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God Just Wanted To Play Golf
When Heaven screws up... All hell breaks loose.
God; omniscient creator, terrible golfer, and disgruntled CEO of Heaven, asks for little in life. He wants nothing more than for his private elevator to be repaired, ten minutes of peace and quiet to eat Girl Scout cookies, and an eighteen-hole round with the recently deceased British Prime Minister. So when a broken database causes his records department to send The Grim Reaper a list of souls not ready for reaping, his once peaceful life quickly begins to unravel.
Furious with Heaven's ineptitude and the problems the disruption is causing his daily routine, The Grim Reaper retaliates with an unprecedented response. He skips the next reaping on his list and as a result, causes an army of bloodthirsty zombie-demons to be unleashed on the peaceful town of Oceanview, Arizona.
After a few days of the apocalypse running unchecked and a rapidly increasing body count, Heaven learns the location of the events occurring below and determines divine intervention is required. When the Oceanview survivors mistakenly kill the angels sent down to help, Heaven has no to choice but to call in the big guns, and God himself is forced to visit Earth for the first time, making an already dire situation much, much worse.
God; omniscient creator, terrible golfer, and disgruntled CEO of Heaven, asks for little in life. He wants nothing more than for his private elevator to be repaired, ten minutes of peace and quiet to eat Girl Scout cookies, and an eighteen-hole round with the recently deceased British Prime Minister. So when a broken database causes his records department to send The Grim Reaper a list of souls not ready for reaping, his once peaceful life quickly begins to unravel.
Furious with Heaven's ineptitude and the problems the disruption is causing his daily routine, The Grim Reaper retaliates with an unprecedented response. He skips the next reaping on his list and as a result, causes an army of bloodthirsty zombie-demons to be unleashed on the peaceful town of Oceanview, Arizona.
After a few days of the apocalypse running unchecked and a rapidly increasing body count, Heaven learns the location of the events occurring below and determines divine intervention is required. When the Oceanview survivors mistakenly kill the angels sent down to help, Heaven has no to choice but to call in the big guns, and God himself is forced to visit Earth for the first time, making an already dire situation much, much worse.
331 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 28, 2018
19 people are currently reading
418 people want to read
About the author
Craig W. Chenery
17 books20 followersCraig W. Chenery is the critically acclaimed and award-winning author of "God Just Wanted To Play Golf". "God Just Wanted To Play Golf", book one in the Oceanview Trilogy was released in 2019 to strong presales and reviews. Reviewers have called it "Shaun of the Dead meets Dogma". Book two, "Lucifer Just Wanted To Pet Kittens" will be released Fall 2022. Craig is currently developing book three, tentatively titled "Death Just Wanted To Eat Waffles". Craig is also working on an as of now untitled sci-fi novel.
Craig has written stories for numerous horror and Steampunk anthologies and horror magazines. His first major release, the award winning "Blood Splatter: A Guide to Cinematic Zombie Violence, Gore and Special Effects", an in depth look at gore in zombie movies, was published in 2012 to rave critical and fan reviews.
In 2014, Craig released "The Comicon and Convention Survival Guide", an insider's look at how to make the most out of attending a convention. Craig has used his many years of convention experiences to deliver the most in depth convention guide to date.
Craig is also a screenwriter, and his first movie "Dr. Saville's Horror Show" will also be released Fall 2022. He is currently working on a new script called "Shadowblade".
Craig also writes comic books and is currently working on three unique projects, "Shadowblade", "Lost Souls" and "Collateral Damage".
For more details on Craig's work, please visit:
www.craigwchenery.com
https://twitter.com/darkhumorauthor
Craig has written stories for numerous horror and Steampunk anthologies and horror magazines. His first major release, the award winning "Blood Splatter: A Guide to Cinematic Zombie Violence, Gore and Special Effects", an in depth look at gore in zombie movies, was published in 2012 to rave critical and fan reviews.
In 2014, Craig released "The Comicon and Convention Survival Guide", an insider's look at how to make the most out of attending a convention. Craig has used his many years of convention experiences to deliver the most in depth convention guide to date.
Craig is also a screenwriter, and his first movie "Dr. Saville's Horror Show" will also be released Fall 2022. He is currently working on a new script called "Shadowblade".
Craig also writes comic books and is currently working on three unique projects, "Shadowblade", "Lost Souls" and "Collateral Damage".
For more details on Craig's work, please visit:
www.craigwchenery.com
https://twitter.com/darkhumorauthor
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
March 26, 2018
This book is awesome. I bought it for Kindle and finished it within three days. It's funny, a bit gory in places, and quite dark. If books that poke fun at religion are not your thing, then you may not like it. If that doesn't bother you and like seeing God with human like traits, you'll love this. Heaven screws up and causes a demon outbreak on the town of Oceanview. The characters are fun and you genuinely care when they die. It's a bit slow to start, but it builds up the characters nicely and gives them background and life. It's not just a series of red shirts being killed off. The dialogue is hilarious and some of the situations are off the wall funny. I'm looking forward to book two!
March 26, 2018
I had the opportunity to read an earlier pre-release draft of this book and at the time I loved it. I know Craig received a lot of feedback from readers. I was hoping the final book didn't change too much, he had one hell of a good story going on. Well, I am pleased to say not only did he not ruin the story, he made it even better. He did an outstanding job. The story is even tighter and the characters are well developed and thought. It's written in such a way that it could be a standalone book or the part of a trilogy. I'm glad he's chosen to go with the trilogy. There's so much more he can explore with the world he has created. Be warned, there is a lot of cursing. The vast major is dialogue and not narrative, so it works considering what the characters are going through.
April 14, 2018
This book is awesome! I was expecting a typical dark humor book that was amusing to read, and this delivered 100% in that department, but also brought SO much more to the table. I found the characters to be interesting, dimensional and very relatable. The story itself goes much deeper than just the amusing humor and vivid descriptions. It's been a while since I read something this hard to put down. I found myself laughing out loud, frantically turning pages, crying and enjoying every page. There were also plenty of pop culture references that made it even more fun! 10/10 would recommend!
April 20, 2018
Two of my favorite authors are Christopher Moore and Terry Pratchett. While this author is not of their status yet, (this is his first book after all), I will say that this is one hell of a debut and has the Moore/Pratchett vibe I love so much. His dialogue is sharp, very clever, and swift. The situations are off the wall funny and absurd. The author states this is the first part of a trilogy, and I hope this is true. So many authors start a series and never both/are capable of/get around to/ or commit to going all the way. He's mentioned work has commenced on his site, so we'll see.
So, back to the book. This was an absolute riot. I'll echo everyone else in that the first act spend time getting to know the characters. Chenery has given the cast significant depth and interesting quirks, faults, traits that makes them human. I loved the town of Oceanview. I noticed one of the lists this had been added to was favorite fictional cities. I can see why. OCeanview is wonderful. Broken as all hell, but wonderful. The real meat of the book comes in the second act when, as the back cover states, all hell breaks loose. As soon as the outbreaks starts, the chaos picks up and doesn't let up until the end. Plans fail, people die, angels die, God curses, more people die... it's fantastic.
As as zombie fan this was right up my alley. While the author calls them zombie-demons, they basically have the traits of zombies. The come back to life, eat the living and torment people.
I really hope book two sees the light of day. It would be a shame to see things end here.
So, back to the book. This was an absolute riot. I'll echo everyone else in that the first act spend time getting to know the characters. Chenery has given the cast significant depth and interesting quirks, faults, traits that makes them human. I loved the town of Oceanview. I noticed one of the lists this had been added to was favorite fictional cities. I can see why. OCeanview is wonderful. Broken as all hell, but wonderful. The real meat of the book comes in the second act when, as the back cover states, all hell breaks loose. As soon as the outbreaks starts, the chaos picks up and doesn't let up until the end. Plans fail, people die, angels die, God curses, more people die... it's fantastic.
As as zombie fan this was right up my alley. While the author calls them zombie-demons, they basically have the traits of zombies. The come back to life, eat the living and torment people.
I really hope book two sees the light of day. It would be a shame to see things end here.
April 5, 2018
OMG, words cannot describe the amazing awesomeness—-the pop culture references, the twists and turns. And the next book sounds even more AWESOMETASTIC! I couldn’t put the book down as Craig weaves the web inside your mind as you are transported into the shoes of each character as they ——-wait sorry no spoilers but it’s comedy/horror/intrigue/action/drama all wrapped up in one of the best books I’ve read in many lifetimes! Sean of the Dead meets Blues Brothers meets Zombie Land—- hope someday soon I see this in the theatre! The first of three books....but once you read this—-you will be screaming for the next book like a zombie craving brains!
April 4, 2018
Having read the other reviews, I think comparing it to Shaun of the Dead is a great starting point. But it goes so much further than that. Imagine if at the end of Shaun, God had to come down and help Shaun deal with the zombies. Now you can see the off the wall scenario the book presents.
Chenery has done a great job creating likable characters, both good and evil, who are thrown into a ridiculous, but highly enjoyable scenario. Sharp dialogue and hysterical situations make this a page turner. The Kindle edition also has a teaser for book two and I can't wait to read it.
Chenery has done a great job creating likable characters, both good and evil, who are thrown into a ridiculous, but highly enjoyable scenario. Sharp dialogue and hysterical situations make this a page turner. The Kindle edition also has a teaser for book two and I can't wait to read it.
April 4, 2018
A delightful book from a delightful author who specializes in all things delight---er, not delightful at all and completely gory, gruesome and blood spattered! Another wonderful tale spun from the wacky, weird and possibly downright questionable mind of Craig W. Chenery--and this is exactly why we love him. In this iteration of Mr. Chenery, we get a break from the gore (a little) and instead receive a visit from the dark, dark comedic sections of his mind and it is wonderful.
December 22, 2020
After reading a few of the reviews for this book I had really high hopes to find a great new author that could tell a really good story while adding enough humor to make me laugh. I've been a big fan of Christopher Moore for years and love those light hearted stories that I can plow through and genuinely make me laugh out loud. Chenery does a good job of this for much of the book, but it does take a while for him to get into his groove. I had a difficult time following much of the beginning of the book and actually put it down for several months because I couldn't find a compelling reason to pick it back up.
The story bounced from character to character and only made you confused as to why you were reading about them and trying to find something endearing about any of them. It also seemed as though there wasn't an editor for this book and the amount of grammatical errors was egregious to say the least. I often found myself having to stop and re-read sentences to omit double words, or to add in verbs that were missing. It was very distracting and messed with the flow of the story.
With all that being said, after I did pick the book back up and got further into the story, I really started to enjoy the book and was glad that I gave it a second chance. There was some pretty imaginative twists that the author came up with to make a unique zombie-demon story and some genuinely funny lines that had me LOLing.
I would love to have given the book another star, but there was just too much sloppiness in the editing and the build up of the plot that I think the author needs to improve on. All-in-all the book was enjoyable and I look forward to Chenery's next book that will hopefully include a few more edits.
The story bounced from character to character and only made you confused as to why you were reading about them and trying to find something endearing about any of them. It also seemed as though there wasn't an editor for this book and the amount of grammatical errors was egregious to say the least. I often found myself having to stop and re-read sentences to omit double words, or to add in verbs that were missing. It was very distracting and messed with the flow of the story.
With all that being said, after I did pick the book back up and got further into the story, I really started to enjoy the book and was glad that I gave it a second chance. There was some pretty imaginative twists that the author came up with to make a unique zombie-demon story and some genuinely funny lines that had me LOLing.
I would love to have given the book another star, but there was just too much sloppiness in the editing and the build up of the plot that I think the author needs to improve on. All-in-all the book was enjoyable and I look forward to Chenery's next book that will hopefully include a few more edits.
April 19, 2018
I loved this book! I'm a huge zombie fan and while the antagonists aren't exactly your typical zombie, having more demon-like tendencies, this sated my zombie thirst. Very fast paced dialogue, great characters and really funny scenarios. This took the whole patient zero thesis and turned it on its head.
April 22, 2021
One of the worst books I've ever read. I couldn't get past the first few chapters before having to throw it away. The humor is not funny, and tries too hard to be something it's not. Stay away from this book like the plague
April 19, 2018
Hysterically funny.
October 16, 2018
Apparently I’m the first person to not give this book the full five star rating, so I thought perhaps in doing so I could add a bit of context for those considering reading it.
First off, I did give it four stars. It was a good book and I did enjoy it. I also realize that this was Mr. Chenery’s first novel, so I gave that consideration as well.
- What did I love? -
The humor in this book hit a really great spot for me. Others have already pointed out that it does poke fun at religion, but I never found that it was mean-spirited, hurtful or over-the-top at any point. It played on common tropes, but did it really well. Craig also humanizes God in a way that is amazing and relate-able. If you’ve ever managed a team, it just rings true with all of the things he is faced with, albeit with some ineptitude and exaggeration.
I felt that the characters were well developed and relate-able. It was an ensemble cast, so you didn’t get that really deep dive, but they were well rounded enough that you felt like they could have been your friend or someone you knew from your hometown. As I mentioned, even God felt like he was someone you knew and could understand his struggles. (He more often than not even sounded a lot like one of my coworkers.)
One of the biggest wins for me was a fresh take on the zombie story. I’m not the most well-versed when it comes to the zombie genre, but it isn’t a new concept to me either. Death skipping a reaping to unleash the “zombie-demons” as opposed to a virus or toxic chemicals just seemed fresh and I really enjoyed that.
- What didn’t work as well for me? -
This is a minor quibble, as I mentioned I enjoyed the book, but the dialogue at times just didn’t seem to flow naturally. It’s hard to describe eloquently, but there were just a few spots in the book that felt a touch clunky. I also have a hard copy of the book and I’m not sure if it was different than the kindle version, but there were some typos and grammatical errors in spots, so perhaps that was the issue more than what was being conveyed.
The balance between Heaven and the people of Oceanview also wasn’t quite what I had hoped for. The two story lines built up nicely, but I didn’t feel like they intertwined in a meaningful way. There was obvious crossover between the two as it was the main plot of the story, but I expected it to become more physically pronounced towards the end. The ending itself was clever in a lot of ways, but it just seemed to resolve things a little too quickly given the magnitude of the problems that were created.
- Final Thoughts -
This was definitely a fun read and I have recommended it to friends. The humor is good, there is a little bit of gore, a lot of cursing, but most importantly it was an interesting take on a genre that has been used a lot. It’s not perfect, but few novels are. To me, having the feeling of wanting more and having things played out in a little more detail is both a criticism and an endorsement. It means that Mr. Chenery created characters and a story I cared about and wanted to be invested in. If you’re on the fence, I would definitely give this book a shot.
First off, I did give it four stars. It was a good book and I did enjoy it. I also realize that this was Mr. Chenery’s first novel, so I gave that consideration as well.
- What did I love? -
The humor in this book hit a really great spot for me. Others have already pointed out that it does poke fun at religion, but I never found that it was mean-spirited, hurtful or over-the-top at any point. It played on common tropes, but did it really well. Craig also humanizes God in a way that is amazing and relate-able. If you’ve ever managed a team, it just rings true with all of the things he is faced with, albeit with some ineptitude and exaggeration.
I felt that the characters were well developed and relate-able. It was an ensemble cast, so you didn’t get that really deep dive, but they were well rounded enough that you felt like they could have been your friend or someone you knew from your hometown. As I mentioned, even God felt like he was someone you knew and could understand his struggles. (He more often than not even sounded a lot like one of my coworkers.)
One of the biggest wins for me was a fresh take on the zombie story. I’m not the most well-versed when it comes to the zombie genre, but it isn’t a new concept to me either. Death skipping a reaping to unleash the “zombie-demons” as opposed to a virus or toxic chemicals just seemed fresh and I really enjoyed that.
- What didn’t work as well for me? -
This is a minor quibble, as I mentioned I enjoyed the book, but the dialogue at times just didn’t seem to flow naturally. It’s hard to describe eloquently, but there were just a few spots in the book that felt a touch clunky. I also have a hard copy of the book and I’m not sure if it was different than the kindle version, but there were some typos and grammatical errors in spots, so perhaps that was the issue more than what was being conveyed.
The balance between Heaven and the people of Oceanview also wasn’t quite what I had hoped for. The two story lines built up nicely, but I didn’t feel like they intertwined in a meaningful way. There was obvious crossover between the two as it was the main plot of the story, but I expected it to become more physically pronounced towards the end. The ending itself was clever in a lot of ways, but it just seemed to resolve things a little too quickly given the magnitude of the problems that were created.
- Final Thoughts -
This was definitely a fun read and I have recommended it to friends. The humor is good, there is a little bit of gore, a lot of cursing, but most importantly it was an interesting take on a genre that has been used a lot. It’s not perfect, but few novels are. To me, having the feeling of wanting more and having things played out in a little more detail is both a criticism and an endorsement. It means that Mr. Chenery created characters and a story I cared about and wanted to be invested in. If you’re on the fence, I would definitely give this book a shot.
December 5, 2022
This book is funny- filled with dark humor and a bit of gore. The characters build up slowly giving you a real feel for them and their life. The dialogue is hilarious! Highly would suggest.
November 12, 2024
Hilarious,
Witty,
and down right gruesome at times!
"God just wanted to play golf" is not for the faint of heart, Zombies? Demons? Zombie Demons?! God, Death and the towns people of Oceanview experience chaos as one man's mistake spirals into an epic catastrophe! Does God ever get to pay golf? Probably not today, definitely not tomorrow! Horror and the undead aside, this was probably one of the most funny books I've read to date!
The characters were on point, each citizen of Oceanview came with their own personalities, problems, drama and story. Chenery did well to paint us a picture about what life in the small town was like for everyone and left us with very little confusing about who was who and why.
Spelling was on point but there a few errors that the editor overlooked; Missed words in a couple sentences, Dialog missing quotation marks in 1 paragraph, a few words accidentally replaced with another... Honestly? Nothing serious that takes the joy away from reading this book!
All in all, this one is getting a 5 star from me because I cannot even begin to recall the last time a book has made me snicker this much!
Witty,
and down right gruesome at times!
"God just wanted to play golf" is not for the faint of heart, Zombies? Demons? Zombie Demons?! God, Death and the towns people of Oceanview experience chaos as one man's mistake spirals into an epic catastrophe! Does God ever get to pay golf? Probably not today, definitely not tomorrow! Horror and the undead aside, this was probably one of the most funny books I've read to date!
The characters were on point, each citizen of Oceanview came with their own personalities, problems, drama and story. Chenery did well to paint us a picture about what life in the small town was like for everyone and left us with very little confusing about who was who and why.
Spelling was on point but there a few errors that the editor overlooked; Missed words in a couple sentences, Dialog missing quotation marks in 1 paragraph, a few words accidentally replaced with another... Honestly? Nothing serious that takes the joy away from reading this book!
All in all, this one is getting a 5 star from me because I cannot even begin to recall the last time a book has made me snicker this much!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 1, 2018
God Just Wanted to Play Golf is great fun. At times irreverent, sometimes gory, and often hilarious, it follows a group of characters from Oceanside, Arizona as they deal with the zombie/demon apocalypse brought on by an error in God’s database. It seems no one in Heaven or Earth can sort out the problem as the town descends into chaos and the infection of the not-quite-dead spreads. Two feuding brothers "lead" the survivors as they try to deal with each other and their former neighbors, who mainly want to eat them. There are some really clever moments and surprises that I don’t want to give away, because you’ll want to read this book too. I’m looking forward to further adventures the author has planned for the survivors of Oceanside.
November 19, 2019
[Disclaimer: I got this book via LibraryThing's Early Reviewer program]
Actually I did not receive the book via the Early Reviewer program (there had been a mismatch); the author was so kind to give me a review copy. The story verges to horror, which is not my cup of tea; luckily it is not heavy horror, so I managed to go through it. I even enjoyed more the second part, the one with the zombie-demons, because it is more fast-paced; I think that the first chapters should have been trimmed, since they are quite slow; it took me a while to read that section. I liked the idea of a bureaucratic afterlife where God (Gary O'Donnell) is a CEO for the Christian part of the Earth and who is not really interested in what happens to His flock, either live or dead; also Death (Steve), who got crossed because he started receiving bugged lists of dying people and decides to see what happens if he skips one, is nice. Probably the Heaven should have been depicted a bit more in detail, instead of writing a lot about Oceanview, AZ, where many characters remain unidimensional. So, don't get scared by the beginning and go through the book!
Actually I did not receive the book via the Early Reviewer program (there had been a mismatch); the author was so kind to give me a review copy. The story verges to horror, which is not my cup of tea; luckily it is not heavy horror, so I managed to go through it. I even enjoyed more the second part, the one with the zombie-demons, because it is more fast-paced; I think that the first chapters should have been trimmed, since they are quite slow; it took me a while to read that section. I liked the idea of a bureaucratic afterlife where God (Gary O'Donnell) is a CEO for the Christian part of the Earth and who is not really interested in what happens to His flock, either live or dead; also Death (Steve), who got crossed because he started receiving bugged lists of dying people and decides to see what happens if he skips one, is nice. Probably the Heaven should have been depicted a bit more in detail, instead of writing a lot about Oceanview, AZ, where many characters remain unidimensional. So, don't get scared by the beginning and go through the book!
December 31, 2019
Letto (e comprato) perché scovato per caso su GR.
Non avevo grandi aspettative e invece mi sono divertita un sacco: spunto originale, ritmo incalzante e una manciata di personaggi per i quali fare il tifo.
La lettura in inglese non è particolarmente difficile.
Conclusa la lettura si ha voglia di vedere Dawn of the Dead.
Read (and bought) because I discovered it on GR.
I didn't have great expectations and I was wrong. I really enjoyed it: original plot, great rhythm and some good characters to root for.
The reading in English is quite simple.
When the book is over you want to watch Dawn of the Dead.
Non avevo grandi aspettative e invece mi sono divertita un sacco: spunto originale, ritmo incalzante e una manciata di personaggi per i quali fare il tifo.
La lettura in inglese non è particolarmente difficile.
Conclusa la lettura si ha voglia di vedere Dawn of the Dead.
Read (and bought) because I discovered it on GR.
I didn't have great expectations and I was wrong. I really enjoyed it: original plot, great rhythm and some good characters to root for.
The reading in English is quite simple.
When the book is over you want to watch Dawn of the Dead.
June 13, 2019
i was curious about this book as the author is a friend of mine who has a great sense of humor with a dash of darkness .. so, i read it.
i couldn’t put it down and i believe i read it in 3 days. it was quite comical yet it still made you believe that god really does exist and would prefer to play golf instead of providing what he needs to do.
all in all, this was a fantastic book and i look forward to more from this author.
cheers!
i couldn’t put it down and i believe i read it in 3 days. it was quite comical yet it still made you believe that god really does exist and would prefer to play golf instead of providing what he needs to do.
all in all, this was a fantastic book and i look forward to more from this author.
cheers!
September 29, 2020
This has got to be the funniest book I have ever read! All of the characters are outstanding. Everyone in this Tory has a potty mouth but it just fits. I am sorry that it ended. In fact, if the second book in this series doesn’t come out soon I will reread this book. With all of the craziness going on in the world today this has got to be the very best take me away from all this. Grab this book people and laugh your head off!
November 20, 2019
Interesting story and a complete departure from my usual read. The premise was great, but the zombie-demon story went on too long.
September 12, 2020
Extremely funny and dark humor book. A must read!!!
April 22, 2021
I tried to like this book, but it fell flat for me. Very confusing in the first few chapters
May 27, 2021
Excellent!
Funny, dark, well written and compelling. I'm chomping at the bit for the sequel.
Funny, dark, well written and compelling. I'm chomping at the bit for the sequel.
December 15, 2022
From start to finish loved this book! Great build up, great story!! Highly recommend!!
January 7, 2024
God's name is Gary and he just wanted to go play golf. A tiny IT issue starts an apocalypse and shit gets real. This book was so funny with bouts of wisdom thrown in. Totally recommend!
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews