We're Pregnant! The First Time Dad's Pregnancy Handbook

by Adrian Kulp

Become an excellent first-time dad and a supportive partner with this go-to-guide to fatherhood! Or give the perfect gift for any dad-to-be!

Being a great dad doesn't mean being perfect; it means participating in the experience with empathy and confidence. From the basics of pregnancy, to designing a birthing plan to tips on being helpful and supportive for your partner, We're Pregnant! provides all the need-to-know information on how to be a fully prepared parent.

Featuring must-ask questions for the doctor, milestone trackers, and more, this funny and friendly standout among dad pregnancy books also takes you beyond the due date, offering a helping hand on how to plan and perfect your own style of childcare.

Focus on one month at a time — Organized by each month in each trimester, this baby book for dad explains what to expect, when and which milestones are coming up for your new baby.

Find insight on issues big & small — Learn how to thrive as new parents with useful tips on everything from bottle temperature to bonding with your new baby.

Look forward to your growing family — Keep your relationship positive and healthy by setting family goals like creating a fun pregnancy announcement or planning a relaxing trip.

Be a pro parent with this relatable new dad book that covers everything the expectant father needs to know.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Self Help, Family, Audiobook, Childrens, Relationships

292 pages, Paperback

First published April 24, 2018

Reviews

[Guy H · Rating 2 out of 5]

The author is an entertainment industry veteran and tries to bring some of that "pizazz" into what is essentially a clinical guide book. Much of what works about this book is redundant with What to Expect. I'd suggest buying that one and skipping this one.

The main things that set this book apart from What to Expect When You're Expecting are the following:
1. It is written with expectant dads in mind.
2. It is shorter, less detailed, and has lots of bullet pointed lists.
3. It is physically smaller. It could easily fit in a small laptop bag. Very convenient to carry around.
4. It has lots of frat boyish "humor" such as how your wife's boobs are changing and how she's not going to wear thongs.

Items 1, 2, and 3 are what I was looking for. Item 4 is sort of insulting. It perpetuates stereotypes about men that buyers of this book probably don't identify with.

[Toe · Rating 2 out of 5]

Objective Summary
Kulp provides information about changes in the mother’s and baby’s bodies during the nine months of pregnancy and the following three months. He also provides some tips for new dads about how to help their partners and babies. Much of the information describes the physical and mental processes mom and baby will experience, such as the size of the baby at each week of pregnancy and any developments involving body parts. Kulp encourages new dads to help their partners by planning ahead, taking over chores, and being patient. He provides checklists for the hospital bag, baby registry, and each trimester, which are summarized below.

First trimester checklist
Home:
1. Discuss your living situation with your partner and focus on having your home ready for when the baby arrives
2. Assume control of the household so mom feels less stressed
3. Set a budget for maternity clothes
4. Start researching your bigger baby purchase like car seats, strollers, and video cameras
5. Make sure your insurance covers life, disability, homeowners or rental, auto, and any other special coverage you may need
Baby:
1. Nutrition is of the utmost importance, so make sure mom is eating well and getting enough nutritional foods
2. Figure out a fun way to announce your new baby to your loved ones
Mom:
1. Make sure she cuts smoking and alcohol, if it applies to her
2. Help her get onto a regular sleep cycle and a daily exercise regimen
3. Take her shopping for maternity clothes
4. Plan a trip: the second trimester is the ideal time to go on a trip before it becomes too difficult for her to travel, so start planning now
Prenatal appointments:
1. Between 4 to 8 weeks is the first visit for blood test, ultrasound (for heartbeat), physical exam, pelvic exam, overview of prenatal care for the next 8 months

Hospital bag checklist
1. A few days’ worth of extra comfortable clothes like sweatpants, hoodies, and loose-fitting pants and shirts for mom
2. Water bottles
3. GoPro or video recording equipment and chargers
4. Laptop or tablet with downloaded movies or a TV series
5. Kindle or book
6. Phone chargers
7. Dopp kit with hygiene items you would take on any trip
8. Sleeping pad
9. Feminine pads
10. Mom underwear, which is baggy and loose-fitting

Baby items to buy or register:
1. Infant car seat that can snap into stroller
2. Stroller
3. Baby carrier
4. Clothing that covers 0-3 months, 3-6 months, and 6-9 months
a. 7-8 one-piece sleep and play outfits with footsies and hand covers and zip-up front
b. 5 long-sleeve onesies and 5 short-sleeve onesies with kimono opening
c. 5 pull-up pants or legwarmers
d. 2 to 3 wearable blankets
e. 4 breathable muslin blankets for swaddling
f. 2 hats
g. 7 to 8 pairs of socks and booties
h. 1 snowsuit for winter
5. Crib, mattress, mattress cover, and crib sheets
6. Baby monitor with video that connects to smartphone
7. Bottles, breast pump, and formula
8. Bibs and burp cloths
9. Newborn diapers and wipes
10. Diaper disposal system
11. Baby bathtub and toiletries
12. Baby first aid kit, rectal thermometer, and nail clippers
13. Baby bouncer

Second trimester checklist
Home:
1. Begin working on nursery
2. Create a baby registry
Baby:
1. Sign up for childbirth and Lamaze classes
2. Plan the gender reveal with your partner
3. Share some baby names that you like with your partner
Mom:
1. Buy a maternity pillow and flat shoes
2. Focus on cooking smaller meals with samplings of different items
3. Discuss breastfeeding with partner and baby’s doctor
Prenatal appointments:
1. Between 18 and 20 weeks, fetal ultrasound will reveal gender and allow the doctor to examine baby’s major developments
2. Around 24 weeks, glucose screening test
Hospital:
1. Discuss birth plan with partner
2. Start packing your hospital bags
3. Discuss with partner whether you want to hire a doula, and begin interviews if so

Third trimester checklist
Home:
1. Babyproof your home
2. Install car seat
3. Have hospital bag with you at all times
4. Write thank you notes for baby gifts
5. Make meals you can store in the freezer
Baby:
1. Talk with partner about pediatricians, gather referrals, research online, and interview potential candidates
2. Enroll in childcare and infant CPR classes
3. Practice what you learn from classes with your partner
Mom:
1. Practice what you learn in Lamaze and childbirth classes
2. Establish a sleep plan with mom for when the baby comes and how you will manage nighttime feedings and changings
3. Consider giving a sentimental push present for your partner
Prenatal appointment:
1. Finalize the birth plan with your partner, your doula (if you hired one), and the obstetrician
2. Tour the hospital or birthing center
3. Have the action plan ready to go for when partner goes into labor

Fourth trimester checklist
Home:
1. Be prepared for visitors and make sure they wash their hands
2. Research hiring a nanny or childcare center
3. Plan for old baby clothing—donate or save for future children
4. Prepare the home for a mobile baby and toddler
Baby:
1. Change diapers and practice swaddling technique
2. Play with baby
3. Take baby outside between feedings
4. Feed baby and organize and label breast milk
5. Focus on tummy time
6. Record everything with pictures, videos, and journals
Mom:
1. Help mom with breastfeeding by educating yourself on latching techniques, types of pumping equipment, and how to safely store breast milk
2. Be extra supportive of mom as she recovers and look for signs of postpartum mood disorders
3. Make sure mom schedules time with baby if she goes back to work to not miss important milestones
4. Schedule a date night with mom once baby is accepting the bottle
Medical appointments:
1. Six-week postpartum checkup for mom
2. For baby
a. Three to five days after birth
b. One-month checkup
c. Two-month checkup


Subjective Thoughts
In any new endeavor, you gotta start somewhere. That somewhere should probably be elsewhere than this book. It was mostly a chronicle of baby’s and mother’s physical and emotional changes through pregnancy. It may be interesting to some to know that baby is holding its head more erect in week 16 of pregnancy, while mother’s energy and moods may be stabilizing. But what am I really supposed to do with that information? Yes, baby will grow and develop. Yes, mother will be sore, tired, moody, and gaining weight. I knew that before reading this book, and I could deduce or observe it myself. Again I ask: What am I supposed to do with this information, exactly? Kulp provides a few tips that are helpful, such as take care of chores around the house and be patient with mother, who may be in pain or nervous. He summarizes his most useful tips in checklists. These might be the only actually practical parts of the book. What is a 280-page book could better be distributed as a 5-page pamphlet or 10-minute YouTube video. I think YouTube videos are much more effective tools than books when it comes to learning the latest brands or the best techniques for swaddling or changing diapers. Thanks, GoogleTubes! Your creepy observations of me over the last ten years may actually be a fair trade if you can deliver me useful information about taking care of my baby.

This is my first book about pregnancy and fetal development. My biggest takeaway is that, like much of life, you’ll have to figure out most of the stuff on your own or by asking the people around you. I may look at other pregnancy and fatherhood books, such as “What to Expect When You're Expecting,” “The Baby Owner’s Manual,” or “The New Dad’s Survival Guide.” Or maybe not. Some things in life are better learned through doing than reading. After all, people have been doing this parenting thing for thousands of years.


Revealing Quotes
“Be proactive and step up. Take ownership and prove to her, and most importantly to yourself, that you have the insight, confidence, and drive to have her back.”

“She’s most likely experiencing discomfort and is excited, terrified, nervous, sleep deprived, and anything else that you can think of. She could really use your support in every way possible—physical, mental, and emotional.”

“Be the rock: Provide reassurance to your partner that you’re going to be with her 100 percent of the way.”

[Chalon Fogarty · Rating 5 out of 5]

He’s here

[Jess | thegreeneyedreader · Rating 4 out of 5]

Review to come

[Kimberly · Rating 1 out of 5]

I ordered this for my husband, thinking it would provide useful info on the stages of our pregnancy. Unfortunately this book lacks the depth of info we were seeking. For example, it breezes through the topic of morning sickness, explaining painfully little about nausea. But it dedicates countless pages to flatulence, spending time on this topic in nearly every chapter. As a result, for months my husband has been excitedly asking "when does the farting start?". It is clear that the author's goal was to humor and entertain men, not to be helpful.

[Corey Campbell · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think this was a nice primer on how to prepare for your first pregnancy. It was filled with good information, although it was incredibly light on details and the kind of person I am is the kind who wants to dive in and learn as much as I possibly can. There's also almost no information about labor/delivery in here. I didn't love the tone, and found it frustrating that the assumption here was that men don't know certain things about their partners (like constipation, favorite smells in candles, their EMOTIONS, etc.).

If you're looking for a shallow introduction on the whole process, this is great to get your feet wet. But don't expect the kind of knowledge you'd get from What to Expect or the (much better) Mayo Clinic books.

[Tony Machnik · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great book that will prepare expectant fathers on what they may experience while their wife is pregnant!

[MaDDeRHaTTeR · Rating 2 out of 5]

It just may... Be a good book... BUT

The way this book STARTS... Makes it SERIOUSLY difficult to get into. The book MAY be written by a man. It sounds like a man, that is with a female who has the poor guys, nuts in a vice. Men... IF you are new to fatherhood... I suggest you just skip the intro. You may be to annoyed, offended, or discouraged to continue becuse it LEADS one to believe that it will be written from a "sympathetic to the male position" point of view... When you open it and start reading, very quickly it feels like men are under ATTACK, BY an ANGRY, and BITTER woman. The fear and confusion one goes through when first learning your about to become a dad is difficult ENOUGH without someone ELSE'S bitter female going OFF on you. I am not inexperienced in these things and was scoping out a book for my newly informed son-in-law to help him through bumpy times with my daughter. I WON'T subject him to this book. It MAY get better, I am not sure, the beginning just left a bitter taste in my mouth. Congratz to you fellas! Good Luck!

[Trevor · Rating 1 out of 5]

The first half of this book is written for the male stereotypes who star in Carl’s Jr commercials that struggle to feed themselves, let alone anyone else. If you’re a man who has evolved past grunting and stick based utensils feel free to skip this one for another book that doesn’t assume you’re the type of guy who would rather watch football than take part in your children’s lives.

[Ali · Rating 4 out of 5]

کتاب بدی نیست، هفته‌ها رو دسته بندی کرده و خیلی ساده توضیح میده چه اتفاقاتی تو هر هفته میوفته.
اتفاقاتی که برای مادر میوفته، برای بچه و همینطور چه دکترهایی باید رفته بشه.
کتابش خیلی بیش از حد first time dad handbook بود!
یعنی توضیحات خفن قرار نیست بخونین، بلکه مختصر و مفید توضیح میده که چه اتفاقاتی قراره بیوفته.

[S & M Books · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great read for dads to be

I'm writing this at week 22, and I feel phenomenally empowered with knowledge to help me continue preparing to be a first time father. This is an insightful and easy to read "book", I am grateful to have read it and encourage you to do the same. I believe the information is accurate and sincere but at times it can be difficult accepting a source of information if it's also a source of solicitation. Not sure if Adrian's publisher had a choice, bit I would of gladly paid a few more dollars for the content with out the subtle (or not so subtle) advertisements throughout. All in all, still a terrific book for first time dad's.

[Matt · Rating 1 out of 5]

90% of this book straight up plagiarism (see “What to Expect When You’re Expecting”). The remaining 10% is hokey, jokey rubbish. Skip this book! There are so many other great pregnancy and expectant father books out there.

[Tom Zimny · Rating 3 out of 5]

The bar for men is embarrassingly low.

[Garrett Condon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh boy.

[Linda O · Rating 3 out of 5]

A shortened version of “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” that I read with my husband. He has a short attention span, and this book did the trick.

[Alexander Kovachev · Rating 1 out of 5]

Don't bother.

[Ethan Sink · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was fine and somewhat helpful, but I suspect there are other books out there that do this better. Or honestly, there are plenty of apps and websites that will deliver basically the same information.

The information was fine, but I didn’t love the style. It kind of assumed a very low baseline for being a good dad/husband, like helping your wife with things around the house during pregnancy or actually reading up on what to expect counts as going above and beyond. Maybe that does set you apart from a lot of dads, but it should not be so. The tone came off as dated and cringey, like a blogger from 2018 trying to keep dads invested with pop cultural references and bland humor. I think an earnest and sincere tone would have been much better.

There were a few features that were helpful. Each week featured a few items that future/new dads can do to prepare and make life easier. And there was a baby registry list that Beth and I did actually use as a starting point for our registry.

Also, this book goes through the “fourth trimester” until the baby is three months old, so technically I am not late in finishing this. 😉

[Matt · Rating 2 out of 5]

1.5

Really fun to read week by week for the first trimester. Then the rest of the book is “don’t miss your appointments”

Great exercise for getting excited together but falls off pretty hard. I am bummed I got a few of these. But I’ll read them.

Also I recommend once you’re past a few months pregnant - get right to child rearing books. Reading this week by week with a baby that sleeps for 9.5 hours a day sometimes and it says “your baby is sleeping 15-17 hours a day”. Made me want to throat punch the author.

No tips. No how to sooth. Just “your baby is sleeping”. No they aren’t.

Also check out Happiest Baby on the Block for tips on soothing. Worked great for us but took many books to find.

[Ben Bell · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a great resource during my wife's first pregnancy to help me understand what was happening with my wife and our baby every step of the way and also what I should be doing and when.

If you're looking for detailed medical information this wouldn't be for you. This is more of a surface level, easy read. This worked for me since it never felt like a chore to pick it up and read what was happening each week of the pregnancy.

[Patrick · Rating 3 out of 5]

Charming. Held back by a few things: I assume the book was written with an American audience in mind so all measurements have to be mentally translated to real life useful metrics. That’s not a big deal. Planning your 12 minutes of parental leave and a lot of other American things aren’t applicable here in the old world either. Also not a big deal. But every pregnancy is different so a lot of what’s described didn’t materialize, ever. A lot of the general info is good info though.

[Tyler · Rating 3 out of 5]

Our son was born at 32 weeks & this book does nothing to prepare you for premie children.

It was helpful until then, then we no longer could follow the book or the 4th trimester directly as the development of our kid wouldn't directly follow. Our son will probably hit all the 2 month milestones when he's actually around 4 months and so on.

[Alistair McLean · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a gift for me from my wife's friend. It is pretty much idiot proof, easy to read and been invaluable in prepping me for the big day. The insight has given me a better idea of what my wife is going through and what to look after and ask during those important health visits.

[James Jacobelli · Rating 5 out of 5]

Week-by-week, bite-sized information for new dads. It was helpful to help me get oriented to some things my wife was reading to learn about our developing baby. I’ll definitely reread this if we have any more children.

[Jacob Tilmon · Rating 5 out of 5]

My wife and I read this weekly as we have progressed through our pregnancy. It’s been a lovely check in to see where our baby is at and talk about how we are doing. This is evidence based and full of amazing tips. High recommendation for new parents.

[Drake Farr · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent snapshot of info. You should obviously do more research on your own and not solely rely on this book, but this is a great place to get your mind flowing with what you should be doing to be proactive.

[David Chase · Rating 2 out of 5]

It’s very ok. Basically the main advice is be helpful which is obvious. I guess the parts I did like were just having a week to week guide of what was happening but I kinda just felt like it was a weird way to read a book.

[Jonathan Wilhelm · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very much liked the weekly format of information. This is the second best book I have read. Best for someone with a partner that they are still living with and connected to.

[Sumer Hutchins · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was gifted to Kelly but I’ve been reading it too. :)

[Gerry Sacco · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very good book, very helpful.

[Christopher Phillips · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book has some good information, but it seems like it is written for “dumb dads”. A lot of the suggestions seem a little too obvious, and at times it is condescending to mom as well.