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Your Resonant Self: Guided Meditations and Exercises to Engage Your Brain's Capacity for Healing
Practices for well-being, based in neuroscience and geared toward kindness. Skills for people to learn to be with themselves in the healthiest way possible. When we experience trauma or need to find a way to protect ourselves from interpersonal hurt, we make unconscious contracts with ourselves, such as: “I will never let myself get treated that way again” or “I will never forgive myself for that.” But these contracts often result in harmful behaviors like self-criticism, lack of trust, and procrastination. Until we recognize and free ourselves from these damaging contracts, we can never truly heal. Your Resonant Self Workbook: From Self-sabotage to Self-care takes us through the world of relational neuroscience and, using the lens of unconscious contracts, explores how our brains, nervous systems, and bodies react to the brains, nervous systems, and bodies of others. Case studies, resonant-language practice, questionnaires, mediations, and journaling provide readers with healing strategies for uncovering and rewriting these contracts. Following Your Resonant Self , this workbook provides the tools to turn inward with kindness, warmth, and curiosity and create opportunities for self-healing.
384 pages, Hardcover
Published September 12, 2017
259 people are currently reading
963 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews
November 5, 2017
Given that trauma is a psycho-somatic experience, we are fortunate to be now living in an era wherein the seemingly disparate realms of neuroscience,quantum physics,conventional and alternative medicine,ancient wisdom of medicine people and other shamanic healers are coming into agreement that Homo sapiens, our human family, is wired for connection. It is also true that trauma,in one form or another, is "in the contract" for human beings, an often unavoidable component in the evolution of ourselves,our world, and the power of great and mysterious forces that contribute to individual and collective destiny. Our feelings of connection to ourselves,family systems, community and important ancestors can be painfully disrupted by the experience of overwhelming life events which result in feelings of fragmentation,isolation,confusion and despair. In her inspiring book, Sarah Peyton focuses on the potential for healing "broken connections" to our initially whole and integral selves.
While it may appear that shock and ongoing traumas are caused by external factors,in neuro-physiological reality, the trauma is not in the external stimulus but within our response to whatever is experienced as too overwhelming to integrate into the ongoing fabric of life experience. It is,of course,also true,that there are some events that would overwhelm just about anyone. And still, with time and understanding,we have the innate ability to re-negotiate our responses to overwhelming experiences.
Sarah has chosen to focus on the various levels of fragmentation that result in broken and interrupted connections and unhealthy relationship to ourselves. In introducing the element of choice, in regard to our responses,she offers a collection of personal,and other healing stories,life affirming exercises and empathic meditations as compassionate guidance through the often difficult and painful realms of unresolved trauma. Your Resonat Self is a welcome addition to an increasing wealth of information available to all concerned with the understanding and healing of trauma. (Anngwyn St. Just Ph.D. Director of the Arizona Center For Social Trauma and author of Trauma: Time,Space and Fractals and Trauma and The Human Condition:volume I-V.
While it may appear that shock and ongoing traumas are caused by external factors,in neuro-physiological reality, the trauma is not in the external stimulus but within our response to whatever is experienced as too overwhelming to integrate into the ongoing fabric of life experience. It is,of course,also true,that there are some events that would overwhelm just about anyone. And still, with time and understanding,we have the innate ability to re-negotiate our responses to overwhelming experiences.
Sarah has chosen to focus on the various levels of fragmentation that result in broken and interrupted connections and unhealthy relationship to ourselves. In introducing the element of choice, in regard to our responses,she offers a collection of personal,and other healing stories,life affirming exercises and empathic meditations as compassionate guidance through the often difficult and painful realms of unresolved trauma. Your Resonat Self is a welcome addition to an increasing wealth of information available to all concerned with the understanding and healing of trauma. (Anngwyn St. Just Ph.D. Director of the Arizona Center For Social Trauma and author of Trauma: Time,Space and Fractals and Trauma and The Human Condition:volume I-V.
November 2, 2017
I think "Your Resonant Self:" is going to be of great use to people who are sometimes unkind to themselves inside their own heads. However those people act outside their heads, I believe that being wonderful, warm, loving, supportive .... I believe that's probably really, really valuable inside your own head. And I think it may not be as common as I wish it were.
In addition, I think there are occasional other treasures, for those of us with the occasional lump in our heads or our thinking.....who'd like a bit of help with surprising difficulties in our reactions. For me, when I react to a page with surprise tears or sobs, it's a clue to me that Sarah Peyton's book has gotten close to something important for me to work on. Maybe that's just me...but it might be a clue for others as well. I've read it all through, and am going at it again, as I expect to get value out of at least five reads of this book.
In addition, I think there are occasional other treasures, for those of us with the occasional lump in our heads or our thinking.....who'd like a bit of help with surprising difficulties in our reactions. For me, when I react to a page with surprise tears or sobs, it's a clue to me that Sarah Peyton's book has gotten close to something important for me to work on. Maybe that's just me...but it might be a clue for others as well. I've read it all through, and am going at it again, as I expect to get value out of at least five reads of this book.
November 1, 2017
After setting an intention years ago to reach and live in a state of satisfaction and contentment, I have been able to spend time there, but would still fall into mystification in the face of blame (my own and others).
Coming from a highly traumatized family that I once considered "normal", I would find my inner voice screaming "Why can't they see?". Finally Sarah's offering in this book gives me the nuts and bolts of bringing my heart and mind into alignment and I am more able to hold myself with calm in the midst of chaos.
I have just begun to immerse myself into the understanding and practices suggested in Sarah's book which are beyond what is known as nonviolent communication. Already I am able to shift my perspective and choose to act or not in accordance with my integrity. I am able to stretch toward and hold myself and those in my world with loving kindness.
What an invitation!
Coming from a highly traumatized family that I once considered "normal", I would find my inner voice screaming "Why can't they see?". Finally Sarah's offering in this book gives me the nuts and bolts of bringing my heart and mind into alignment and I am more able to hold myself with calm in the midst of chaos.
I have just begun to immerse myself into the understanding and practices suggested in Sarah's book which are beyond what is known as nonviolent communication. Already I am able to shift my perspective and choose to act or not in accordance with my integrity. I am able to stretch toward and hold myself and those in my world with loving kindness.
What an invitation!
October 13, 2023
One of the best most helpful books of my life. Sarah's ability to take science and translate to useful action to change our brains is groundbreaking. I definitely recommend to anyone who has experienced trauma (so in some form or fashion everyone)
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 3, 2021
If I could give this book 10+ stars I would.
Hands down thee best healing, self-help, book I have EVER read!
This book holds you in a way that I have never even been held by a human before. Learning about the brain, learning how to speak to yourself with warmth and gentleness, and learning how to accompany yourself and others in a way that heals you deeply.
If anyone suffers from self-judgment, self-hate, depression, trauma, and those who may not, this book is more than worth it to read. There are meditations, explanations as to why we do what we do, and so many wonderful guidances that lead to the compassion and kindness we all deserve in our heart!
Hands down thee best healing, self-help, book I have EVER read!
This book holds you in a way that I have never even been held by a human before. Learning about the brain, learning how to speak to yourself with warmth and gentleness, and learning how to accompany yourself and others in a way that heals you deeply.
If anyone suffers from self-judgment, self-hate, depression, trauma, and those who may not, this book is more than worth it to read. There are meditations, explanations as to why we do what we do, and so many wonderful guidances that lead to the compassion and kindness we all deserve in our heart!
August 21, 2018
This is a beautifully presented approach to self compassion and trauma using Nonviolent Communication. Definitely worth being read by any therapist who wants to help clients with attachment wounds.
Accompanying the book are meditations on each of the elements Sarah brings up.
Surprisingly well written and thought provoking. It spoke to me in my language and pushed me thoughtfully deeper. I’m going back in for a second dip.
Accompanying the book are meditations on each of the elements Sarah brings up.
Surprisingly well written and thought provoking. It spoke to me in my language and pushed me thoughtfully deeper. I’m going back in for a second dip.
November 2, 2017
I'm still reading this and yet I couldn't wait any longer to say 'outloud' how grateful I am to have this body of work in my hands. I can almost feel my brain rewiring as I read....there is so much love, wisdom and clarity woven through this book and I know it will make a life long difference to how I relate to myself and others. Thank you Sarah Peyton for all you are and all you offer.
May 19, 2021
This book is for anyone that wants to know what it means to be kind to oneself and how to offer the self warmth and understanding that perhaps we have never experienced.
April 6, 2023
I have been reading this book along with the partner workbook and, in addition, alongside studying with Sarah. I feel so grateful for her work.
I can name any number of authors who have identified the importance of emotional intelligence, beginning with Daniel Goleman. It's been clear for a number of decades how important it is in our personal relationships and in our effectiveness at work. In addition, we live in an era of rapid deepening of our understanding of the brain and of the impact of trauma. But if you want to develop your insight and competence in this area, especially if you lack role models, what on earth do you do about it?
I originally knew of Sarah via our shared interest in Marshall Rosenberg's work under the name Nonviolent Communication or NVC, where she is a highly respected as a Certified Trainer of Nonviolent Education. In addition, Sarah has a real passion for understanding contemporary neuroscience, diving deep into the work of a number of academics, including Jaak Panksepp, James A. Coan and Matthew Lieberman. Her studies have enabled Sarah to understand how the language we use shapes the way we think about and respond to the world, and how, indeed, it shapes our brain.
What I most love about this book is the way Sarah exemplifies what she describes as "resonant language" in her writing of the book. As well as being packed full of science, translated for the non-scientist, her language fully exemplifies her approach. For me, it was often like a warm bath that calmed my body even as I was reading. This is a remarkable act of creating a bridge between contemporary neuroscience and readers hungry for a compassionate, connected and effective way of being "emotionally intelligent." I know that, even after many years of investment in my own growth and development, there's a great deal I can and want to learn from Sarah's work.
I have no doubt that this is a book I will return to again and again, so I am glad it is well indexed for reference purposes as well as including all sorts of additional goodies (recommended reading, glossary of terms, references and more.)
In short, thank you, Sarah. I am a fan.
I can name any number of authors who have identified the importance of emotional intelligence, beginning with Daniel Goleman. It's been clear for a number of decades how important it is in our personal relationships and in our effectiveness at work. In addition, we live in an era of rapid deepening of our understanding of the brain and of the impact of trauma. But if you want to develop your insight and competence in this area, especially if you lack role models, what on earth do you do about it?
I originally knew of Sarah via our shared interest in Marshall Rosenberg's work under the name Nonviolent Communication or NVC, where she is a highly respected as a Certified Trainer of Nonviolent Education. In addition, Sarah has a real passion for understanding contemporary neuroscience, diving deep into the work of a number of academics, including Jaak Panksepp, James A. Coan and Matthew Lieberman. Her studies have enabled Sarah to understand how the language we use shapes the way we think about and respond to the world, and how, indeed, it shapes our brain.
What I most love about this book is the way Sarah exemplifies what she describes as "resonant language" in her writing of the book. As well as being packed full of science, translated for the non-scientist, her language fully exemplifies her approach. For me, it was often like a warm bath that calmed my body even as I was reading. This is a remarkable act of creating a bridge between contemporary neuroscience and readers hungry for a compassionate, connected and effective way of being "emotionally intelligent." I know that, even after many years of investment in my own growth and development, there's a great deal I can and want to learn from Sarah's work.
I have no doubt that this is a book I will return to again and again, so I am glad it is well indexed for reference purposes as well as including all sorts of additional goodies (recommended reading, glossary of terms, references and more.)
In short, thank you, Sarah. I am a fan.
September 21, 2019
Reading this book has helped me feel more understood and connected and helped me create an expansive, softer space in my heart and mind - for myself, my emotions, my thoughts, my beliefs, and for others.
The author offers the validation of neuroscience and a gentle language in acknowledging the agonizing struggles of those who have experienced trauma, while providing hope and various paths to healing. Her teaching style weaves together technical neuroscience with layperson descriptions, soft reminders (of definitions, meanings), meditations, and stories to create understanding. Readers are encouraged to consciously and kindly notice sensations, give an emotion name to them, suggest the underlying unmet needs, and follow the resulting sensations and emotions.
I read this book slowly but will likely revisit parts. The author created a mini guide in the back of the book to identify which parts may want revisiting, based on one's reactions to statements - if a statements feels untrue, revisit part. The book is so lovely and thoughtful and uses such creative, expressive language, and is maybe a bit squishy and woo to some people, but to me, it is comforting and expanding and clarifying and satisfyingly nerdy - giving words, and thus freedom, to deep sensations and feelings that have been stuck inside me for years and even decades.
The author offers the validation of neuroscience and a gentle language in acknowledging the agonizing struggles of those who have experienced trauma, while providing hope and various paths to healing. Her teaching style weaves together technical neuroscience with layperson descriptions, soft reminders (of definitions, meanings), meditations, and stories to create understanding. Readers are encouraged to consciously and kindly notice sensations, give an emotion name to them, suggest the underlying unmet needs, and follow the resulting sensations and emotions.
I read this book slowly but will likely revisit parts. The author created a mini guide in the back of the book to identify which parts may want revisiting, based on one's reactions to statements - if a statements feels untrue, revisit part. The book is so lovely and thoughtful and uses such creative, expressive language, and is maybe a bit squishy and woo to some people, but to me, it is comforting and expanding and clarifying and satisfyingly nerdy - giving words, and thus freedom, to deep sensations and feelings that have been stuck inside me for years and even decades.
September 12, 2022
Early on while reading Your Resonant Self, I knew it would be a 5* read for sure. This is probably the best book on self-healing I've read. It explores how our brains, nervous systems, and bodies react to trauma, and provides healing strategies for uncovering and rewriting the contracts for survival formed with ourselves following these events. I like the gentle warmth in which the book is written, and how the neuroscience is made very accessible for a lay reader. There were some chapters I couldn't read, including those on traumatic memories; dissociation; shame; and self-hatred, but I hope to come back to these in time. I found the meditations on self-compassion; self-kindness; and general returning to calm very helpful, and I hope to incorporate these and the body awareness scan in my daily life. My spouse found the section on living with a dissociative partner very meaningful.
May 14, 2022
Fantastic, accessible knowledge about the neurobiology of trauma, complete with clear diagrams in the ebook and print formats. Each chapter contains at least one guided meditation to help heal the effects of trauma. The author follows these with an explanation as to why they are helpful.
I was recently diagnosed with disorganized attachment and finding this book feels like some healing serendipity! My trauma therapist was thrilled when I mentioned I was reading this, she thinks it’s fantastic as well. I was listening to a copy from my library and was so impressed that I returned it and purchased both the audiobook and the ebook so I’d have all the diagrams.
I was recently diagnosed with disorganized attachment and finding this book feels like some healing serendipity! My trauma therapist was thrilled when I mentioned I was reading this, she thinks it’s fantastic as well. I was listening to a copy from my library and was so impressed that I returned it and purchased both the audiobook and the ebook so I’d have all the diagrams.
June 6, 2021
Using self compassion to heal developmental trauma
This is a great book that provides the intersection of neurobiology, compassion, trauma and non-violent communications. One of the big contributions is how to talk to ourselves by finding the Needs beneath the feelings and thoughts. This is a major contribution. When you read the recommended readings, you know that Sarah understands the subject area and brings about how to use self-compassion to heal and transform ourselves.
I highly recommend this book. The chapter on self-hate is one of a kind.
This is a great book that provides the intersection of neurobiology, compassion, trauma and non-violent communications. One of the big contributions is how to talk to ourselves by finding the Needs beneath the feelings and thoughts. This is a major contribution. When you read the recommended readings, you know that Sarah understands the subject area and brings about how to use self-compassion to heal and transform ourselves.
I highly recommend this book. The chapter on self-hate is one of a kind.
December 9, 2025
Your Resonant Self didn’t just teach me about healing, it showed me how to speak to myself in a way that finally made change feel possible. The idea of “unconscious contracts” hit me with the force of truth. I could see the exact places where I had made silent promises to myself years ago without realizing the price I was still paying. Sarah Peyton’s approach is deeply human, grounded in neuroscience but delivered with such gentleness that I felt safe turning inward. This book is one of the few that genuinely shifted the way I relate to myself
December 9, 2025
What surprised me most about this book was how powerful resonant language can be. Peyton doesn’t just talk about kindness, she models it in every sentence. I’ve read plenty of books on trauma and self-compassion, but this is the first time I felt my nervous system respond while reading. The practices aren’t just exercises, they’re invitations. If emotional safety had a written form, this book would be it
December 9, 2025
This book is brilliantly structured for real-world healing. Each chapter gave me an insight, a story, and then a concrete step I could actually use that same day. The meditations and reflective questions helped me uncover patterns I never knew were there. I appreciated how the science was accessible without being oversimplified. It’s rare to find a book that honors both the brain and the heart with equal respect
December 9, 2025
As someone who has done years of trauma work, I found this book to be one of the most compassionate guides I’ve encountered. The concept of self-protective contracts made so much sense of behaviors I’ve struggled with for decades, and Peyton explains them with such warmth that shame doesn’t stand a chance. This book doesn’t push, diagnose, or demand, it walks beside you. That alone makes it invaluable
October 23, 2020
This book has many wonderful guided meditations that are meant to help heal the brain and developmental wounding. Peyton does a great job of explaining what's going on with the brain and the nervous system. I have familiarity with these concepts, but I think it would be accessible to people who aren't familiar. A great resource!
July 28, 2023
One of the most helpful books I've read about helping yourself heal. I felt my brain patterns changing as I worked through the chapters and the meditations. It has genuinely helped me develop a warm, curious inner voice to replace the viciously critical one. Highly recommend for anyone looking to feel better inside their heads!
November 4, 2017
NVC Trainer author Sarah Peyton is an innovative thinker who understands how to help us make sense of ourselves. More than self-help, this book integrates insight and information with practical tools. It's getting reviews in Psychology Today and other prominent publications.
July 13, 2020
The simplistic references to neuroscience add nothing and got annoying. Maybe there is something useful here but I couldn't find it and gave up half way through. Normally a book I don't consider worth finishing gets one star. But, since my NVC teacher recommended this book, I'll give it two.
October 10, 2020
read part of it, really liked the idea of the resonant self witness. it was hard to get thru the whole book, but i signed up for her website newsletters, cuz it seemed like she has good info and wanted it in smaller pieces.
July 21, 2022
Completely changed my life and my relationship with myself. If I could only recommend one psychology book to anyone it would be this. If you’re reading this READ THIS BOOK! So well written and informative with actionable steps for healing. I’d give it a million stars if I could.
April 25, 2021
Very connected to research, a fascinating read. Fear it is such a dense read that it will take many repeated readings to grasp better. But I am willing.
September 12, 2021
Compile your pieces with this program. Be whole. Integrate emotions with your personality. Meditations found at your resonant self.
December 12, 2021
The author is as authentic as she is exceptional.
December 10, 2025
This two-book set doesn’t just explain healing, it walks you through it with compassion and clarity. I found myself slowing down and truly listening to my inner world for the first time.
December 10, 2025
Reading Your Resonant Self alongside the Workbook made the neuroscience feel personal and usable. The concepts landed gently but powerfully
December 10, 2025
Sarah Peyton has a rare gift for explaining complex ideas in a way that feels safe and human.
December 10, 2025
The idea of unconscious contracts was eye-opening and helped me understand patterns I’ve carried for years.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews