Lovelands

by Debra Campbell

Love is a wild and diverse land. Every soul needs a map.

Nothing is more important to us than love, yet nothing is more painful than love gone wrong. During the course of our lives, we can develop dangerous faultlines and crevasses in our inner emotional landscapes due to past hurts, losses and disappointments.

Lovelands is psychologist Dr Debra Campbell’s map for traversing the treacherous terrain of love and cultivating the wisdom and self-compassion for healthy love relationships.

Drawing on her own knowledge and experiences of dysfunctional love relationships throughout her life and work, Dr Campbell shows you how to become aware of your personal Lovelands so you can locate and identify your faultlines, avoid repeating negative patterns and become empowered to make different choices.

Whether you’re a parent to others, a lover to another, or working on the care of your own soul, Lovelands will help you make sense of love, from birth to death, and guide you in claiming the role of the hero of your own life and sovereign of your own Lovelands.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Memoir, Relationships, Self Help

224 pages, Hardcover

Published February 1, 2017

Reviews

[Jim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not the sort of thing I would usually read but a friend gave me a preview copy (I dont believe its available yet?) and I knocked it off in a single sitting
The prose is beautiful and the story very real.
The Fantasy map idea was pretty cool and was used to follow the travails and triumphs of the writer.
I especially liked the themed chapters around the different types of love and while I cant relate to all of them many struck a chord.
The relationship with the therapist was intriguing
All in all a great book which was a fix of life story and help/advice I feel I will go back to this book again.

[KT · Rating 5 out of 5]

The thing about self help books is you still have to do the work but Lovelands refreshed my motivation for doing that. It's an intriguing read, and very readable - Dr Campbell writes wonderfully and neatly organises the content by 'love' themes. Weaving her astonishingly frank personal experience with her professional knowledge and experience, she gifts the reader with insights and tips to navigate the spaces and heart places we can choose to take ourselves to. It doesn't get you there - that's the work for you - but it is a guide to take on the road.

I can see myself in a few of Dr Campbell's messy moments, and countless others of my own. Ultimately, it reassured me I can feel normal about my mistakes and they'll be more valuable if I don't feel ashamed of them. This one's a keeper!

[Debra Campbell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved writing this book. It was brought together from personal and professional journals, documenting some wins and some massive struggles, over decades. In writing it I hoped, more than anything else, to spare others some of the mistakes and struggles I dealt with. It means they were perhaps for a nobler purpose in the end (!)

I love memoir and biography because these genres help us feel closer to one another and to benefit from each other's experiences. They help us to feel special yet normal, different but the same in the big human ways, less alone. I've applied some psychological guidance for love and life to my own story in Lovelands, using myself as an example (sometimes of what NOT to do!)

Thank you for joining me on the Lovelands journey - it's much better to share this journey through our inner worlds of life challenges and learning than it was to live the story alone.

Message me anytime if you have a question.

Deb x

[Edna White · Rating 5 out of 5]

As I read this book, I found it to be a clarity of things I have endured yet was able not to know what it really was. This book shares all the aspects of love we experience throughout life good or negative. I like how the author took the time to break down each area of love and shares her experiences. Some of them I related with and others I feel I will encounter very soon. All-in-all this was a great education and ultimately expanded my views of love. Should you want more insight on how you feel in and out of love in all areas of your life, this is the book for you. Well written and encouraging.

[Demelza · Rating 5 out of 5]

An amazing book that takes the reader into their own lovelands and through a journey of self analysis. Well written with food for the soul. Loved it!!

[Joe Sampson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I heard the author give a talk about this book. I was so impressed with her talk that I bought the book. The book is largely autobiographical about her experience in life of love.

[Elisha Lawry · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book
Lovelands is a well written, thought-provoking and autobiographical book around our internal drives to find love. As the book title suggests this is a story of the landscape of love, both as a wild, diverse land and the story of our soul journey to find love. Psychologist Dr Deborah Campbell reveals her life experiences, as well as client case studies, to help us navigate to a better place. She suggests that during the course of our lives, we can develop dangerous “faultlines” in our inner emotional landscapes due to past hurts, losses and disappointments. Dr Campbell is generous with her thoughtful insights to help us create opportunities that we can apply to better understand and enhance our relationships.

[Caro Lopiccolo · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautifully written book, opening it up was a daily treat. So of course when I finished I just turned back to the beginning and started again!

Debra Campbell's gentleness and love are wonderfully interspersed with her insight and knowledge. Told with her own story as a background, she navigates commonly experienced areas of struggle within different relationships and shows a way forward to forgiveness and living life with genuine vitality.

Lovelands avoids mushiness and cliches with its honesty. Highly recommended.

[Caroline · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lovelands, an autobiographical account of love, life and relationships, offers a map to the traverses of our inner landscape including the Plains of Uncertainty, Mt Danger, The Forest of Forgiveness, the Lake of Self-Compassion, Mt Mindfulness, the River of Life and the Resilience Retreat. Lovelands speaks to living a life of passion and flow, embracing our vulnerability, practicing self-compassion, cultivating resilience and mindful relationships with others and with ourselves. While the book has a particular focus on couple relationships, our Lovelands in fact relate to all facets of our lives including parenting, career and to our own self-development and self-care. A workbook is available to accompany the book and assist the reader to reflect on their own personal Lovelands.

[Tanya · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5/5

This self help (memoir style)book was gifted to me by a good friend. There were many poignant passages that i screenshot to various people in my life.

Another book i have read this year that i can see myself referring back to in the future.

Thanks G

[Victoria · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful writer, with a beautiful story, Loveland's left me awestruck.
The author's story of navigating the lush, sometimes wild, dark and thrilling map of our internal Loveland's is exquisitely written. This book is generous with thoughtful insights that you could start applying immediately to better understand and enhance your relationship with love. Love of self, love of others, and love of life. Loveland's explores the good, bad, ugly, and epic of loves through the author's vulnerable and addictive authentic telling of her own experiences. I was left after reading Loveland's with an amazing gift, that moved me so powerfully, my cheeks were soaked with tears upon realising it. (*I am not - a crier by the way, it takes a lot for me to spontaneously combust into tears*)- That gift *is* the essence of this book for me, it's heart-beat, what the author gave me with her beautiful words was the possibility of a far more soul nourishing way of being *being* the love that you already *are.*

[Eleni Modinos · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is currently serving as my bible. It resonates with me so much and to be able to have this material at 21 years of age. I am so grateful for all the hard work, and the courage Dr Debra has taken to create Loveland’s. It’s simplicity and the insight. Is just incredible and practical for anyone. Everyone needs a copy and needs to share this because the human race can learn to love a lot better! I love love love this!

[Eileen Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was lucky to receive an early copy through a friend. Lovelands is so easy to read and I found it hard to put down. Debra is amazingly vulnerable in her writing, telling her life story so openly and interspersing it with relevant examples of her clients’ experiences, making it an extremely interesting read.
I love how she has used the analogy of a map to describe life as a journey with its landscapes - quite clever. This book is thought-provoking look at the ups and downs of life and has helpful information not only to recognise the pitfalls and repercussions of our actions, but is also helpful to navigate common problems.
A lovely, well-presented little book – would make a great gift. Eileen

[Glenda Moon · Rating 5 out of 5]

LovelandsI loved it, what a thought provoking & honest little book. Psychologist Dr Campbell has likened our life and it's challenges to a map with it's terrain. Using her life experiences, and client case studies she helps you locate your 'faultlines', navigate to a better place & have a deeper understanding of life's journey. Empowering.

[Debra Campbell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved writing Lovelands and the Kindle edition is fabulous and affordable (love ebooks so much). The only down side is that in the Kindle edition you don't get to see the map of the Lovelands - which is really lovely and adds to the reading experience.

So, I've posted a picture of the map here on Goodreads so ebook readers can check it out.

Thanks for reading Lovelands and email me if you have questions.

Deb x

[Claire Zidich · Rating 5 out of 5]

THIS BOOK WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

Now that I have your attention I would just like to recommend that every single one of you read this book. I have always loved the idea of self help books but I never really finish them. I find that they all share the same or similar message and are more often than not - frustrating.

This is different. I have never connected on such a deep level as I have with this book. I’ve been going through “love hell” recently, with the breakdown of a long term relationship 6 months ago, meeting new men, some average, some nice, some horrendous and I was fed up. Tired of trying, tired of everything.

There is no reason why I chose this particular book at the library, I just grabbed it off the shelf in the mix of hundreds of others. I have never been more thankful or grateful for a split decision. This book is not just for the broken or confused. It is for every single one of us, whether we’re in a relationship, single, heart broken, happy, confused or fortunate. If our self esteem is high or low, if we’re married or divorced. The lessons I have learnt from reading this are astounding.

It will bring you peace, it will bring you hope and it really will change your life 💜 and now I’m off to buy my own copy because I can never let this book go x

[Ruby · Rating 3 out of 5]

I did think this book was really well written and had some good advice, but I mainly listened to it because I heard the author interviewed on a podcast called Dear Nelly, and the theme of the podcast was “don’t date your therapist.” I was interested in the way dating her therapist impacted her, and she didn’t really explain it in the interview. I hoped the book might explain. Obviously there is a massive power imbalance, but it not a relationship that we see very often so I was curious about how being in that situation might bel The book was vague, so I didn’t really think I got to see how the relationship affected her, which is odd, because she really did explain the effects of all her other relationships. I think it was a missed opportunity to write about a really interesting subject. Her other relationships were pretty generic and not all that interesting, in my opinion.

[Nadisha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Each person has their own story and so this book explained my story to me in the most beautiful, simple and therapeutic way. It emphasises the importance of love and that self-love is the foremost. So far, this book has been very liberating by enlightening me on deep issues that originate from bad relationships. It outlines my faultiness as if I have written the book. I recommend this book if you think you have been struggling in love and relationships because most likely it is something you can fix because the fault lies somewhere inside you, etched much earlier in your younger days.

[Rhyll · Rating 5 out of 5]

I judged this book by its cover because I loved the cover! And fortunately, I really loved the content too. It was well-written and hard to put down. I also liked the author's idea to lay it out like a map...a love map, because love sure is a wild and diverse land! I highly recommend people read it. I've given Lovelands as a gift to many of my friends and no one has been disappointed!

[Glenda Moon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved it, what a thought provoking & honest little book. Psychologist Dr Campbell has likened our life and it's challenges to a map with it's terrain. Using her life experiences, and client case studies she helps you locate your 'faultlines', navigate to a better place & have a deeper understanding of life's journey. Empowering.

[Simone Rogers · Rating 5 out of 5]

BRILLIANT! Enjoyed the journey of this story and learnt a lot about to arm myself with the tools to live a happier life.

[Claire · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a blessing to stumble across this book at my local library. Just what I needed.

[Hutch Hussein · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written reflection and meditation on love and the impacts of our upbringing and past relationships. So many gems of wisdom shared by the author herself on her own journey.

[Eglė · Rating 3 out of 5]

I felt like listening to some not-too-serious non fiction when doing jobs around the house and this really hit the spot. I liked how author weaved through her own experiences and feelings throughout the book which made it very relatable and less dry than some psychology theory.

[Guido Colacci · Rating 2 out of 5]

It is a one-day read... I must tell you, I was quite disappointed by this book especially the parts about transference which is why I read it in the first place. She explains how perfect she sees her Therapist to be and how he clearly sets the boundaries of what can and can't happen. He follows all the rules of old school therapist/patient relationship and yet is willing to discuss it continuously. Dr. Campbellis devastated but she comes around to actually defending her therapist's position and extolls the reasons the boundaries are good and necessary. BUT, later she goes on to say, how after her therapy had ended, the good therapist reached out to her to have a relationship and it goes on to say what this was the wrong thing to do, AFTER the fact. I can relate closely to this yearning and desire for my therapist and to have a relationship with her... but she continues how this was not a good thing and goes on to preach about the power differential between therapist and patient even though this part took place AFTER her therapy had ended. It begins to sound rather condescending and sermonizing and that may be, but she is speaking from a place most people who are in the throes of transference are dying inside for... it's VERY WRONG to paint the experiences of patient/therapist relationships all based on her experience only. It was quite a letdown from what I expected. It easy to proselytize if you have experienced what 99% of people in this situation have not. Honest, perhaps, relative, perhaps, definitive, NOT EVEN CLOSE.

[Nic]

FFS! Mount danger, mindfulness mountain, the lake of self compassion, blame city tip, broken heart beach.... Nothing but an opportunity for this woman to bore the reader with her love life.