Sugarbabe

by Holly Hill

Attractive, professional, well-spoken, well-dressed 35-year-old woman seeks sugar daddy. I live in Darlinghurst on a 17th floor unit with fantastic skyline views to the harbour. The unit also features very discreet and secure undercover guest parking. I am looking for exclusivity so will (theoretically) be available to you 24 x 7. I am single and don't have any children. I am also a fabulous cook and can provide gourmet meals should you require them. I am a qualified psychologist so I make an excellent listener, and I have a great love of conversation. I have also worked for many years in public relations so am a clever, charming companion in just about any situation. I love sex. I will require a generous weekly allowance in return for all of the above Holly Hill (pseudonym) gave up her job at the behest of her wealthy boyfriend - and then found herself dumped and penniless. After spending six weeks in bed pining for her lost love, she was encouraged by a friend to be 'open-minded' about her career choices - and ended up placing an online ad for a sugar daddy. She received an almost overwhelming response from all sorts of men, but most of them were married men whose wives had lost interest in sex. As Holly interviewed the men and settled on a candidate, she decided to record what happened next. Those almost-daily observations became a journal documenting Holly's extraordinary experiences - not just the men she meets, but the things she finds out about marriages, in particular, and what men need from them. SUGARBABE is her real-life account of the emails, meetings, employment of and interactions with the applicants for the role, and the five men she eventually chooses (not all at the same time!). It is by turns funny, enlightening, challenging and thought-provoking.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography, Chick Lit, Sexuality, Biography Memoir, Audiobook

320 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2008

Reviews

[Anne Marie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Please beware that there are spoilers in this review....






The general premise of the book is that the author decides that she will try to earn her living by hiring a 'sugardaddy' who will pay her for sex and undivided attention.

My first complaint is that the point of the book seems to change over the course of the writing. First, the author is just looking for an employer - a source of cash. Then she decides later on that she is writing a book about how monogamy is unrealistic, and women, most especially women, should stop expecting monogamy from men. According to the author, this will keep women from getting hurt by men if women stop expecting monogamy in the first place.

Then, at the end of the book, the author decides that she actually does want monogamy and finds that her experiment in 'sugardaddy-dom' has not gone exactly to plan. At the close of the book, she is unsure of the next steps in her life.

I don't fault the author in embarking on this journey and coming to the realizations that she does. But I feel that if she had given it a little more time for reflecting, she may have arrived at some very insightful conclusions that could give her, and us, a better understanding of human nature in general. For example, she was unable to ultimately find any man to participate in this type of relationship with her. Some of them agreed to the relationship but soon afterwards (after initial physical contact), they dropped out of the picture, and the author and those men never spoke again. Why? Was it due to human nature of attaining a fantasy you thought you wanted, then getting it, and then realizing it wasn't at all what you wanted? (This was true of at least one guy in the book.) Or is monogamy not as "unnatural" as the author feels it is? Or is there some other reason?

I feel like if the author focused less on herself, and actually put some journalistic work (of which she promises to do in the beginning of the book) into following up with the people that she came into contact with, that this could have been a great book. But instead, as other readers have mentioned, the author is very narcissistic and shallow (every chapter you read about how men stare at her and women glare at her, lol - literally, every chapter), and I feel that I wasted my time reading the book, since there was no satisfying intellectual conclusion to her "experiment."

[Manda · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was just awful! The author claims to be a psychologist but she seems to have way too many issues and not much insight into the arrangement which she is endeavouring to enter. Now I am no expert on the art of arranging a sugar daddy but I suspect that one needs to be reliable and all this woman does is mess potential "clients" about. She has an over inflated ego and is constantly telling the reader that she is irresistible to all men then she gets on her high horse about how men are not monogamous when she is enabling them to cheat. I do not know why I persisted until the end and when I was done I felt like I had wasted time I would never get back. I am sure there must be better books out there about the sugar daddy experience, as for this one I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

[Katie · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don't know. This was my "blind date" from the library, meaning I checked it out without knowing what it was. I might've picked it up on my own, but I'm not sure. I knew early on that it was going to take me out of my comfort zone (it's about a woman who looks for a "sugar daddy," men who will pay her in exchange for sex and other services), but, hey, the narrator talks about open mindedness early on, so I figured I'd read it through. And it's very readable, so that helped.

But . . . here's the thing. Being open minded means being open minded to traditional beliefs like monogamy, too. And she wasn't very open to that. It was all about how that was impractical and biologically improbable. And, hey, some of these things are probably true, but she presented them too much like facts.

She also only interacted with a specific subset of men. There aren't THAT many men as wealthy as the ones she describes here. And her life wasn't very much like mine outside of that either.

So. I'm not sorry I read this, but I wasn't very satisfied with it either. Maybe one star isn't quite the right rating, but that's how I feel.

[Irene · Rating 1 out of 5]

I think that, despite her incessant references to her own startling beauty and impeccable fashion sense (none of which can be corroborated by third parties), she actually may suffer from low self esteem. To think that the key to her happiness is: 1) betwixt her legs and 2)found in a designer boutique, she literally sells herself to whoever comes along with a stuffed envelope. What else can she be other than maybe a little self-loathing? But who knows? In any case, it's her life, her body, and as long as she's not harming anyone (she is not the one that made a commitment to the cuckolded wife, the husband is)...well...

Nevertheless, I think her lame references to "Goddess" instead of "God" is her way of throwing out a feminist red-herring so that the reader could empathize with what she's actually doing--selling herself (short).

Interesting read, but nothing I would recommend to any person I know.

[Liannis · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked up this book out of curiosity about something I don't think I'd be able to do. It was pretty interesting. There is some conflict between her professional training and her quest for sugar daddies, which was interesting at first, but dragged a little later on. Worth a look if you're interested.

[Mickey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Holly Hill was brave to write this book. She takes a very candid, if somewhat narcissistic, look at traditional marriage and the urge for infidelity from the vantage point of the kept woman or sugar baby. I didn't admire what she was doing, and she seemed to strike out a lot with her potential sugar daddies, but I liked the book. Hill's writing style is captivating, her honesty is refreshing, and the story is interesting.

Looks like a lot of people hate this book. But I agree with the reviewers who say it's better than Fifty Shades of Giving Up Everything to a Man. At least Holly is her own boss, and she's in it to advance her own career. The book has done quite well, so look how well that worked!

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I posted this book on my blog because it was set in Australia.

As far as tell all's go this book wasn't bad, but I did feel it was very technical at times. In fact, the book almost felt wordy.

I listened to this book on audio book & I am not sure if I would have felt this way had I read it out right.

That all being said I did laugh at this book a lot. I am a sucker for these "confession" type books, you can't help laugh because deep down you know the situations are true and likely did not need much exaggeration.

Overall this is a fun book but it does move a little slow, there were times I felt myself force through a part, but I am glad I reached the end because I would have missed a lot of laughs.

[lunarlibrarian · Rating 1 out of 5]

Immature writing, immature thinking. Honestly, I was more introspective at 12 then this woman is at 39. She has this obsession with making herself appear extremely sexy and desirable to one and all. True or not, it's just reads as really dumb.
This had a lot of potential -- I wanted to see a glimpse of the sex-for-money standpoint -- but I was sorely let down by this author's loose grasp of authenticity.
I made it through just one of her (extremely glorified and vulgar) sexual encounters. (I'm not one for erotica / romance novels, and this book has reminded me why.)
Take my word for it and Steer Clear.

[Brittany Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

Holly Hill completely changed my outlook on the idea of being a sugar babe/escort. I've always looked at it as making someone into a sleezy, high class prostitute...until now. I think that the world is filled with people who are unhappy in their relationships, and Holly was merely providing a way to help men find their way back into happiness. I do not think it is right to cheat on your partner, but I also think it is unfair to be stuck in a loveless, unhappy marriage just for the sake of staying married. I found it to be very well written, and surprising not smutty, considering the topic. I love most of all that Holly changed my outlook on a taboo subject, and human nature in general.

[Jade17 · Rating 1 out of 5]

From a quick scan of this book, it really is pure drivel. Maybe I could have a new category called 'too-stupid-to-finish'.

[Linda Eckert · Rating 2 out of 5]

Oh man...I really wanted to like this book because I like books based on true stories, and besides, what an unconventional way to make money, am I right??? But sadly, it does not go well for "Holly Hill" (not her real name) at all. This book was just one man after another leaving her hanging for one reason or another. I expected her to have better rules set in place, ways to protect herself financially or otherwise. But no, she just kept getting shafted - no pun intended. She was a champ through and through though, and smart enough to keep a diary of her misfortunes which eventually got her a book deal so, at least there's that. Ha!

[Danielle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Actual rating 2.5

I didn't pick this book up because I thought I would agree with the author's opinions and actions. I picked it up because it was so completely, totally, against everything I stand for, and wanted to see what she actually went through.

To start off, I will say that I found it an enjoyable and enthralling read and so have to give it the rating I have. On the other hand I was rolling my eyes and very much disagreed with her on pretty much every single point she made. She also made me cringe so badly with her very overestimated flattering opinion of herself (and when you Google her, she does NOT meet expectations).

So back to the things I didn't like. Personally I disagree with that sort of a lifestyle. She went drinking as much as possible, did drugs, smoked and slept around. This is coming from a girl who has always been completely monogamous, hardly drinks and has never touched so much as a cigarette (let alone drugs) in my life. So there was that.

Secondly, I am in my final semester of my undergraduate psychology degree, so I understand a fair bit about it. And, honestly, I have no idea how this woman could have been qualified as a psychologist by the APS and retained it. Even before her whole 'death to monogamy, let men sleep around' and 'open mindedness'business, she sounded so off the rails. I get that private time is private, I have no issues with that so long as I don't have to personally be around it or people like that in my life, but as a practicing psychologist she ought to have had some inclination about how things would turn out with her 'John', at the very least. Then there is the rest of the book to contend with!

There is a lot more that I could say about this book, mostly in the negative, but I will leave it as is for now.

To summarise, I was rolling my eyes and wanting to hit my head on the table for much of this book. However, I did very much enjoy reading it. I can't say I would actually recommend it, but it did keep me reading!

[Beck Wierenga · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was not at all what I expected and I found it to be incredibly dull. Based on the topic and the fun cover, I was expecting a salacious memoir filled with fun sugarbaby anecdotes: travel and extravagant gifts and outlandish shopping sprees and glamor... not at all the case. The author is approaching 40 and a psychologist and the book very much reads like it was written by a, well, 40 year old psychologist. The first half of the book is a series of emails between her and potential johns and they are actually incredibly boring to read. Most of the book focuses on the finding and interviewing of johns and even once she starts arrangements, it's a very start and stop process that at no point is really very fun or interesting or lucrative. The money they pay her seems to barely cover her bills and what money is left is spent on expensive food and wine to serve to the sugar daddies. She is broke the entire time. The bulk of the book deals with why men cheat, why it's almost always the wife's fault, and why monogamy is for fools. Also, none of her arrangements are particularly fruitful and most of them *spoiler alert* end up with them telling her almost immediately that she is the best thing that ever happened and has made them happier than ever and has fixed their lives and they want to return to their wives, who they know think are the most beautiful things ever. So. OK. Sure.

[Jessica · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well. In some ways I kind of knew what I was getting into, and in some ways I didn't.

First off, when you take the sex out of this book (there's like sex scenes or masturbation scenes on every page) it's really rather boring. The rest of the book is like, I wore white pants and a brown shirt, or my outfit cost $500. Or, I wore white pants. I wore a tan shirt. I wore my white pants again.

Seriously.

The rest of the book is just her talking to people about being paid for sex and somehow not being able to make ends meet on 2k a week. Seriously, you need to reconsider your living expenses. Plus when she did get money, she blew it all on fancy cheese and wine.

Also, I kept getting confused/annoyed that she was talking about rent and a mortgage due. Does she have a house? And if so, why was she renting? Or was it the same thing, she was just using the word interchangeably? I know it's a weird thing to be annoyed by, but when there's so little to work with besides graphic sex scenes, you kinda dwell on the rest of it. And she mentioned it every chapter.

Her viewpoints on how beautiful she is and how monogamous relationships don't work are too aggressive and repetitive.

Overall, meh. I like the book cover though.

[Sam Still Reading · Rating 1 out of 5]

Didn't like this. Found it to be a continuous justification by the author of what they were doing (looking for a sugardaddy). I don't need to know you're filling a hole in today's society and curing relationship ills. Look in a mirror and tell yourself.

[Chris · Rating 1 out of 5]

don't need to read this trash to provide the rating. she generalizes men based on her own personal experience. gee thanks for the insight.

for the "meat" of the book, check here: http://glo.msn.com/relationships/do-a...

[Emma · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh my goodness! A real eye opener!! Not for the faint hearted - but found it facinating to say the least...

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I don't disagree with the other reviewers' negative opinions about this book and the author, something about it made me keep reading and find it just a little bit fascinating.

[Nicole · Rating 1 out of 5]

Horrible. One of the most annoying characters ever written and if truly based on herself, needs a good look at herself. Would not recommend.

[Stephanie Vogel · Rating 1 out of 5]

Very narcissistic woman who sees herself to be a victim with every event in her life. Quite difficult to read actually.

[Winter Arcane · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's a little strange how much kinship I felt with the author, despite how little we have in common from what I can tell. It's not even that I agreed with her personal takes on relationships very much, as she draws a lot of conclusions that I would happily debate if someone shared them over cocktails. It just feels like there's a lot of similarity in our ways of engaging with the world with a certain degree of arrogance and devil-may-care adventurousness brought on by seeing everything, especially our relationships with other people, in very dramatic terms, while simultaneously being anxious messes going "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit..." the whole time we follow our hearts while our rational brains are telling us eight million ways it could all go horribly wrong.

Anyway, despite having some misgivings about conclusions she draws about marriage and the way she oscillates between feeling bad about being a professional accessory to adultery and blaming women for their husbands lack of faithfulness, I greatly enjoyed reading about her journey into being a Sugar Baby.

She's incredibly intelligent and insightful, rarely dull, and often thought provoking even for someone like me who has never been been monogamous and has been a bottom tier educator for honest non-monogamy for around a quarter century. She's very judgemental towards monogamy and spouts a lot of biological determinism, which is the main thing I found a little grating, but she's nowhere near as obnoxious about it as your average newly polyamorous Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality reader so it didn't bother me too much. She seems to at least leave some room in her world view for the possibility that monogamy might not be the root of all relationship ills.

Honestly, the thing I liked the least about the book had nothing to with the messaging...me disagreeing with some of her opinions doesn't mean I find them terribly offensive and I always leave room in my world view for the possibility that I'm the one whose opinion is wrong (Goddess knows I've held some ludicrous positions in my days). The only parts I seriously didn't care for was a couple of the longer, more graphic sex scenes. I love smut in fiction, but despite the fact that this book is about someone's journey into exchanging sex for money, the length and level of detail felt gratuitous and distracted from the more interesting and entertaining parts of the book. I didn't mind it when it felt like there was a purpose to describing the sex, such as one scene that lead into a consent violation which turns into an STI scare, or when she learns about one of her partners being uncircumcised, which leads into some thoughts and discussion on her experience or lack there of with uncircumcised men. Sometimes, though, it just felt like I'd stumbled onto Literotica.com, without any real insight to keep my interest engaged. The longer the sex scene, the less I felt like I was getting anything of value from hearing about it.

That's really all I have to complain about, and you might not be bothered by these things at all, so I do recommend giving the book a go if you have any interest at all in the subject matter.

[Mike Courson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Book 41 of 2021 (audiobook)
Ha, in an attempt to be cheap I delved into the dirty books on Audible - an accidental stumble at first I swear. There might be some decent lit in there and this one looked to be promising.

I looked at the reviews prior to beginning it and was startled by all the hatred. My confusion only grew as I really enjoyed the first two-thirds of this book. Putting all questions of morality aside, which is not real difficult to do given the hypocrisy of all those moral institutions, the character of Holly engages in some interesting behavior.

As some other reviewers have stated, the book goes in phases. The intro is awful as we learn about the protagonist. It gains steam as she begins her experiment of hiring out herself and her body for $1,000 a week. I found the people she interviews to be very believable. I found their situations to be very believable. As I had previously characterized this behavior in another light, I appreciated this new take on both sides of the behavior.

Things remained interesting as she went from man to man. As this seemed purely transactional and straight-forward, I guess I was surprised at the difficulty of finding steady work. But there are some real gems in there. Real or not, by speaking with various men and friends, there is a lot to be learned about less obvious behaviors that much of society is guilty of.

Finally there is the final fourth of the book. It really went downhill from here. Whereas the first 6o or 70 percent of the book was funny, informative, and interesting, the protagonist used the final fourth to come up with an ending. A little preachy, much of it did not ring true. Worst of all, the character shows a bit of her true nature when one of the males ends up in a modest home. It's the worst thing imaginable for the protagonist. As one who envies the dirtbag climbing lifestyle over that of the wealthy, that really turned me off and shed more light than anything on what the entire story was about. It was not a noble way to pay the rent. It was not an experiment. It was not a way to stay afloat. It was a lazy way to live a lavish lifestyle.

So it's an odd and difficult review in that I did not expect a lot. Hated it when I started it. Really got into it. Then the thing lived up to its poor expectations. It really did have some potential with lots of information and some fun word play.

[Anna Louise · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book clearly took some element of courage to publish - especially under her real name. I wouldn't say the book is awful but it's not something I would recommend to my friends to read. It's an interesting perspective into the life of an escort/sugar baby. In no way at all is this review a judgement of her character or what she chose to do with her life, you go get 'em girlfriend. I just don't rate the writing skills, also the direction of the book. It starts with lots of character development and then ends with 3 chapters of her talking about how she doesn't feel she can keep writing the book, strange way to end things. It was clearly started with no general direction or storyline nor an ending in mind. The author also seems to flip flop between wanting to portray her employment as something to be taken seriously and then to something that is quite shallow. I

[Jennifer · Rating 1 out of 5]

Sugarbabe was an included selection with my Audible membership. With Hill being a psychologist, I’d hoped it would be the provocative social commentary that I found director Diablo Cody’s Candy Girl memoir to be in the early 2000s. (David Letterman had loved her book, and being a memoir junkie, I’d taken his recommendation. At 24 Cody had decided to misspend a year of her youth as a stripper chronicling her sometimes hilarious, often poignantly sad, always candid experiences.) This was not that at all, and the most interesting psychology in this book is how incomparably, threateningly beautiful the author believes she is. But there was no American politics or COVID-19, so 1 star for a brief diversion.

[Amber · Rating 1 out of 5]

This took me ages to read as i had to force myself to keep going. The subject matter interested me but i found the book as boring as watching paint dry. For a professional psychologist to have so many issues and little insight into herself is staggering. The endless references to her ravishing beauty were tedious and she seemed more interested in describing her designer wardrobe and terrible finance managing than really getting into the sugarbabe material. I also found it eye rolling that all the guys she interviewed just happened to be of every colour and creed in a weak attemp at political correctness. Would not recommend to anyone.

[Dani · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book was interesting enough, hearing how empowered Holly became will she went through the process of becoming a sugar baby, but it annoyed me hearing her claim cheating is ok and making excuses. I understand sugar babies tend to have baby daddies that are married, but her reasoning for stating cheating ok doesn't make sense.

Her logic was it's ok to cheat because women as they get older don't want to have sex or get bored of the same penis for life while men are the same way for pussy. That logic works if she was saying polyamory is ok (which is cool with me, I'm monogamous but to each his own) but not cheating? why not just communicate with your partner? Ya know.

[Alexis Gray · Rating 1 out of 5]

I’m not sure how a psychologist wrote this book. She seems to know next to nothing about how relationships and marriages work and talks incessantly about how beautiful she is. Confidence is great, arrogance not so much. I’m shocked that at 39 she seems to know nothing about gay relationships despite “having a ton of gay friends.” This woman must have been living under a rock then suddenly crawled out from under it when deciding to become a sugar baby. It’s interesting to read about her experience but the actual writing isn’t very good.

[Amanda Fulton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Started at a 5 star, the halfway through three-quarters of the way through brought it down to a 3 star as it was redundant and I was over listening to Holly get herself in the same situation over and over again. This portion always made me psycho mad at my man for no reason because in the words of the author "I'm not saying monogamy isn't possible, I'm just saying it isn't probable". The end redeemed 1 star because it did all come full circle, which to me is a key element of a memior. Worth the read, just be prepared to rage in the above mentioned section.

[Bren · Rating 1 out of 5]

Crappy book dont waste your time
And money on this, everything seems made up and un realistic, a very shallow narcisistic author who behaves like a teenager... i expected that she is a a psychologist she would have given us a more deep analysis in the psique of human behavior, not at all other than she praising herself for being hot... common! 🙄

[Christine McIntosh · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an interesting, entertaining, and thought-provoking memoir. I wish she'd had better luck!

It had some very spicy, very detailed scenes. Haha. If she had wanted a wider audience, she should've left those out or had a version without them. A lot of people probably won't read it because of those parts.

Not me. I like the spicy. Haha.