Home before Morning: The Story of an Army Nurse in Vietnam

by Lynda Van Devanter

Lynda Van Devanter was the girl next door, the cheerleader who went to Catholic schools, enjoyed sports, and got along well with her four sisters and parents. After high school she attended nursing school and then did something that would shatter her secure world for the rest of her life: in 1969, she joined the army and was shipped to Vietnam. When she arrived in Vietnam her idealistic view of the war vanished quickly. She worked long and arduous hours in cramped, ill-equipped, understaffed operating rooms. She saw friends die. Witnessing a war close-up, operating on soldiers and civilians whose injuries were catastrophic, she found the very foundations of her thinking changing daily.

After one traumatic year, she came home, a Vietnam veteran. Coming home was nearly as devastating as the time she spent in Asia. Nothing was the same -- including Lynda herself. Viewed by many as a murderer instead of a healer, she felt isolated and angry. The anger turned to depression; like many other Vietnam veterans she suffered from delayed stress syndrome. Working in hospitals brought back chilling scenes of hopelessly wounded soldiers. A marriage ended in divorce. The war that was fought physically halfway around the world had become a personal, internal battle.

Home before Morning is the story of a woman whose courage, stamina, and personal history make this a compelling autobiography. It is also the saga of others who went to war to aid the wounded and came back wounded -- physically and emotionally -- themselves. And, it is the true story of one person's triumphs: her understanding of, and coming to terms with, her destiny.

Genres: Nonfiction, History, Memoir, War, Audiobook, Biography, Military Fiction

336 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 1983

About the author

Lynda Van Devanter was one of thousands of American women who served as nurses in Vietnam during the war. Like many of these other women, she worked grueling shifts in a poorly equipped hospital and treated horrible wounds. Upon returning to the United States, she struggled with feelings of anger, depression, and hopelessness with little support from either the U.S. government or American society. In fact, she found that women veterans were even more isolated than their male peers. Determined to help other women in the same situation, Van Devanter founded the Vietnam Veterans of America Women's Project in 1980. She also wrote a book about her experiences, Home before Morning, which brought national attention to the contributions of women veterans.

Reviews

[Vanessa M. (semi-hiatus) · Rating 5 out of 5]

After reading Kristin Hannah's novel The Women, I craved reading a real-life Vietnam Veteran's experience as a nurse during the war. Hannah referenced Lynda Van Devanter's book in her own books' after notes and I eagerly awaited my turn at the library.

Lynda Van Devanter answered the country's patriotic call to go to war in Vietnam. She felt with her skills and training that she was making a real difference at the 71st Evacuation Hospital in Pleiku province. During her one year tour she helped to put back together young American men who were brutally injured and maimed. She helped the Vietnamese people too-- soldiers, officers, and civilians. Too many men, women, and children died. Did they die needlessly? Ms. Van Devanter questioned the United States' role in this war and she became disillusioned with what was happening.

When she returned stateside Ms. Van Devanter suffered the abuses and lack of a welcome home from her fellow Americans. She was despised and hated for being a veteran of war, not respected as a hero like the WWII veterans were. Couple this with women in the Army at the time lacking much-needed VA services and the result is a broken young woman who is clearly to us suffering with PTSD and having no where to turn for help.

Van Devanter attempts to live as normal life as possible, using her nursing skills to perform great life-saving operating room and dialysis work with patents. She suffers great periods of debilitating depression that affects all aspects of her life.

In the early 1980s Van Devanter connects with the Vietnam Veteran's of America (VVA) association and also founds the Vietnam Veterans of America Women's Project. She was able to perform essential advocacy work that helped many men and women vets to receive much needed counseling and medical services. Her work helped to turn the American opinions from an unpopular war to giving respect and honor to those who served.

This book is one of the best that I've read thus far this year. It's raw. It's real. It's a great companion read to The Women in my humble opinion.

[Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Through the mirror of my mind,
through all these tears that I'm crying,
reflects a hurt I can't control . . ."
-- "Reflections" by the Supremes, 1967

For those that remember the great TV series China Beach (1988-1991) - notable as one of the first weekly shows in America to finally depict the divisive Vietnam conflict - here is the memoir which supposedly served as an inspiration to the production staff. Of course, it's much more graphic than a network show could be (at least at that time), and that is certainly a strength of this excellent book.

Devanter was a Baby Boomer, growing up in suburban Virginia just outside of Washington, D.C. in a typical nuclear family with patriotic parents who had lived through the Great Depression and WWII. Stirred as a teenager by JFK's inaugural address and his New Frontier ideals, Devanter trained as a nurse and then joined the U.S. Army in her early 20's. She was quickly shipped to '71st Evac' (the busy 71st Evacuation Hospital in the Pleiku Province of central Vietnam) where she spent her tour in 1969-1970 as a surgical nurse, performing jill-of-all-trades work on an ceaseless line of wounded and maimed military personnel. She details her work and experiences with both humor and horror - although not on the front line of combat as a soldier, the position was still a very stressful and dangerous one - but her story doesn't end once she arrives home to the relative safety of the U.S.

After being spit on and verbally abused by protestors outside of San Francisco International Airport - an ominous moment upon being shipped home - Devanter spends the next decade suffering from PTSD (mood swings, nightmares, flashbacks). Of course, it places great strain on her subsequent employment, her family relations and her marriage, but eventually she meets an effective counselor and joins a veterans' group. I appreciate her needed service to this country during the 'unpopular war,' and it was a relief when she found some inner peace. I'm glad she shared her story with us.

[Evan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just re-read this book after having read it for a seminar class on America in 1960's almost 20 years ago. This book is easily the most powerful Vietnam memoir I have ever read.

[Maryclaire · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't say how sorry I am that I didn't read this book 20 years ago when everybody was coming home from Nam and I was in my own world. I have a great appreciation for all Vets, men and women who are in any war area. I found this book on display at Arlington Cemetery in the WOMENS building. My daughter pointed out that day after reading the displays that the women didn't receive the same benefits as the men. Then I had to read this book. It sure is an eye opener to what they had to endure during deployment. The lack of respect when they came home and that nobody cared about them. Their lives had changed, along with their old friends, family and jobs. If you know if anybody who was in Nam and they experienced trama, drinking, drugs and nightmares please read this book.

[Paul Hamilton · Rating 4 out of 5]

My wife has been pestering me to pick up Lynda Van Devanter's memoir of serving as a nurse in the Vietnam War for years. The thing is, I don't really like memoirs all that much. Too often they spend a third or more of the book going over the kinds of "start at the beginning" backstories which don't really add as much to the framing of the meat as the authors think. This is especially true of stories where either childhoods were especially harsh and difficult (nearly always highlighted in tales of survival as the place the narrator learned how to never give up) or were more or less idyllic (usually setting up a grand disappointment or disenfranchisement later). It's rarely as simple as these narrative devices let on and they just sort of bore me, especially since I usually only care about the hook of a memoir, something the author can describe that I've not heard about before. I've heard plenty of stories of happy and sad childhoods. Spare me.

Home Before Morning isn't exempt from this memoir-itis, relying on the idyllic childhood context to contrast the horrors of war and show how the oppressive futility of trying to piece dying soldiers back together shattered her once peaceful little existence. Whatever else you may say about the meat of the book and the skillfulness of its crafting, the basic premise is hardly novel. That doesn't make it bad, I suppose, it just makes it familiar. I guess it's difficult to look at a book about a naive Catholic nursing student volunteering for a tour of duty from my lofty 21st century ivory tower, decorated as it is with all the dissecting literature, film and coursework of the past forty years and not say, "Well, jeez. What did you expect, lady?"

Still, Van Devanter managed to make a slow but effective incision in my post-irony viewpoint and drag me back to a time when patriotism wasn't just a jest adopted by people to serve a political purpose, when ideals weren't viewed with cynicism and suspicion wrought from too many disappointing years under questionable leadership. Home Before Morning shows, in a way, the birth of all that, chronicling at its best moments the death not of an individual's innocence, but of a nation's.

Some of Home Before Morning doesn't completely work. The last third of the book is devoted to Van Devanter's return to the States, chronicling her disenchantment with what she (and other vets) termed "The World." The World was unhappy with the war and for the most part shamefully took it out on the soldiers who, as Van Devanter points out, largely were as opposed to it as those who hadn't gone into the service. Some of this section is powerful, riveting and insightful but parts of it drag a bit as she describes Post Traumatic Stress Disorder faithfully but without near as much passion and impact as her tales from the one year in the 71st Evac. The choices of what to skim past (her marriage) and what to bog down in detail (her stint as a dialysis nurse) and mostly what to try to weave as a narrative thread aren't always the best. A key example for this is the recurring theme of the question that continues to plague her throughout the war and the aftermath: Why? For as often as Van Devanter asks the question, she never makes any serious attempt to answer it, even when some thoughtful introspection about it would be deeply appropriate like in the epilogue where she describes her return to Vietnam in 1982.

A couple of places where Home Before Morning really shines is in its depiction of the horrors of war through the lens not of the hyper-masculine killing machines in the infantry units (I'm thinking of works like Apocalypse Now and Full Metal Jacket), but through the eyes of the sort of ironically necessary medical personnel who have to be on hand to try and undo the work of the warring soldiers on both sides. For some reason the idea that the trauma of war would seep into the lives of medics never really occurred to me, as if treating wounded soldiers was no more traumatic for hospital staff than the doctors and nurses working in a Stateside facility in a particularly violent neighborhood. I'm grateful to the book for giving me a different perspective, one that extends to all emergency medical personnel.

One thing I wish Home Before Morning had was a follow-up; the book's narrative stops in 1982 and I had to go online to find that she eventually re-married, had a daughter and passed away in 2002 and spent a lot of the years between the publication of the book and her death serving as a spokesperson for women veterans and that this book was in part the inspiration for the television series China Beach. Obviously that's not the kind of thing that would appear in this book, but I was interested enough in the tale, and in Van Devanter herself, to want more when it was over. I guess that says something in itself.

[Sandy · Rating 4 out of 5]

thank you, Lynda, for writing this brutally frank and difficult book. It has been 40 years+ since the Vietnam War ended. I was just a child... protesting like so many millions of others against an unjust and undeclared war... and hating returning soldiers... not 'spitting' as she experienced, but vocally agreeing with those who did... seeing all of them as 'baby-killers' and personally responsible for Mai Lai.. I have long since acknowledged how wrong I was in that regard, how unjust and downright horrible that particular anti-war behaviour was... And I am very moved and saddened to read of your experience Lynda... your pain, heart-ache, your unrecognized, unacknowledged and un-legitimized PTSD and the hell you experienced - you and virtually every young man and woman (not to mention Vietnamese citizen) who went through during those awful years. Thank you. For your efforts in the operating room, for your compassion, for writing this book. I am passing it along to a freind whose husband is a vet and still, after 50 years, experienceing the hell of Vietnam in his nightmares and untreated (still!!) PTSD.

[Sue Allen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a difficult one. It’s the real version of The Women. Hearing about the Vietnam war was a little too graphic at times. Linda depicts her service as a nurse and it was gory and gross at times. The way she was treated upon coming back to the United States was despicable. I was shocked to hear that even the people who loved her really weren’t open to hearing about her experiences in the war. She worked hard to eventually start programs for women in the war and to help them with PTSD.

[Paula Dembeck · Rating 4 out of 5]

This memoir, written by an American nurse who served with the United States army for a year during the Vietnam War, chronicles her experience and the devastating effect it had on her sense of patriotic duty, her personal health and her future after she arrived home.

The beginning section of the book details DeVanter’s life growing up in a suburban Washington DC home with four sisters in a Catholic family. She obtained her diploma at the Mercy Hospital School of Nursing in 1968 and towards the end of her training attended a presentation on nursing in Vietnam. She and her girlfriend signed up for a year, determined to fulfil their patriotic duty to their country and take care of the young men injured in the fighting. She completed basic training at an army base in Texas in 1969 and traveled to Vietnam where she served a year as a surgical nurse in an evacuation hospital in a combat heavy province called Pleiku. Over that year her perception of the war was dramatically changed. She no longer saw the war as American’s fight for democracy, but as a senseless massacre of young American men and an unwanted, unwelcome intrusion into the lives of the Vietnamese people.

DeVanter describes her experience as an idealistic young nurse, dropped into the hellhole of a hospital near the dangerous Cambodian border with an endless stream of bodies of young men blown apart on the battle field. She presents it in graphic detail, describing the constant flow of blood, the endless gore, the earth-shattering noise, the ever-present fatigue and the fear they themselves could be hit at any time, all producing an acutely stressful environment. Nurses and physicians used alcohol, drugs and sex to ease the horror of what they saw in the operating room and the trauma and confusion that constantly surrounded them. DeVanter’s experience of nursing a young boy whose face had been blown away, is an image that still haunted her years after she returned home. She describes incidents of euthanasia, the smell of decomposing bodies wrapped in plastic bags in the morgue and the gut-wrenching experience of a young man crying for an overdose of morphine to end his suffering.

The medical and nursing staff were often on their feet twenty-four hours a day and there were times when they operated under the influence of drugs and alcohol. Their idealism quickly spiraled downwards as they questioned what they were doing, why they were there and why every day they faced young men and children ripped to pieces. In detailing her experience, she uses the letters that flowed back and forth between her and her family to capture the effect that year had on her life.

The last part of her book deals with DeVanter’s return home and her attempts to go back to a normal life. However, like many others returning from Vietnam, her transition was hampered by flashbacks, crying jags, and nightmares. They received little support either from the government or from their communities. DeVanter descended into an unstable personal life, a downward spiral of alcohol and drugs and a life on welfare and food stamps. She tried therapy but was unable to talk about her experience in Vietnam.

DeVanter’s breakthrough came after visiting a friend on Long Island in New York in 1979. During the night she awoke to the sound of sirens, the same sounds that had alerted her to rocket and mortar attacks in Vietnam. She got out of bed, crawled along the floor to the to the living room and then out of the house. The incident led her to a post traumatic stress therapy program called “Walking Through Vietnam” and as part of her therapy she began recording her memories and wrote this book.

Initially the book was well received, especially by nurses who served in Vietnam and connected with her story. Others, now feeling more comfortable about sharing their experiences, came forward and did so as well. But things shifted dramatically when Sally Field’s production company under Columbia Films planned a film based on this book. Many, including nurses who had also served, were concerned about how this would shape the public’s perceptions of military women’s experience in Vietnam. Although many agreed with her narrative, there were some who did not, insisting DeVanter had exaggerated events. They did not deny drug, alcohol and partying were part of the environment, but not to the extent that Devanter portrayed. They insisted they had never seen doctors and nurses under the influence working in the operating rooms and felt the book maligned their own experiences in Vietnam.

One of DeVanter’s most persistent critics was Patricia Walsh, a nurse who served in Da Nang. She was not against DeVanter writing about her personal experience but was against that experience being interpreted as the experience of all nurses in Vietnam. She did not want DeVanter’s record to ruin the image of nursing or for American families to believe the family member they lost in the war died because of the care of intoxicated exhausted staff. Walsh founded an organization called Nurses Against Misrepresentation (NAM) to deny negative portrayals of nurses in Vietnam, to protest the book being made into a film and pressure Columbia pictures to cancel the film. Which they did, citing script problems.

This is a heart-breaking story of a young woman who served her country but lost her patriotism, her health and her future to that experience. It shows the scars left on the military assigned to combat zones after living a life growing up in peace in America. They return home to experience a difficult transition to normal life, but it will never be what it was before they left for their tour of duty.

As an aside, a few years after this book was published, a TV series called China Beach (1988-91) was created with a lead character based partially on Lynda DeVanter’s experience. Also to be noted was that Lynda was diagnosed with systemic collagen vascular disease, a condition she attributed to exposure to the defoliant agent orange the US army used in Vietnam. She died in November of 2002 at the early age of fifty-five.

This is a not a comfortable read, but it is an important one.

[Tiffany · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lynda Van Devanter is a completely honest author. She's going to tell you about her job as a nurse in Vietnam and she isn't going to hold anything back. That's why I love her.

There are many books about the soldier experience in Vietnam ("The Things They Carried" is a pretty good one) but I really enjoyed reading from the persective of a nurse, it's not a thing you think about much but if I had been alive during that time, I probably would have been a Vietnam nurse. There were so many of them.

This book is brutally honest. It is not for the weak of heart but I do reccomend it for fans of war books who are accustomed to all of the gore.

[S. Isaac · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this one instead of “The Women” but I’m probably too late saying that. This one is so much better and I was astounded, saddened and full admiration for her resilience and the book Linda wrote so courageously. I can’t imagine how hard it would be to write about your deepest darkest ugliest hours without flinching away from yourself or trying to protect yourself and glossing over things.

[Colleen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Couldn't put it down until I finished it. True story about a nurse and her experiences in Vietnam. This book was very good, but depressing.

[Aingeal Stone · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kristin Hannah totally plagiarized this memoir when writing her The Women novel. This true story was worth reading.

[Bonnie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Audio

[John Rowe · Rating 4 out of 5]

I first ran across Lynda Van Devanter when I was a teenager reading Everything We Had: An Oral History of the Vietnam War, which is a first-person history of the Vietnam War. (My Dad was a Marine Vietnam veteran, so I read most anything related to the war that I could get my hands on in those years.) Her story was one of the chapters in the book. For some reason, Ms. Van Devanter's name and story (you mean there are woman Vietnam veterans?) stuck in my head. Somewhere along the line, I heard about this book, but never picked it up.

Fast forward a few decades and I find myself the father of a newly-minted nurse. I bought Home Before Morning for my daughter, and the story of this early-20's girl wandering somewhat blindly into the life-changing, earth-shaking Vietnam experience resonated with her so I decided to finally give it a shot. The writing is honest, clear and well ordered. The journey from young, idealistic new nursing grad to grizzled, PTSD-tormented veteran was gripping and heartbreaking. Her climb from the depths of depression to a functioning, thriving nurse, advocate, and wife was uplifting, but bittersweet when tempered with her health issues. The work that the author did to further the awareness of and rights/benefits afforded to woman veterans is laudable and timely in this age of expanding attention to women's rights.

Overall, a solid story of innocence, trial, redemption and tragedy that is better to read about than actually live through!

[June · Rating 5 out of 5]

Story of a happy-go-lucky young lady fresh out of nursing school. Then she goes to Vietnam for one year of service. Her story tells the horror of war. Countless young boys dying during her long shifts in the operating room. Her return home was equally appalling. When she returns home she is plagued with depression and untreated PTSD. At the time, women nurse veterans were not acknowledge and lacked access to treatment and resources. Her work in achieving recognition for women who served deserves the ultimate praise.
Listened to the audio. An excellent presentation.

[Sydney Gibson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an incredible heartbreaking look inside what it was like to be a nurse during the Vietnam war. It'll make you think and realize how much so many sacrificed during that war.

I recommend this book to anyone interested in a insiders point of view and not a boring history professors.

[Suzanne Mosley (Suzanne Shares) · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you read and loved “The Women” by Kristin Hannah, READ THIS BOOK! In the end notes of that book, Hannah includes a book list for further reading and that she used for her book, which was how I found this book. There were moments of outrage for me in “The Women,” and this occurred numerous times for me as I read “Home Before Morning.”

To know that Lynda was an actual woman who was spat upon after coming home from Vietnam, who was often told “There were no women in Vietnam. What do you mean you served there?” made the nonfiction pieces of “The Women” come to light. Also, to read of the horrific things that she went through with PTSD and because of exposure to Agent Orange, which ultimately led to her death—made it clear that Lynda Van Devanter was a true American hero. I was appalled to learn of the lack of services and benefits to female veterans post-Vietnam, and Van Devanter lives her days advocating and being a change-agent for policies within the military. Many, many necessary changes were set in motion and are still in place in 2024 because of her tireless work.

Interestingly, a friend shared about the daughter of a Vietnam vet who shared the stage with Kristin Hannah during her book tour launch of “The Women.” That daughter is Molly Stillman, and her mother was Lynda Van Devanter. Molly also just released a book “If I Don’t Laugh, I’ll Cry” a couple of months ago. Ironically, I read Molly’s book the week before her mother’s, “Home Before Morning.” I did not make this connection initially. It was incredible to read Molly’s book and to get to know her incredible mother through the eyes of Molly. Then, the following week, I read Lynda’s book and her story.

One thing is certain—they both loved each other, and I don’t know who was more proud of the other—Lynda or Molly. I feel incredibly blessed to have met these women and to know their stories. As Lynda (and Kristin Hannah) clearly, powerfully show us—there WERE women in Vietnam. We are all better for knowing this so that we can honor their service.

[Carol · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent true story about life as an Army nurse stationed in Viet Nam during the war. After Linda’s 12 month tour, she returned to face the same reaction from the country that many of her fellow service members faced, but in some ways it was even worse. Most people were unaware that women served in the war and faced the daily war time traumas of front line heroes. Her recovery from PSTD (not called that at the time) and her ultimate mission to get recognition for all women veterans was an important section of the book. A very eye-opening memoir. If you liked The Women by Kristin Hannah, meet the woman whose stories inspired Hannah to write her book.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is not for the faint of heart. The traumas of war are told without holding back. The point at which Van Devanter starts falling into shell shock and depression while still overseas is heartbreaking. The side effects of war were discussed very openly. Seeing the progression from war, to home, to civilian transition was so interesting. Van Devanter does a great job of describing all of the things she went though in a way that I felt for her as she was struggling.

[Brianna Roth · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is not for the faint of heart and not to be read during any seasons of sadness or depression. For its very raw and intimate look at wartime and post-war realities, I highly recommend the book. It is eye-opening and sobering. However, be aware that it is filled with frequent strong language, graphic descriptions of injuries and medical procedures, and thematic content (including suicidal ideation, PTSD, abortion, war crimes, etc). It is well worth the read, particularly to begin to understand the trauma and injustices veterans experience.

[Martha Muckleroy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Truth is stranger and sometimes better than fiction, especially when told in such an honest, straight forward way. This book does read like entries from her journal, but I thought her simple language made more of an impact than someone trying too hard to write an historical fiction account of army nurses in Vietnam. This woman’s story is amazing, and of course is only one of thousands that could be told about all wars. Thank you to all Veterans.

[Emma · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ik had dit boek gevonden in een boekenhuisje/stadsbibliotheek in Lombok. Ik vind het een prachtig boek! De schrijfstijl maakte dat het verhaal en de ervaringen ontzettend dichtbij voelden. Het was pijnlijk, verdrietig en eenzaam. Maar ook liefdevol en romantisch.

Daarnaast heb ik veel oorlogsverhalen gehoord/gelezen/gezien vanaf de soldaat kant. Deze kant van de verpleging was nieuw voor me, maar natuurlijk net zo belangrijk. Morgen stop ik het boek - met een notitie - terug in het boekenhuisje. Hopelijk is iemand anders er net zo onder de indruk van. Hint hint

[Hannah Dorius · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was inspired to read this after reading The Women by Kristin Hannah. Lynda’s story is so raw but her resilience absolutely shines. Highly recommend.

[Linnea Jane · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very difficult read but also a story of great resilience.

[Jobie · Rating 5 out of 5]

After being left wanting upon finishing “The Women” I needed to see if there was a real account about a nurse stationed in VN. I’m certain she pulled content from this account. Great book. Inspiring read.

[Stephanie Neuzil Fink · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this instead of my book club choice, The Women, as I don't particularly enjoy Kristen Hannah's writing style.

I'm so glad I read this memoir! Difficult book. Hard subject both during her time at war and after. Lynda Van Devanter walks you through her story in such a way you feel you have a greater understanding of our Vietnam vets and all they've been through.

[Sue · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you’ve read Kristin Hannah’s The Women, you definitely should read this book too! VanDevanter dives deeper into her time in Vietnam and her struggles upon returning. She turns her traumatic experiences into a meaningful crusade to help other women vets get the help and recognition they need and deserve.

[Eileen Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

After attempting and failing to finish the recently released bestseller "the women " I realized that what I needed to read was a real life account of a nurse's experience in Vietnam. I found Home before Morning- and so happy I did. My library- part of a huge county library system did not have this book- so I asked for an interlibrary loan.

This is a true, honest, raw, gut wrenching account of a nurse who is committed to her country, her patients and fellow healers.

You meet her as a happy go lucky nursing student and follow her path as she enlists in the army and goes to war. She shares her times there - and includes the letters she wrote home and those she received from home. She shares her fears and you read as she evolves from being a supporter of the war to one who asks why? Why was the US involved and why are so many young men and women dying and being maimed for life for a war no one believed in. She's graphic in her descriptions of the injuries she sees- hard for the average person to digest.

As she completes her commitment she writes of how she was spit on, cursed and treated with malice on her return to the US. The nightmares, anxiety and fears she suffers stay with her but she overcomes these to work in helping other veterans. She unfortunately develops illnesses related to her time in Nam and gives the ultimate sacrifice - her life - to her country.

I strongly suggest reading this memoir - it's a tough read- it's real, raw and honest - she holds nothing back.
This book has helped me to better understand the Vietnam war and the heros who served. God bless them all.

[Leslie Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

I felt everything in this book. Lynda Van Devanter was so raw and emotional. I am proud of not only what she had to endure but also what she did for women veterans post war. I am a woman veteran, OIF/OND serving in a medical unit, and without women like Lynda, I don’t know where we would be at today. Thank you Lynda Van Devanter for your service, your dedication, and welcome home. Lynda is an inspiration to me and I hope she can continue to be an inspiration to others.

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book many moons ago & it rocked my world! Having uncles who fought in Vietnam, having a unspoken agreement not to mention it, this book quenched some of my thirst for curiosity & also was support for myself when I served in the military.
The women who served before I did, served hard & paved a way for myself. I respect & honor them.
This story is about one of those women I hold in high esteem.