Adulting: How to Become a Grown-up in 535 Easy(ish) Steps

by Kelly Williams Brown

THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING GUIDE, WITH UPDATED MATERIAL AND A NEW FOREWORD

If you graduated from college but still feel like a student . . . if you wear a business suit to job interviews but pajamas to the grocery store . . . if you have your own apartment but no idea how to cook or clean . . . it's OK. But it doesn't have to be this way.
Just because you don't feel like an adult doesn't mean you can't act like one. And it all begins with this funny, wise, and useful book. Based on Kelly Williams Brown's popular blog, ADULTING, makes the scary, confusing "real world" approachable, manageable--and even conquerable. This guide will help you to navigate the stormy Sea of Adulthood so that you may find safe harbor in Not Running Out of Toilet Paper Bay, and along the way you will learn:



What to check for when renting a new apartment--Not just the nearby bars, but the faucets and stove, among other things.
When a busy person can find time to learn more about the world (It involves the intersection of NPR and hair-straightening.)
How to avoid hooking up with anyone in your office--Imagine your coworkers having plastic, featureless doll crotches. It helps.
The secret to finding a mechanic you love--Or, more realistically, one that will not rob you blind.
From breaking up with frenemies to fixing your toilet, this way fun comprehensive handbook is the answer for aspiring grown-ups of all ages.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Humor, Adult, Personal Development, Reference, Psychology

352 pages, Paperback

First published May 7, 2013

Reviews

[Val ⚓️ Shameless Handmaiden ⚓️ · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this up as the "free" book in a B&N "Buy Two, Get Third Free" shamwow as it was the only thing left that looked even remotely interesting.

And I thought I would read it for entertainment value only.

Because we ALL know I got this whole adulting thing so fucking down it isn't even funny.



But I actually really ended up liking this thing.

For realz though.

How can you not love advice like this?



I love that part about jealously.

People say this so much: "Oh, it's okay Little Susie, they don't like you because they are just jealous."



"Ignore them, Betty Lou, she's just jealous of you."



I'm sure there are people who don't like me - and not because they are jealous of my mad wordsmithing skills and ability to go on tangents like a dog seeing a squirrel - but because they think I'm obnoxious and offensive.

And guess what?

THAT'S OKAY.

Because I AM obnoxious and offensive.

And, strangely, not everyone is down with that.

We are who we are.

And as long as you aren't a fucking serial killer or hoarding a collection of legit child porn, I say, we should all just be ourselves, no?

So stop teaching poor Little Susie and Betty Lou that it's not okay to be disliked or that something is wrong with one or both parties if two people don't get along.

This drives me crazy.

Speaking of crazy, this brings me to another awesome step...

DO NOT ENGAGE WITH CRAZY.

This was awesome.

Cause, you know who attracts the crazy like flies to shit?



Yup, that's right.

THIS girl.

Because sometimes, you don't always know that someone's got the crazy until it's too late.

Thus, step 123:

"Do not engage with crazy...

Here, I am not talking about the mentally ill, but rather people whose perception of the world is so skewed that it is difficult for them to interact with the rest of us. Think people who scream at waitresses. Those types of people.

Engaging with them will never, ever provide the desired effect for you. You can't make crazy people not-crazy with your reasonable thoughts and words. There is one direction sanity will flow, and it is away from you as the madness spreads, and soon your thoughts and words won't be even slightly reasonable...The next time you find yourself interacting with someone who is just completely out there, don't tell them they are being unreasonable because that won't do anything.

Remind yourself that you do not engage with crazy (silently, of course; saying this aloud wll probably make things mush worse). Treat them kindly, and gingerly, and then get away..."

The only..."caveat" to this above nugget of brilliance?

"Drunk counts as crazy here, in both the short term ('Oh, she's drunk') and the long term ('Oh, he's a drunk')."

Yeah, so we will just ignore that part.



I also skipped the entire section about cooking.

But keep in mind the first time I ever tried baking on my own...the fire department had to be called.

And I'm DEAD serious here.

But what can I say?

[Dawn Albright · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have a twenty something daughter, but I bought the book for myself. I am fifty, but I feel like I'm barely civilized. Seriously, it doesn't matter what the memo was, I am always feeling like I didn't get the memo. For example: I recently learned that you are supposed to take your car to the mechanic every 30K miles *before* it breaks down. Wow, what a life changer. I kept stopping people and saying "Did you know you can fix your car before it breaks?" and they all answered "Er, yes, I did." I recently binged on a bunch of "what you should have learned" books, and this is by far the best one. It has a great cross section of emotional, financial, and housekeeping advice. A lot of these books has this women's magazine "you will never be good enough" tone to them, and this book completely avoids that. There is a lot of humor and the understanding that live doesn't always work out so well. Sometimes your refrigerator will be gross. I actually had figured out most of the stuff in this book by now, but still appreciated the thorough treatment of so many topics. Now that I have finished it, I will be passing it on to my daughter.

[Kelly (and the Book Boar) · Rating 1 out of 5]

I thought this was going to be a tongue-in-cheek sort of book. It was not . . . . .



It's terrifying to think people (like there's a very good chance I'm raising two of them) might need the kind of sage advice presented here. Things like "jobs are good" and "so is toilet paper." Holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?

[Whitney Atkinson · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was super entertaining! I really have few complaints about it, but the issue with the matter is that I read this book too soon. I assumed adulthood began at age 18 so this book would benefit me, but this is more geared toward college graduates and people trying to figure out their lives away from home. Therefore, I felt like half of the advice in this book went in one ear and out the other because I didn't have to think about stuff like that yet.

A lot of the advice in this book was a little bit long-winded. Some of the steps were things I didn't know, but the pace of this book was dragged down by a weighty explanation after almost every step, even when the step itself was self-explanatory.

Some topics (*cough* taxes) still went way over my head, because she would say, "Oh, you need to do this!!!" but she wouldn't explain what "this" is, how to do it, or why it's important. I guess until then, i'll be googling what a 401K is. I'll definitely be keeping this around until my early twenties, and then maybe when I reread it then, i'll dog-ear the pages on the most useful tips!

[Sophie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have mixed feelings on this book. I wanted to love it, but mostly I just kept wishing it was written by Captain Awkward. (Sidenote: WHY HASN'T CAPTAIN AWKWARD WRITTEN A BOOK YET.) I've learned more about being an adult from that blog than from anything in this book.

I was actually enjoying this book a lot until I got to "Step 276: Keep an eye on weight gain." *insert scratching record noise* Wait, what? I thought I was reading a chill book and now it's going to fat-shame me? Especially after I LOVED "Step 103: Curb your instinct to comment on other people's bodies aloud." How about you curb YOUR instinct to tell me what to do with my body, book. News flash: There are fat adults. There are fat adults who are very good at being adults. Being fat is not a character flaw. Tell me to eat real food, tell me to exercise if you must, but don't tell me not to be fat.

Also, since when are prenatal vitamins "critically necessary" for women even if you're not going to get pregnant anytime soon? I don't consider shiny hair and strong nails to be "critically necessary," but they're the only justifications provided for that particular bit of advice.

That said, this book did contain some actual useful advice, especially in the practical arenas of cooking, cleaning, moving house, etc. It's when the book gets into more personal arenas that I start to disagree with it. A lot of that stuff is much more subjective, and the advice in those areas isn't going to work for everyone, yet the author acts like it will. Still, maybe it's helpful for those ten years younger than I am who are just beginning to figure this stuff out, and I'm just coming at it from my own perspective about what works and doesn't work for my personal adult life.

I did like a lot of the humor in this book. Choice quote: "Dryers are like the American presidency. Clothing goes in looking youthful and vigorous, and emerges slumped and gray-haired."

Also, she's right about the Scorpios.

[C.E. G · Rating 2 out of 5]

At 26, I already have some good years of adulting under my belt, but there were still a few things I learned about from this book (e.g. pet insurance, house cleaning tips, emergency numbers you should have programmed into your phone). And I like the idea of adulting as a verb, and most of the interpersonal advice was solid.

However, it was written for a fairly particular audience - college-educated, middle class, gender-conforming, white, etc. Even though I fit a lot of those descriptors, I still found a lot of the advice annoyingly unaware of the diversity of 20-sthgs.

[Yen-Tzu]

Second update ? years later. Yes, the pandemic has happened and is still happening and time no longer has meaning

No, I am still not allowed to paint any walls, so I have made no further progress with this book. However, it turns out the author has found adulting rather tough too -- despite knowing how to paint walls. This is in no way a denigration of the author because, as we've all discovered, sometimes life just sucks for a while:

https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2022...

First progress update after almost 1 year

Becoming a grown-up is going terribly. I have killed my houseplant, Susan. In my defense, she did seem very determined to die. I used a makeup brush to carefully remove dust from her leaves, I made sure she was never in direct sunlight, I sprayed water onto her leaves as directed by the plant book that I bought to find out how to take good care of her, and I perhaps watered her a bit too often out of loving her too much.

Also, I have stopped reading this book because the author started talking about how to paint walls, but I currently rent and would prefer to get my security deposit back like a responsible adult. Reading about how to paint walls is not very exciting. Maybe one day, when I'm allowed to paint walls, I shall pick this book up again, or I could just exercise my free will as an adult and skip to the next chapter I guess.

Original statement of intent

From time to time I have occasionally been struck by doubt over whether I'm any good at being an adult. My furniture doesn't match -- understanding my limitations, I decided that as long as the colour matches, I should be okay, so now my entire apartment is varying shades of brown --and I don't own a throw. On the plus side I recently got a house plant, which is an encouraging sign I'm ready to take on more responsibility in my life.

But how does one establish whether one is any good at being an adult, and how do you improve if you discover you're rather incompetent? It eventually struck me that I could just read a book about it. Reading has allowed me to develop an impressively in-depth knowledge of the Tudors, which no one is interested in hearing about nor has it ever helped in an emergency. Surely reading about being an adult should prove more pragmatic. Hence my recent purchase of this book, which is actually a revised edition with 67 more steps to being an adult than the first edition. One can only conclude that adulting has become more difficult in the intervening 5 years.

To ensure I cover all the areas of being a competent adult, I have also purchased "Broke Millenial: Stop Scraping by and Get Your Financial Life Together", "Ask a Manager", and "Full Catastrophe Living". This should hopefully better prepare me for life than reading more non fiction on the Tudors which only teaches you that marrying a king is not all it's cut out to be, especially if you don't enjoy being beheaded, and that marrying a man could cost you your power, kingdom and the respect of your subjects.

As I make my way through this book, I shall be jotting down my thoughts here as I journey towards adulting properly, and maybe buying a throw.

[Jillian Vicinanza · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was literally written for the most absolutely lost young adults on the planet. Alternate title: guide to being a person. Helpful if you 1). Were raised by people who did not teach you anything/raised by wolves, 2). Don't know how to interact with other humans, 3). Are so incompetent that you need to know how to make sandwich or sweep a floor, 4). Did nothing but drink all through college and are now in a complete stupor and need help living. This could have been cute if it wasn't so ridiculously simplistic. Anyway, at 27 this book is not for me.

[Obsidian · Rating 1 out of 5]

Cleaning up my read shelves finally. There are so many physical books I have finished, but haven't had the urge to post reviews because I am a lazy person. Okay, back to this book.

I bought this about three or maybe four years ago. I have picked it up off and on throughout that time and have nothing more to say except this book is just a big old nope. I thought it would be funny or something. But the issue is that I can't believe that there are adults out there that need to be told to buy freaking toilet paper. I just smacked myself a few times because I was hoping that this would turn into something. Anything. But I am also shocked anyone published this cause I can't believe we have a book telling "adults" to sweep their floors. Then again we just lived through a pandemic where I found out adults don't know how to wash their hands properly. Or that they should change their sheets more than once every 6 months.

Ah well. Off to the donation pile.

[Alicia · Rating 1 out of 5]

Right now I honestly don't think I will bother finishing this book. I expected "Adulting" to be charming, witty, and full of good advice. In actuality it is pretentious, annoying, and sometimes has questionable advice. I read to page 113, but I did skip the cooking chapter for the most part. (I already like to cook so the majority of this advice was rudimentary in my case.) What I dislike the most about this book is that her advice is sometimes too specific in a way that it doesn't seem like she is giving advice on how to adult, it seems like she is giving advice on how to be like her. I don't think I like her and I definitely don't think I would like to emulate her. Maybe she is a lovely person in real life, but solely from this book the impression that I have is that she is petty, passive aggressive, fake, lacking in compassion, and she advises everyone else should be just like this too!

One piece of "advice" that particularly irked me was "Step 130: Deal with line-cutters and their ilk as though they are sweet but dim people who need some gentle correction." (83) The title of this step already sounds beyond rude and I think no one should do as she advises on this one.

"Assume your friendliest, most open expression that lets them know you are all on the same team. Your voice will express sympathy that they didn't get it right the first time, but optimism tat with your guidance, they will manage. "Actually--" Pause. "--the line starts back that way." Then put a bright happy smile on your face, one with just the slightest hint of steel. Ninety percent of this smile will say, 'Glad we're cleared this up!' Ten percent of this smile will say, 'Seriously, fucker, get to the end of the line.' "

The level of passive aggressiveness is off the charts. I have heard people pull this while waiting in lines before, and I usually dislike them more than the line cutters themselves. If I were cutting in line and someone wanted to call me out on it I would prefer them to simply tell me straight out that I should go to the end. Hell, I would prefer a reaction of outright agitation or even anger to this blatant saccharine fakery.

The other advice in this book also has similar issues for me, the instances of which are too many to bother listing. If you are in your 20s and interested in self improvement, I would instead recommend "The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter and How to Make the Most of Them Now" by Meg Jay.

(Side note: I'm 24 so I think I am supposed to be the target audience of this book.)

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book got 3 stars because there was some helpful information in it and it was quite funny. However, this book champions one way of "adulting" that is very middle-class, North American, white collar professional. Not everyone wants or can aspire for this life. Upholding it as the correct way to adult (though there is a disclaimer at the beginning to pick and choose what steps to follow) is naive and excluding of many different sorts of people and lifestyles. I was hoping for this book to provide comfort and encouragement in my transition out of unemployment, but it overall made me feel very inadequate and anxious. Take this title with handful of salt.

[Bethany Erin]

Originally posted here.

I really wish this book had been around when I graduated from college and that someone had bought it for me and said, “Here. This will help.”

Because, seriously, Adulting would have been a god-send to 22-year-old me.

Hell, it was helpful for 26-year-old me.

Though it shouldn’t necessarily be treated as a survival guide or a Bible or a the one-and-only book you consult when you need advice, Adulting is a great reference to have for everything from simple recipes to networking to being taken seriously at work to maintaining meaningful adult relationships.

Hint: a lot of it comes down to being thoughtful and conscientious and writing thank you cards.

Even though this book isn’t revolutionary and the advice inside isn’t anything new, it’s a really great starting place for young women (and men! Men could like this!) who have questions on how to operate as “adults.” The voice is young, fresh, understanding, and—I can’t stress this enough—funny.

For real, Kelly Williams Brown is hilarious. If nothing else, read it because it will make you laugh. And! There are amusing illustrations!

Now I’m going to buy lots of copies of this so I can hand them out to people when they come to my apartment. Parting gifts = advanced adulting, right?

[Carol · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked the author's voice - she was easy and breezy but also serious and mature. However, one thing about this book bummed me out - she seemed to want people to be perfect! You were supposed to do all these things, and if you did you'd be an adult. The problem is, most adults don't do many of the things listed, and they're still responsible, contributing members of society. So if you're young and just starting out, take all these requirements with a grain of salt.

[TheGirlFromSmallville ❀ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Decent manual for high school or college grads who are just starting to be independent adults. It’s a beginner’s guide to owning/maintaining a car, casual dating and relationships, friendships, work life, living with roommates, family problems, emergencies, and many more. Rest is pretty much straightforward and common sense.

Be aware that this was written by a 20-something year old, basing on her own experience. Unfortunately, I was not aware of that, so about 98% of this book is not new to me. She and I probably experienced most of it at the same time. The other 2% can only be applied in the USA and I live North of that.

However, it’s only pretty much scratched the surface on all its topics. Merely giving the reader a sneak peek on what to expect. The book is short and has over 400 points to discuss, so it goes by fast. If you want a more detailed read, I suggest you pick up another book.

[Melissa Lee-Tammeus · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn't finish this book, so to review it is a bit unfair. But I did read up to about Step 63 and then I decided I was way over this book. After all, I have been "adulting" for 25 years plus now so I'm pretty sure I know I need certain cookware and that buying a lamp is a good purchase. I picked up this book thinking it would be a funny quirky book and it really tries to be, but mostly, it is one of those books you put in a care package for a first time apartment owner or a child leaving the nest for the first time. And then honestly what kid is going to read it when they believe themselves to be omnipotent and all knowing? I don't know who the audience is really supposed to be here. This is kind of disguised Dear Abby in a pretty chick lit envelope. Unfortunately,I didn't quite get it.

[mehg-hen]

I have a hot button that I have yet to identify which is making me bail on books.

I have bailed on this book, which I purchased at full retail price in a bookstore. It remains on my nightstand. I am a fan of Kelly William Brown's tumblr and was generally very excited about this book and every time I drop something, I clean it up, expressly because of her book. By every time, I mean 68%. This is an increase. Actually, it's more like 52%. That is an increase.

I would like to write a companion book called "when shit is a mess." Or like Beyond Adulting: When Your Plans Get Fucked. Or like Adulting Plus: How To Forgive Things When You Do Them Totally Wrong, i.e. Sometimes Rules Are Aspirations Disguised. Or like "How to Ruin Your life." Or maybe I am reading it and hoping that it will be Hemingway's "A Moveable Feast" but without the depressing parts.

Certain parts like "you will make more money" and expecting that to happen in your thirties flies directly in the face of my actual human experience and feels like I am standing in Siberia and have TB. This likely indicates I need to have dinner with someone I enjoy who tells good jokes and not take books I can't finish that seriously and/or that I am really excited to read rules and/or a narcissist because who cares.

Tread lightly with rules on your little bodies and minds. If I was a benevolent giant that farted but gave good advice and talked in a very quiet voice so people had to scale me to hear what I said, that's what I would say. Then I would bless them with a tear and they could relax in my lip.

My biggest hassle in being an adult is making peace with shit experiences and the complicated power dynamics in the world and stormy desires to sit in a closet and chainsmoke, i.e. the shades of grey everywhere. Also shakily believing that things are all right. Maybe I just wanted this book to say "leave your apartment" over and over and "you have catastrophe fantasies because you have an overactive imagination and it's a handy way to avoid things."

feeeeeeeeliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiings

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Let me say this short thing about me first. I'm a twenty-one woman who doesn't know what the fuck she is gonna do in her life. Since I was twenty, I didn't know what to do with it. This book cleared so many things. I still don't know what the fuck to do, but I have a start and I will seek more help along the way, this book taught me how. I started this book with zero expectations and came out with a lot of good advices and a lot of laughs at our true life.

Full review on my blog.

[Erica · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'll be honest, I skimmed the headers of each step. If it was something I didn't think was super obvious, I read the paragraph below. Overall I guess I was just expecting more out of this one. Expecting it to be... funnier, deeper, actually teach me something of a introspective nature if not a literal skill. It did not, it taught me all things I already knew. Maybe this is because I've already lived on my own (with roommates) before, and because my mother taught me how to be a decent, self-sufficient member of society. So shout out to my Mom for making this book useless for me.

[Lucie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was great! As a person that is going through the ongoing crisis that is "adulthood" I found a lot of the tips helpful and look forward to implementing them. The tips that weren't as helpful to me were still fun to read because Brown's voice was so enjoyable to read from. I do think it's worth noting that I fit pretty squarely into the demographic she wrote for as I'm 22, been out of school for barely a year, have a white collar office job, and grew up middle class so maybe I was predisposed to like this. That said, I think even if you don't fit those things a lot of the advice can be applicable to you and if you gain nothing else you'll at least have an enjoyable reading experience.

[Runa · Rating 2 out of 5]

A lot of the practical advice on cooking, cleaning, etc. was totally appreciated. But for the most part, I wanted to throw this book across the room. The book starts off with kind of a disclaimer that not all of the advice given is going to be relevant to you, the reader, and boy, is that true. A lot of the life advice given is just too generalized and not applicable and some of it made me seethe in anger, like, how dare this stranger make assumptions about the kind of person I *should* be according to her arbitrary, upper middle class standards? So yeah, for the practical adulting, great read. For the more abstract life advice, please don't listen to some robotic book telling you how you should live your life. You're the only one who knows what works for you in your specific situation in your specific life.

[Chloë Mali · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you are wondering how to feel or act like an adult, this book will probably have some of the answers you're looking for. I now feel quite equipped to get my first apartment, keep my pantry stocked so I don't starve, and not panic if I- heaven forbid- ever get into a car accident. However, I mostly preferred the first few, more practical chapters of the book, as opposed to the latter ones that I ended up skimming as I have no interest in "hooking up" with anybody. All in all though, as I get closer to embarking on some big scary life steps, I'll likely reread the chapters I liked over and over again, so 3.5 stars... maybe 4. I can't decide.

[Zara · Rating 4 out of 5]

It took me a full eight months to finish this book (more time than any fat tome with tiny print I've read), but not because it was dull or uninteresting - rather, Kelly Williams Brown's writing is something I enjoyed dipping into a bit at a time, every once in a while, for some solid advice and a good laugh. Of course, parts of the book were less useful to me than others (I've got cooking down pat, other bits less so), but that comes with the territory, and even the less useful bits were often entertaining. One to keep on the shelf and refer to from time to time.

[Sabrina · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a cute and insightful book into what to expect and be prepared for when entering new adulthood. This book could provide helpful advice to almost anyone who is about to graduate from college (like me), trying to find their first career, living on their own for the first time, etc. It provides helpful advice on a plethora of topics from personal finance to friendships and familial relationships. While a reasonable amount of the book's steps did not apply to me, many of them did, or otherwise provided inspiration and advice on how to be a better human.

[Cait · Rating 4 out of 5]

While not quite as humorous as I was anticipating, Adulting is still an extremely useful book (one that would probably be better to own rather than borrow from the library like I did). Lots of useful tips, and, if you want to be annoying, lots of potential to annoy the "true" adults in your life: "Mom and Dad, what do you MEAN you don't dust the fridge's coils every month??!"

[Savannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I hardly ever leave a review, but for this book I feel like I have to. The advice given here is so practical, and so necessary for people who haven’t learned the basics of adulting and want to be able to make smart and informed choices in life. It’s also so entertaining and and enjoyable to read rather than feeling like you’re being lectured. I loved it and I’ve recommended it many times.

[Melissa Stacy · Rating 3 out of 5]

On May 5, 2022, Vanity Fair published an article titled: "She Invented 'Adulting.' Her Life Fell Apart. She Wants You to Know That's Okay," a thoughtful bio piece about the author of the nonfiction book, "Adulting: How to Become a Grown-up in 468 Easy(ish) Steps," by Kelly Williams Brown, published in 2013.

I had never heard of Kelly Williams Brown before, or the book "Adulting," but I enjoyed the Vanity Fair article, so I decided to pick the book up from the library.

And oh my goodness, was I not a fan. This book was NOT written for me. It's literally a list of "adulting" steps such as the following gems: make sure to put gas in your car, clean your house, pay your bills.

This book would not have been helpful to me even if I were the intended audience: a 22-year-old fresh out of undergrad. This book is written for young adults who've had the good fortune of growing up upper-middle class, with parents who can take care of themselves, young adults who still have living grandparents, and anyone who has, in general, been overly coddled in life. If you are twenty-two and haven't yet learned that it's best to wipe up milk right after you spill it, and have no idea how to turn on an oven, then this book will certainly help.

And if a reader fits that demographic, then: fair. You will find this book valuable and rewarding.

But oh my lord, am I not this person. I was "adulting" as a young child, and that's just the luck of the draw. Some people get upper-middle class lives with a lot of privilege. Some of us just don't.

I understand that there was, apparently, a real need for this book. But it kinda sorta totally repulses me, and I'm glad I didn't have to spend any money on it.

One star for me personally. Three stars because I know I was definitely not the intended audience for this thing.

[Rina Makode · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a rather silly book aimed at a totally different 'age group' and 'sincerity group' than me. However, the ratio of the 'practical actionable insights gathered' to 'time spent reading it' is superhigh in this case despite this being a self-help book where that ratio is generally quite low. I believe it's the clear breakdown of actionable insights into the titular 486 steps that we have to thank for this.
But certainly, there are clear gems there in the book hidden in the middle of some(well, most of them) very obvious steps. I liked them so much that I think I ought to list them so that I can keep revising in case I forget them ever. An important thing to note would be that I already thought I am excellent at adulting. So who knows what insights it may give you if you were to spend 2-3 hours on it. Self-improvement, as this author would say I feel, is a bitch!

Examples of the steps I ought to inculcate(I might edit these later)
On 'Self Improvement'
Step 87: Remember that the outside world only sees your outermost layer.
This is easy to forget, since we spend all day sloshing around in our own inner monologues, but it’s true.
Step 90: Spend ten minutes a day gathering news
Step 91: Develop your own opinions
Step 96: Do not be intimidated by glamorous people
Step 97: Act like you’ve been there before
Step 102: Do not talk about your deep, passionately held beliefs
This goes for Jesus, the Green Party, Judaism, numerology, the importance of never dating Scorpios, whatever.
Step 104: Don’t comment on things people are; comment on things people do
The simplest example of this is not telling a tall person that they’re tall.
Step 105: Don’t emotionally rubberneck
If someone reveals a detail about themselves to you that suggests they went through something heavy, do not ask them about it. If they say their mother died, don’t ask how. If they want to offer this information to you, they will.
Step 106: Quit talking about your own body
Step 112: Other people’s sex lives are none of your business
Step 113: Be interesting!
Figure out what your own talking points are — quirky and unique things about yourself that might amuse others and/or help segue into a topic where everyone is comfortable. Also, know these facts about your friends who might be at the party with you
Step 114: Know how to wrap things up
Every conversation you begin must at some point come to an end (ALL THOSE OFFICE CALLS EHERE I CRINGE AND KEEP THINKING HOW DO I END THIS!)
Step 115: Send a thank-you note
ALWAYS
Step 116: Determine what you care about, then dedicate some of your time to it
Step 117: Imagine rude people as jellyfish
Step 118: Develop your own Teflon qualities
Step 119: Accept that some people are just jerks
Step 122: Just accept that some people won’t like you, and never will … and it’s not because they’re jealous, either.
Step 123: Do not engage with crazy-people whose perception of the world is so odd and skewed that it is difficult for them to interact with the rest of us.

On ‘Professional Front’
Step 135: Accept the idea of networking
Step 169: Don’t verbally undermine yourself

On “Money Matters’
Step 202: Think of shopping like drinking
Step 211: Ideally, someday, you will have three months’ worth of living expenses squirreled away. Or, if you’re a superstar, six months’ worth

On 'Maintainance'
Step 251: Get over your fear of bleach. Bleach the whites
Step 284: Keep hydrated, especially on airplanes

On friends
Step 289: Go to places that have the kinds of people you want to be friends with, then ask them on a friend-date if they’re even vaguely promising
Step 294: Find a thirty-something (or older) friend
Step 296: Do well in your long-distance friendships
Step 297: Be a fun-thing initiator
If you want to do more fun things, take some initiative.
Step 299: Pay attention to how your friends show affection AND RECIPROCATE IN THE SAME WAY TO THEM
Step 302: Don’t gossip about a friend with someone who doesn’t love him as much as you do
Step 304: Monitor your friendships like you do romantic relationships
Step 305: Do not treat your friends like your unpaid life coaches
Step 307: Remember that your new love interest is only moderately interesting to your friends
(I WOULD MAKE THIS BOLD IF I COULD)
Step 319: Find a strong, deep sea of insincerity to be sort of sweet to people you dislike

On Love
Step 335: Don’t be unkind to someone because they’re interested in you
Step 339: If you’ve been sexual with someone, treat them with respect and kindness
Step 356: Be cool doing things on your own. Actually cool, not just saying you’re cool
Step 379: Don’t expect “closure,” ever, on anything
Step 382: Forgive yourself if you go a little crazy during heartbreak, they're tough

On ‘Tough Times’
Step 392: Own at least basic first-aid supplies
Step 408: Say the right things when someone has suffered a loss (DON'T TELL THEM ABOUT YOUR LOSS, IT'S PLAIN HURTFUL)
Step 415: Be actually helpful to your friends, rather than vaguely helpful
Offer what you can help with, let them say yes or no

On 'Family'
Step 434: Remember, when you talk to them, that you are not the only person with a life
Step 438: Let them live vicariously through you, and share your triumphs freely
This is actually such an insight. Really, your family will never get bored of you, your stories. They are the ones you need to share the most things with.
Step 463: If someone is constantly passive-aggressive, act dumb and take them at their word

End Note:
I really think it took me more effort to compile these than it took me to go through the book. It's also written in a very-desperately-trying-to-be-cool-nonchalant way. I again re-emphasize, this is a rather silly book. But you might find your own gems in it. So do give it a try!

[Ashlee Bree · Rating 3 out of 5]

What a fun, laugh-out-loud read full of practical and necessary tidbits about what being an adult truly means. Like how we should stop enjoying things "ironically" and simply enjoy them. (Kudos to me for being wholly, completely unapologetic about my nerd status already. Got that one down!) That we need to accept that some people won't like us, never, never will - and that's okay! It's also good to to find the serenity to deal with the assholes of the world, without, you know, become one ourselves. ;)

[MargaretDH · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish I had read this 10 years ago. Not because it doesn't have anything to teach me now, but because it really puts adulthood in persepective: a series of tasks and choices that are often mundane, tedious or downright unpleasant that add up to independence and self-confidence. And all those steps, once broken down, are not really that big a deal!

Williams Brown is funny and compassionate, and this is really cute.

[Ris · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this book up to skim it for a Basic Life Skills program series we're looking to host at my job. (I work at a library.) I ended up spending a lot more time sitting down and actually reading it than I expected to, partially because I just found her amusing and needed a giggle, and there was some useful stuff tucked into it.

Like most books in the self-help genre, this book is not designed to take you from 0-360 overnight. A good chunk of it is common sense, things you've probably heard before but wouldn't think of on your own, and this book is to remind you "Hey idiot, when was the last time you got your oil changed?"

This book is really geared for the just-out-of-college crowd, who have up until now been mostly supervised and whose poor decisions haven't impacted their lives dramatically before--or at least, not badly enough to spill into other people's lives, and therefor impact their relationships with other people. But what's endearing and quirky in college stops being endearing by the time you're 25. And this book is to remind you of that and to point out all the little things we don't do out of laziness that add up and contribute to a pattern of bad habits that can make our lives a lot harder than we realize.

Some of it is just silliness. And she doesn't pretend to present those parts seriously. I liked the tone of the book, because it was like saying "getting your shit together isn't scary. we can still have fun!" but also like... get it together.

Like others, I sort of wish the section about retirement, taxes, 401k, and insurance had been a little more elaborate (those are the "adult" things I don't have a very good grasp on, myself, as someone who grew up with parents who lost those things in the recession). But the cooking section, some of the house maintenance, and the emergency lists were pretty useful for me, especially with parents of the "Give it here, I'll just do it" variety.

And in an age where ghosting people and avoiding confrontation are societal norms, I think more people of all ages could do to read the Friends chapter. We could all do with a reminder of social etiquette in the age of Toxic Internet Culture.