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A Semi-Definitive List of Worst Nightmares
From the author of Our Chemical Hearts comes the hilarious, reality-bending tale of two outsiders facing their greatest fears about life and love one debilitating phobia at a time.
Ever since Esther Solar's grandfather was cursed by Death, everyone in her family has been doomed to suffer one great fear in their lifetime. Esther's father is agoraphobic and hasn't left the basement in six years, her twin brother can t be in the dark without a light on, and her mother is terrified of bad luck.
The Solars are consumed by their fears and, according to the legend of the curse, destined to die from them.
Esther doesn't know what her great fear is yet (nor does she want to), a feat achieved by avoiding pretty much everything. Elevators, small spaces, and crowds are all off-limits. So are haircuts, spiders, dolls, mirrors and three dozen other phobias she keeps a record of in her semi-definitive list of worst nightmares.
Then Esther is pickpocketed by Jonah Smallwood, an old elementary school classmate. Along with her phone, money and a fruit roll-up she d been saving, Jonah also steals her list of fears. Despite the theft, Esther and Jonah become friends, and he sets a challenge for them: in an effort to break the curse that has crippled her family, they will meet every Sunday of senior year to work their way through the list, facing one terrifying fear at a time, including one that Esther hadn't counted on: love.
Ever since Esther Solar's grandfather was cursed by Death, everyone in her family has been doomed to suffer one great fear in their lifetime. Esther's father is agoraphobic and hasn't left the basement in six years, her twin brother can t be in the dark without a light on, and her mother is terrified of bad luck.
The Solars are consumed by their fears and, according to the legend of the curse, destined to die from them.
Esther doesn't know what her great fear is yet (nor does she want to), a feat achieved by avoiding pretty much everything. Elevators, small spaces, and crowds are all off-limits. So are haircuts, spiders, dolls, mirrors and three dozen other phobias she keeps a record of in her semi-definitive list of worst nightmares.
Then Esther is pickpocketed by Jonah Smallwood, an old elementary school classmate. Along with her phone, money and a fruit roll-up she d been saving, Jonah also steals her list of fears. Despite the theft, Esther and Jonah become friends, and he sets a challenge for them: in an effort to break the curse that has crippled her family, they will meet every Sunday of senior year to work their way through the list, facing one terrifying fear at a time, including one that Esther hadn't counted on: love.
349 pages, Paperback
First published September 5, 2017
338 people are currently reading
14243 people want to read
About the author
Krystal Sutherland
9 books4,460 followersKrystal Sutherland is an internationally published author. Her latest novel for young adults, House of Hollow, was released by Penguin in April 2021. Sutherland's first novel, Chemical Hearts, was published in over 20 countries and was named by the American Booksellers Association as one of the best debuts of 2016. The film adaptation, produced by Amazon Studios, stars Lili Reinhart (Riverdale) and Austin Abrams (Dash & Lily); Sutherland served as an executive producer on the project. Her second novel, A Semi-Definitive List of Worst Nightmares, was published to critical acclaim in 2017 and has been optioned for adaptation by Yellow Bird US. In 2018, she appeared on the annual Forbes “30 Under 30” list. Originally from Australia, she has lived on four continents and currently calls London home.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,501 reviews
October 6, 2017
Just one of those books again that rock my world, give it meaning and make me feel whole. Understood.
I don't know where to begin to review this book properly. So many emotions poured out of me whilst reading it and so many thoughts. It might take a while for me to comprehend my feelings and put it in writing.
I think this has to be one of the best YA books that deals with mental illness. Sutherland did her research and she did it well. Trigger warnings for anxiety, self-harm and suicide.
I don't think I'll be able to review it right, so for now what I'll say is this. It's a unique, magical and full of dry humour type story about coming to terms with your fears, however insignificant they may be. The type of fear that paralyses you. Finding out that you're not alone in it. That mental illness needs to be more spoken off and tackled and that most families are broken and parents aren't godlike. That you just need to be you for magic to actually occur. And to make it actually happen.
I don't know where to begin to review this book properly. So many emotions poured out of me whilst reading it and so many thoughts. It might take a while for me to comprehend my feelings and put it in writing.
I think this has to be one of the best YA books that deals with mental illness. Sutherland did her research and she did it well. Trigger warnings for anxiety, self-harm and suicide.
I don't think I'll be able to review it right, so for now what I'll say is this. It's a unique, magical and full of dry humour type story about coming to terms with your fears, however insignificant they may be. The type of fear that paralyses you. Finding out that you're not alone in it. That mental illness needs to be more spoken off and tackled and that most families are broken and parents aren't godlike. That you just need to be you for magic to actually occur. And to make it actually happen.
did-not-finish
February 14, 2019DNF @ 25%. This book had an interesting premise, but it definitely felt like the author was exploiting phobias and mental illness to further the plot. It just.. did not work for me.
February 1, 2020
Oh! My! God! This book was everything to ME! I loved each character and I just can’t people! My reaction in gifs; rinse & repeat!!
Mel 🖤🐶🐺🐾
Mel 🖤🐶🐺🐾
April 13, 2018
“Look, fearless people are stupid, ‘cause they don’t even understand what fear is. You gotta be scared right down to your bones for bravery to mean anything.”
“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”
The Solar family is one of the most extraordinary families you’ll ever meet. A curse seems to run in their veins and each and every member was supposed to be afflicted with one great fear that will deliver the Reaper at their doorstep to ultimately claim their lives at a certain time and it’s up to Esther to find Death (whose figurative and literal representation in the story was so excellently portrayed, I really loved it) by facing her long Semi-Definitive List of Worst Nightmares head on with the solid support of Jonah, a certified pickpocket, magician, artist and a generally effervescent and unpredictable teenage boy who has demons of his own.
The writing is whimsical and really funny, it was almost like reading fantasy or magical-realism. The characters although at some point seemed unbelievable were very well developed and I couldn’t help empathize with each of them. You could just relate with their every thought especially about life but especially about death, the point of living and the sacrifices of loving.
“She couldn’t stop herself from thinking that love was a pitcher plant. Sweet with nectar on the outside, but once you caught the scent and took the plunge, it ate you whole. Soul and all.”
This story is such an elaborate, complex, very original and at the same time really entertaining portrayal of different mental health issues as anxiety, depression, obsession, panic attacks and irrational fears. I almost couldn’t believe the vastness of the author’s accomplishments on the main issue in a single book alone and I would sincerely recommend everyone with or without a mental health issue (although I personally believe everyone kind of does) to read this book.
“Of course it’s not going to be easy. You’re fighting a war against yourself. Every time either side makes ground, you’re the one who gets hurt. But it’s now about winning the war against your demons. It’s about calling a truce and learning how to live with them peacefully. Promise me you’ll keep fighting.”
“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”
The Solar family is one of the most extraordinary families you’ll ever meet. A curse seems to run in their veins and each and every member was supposed to be afflicted with one great fear that will deliver the Reaper at their doorstep to ultimately claim their lives at a certain time and it’s up to Esther to find Death (whose figurative and literal representation in the story was so excellently portrayed, I really loved it) by facing her long Semi-Definitive List of Worst Nightmares head on with the solid support of Jonah, a certified pickpocket, magician, artist and a generally effervescent and unpredictable teenage boy who has demons of his own.
The writing is whimsical and really funny, it was almost like reading fantasy or magical-realism. The characters although at some point seemed unbelievable were very well developed and I couldn’t help empathize with each of them. You could just relate with their every thought especially about life but especially about death, the point of living and the sacrifices of loving.
“She couldn’t stop herself from thinking that love was a pitcher plant. Sweet with nectar on the outside, but once you caught the scent and took the plunge, it ate you whole. Soul and all.”
This story is such an elaborate, complex, very original and at the same time really entertaining portrayal of different mental health issues as anxiety, depression, obsession, panic attacks and irrational fears. I almost couldn’t believe the vastness of the author’s accomplishments on the main issue in a single book alone and I would sincerely recommend everyone with or without a mental health issue (although I personally believe everyone kind of does) to read this book.
“Of course it’s not going to be easy. You’re fighting a war against yourself. Every time either side makes ground, you’re the one who gets hurt. But it’s now about winning the war against your demons. It’s about calling a truce and learning how to live with them peacefully. Promise me you’ll keep fighting.”
August 3, 2024
Esther supposed, as they held each other under a threadbare carpet of stars, that this was how it must always feel in the beginning. Yet even there, next to him, the most excellent person in the universe, she couldn't stop herself from thinking that love was a pitcher plant. Sweet with nectar on the outside, but once you caught the scent and took the plunge, it ate you whole.
Soul and all.
I started out thinking this book was decent, but forgettable. I was wrong. It is AMAZING. A poignant glimpse into what it's like to live with mental illness, sprinkled with a family curse and eerie setting? When I read about the curse in the synopsis, I swear I was about to pack up my things and run (horror really doesn't do it for me) but little by little, page by page, word by word, this book sucked me in and refused to let go until I was hooked.
On the surface, Krystal Sutherland's writing isn't very spectacular. No purple prose, whimsical descriptions or riveting settings. What she does, however, is paint such vivid pictures of characters that you get attached to them. You practically live in their heads, and you love them like they're your own flesh and blood. I love this book so much because I see myself in it. And I loved the concept of the book. Of facing your fears without reservation and without hesitation. Something I'm not fearless enough to do.
I'm scared of the dark. It's a fear that's come and gone as I grew up. I've long suspected my fear of being alone in the dark is likely attributed to something else, because I'm not actually afraid of the dark – I'm afraid of what's inside it. Alone in the dark? I'd run screaming. And the fear has recently returned again. Now I can't watch horror movies or even look at their scenes in the daytime. The last time I was convinced to watch one was a year ago. Afterward, I couldn't sleep for a week. I set up a "fort" in the living room and lay on the couch, convinced the ghost would come for me the minute I closed my eyes. (The movie is The Bridge Curse, if anyone's wondering. It's one of the scariest films I've watched.) And because of that, I felt like Eugene's fear was mine. Sutherland described his phobia of the dark so well that it became personal. Her words dug into some deep and dark place in my soul, the part that believes monsters are real and that allows her mind to spiral into an abyss of fear every night when the lights are off.
She also mentioned something about a "fear of commitment" and how Esther was attempting to "mitigate any future pain" by finding faults with the people she grew close to. By finding excuses to stay away from them, by avoiding intimacy and any deep emotional connection, by cutting off her feelings to preserve her emotional well-being, she insulated herself against pain but also against life.
But perhaps the best part of this book was Esther. Both her inner voice and her unbreakable bond with her twin Eugene. And most of all, how much I saw myself in her, especially towards the end. I'm afraid of being seen for who I am too. I'm self-conscious about public attention too. I push the people I love away too. I'm terrified that the people I care about will leave, so I find excuses to avoid them rather than expressing how much they mean to me. I try to protect myself from hurt and emotional pain too. I have irrational thoughts (exemplified most in how I KNOW there's nothing in the dark, but I'm still afraid) and sometimes I can't block them out too. And that's why I love this book. Because it is so real. Because it has showed me the struggles that people with mental illness face every day. Because I may not be officially diagnosed with mental health issues, but I was still able to relate and empathise with the characters.
Leaving you with a quote from the author's note:
"Mental illness doesn't make you weak, it makes you human... There is no shame in seeking help."
August 26, 2017
I loved this. Like an obsessive I-can't-wait-to-read-it-again sort of love.
I love love loved Esther and Jonah and Eugene. I liked BFF Hephzibah, but she was a little elusive on the page, which was effective when it paired up with how Esther described her. The four of them are loyal and supportive and delightfully strange and I desperately want to hang out with them.
Plot wise, it had ups and downs. There was sweetness and laughter and heartbreak and swoons and pretty much every emotion I had available. I loved the way it progressed and while slow in some scenes, I enjoyed the growth and the revelations.
The ending had me nearly screaming in glee and in frustration all within a paragraph. It could not have been done better. I'm sure this will be a book I pick up again and again.
**Huge thanks to GP Putnam's Sons for providing the arc free of charge**
I love love loved Esther and Jonah and Eugene. I liked BFF Hephzibah, but she was a little elusive on the page, which was effective when it paired up with how Esther described her. The four of them are loyal and supportive and delightfully strange and I desperately want to hang out with them.
Plot wise, it had ups and downs. There was sweetness and laughter and heartbreak and swoons and pretty much every emotion I had available. I loved the way it progressed and while slow in some scenes, I enjoyed the growth and the revelations.
The ending had me nearly screaming in glee and in frustration all within a paragraph. It could not have been done better. I'm sure this will be a book I pick up again and again.
**Huge thanks to GP Putnam's Sons for providing the arc free of charge**
July 11, 2021
"Angst hat allen Menschen, die mir etwas bedeuten, das Leben ruiniert... Ich will nicht werden wie sie. Ich glaube, ich will gar nicht herausfinden, worin meine größte Angst besteht." [S. 90]
Esthers Familie ist verrückt, buchstäblich. Ihr Vater wagt sich seit Jahren nicht mehr aus dem Keller, ihre Mutter fürchtet sich vor allem was Unglück bringen könnte, ihr Bruder hat panische Angst vor der Dunkelheit und ihr Großvater glaubt, er wäre dem leibhaftigen Tod begegnet. Was ihre allergrößte Angst ist weiß Esther nicht, schreibt aber vorsichtshalber alles, was ihr Angst machen könnte, auf eine Liste. Blöd nur, dass ebendiese Liste Jonah, ihrem Schwarm aus Kindertagen, in die Hände fällt, denn der hat nicht vor, die Sache so einfach auf sich beruhen zu lassen.
Ich habe mich schon auf den ersten paar Seiten in das Buch, und vor allen Dingen in die Charaktere, verliebt. Da ich mir vorab ein paar Meinungen zu dem Buch durchgelesen habe, wusste ich, dass in dem Buch psychische Erkrankungen wie Angststörungen, Depressionen und anderes angesprochen werden und war entsprechend vorgewarnt. Ich wünschte ich hätte dieses Buch während meiner Schulzeit lesen können, aber auch Jahre später, hat es mir sehr viel gegeben, Esther - die Angstfresserin - auf ihrem Weg durch die Dunkelheit und zurück zu begleiten. Man merkt dem Buch an, dass der Autorin persönlich sehr daran gelegen ist, aufmerksam zu machen, gegenseitiges Verständnis zu fördern und Hoffnung zu geben. Aber auch der Humor kommt nicht zu kurz und die wunderbare Liebesgeschichte, sowie die besondere Erzählkunst der Autorin sorgen für den Rest. Neben "Mädchen in Scherben" für mich eines der bislang besten YA-Bücher zum Thema "Mental Health" und eine unbedingte Leseempfehlung.
Esthers Familie ist verrückt, buchstäblich. Ihr Vater wagt sich seit Jahren nicht mehr aus dem Keller, ihre Mutter fürchtet sich vor allem was Unglück bringen könnte, ihr Bruder hat panische Angst vor der Dunkelheit und ihr Großvater glaubt, er wäre dem leibhaftigen Tod begegnet. Was ihre allergrößte Angst ist weiß Esther nicht, schreibt aber vorsichtshalber alles, was ihr Angst machen könnte, auf eine Liste. Blöd nur, dass ebendiese Liste Jonah, ihrem Schwarm aus Kindertagen, in die Hände fällt, denn der hat nicht vor, die Sache so einfach auf sich beruhen zu lassen.
Ich habe mich schon auf den ersten paar Seiten in das Buch, und vor allen Dingen in die Charaktere, verliebt. Da ich mir vorab ein paar Meinungen zu dem Buch durchgelesen habe, wusste ich, dass in dem Buch psychische Erkrankungen wie Angststörungen, Depressionen und anderes angesprochen werden und war entsprechend vorgewarnt. Ich wünschte ich hätte dieses Buch während meiner Schulzeit lesen können, aber auch Jahre später, hat es mir sehr viel gegeben, Esther - die Angstfresserin - auf ihrem Weg durch die Dunkelheit und zurück zu begleiten. Man merkt dem Buch an, dass der Autorin persönlich sehr daran gelegen ist, aufmerksam zu machen, gegenseitiges Verständnis zu fördern und Hoffnung zu geben. Aber auch der Humor kommt nicht zu kurz und die wunderbare Liebesgeschichte, sowie die besondere Erzählkunst der Autorin sorgen für den Rest. Neben "Mädchen in Scherben" für mich eines der bislang besten YA-Bücher zum Thema "Mental Health" und eine unbedingte Leseempfehlung.
April 27, 2018
When I started reading this book I thought that it was slow and somewhat boring, but I pushed through and kept reading it. I ended up loving it. Esther and her brother Eugene were great and I absolutely loved them. Tbh I thought that Jonah was a bit of an ass in the beginning but he ended up being one of my favorite characters. I cried when they said that Eugene had died at 17, and I had to close the book when they said that they brought him back twice. This book was funny at some parts and extremely sad at other parts. I enjoyed every moment of it after I got through the beginning. The story of how Esther was getting over her fears with Jonah was kinda adorable. I thought it was adorable that Jonah was always scared doing some of the things, but he did them to help Esther finish her list. He never let her see that he was afraid since if she knew they would have never got anything on the list done. But in the end Esther learned that those things on the list weren't her biggest fear. Her and Jonah's biggest fear was falling in love.
Quotes quotes/parts that I really liked:
1.) “Anxiety felt like a grapnel anchor had been pickaxed into your back, one prong in each lung, one through the heart, one through the spine, the weight curving your posture forward, dragging you down to the murky depths of the sea floor. The good news was that you kind of got used to it after a while. Got used to the gasping, brink-of-heart-attack feeling that followed you everywhere. All you had to do was grab one of the prongs that stuck out from the bottom of your sternum, give it a little shake, and say, “Listen, asshole. We’re not dying. We have shit to do.”
2.) “Everyone we let into our lives has the power to hurt us. Sometimes they will, and sometimes they won't, but that's not a reflection of us, or our strength. Loving someone who hurts you doesn't make you weak.”
3.) “She’d passed the fear barrier, and she’d lived, and she’d discovered not certain death, as she’d imagined, but impossible splendor. What other beautiful things had fear been hiding from her? What else had the curse long kept her from discovering? For the first time in a long time, she wanted to find out.”
4.) “One day,” he said, “everybody’s gonna wake up and realize their parents are human beings, just like them. Sometimes they’re good people, sometimes they’re not.”
5.) “Esther supposed, as they held each other under a threadbare carpet of stars, that this was how it must always feel in the beginning. Yet even there, next to him, the most excellent person in the universe, she couldn’t stop herself from thinking that love was a pitcher plant. Sweet with nectar on the outside, but once you caught the scent and took the plunge, it ate you whole.
6.) “As she fell, Esther wasn’t worried about being blown off course and plummeting into the rocks below. She wasn’t worried about hitting the shallows and pin diving to the ocean floor and shattering her spine. She wasn’t even worried about Cthulhu. (Okay, maybe a little.) What she worried about was Eugene’s willingness to jump. The way he glanced down at the water far below and looked at it like it was home. The way he stepped lightly from the cliff’s edge, and the way he fell through the air faster than she did, dragged down by earth’s magnetic field. The way he flickered in the sunlight as he hit the water, the same way Tyler Durden flashed on-screen four times before you saw him solidly. Foreshadowing the twist to come. Eugene was afraid of demons, and monsters, and above all the dark, but he was not afraid of death. That scared her more than anything.”
7.) “Point is, you gotta be scared. Fear protects you. You gotta be scared right down to your bones" - he touched his fingertips to her collarbone - "for bravery to mean anything.”
8.) “Esther wanted to make her brother understand that he was the sun. That he was bright and burning and brilliant, and without his warmth, without his gravity to orient herself around, she would be nothing. She wished they had that psychic twin thing, that she could push images into his head and make him see. Make him see that he was everything.”
9.) “Once you love someone, no matter who they are, you’ll always let them destroy you. Every single time. Even the very best people found ways to hurt the ones they loved.”
Quotes quotes/parts that I really liked:
1.) “Anxiety felt like a grapnel anchor had been pickaxed into your back, one prong in each lung, one through the heart, one through the spine, the weight curving your posture forward, dragging you down to the murky depths of the sea floor. The good news was that you kind of got used to it after a while. Got used to the gasping, brink-of-heart-attack feeling that followed you everywhere. All you had to do was grab one of the prongs that stuck out from the bottom of your sternum, give it a little shake, and say, “Listen, asshole. We’re not dying. We have shit to do.”
2.) “Everyone we let into our lives has the power to hurt us. Sometimes they will, and sometimes they won't, but that's not a reflection of us, or our strength. Loving someone who hurts you doesn't make you weak.”
3.) “She’d passed the fear barrier, and she’d lived, and she’d discovered not certain death, as she’d imagined, but impossible splendor. What other beautiful things had fear been hiding from her? What else had the curse long kept her from discovering? For the first time in a long time, she wanted to find out.”
4.) “One day,” he said, “everybody’s gonna wake up and realize their parents are human beings, just like them. Sometimes they’re good people, sometimes they’re not.”
5.) “Esther supposed, as they held each other under a threadbare carpet of stars, that this was how it must always feel in the beginning. Yet even there, next to him, the most excellent person in the universe, she couldn’t stop herself from thinking that love was a pitcher plant. Sweet with nectar on the outside, but once you caught the scent and took the plunge, it ate you whole.
6.) “As she fell, Esther wasn’t worried about being blown off course and plummeting into the rocks below. She wasn’t worried about hitting the shallows and pin diving to the ocean floor and shattering her spine. She wasn’t even worried about Cthulhu. (Okay, maybe a little.) What she worried about was Eugene’s willingness to jump. The way he glanced down at the water far below and looked at it like it was home. The way he stepped lightly from the cliff’s edge, and the way he fell through the air faster than she did, dragged down by earth’s magnetic field. The way he flickered in the sunlight as he hit the water, the same way Tyler Durden flashed on-screen four times before you saw him solidly. Foreshadowing the twist to come. Eugene was afraid of demons, and monsters, and above all the dark, but he was not afraid of death. That scared her more than anything.”
7.) “Point is, you gotta be scared. Fear protects you. You gotta be scared right down to your bones" - he touched his fingertips to her collarbone - "for bravery to mean anything.”
8.) “Esther wanted to make her brother understand that he was the sun. That he was bright and burning and brilliant, and without his warmth, without his gravity to orient herself around, she would be nothing. She wished they had that psychic twin thing, that she could push images into his head and make him see. Make him see that he was everything.”
9.) “Once you love someone, no matter who they are, you’ll always let them destroy you. Every single time. Even the very best people found ways to hurt the ones they loved.”
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 10, 2019
...she wondered if people really fell in love with others or if they fell in love with the best parts of themselves.
January 8, 2019
Meh. It was different for sure, but it tried REALLY hard to be different.
This is going to be a tough one to talk about. I really liked it, but I also didn't 100% "get" it either.
A Definitive List of What I Liked:
1. The voice. This book starts out with a strong/humorous voice that drew me in right away. I was intrigued and I felt invested in the characters right from the start. I kind of felt like I started reading in the middle of the book where I already "knew" the characters and felt comfortable in the story. That takes a lot of writing talent to make me feel that way.
2. Twins Esther and Eugene had a bond that warmed the heart. Sometimes it felt a little suffocating (at least for Esther), but it was refreshing to see a sibling relationship in YA where there was genuine love.
3. Esther was real. She was honest and she was a believer. She wasn't beautiful, but she radiated beauty. She was definitely a main character
to remember.
4. The romance was a cute slow burn.
5. If you wade through all the excess in this book, at it's heart it has a really awesome message of opening up and not being afraid to trust yourself.
A Definitive List of What I Didn't Like:
1. This book was completely, 1000% over-the-top. I know a lot of people will appreciate all the quirky characters, but I thought things needed scaled back. For example, all the characters have multiple major issues and oddities. ALL. Not only does Esther have random fears (such as lobsters and moths), but she also dresses in costume everyday. Not only does Jonah pickpocket, paint, edit videos, and do stage makeup-- he also dresses like a bad 70's sitcom. Eugene can't be out of the light, their dad can't come up from basement, their mom gambles and sews coins into her clothes and collects "lucky" animals, and none of them will go to the second story of their house (or the doctor which was badly needed).
2. I guess what I'm saying is I felt like this book was weird for the sake of being weird-- and I prefer my weirdness to feel more organic and not forced in.
3. The blur between mental illness and OTHER. If it's mental illness, let's treat it like mental illness. This book was all about confronting fears and finding the personification of death, but what it really should've been about it is the mental health of everyone besides Jonah. And Jonah needed a different kind of help that he never got.
4. Adults making kids mentally unhealthy. What is never addressed is the fact that the parents and grandparents of this book turned normal kids into basket cases. I know there is a genetic component to mental health, but I don't think it's right for them to push their kids into it-- which is 100% what I felt like was happening.
5. Social services needed to be involved in all the households in this book.
6. This book just tried SO HARD to be different and cool and I hate try hards.
7. POSSIBLE SPOILER: These people had COMPLICATED issues, and there's no way they were all going to magically get better (or be on the road to getting better) at the same time.
Looking at this, it seems like my list of things I didn't like is longer than my list of what I did like. Bummer. I did love the way this story was told and the author's writing style, but it was all just too much for me. It was a good mix of fun and serious, but it was over-the-top. If it was scaled back a few steps, I may have been more in love. But I still recommend to people wanting to read about unique characters and a cool writing style.
OVERALL: I'm torn between loving the writing and the way I became immersed in the story from the first page, and being annoyed at the over-the-top everything in this book. I think it's a book a lot of people will love and find adorably cute, so I will recommend it to romance and people who can just let their imaginations go.
My Blog:
Pink Polka Dot Books
This is going to be a tough one to talk about. I really liked it, but I also didn't 100% "get" it either.
A Definitive List of What I Liked:
1. The voice. This book starts out with a strong/humorous voice that drew me in right away. I was intrigued and I felt invested in the characters right from the start. I kind of felt like I started reading in the middle of the book where I already "knew" the characters and felt comfortable in the story. That takes a lot of writing talent to make me feel that way.
2. Twins Esther and Eugene had a bond that warmed the heart. Sometimes it felt a little suffocating (at least for Esther), but it was refreshing to see a sibling relationship in YA where there was genuine love.
3. Esther was real. She was honest and she was a believer. She wasn't beautiful, but she radiated beauty. She was definitely a main character
to remember.
4. The romance was a cute slow burn.
5. If you wade through all the excess in this book, at it's heart it has a really awesome message of opening up and not being afraid to trust yourself.
A Definitive List of What I Didn't Like:
1. This book was completely, 1000% over-the-top. I know a lot of people will appreciate all the quirky characters, but I thought things needed scaled back. For example, all the characters have multiple major issues and oddities. ALL. Not only does Esther have random fears (such as lobsters and moths), but she also dresses in costume everyday. Not only does Jonah pickpocket, paint, edit videos, and do stage makeup-- he also dresses like a bad 70's sitcom. Eugene can't be out of the light, their dad can't come up from basement, their mom gambles and sews coins into her clothes and collects "lucky" animals, and none of them will go to the second story of their house (or the doctor which was badly needed).
2. I guess what I'm saying is I felt like this book was weird for the sake of being weird-- and I prefer my weirdness to feel more organic and not forced in.
3. The blur between mental illness and OTHER. If it's mental illness, let's treat it like mental illness. This book was all about confronting fears and finding the personification of death, but what it really should've been about it is the mental health of everyone besides Jonah. And Jonah needed a different kind of help that he never got.
4. Adults making kids mentally unhealthy. What is never addressed is the fact that the parents and grandparents of this book turned normal kids into basket cases. I know there is a genetic component to mental health, but I don't think it's right for them to push their kids into it-- which is 100% what I felt like was happening.
5. Social services needed to be involved in all the households in this book.
6. This book just tried SO HARD to be different and cool and I hate try hards.
7. POSSIBLE SPOILER: These people had COMPLICATED issues, and there's no way they were all going to magically get better (or be on the road to getting better) at the same time.
Looking at this, it seems like my list of things I didn't like is longer than my list of what I did like. Bummer. I did love the way this story was told and the author's writing style, but it was all just too much for me. It was a good mix of fun and serious, but it was over-the-top. If it was scaled back a few steps, I may have been more in love. But I still recommend to people wanting to read about unique characters and a cool writing style.
OVERALL: I'm torn between loving the writing and the way I became immersed in the story from the first page, and being annoyed at the over-the-top everything in this book. I think it's a book a lot of people will love and find adorably cute, so I will recommend it to romance and people who can just let their imaginations go.
My Blog:
Pink Polka Dot Books
December 5, 2024
"Das, wovor du Angst hast, zerstört dein Leben, bis es dich schließlich umbringt." (S. 42)
Was für ein wahnsinnig tolles Buch, das sowohl witzig und skurril als auch ernst und tragisch ist. Ich hatte sogar eine Träne im Auge, obwohl mir das beim Lesen nur sehr selten passiert. Nur an der deutschen Aufmachung muss ich rummeckern, denn die ist einfach maximal unpassend. Das Cover lässt eine locker-leichte 08/15 Jugendliebesgeschichte vermuten und bildet in keiner Weise die Inhalte des Buches ab, die auch maßgeblich psychische Erkrankungen und Tod umfassen. Ich habe mir das Buch geholt, weil ich viel von der Autorin halte und wusste auch worauf ich mich einlasse, aber wer sich auf das Cover verlässt, ist von der tatsächlichen Geschichte sicher überrascht. Ansonsten war "Es muss ja nicht perfekt sein" doch ziemlich perfekt für mich und wird sicher zu meinen Jahresfavoriten zählen. Außerdem hat mich alles rund um die "verfluchte" und schräge Familie total an das Videospiel "What Remains of Edith Finch" erinnert, was auch noch mal ein riesiger Pluspunkt war.
Was für ein wahnsinnig tolles Buch, das sowohl witzig und skurril als auch ernst und tragisch ist. Ich hatte sogar eine Träne im Auge, obwohl mir das beim Lesen nur sehr selten passiert. Nur an der deutschen Aufmachung muss ich rummeckern, denn die ist einfach maximal unpassend. Das Cover lässt eine locker-leichte 08/15 Jugendliebesgeschichte vermuten und bildet in keiner Weise die Inhalte des Buches ab, die auch maßgeblich psychische Erkrankungen und Tod umfassen. Ich habe mir das Buch geholt, weil ich viel von der Autorin halte und wusste auch worauf ich mich einlasse, aber wer sich auf das Cover verlässt, ist von der tatsächlichen Geschichte sicher überrascht. Ansonsten war "Es muss ja nicht perfekt sein" doch ziemlich perfekt für mich und wird sicher zu meinen Jahresfavoriten zählen. Außerdem hat mich alles rund um die "verfluchte" und schräge Familie total an das Videospiel "What Remains of Edith Finch" erinnert, was auch noch mal ein riesiger Pluspunkt war.
December 16, 2018
Review posted on Fafa's Book Corner!
Beware spoilers ahead!
Trigger warning: Death, mention of murder's, physical violence, mention of war, mention of kidnapping, suicide attempt, mention of critically injured animal, and abusive parent.
The Solar family has been cursed by death. During their grandfather's war days, he met death. Not just once but many times. Death cursed the Solar family to die from a fear. Hence why Esther Solar made a list of fears. Then she meets Jonah, a childhood friend. Much to her surprise he robs her. The two meet again with Jonah promising to help Esther conquer her list.
In 2016 Sutherland released her debut. I didn't much care for it. I decided to check out this book because the synopsis sounded good. I am happy to say that I enjoyed it!
The book is written in third person omniscient following Esther and flashbacks of her grandfather with death. There is one scene that is narrated from Death's point of view. The chapters are titled based off a fear of Esther's. Some chapters just have titles that don't pertain to Esther's list.
I'm really happy that I gave this book a shot! It was good and I enjoyed the magical realism aspect a lot. Even the family and friendship dynamics. I also felt that the author excelled at portraying mental health.
I liked Esther! She was a great character. I especially loved her growth and that she ended up loving herself. Esther's list of fears is based on things she's seen on tv and heard stories about. The list was quite interesting. And you can honestly fear most of it. By the end she did love and acknowledge every aspect of herself.
I liked Eugene a lot. He is Esther's twin. He spends a lot of his time trying to convince Esther that the curse isn't real. That their family has mental illnesses. The two have a really close bond. And it was nice to read about.
Esther doesn't have the best relationship with her parents. Her father never leaves their basement. There's a bathroom and food gets brought down. Meanwhile their mother who used to be so strong isn't anymore. Their mother spends her time gambling. Her top concern is their money. Esther is torn up over her parents and doesn't know what to do.
Hephzibah is Esther's best friend. The two of them used to be friends with Jonah and met each other in school. Esther has never heard Hephzibah speak. The two communicate in sign language and text messages. I enjoyed their friendship!
Jonah and Esther of course didn't have a good introduction. When Esther sees him again she punches him. Which was justified. Things happen and the two come to an agreement. Their relationship was so cute! I really enjoyed the two of them tackling the list. Jonah and Esther were rocks for each other. They really helped each other grow. And they were such a cute couple!
Death was such a nice connection! I enjoyed reading the flashbacks with him and their grandfather. It was a nice touch of magical realism. And brought the grandfather as a character. In present day the grandfather is dying. There were a lot of good quotes with their conversations. And the topic of death was tackled in such an interesting manner.
I especially liked that at the end all the characters are still struggling with their mental health. Eugene and Esther decide to go get therapy. Yay for positive therapy rep! Their family is still struggling. The relationship to one-another makes them so strong. Jonah doesn't just magically cure Esther. She is still working on it.
Overall I really enjoyed this book! I highly recommend.
Beware spoilers ahead!
Trigger warning: Death, mention of murder's, physical violence, mention of war, mention of kidnapping, suicide attempt, mention of critically injured animal, and abusive parent.
The Solar family has been cursed by death. During their grandfather's war days, he met death. Not just once but many times. Death cursed the Solar family to die from a fear. Hence why Esther Solar made a list of fears. Then she meets Jonah, a childhood friend. Much to her surprise he robs her. The two meet again with Jonah promising to help Esther conquer her list.
In 2016 Sutherland released her debut. I didn't much care for it. I decided to check out this book because the synopsis sounded good. I am happy to say that I enjoyed it!
The book is written in third person omniscient following Esther and flashbacks of her grandfather with death. There is one scene that is narrated from Death's point of view. The chapters are titled based off a fear of Esther's. Some chapters just have titles that don't pertain to Esther's list.
I'm really happy that I gave this book a shot! It was good and I enjoyed the magical realism aspect a lot. Even the family and friendship dynamics. I also felt that the author excelled at portraying mental health.
I liked Esther! She was a great character. I especially loved her growth and that she ended up loving herself. Esther's list of fears is based on things she's seen on tv and heard stories about. The list was quite interesting. And you can honestly fear most of it. By the end she did love and acknowledge every aspect of herself.
I liked Eugene a lot. He is Esther's twin. He spends a lot of his time trying to convince Esther that the curse isn't real. That their family has mental illnesses. The two have a really close bond. And it was nice to read about.
Esther doesn't have the best relationship with her parents. Her father never leaves their basement. There's a bathroom and food gets brought down. Meanwhile their mother who used to be so strong isn't anymore. Their mother spends her time gambling. Her top concern is their money. Esther is torn up over her parents and doesn't know what to do.
Hephzibah is Esther's best friend. The two of them used to be friends with Jonah and met each other in school. Esther has never heard Hephzibah speak. The two communicate in sign language and text messages. I enjoyed their friendship!
Jonah and Esther of course didn't have a good introduction. When Esther sees him again she punches him. Which was justified. Things happen and the two come to an agreement. Their relationship was so cute! I really enjoyed the two of them tackling the list. Jonah and Esther were rocks for each other. They really helped each other grow. And they were such a cute couple!
Death was such a nice connection! I enjoyed reading the flashbacks with him and their grandfather. It was a nice touch of magical realism. And brought the grandfather as a character. In present day the grandfather is dying. There were a lot of good quotes with their conversations. And the topic of death was tackled in such an interesting manner.
I especially liked that at the end all the characters are still struggling with their mental health. Eugene and Esther decide to go get therapy. Yay for positive therapy rep! Their family is still struggling. The relationship to one-another makes them so strong. Jonah doesn't just magically cure Esther. She is still working on it.
Overall I really enjoyed this book! I highly recommend.
October 15, 2017
This book left a sour taste in my mouth.
read-later
March 2, 2018I am having trouble getting into the book because I am not in the mood to read a romance.
I do plan on picking this up again.
I do plan on picking this up again.
October 2, 2017
Anxiety felt like a grapnel anchor had been pickaxed into your back, one prong in each lung, one through the heart, one through the spine, the weight curving your posture forward, dragging you down to the murky depths of the sea floor.
this book was enjoyable for the most part even though it did take me a little bit to get into the story and the characters, i did find myself putting the book down way to easily and stepping away which annoyed me because i want a book to capture me all the way through.
TRIGGER WARNING: anxiety, depression, abuse and suicide.
Well this book turned out to be a hell of a lot darker than i was expecting it to be and wow i am left shocked and still trying to wrap my head around what happened.
Plot: This book follows Esther Solar who is a quirky teenager who lives in a family who is ruled by different fears that have taken up this entire families lives. Esther has made a list of what fears she that most trouble her and it shows how differently these different fears effect her mental wellbeing. This story starts of simple and straight to the point but the plot for me i had trouble trying to get myself emotionally involved but there are events in this book that seriously struck a cord with me and left me with this huge impact that i was not expecting. One thing that i was extremely felt sorry for the entire family is how these fears really impacted and changed this entire family and how day to day task were effected because once you get something into your head its so hard to shake off.
Characters:
Esther Solar: Esther was a quirky and loving main character and i enjoyed reading her story and getting to know her through the course of the book. The changes this character goes through the entire book was impressive and she does really try and beat whatever she's faced with. Esther was flawed and real and to me can be relatable for so many people because there are so many people who suffer with mental illness and fears that impact them daily.
Jonah: I enjoyed Jonah because he like Esther was really flawed and tried so much to help her overcome these fears and try to teach her that those fears are more than her. I loved how he wanted to help her with the whole 50 fears and 50 weeks challenge he set Esther was impressive and i felt really helped her in some way.
Eugene: Eugene is Esther's twin brother and his biggest fear is darkness and i loved how this fear troubled him for some time and i honestly get it and i feel incredibly sad that this character had to deal with this fear because it's truly a scary thing to have to go through. One thing that made my skin go cold is when Eugene says he can see the demons that lurk in the darkness and that truly terrified me.
My own fears: I like most people have fears that is just a common thing people have to deal with and i have some of my own that i would like to share in my review since finishing this book.
- Heights: one of my biggest fears that i have dealt with my entire life is heights i cannot stand to be in high places, examples would be on a tall ladder or tall building i begin to freak myself out and my anxiety levels go into overdrive.
- Snakes: usually people say they're scared of spiders but i can handle them but for me its snakes that terrify me and i am petrified of them and if someone was to ask me what my boggart would be a snake and i honestly would be terrified if i was ever faced in that situation.
fair warning before going into this book is that this book deals with some extremely trigger warning as it deals with such issues as Anxiety, depression, abuse and suicide so please be warned before going into this book however i feel that Krystal did an excellent job in writing this story and dealing with these topics that you'll be happy with how she handled it as i was.
this book was enjoyable for the most part even though it did take me a little bit to get into the story and the characters, i did find myself putting the book down way to easily and stepping away which annoyed me because i want a book to capture me all the way through.
TRIGGER WARNING: anxiety, depression, abuse and suicide.
Well this book turned out to be a hell of a lot darker than i was expecting it to be and wow i am left shocked and still trying to wrap my head around what happened.
Plot: This book follows Esther Solar who is a quirky teenager who lives in a family who is ruled by different fears that have taken up this entire families lives. Esther has made a list of what fears she that most trouble her and it shows how differently these different fears effect her mental wellbeing. This story starts of simple and straight to the point but the plot for me i had trouble trying to get myself emotionally involved but there are events in this book that seriously struck a cord with me and left me with this huge impact that i was not expecting. One thing that i was extremely felt sorry for the entire family is how these fears really impacted and changed this entire family and how day to day task were effected because once you get something into your head its so hard to shake off.
Characters:
Esther Solar: Esther was a quirky and loving main character and i enjoyed reading her story and getting to know her through the course of the book. The changes this character goes through the entire book was impressive and she does really try and beat whatever she's faced with. Esther was flawed and real and to me can be relatable for so many people because there are so many people who suffer with mental illness and fears that impact them daily.
Jonah: I enjoyed Jonah because he like Esther was really flawed and tried so much to help her overcome these fears and try to teach her that those fears are more than her. I loved how he wanted to help her with the whole 50 fears and 50 weeks challenge he set Esther was impressive and i felt really helped her in some way.
Eugene: Eugene is Esther's twin brother and his biggest fear is darkness and i loved how this fear troubled him for some time and i honestly get it and i feel incredibly sad that this character had to deal with this fear because it's truly a scary thing to have to go through. One thing that made my skin go cold is when Eugene says he can see the demons that lurk in the darkness and that truly terrified me.
My own fears: I like most people have fears that is just a common thing people have to deal with and i have some of my own that i would like to share in my review since finishing this book.
- Heights: one of my biggest fears that i have dealt with my entire life is heights i cannot stand to be in high places, examples would be on a tall ladder or tall building i begin to freak myself out and my anxiety levels go into overdrive.
- Snakes: usually people say they're scared of spiders but i can handle them but for me its snakes that terrify me and i am petrified of them and if someone was to ask me what my boggart would be a snake and i honestly would be terrified if i was ever faced in that situation.
fair warning before going into this book is that this book deals with some extremely trigger warning as it deals with such issues as Anxiety, depression, abuse and suicide so please be warned before going into this book however i feel that Krystal did an excellent job in writing this story and dealing with these topics that you'll be happy with how she handled it as i was.
October 10, 2019
“Point is, you gotta be scared. Fear protects you. You gotta be scared right down to your bones" - he touched his fingertips to her collarbone - "for bravery to mean anything.”Buy This Book 📖
📚 Series: No.
📚 Genre: YA Contemporary.
📚 POV: Third person.
📚 Cliffhanger: No.
⚠ Content Warnings: Mental disorders. Anxiety. Depression. Physical abuse. Suicide.
⚠ Read if: you like to read a weirdly charming YA book.
A few weeks ago, I read Our Chemical Hearts by Krystal Sutherland and I loved it so much. This is mainly the reason why I decided to pick this book up.
If I were to describe this read in one sentence, it's this: This book is quirky, weird, cute, dark and light all rolled into one.
It talks about the story of Esther Solar and the curse of having one great fear in her family. Her twin is afraid of the dark. Her father never leaves the basement. Her mother is obsessed with luck.
So far, Esther has survived without having a fear. And mainly, this is because of her Semi-Definitive List of Worst Nightmares.
Then she meet-cutes with former childhood classmate/defender Jonah. Eventually, they decided to tackle on Esther's list and help her find her one great fear.
Okay, as someone who had to deal with bouts of anxiety all throughout my life, I have to admit that I can relate to many things in book.
Not the wearing costumes part. Not in the phobias. But mainly, on how my emotions and thought processes work. This book was so real in the depiction of how anxiety feels and it can get really dark at times. The descriptions made by the author felt so genuine and honest, in my opinion.
Additionally, there's power in this author's writing style that made me want to keep on reading and get lost in the world that she built. Her writing is so vivid that I feel like I'm watching a movie in my head.
Also, the romance part of this book had a nice build up. Esther and Jonah complemented each other well and I loved how their story unfolded.
Overall, I loved how this book combined a little magic, mystery, romance, real issues, humor, family, and a whole lot of love into one unforgettable story.
☁ THE CRITERIA ☁
🌼 Blurb:⭐⭐⭐⭐☆
🌼 Main Character:⭐⭐⭐⭐☆
🌼 Significant Other: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
🌼 Support Characters:⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
🌼 Writing Style:⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
🌼 Character Development:⭐⭐⭐⭐☆
🌼 Romance: ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆
🌼 Pacing: ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆
🌼 Ending: ⭐⭐⭐☆☆
🌼 Unputdownability: ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆
🌼 Book Cover:⭐⭐⭐⭐☆
🌼 Audiobook Production: ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆
☁FINAL VERDICT: 4.17/5 ☁
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July 8, 2018
Very funny and deeply sad, deftly combining a broken family history that evolves into a curse of supernatural origin with the satisfying trope of teens working their way through a bucket list: facing heroine Esther's potential mortal fears, ranging from the relatively benign (lobsters, moths) to the genuinely dangerous (cliff diving, lightning). She believes that by cataloguing every potentially scary thing and avoiding it forever, she might be able to dodge the grip of the Big Bad Fear that would destroy her life, as mortal fears have done done to her father, a basement-bound agoraphobic; her brother, whose pathological terror of the dark may cover a more difficult truth about his mental health; and her mother, who has destroyed the family's finances with her gambling addiction and twisted pursuit of "good luck."
But Esther changes her tune when she reunites with childhood friend Jonah (meet-cute: he picks her pockets), deciding that chasing death down is preferable to hiding from him--or, rather, chasing Death down, as embodied by the ageless apprentice reaper her grandfather once met as an officer in the Vietnam War. That meeting kicked off the curse, when her grandfather foolishly asked for intel on what would one day kill him. The answer to his question hardened into a mortal phobia, the tendency for which he passed down through two generations and counting.
The bucket list concept could easily turn toward quirk, supporting a sweet, appealing love story about facing your fears. But Sutherland instead digs into the costs of mental illness, on the sufferers and on the people who love them. But did I mention it's also FUNNY? And full of beautiful prose. Read it.
But Esther changes her tune when she reunites with childhood friend Jonah (meet-cute: he picks her pockets), deciding that chasing death down is preferable to hiding from him--or, rather, chasing Death down, as embodied by the ageless apprentice reaper her grandfather once met as an officer in the Vietnam War. That meeting kicked off the curse, when her grandfather foolishly asked for intel on what would one day kill him. The answer to his question hardened into a mortal phobia, the tendency for which he passed down through two generations and counting.
The bucket list concept could easily turn toward quirk, supporting a sweet, appealing love story about facing your fears. But Sutherland instead digs into the costs of mental illness, on the sufferers and on the people who love them. But did I mention it's also FUNNY? And full of beautiful prose. Read it.
February 22, 2018
another typical mental breakdown book. similar to all the bright places. bit boring and predictable.
i can related to anxiety. but i can not related to esther. somehow her anxiety is just too strange for me to understand.
jonah is a darling though.
i can related to anxiety. but i can not related to esther. somehow her anxiety is just too strange for me to understand.
jonah is a darling though.
April 27, 2019
Credeam că o să fie o lectură amuzantă și un roman despre prietenie, iubire, fobii și coșmaruri, dar Krystal Sutherland te lovește fix când te aștepți cel mai puțin. Te sperie. Te șochează. Și încearcă să te distrugă, de parcă ești un alt punct ce trebuie să fie șters de pe lista lui Esther Solar.
Am un gol în stomac și îmi vine să râd. Autoarea a șters cu viclenie granița dintre realitate și ficțiune până în punctul în care nu mai știam ce personaje sunt reale sau ce se va întâmpla în continuare. Magia care îi unește pe membrii familiei Solar, blestemul, Moartea, crimele și legătura absolut mi-nu-na-tă dintre Esther și Jonah m-au ținut trează până la trei dimineață, când mă uitam cu nostalgie la pisica de pe copertă, uimită de plot twist-ul de la final.
„O listă semidefinitivă a celor mai îngrozitoare coșmaruri” este o poveste de iubire, un strigăt de ajutor, o provocare periculoasă și un joc lipsit de reguli. Este o carte tragică și înspăimântătoare, care te îndeamnă să îți privești temerile în ochi și să le trăiești. Nu să le învingi sau să le ignori. Să le trăiești. Alături de un frate speriat de întuneric, de o prietenă care refuză să vorbească și de un infractor c(h)arismatic, care îți fură inima din primul capitol.
Superbă.
P.S.: Unde sunt adulții responsabili când ai nevoie de ei?
Am un gol în stomac și îmi vine să râd. Autoarea a șters cu viclenie granița dintre realitate și ficțiune până în punctul în care nu mai știam ce personaje sunt reale sau ce se va întâmpla în continuare. Magia care îi unește pe membrii familiei Solar, blestemul, Moartea, crimele și legătura absolut mi-nu-na-tă dintre Esther și Jonah m-au ținut trează până la trei dimineață, când mă uitam cu nostalgie la pisica de pe copertă, uimită de plot twist-ul de la final.
„O listă semidefinitivă a celor mai îngrozitoare coșmaruri” este o poveste de iubire, un strigăt de ajutor, o provocare periculoasă și un joc lipsit de reguli. Este o carte tragică și înspăimântătoare, care te îndeamnă să îți privești temerile în ochi și să le trăiești. Nu să le învingi sau să le ignori. Să le trăiești. Alături de un frate speriat de întuneric, de o prietenă care refuză să vorbească și de un infractor c(h)arismatic, care îți fură inima din primul capitol.
Superbă.
P.S.: Unde sunt adulții responsabili când ai nevoie de ei?
August 9, 2017
I really, really liked this one. Full review to come!
Trigger warnings for: suicide attempt, mentions of death & suicide, domestic abuse, physical abuse
Trigger warnings for: suicide attempt, mentions of death & suicide, domestic abuse, physical abuse
November 7, 2017
This started out as a quirky young adult, friends to possibly more tale and built into a pretty deep and messy story about family and mental health issues. I have to say I normally avoid books about this topic simply because I read to relax and they don't do that. But here those issues were mixed well with an array of quirky characters, a bit of romance and the realisation that all families have issues and parents are people too with flaws. That can be a big revelation for some teenagers so I felt that was very fitting and I have to give this author credit for making me feel the whole range of emotions and using the quirky nature of the people to fit in some deep issues that (thankfully) are being talked about more openly these days.
It's a 3.5 from me and not a 4 simply because that something extra was missing and several parts were slow. Would definitely recommend to anyone that likes deeper meaning to their YA reads instead of fluffy romance.
It's a 3.5 from me and not a 4 simply because that something extra was missing and several parts were slow. Would definitely recommend to anyone that likes deeper meaning to their YA reads instead of fluffy romance.
October 31, 2024
3,5 stelute 😊
O lectura foarte placuta si emotionanta, chiar daca temele abordate sunt foarte serioase (anxietatea, dependenta, sanatatea psihica si violenta domestica).
Personajele sunt usor de indragit, mai ales ca dinamica dintre ele pare foarte naturala. Mi-au adus multe zambete multitudinea de referinte culturale - umorul a fost un alt motiv pentru care am apreciat acesta poveste.
In schimb, am simtit finalul un pic grabit - mi-ar fi placut sa fie putin mai detaliat.
O lectura foarte placuta si emotionanta, chiar daca temele abordate sunt foarte serioase (anxietatea, dependenta, sanatatea psihica si violenta domestica).
Personajele sunt usor de indragit, mai ales ca dinamica dintre ele pare foarte naturala. Mi-au adus multe zambete multitudinea de referinte culturale - umorul a fost un alt motiv pentru care am apreciat acesta poveste.
In schimb, am simtit finalul un pic grabit - mi-ar fi placut sa fie putin mai detaliat.
August 28, 2017
3.5 stars
A Semi-Definite List of Worst Nightmares was definitely not what I expected. I was expecting a regular contemporary novel about mental health, and instead I got a story about a family reminiscent of The Addams Family. I actually really liked this. It was surprising and unconventional and different, while still remaining true to the heart of mental illness stories.
I always love reading books with bucket lists and to-do lists, so reading about Esther tackling her fears one by one was a really fun experience. She also didn't do things alone - she had help from her brother Eugene, her friend Hephzibah, and a precious bean by the name of Jonah Smallwood. Who would ever think that one could fall in love with the boy who pickpocketed your phone and your stash of Fruit Roll-Ups?
I loved her relationship with her twin brother Eugene, and how the story didn't shy away from his depression. She often talked about how she wished the depression were a physical thing, something to be wrapped up and bandaged like a wound, and how people got bored of mental health when they figured out they couldn't help, and it was phrases like that that made this book feel very accurate.
The stories about The Man Who Would Be Death were also very interesting, and basically I loved everything Jonah Smallwood.
Overall, there were a lot of things to love about this book; I think the crappy format kept me from really falling into this story which is why it's not a solid four stars. But this is definitely one to remember.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with a copy
A Semi-Definite List of Worst Nightmares was definitely not what I expected. I was expecting a regular contemporary novel about mental health, and instead I got a story about a family reminiscent of The Addams Family. I actually really liked this. It was surprising and unconventional and different, while still remaining true to the heart of mental illness stories.
I always love reading books with bucket lists and to-do lists, so reading about Esther tackling her fears one by one was a really fun experience. She also didn't do things alone - she had help from her brother Eugene, her friend Hephzibah, and a precious bean by the name of Jonah Smallwood. Who would ever think that one could fall in love with the boy who pickpocketed your phone and your stash of Fruit Roll-Ups?
I loved her relationship with her twin brother Eugene, and how the story didn't shy away from his depression. She often talked about how she wished the depression were a physical thing, something to be wrapped up and bandaged like a wound, and how people got bored of mental health when they figured out they couldn't help, and it was phrases like that that made this book feel very accurate.
The stories about The Man Who Would Be Death were also very interesting, and basically I loved everything Jonah Smallwood.
Overall, there were a lot of things to love about this book; I think the crappy format kept me from really falling into this story which is why it's not a solid four stars. But this is definitely one to remember.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with a copy
March 3, 2022
“O listă semidefinitivă a celor mai îngrozitoare coșmaruri” este cartea care s-ar putea să îmi fi diminuat fricile. Chiar dacă nu le-a șters de tot, măcar le-a mai scăzut din intensitate. Da, am frici mai mult sau mai puțin importante. Nu se ridică la nivelul celor din carte, din fericire, dar cunosc persoane care sunt în acea zonă.
Din modul în care am început cred că v-ați dat seama că această carte este un pic mai mult decât o copertă frumoasă și un titlu lung cât toate zilele de post. Nu rezonez absolut deloc cu cărțile de dezvoltare personală fiindcă am impresia că mereu se învârt în jurul cozii și în final nu ajung la nicio concluzie.
Aici intervin lecturile ca aceasta, care îți trântește în față problema, ți-o exemplifică și îți mai și oferă o rezolvare. Este fină linia dintre ficțiunea cărții și realitatea noastră, atât de subțire că uneori nici nu realizezi că te identifici cu ceea ce este prezentat.
Mai multe am scris pe blog ⬇️
https://cartoteka.ro/recenzie-o-lista...
Din modul în care am început cred că v-ați dat seama că această carte este un pic mai mult decât o copertă frumoasă și un titlu lung cât toate zilele de post. Nu rezonez absolut deloc cu cărțile de dezvoltare personală fiindcă am impresia că mereu se învârt în jurul cozii și în final nu ajung la nicio concluzie.
Aici intervin lecturile ca aceasta, care îți trântește în față problema, ți-o exemplifică și îți mai și oferă o rezolvare. Este fină linia dintre ficțiunea cărții și realitatea noastră, atât de subțire că uneori nici nu realizezi că te identifici cu ceea ce este prezentat.
Mai multe am scris pe blog ⬇️
https://cartoteka.ro/recenzie-o-lista...
Want to read
April 23, 2024I've known about this one since 2021 but never paid attention until I saw this cover today.
Visual creature after all; don't judge books by their cover but do select them by it.
Visual creature after all; don't judge books by their cover but do select them by it.
August 28, 2017
You can find the full review and all the fancy and/or randomness that accompanies it at It Starts at Midnight
This is a really cute book, and I quite enjoyed it! There was so much fun stuff happening in this book, and it was incredibly unique. Of course, it deals with some really serious issues, too. There is a big focus on mental health, and Esther and her family suffer from it in droves, but in very different ways. Esther's best friend is selectively mute, and Esther's new-old friend (read about it to see what I mean!) Jonah is dealing with a lot himself, grappling with an abusive parent. So yeah, life hasn't been easy for any of the characters.
But Jonah and Esther try to attack her nightmares in a way that leads to all kinds of fun and shenanigans, including a cat named Fleayoncé Knowles. And the thing is, so much of this book is so, so relatable. I mean, sure, you may not think your family is cursed, and you may not have undertaken this same kind of adventure, but at its core this book is so, so relatable.
It talks about mental illness on a level that makes you know that the author just gets it.
Esther shares her panic over death, which is something I have experiences a lot. There's discussion of the paralysis of anxiety and panic, and of her brother's depression. It's very, very honest, and I loved that. But not only are the mental health pieces relatable, there's just a lot of everyday life stuff that the author throws in to make you feel like you can connect with the characters. There's talk about grandmas trying to "out grandma" each other, for example- which I flagged because yesss, my grandmas did that all the time! Little things like that made me feel like the characters were more genuine and authentic.
The only small downside was that sometimes, the book felt a little long for a contemporary, but overall, I really enjoyed it.
Bottom Line: Great characters, a quirky plot, and an amazing focus on mental health, family, and friendships made me adore this book.
*Copy provided for review
** Quote taken from uncorrected proof, subject to change
This is a really cute book, and I quite enjoyed it! There was so much fun stuff happening in this book, and it was incredibly unique. Of course, it deals with some really serious issues, too. There is a big focus on mental health, and Esther and her family suffer from it in droves, but in very different ways. Esther's best friend is selectively mute, and Esther's new-old friend (read about it to see what I mean!) Jonah is dealing with a lot himself, grappling with an abusive parent. So yeah, life hasn't been easy for any of the characters.
But Jonah and Esther try to attack her nightmares in a way that leads to all kinds of fun and shenanigans, including a cat named Fleayoncé Knowles. And the thing is, so much of this book is so, so relatable. I mean, sure, you may not think your family is cursed, and you may not have undertaken this same kind of adventure, but at its core this book is so, so relatable.
It talks about mental illness on a level that makes you know that the author just gets it.
"People got tired of mental illness when they found out they couldn't fix it."
Esther shares her panic over death, which is something I have experiences a lot. There's discussion of the paralysis of anxiety and panic, and of her brother's depression. It's very, very honest, and I loved that. But not only are the mental health pieces relatable, there's just a lot of everyday life stuff that the author throws in to make you feel like you can connect with the characters. There's talk about grandmas trying to "out grandma" each other, for example- which I flagged because yesss, my grandmas did that all the time! Little things like that made me feel like the characters were more genuine and authentic.
The only small downside was that sometimes, the book felt a little long for a contemporary, but overall, I really enjoyed it.
Bottom Line: Great characters, a quirky plot, and an amazing focus on mental health, family, and friendships made me adore this book.
*Copy provided for review
** Quote taken from uncorrected proof, subject to change
August 11, 2017
4.5 Stars
A Semi-Definitive List of Worst Nightmares is a hilarious and inspiring take on fear, growth, and battling your inner demons. Esther Solar is cursed. Her family has been cursed by Death to succumb to their greatest fears. For her father that’s agoraphobia, her mother bad luck, and her twin brother Eugene it’s the dark. But Esther doesn’t know her greatest fear, and she’s in no hurry to find out, that’s why she keeps a list of all her “worst nightmares”. But a surprising reunion with her childhood friend Jonah Smallwood leads Esther down a path to confront her fears in an attempt to try and stop her family curse before it consumes them all.
Things I Liked
I absolutely LOVED the fun and humor in this book! You might not expect a book about your worst fears to be so light-hearted, but I found myself smiling or laughing in almost every chapter. Esther, Eugene, and Jonah all have a jovial sarcastic personality. Even though they all are dealing with their fears and anxieties, they maintain really snarky humor that I loved.
I really liked the inclusion of little mini-lists that were observations or facts about a certain situation from Esther. I thought they worked really well in the story, they added more information and context - especially regarding her grandfather Reginald.
Jonah Smallwood is a treat. He’s so charming and suave and devil-may-care. I really liked him (even though I got mad at points). I loved that he wanted to do special effects makeup - it’s a truly unique artform, and I loved that we got to see a character pursue art in a different way. I love how relentless and charismatic he is, it’s so easy to follow these adventures he and Esther are on, because he is such an effervescent personality.
I really liked how Death/The Man Who Would Become Death were personified in the story, through Reg’s stories. It really made this abstract concept/curse more grounded and gave a depth and history to the story and their family.
The writing in the story was so easy to fall into. The story had this grand adventure feeling. It was so lively, humorous, and fun, when it easily could have felt formulaic or repetitive with the fear-a-week method Esther and Jonah used.
Things I Didn’t Like
I would have liked to see more of Hephzibah, Esther and Eugene’s best friend. I felt like I didn’t really get to know her, therefore I didn’t care about her relationships with either Eugene or Esther.
A Semi-Definitive List of Worst Nightmares is a story of finding the strength to battle your demons, both real and imaginary. I loved the humor and the joy I had while reading. I like that we get to see the characters trying to fight their fears in different ways - facing them head on, talking to each other, talking to a therapist - it was nice to show that growth comes in many different forms. This was a great story that was filled with fantastic characters and large personality.
*Trigger warnings for: suicide, self harm, and abuse
I received a copy of the books from G.P. Putnam's Sons Books for Young Readers via Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review.
“She’s passed the fear barrier, and she’d lived, and she’d discovered not certain death, s she’d imagined, nut impossible splendor. What other beautiful things had fear been hiding from her? What else has the curse long kept her from discovering? For the first time in a long time. She wanted to find out.”
A Semi-Definitive List of Worst Nightmares is a hilarious and inspiring take on fear, growth, and battling your inner demons. Esther Solar is cursed. Her family has been cursed by Death to succumb to their greatest fears. For her father that’s agoraphobia, her mother bad luck, and her twin brother Eugene it’s the dark. But Esther doesn’t know her greatest fear, and she’s in no hurry to find out, that’s why she keeps a list of all her “worst nightmares”. But a surprising reunion with her childhood friend Jonah Smallwood leads Esther down a path to confront her fears in an attempt to try and stop her family curse before it consumes them all.
Things I Liked
I absolutely LOVED the fun and humor in this book! You might not expect a book about your worst fears to be so light-hearted, but I found myself smiling or laughing in almost every chapter. Esther, Eugene, and Jonah all have a jovial sarcastic personality. Even though they all are dealing with their fears and anxieties, they maintain really snarky humor that I loved.
I really liked the inclusion of little mini-lists that were observations or facts about a certain situation from Esther. I thought they worked really well in the story, they added more information and context - especially regarding her grandfather Reginald.
Jonah Smallwood is a treat. He’s so charming and suave and devil-may-care. I really liked him (even though I got mad at points). I loved that he wanted to do special effects makeup - it’s a truly unique artform, and I loved that we got to see a character pursue art in a different way. I love how relentless and charismatic he is, it’s so easy to follow these adventures he and Esther are on, because he is such an effervescent personality.
I really liked how Death/The Man Who Would Become Death were personified in the story, through Reg’s stories. It really made this abstract concept/curse more grounded and gave a depth and history to the story and their family.
The writing in the story was so easy to fall into. The story had this grand adventure feeling. It was so lively, humorous, and fun, when it easily could have felt formulaic or repetitive with the fear-a-week method Esther and Jonah used.
Things I Didn’t Like
I would have liked to see more of Hephzibah, Esther and Eugene’s best friend. I felt like I didn’t really get to know her, therefore I didn’t care about her relationships with either Eugene or Esther.
A Semi-Definitive List of Worst Nightmares is a story of finding the strength to battle your demons, both real and imaginary. I loved the humor and the joy I had while reading. I like that we get to see the characters trying to fight their fears in different ways - facing them head on, talking to each other, talking to a therapist - it was nice to show that growth comes in many different forms. This was a great story that was filled with fantastic characters and large personality.
*Trigger warnings for: suicide, self harm, and abuse
I received a copy of the books from G.P. Putnam's Sons Books for Young Readers via Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review.
August 30, 2017
I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
I loved this one. Really loved it.
A Semi Definitive List of Worst Nightmares centres on the Solar family, who are believed to be cursed by Death himself to die from their ultimate fear or phobia. Esther's grandfather is terrified of water, Eugene her twin brother is scared of the night. Her father is agrophobic and her mother is scared of bad luck. Esther, not knowing her fear, makes a list of everything that she's scared of, in the hope that she can avoid them all and never have to face her ultimate fear. However, a chance meeting (and mugging) by an old friend, Jonah, changes the course of her path forever, and the chance to break the curse.
On a base level this is a story about facing your fears, with an interwoven story about Death and an extremely dysfunctional family. However, on a deeper level it's so much more than this. It's funny (there's a brain damaged kitten named Fleyonce Knowles and a rooster called Frank who enjoys breakfast freak outs on the kitchen table) and heartwarming. I loved Esther and her character development. We see her go from someone who is unable to live her life, hiding behind fancy dress costumes so she can go unnoticed by everyone into something more. Something strong and powerful, a sort of role model to all those who have fears.
Esther's love for her family really shines through - especially Eugene. There are moments throughout that are just so heartbreaking, yet their bond is lovely to behold. They are always there for each other, looking out for each other (when they can) yet they can't seem to get over their own problems in order to fully appreciate each other and what they've got. Esther's relationship with Jonah is also complicated and messy and problematic. There's a real sense of development between the two as the story progresses, which was nice to see, as it was more than just instantaneous love.
The way the author deals with mental health, depression and anxiety through the novel is wonderful. It's dealt with sensitively, yet thoughtfully and we are made to realise that mental health is deeply complex and difficult to define and understand. The ending is bittersweet, yet perfectly sums up life.
I also really loved the background story involving Esther's grandfather and Death. I'm not normally a fan of dipping in and out of side stories, but this was done very eloquently, and in a way that flowed well with the story. Meeting in Vietnam, and following Esther's grandfather as he's assigned a police case into two missing girls, there was enough intrigue and magic and mystery to keep me wanting to go back for more. I wanted to see how the relationship between the two developed, and exactly why Death had cursed the family.
The only reason this isn't four stars is because at the beginning I was slightly confused by the concept of Eugene 'slipping' out of existence. It's as though the randomly vanishes into thin air at certain moments, and this isn't really elaborated on. I wasn't sure if it was some kind of metaphor or not.
That said, this is easily one of the best books I've read this year, and I'd highly recommend it to anyone and everyone.
I loved this one. Really loved it.
A Semi Definitive List of Worst Nightmares centres on the Solar family, who are believed to be cursed by Death himself to die from their ultimate fear or phobia. Esther's grandfather is terrified of water, Eugene her twin brother is scared of the night. Her father is agrophobic and her mother is scared of bad luck. Esther, not knowing her fear, makes a list of everything that she's scared of, in the hope that she can avoid them all and never have to face her ultimate fear. However, a chance meeting (and mugging) by an old friend, Jonah, changes the course of her path forever, and the chance to break the curse.
On a base level this is a story about facing your fears, with an interwoven story about Death and an extremely dysfunctional family. However, on a deeper level it's so much more than this. It's funny (there's a brain damaged kitten named Fleyonce Knowles and a rooster called Frank who enjoys breakfast freak outs on the kitchen table) and heartwarming. I loved Esther and her character development. We see her go from someone who is unable to live her life, hiding behind fancy dress costumes so she can go unnoticed by everyone into something more. Something strong and powerful, a sort of role model to all those who have fears.
Esther's love for her family really shines through - especially Eugene. There are moments throughout that are just so heartbreaking, yet their bond is lovely to behold. They are always there for each other, looking out for each other (when they can) yet they can't seem to get over their own problems in order to fully appreciate each other and what they've got. Esther's relationship with Jonah is also complicated and messy and problematic. There's a real sense of development between the two as the story progresses, which was nice to see, as it was more than just instantaneous love.
The way the author deals with mental health, depression and anxiety through the novel is wonderful. It's dealt with sensitively, yet thoughtfully and we are made to realise that mental health is deeply complex and difficult to define and understand. The ending is bittersweet, yet perfectly sums up life.
I also really loved the background story involving Esther's grandfather and Death. I'm not normally a fan of dipping in and out of side stories, but this was done very eloquently, and in a way that flowed well with the story. Meeting in Vietnam, and following Esther's grandfather as he's assigned a police case into two missing girls, there was enough intrigue and magic and mystery to keep me wanting to go back for more. I wanted to see how the relationship between the two developed, and exactly why Death had cursed the family.
The only reason this isn't four stars is because at the beginning I was slightly confused by the concept of Eugene 'slipping' out of existence. It's as though the randomly vanishes into thin air at certain moments, and this isn't really elaborated on. I wasn't sure if it was some kind of metaphor or not.
That said, this is easily one of the best books I've read this year, and I'd highly recommend it to anyone and everyone.
September 4, 2019
This book is quirky, fun and incredibly emotional.
I really respected the approach the author took to reflect on different sides of mental illness from addiction to depression.
Also another thing I appreciated was how the relationship between Esther and Jonah -who is btw one of my favourite book characters- came to be. I mean there was a connection not a meet cute, but the most important aspect was that Jonah wasn't portrayed as a knight in shining armour or that once he laid eyes on her, she suddenly wanted to become better and forgot about her mental illness.
He always had her back, but never bullied her into doing something :
'Jonah had always brought her to the edge but he’d never pushed her over; Esther was the one who had to jump.'
You may ask, why am I stressing on this point that much ?
Well you see, while reading this book I remembered another that I read last year called 'Finding Audrey' to which I gave a glorified review of two stars because it exactly depicted the opposite of what I was saying above.
There wasn't a good representation of mental illness, there was a cringeworthy meet cute and she was bullied to get better!!!!
Sorry for ranting, but anyway I loved this book so much and definitely recommend.
Also, this bit made me laugh out loud :
“Oh, I know what we’re going to see,” Jonah said as they walked toward the college library. “Med students don’t actually count as dead people Esther. They may look like zombies but they still have a pulse. Shocking, I know.”
As a medical student myself I can confirm that we are indeed ZOMBIES.
I really respected the approach the author took to reflect on different sides of mental illness from addiction to depression.
Also another thing I appreciated was how the relationship between Esther and Jonah -who is btw one of my favourite book characters- came to be. I mean there was a connection not a meet cute, but the most important aspect was that Jonah wasn't portrayed as a knight in shining armour or that once he laid eyes on her, she suddenly wanted to become better and forgot about her mental illness.
He always had her back, but never bullied her into doing something :
'Jonah had always brought her to the edge but he’d never pushed her over; Esther was the one who had to jump.'
You may ask, why am I stressing on this point that much ?
Well you see, while reading this book I remembered another that I read last year called 'Finding Audrey' to which I gave a glorified review of two stars because it exactly depicted the opposite of what I was saying above.
There wasn't a good representation of mental illness, there was a cringeworthy meet cute and she was bullied to get better!!!!
Sorry for ranting, but anyway I loved this book so much and definitely recommend.
Also, this bit made me laugh out loud :
“Oh, I know what we’re going to see,” Jonah said as they walked toward the college library. “Med students don’t actually count as dead people Esther. They may look like zombies but they still have a pulse. Shocking, I know.”
As a medical student myself I can confirm that we are indeed ZOMBIES.
August 25, 2020
2.5 Stars
CW:
Well this was not quite what I was expecting. To me it was more about a family dealing with their mental health issues than a romance. I enjoyed the friendship between Esther and Jonah and did find this story a bit fun and quirky but it has some quite challenging content. This content may take readers by surprise given the seemingly harmless looking cover and blurb (well I was a bit taken aback anyway). I thought Esther's journey towards realising that her issues are not a result of a curse but of a treatable mental illness was quite gently told. I thought the ending was lovely and it was wonderful that a community of people saw her tackling her fears one at a time as a source of inspiration and strength.
CW:
Well this was not quite what I was expecting. To me it was more about a family dealing with their mental health issues than a romance. I enjoyed the friendship between Esther and Jonah and did find this story a bit fun and quirky but it has some quite challenging content. This content may take readers by surprise given the seemingly harmless looking cover and blurb (well I was a bit taken aback anyway). I thought Esther's journey towards realising that her issues are not a result of a curse but of a treatable mental illness was quite gently told. I thought the ending was lovely and it was wonderful that a community of people saw her tackling her fears one at a time as a source of inspiration and strength.
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