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Secrets for the Mad

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When I feel like I'm going mad I write.

A lot of my worst fears have come true; fears that felt so big I could barely hold them in my head. I was convinced that when they'd happen, the world would end.

But the world didn't end. In fact, it pushed on and demanded to keep spinning through all sorts of mayhem, and I got through it. And because I persisted, I learned lessons about how to be a stronger, kinder, better human - lessons you can only learn by going through these sorts of things.

This is for the people with minds that just don't stop; for those who feel everything seemingly a thousand times more than the people around them.

Here are some words I wrote.

256 pages, Hardcover

First published November 2, 2017

357 people are currently reading
5468 people want to read

About the author

Dodie Clark

3 books434 followers
Dorothy "Dodie" Clark is an English singer, songwriter, and YouTuber.

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5 stars
3,538 (47%)
4 stars
2,575 (34%)
3 stars
1,147 (15%)
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1 star
34 (<1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 977 reviews
Profile Image for Natalie.
639 reviews3,855 followers
August 2, 2018
“When you can’t find your purpose in a day, make it to look after yourself.”

I went into this book not knowing too much about the author, other than being absolutely in love with her cover of the song Novels with Rusty Clanton. I must've replayed it over a hundred times since I found it back in April.

Secrets for the Mad 1-- bookspoils
Secrets for the Mad 1-- bookspoils
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I consider it to be one of my all-time favorite songs, thanks to its visceral lyrics that make my heart skip a beat without fail. So I was bound to read Secrets for the Mad sooner or later. Plus, there's the fact that I adore reading memoirs.

Secrets for the Mad 1-- bookspoils
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Nonetheless, I was glad to discover Dodie's writing style flowing really easily in here, especially with her short tales. I was unexpectedly swept into her life from page one and consequently managed to read the book from cover to cover with little to no breaks.

This wickedly fun and inspiring collection of personal stories, lessons, song lyrics, and photos from the beloved British vlogger Dodie Clark, contains vitally important things on a plethora of topics:

• From struggles with suicidal thoughts, self-harm, dependent personality disorder (DPD), depression and anxiety, to body image, eating disorders, and self-hate.
• Also notes on crushes, love, heartbreak, manipulative and emotionally abusive relationships. Sex and portraying a realistic depiction of sexual intimacy, not just an overview that you get to read basically everywhere.
• Bisexuality and coming out, feminism in a world that favors men, family, cooking tips, and so much more on experiencing the highest of highs and the lowest of lows in life.

Plus, the line-drawn illustrations spread throughout the book was something I was always looking forward to.

Secrets for the Mad 1-- bookspoils
Though the first half of this book made me spiral a bit, which consequently had me going about it quite delicately, overtime, with the topics changing in for some lighter ones, I sank deeply into Dodie's world of words and lyrics.

Secrets for the Mad 2-- bookspoils

Her goal shared at the beginning of wanting a place to share the depths behind the music and let the world into my turbulent mind was more than met in my opinion. I also came out of Secrets for the Mad feeling genuinely grateful that I got to connect with Clark over the course of my day through her honesty, wisdom, and wit. The same frankness that I greatly cherished with Arden Rose's Almost Adulting.

And last but not least, I, of course, had to listen to a Dodie classic while reading her work.

ARC kindly provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

Expected publication: November 7th, 2017

Note: I’m an Amazon Affiliate. If you’re interested in buying Secrets for the Madjust click on the image below to go through my link. I’ll make a small commission!


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Profile Image for kate.
1,706 reviews967 followers
Read
September 8, 2017
If you weren't already aware of what a wonderful, talented human dodie is, you will be after reading her book.

*I will be posting a full review nearer the release date.*

With picturesque writing, each short story feeling like an all consuming snapshot of her life, you can tell dodie is a songwriter. Her writing is somewhat lyrical and tells a secret story, just like her songs, but in a way that makes you feel like you are living it.
Although the stories are very personal, they're also so relatable, so many of them are things that we've all gone through and although incredibly hard to read at times, it's also somewhat comforting.

It also has adorable drawings, a lot of which were written surrounding a variety of her songs and lyrics and pictures and snapshots of her life throughout.

Dodie helps to break down barriers and stigmas surrounding mental health by delving into the ugly parts, the hard parts and the just plain painful parts. She in no sets out to make it seem cute, quirky or something to aspire so. Yet, at the same time, not demonising it or making it a taboo topic to discuss. She's open, honest and raw in an incredibly insightful and I'm sure for some, comforting way.

From sex and relationships to, mental illness, fame and success, her childhood, sexuality, family, friendships, being bullied and being the bully, sexual abuse, feminism and grief, she candidly discusses a spectrum of topics but all through short chapters in a very accessible, not at all intimidating way.

This was a lovely, heartfelt book that I think will help a feel not so alone.

TW for Depression/Self Harm/Suicide/ED and Abusive Relationships talked about candidly and openly.
Profile Image for Reading_ Tamishly.
5,276 reviews3,393 followers
April 12, 2021
"People experience their mental health problems in different ways, but for me, I flip back and forth between optimistic and utterly hopeless."



***one of the best books read in 2021.

One of the unique, non-fiction reads which I am going to cherish forever, this book talks about mental health which focuses in details about DPD (depersonalisation disorder/dissociation/derealisation).

I love the relatable sketches in between the pages. I love the poetry as well as the prose. The whole content is just wholesome.

This is the kind of book which I feel like it understands better what we are going through most days.

There are so many lines which are quite relatable:


"You must love yourself first, and learn that only you can give what you have given to the world - and that makes you special."
Profile Image for Romie.
1,197 reviews5 followers
October 30, 2017
Is there a better way to write this review than to listen to some music by Dodie herself? I don’t think so.

Dodie Clark is my inspiration. I read this book I like her music and her videos, but I didn’t expect to find so much of myself in her, to be so deeply touched by her words — though I should have known because her songs alone have the power to make me laugh and sob.

I didn’t know about her suffering from DPD, and I won’t say I’m glad she does, but gosh, reading about her experience made me feel less alone. Not a lot of people talk about depersonalization disorder, but she did! She put into words exactly how it feels like, and bringing awareness to this disorder is extremely important because so little people know about it.

I liked learning about little Dodie, about her insecurities, her hopes, her disappointments, her dreams . . . I felt like I was listening to my best friend. Everything that happened to her in her life is so … mundane? Those things could happen to you, which makes it so relatable, this entire book is made of different experiences you can actually see yourself in.

Reading about her depression, her bisexuality, her love life, her highs and lows made me like her even more. She’s true to herself and to her community, she’s not trying to hide the disgusting parts of her past nor who she is. That’s something I admire a lot.

Dodie Clark is a precious human who deserves the best the world can give.

4.5

Thank you Netgalley for providing me an e-arc in exchange for an honest review.
Profile Image for Weronika Zimna.
319 reviews249 followers
April 6, 2018
Three sympathetic stars?

This book has some really nice and touching passages, some lovely words and tips, some wonderful lyrics and stories, but it’s also a chaotic mashup of e v e r y t h i n g. It even includes recipes! It’s hard for me to wrap my head around it.

I just... would happily read a collection of Dodie’s essays that would be taken care of by a careful editor. This book is a half-memoir, half self-help book. As I’ve mentioned, it contains some lovely parts yet I can’t help but feel a bit lost in this mess.
Profile Image for g.
36 reviews
Want to read
June 15, 2017
MY FAVORITE PERSON EVER WROTE A BOOK GO PRE ORDER IT GO PUT IT AT THE TOP OF YOUR TBR GO SUPPORT DODIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM L I V I N G!!!!!!!!
Profile Image for Desiree.
127 reviews21 followers
January 14, 2018
I'm gonna be honest here, this wasn't... spectacular. Dodie is a beautiful writer in terms of song lyrics, she can write a stunning song for sure, but I don't think that talent necessarily translates strongly to memoir writing. It wasn't terrible, really it wasn't. I enjoyed it. I mean, it's a memoir, so it's hard to really have an opinion about people's personal experiences.

This memoir had a strong focus on mental health - dark, scary, sad issues. Like derealization/depersonalization, anxiety, depression, disordered eating, etc. It was very honest. I especially thought the depth she went into about her experiences with derealization was super interesting - and uncomfortably relatable in some ways. That isn't something I've seen talked about much at all, so it's cool she's shedding light on the subject. She also talks about grief and bisexuality and body image and music and a lot of really good, important topics. I don't really have anything bad to say about this book, it's all good stuff. Unfortunately I just think the execution of it didn't capture or affect me in the way that it potentially could've. I think that it comes mainly from the fact that at certain points it felt, not disingenuous, but a bit "did this really happen like that or are you just trying to be inspirational" kind of thing. Like the story with "Luna" at the very beginning, I don't know.

The extra bits, the poetry/lyrics, notes, etc., didn't really add much for me either. I found her handwriting ridiculously hard to read, which is kinda funny, and I'm not very into poetry. Although I did stop to listen along to She and 6/10 when those lyrics popped up in the book, which was nice.

I'm not trying to speak negatively about this because I genuinely had a good time reading this. I think Dodie's a cool person and I like what she's doing musically. And overall I think Dodie did a great thing with this memoir in that she really stressed the importance of mental health and positive self image and seeking help instead of just talking about staying positive and loving yourself - which is also super important. So I don't regret picking up this book. I think YouTuber books are very hit or miss, mostly because it seems like a lot of YouTubers don't have the passion for it, which is fine. Publish whatever you want. Not every book is meant to be a masterpiece of literature. But I think in this case Dodie put a lot into this book, it seems like, a lot of deeply personal stuff. And I think for the right person this book could be really special. Or maybe if you're more into Dodie as a YouTuber and/or an artist, you might get a lot more out of this. 3(.5)/5 stars!
Profile Image for Lea (drumsofautumn).
641 reviews646 followers
March 17, 2019
Dodie is somone who I've been following online for a super long time and it's been great to see her grow and develop, both as a human and as a musician.
Usually I'm not hugely interested in YouTuber memoirs and if I am, I tend to go for audiobooks, but I knew that this wouldn't be one of those memoirs with rAnDoM stories from a really boring life but actually something that would pack a punch and include some self-help, as Dodie is someone who's always very honest and open about her mental illness and other struggles as a (young) adult.

“The world doesn't end. In fact, it pushes on and demands to keep spinning through all sorts of mayhem, and you survive through.”

I got exactly what I hoped this book would deliver. Despite the fact that the target audience is clearly her general YouTube audience, which I would guess is around 13-18 years old, this is a memoir that I think a lot of her older audience will enjoy too.
I often found myself relating to the things she talked about on an almost painful level. I really think this perfectly combined a book where she gives some advice on life to her younger audience, but makes her older audience feel just as seen and relevant while reading the book. That is something that not a lot of YouTuber memoirs are able to pull off.

I also immensely enjoyed that there was art, photos and lyrics included and it gave much more life to Dodie's words.
In general this was beautifully written, which I know I should've expected coming from someone who writes such wonderful lyrics but I really wasn't confident how well it would translate into actual text. But, while some "life lessons" definitely came across as a little bit over the top and cheesy, I found a lot of the writing incredibly beautiful and inspiring and I know there's certain sections that I will read again and again.
And one thing I deeply appreciated was that Dodie wrote her chapter about sex in a super inclusive way, not so much focusing on gender but more so on "if this genital is involved" and talking about potentially multiples partners involved.

“My rotting brain had lied to me; of course talking would help. Of course my loving, caring friends telling me it would get better would help. They fed ropes down the hold I'd been digging, and even if they couldn't pull me up, they at least reminded me that there was a world beyond this, where I'd been before.”

Overall I was positively surprised by this book and I think it is a great read for Dodie's audiences of all ages and even everyone else that is interested in a memoir by a 20-something, who has already been through a lot and writes about it candidly and beautifully!

Content and trigger warnings for derealization & depersonalization, depression, anxiety, self-harm, suicidal thoughts and ideation, eating disorders, emotionally abusive relationships.

Booktube ChannelTwitterInstagram
Profile Image for Gesine.
183 reviews224 followers
January 28, 2018
I couldn't give it less than 5 stars. Dodie is such a lovely human and I loved how open she is in the book and how she writes about such important topics.
There are also beautiful drawings, snapshots of her life and lyrics from her songs, all fitting to the chapters. I loved to listen to these songs while I was reading the book 🌻
Profile Image for bethany.
28 reviews
Want to read
June 21, 2017
I'M SO PUMPED OH MY GOSH THE LOVE OF MY ABSOLUTE LIFE IS PUBLISHING A BOOK!!!!! GO HER!!!!! GO DODIE!!!!!
Profile Image for Aya.
100 reviews54 followers
July 6, 2020
I started this book to hopefully get over the huge reading slump I was in. Fortunately, it kinda did its job.
As for the book itself...
I love Dodie!!!!! But this kind of youtuber memoir thing isn't for me :(
It was nice to know the stories behind the songs I grew to love and know by heart, though ❤️
Profile Image for Wren James.
Author 22 books1,577 followers
Read
September 18, 2017
I loved the mix of drawings, song lyrics/poems and prose, that felt really nice. Dodie is very honest (her guide to sex is particularly important) and I think this book is going to do great things for her viewers.
Profile Image for Anita Tamm.
67 reviews
December 27, 2017
I finished this wonderful piece of art with tears in my eyes, my hands shaking. I love dodie so much it hurts.
Appreciate what you have and that you're growing and learning, do not be scared of being afraid and honest.
Profile Image for Mel González.
464 reviews63 followers
September 18, 2017
"You inspire me. You make me want to write like you. To be colourful like you. To dance and twirl and radiate like you. But.
You make me want to starve, to look like you. To always look like you, and when I don't, it hurts."

TW: mental illnesses (depersonalisation, eating disorders, depression), abusive relationships, self harm.
*ARC provided by the publisher through NetGalley for an honest review*


This was an incredibly deep exploration on Dodie's life and her perspective on a lot of her experiences. I liked this because she obviously thinks about the things that happen in her life profoundly and she had some interesting reflections on topics like mental illnesses, abusive relationships, friendship and self-love. What I love the most is that she included a lot of her songs, some of her old ones and some of her new ones and that gave context for a lot of her stories or viceversa. I also have to say that I've been watching Dodie's videos for many years now and that means that I knew a lot of these stories already but it was great to see them being further explored. I was also expecting a lot from the writing since she's such a great lyric writer and I was happy to see that a lot of the chapters in this book were incredibly told even if I had some problems with the narration choices (I talk about it more later).

I really enjoyed that she delved into her sexuality and how she came to terms with being bisexual and what it meant to her seeing herself in other people and seeing representation around her. I love that especially because I related a lot to the journey that she went through. I could also see myself in her mental illnesses even though we don't have all the same ones, she talked about them with such nuance and detail that I could feel them being extremely close to my own experiences. I couldn't see the drawings really well because I read this on my kindle but the few I could see, I thought were beautiful and they had the same tone as her writing and that was beautiful to see.

What I didn't like that much were the parts when she went away from her own life and tried to give advice to the readers. I'm not saying the advice was bad but I've seen so many youtubers books that gave the same advice over an over and they just take you away from the narration. I know I'm not her target audience probably because I already knew a lot of the advice she gave but I would have preferred seeing more from her own life instead of those instances where she made lists of advice that was very generic and didn't really bring anything new to the table, as opposed to her own narration, which felt very fresh and important. I also had problems with the narration at some points because she decided to change from first person to second to third without any explanation. Especially with the second person, I didn't understand why she said very personal stories in second person. It didn't make a lot of sense. Overall, I enjoyed this book a lot, some parts more than others.
Profile Image for Amy.
Author 4 books26 followers
September 13, 2018
I really liked this book. It definitely gave me more information about Dodie as a person and that she is a really good writer.

Full review to come...

As many are, I am a fan of dodie's youtube channel so when I saw that this was available to review I was super excited. Secrets For The Mad is a solid and honest read, different from other youtube books with a deeply personal touch.

As a subscriber of dodie's I do really love how honest she is in the book. A lot of the things that she discusses especially how she deals with alcohol, mental illness and a past relationship is so sensitive but she shares it so openly. It was great to read someone opening up of their issues as it could really help those who need it.

I also think that dodie is a great writer. As I said she is honest and her writing has a raw and poetic quality to it that I loved and enjoyed reading. The book also features her songs and personal photos in it which was really lovely and a nice addition to the book. Overall, it was just great!

The Verdict:

Secrets For The Mad is a deeply interesting a personal read, perfect for those who love dodie's channel or otherwise.
Profile Image for Iris.
329 reviews335 followers
March 11, 2018
Not great. I received this free from Atria Books, but all opinions are my own.

I honestly don’t know who this book is for? I found nothing in it relatable at all. Most of the writing is incredibly juvenile, but the subject matter is about drinking and boys and being drunk.

I would say only pick this up if you are a fan, there’s nothing in here that you can’t get out of her videos and songs.
Profile Image for João.
211 reviews43 followers
April 15, 2025
pensando que ela escreveu esse com a idade que eu tenho agora... dodie você mudou a minha vida desde os 14 anos OBRIGADO!

stream build a problem !!!!11!!11!
Profile Image for Shannon.
19 reviews
May 4, 2025
Thank you dodie.

And thank you Cindy for the book
Profile Image for Rhi.
386 reviews148 followers
February 9, 2018
There is no doubt there are some really important topics discussed in this book. Any book that deals with mental health openly is a breath of fresh air. However- the whole narrative was started with the writer stating she wasn’t ready to discuss the big bad secret she was forced to keep, and that appears to have gone some way to causing her mental health issues. Don’t write a book and say ‘there’s this thing but I’m not going to talk about it’. Just don’t talk about it.
Not only that, what is the target audience for this? It’s another YouTube ‘celebrity’ that I hadn’t heard of before who I assume has an audience of 13-15 year olds. If that is the case, a chapter on how to have and enjoy sex is just weird. Same with drinking responsibly. Unless this YouTuber has a markedly older audience than I’m assuming- the content of this book misses the mark.
The writing was average- but at least it was trying to be creative.
Really- the 2 stars are because I listened to this on audio and her songs were included as actual audio tracks. I thought this was an enjoyable touch, and had I read the paper version I would have missed out on this dynamic.
I won’t be seeking out her videos though. It’s another 20 something making assertions and discoveries as if they are revolutionary. I’m too old for ‘love yourself first’ to be groundbreaking advice.
Profile Image for Vera.
183 reviews
November 1, 2019
This is one of the best books I've ever read. The entire first hour of the book I cried so much I was shaking. It encouraged me and gave me hope, telling me that even though life is hard and bad things will happen, the world will keep going and so will I. Thank you dodie, this book will forever effect my life.
Profile Image for josh.
72 reviews39 followers
February 9, 2020
all i have to say is that this book is beautiful, raw, and very dodie. i just love her so much.
160 reviews7 followers
January 12, 2022
4.5
Woof, this book hits home and definitely reminds you that you never know what someone else is going through. Not only is the book visually stunning with artwork, pictures, and other unusual and unique visuals, but it's brutally honest in ways that we all wish we could be. It speaks true the struggles of the day to day whether it be mental health struggles, love, friendships, and ambiguity. I LOVED the constant theme that sometimes you're the teacher, and sometimes you're the one being taught. Incredibly down to Earth and deeply personal that grabs you with every word. Even if you don't quite relate to the experiences laid out in this book, you can still read it and relate it to other people in your life (reminding you that there are others out there aside from yourself). There is something for everyone here, music, anecdotes, personal entries, artwork, poems, and recipes. It was a little informal at times, with writing that was a little cringy, but I think that is the point of this book.
Profile Image for Hattie.
6 reviews20 followers
April 19, 2022
Dodie is one of my favourite artists and I didn't know she had written a book until one of my lovely friends ( and fellow Dodie fan!) recommended it to me. The book exceeded expectations, It talked of the struggles of everyday life, growing up, of how hard and utterly confusing life can be at times. It is a brutally honest reminder that you never know what someone is going through, and probably struck home with many people when she talks of her depression and dpd, and it is really emotional at times. Through the combination of snippets of her life, life lessons, illustrations and songs, the book is a lovely chaos that a book containing the life of anyone would be.
Profile Image for Kellie.
336 reviews102 followers
December 31, 2017
3.5/5 stars
I had no expectations whatsoever going into this book. I was simply curious, and although I'm not the biggest fan of books by YouTubers, I thought I'd give this one a shot since I love Dodie. And I did really like it. It was like reading her diary in some aspects. I liked her advice and the topics that she talked about. It was personal, and that's why I enjoyed it.
Profile Image for Chloe (thelastcolour).
438 reviews127 followers
February 13, 2018
i have always admired dodie, i love what she stands for and the awareness she brings to mental health issues. this book was exactly what i needed to read at this present moment in my life. it made me feel less alone, less crazy and broken and i cannot thank her enough for having the courage to write such a personal book
Profile Image for pieceofmycolourfullife Rebecca.
77 reviews36 followers
February 3, 2018
This book is amazing, it’s so real. She writes about her live and how she learned and gives tips. Seriously this could be a live saving book because it gives so much hope.
I love it. And I love honestly she writes! :)
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