Tek Kill

TekWar #8

by William Shatner, Ron Goulart (Contributor)

In order to expose a sinister, far-reaching criminal conspiracy, detective Jake Cardigan , the twenty-second century’s most able private detective, must prove that an open-and-shut murder case is anything but

Once again the inimitable William Shatner, Star Trek’s original Captain Kirk and a true star of science fiction adventure, brings the future vibrantly alive in the eighth nonstop, action-packed futuristic caper featuring private investigator Jake Cardigan, sworn enemy of the all-powerful TekLords.
 
Walt Bascom, head of the Cosmos Detective Agency, is in serious trouble. Video surveillance in the home of superrich businessman Dwight Grossman clearly shows Bascom murdering the entrepreneur in cold blood. Bascom swears he didn’t do it, and he’s relying on his agency’s best investigator, Jake Cardigan, to prove it somehow.
 
Jake and his partner, Sid Gomez, have their work cut out for them. The only “evidence” on their side is the testimony of the dead man’s sister, Susan, who claims she’s had telepathic visions of her brother’s true death. But Susan is an admitted devotee of the powerful, reality-altering electronic drug Tek. Whoever wanted her brother dead—and Bascom accused—went to great lengths to set up the scheme, and those responsible are not going to sit idly by while a pair of snooping private eyes and a burned-out Tek fiend start digging for answers. To keep the killers’ dark and very dirty secrets hidden, one corpse may not be enough.

This ebook features an illustrated biography of William Shatner including rare images and never-before-seen documents from the author’s personal collection.
 

Genres: Science Fiction, Fiction, Mystery, Science Fiction Fantasy

273 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 29, 1996

About the author

William Shatner is the author of nine Star Trek novels, including the New York Times bestsellers The Ashes of Eden and The Return. He is also the author of several nonfiction books, including Get a Life! and I'm Working on That. In addition to his role as Captain James T. Kirk, he stars as Denny Crane in the hit television series from David E. Kelley, Boston Legal -- a role for which he has won two Emmy Awards and a Golden Globe.

Reviews

[Marc *Dark Reader with a Thousand Young! Iä!* · Rating 1 out of 5]

It, very, was bad.

I've never read anything by William Shatner. This remains true after finishing this book; it, and the whole Tek series, were ghostwritten by Ron Goulart and despite any historical statements about what contributions Shatner may have made, the content of other books by Goulart I've peeked at make me question whether Shatner played made any contribution at all beyond his name recognition. That's perfectly fine. I wonder more whether Shatner even read any of the books and if so, what he actually thought about them aside from the cheques, because, yeesh!

The Tek world is a faux-future noir-light setting rife with 1930's slang, in which robots play nonsensical roles, everything is made of plas, and real men are obnoxious jerks with anger management issues.

I read this along with the '372 Pages We'll Never Get Back' bad book podcast. They covered the first in the series, TekWar, some years ago. I didn't read that one but listened to the podcast episodes. Why did they jump to book 8 in the series? Why the hell not, from everything I've seen there's no benefit to reading them in order.

In fact, there's no benefit to reading them at all, except for yuks, and to experience Goulart's unique style first hand. That, very often, style includes misplaced phrases within sentences, old-timey slang replete with Yiddishisms, and interrupting dialogue with em-dashes approximately half of the—

The only way to understand the books is as satire, and Goulart is acknowledged as a long-time writer of satirical science fiction. But the books are played straight on presentation; there's nothing on the covers or marketing to suggest they're not meant to be serious, but on reading the only explanation for so many awful, no good, terrible scenes is that they're meant to be funny. They don't succeed, but this intent is the only possible explanation. Did Shatner understand the books to be satire? I just don't know.

Plot-wise, not much makes sense. What was the point in the bad guys trying to frame the head of the detective agency for a random murder? How would that have helped them in any way? It merely drew attention and forced the detectives to track down the real baddies. What was the point of the side character's psychic visions? No point, as it turns out, other than to give other characters a reason to pursue specific leads that there was no other connection to. What was the point of inserting multiple clown-based locations? What was the point of the whole future white supremist faction and its Rush Limbaugh stand-in shock jock leader? None of this had any bearing on the story's outcome, which was weaksauce even without all these pointless red herrings.

Aside from its brevity, there's really nothing to say in favor of this book, so all that's left is a list of the mostly unnecessary portmanteus, which between them and robots doing very unrobotic things, is the only nod to "science fiction" to be found here:

Tekhead
medbots
brainbox
secsystem
vidtapes
slingchair
plazcup
orangesub
nearcaf
skycar
vidphone
plastiglass
voxwatch
skyvan
sec-tapes
stungun
lazgun
voxbox
litesigns
gunmetal (yes this is a real word but it deserves to be included in this list)
vidnet
holostage
plyosheet
soycakes
prosub
neowood
sudaspuds
plyonapkin
citrisub
compscreens
plyochief
plazplate
soyloaf
plowboy
fruitzer
lazbeam
plazbottle
tobaccosub
brainstim
plaz
slax
plaztile
mattrug (it's both a mat and a rug?)
viewindows (i.e. windows you can see out of)
sky-cars
landcars
plyoblanket
SinTek
thermoquilt
slaxsuit
InfoCenter
plyalloy
skyshuttle
MoodGun
sinleather
CD-paper
guidebot
realpaper
plazwalled
neoleather
seceye
flamegun
aircirc
trudisk
sinivory
neowicker
realstraw
skirtsuit
sinsilk
neoleather slax
neostone
lazrifle
lazcannon
voxselector
simtables
landvan
sinstraw
plazflask
skylimo
brightlit
glosign
shockstik
landtruck
electrocars
voxphone
wallscreen
needlegun
handphone
shattergun

[Beth · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is all but the same book as TekWar, the first book in this series, which I read a few months ago. A non-mystery mystery, a thriller with not much thrilling going on, dialogue straight from the 1930s (for some reason?), enjoyable scene-setting, violence with a cartoony vibe. There's a cast of thousands, many only existing to be a contact of a contact. Speaking of contacts, there's never any trouble lining one up in any part of the world. Stuff blows up. The western hemisphere still feels like it's about the size of Los Angeles county.

This time around, there's a young woman who has visions that are always correct. Although she's the first character we meet, she isn't relevant to the major plot, which involves a synthetic*, non-addictive version of Tek that is being developed by a pharmaceutical corporation "in cahoots" with a Tek lord in NorCal. Jake's boss Bascomb is framed for a murder (of a whistleblower, I think? it hardly matters), so Jake, Bascomb's daughter Kasey**, and Jake's partner Gomez travel the world trying to exonerate him, getting into lots of fights. Along the way, they visit a stereotypical Texas with a robotic wild west show, and an unnamed island in the Caribbean.

* non-addictive, I can see. but synthetic? Tek is a computerized drug to begin with, nowhere close to its evident real-life analog cocaine.
** consistently characterized by Jake as a whack-a-doodle right-winger, but who always ends up as the more reasonable of the two in their conversations.

I wouldn't have bothered with this, or TekWar, if they weren't selections of the "372 Pages We'll Never Get Back" podcast. Tek Kill is occasionally amusing, but if I'd picked up any book of this series on my own out of curiosity, I'd have quit reading less than a chapter in. Mildly quirky charm doesn't elevate Tek Kill from mediocrity. This is supermarket-level sci-fi, hastily churned out and forgettable.

[hollis · Rating 2 out of 5]

i have a lot of love for this era of sci fi, and i also have a lot of experience with "less accomplished" authors (think your ya novels and the like). i normally have a lot of fun with most books even if the level of writing skill isn't all there, so this one took me by surprise as one of the first books that i can state, without a shadow of a doubt, is truly, truly, a piece of shit. ron goulart is a master of writing characters that truly feel nothing like human beings, from weird and constant yoda-fying of conversations ('this isn't, jake, a good time to talk' (what the fuck?)), to characters openly saying 'i would like you if you weren't such a supporter of conservative politics'. at least it was a pretty quick read.

[Captnamerca · Rating 1 out of 5]

Goulart has mastered the art of the annoying mid-sentence interjection. His stories are crappy recycled detective plazschlock, too.

[Randy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ghost written by Ron Goulart

[Niko · Rating 1 out of 5]

Read-along with the 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back podcast.

[Jacob · Rating 1 out of 5]

Just bad. Wouldn’t have bothered finishing (or starting it, for that matter) had I not read it for the 372 Pages podcast. The story was incomprehensible despite the nonstop exposition, the dozens of characters were indistinguishable from one another (the characters who do stand out are straight out of central casting), and major plot points are left unresolved or waved away.

[Joshua Begley · Rating 2 out of 5]

Read this so I could follow along with the podcast 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back. The book wasn't very good, but it was entertaining, and the podcast is great.

[Neil · Rating 2 out of 5]

So, after finishing this, I found myself wondering who spit into his [their] bean curds and curdled their drink? This was a very strange addition to the Tek universe - it starts off rather jarring and obnoxious before it settles down into is "familiar" pattern/flow. The character development was pretty weak, the action was meh, and it felt like the series was slowly running out of steam. I could not quite decide if the intent was to get rid of Tek once-and-for-all, or if it had now become an "accepted necessary evil" in this sad, pathetic future. It really felt like it had been written for a different series and then modified to fit "this" one.

One might wonder: why was it jarring and obnoxious? It starts off with numerous blathering and snarky comments about conservatives and "the right wing" before introducing a talk show host [one J.J. Bracken] who is offensively non-liberal, who seems to hate Jews, who wants to euthanize the elderly and those considered "non-productive members of society" (my words more than the author(s), but that's what it felt like), who tars-and-feathers everybody who disagrees with him, and who misrepresents the agenda of others to further his own interest(s). It was just completely and utterly idiotic to have this clown show up on the series. Not only that, but various law enforcement organizations are negatively referenced for how brutal they are in their tactics, and one character is openly mocked for not being "brutal enough" or "conservative enough" to qualify for certain police squads. This whole bitter diatribe that ran as an undercurrent through the whole book just about ruined it for me; I disliked it quite a bit.

It seems like one has run into "conservative characters" elsewhere in the series, and they were not nearly as bad as the "right wing conservatives" were portrayed in this novel. It was like the authors took every little thing they did not like about the conservative side of life and pushed it to a bizarre extreme in telling this story. It was really quite sad, considering how buffoonish they had to make the "right wingers" appear in order to make the "heroes" look "better" in comparison. It is not like Jake or Sid really have to stretch their brains or work their minds that much in their cases; they have plenty of informants who do their work for them and the case just seems to fall together into their laps, or the situation resolves itself in their favor. I will say this much, Jake is a better father than Walter Bascom (I realize that is not saying much), and he still leaves something to be desired as a father.

Finally, the authors seem to have overdone it with Sid's idiosyncratic use of Spanish words/phrases interspersed amongst his English usage. I know in a prior novel Sid admitted that he did that to "stick it in the eye" of those around him who treated him poorly and looked down on him for being Hispanic, but it did get to be a bit much in this novel. That, and his continual exclamation of "Chihuahua" got to be more than a bit much; it became exceptionally annoying. But, whatever. I suppose in light of the earlier revelation as to why Sid talks like that, it is only fitting, on the one hand. It was still annoying.

We find out that not only does Bascom have three children, but he also has a DAUGHTER with whom he has poor relations. In addition, this daughter is a RIGHT-WING CONSERVATIVE!!!! Ohhhhh, the horror! The horror if it all! Bascom is a lousy father who cannot seem to stay married and have any kind of long-term relationships, yet he is going to judge his daughter? Jake is a bit of a jerk to her, as well, treating her poorly and ditching her every chance he can get (even though she wants to help out in clearing her father's besmirched name). I realize not every family member is going to get alone (consider the villainous brother and sister in this piece and what the brother was going to do to his sister), but Kacey merely seemed to serve as a target for the author(s) to aim as much vitriol at as could be aimed and spewed forth. Jake was constantly picking fights with her and deriding her, putting her down as much as he could. Great people skills, from such an open-minded guy!

I suppose one could say that Kacey is a strong woman and a strong character, because she did not let the abusive words and behavior of her father and Jake Cardigan get her down or get in her way; she fought to help prove her father's innocence AND helped take down a major new Tek factory in the Caribbean. She stood up for herself and what she believed; she did not apologize for her beliefs and she tried to give as good as she got. The guys were just utter and complete jerks in this one. Even Sid was a bit on the jerkish side.

The story definitely starts out in an unexpected direction (despite the blurb on the back cover) in light of the prior novels. For example, we actually get to meet five other members of Bascom's Detective Agency; they are introduced and their physical appearance is described. That was a bit of a twist; normally, the reader is told that "some operatives in the area will be put on guard duty" and that is it.

Walt Bascom is framed for murder and arrested. Obviously, Jake and Sid believe he is innocent. The two men and the other five members of the agency work at proving Bascom is innocent. As Jake and Sid try to meet their underworld contacts, they continually find their sources of information have either dried up or been killed. Eventually, they discover that one of the seven braintrust members is working for the opposition, and he is thrown out on his keister. Despite numerous sources dying, things "work out" for Walt and his operatives and Walt's innocence is declared while a major Tek production site is destroyed.

I am not sure if I would call it "telepathy", "clairvoyance", or "seeing visions", but one of the characters keeps having dreams in which she sees events that are either about to happen or are currently happening. It is because of her visions that Jake and Sid are provided with a description of the characters who framed Bascom for the murder of their victim. The villains grow a bit desperate in their attempts to throw up road blocks to prevent Sid, Jake, and Walt from getting to the bottom of this "mystery" [up to and including kidnapping Daniel Cardigan, wiping young Daniel's mind, and sticking Daniel in a Maximum Juvenile Camp for violent, underage criminals.

It was an okay story, overall. With so many characters being killed as the story progressed, I was surprised there was anyone left alive at the end of the story who was not a "main character" (including Molly and Dan; I could see Dan being killed to prove some kind of point to Jake). I also expected Bascom's daughter to be killed, considering how poorly she was presented in the beginning chapters of the story. It did move at a fast pace, it did hold most of my interest throughout the entire reading. I did guess correctly on how I thought some events would play out.

There was one part in the book I thought was pretty funny. Sid and Jake reveal which one of the seven is a traitor and has been supplying the Teklords with information as to their itinerary and who they plan to question next, on their next destination to investigate. When Walt asks if they have any convincing proof of the guilt of this agent, the comment is made that they have convincing photographs of the monetary transaction taking place in addition to some key witnesses who observed the payoff occurring. It struck me as funny that the two men would claim they had convincing photographs of the payoff, considering that Walt Bascom had been arrested and charged with murder based on the footage of two security cameras and what those cameras appeared to have recorded. So here is a man who was falsely accused of murder based on what was believed to be a "truthful" recording (because NOBODY can break into a security system and create fake data or add false data into the data stream) from two cameras, and yet Walt is more than willing to believe some convincing photographs will prove the guilt of his former operative (granted, the testimony of two witnesses no doubt helped, but it still seemed highly ironic that Walt would so readily accept digital photographs after having been falsely implicated himself).

There did seem to be a "major" loose end in the book. After the initial operative has been exposed, Walt's "second-in-command" seems to be attempting to stage a corporate coup (or hostile takeover), and nothing happens to him. Walt is explaining to Roy Anselmo how an expert in creating forged electronic images in security footage has been grabbed and smuggled across the border in order to prove Walt's innocence; the expert forger has even admitted to having altered the security footage to make it look like Walt committed the murder. Walt is in the midst of explaining this to his second-in-command when the police department barges in and Detective Drexler threatens to arrest Walt for kidnapping and smuggling. So either there is another leak, or Roy Anselmo is attempting to replace Walt Bascom as head of Walt's company. The authors never explain what happens after this point (other than Walt leaving with Drexler only to see Walt's witness die when the skyvan in which he is traveling crashes to the ground below and explodes).

Overall, it was a decent book. I think it would have been a lot better without all of the bitter diatribes about "the right wing" or the exceptionally stupid portrayals of right-wing louts scattered throughout the book. I do not see myself reading this book a second time, to be honest. Once was more than enough.

[Jeffrey Greek · Rating 3 out of 5]

I do love the Shatlart habit of not realizing until twenty pages from the end of these books that they need to start resolving the plots, and then proceeding to do so in the most hand-wavey bullshit ways possible. Although this "fuck it, just blow up the lab" ending isn't nearly as satisfying as the "fuck it, kill almost all the villains in a freak earthquake" ending that they used in an earlier entry.

[John Wright · Rating 1 out of 5]

372 Pages We’ll Never Get Back

[Jenny]

DNF about 25% through. Was really excited for this one but was finding it difficult to get through, especially with all the other things I'm currently reading...still going to listen to the podcast, though.

[Jeremy Campbell · Rating 1 out of 5]

Garbage Sci Fi

This is the awful pulp sci fi you would pick out of your neighbors garage sale and then get mad you paid $.50 for. The ghostwriter (Shatner did not write this) had an obsession of describing everyone by weight (the fat man, the skinny blond woman) and it’s just bizarre and unimaginative

[David Erickson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tek Kill is the seventh in the Tek series penned by none other than Captain Kirk himself, albeit under a name we know just as well, William Shatner.

It is a fast paced adventure tale that takes place in 2122 and reintroduces the indomitable PI of the Cosmos Detective Agency, Jake Cardigan. Handsome in a rugged way, Jake has a checkered past that continues to haunt him, and ex-wife you never see and a strapping young man of 16 with which he has a conflicting relationship.

The tale opens with a frightening vision of the murder of her father, seen through the mind of a former Tek junkie. The police see her vision as just the mental ramblings of a disturbed woman in the throes of withdrawal because they already know who the murderer was, Walt Bascomb, the head of the Cosmos Detective Agency.

In a world as high tech as only a science fiction writer can envision, Jake ferrets out the truth behind the murder and discovers a monstrous secret hatched by a man wealthy and powerful beyond dreams. And Jake, along with his partner of 5 years, Sal Gomez, Jake’s son and a unique supporting cast, unravels the truth and brings this well-written tale to a climatic conclusion.

This is not a high-minded story, but a fun, fast-paced novel.

For readers who like Clive Cussler, but require more science fiction, this is a book for you. If you’re looking for angst and desperate people with desperate lives in which much of the read digs deep into their sordid and disheveled motivations, move along. There is nothing more to see.

[I. · Rating 2 out of 5]

This series has pretty much run out of steam following the same formula of go here, meet him, go there rinse repeat. Also Gomes is the most annoying character in book history. If I have to read chihuahua one more time I'm going to plotz!

[Kay Iscah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really need to start reading earlier at night. I kept dozing off while trying to read this one. Not because of the book, but because it was 1am, so some of the details are bit muddled in my mind. I do think this is maybe not the best series to try to marathon. A few threads follow from book to book, but they're very episodic which can feel a bit monotonous when you try to read all nine in a row.

This is a series I would not mind seeing get a TV reboot. I enjoyed the TV movies Shatner was in, but I think the technology to really visualize the world Shatner had created wasn't quite there yet. And there's a lot of visual fun to be had with androids and holograms that modern special effects (or a bigger effects budget) could capture. The character of Gomez in particular, while I liked the original actor, I think seeing a Hispanic character front and center would be nice. Good handling could flesh these characters out a bit better, and maybe weave together a bit more of an arc for the Tek War.

[Troy Watson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good Book

This was another good book in the TekWar series. If the luck ever runs out on the two main characters the series will end fast. They seem to have the same luck that James Bond has. They keep getting stunned, but never seriously hurt. The bad guys will stun them and capture them, but they always get away. Reminds me of the old Batman series from the 1960s. This book involves rich twins who are using their legitimate business to manufacture illegal Tek. This book has lots of people being killed to try to cover up this fact. This book also shows how having anyone close to you can become a liability to anyone with power; police, detectives, politicians, business executives, etc.
There is also the problem with only knocking someone out or stunning them. There are bad guys that should just be put down like rabid animals. At least John Wick didn't have to worry about facing the same guy over and over again.
Overall all I really enjoyed this book and I highly recommend it. Now on to the last book.

[Michael · Rating 1 out of 5]

Donald and I read this together for the 372-Pages podcast. It's the second in the series the book club podcast has covered, the previous read being the first of the series.

I have to admit, I never got the love (if that's the right word) some of the 372-Pages listeners apparently had for TekWar. There were some unintentionally funny elements, but I found it less appealing than many of the other things we've read. The story was just bland and very samey, and this one was... well, more of the same.

I don't have anything to say about this, really. The podcast episodes were mostly fun, as usual, but I think it was clear that this wasn't a favorite of the hosts, either.

The main thing I took away from this reading is that in the TekWar universe, nearly everything is fake—plas-this, sub-that, neo, pseudo, etc.—to the point that even plants are all merely holograms. It's a disturbing vision of the future that I'm glad to leave behind!

[Delia Binder · Rating 2 out of 5]

::1-1/2 Stars b/c it's Ron Goulart William Shatner.::

The premise is Jake Cardigan's boss, Walter Bascom, is accused of murdering a billionaire entrepreneur in cold blood - with video evidence to back it up. So, if Bascom didn't do it, then clearly he's being framed by some baddie with power resources, yes?

I've liked Goulart's writing as other people - but this just isn't holding my attention. DNF'd at about 15%....

[Bryan Woerner · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was entertaining though still cheesy like Tek War and the rest of the series (tv versions too)