartbreaking reading about this. Dan had been such a powerful influence and a loving positive person in her life. My heart broke along with her. She then went on to have a tumultuous relationship and marriage with another climber who was the father of her two children. Throughout all this Jan was still trying to find herself. It was so wonderful to see Jan become empowered and go on to pursue her goals and dreams in defiance of her controlling husband. This book is both an adventure story of Jan’s climbing and also a personal story of her relationships, her life as a mother, and as a confident woman. The one problem I had with the book is it felt rushed at the end. Her story jumps from her early thirties to fifties with little information as to what she did in those years. I would have liked to hear more about her starting her career as a teacher and then about her going back to further her education and a few more details leading up to her fifties. Overall this book completely captivated me and I couldn’t stop reading it. It’s one those books that you feel sad when it ends and that’s a sign of a good book!
February 15, 2018
"Sometimes I felt like the only cure for whatever I had was to live in a cabin in the bush, alone with myself, where no one could influence my decisions, my lifestyle, what I ate, said, did, or felt. I was a chameleon; if I sat down beside a blue person I’d turn blue, beside a green person I’d turn green. I didn’t have my own colour. The only thing that had seemed like my own was climbing."
I wasn't sure what to expect with this one and I definitely didn't think I'd end up enjoying it as much as I did considering that I'm not at all the outdoorsy type. And yet, even though climbing is a big focus of Redford's memoir, she considers so many universal themes (love in all of its manifestations, grief, marriage, motherhood, self-discovery, etc.) that I ended up being fully engrossed in her story and really cheering her on, especially towards the end when she describes her pursuit of higher education.
We're definitely conditioned to think that life should follow a certain progression and it was enjoyable to read about someone who forged their own path. I particularly enjoyed the honesty with which Redford addresses her fears and concerns about failure, a recurring theme to which most people can relate.
Thank you to Random House Canada for sending along a review copy in exchange for an honest review
I wasn't sure what to expect with this one and I definitely didn't think I'd end up enjoying it as much as I did considering that I'm not at all the outdoorsy type. And yet, even though climbing is a big focus of Redford's memoir, she considers so many universal themes (love in all of its manifestations, grief, marriage, motherhood, self-discovery, etc.) that I ended up being fully engrossed in her story and really cheering her on, especially towards the end when she describes her pursuit of higher education.
We're definitely conditioned to think that life should follow a certain progression and it was enjoyable to read about someone who forged their own path. I particularly enjoyed the honesty with which Redford addresses her fears and concerns about failure, a recurring theme to which most people can relate.
Thank you to Random House Canada for sending along a review copy in exchange for an honest review
June 15, 2018
Thank you so much Counterpoint Press for providing my free copy of END OF THE ROPE by Jan Redford - all opinions are my own.
After reading books such as Wild and Into Thin Air, I’ve been looking for a new adventure to embark on and this book exceeded my expectations in every way. This is a deeply personal, moving memoir that I wholeheartedly recommend. Set in Canada, Redford is a woman mountaineer, who writes some very compelling climbing stories, but with a backdrop of the struggles she went through throughout her life.
Redford suffered through a dysfunctional childhood with an alcoholic father and an overworked mother. She went through tumultuous relationships including a failed marriage, but she always would “blow off steam” when mountain climbing. She pursued relationships in this climbing world and went through so much grief and loss because of it. There is page after page of tragedy and near misses, which makes this a very gripping book. My heart ached for her in some situations, and while I may not agree with every choice she made, I admire her greatly.
Ultimately, END OF THE ROPE is about motherhood, love, loss, identity, and above all, climbing. Redford is honest, poignant, witty, and flawed. I was completely engrossed in her story and will be thinking about it for a long time to come.
After reading books such as Wild and Into Thin Air, I’ve been looking for a new adventure to embark on and this book exceeded my expectations in every way. This is a deeply personal, moving memoir that I wholeheartedly recommend. Set in Canada, Redford is a woman mountaineer, who writes some very compelling climbing stories, but with a backdrop of the struggles she went through throughout her life.
Redford suffered through a dysfunctional childhood with an alcoholic father and an overworked mother. She went through tumultuous relationships including a failed marriage, but she always would “blow off steam” when mountain climbing. She pursued relationships in this climbing world and went through so much grief and loss because of it. There is page after page of tragedy and near misses, which makes this a very gripping book. My heart ached for her in some situations, and while I may not agree with every choice she made, I admire her greatly.
Ultimately, END OF THE ROPE is about motherhood, love, loss, identity, and above all, climbing. Redford is honest, poignant, witty, and flawed. I was completely engrossed in her story and will be thinking about it for a long time to come.
September 16, 2019
This was very good.
As a perpetual worrier but do-it-anyway-even-if-you-poop-your-pants-er, I related to Jan. Her writing is also well done, I found myself wanting to continue reading and wanted her desperately to have a good ending.
I just wish the epilogue wasn't so abrupt! We found out where Jan was, however it also fast forwarded like two decades. I just wanted more. That's a personal qualm though, so I guess not a biggie
As a perpetual worrier but do-it-anyway-even-if-you-poop-your-pants-er, I related to Jan. Her writing is also well done, I found myself wanting to continue reading and wanted her desperately to have a good ending.
I just wish the epilogue wasn't so abrupt! We found out where Jan was, however it also fast forwarded like two decades. I just wanted more. That's a personal qualm though, so I guess not a biggie
January 27, 2019
My brother had far too much influence on our two daughters when it comes to outdoor leisure (aka death-defying) activities. Hence, they both love to travel to places that are off the beaten path, ski out of bounds and rock climb. All things that keep a mother up at night. To add to my night terrors, he sent me Jan Redford's book, End of the Rope, for my birthday. Jan is a friend of his, whom I have met. This gave me faint hope reading her book; (spoiler alert) at least I know she lived through all of these adventures!
Jan's book traces the timeline of her life following various boyfriends into challenging situations - climbing El Capitan in Yosemite National Park, white-water kayaking down log-jammed rivers in B.C., patching up her husband after a serious logging incident. Yes, there are deaths. This is not a spoiler; one just has to read the news to know that man-vs-avalanche never ends well for man.
How did my brother think I was going to receive this harrowing tale? Actually to the average reader, or the experienced climber/hiker/back-country skier, it's probably not that scary a story. But it did bring the dangers of what my daughters do for entertainment (!) closer to home. I'm not going to lie - I lost some sleep over the more anxious parts. But I have a much deeper appreciation for what bad-asses my daughters are!
Jan's book traces the timeline of her life following various boyfriends into challenging situations - climbing El Capitan in Yosemite National Park, white-water kayaking down log-jammed rivers in B.C., patching up her husband after a serious logging incident. Yes, there are deaths. This is not a spoiler; one just has to read the news to know that man-vs-avalanche never ends well for man.
How did my brother think I was going to receive this harrowing tale? Actually to the average reader, or the experienced climber/hiker/back-country skier, it's probably not that scary a story. But it did bring the dangers of what my daughters do for entertainment (!) closer to home. I'm not going to lie - I lost some sleep over the more anxious parts. But I have a much deeper appreciation for what bad-asses my daughters are!
Read
August 8, 2024Read it for work, but I ended up enjoying it! I pretty much never gravitate towards memoir, but the outdoor recreation angle was a good dovetail to my interests.
Honestly, I wish it had been less about the men in her life and more about the women—I was expecting more after the line in the description that promised a “laughter-filled memoir of friendships with women in that masculine world.” Cool women doing cool things in a masculine world definitely came up, but they were overshadowed by the presence of men in her life. Oh well.
Honestly, I wish it had been less about the men in her life and more about the women—I was expecting more after the line in the description that promised a “laughter-filled memoir of friendships with women in that masculine world.” Cool women doing cool things in a masculine world definitely came up, but they were overshadowed by the presence of men in her life. Oh well.
February 6, 2024
An incredible story about a woman in all forms. A daughter, a sister, a climber, a mother and a student. Jan's story of persevering on the rock and in her life was gut wrenching and emotionally vivid. Her constant battles with herself made her human and her story so compelling, you felt as if she was speaking to you first hand. Very rarely does a book make me emotional, but I couldn't put it down. As a climber myself, it is very humanizing to see someone struggle to become better, whatever that means to that person.
November 10, 2020
Adrenalin rush, gut-wrenching fear, euphoria, and unbeatable scenery are part and parcel of the climbing experience. So are long absences from family and, on occasion, death. Jan Redford experienced it all, from her early days scaling cliffs through a tumultuous marriage and motherhood, and into her fifties.
Her memoir is a series of stories that jump from one significant life experience to another, often without transitions. The effect is a choppy but readable account of a woman who overcomes sidetracks and setbacks to stay in a world that both terrifies and elates her. Though light on self-reflection, it is an adventure tale worth the read.
Her memoir is a series of stories that jump from one significant life experience to another, often without transitions. The effect is a choppy but readable account of a woman who overcomes sidetracks and setbacks to stay in a world that both terrifies and elates her. Though light on self-reflection, it is an adventure tale worth the read.
June 6, 2019
End of the Rope is a gripping memoir that takes us through Jan's myelin hardening as she makes the difficult choices on her journey to responsible adulthood. Much of the climbing terminology was beyond me but it provided a good skeleton upon which to tell her story.
May 24, 2020
Upon initial perusal of END OF THE ROPE, potential readers may think the same as I originally thought: with a subtitle like Mountains, Marriage, and Motherhood, I expected this to be one of those annoying books about a woman whose life is perfect; one who has it all, and who is now going to "teach" readers how they too can have it all and become the perfect "Super-Mom." YUCK!!! (Plus, I call Bullshit on those people - I think they are full of crap.)
On the surface, potential readers might think that if END OF THE ROPE isn't about being a "Super Mom" then it must be about mountain climbing, and only mountain climbing. Wrong again, this is definitely not the case.
Yes. It does contain quite a few mountain and mountain climbing stories, as well as some of the multitude of accomplishments of the author - female Canadian climber, Jan Redford.
This surprising and engaging memoir is so much more than just a story of mountain climbing, and so much more interesting.
Jan Redford tells the story of her life so far; a life that has been anything but normal, and anything but easy.
Jan Redford learned to climb after high school, in Wyoming at the National Outdoor Leadership School (NOLS). She writes about her time at NOLS at the age of eighteen that: “I felt like I’d been sleepwalking through my life, and climbing propped open my eyes. Made me fully alive.” She knew from then on that Climbing would be a large part of her existence for the rest of her life.
While Jan Redford's life did revolve for many years around her climbing and the climbing "lifestyle," Jan is much more than just a climber.
In reality, this is a memoir about growing up in a highly dysfunctional family - one that presented the image of perfection to those around them. That outer, superficial image of the perfect family was a sham. Jan's father was an alcoholic and her mother, although physically present, was emotionally absent. The entire family lived in an atmosphere which required everyone to 'walk on eggshells' lest they pull the pin on the ticking time bomb that was the family patriarch. Who could blame Jan for wanting to run away as far, and as fast as possible?
Climbing was the escape that offered Jan not only a way out, but also a way forward. The West Coast of Canada offers amazingly scenic mountain ranges and a large, insular community of like-minded individuals. It was in this climbing community Jan found her home and her people.
Tales of the antics of her youthful indescretions will have the reader fondly remembering their own youthful capers.
END OF THE ROPE is a story of running away and finding yourself. Falling in lust. Challenging yourself. Finding your soulmate and losing him to the mountains you both lived.
It is a tale of being hurt down to the core of your soul, digging deep and doing what is right for you; no matter what other people think or say.
As it states in the subtitle, this book is about Mountains, Motherhood and Marriage. Each of these three M's will bring Jan joy and happiness as well as unspeakable pain and sorrow.
END OF THE ROPE is a memoir not to be missed.
Any book that can cause me to laugh out loud, snort in disbelief and/or exasperation, as well as have me in tears is a book that I will not soon forget. END OF THE ROPE did all of these things to me, and more. Because of this, I would be doing a disservice to potential readers to rate this book as anything lower than 5 OUT OF 5 STARS. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Jan Redford may be an awesome mountain climber, but she is an even better writer.
In August 2020, the Paperback version of this book is being released. It can be pre-ordered now at your favorite bookstore.
I would love to hear back from any of you that go on to read END OF THE ROPE. After you finish reading it, come back here to let me know what you thought.
*** Thank you to the Publisher for providing me with a free copy of this book. ***
** To read more of my reviews, to see pictures of the author, to read an excerpt from this book, check out my blog at http://Amiesbookreviews.wordpress.com
And be sure to also follow me on Social media where I sometimes offer chances to win books. ** I might just be offering a chance to win books sometime over the next few weeks.**
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http://www.instagram.com/Amiesbookrev...
TWITTER
http://www.twitter.com/Amiesbookreview
On the surface, potential readers might think that if END OF THE ROPE isn't about being a "Super Mom" then it must be about mountain climbing, and only mountain climbing. Wrong again, this is definitely not the case.
Yes. It does contain quite a few mountain and mountain climbing stories, as well as some of the multitude of accomplishments of the author - female Canadian climber, Jan Redford.
This surprising and engaging memoir is so much more than just a story of mountain climbing, and so much more interesting.
Jan Redford tells the story of her life so far; a life that has been anything but normal, and anything but easy.
Jan Redford learned to climb after high school, in Wyoming at the National Outdoor Leadership School (NOLS). She writes about her time at NOLS at the age of eighteen that: “I felt like I’d been sleepwalking through my life, and climbing propped open my eyes. Made me fully alive.” She knew from then on that Climbing would be a large part of her existence for the rest of her life.
While Jan Redford's life did revolve for many years around her climbing and the climbing "lifestyle," Jan is much more than just a climber.
In reality, this is a memoir about growing up in a highly dysfunctional family - one that presented the image of perfection to those around them. That outer, superficial image of the perfect family was a sham. Jan's father was an alcoholic and her mother, although physically present, was emotionally absent. The entire family lived in an atmosphere which required everyone to 'walk on eggshells' lest they pull the pin on the ticking time bomb that was the family patriarch. Who could blame Jan for wanting to run away as far, and as fast as possible?
Climbing was the escape that offered Jan not only a way out, but also a way forward. The West Coast of Canada offers amazingly scenic mountain ranges and a large, insular community of like-minded individuals. It was in this climbing community Jan found her home and her people.
Tales of the antics of her youthful indescretions will have the reader fondly remembering their own youthful capers.
END OF THE ROPE is a story of running away and finding yourself. Falling in lust. Challenging yourself. Finding your soulmate and losing him to the mountains you both lived.
It is a tale of being hurt down to the core of your soul, digging deep and doing what is right for you; no matter what other people think or say.
As it states in the subtitle, this book is about Mountains, Motherhood and Marriage. Each of these three M's will bring Jan joy and happiness as well as unspeakable pain and sorrow.
END OF THE ROPE is a memoir not to be missed.
Any book that can cause me to laugh out loud, snort in disbelief and/or exasperation, as well as have me in tears is a book that I will not soon forget. END OF THE ROPE did all of these things to me, and more. Because of this, I would be doing a disservice to potential readers to rate this book as anything lower than 5 OUT OF 5 STARS. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Jan Redford may be an awesome mountain climber, but she is an even better writer.
In August 2020, the Paperback version of this book is being released. It can be pre-ordered now at your favorite bookstore.
I would love to hear back from any of you that go on to read END OF THE ROPE. After you finish reading it, come back here to let me know what you thought.
*** Thank you to the Publisher for providing me with a free copy of this book. ***
** To read more of my reviews, to see pictures of the author, to read an excerpt from this book, check out my blog at http://Amiesbookreviews.wordpress.com
And be sure to also follow me on Social media where I sometimes offer chances to win books. ** I might just be offering a chance to win books sometime over the next few weeks.**
http://www.instagram.com/Amiesbookrev...
http://www.twitter.com/Amiesbookreview
May 15, 2018
A fresh, funny, engaging and relatable story that dares to hold the risks and challenges of mountaineering up against the risks and challenges of being a feminist while hopelessly romantic, or a mother while hungry for more than motherhood alone offers. This is a fantastically confident debut—I can’t wait for Jan Redford’s next book.
May 15, 2018
Bravery takes practice.
December 6, 2021
The write-up for this book starts with, “In the tradition of Cheryl Strayed’s Wild comes this funny and gritty debut memoir in which Jan Redford grows from a nomadic rock climber to a mother who fights to win back her future.” This book is NOTHING like Strayed’s Wild, so if you are not a fan of that book like me, you are in luck.
Redford is a talented and experienced outdoor climber, where Strayed knew nothing about the outdoors before heading out on the Pacific Crest Trail to find herself. Redford and Strayed have completely separate upbringings, education, career and personal goals. I could go on and on. Treat this book as a different memoir altogether.
I enjoyed this book, but I wouldn’t recommend it unless you are a rock climber, alpinist or have lived a dirt-bag life. If you are not interested in these sports, I highly recommend passing on this book.
The book heavily covers climbing-culture references and Canadian logging towns, where the book is set. However, this myopic viewpoint felt dull since I couldn’t relate to life in these places.
This book is filled with outdoor adventure and a solid personal side. Redford’s story is remarkable and heartbreaking, and she sets up the most exciting climactic moments well. However, I believe the book dragged on a bit and fast-forwarded way too quickly towards the end. I don’t regret reading this book, but I believe it only appeals to a limited audience.
Redford is a talented and experienced outdoor climber, where Strayed knew nothing about the outdoors before heading out on the Pacific Crest Trail to find herself. Redford and Strayed have completely separate upbringings, education, career and personal goals. I could go on and on. Treat this book as a different memoir altogether.
I enjoyed this book, but I wouldn’t recommend it unless you are a rock climber, alpinist or have lived a dirt-bag life. If you are not interested in these sports, I highly recommend passing on this book.
The book heavily covers climbing-culture references and Canadian logging towns, where the book is set. However, this myopic viewpoint felt dull since I couldn’t relate to life in these places.
This book is filled with outdoor adventure and a solid personal side. Redford’s story is remarkable and heartbreaking, and she sets up the most exciting climactic moments well. However, I believe the book dragged on a bit and fast-forwarded way too quickly towards the end. I don’t regret reading this book, but I believe it only appeals to a limited audience.
December 23, 2018
*Please note, I won this book via Goodreads Giveaways*
This was quite the story. It details Jan's life, highlighting her semi unstable childhood, growing up with a father who drinks too much, and a mother who followed him from place to place, because she didn't have another option. Unfortunately for Jan, she falls into the same cycle, after going through a bit of a wild phase.
Climbing is the highlight of the book. It's not something I've ever read much about, so those were probably the parts of this I enjoyed most. I've rock climbed up a wall in a gym a time or too, and enjoyed it, but I don't think I'd ever climb an actual mountain.
Though I understood Jan's hesitance about some aspects of climbing, I felt frustrated for her at times. She was powerful and kick ass when she climbed on her own, or with other women, or men who weren't her significant other, but when she climbed with men she was sleeping with, she turned soft, and let them do all the leading and deciding. And not just in climbing either, but in life.
Her deepest relationship was likely with Dan, a boyfriend of hers who got killed in an avalanche.
She was devastated by his death, and goes to his friend Grant for support. He's an emotionally abusive, manipulative person, who makes promises he can't, and simply won't keep, and holds her back. He promises her multiple times that after this or that accomplishment of his, she'll be able to go to university.
Jan is very unhappy with him, and there are times that she tries to assert her independence, like when he wants to take inheritance money and buy a trailer. She doesn't want that, so while he's out of the country on a climb, she buys a townhouse all by herself. It's these moments of willpower and defiance that make me wonder why she bothered to stay with him so long.
But, I know why. Sometimes, a crappy situation that you know is better than the unknown.
Luckily for Jan, her situation eventually works out to where she is in a happier place with more of an equal footing in a relationship. She gets a second chance of sorts, which I won't spoil.
This book is a solid read.
This was quite the story. It details Jan's life, highlighting her semi unstable childhood, growing up with a father who drinks too much, and a mother who followed him from place to place, because she didn't have another option. Unfortunately for Jan, she falls into the same cycle, after going through a bit of a wild phase.
Climbing is the highlight of the book. It's not something I've ever read much about, so those were probably the parts of this I enjoyed most. I've rock climbed up a wall in a gym a time or too, and enjoyed it, but I don't think I'd ever climb an actual mountain.
Though I understood Jan's hesitance about some aspects of climbing, I felt frustrated for her at times. She was powerful and kick ass when she climbed on her own, or with other women, or men who weren't her significant other, but when she climbed with men she was sleeping with, she turned soft, and let them do all the leading and deciding. And not just in climbing either, but in life.
Her deepest relationship was likely with Dan, a boyfriend of hers who got killed in an avalanche.
She was devastated by his death, and goes to his friend Grant for support. He's an emotionally abusive, manipulative person, who makes promises he can't, and simply won't keep, and holds her back. He promises her multiple times that after this or that accomplishment of his, she'll be able to go to university.
Jan is very unhappy with him, and there are times that she tries to assert her independence, like when he wants to take inheritance money and buy a trailer. She doesn't want that, so while he's out of the country on a climb, she buys a townhouse all by herself. It's these moments of willpower and defiance that make me wonder why she bothered to stay with him so long.
But, I know why. Sometimes, a crappy situation that you know is better than the unknown.
Luckily for Jan, her situation eventually works out to where she is in a happier place with more of an equal footing in a relationship. She gets a second chance of sorts, which I won't spoil.
This book is a solid read.
November 16, 2022
this book pissed me OFF. and sucked the joy out of my soul. and angered me almost more than anything I’ve ever read.
This book is about this wimpy woman’s inability to take control of her life…or exit a shitty marriage…or make decisions for herself…or stand up for herself. 20% rock climbing, 80% groaning about her disgusting husband. I wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake her, yell at her to wake UP. I understand being stuck in an abusive marriage, but he wasn’t abusive. He was just an a-hole. Everyone knows children can tie you into shitty marriages, how could she be so ignorant & dumb to think having a baby with her evil husband would “save” the marriage. I’m not sure why people call her inspirational, and I’m not sure why people thing she’s strong or cool. She seems fearful and weak to me. 0 stars if I could.
I was hoping for a cool story about a badass female alpinist but I just wasted hours of my life reading about shitty men & the naive women who pick them.
This book is about this wimpy woman’s inability to take control of her life…or exit a shitty marriage…or make decisions for herself…or stand up for herself. 20% rock climbing, 80% groaning about her disgusting husband. I wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake her, yell at her to wake UP. I understand being stuck in an abusive marriage, but he wasn’t abusive. He was just an a-hole. Everyone knows children can tie you into shitty marriages, how could she be so ignorant & dumb to think having a baby with her evil husband would “save” the marriage. I’m not sure why people call her inspirational, and I’m not sure why people thing she’s strong or cool. She seems fearful and weak to me. 0 stars if I could.
I was hoping for a cool story about a badass female alpinist but I just wasted hours of my life reading about shitty men & the naive women who pick them.
May 30, 2018
Found this book at my local library while trying to find memoirs of motherhood. I'm not a rock climber, so maybe that influenced my experience of the book, but I found it to be really lacklustre. The writing isn't at all poetic or insightful (I got excited when I saw the Annie Dillard quote at the beginning, but there was nothing reflective of her writing in the book), and could have been much more reflective, given the writer's life experience. The long descriptions of climbs and expeditions didn't do anything for me, and frankly, the tone came across as a bit whiney at times. It is a position of privilege to not have to work in order to pursue something like full time climbing/ice climbing/outdoorsing and the community she describes seems to eschew a lot of other responsibilities for that singular pursuit. I got half way through and skimmed, then put it down. Would not recommend-there are better ways to spend your reading time.
November 1, 2024
As a climber and mountaineer, I was excited for this book - but ultimately finished it very disappointed. The first ~1/2 of it chronicles Jan's journey thorough a series of terrible relationships, and shows time and time again that validation from mediocre men is the driving force behind most of the decisions she makes. Even when writing about climbing, she still relates it back to men - talking about how she was happy that they saw her perform well on the climb, or feeling guilty about not being as strong of a leading partner as whatever man she was seeing at the time. The only parts I really enjoyed were her descriptions of climbing with other women, and her writing about how strong and capable she felt during those times - but those are few and far between compared to chapters about her dating woes.
She also doesn't seem to take any accountability for her decisions. At one point she laments that her friend has taken steps toward becoming a climbing guide, and expresses her jealousy that she has not really progressed at all - but while her friend was taking courses, gaining experience, and making progress toward a goal, Jan was just chasing after a man who repeatedly told her that he was non-monogamous, and then wallowing in self-pity when he eventually had relationships with other women.
Even her views of climbing rubbed me the wrong way - she talks at length about how "real" climbers are found on the sharp end of the rope, and if you don't lead something then you basically didn't climb it at all. This is not a philosophy shared among the climbing community that I am part of; instead, we encourage each other and cheer each other on, whether that's leading or following. Jan seems to have these ideas of what it takes to be "real", and never really discusses where those requirements come from; instead she moans and whines whenever she gets in her head about leading and isn't performing as well as she thinks she should.
She takes her frustrating views to the extreme when she makes objectively terrible decisions - like ice climbing up a glacier, roped up with a partner, with zero protection. She talks about how excited she is to come home tell her boyfriend that she didn't need to put in any ice screws, and then is upset when he scolds her and tells her how she could have died if anything had gone wrong. She admits multiple times that any fall would have killed both of them, but then is frustrated when her boyfriend doesn't praise her for taking this risk. Any mountaineer could tell you that staying roped together on terrain too steep to self-arrest is a death wish if you're not putting in protection, and yet Jan, with her years of experience, still takes this risk just to show off to the men in her life.
Though I found a lot more compassion for Jan in the second half of the book as she is stuck in an emotionally abusive marriage, without the education or financial stability to free herself, at this point it was too late to salvage the book for me. I thought this section dragged - how many times can we read in detail about the same monotonous fights - and though I was rooting for Jan to find her way out and finally go to college, to find a career and community that she wanted, it came after too much of a depressed slog through pages and pages of bad marriage that I was more relieved to be done with the book than I was about Jan's happy ending.
The one saving grace is the writing - there is a note at the beginning about how she tried to stay true to her journals, and I found the writing to be compelling, relatable, and realistic as you hear her story from 14-year-old to mid-30s mother. However, that's not enough for me to recommend this book to anyone, especially not someone with knowledge of climbing or mountaineering - it'll just piss you off.
She also doesn't seem to take any accountability for her decisions. At one point she laments that her friend has taken steps toward becoming a climbing guide, and expresses her jealousy that she has not really progressed at all - but while her friend was taking courses, gaining experience, and making progress toward a goal, Jan was just chasing after a man who repeatedly told her that he was non-monogamous, and then wallowing in self-pity when he eventually had relationships with other women.
Even her views of climbing rubbed me the wrong way - she talks at length about how "real" climbers are found on the sharp end of the rope, and if you don't lead something then you basically didn't climb it at all. This is not a philosophy shared among the climbing community that I am part of; instead, we encourage each other and cheer each other on, whether that's leading or following. Jan seems to have these ideas of what it takes to be "real", and never really discusses where those requirements come from; instead she moans and whines whenever she gets in her head about leading and isn't performing as well as she thinks she should.
She takes her frustrating views to the extreme when she makes objectively terrible decisions - like ice climbing up a glacier, roped up with a partner, with zero protection. She talks about how excited she is to come home tell her boyfriend that she didn't need to put in any ice screws, and then is upset when he scolds her and tells her how she could have died if anything had gone wrong. She admits multiple times that any fall would have killed both of them, but then is frustrated when her boyfriend doesn't praise her for taking this risk. Any mountaineer could tell you that staying roped together on terrain too steep to self-arrest is a death wish if you're not putting in protection, and yet Jan, with her years of experience, still takes this risk just to show off to the men in her life.
Though I found a lot more compassion for Jan in the second half of the book as she is stuck in an emotionally abusive marriage, without the education or financial stability to free herself, at this point it was too late to salvage the book for me. I thought this section dragged - how many times can we read in detail about the same monotonous fights - and though I was rooting for Jan to find her way out and finally go to college, to find a career and community that she wanted, it came after too much of a depressed slog through pages and pages of bad marriage that I was more relieved to be done with the book than I was about Jan's happy ending.
The one saving grace is the writing - there is a note at the beginning about how she tried to stay true to her journals, and I found the writing to be compelling, relatable, and realistic as you hear her story from 14-year-old to mid-30s mother. However, that's not enough for me to recommend this book to anyone, especially not someone with knowledge of climbing or mountaineering - it'll just piss you off.
March 22, 2020
What a joy to immerse myself in Redford's story. It's an intimate portrait of a woman's journey to lead rather than follow, to forgive herself for not being perfect, to reach for real intimacy, to actively chase her dreams, to recognize the choices she makes and how those choices add up to a life. The author doesn't flinch away from revealing her own contradictions, needs, desires, frustrations, and struggles to find confidence or to shut down her fears so she can reach for the next hold on the mountainside. She lets us in, entirely human. Meanwhile, she seamlessly braids the stories of climbing real mountains with the stories of climbing symbolic ones, and we can't help but root for her to get to the top every time.
This is the 3rd memoir I've read in the past year and I'm fascinated by the similarities. Whether the woman at the center is climbing mountains, writing books, or changing the way world views performance art, these women follow parallel journeys of also seeking love, companionship, confidence, security, connection, and some reflection of the care they give to others. There's a sense of willing sacrifice in them, an ability to be second, to support, to let another's needs or ambitions supersede one's own. They also depict the toll that takes when the patterns are prolonged. They show how important a thank you is. Or an I love you. They illustrate the complicated nature of women's lives. We want for ourselves, but we want for others, too. We give to the people we love, but we crave some reflection of that. There's a profound sense of interconnectivity. Our successes are most significant when they're shared, whether that's with a partner, a family, a community, or an entire world of onlookers. Our struggles are also shared. If I ever doubted that, Redford's novel reminds me how true it really is.
The title is apt. All three journeys try the heroine. This book is proof that she reached the top.
This is the 3rd memoir I've read in the past year and I'm fascinated by the similarities. Whether the woman at the center is climbing mountains, writing books, or changing the way world views performance art, these women follow parallel journeys of also seeking love, companionship, confidence, security, connection, and some reflection of the care they give to others. There's a sense of willing sacrifice in them, an ability to be second, to support, to let another's needs or ambitions supersede one's own. They also depict the toll that takes when the patterns are prolonged. They show how important a thank you is. Or an I love you. They illustrate the complicated nature of women's lives. We want for ourselves, but we want for others, too. We give to the people we love, but we crave some reflection of that. There's a profound sense of interconnectivity. Our successes are most significant when they're shared, whether that's with a partner, a family, a community, or an entire world of onlookers. Our struggles are also shared. If I ever doubted that, Redford's novel reminds me how true it really is.
The title is apt. All three journeys try the heroine. This book is proof that she reached the top.
February 10, 2021
End of the Rope Mountains, Marriage, and Motherhood by Jan Redford was a very engaging read. I found myself pulled into the story from the beginning with its highs and lows--literally and emotionally.
This was obviously a very personal story where the author has laid out her struggles, in a very raw form, for all to see. I think many of us reading it can relate to some of her struggles and recognize ourselves and friends in family in hers. What I found hard to read was about all the tragedy and loss that accompanies this sport she is so drawn to.
Jan Redford is a very brave woman on many fronts. This is a great read for anyone struggling with personal issues or someone looking for a strong story about a strong person as the parallels between her life and the climbing she is drawn to are evident in her words.
I feel compelled to give this a 4 verses a 5 star rating only due to what felt like a very long segment of her early motherhood/domestic woes that felt like they droned on a bit too long. I realize this is part of her story, but as a reader, I was getting impatient.
I received an ARC through NetGalley. All opinions are 100% my own.
This was obviously a very personal story where the author has laid out her struggles, in a very raw form, for all to see. I think many of us reading it can relate to some of her struggles and recognize ourselves and friends in family in hers. What I found hard to read was about all the tragedy and loss that accompanies this sport she is so drawn to.
Jan Redford is a very brave woman on many fronts. This is a great read for anyone struggling with personal issues or someone looking for a strong story about a strong person as the parallels between her life and the climbing she is drawn to are evident in her words.
I feel compelled to give this a 4 verses a 5 star rating only due to what felt like a very long segment of her early motherhood/domestic woes that felt like they droned on a bit too long. I realize this is part of her story, but as a reader, I was getting impatient.
I received an ARC through NetGalley. All opinions are 100% my own.
March 31, 2018
Jan has loved mountain climbing ever since she tried it for the first time. It was a way to escape her difficult home life. She realized she was good at this and got even better from climbing with others in the climbing community.
When her boyfriend Dan is killed in an avalanche, she is devastated. Dan’s climbing partner Grant offers support and she marries him. She is busy raising her young family and almost abandons climbing. Grant is away from home a lot working as a logger and is unable to help with the children.
He is emotionally abusive and offers little support when Jan plans to attend university. Luckily, her mother and sister are in regular contact with Jan, so they are able to offer support and serve as a sounding board.
After years of struggling and remaining in the relationship, Jan is able to turn her life around.
Thankyou GoodReads for the book.
When her boyfriend Dan is killed in an avalanche, she is devastated. Dan’s climbing partner Grant offers support and she marries him. She is busy raising her young family and almost abandons climbing. Grant is away from home a lot working as a logger and is unable to help with the children.
He is emotionally abusive and offers little support when Jan plans to attend university. Luckily, her mother and sister are in regular contact with Jan, so they are able to offer support and serve as a sounding board.
After years of struggling and remaining in the relationship, Jan is able to turn her life around.
Thankyou GoodReads for the book.
August 10, 2018
A fast and enjoyable read. The author succeeded in making me feel how she felt, particularly in the middle of the book when something shocking happens. Just as she couldn't believe it had happened, neither could I! To me, this shows excellent writing.
The end of the book was more difficult in that I found it harder to empathize with her experience just because my life is very different than hers. But I didn't judge her so much as find it hard to read. Notably when you read the very end, you see that she actually condensed the last difficult section considerably. So in that sense, she shortened the slog in her real life for us. It must have been very very hard living through what she lived through.
If you like stories of adventure, like Into Thin Air or Wild, then you will like this book. Enjoyed learning more about rock climbing and other outdoor sports from the comfort of my bed (and sometimes, my kayak -- but not a kayak like hers! You couldn't read in a boat the way she was paddling it. This lady is adventurous!)
The end of the book was more difficult in that I found it harder to empathize with her experience just because my life is very different than hers. But I didn't judge her so much as find it hard to read. Notably when you read the very end, you see that she actually condensed the last difficult section considerably. So in that sense, she shortened the slog in her real life for us. It must have been very very hard living through what she lived through.
If you like stories of adventure, like Into Thin Air or Wild, then you will like this book. Enjoyed learning more about rock climbing and other outdoor sports from the comfort of my bed (and sometimes, my kayak -- but not a kayak like hers! You couldn't read in a boat the way she was paddling it. This lady is adventurous!)
August 27, 2018
The writing was great! It was a lot of fun reading about climbing, all the different kinds of places you can go and how much variety there is. It's definitely unlike anything I've read before. If it were solely focused on that, more of an information/tourist type of book I would rate it higher for the descriptions alone.
The actual story though was extremely frustrating. Spoilers!
There is a happy ending, but unfortunately you have to read over 90% of it to get there. Before all that, there's an endless number of people that basically take advantage of the system, by working the minimum to quality for employment insurance and then quit to climb. There's poor decision after decision that made it really difficult to finish. I normally read a novel within a few days, while this one took a good month. It was just super annoying, and even great writing couldn't make up for that.
The actual story though was extremely frustrating. Spoilers!
There is a happy ending, but unfortunately you have to read over 90% of it to get there. Before all that, there's an endless number of people that basically take advantage of the system, by working the minimum to quality for employment insurance and then quit to climb. There's poor decision after decision that made it really difficult to finish. I normally read a novel within a few days, while this one took a good month. It was just super annoying, and even great writing couldn't make up for that.
July 10, 2019
Jan writes about her life as a young adult in the tight-knit climbing community in British Columbia, Canada. Jan jumps from job to job to support her climbing and from boyfriend to boyfriend as it is the 1980s with few female climbers, so she has her pick. Jan then meets and starts dating an experienced climber, Dan Guthrie, who a year and half into their relationship, dies in an avalanche in Alaska. Devastated, Jan turns to one of Dan’s climbing buddies, Grant, who she doesn’t know very well but who gets her out of bed every day to hike or climb. When she ends up pregnant, Grant and Jan get married and Jan describes being a new mother and married to a logger who is away in the camps all week while Jan is still trying to figure out what she truly wants out of life. Jan is not sparing when it comes to describing her difficult marriage and her attempts to make her own way.
July 19, 2018
What a marvellous book this turned out to be ,You literally feel like your climbing with Jan every step of the way and feel every emotion that she feels especially When her 2 partners die from climbing, also many of her friends have fallen and not recovered from their injurys. I guess this Is part of the risk you take when you climb..... She managed to overcome many obstacles In her life ,and became a teacher , and a mother of 2 young children she was virtually a single mother as her husband was not very supportive towards her going to University, or other thing's she wanted to do in her life. Eventually they ended up Separating Well Written the author has a fluid Writing Style.Nicely Produced Copy of the book....
August 21, 2020
While I know that this story was supposed to be one of resilience and renewal, all I could think while reading it was "Holy crap a lot of climbers die!". No kid of mine better ever set foot on the side of a mountain. The author lost friends with such frequency it was quite startling. How she kept climbing is beyond me. Although I appreciated her honesty about the terror that often gripped her during the start of a climb especially after she became a mother. Often adventure books make me want to participate in the adventure...Wild made me want to hike the Pacific Crest Trail, Born to Run made me briefly consider long distance running ...but End of the Rope had the opposite effect. Unless there is a meandering trail up the mountain, I am staying on flat ground!
March 23, 2021
Most of the mountaineering books are focused on the survival or triumph of an unclimbed peak or route. Those books skip the person's life and common experience outside the mountain. However, in this book, Jan reveals her life with brutal honesty and witty humor, which mesmerizes readers. We don't see many female climbers. The book provides a glimpse of how female climbers feel in this male dominate sport. Jan's life story, everything from childhood to her education journey, is inspiring and motivational. Her stories feel like something we can relate to. She is not a child prodigy like David lama or Tommy Caldwell. So all the things she did and survived can be looked at as a source of inspiration.
January 28, 2024
As a climber and a mom I wanted to like this more than I did. As a memoir it's strangely lacking in insight and reflection. It centers around the men in her life, despite the existence of many strong female partnerships. There is no narrative about her births or her relationship with her kids. It seems that the book is primarily about marriage rather than mountains and motherhood, and not so much marriage as about the man she is married to. There is a lot you could assume or glean about why this is, but it would be more interesting to hear from her what she has processed. That said, it is a compelling story to hear from the women doing the quiet, brave work behind the men whose big mountain missions are glorified.
October 3, 2020
This memoir is an important examination of exploring your passions in life, such as mountaineering. After growing up with an alcoholic father and a passive mother who "settled" for the rest of her life, Redford describes her adventures with detail. She had to endure the losses of several friends due to the dangerous sport, and one particular loss was particularly gripping. Other aspects of the book were a bit tedious as Redford outlined her relationships with men, and the conclusion of the book was disappointing since it lacked the detail that was needed to describe her eventual successful partnership.
July 5, 2023
Jan Redford shares her vulnerability as a climber, member of the climbing community, mother, and wife. I read part of this book aloud to my husband as we drove past Golden so it was pretty cool to imagine what it was like for Jan being in a remote community raising little kids and pining for her goals to go university and be something beyond being a mom. This book is about identity and family and whether you are a climber or not, it will resonate. As a wife of a back-country skier and trail runner, I can relate to some of the fears that arise with loved ones in the mountains. Redford experiences lots of loss and a marriage that almost crushes her spirit but ultimately finds her way.
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