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Shadow Dance: Liberating the Power & Creativity of Your Dark Side
Discover how to embrace the dark side of your personality —or the shadow self, as introduced by Carl Jung —to live a fuller, more authentic life
Our “shadow” is the collection of negative or undesirable traits we keep hidden—the things we don't like about ourselves or are afraid to egotist, non-“PC” proclivities, forbidden sexual desires. But it also includes our positive, untapped potential—qualities we may admire in others but disavow in ourselves. Befriending the shadow makes fear an ally and enables us to live more authentically. It also automatically improves our interpersonal relationships, because we are freed from the need to project our own negativity onto others, and we become more acutely aware when theirs is projected onto us.
David Richo looks for where the shadow manifests in personal life, family interaction, religion, relationship, and the world around is. He shows how to use the gentle practice of mindfulness to work with our shadow side, and he provides numerous exercises for going deeper. He is remarkably skillful at making the shadow concept not only easy to understand, but supremely practical for enhancing the quality of our lives.
Our “shadow” is the collection of negative or undesirable traits we keep hidden—the things we don't like about ourselves or are afraid to egotist, non-“PC” proclivities, forbidden sexual desires. But it also includes our positive, untapped potential—qualities we may admire in others but disavow in ourselves. Befriending the shadow makes fear an ally and enables us to live more authentically. It also automatically improves our interpersonal relationships, because we are freed from the need to project our own negativity onto others, and we become more acutely aware when theirs is projected onto us.
David Richo looks for where the shadow manifests in personal life, family interaction, religion, relationship, and the world around is. He shows how to use the gentle practice of mindfulness to work with our shadow side, and he provides numerous exercises for going deeper. He is remarkably skillful at making the shadow concept not only easy to understand, but supremely practical for enhancing the quality of our lives.
336 pages, Paperback
First published May 11, 1999
157 people are currently reading
1301 people want to read
About the author
David Richo
88 books535 followersDavid Richo, PhD, is a therapist and author who leads popular workshops on personal and spiritual growth.
He received his BA in psychology from Saint John's Seminary in Brighton, Massachusetts, in 1962, his MA in counseling psychology from Fairfield University in 1969, and his PhD in clinical psychology from Sierra University in 1984. Since 1976, Richo has been a licensed marriage, family, and child counselor in California. In addition to practicing psychotherapy, Richo teaches courses at Santa Barbara City College and the University of California Berkeley at Berkeley, and has taught at the Esalen Institute in Big Sur, Pacifica Graduate Institute, and Santa Barbara Graduate Institute. He is a clinical supervisor for the Community Counseling Center in Santa Barbara, California.
Known for drawing on Buddhism, poetry, and Jungian perspectives in his work, Richo is the author of How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Lovingand The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find in Embracing Them. He has also written When the Past Is Present: Healing the Emotional Wounds that Sabotage our Relationships, Shadow Dance: Liberating the Power and Creativity of Your Dark Side, The Power of Coincidence: How Life Shows Us What We Need to Know, and Being True to Life: Poetic Paths to Personal Growth.
Richo lives in Santa Barbara and San Francisco.
He received his BA in psychology from Saint John's Seminary in Brighton, Massachusetts, in 1962, his MA in counseling psychology from Fairfield University in 1969, and his PhD in clinical psychology from Sierra University in 1984. Since 1976, Richo has been a licensed marriage, family, and child counselor in California. In addition to practicing psychotherapy, Richo teaches courses at Santa Barbara City College and the University of California Berkeley at Berkeley, and has taught at the Esalen Institute in Big Sur, Pacifica Graduate Institute, and Santa Barbara Graduate Institute. He is a clinical supervisor for the Community Counseling Center in Santa Barbara, California.
Known for drawing on Buddhism, poetry, and Jungian perspectives in his work, Richo is the author of How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Lovingand The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find in Embracing Them. He has also written When the Past Is Present: Healing the Emotional Wounds that Sabotage our Relationships, Shadow Dance: Liberating the Power and Creativity of Your Dark Side, The Power of Coincidence: How Life Shows Us What We Need to Know, and Being True to Life: Poetic Paths to Personal Growth.
Richo lives in Santa Barbara and San Francisco.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews
February 5, 2013
This is an excellent book if you are seeking to understand yourself better, particularily your dark side, and how you can integrate that into your life and thus find wholeness. I would highly reccommend this book to those spiritual seekers out there who want to embrace the darkness and find their own light. Afterall, it is through the darkness that light is found. If you don't believe me, try reading shadow dance.
July 12, 2014
What a book! It wanders everywhere, and provides an excellent example of raising our admiration for outstanding literature anywhere, elsewhere.
Take for instance, the topic evil, nowhere is a definition of evil laid out in Mr. Richo’s book; however overlooking this fact, a regrettable omission by the author, we read the following:
“The presence of goodness does not permanently eliminate evil but removes it in the moment. Our work is to acknowledge good in spite of evil, not instead of it. We stay on guard, since it can always reappear in our choices. We have often heard that wholeness/goodness triumphs over fragmentation/evil. The resurrection motif in so many religious traditions is a metaphor for this victory of wholeness. Jesus rises after being destroyed, so something in him cannot be destroyed: absolute goodness. This is a way of saying that the Self cannot be destroyed, especially not by the ego. Thus, when we do the work that leads to wholeness, we are not only protecting ourselves from evil but also becoming less vulnerable to it. This must be why so many martyrs welcomed death with joy. They knew that the body buzzards were circling overhead to devour was not the one that mattered.” (Nonetheless, the buzzards certainly delighted in a full meal, however rotten.)
Otherwise, and more aptly put, via the voice of Satan in Mr. Orhan Pamuk’s “The Red Door”:
“As some will claim, at that time Almighty God and I made a pact. According to them, I was helping to test the Almighty’s subjects by attempting to destroy their faith: The good, possessed of sound judgment, would not be led astray, while the evil giving into their carnal desires would sin, to later fill the depths of Hell. Therefore what I did was quite important: If all men went to Heaven, no one would ever be frightened, and the world and its governments could never function on virtue alone; for in our world evil is as necessary as virtue and sin as necessary as rectitude.” Or “If only my angry and shallow enemies, who never tire of condemning me, would remember that it was the Almighty Himself who granted me life until Judgment Day, while allotting them no more than sixty or seventy years. If I were to advise them that they could extend this period by drinking coffee, I know quite well that some, because it was Satan speaking, would do the exact opposite and refuse coffee entirely, or worse yet, stand on their heads and try pouring it into their asses.”
Indeed, we read upon the psyche and ego in Richo’s book:
“The coconut is another apt symbol of the psyche, the hard shell of ego outside and the milk of the real Self inside, the fruit of opposites. The work is to crack it open without losing the valuable inner core ad still find a use for the remaining shell. Even in pieces it has value, since the way things appear is only part of how they exist.”
Otherwise, more aptly put, via Ms. Nin in “The Artist as Magician”:
“I learned from this that in order to resist the sorrows of human experience we needed another world. Unfortunately our culture kept calling that world an escape, making it a most unvirtuous thing to do, to escape from the present. To escape from everything was really not taking part and not being involved in life. I don’t understand how it happened but it was part of our ideology, and there was a great taboo on anybody who was about to move away from catastrophe. It wasn’t realized that in the moving away we encounter was necessary as an anti-toxin. We need anti-toxins. We need a place in which to reconstruct ourselves after shattering experiences.”
I have certainly paused for thought over sentences such as:
“Both coal and diamonds are ultimately carbon, the same substance, visible differently at the two ends of the same spectrum, like our bodies and our world.”
Books, I find, deserve to move on and in this generous spirit, after much deep meditation, I thought it best to leave “Shadow Dance” to its unique fate under the statue of Spinoza on Waterlooplein in Amsterdam.
Take for instance, the topic evil, nowhere is a definition of evil laid out in Mr. Richo’s book; however overlooking this fact, a regrettable omission by the author, we read the following:
“The presence of goodness does not permanently eliminate evil but removes it in the moment. Our work is to acknowledge good in spite of evil, not instead of it. We stay on guard, since it can always reappear in our choices. We have often heard that wholeness/goodness triumphs over fragmentation/evil. The resurrection motif in so many religious traditions is a metaphor for this victory of wholeness. Jesus rises after being destroyed, so something in him cannot be destroyed: absolute goodness. This is a way of saying that the Self cannot be destroyed, especially not by the ego. Thus, when we do the work that leads to wholeness, we are not only protecting ourselves from evil but also becoming less vulnerable to it. This must be why so many martyrs welcomed death with joy. They knew that the body buzzards were circling overhead to devour was not the one that mattered.” (Nonetheless, the buzzards certainly delighted in a full meal, however rotten.)
Otherwise, and more aptly put, via the voice of Satan in Mr. Orhan Pamuk’s “The Red Door”:
“As some will claim, at that time Almighty God and I made a pact. According to them, I was helping to test the Almighty’s subjects by attempting to destroy their faith: The good, possessed of sound judgment, would not be led astray, while the evil giving into their carnal desires would sin, to later fill the depths of Hell. Therefore what I did was quite important: If all men went to Heaven, no one would ever be frightened, and the world and its governments could never function on virtue alone; for in our world evil is as necessary as virtue and sin as necessary as rectitude.” Or “If only my angry and shallow enemies, who never tire of condemning me, would remember that it was the Almighty Himself who granted me life until Judgment Day, while allotting them no more than sixty or seventy years. If I were to advise them that they could extend this period by drinking coffee, I know quite well that some, because it was Satan speaking, would do the exact opposite and refuse coffee entirely, or worse yet, stand on their heads and try pouring it into their asses.”
Indeed, we read upon the psyche and ego in Richo’s book:
“The coconut is another apt symbol of the psyche, the hard shell of ego outside and the milk of the real Self inside, the fruit of opposites. The work is to crack it open without losing the valuable inner core ad still find a use for the remaining shell. Even in pieces it has value, since the way things appear is only part of how they exist.”
Otherwise, more aptly put, via Ms. Nin in “The Artist as Magician”:
“I learned from this that in order to resist the sorrows of human experience we needed another world. Unfortunately our culture kept calling that world an escape, making it a most unvirtuous thing to do, to escape from the present. To escape from everything was really not taking part and not being involved in life. I don’t understand how it happened but it was part of our ideology, and there was a great taboo on anybody who was about to move away from catastrophe. It wasn’t realized that in the moving away we encounter was necessary as an anti-toxin. We need anti-toxins. We need a place in which to reconstruct ourselves after shattering experiences.”
I have certainly paused for thought over sentences such as:
“Both coal and diamonds are ultimately carbon, the same substance, visible differently at the two ends of the same spectrum, like our bodies and our world.”
Books, I find, deserve to move on and in this generous spirit, after much deep meditation, I thought it best to leave “Shadow Dance” to its unique fate under the statue of Spinoza on Waterlooplein in Amsterdam.
April 26, 2021
Every now and then I discover a book that is so rich with material, I rush to finish it so that I can get started right away on re-reading it or, especially in this case, working through it. David Richo's knowledge and experience in multiple disciplines are woven throughout this one work in a way that inspires and reassures anyone on the journey to better understanding themselves that it is safe to go there and will be worth the effort.
January 2, 2014
Our dark side has been called our personal "shadow" by C.C. Jung. It's everything about ourselves we do not know, or refuse to know: egotism, forbidden sexual desires, unpopular proclivities. But it also includes positive, untapped potential, those qualities we admire in others but can't see in ourselves.
The challenge is in accepting ourselves all the way to the bottom: admitting and holding rather than denying and burying our arrogance, our self-centeredness, our will to coerce others, our shame, and any other dark truths we think we can't face. By hiding objectionable personality traits, we lose the chance to rework and move through them. Befriending the Shadow makes fear an ally and enables us to live more authentically.
David Richo, a psychotherapist, shows how to use active mindfulness to work with our shadow side when it manifests in personal life, family interaction, religion, and the world around us.
I use this book for a class I teach in Shadow Work, and there are a lot of tears in the class. Looking inward and facing personal demons is hard work, and if you approach the exercises in this book with honesty, you will be exhausted every session. You will also be enlightened, awakened and liberated.
NOTE: If you start this book and decided it's too much too soon, look at one of Richo's earlier works, such as How to Be and Adult in Relationships (1991).
The challenge is in accepting ourselves all the way to the bottom: admitting and holding rather than denying and burying our arrogance, our self-centeredness, our will to coerce others, our shame, and any other dark truths we think we can't face. By hiding objectionable personality traits, we lose the chance to rework and move through them. Befriending the Shadow makes fear an ally and enables us to live more authentically.
David Richo, a psychotherapist, shows how to use active mindfulness to work with our shadow side when it manifests in personal life, family interaction, religion, and the world around us.
I use this book for a class I teach in Shadow Work, and there are a lot of tears in the class. Looking inward and facing personal demons is hard work, and if you approach the exercises in this book with honesty, you will be exhausted every session. You will also be enlightened, awakened and liberated.
NOTE: If you start this book and decided it's too much too soon, look at one of Richo's earlier works, such as How to Be and Adult in Relationships (1991).
September 16, 2024
One of the best books on shadow work I've read. The language is insightful and clear:
"Our attractions and repulsions, our opposites, reveal us to ourselves. By analyzing our fascinations and antipathies we find the far-flung and exiled facets of our personality. What fascinates us usually holds our positive shadow and what repels us usually holds our negative shadow."
I also liked how practically-minded this book was. The reader is encouraged to actively participate with the various practices suggested, all of which point towards inner reconciliation and wholeness.
My favourite line:
"The divine has heart but no hands except ours"
"Our attractions and repulsions, our opposites, reveal us to ourselves. By analyzing our fascinations and antipathies we find the far-flung and exiled facets of our personality. What fascinates us usually holds our positive shadow and what repels us usually holds our negative shadow."
I also liked how practically-minded this book was. The reader is encouraged to actively participate with the various practices suggested, all of which point towards inner reconciliation and wholeness.
My favourite line:
"The divine has heart but no hands except ours"
December 4, 2014
I've always enjoyed the way the author blends practical wisdom, spirituality, psychology, and specific questions to enable a deeper examination of his topics. In this case, looking at our shadow (the dark and the light) and the influence we give it strikes deep cord. By learning to face our shame and celebrate our positive, the book shows a path to greater awareness and presence with our true self. A great read
September 7, 2025
It was interesting and worth reading, but I struggled to absorb a lot of it. I'm not sure how much that is down to my brain and ability to concentrate and how much it is the writing and references used.
Book blurb:
Discover how to embrace the dark side of your personality, the unconscious and repressed aspects—or the shadow self, as introduced by Carl Jung—to live a fuller, more authentic life.
Our “shadow” is the collection of negative or undesirable traits we keep hidden—the things we don't like about ourselves or are ashamed of, but it also includes our positive, untapped potential. The shadow is often a source of creative inspiration and greater self-acceptance. Befriending the shadow makes fear an ally and enables us to live more authentically. It also automatically improves our interpersonal relationships, because we are freed from the need to project our own negativity onto others, and we become more acutely aware when theirs is projected onto us.
David Richo looks for where the shadow manifests in our personal life, family interactions, religion, relationships, and the world around us. He shows how to use the gentle practice of mindfulness to work with our shadow side, and he provides numerous exercises for going deeper. He is remarkably skillful at making the shadow concept not only easy to understand but supremely practical for enhancing the quality of our lives.
Book blurb:
Discover how to embrace the dark side of your personality, the unconscious and repressed aspects—or the shadow self, as introduced by Carl Jung—to live a fuller, more authentic life.
Our “shadow” is the collection of negative or undesirable traits we keep hidden—the things we don't like about ourselves or are ashamed of, but it also includes our positive, untapped potential. The shadow is often a source of creative inspiration and greater self-acceptance. Befriending the shadow makes fear an ally and enables us to live more authentically. It also automatically improves our interpersonal relationships, because we are freed from the need to project our own negativity onto others, and we become more acutely aware when theirs is projected onto us.
David Richo looks for where the shadow manifests in our personal life, family interactions, religion, relationships, and the world around us. He shows how to use the gentle practice of mindfulness to work with our shadow side, and he provides numerous exercises for going deeper. He is remarkably skillful at making the shadow concept not only easy to understand but supremely practical for enhancing the quality of our lives.
January 2, 2026
Definitely a valuable primer on Shadow work, but weirdly, he uses a lot of "good and evil" examples from the Bible and other sacred texts as examples of the shadow at work - thus equating our personal shadow selves with "evil." And while yes, our egos/personas often do see our shadow parts as "evil" he doesn't take the final (and essential!) step of breaking down the very duality of "good and evil" itself. Once we can see the world free of that duality, integrating our shadow parts becomes not only much easier, but much more fun.
July 20, 2018
You gonna read this book if you want to know more about shadows. Interesting read. I had to read this for a Supervision course for Spiritual Directors and learned much about shadows (those personality traits/qualities that we keep under wraps). Now that the course is over, I am planning to re-read it at leisure again.
December 2, 2019
Beautiful book. Would’ve been even more transformative if it was more structured and clear. Nonetheless brilliant topic, plenty to highlight and contemplate on, written by a person with a big heart and clear life purpose.
Thankful
Thankful
May 10, 2021
لازم بود یه کتاب از سایه بخونم تا متوجه شم، سایهی منفی بزرگی ندارم. به نظر میرسه تمام چند سال اخیر، تمام پیشرفتهایی که داشتم من رو به سمت کم و کمتر کردن سایه منفی پیش برده.
خیلی خیلی شاخ و برگ زیادی داشت. نویسنده میتونست در حجم کمتر، این کتاب رو منتشر کنه؛ بدون خسته کردن خواننده.
خیلی خیلی شاخ و برگ زیادی داشت. نویسنده میتونست در حجم کمتر، این کتاب رو منتشر کنه؛ بدون خسته کردن خواننده.
February 23, 2022
Si ya pasaste por un proceso terapéutico o tienes conocimientos sobre la salud mental, el libro se tornará aburrido. Por el contrario, si buscas sanación emocional, el libro te ayudará muchísimo, contiene ejercicios, guías y ejemplos para trabajar contigo.
October 19, 2023
Utterly life changing. A book to go back to again and again on this life journey.
April 18, 2025
One of the hardest books to go through yet one of the most enriching psychological and spiritual guidance can one feel
August 11, 2024
Deep deep work - took me a few months as every chapter end with in depth writing exercises. Profound ways to be your own therapist and decode the mysteries of your own Ego and emotions
August 7, 2013
En mycket bra bok om skugga (Jungiansk psykologi). De egenskaper och behov vi gömmer för oss själva och sedan retar oss på när vi ser det i andra eller beundrar i andra.
David Richo är psykolog och han använder sina kunskaper och erfarenheter tillsammans med en stor dos buddism och en gnutta andlighet så ger han en genomarbetad bild av alla aspekter inom skuggarbete.
Hela boken är fylld med övningar som verkligen går på djupet.
Så om du "hatar" rasister, vänster/höger-extrema, homo/hetero-sexuella, feminister osv så ... Grattis!
Då har du möjlighet att göra lite inre arbete. Fast, det är klart, så länge dedär onda och dumma människorna finns så är ju du ok... så du behöver dem. Faktum är att du antagligen är beroende av dem.
Eller?
David Richo är psykolog och han använder sina kunskaper och erfarenheter tillsammans med en stor dos buddism och en gnutta andlighet så ger han en genomarbetad bild av alla aspekter inom skuggarbete.
Hela boken är fylld med övningar som verkligen går på djupet.
Så om du "hatar" rasister, vänster/höger-extrema, homo/hetero-sexuella, feminister osv så ... Grattis!
Då har du möjlighet att göra lite inre arbete. Fast, det är klart, så länge dedär onda och dumma människorna finns så är ju du ok... så du behöver dem. Faktum är att du antagligen är beroende av dem.
Eller?
April 11, 2011
This book tells you what most other books do not: what is the
positive AND negative shadow side of the human being. To be
whole, it's important to recognize/identify that part of our
selves which may have been swept under the rug since childhood.
It is fascinating. At the end of each chapter, Richo has
suggestions of exercises to try or things to notice to become
better acquainted and better accepting of your shadow. Also
he describes how to identify the shadow in others.
positive AND negative shadow side of the human being. To be
whole, it's important to recognize/identify that part of our
selves which may have been swept under the rug since childhood.
It is fascinating. At the end of each chapter, Richo has
suggestions of exercises to try or things to notice to become
better acquainted and better accepting of your shadow. Also
he describes how to identify the shadow in others.
May 12, 2025
An Empowering understanding of the 'Shadow Archetype & Aspect of Human Psyche'. The pioneering work of Carl Jung explained in a lucid way to new & aware readers alike, by eminent JUNGian Scholar & Depth Psychologist himself ... David Richo.
His grasp is deep and style evocative. His writing is poetic in appeal and grounded in concept.
An excellent reading for those interested in learning & practising Depth Psychology.
His grasp is deep and style evocative. His writing is poetic in appeal and grounded in concept.
An excellent reading for those interested in learning & practising Depth Psychology.
June 29, 2012
Definitely parts that I liked in this book.
His style is to write a sermon/lecture type section, and then add a practical application to that. I found myself more drawn to the practical "in practice" sections than the lead-ins.
I marked many sections to go back and think about, so I think this book was well worth my time.
His style is to write a sermon/lecture type section, and then add a practical application to that. I found myself more drawn to the practical "in practice" sections than the lead-ins.
I marked many sections to go back and think about, so I think this book was well worth my time.
January 12, 2010
I found this book very helpful in understanding the shadow qualities in myself and other people. I liked the discussion of the positive shadow compared to the negative shadow. There were plenty of examples, too.
August 13, 2011
Thus far, I can see positive possibilities for healing through examining and accepting our self all the way from top to bottom.
Definitely more to come. I look forward to deeper thought on this subject.
Definitely more to come. I look forward to deeper thought on this subject.
December 12, 2011
This book brings clarity in being mindful which is understanding and accepting of one's self. Shadow Dance put very complex theories into plain English for the reader. This is a great book to start in the path of greatness and love.
November 15, 2013
David Richo brilliantly explains our shadow selves, how to identify that hidden aspect and, best of all, to understand those dark, dark selves provide rich insight into what we want to ignore yet what will also free us. Powerful, compassionate, read it.
January 19, 2016
Deep, challenging and enlightening. This is not an easy book - but provides a strong structure for taking on the work of our negative and positive shadows. An attempt at even some of the exercises is useful and eye opening.
Read
June 28, 2007well written book on the Shadow. What we can learn from it, use it and the gifts it has to offer.
March 6, 2009
This is another one for a class. Addressing your dark side, Darth Vader, sort of thing. You have to journal and practice. It is allright so far.
July 11, 2015
Review to come (hopefully) soon! :D
August 15, 2014
Loved it! Very insightful and great book for personal growth.
March 19, 2013
Nice read. Pretty interesting stuff in here, he has an interesting style of writing too.
Want to read
August 15, 2014Well.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews