How to Not Always Be Working: A Toolkit for Creativity and Radical Self-Care

by Cody Cook-Parrott

This book is a quiet revolution, a guide filled with practical advice to help you curb your obsessions and build boundaries between your work, your job, and your life. From business anecdotes about fulfilling orders to more personal stories about Marlee Grace's recovery from divorce and addiction, this book is full of wisdom and resilience, with plenty of discussion about ritual and routine as ways to create effective and positive creative life change.

In her workshops on healing and creative process, Grace helps people acknowledge their blocks and address them by setting distinct parameters that change their behavior. Now, she brings her methods and ideas to the wider world, offering all of us concrete ways to break free from our devices and focus on what's really important-our own aliveness.

Part workbook, part advice manual, part love letter, How to Not Always Be Working ventures into the space where phone meets life, helping readers to define their work-what they do out of sense of purpose; their job-what they do to make money; and their breaks-what they do to recharge, and to feel connected to themselves and the people who matter to them. Grace addresses complex issues such as what to do if your work and your job are connected, provides insights to help you figure out how much is too much, and offers suggestions for making the best use of your time.

Essential for everyone who feels overwhelmed and anxious about our hyper-connected world-whether you're a corporate lawyer, a student, a sales person, or a yoga instructor-How to Not Always Be Working includes practical suggestions and thoughtful musings that prompt you to honestly examine your behavior-how you burn yourself out and why you're doing it. A creative manifesto for living better, it shows you how to carve sacred space in your life.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Audiobook, Personal Development, Business, Mental Health, How To

103 pages, Paperback

First published October 23, 2018

About the author

Cody Cook-Parrott is an artist, writer, and movement practitioner living on the Leelanau Peninsula in Northern Michigan. They write the weekly newsletter Monday Monday and host the writing group Landscapes. They are the author of six books, including The Practice of Attention out March 2026 with Sounds True.

Reviews

[Sally Kuchar · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think the whole point of this book is to turn your phone off and get really into tea.

[Cindy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book to be quite charming, because it doesn't hoist itself to be grander than it actually is. It's a simple, quiet manifestofor workaholics looking to practice self-discipline and self-care. I usually rate 2 or 3 stars to self-help books that have "fluffy" writing and slant towards hippie-dippy sentiments, but I found the author's conversational writing style to be endearing and humble, and liked her calm outlook on life. The book isn't life-changing, but it's simple and sweet and a nice reminder to slow down every once in a while. I was also impressed by her note that she was speaking from a place of privilege as a white, able-bodied woman — these privileges are not often addressed in self-help books, and I appreciate her efforts to be as inclusive and economically considerate as possible.

[Kendra · Rating 2 out of 5]

The first book I'm starting in 2019, with intention. 2018 was a tremendous year for me, but I almost crashlanded, mentally and emotionally, around Christmas because of an addiction to work -- to being, as I proudly called myself, "an aggressively productive person." I would like to do so much in 2019, but first and foremost, get better at self-care. Here's to good intentions. xx

-- Update --

I bought this book as an act of self-care, and ultimately I think the act of buying it -- and seeing it 'round the house, a beautiful little cream-rose-hued, Instagrammable reminder that I had committed to healing -- was more helpful than the book itself. Much of the content is far too personal and specific to be widely applicable as self-help. For instance, the title chapter (& reason I bought the book), "How to Not Always Be Working," basically runs, "Ha ha, I don't know, it's hard!" before hunkering down to mull over the 29-year-old author's key dilemma -- that she's got an issue with phone addiction and has built a career around being on Instagram. The entire chapter is about Grace's efforts to curb her phone habits -- a very specific and, unfortunately, not especially helpful guide to not always being working for the rest of us.

Grace had lovely intentions with this little tome, I think, but ultimately had too much difficulty zooming out from her own experience to be much use. I expected a bit more, and was disappointed.

[Jason Pettus · Rating 2 out of 5]

Like many Americans, a few weeks ago I finally had just a complete and total burnout breakdown due to seven unrelenting months of the pandemic, and am now trying to figure out how to survive a life of at-home freelance work at a time when I sometimes don't seem to have the mental energy anymore even to properly bathe and feed myself, much less put in the 60 hours a week now needed to properly compete against the tens of millions of laid-off office workers who have all become freelancers themselves this year. Unfortunately, though, Marlee Grace's How to Not Always Be Working turned out to not be a refreshing and useful philosophical guide to the subject, like I thought when I first read its synopsis and put it on reserve at my neighborhood public library; it's instead one of those tiny little cutesy padded-out point-of-sale books you see next to the cash registers at Barnes & Noble, the kind that no one ever actually buys for themselves, but rather becomes the delightful little birthday gift forever exchanged between friends until eventually everyone has ended up owning it and yet no one has actually sat down and read it. (And to further emphasize this, it was published by an imprint of William Morrow called [and I kid you not] "Morrow Gift.")

Like most of these types of books, the vast majority of the page count actually consists of blank pages with ruled lines, where you're supposed to write down answers to the facile questions Grace asks ("What is your nighttime ritual? What are five things you're grateful for?"). And like most of these types of books, the little actual advice seen here tends to only be helpful to her fellow middle-aged, middle-class, New Age-obsessed suburban women ("Do a little dance in public! Put healing crystals around your work space!"). And like most of these types of books, Grace without a trace of irony urges you to even further embrace consumerism as a way of combating consumerism, which I suppose is exactly what you get when you buy a point-of-sale book designed for middle-class suburbanites that attempts to spout philosophy in Instagram-sized bites. ("Here's a $10 app for your phone that helps you use your phone less!" OH ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING WITH THIS SHIT?) Normally I would not go off so badly on a little nothing book that realizes it's a little nothing book, and isn't trying to be anything other than a little nothing book; but after mistakenly thinking that it was an actual substantial guide to using mindfulness and philosophy in order to effectively combat burnout, a book I could desperately use right now, to finally pick it up and discover its true listicle nature was both heartbreaking and infuriating. If you know of an actual useful book on this subject, I encourage you to let me know in the comments below; but whatever the case, you should avoid this one altogether.

[Mary · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book could've been condensed into a 10 page magazine article at best.

[Caitlin · Rating 2 out of 5]

That was pretty disappointing. A few nice pieces, but mostly it was trite and/or bullshit.

[Allyson Shaw · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book isn’t really a “toolkit” nor a guide to organising and conceptualising work for creatives. I was my fault in thinking the book would really get into this beyond mere list making. I’ll admit I didn’t realise this was a “gift book” format as I purchased it on the internet before reading reviews. It’s pretty thin on terms of content. Again, my bad. I came of age and spent most of my working life before the advent of cellphones so about 80% of this book (amounting to basically “turn off your phone”) isn’t relevant. I already do most of my working and living without my phone. I guess I can feel if that I’m one step ahead! Crone wisdom in effect. I also know how to make tea, so yeah. Maybe I would have liked this book better as a zine, which apparently was its first manifestation- at least it would have made me wistful for the old DIY days.

[Tara · Rating 3 out of 5]

"When I am on the Q train, when I am in the shower lathering my pits, when I’m arguing with my partner about whose turn it is to change the cat’s litter, unfortunately/fortunately the poem is always right there, waiting for me to notice it." --Angel Nafis, from How to Not Always Be Working

Maybe my hopes were a little too high for this book. Or maybe I'm at a different stage in my struggle with the work/life balance. I wanted this book to be a revelation, but instead I found a confirmation--yes, it's hard to figure out work and life and all the things. Phones are confusing. Rest is good.

I wanted to dig deep into the questions of work vs. calling vs. job and found those categories stayed fairly grey for me.  I found myself really only using the book to look at the creative work I do, which is fine -- but as I've aged, I've come to understand my work life is an entire ecosystem--the money job feeds into the creative work. And so, in some ways, when looking at "my work" it's also about whether or not I'm learning Go or attending programmer conferences. I wanted more nuanced, all-encompassing tools. 

The book doesn't quite choose if it's a personal story or self-help, and I think ends up muddled because of it.

[Kade · Rating 1 out of 5]

I saw this book and thought it could help me navigate a long-standing problem. As the father of 3 children under 4, the sole breadwinner for my family, and a graduate student, I often have trouble putting all the various work aside to just play with my children for a little while. Unfortunately, though I noted the author of this book was a woman, I forgot to take into account the state of the average American woman. If you are are a woman on psychotropic medication, plagued with anxiety and consider yourself "always working" because you post photos from your frequent vacations to instagram, this book is probably for you. If you are a blue-collar man who works hard physically all day only to come home and work more, this book is not for you.

[Katy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Okay, here’s my brutally honest review- I liked this book, it has some good advice and was put together in a thoughtful, intentional way. I like almost anyone who starts a book off by saying how much they love adrienne maree brown- girl, same.

BUT knowing this started as a zine and was reworked into a book, I have a strong suspicion that I would have preferred the zine. I luckily read this as a library book but if I had paid the $21+tax for this little slip of a book (under 100 pages and that includes lots of blank lines for the reader to write in)- I would have been salty. Worth a borrow!

[Ami · Rating 4 out of 5]

A short simple book for those who are so consumed by works and for those who spend too much time on the screen. A book calling to switch off and bring attention to yourself, to yourself a rest. The book can be taken as a tool kit to achieve that. It has a set of challenges which you can give yourself. It is a practical handy book to challenge yourself to some good times with yourself and others. The aurhor has written the book with experience.

If you love your work so much, you have to take sometime off it. "It needs space too".

[Crystal Claire · Rating 2 out of 5]

At best it read like an onion article about a millennial small business owner.

Don’t buy this book and if you feel compelled to read it borrow or steal it.

[Lisastrawberry · Rating 4 out of 5]

Easy enough to read and follow-- more subtle hints and ideas than you might expect from a book with this title. I liked it.

[Doug · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was not by plan that I read this soon after finishing How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy, but it certainly worked well as a companion piece. Both books spend a lot of time emphasizing the value of disconnecting with our screens and connecting with ourselves and our immediate environment. Instead of essays and ruminations on society and history, Grace's book offers, as the title hints at, more of a workshop format where you are presented with series of exercises designed to make you stop, think, and analyze your day-to-day life in terms of what is essential and what is not. I think the book imagines its audience more as the self-employed or creative crowd when it gets into the details of organizing your day and your habits in a way to clearly separate work and personal life, but I imagine there are many people right now who, like me, have lost that clear boundary as a result of stay-at-home orders and could use some guidance in that area.

[Jasmine]

this was nice. I liked the initial questions where the reader has to ponder what they count as "work." I read a lot of self-help books, so there wasn't a whole lot of totally new material for me. I did appreciate the perspective of a queer woman and the focus on art. I was going to say it was just okay for me but I apparently sat in certified Bus Juice (TM) while reading and didn't notice until my s/o pointed out the stain on my derrerie, so I think that engrossing quality is high praise.

[Samantha Martin · Rating 2 out of 5]

Fond of this book because it reminded me to put down the phone and prioritize the things that makes me happy in the new year. It’s like the magazine version of the book I wanted to read, but it’s a start.

[Vanessa · Rating 1 out of 5]

Respectfully, If I could give this no stars I would. I found this book to be extremely redundant and full of information that could be found through a simple Google search on how to best stay productive. Moral of the story: Get off your phone. (I mean what a concept)

[Anaïs · Rating 2 out of 5]

finding out this started as a zine makes sense and honestly it was probably more effective as one.

[Sulagna Ghosh · Rating 3 out of 5]

Marlee Grace's books reads as a long and meaningful conversation with your best friend on life and how to navigate the perilous arena of work–life balance. I particularly liked how she acknowledges her position as a privileged cisgender, able-bodied woman in the Introduction. This distinction might seem subtle to many but it really does matter. This book really inspires you to be more mindful of the way in which you engage with the world and the time and effort that you put into things that demand your attention.

[Ruby · Rating 3 out of 5]

a bit wishy washy but I did like it, gave me space to think and properly consider my practice, work and what is not work in a way I need to further explore. Probably counter productive reading this on my phone when it’s so much about how to detox from phones x oops

[Annie Fillenwarth]

I really enjoyed this book, and I'm planning on using it and the exercises I filled out as I try to reevaluate my priorities. It could get a little hippie-dippy for my taste, but that was also an exercise in not having judgment be my natural instinct. The book functions mostly as a way to encourage the reader to slow down and to take the time to think about their lives and their work. A lot of good advice in here that I think a lot of us really need!

[Emily Hampton · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love a book with worksheets and/or journal prompts. The writing style was a little too scattered for me sometimes, but I know it was part of her conversational style. The book gave me a lot of things to think about, and I think it’s worth a read if you ever think to yourself, on your way to work, “This again? Is this all there is?”

[Danielle · Rating 1 out of 5]

To be fair, I definitely wasn’t the intended audience for this book (I’m not a creative by trade or or in practice) and I think it would have been a different experience if I treated it more like a workbook. But as an audiobook this was not my cup of tea, learned nothing though it did prompt some brief reflection. Very short though which was great!

[Kama · Rating 1 out of 5]

The book and author were annoying. It felt like work to plod through it.

[Melissa · Rating 1 out of 5]

No.
A lifestyle guide from a 20something is adorable
And if this is how people really relate to "work" I'm ------ well. It's not my lifestyle whatsoever.

[Petr Olmer · Rating 1 out of 5]

Radical self-care = turn off your phone and drink herbal tea.

"People use Pinterest. I always forget about Pinterest, and then I remember."

[Becca Grischow · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautiful prose. Intentional in including a variety of diverse voices to speak to different types of workers. The exercises that accompany this book turn this from a delightful podcast episode into an interactive, change-making experience rather than an easily ignored article with information let to rot in your memory without putting into action. While I cannot subscribe to the same spirituality that Grace puts forth in this book (tarot cards, holding crystals, etc.) the dedicated practice of grounding oneself behind the practices she discusses is not limited.

Many helpful tasks. Some 'get off your phone' redundancy, but offers new ideas that I have not yet heard before. Also, rooted in the 'noticing not judging' mindset, which I love!

[Sarah Frey · Rating 5 out of 5]

This has been another case of having exactly what you need to hear, fall into your lap at exactly the right time.

This book shared lessons I deeply needed to hear. For someone who is passionate, high energy, motivated, and just in love with making and working - these lessons challenge you to step back and find balance. Because that's what it comes down to: balance.

I don't think there will ever be a time in my life where I'd be happy with just one job, but I also know that I need to practice the radical self-care in order to allow me to do that work.

Thoroughly touching and important read.

[Tess Malone · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is like the final breath in a yoga class when the teacher implores you to let it all out. You’re done working. Did you get what you wanted from this practice?

This isn’t a deeply researched explanation on why we are burned out. It’s not a self-help book. It’s a meditation, reflection, a noticing. What I like best about it is Marlee doesn’t pretend to have any answers. She doesn’t condemn work; she just wants you to be more mindful of its role in your life.

Read this book in a sitting with your favorite beverage. Do the worksheets. Pick it up again. There’s nothing I haven’t heard in this book before, but some of the ways she asks you to reflect can be transformative if you let it wash over you.

[Bri Miller · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very down to Earth way of seeing work-life balance and receiving advice that are guiding you instead of telling you what to do.
If you are looking for a gentler and more mindful, holistic approach to create work-life balance then this mini magic book is for you.

P.S. If you are looking for a blueprint to follow and be told what to do, and even how to do it then you might need to go to your boss or your parents. You are not going to agree or like this book. And it is okay.