I have had chemical sensitivities, food sensitivities, and mental issues since I was born. They stalked me growing up. They only got worse. At 12 years old and at one of my lowest points, I decided I needed change. Doctors left me without answers. I vomited almost everyday. I had asthma. I had no energy. I kept repeatedly going into hypoglycemia without being aware of it. I would black out and thankfully sleep it off. I did research and started to learn what my body needed in terms of diet. It was my new found love. I felt great. In 2014, I participated in a construction project. My asthma returned. My body slowly began to spiral out of control. I tried naturopathy and homeopathy. I panicked. I was mad. I felt betrayed by my body. I did learn how a lot of the chemicals and products we are exposed to are harmful to our bodies. I made changes.
Still...I only got worse. I wasn't sleeping. I fell into a bad mental health relapse. I was losing it. I started to have head splitting migraines. Something had to stop.
It was everything around me and my attitude toward it and myself. I even started to wear a mask, which was embarassing. The masks were not enough. I had to stop being around people and going out in public. I did. It all faded. The migraines and asthma. Within a few months, I gained my sanity back. I was lost and in denial. I felt so much better, but I was frustrated. I decided to start listening to my body and what it needed. The shock. My closet had to be cleaned out. I remember sleeping on the floor. Everything changed. I felt like everything went from everything to nothing so fast. I felt better, but it was emotionally and mentally draining. I went to an Iridologist who asked me about trauma. I am a very reserved person, who does not like emotions. I wanted to cry, but I brushed it off. I denied it, even with myself. It rocked me and stayed at the back of my mind. I had learned muscle testing and used it everyday with all my food and anything I bought. I was still having issues with foods. I would be fine one day, then suddenly, it was like my body was trying to kill me. My parents went away on a trip. I was home with my brothers. I had a splitting migraine after lunch that day. I could barely function by the end of the day. I went to bed at about eight. (I usually go to bed at around 10.) I lied in bed. I remember my head hurting so bad and feeling cold. My body felt numb. I started to have convulsions. I wanted to call an ambulance, but I couldn't say anything. I thought I was going to die. It was the most painful thing I have ever experienced in my whole life. I knew something was missing, I just couldn't figure out what. It drove me crazy. I would have days where I could only eat eggs. I couldn't drink water some days. I would sit at the toilet feeling so sick and ready to die. I wanted to change. I had my reasons to live, but I didn't even care anymore. I needed to change my mind. My body was using these as signals that I needed change.
I was barely able to eat and I kept testing for energy blockages. I was confused. After doing research and reading articles about the healing mindset, I ran into Amy Scher. I learned about EFT on her website. It was worth a try. I felt amazing after I first did it. I continued doing it and my body began to some accept foods. I felt like I was learning to let go of the things that hurt me. I struck something. Everyone has always thought I am crazy. I am, I have always loved it. I needed this book. I am very familiar with energy medicine. I used muscle testing in my everyday life before reading this book. A lot of people say energy medicine is fishy and unexplainable, at least that is a common attitude about it. I had my own theories and ideas about it. (Although some methods of energy medicine I don't support.) This book put it into the words I could never say clearly to people. Of course, people will still choose to reject and not understand it, but oh well. As of writing this, I have been using these methods for a about a week. My mindset has fully shifted. I have had my moments, and I'm dealing with these stress responses with food. A new food makes me sick everyday, but thankfully after the day, I am fine with them. I have been able to eat cabbage, which I couldn't eat before.
As a 2 year invalid, I will say this. To you who is sick in any aspect of your life: You have an amazing opportunity. Something that not everyone chooses to experience. Healing. It is beautiful. It is a beautiful journey. Something that will shape you into something beautiful and will continue throughout your whole life. People will ignore you, hate you, and look down on you. But that doesn't mean you have to look down on you. You don't have to let this pain control you. But you do have to choose to heal.
I have earned my hope back. I will have my ups and downs. I don't know what lies ahead, but I know in the end it will be beautiful.