In this painfully moving memoir, take a firsthand look at anorexia through the eyes of a young girl. Even in kindergarten, Rachel Richards knows something isn't right. By leading us through her distorted thoughts, she shines a light on the experience and mystery of mental illness.
As she grows up, unable to comprehend or communicate her inner trauma, Rachel lashes out, hurting herself, running away from home, and fighting her family. Restricting food gives her the control she craves. But after being hospitalized and force-fed, Rachel only retreats further into herself.
With a driving perfectionism, she graduates college with honors. But at sixty-nine pounds, Rachel is a shell of nervous and obsessive behaviors that have controlled her life. Years of self-harm and self-loathing have fueled the inner battles between good and evil, health and sickness, and life and death.
Acting on stage offers her moments of freedom from the skewed perceptions she's constructed over the years. But her dream of a career in theater is not enough to save her. What is the secret that will finally unleash her will to recover?
Author of the Amazon bestseller Hungry for Life: A Memoir Unlocking the Truth Inside an Anorexic Mind, Rachel Richards has always been fascinated by psychological disorders and integrative health. When she’s not writing, Rachel is a licensed massage therapist with a private practice, and hosts a hugely popular YouTube channel dedicated to teaching self-massage and wellness. Rachel lives in Manhattan with her husband and young daughter—whose vivid fantasy world inspired Glass Half Broken.
This book is an unflinching biography written by Rachel Richards, whose life begins to take a downward spiral at the tender age of 5. It is not that Rachel has bad parents or that she is being abused, it's that she knows there is something different, something bad that sets her apart from the "normal" kids. She is bullied at school - it seems children can sense when one of their own isn't really "just like" them. Despite this, she excels at school, striving for perfection in all classes. Nothing less than perfection will do. Some signs of OCD begin to take root. Rachel begins hurting herself. And, scariest of all, she begins to starve herself to get her ideal "perfect" body. Anorexia nervosa slowly begins to dominate her life, to unravel it, and to take it from her.
One thing Rachel is extremely good at, besides school, is appearing on stage. She has a beautiful voice, and it is only on stage that she is happy. Her parents try everything to help her. Nothing works. There are multiple hospitalizations where she is force fed. Rachel says the right words to get them to let her go home.
At some point, Rachel begins to beat back the demons taking over her life. Kudos to her for sharing her painful, yet triumphant, story.
This moving, insightful memoir gets right at the heart of the author's experience with the tyranny of anorexia. She does not shy away from the breadth of her experiences, whatever they are, and she tells her story in such a compelling way that I just couldn't stop reading. Although the memoir itself is of enormous value, Richards also provides a helpful appendix of information, focusing on statistics, physical signs and symptoms of anorexia, the psychology of anorexia nervosa, the role of parents and caretakers, genetics, media, Judaism, anorexia as addiction, romance and sex, obsessive-compulsive disorder, anorexia in males, anorexia vs bulimia, and treatment. Each topic in the appendix includes a short set of references to help the reader explore further.
I can't recommend this beautiful, generous-hearted memoir strongly enough, whether you are simply a fan of well-written memoir, or curious about anorexia, or whether the illness has affected you or someone you love. As I read the last chapter, I felt such deep gratitude that Richards survived her illness and found the voice to tell her story.
I appreciate this raw account of AN. My concern comes from the ending appendix with all of the statistics and research, while it’s reporting some accurate stuff it implies that only those whom are severely underweight according to the BMI are AN. Anorexia comes in many sizes, including those in which the (bullshit) BMI consider obese. This books was written late enough in the ED research to know this and yet it excluded it. I plead anyone who reads this whom are of a higher weight not discount warning signs simply because of your weight, the devastating medical complications of anorexia can occur long before one would ever reach a low BMI.
Anorexia is a difficult topic to discuss on its own, but on top of that, Dr. Richards addressed anxiety, depression, self-loathing, and so many other important issues in a way that made you really face them. Rachel's eating disorder started when she was 8-years-old, and through her narration, she takes us through her experiences and emotions from childhood to adulthood - from illness to the process of healing and the struggles that come with it. Her narration is so powerful and honest and detailed and illuminating. Sometimes, it felt a little over the top and difficult to read - but like she said, it is her perception.
Once I started to read it, I couldn't put it down. It made me feel the anger, resentment, deep sadness, and all of the tough emotions she was facing in the moment. My favorite part was when the art therapy teacher tells her she and her illness aren't the same and asks her to confront her illness.
Rachel: If I were to tell them the truth? I'd say I'm anorexic. Shelia: You're not, you know. You're a person who happens to be recovering from a disorder. A person with ideas, hopes, a lot of talent, and a big heart." Shelia: Why don't we pretend that anorexia isn't a part of you, but something completely separate and it's sitting here in this chair? What would you say to anorexia? Imagine your illness is sitting right here and you have the opportunity to talk to it. What do you want to tell it?
Rachel: "I hate it more than anything, but I'm afraid to let it go." Shelia: "It's hurting you, Rachel. It's not you. You can say no to it. You're stronger than you think. It's okay to let it go."
I loved this part because it shows that even when something is harmful for us - like an addition or eating disorder - we still grow attached to it, and struggle to let go of it. The process of letting go is long and frustrating and challenging and full of roadblocks, but it is possible, if we stick with it and allow the people who love us to help us in our journey of recovery.
At the end of her book, she includes further information on anorexia that helps give context to a complicated illness: "A person restricts food in attempt to change or shut out unwanted feelings."
It only took me a few days to read Rachel Richard’s totally absorbing memoir; “Hungry for Life”. Her story reads like a novel and I can relate to her so much. I feel as though I experienced every painful moment with author and my sadness grew as her frame continued to diminish throughout the story.
I believe Rachel was born into a loving home and afforded every privilege her upper middle class family could provide. Yet suffered tremendously from unceasing bullying throughout her entire schooling experience both at the hands of peers AND teachers, particularly within orthodox Jewish community. Looking at her life now as a healthy adult it’s clear to see the origins of her anorexia through her acting out, tantrums, self-harm, and other behaviors that were her desperate attempt to communicate how much she was hurting. Her struggle is real and honest and so is her resilience.
Rachel’s story illustrates the severely detrimental impact of bullies and bullying and how the old conventional wisdom of “ignore them and they will stop” doesn’t work. By sharing her journey along with her research the reader experiences firsthand the crippling physical ailments and the crushing emotional and spiritual despair of this disease. She also exemplifies how the shame and stigma attached to mental illness and eating disorders deters many from speaking about it and seeking help. Anorexia IS a mental illness, not a rich white girl’s disease, and telling an anorexic to “just eat” just doesn’t work. Furthermore, there is a sad glamorization of anorexia that adds further complexities for those who are vulnerable or already in need of treatment.
After reading her memoir, I now know how Rachel’s recovery was hard won. She is a fantastic writer and I hope she continue to publish articles and stories about her journey because I think she has a lot of wisdom and insight. I know I will be going to this book any time I don’t feel heard or understood.
Although this is definitely a memoir, I want to say at the outset that this is the most comprehensive and informative book on eating disorders that I have read. For not only does the reader experience the privilege in learning about someone's personal story but near the end of the book there is a wealth of information about anorexia nervosa with regard to a variety of things such as: media/social media, genetics, addiction or not, self identity, how to respond as a parent if you suspect or know your child has the illness, romance, sex and more. As a psych major who holds two degrees and graduated with high honors etc, I thought I knew most everything there is to know about this eating disorder. I stand corrected! It is clear that the author Rachel Richards put a lot of research effort into the book. I found her to be quite open about the things she felt and thought about even as a child. One can tell early on that even at a very young age, she had a painfully low self esteem and was depressed. I have to wonder whether she might have avoided the painful downward spiral into the disorder if the parents had addressed further the family dynamics and insisted on therapy for all of them. It surprised me when Rachel's half sister Valerie is introduced to the reader, to learn she was morbidly obese. It makes me curious as to how unusual it is -- or not, to have a child with anorexia in the household as WELL as, a half sibling with morbid obesity. Although the book is quite lengthy and in my opinion drags a bit here and there, I had to give it a 5 star rating because of the depth of honesty, effort and research put into it!
I was give this audiobook by the author with the understanding that I would give an honest review. I really enjoyed this book, the author read the book. Since she was an actor I loved the different voices she used for different ages and people. She also sang often which was enjoyable. This was a hard story because Rachel had such a struggle most of her life with anorexia. She lead us through her thoughts and interactions with her family. I could not put it down because I needed to find out what was coming next. In the last part of the book Rachel explained some of the science and treatments for this condition and some of the history as too why we have such a problem with young women and girls.
I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review."
This novel is heartbreaking, uplifting, and informative. Rachel at a very young age is being bullied and tormented. Her young mind is processing coping skills in a self harming way, I was surprised at how young she was and had developed this horrid disease. I myself grew up in a home of overweight parents and two brothers; I was teased for being a runt, in my mind I felt obese. Thankfully I never went through this process. I did have two niece's that did, so reading this story but very close to home. Well written, mind opening, and an honest account of life with mental illness.
Though, I found some of the narration a bit over the top,I enjoyed this book.I was not sure what to expect.Rachel is a normal child who latches on to not eating to keep slim.Her anerexia is a lifelong ailment.This book delves in to every aspect of the disease.It was informative and entertaining.Rachel herself,does a fine job narrating.“I was voluntarily provided this free review copy audiobook by the author, narrator, or publisher.”
I read this book in bite size chunks due to my hectic life and would normally lose interest half way through, but I kept going back for another chunk whenever I could. I am so glad I did, because the protagonist Rachel, and her journey through this horrible illness is so visible and achingly real, it is easy to feel every trial and emotion she has through her eyes. You cried with her. You laughed with her. You identified with her even, because of the many problems she had, everyone can identify with at least one,
All I can say about this book is WOW, I never knew. The author does a phenomenal job of telling her story of her battle with anorexia. It truly is a very complex disease. I'm glad that I won this book. I would recommend it to others that want to know more. I can not imagine living as she did. Thank you for telling your story Rachel!
This was one of the most interesting books I read this year. I learned so much more about the anorexic mind. Rachel Richards also shows a lifelong dedication to helping other anorexic people and their families by including ten-page links to other institutions for help.
There are many other factors connected with the disease that I wasn't aware of before.
Rachel's story is powerful. She does not gloss over the more difficult experiences she went through and the difficulty she was for others at times. This story rings with truth, it embodies her struggles and it allows her strength to absolutely shine. Well done, Rachel. For so much more than just sharing this story.
Trigger warnings: Bullying, talk of suicide, and eating disorders! This was a very heart wrenching read! I am in awe of the strength of this author to share this story. I highly recommend this book but be prepared to face some very hard and sensitive discussions about the realities of this illness!
I really admired the author for opening up and allowing everyone a look inside this horrible disease. She made it real and offered wonderful insights into the psychology of anorexia.
Appreciate the author’s attention to detail. Liked the simplicity of writing, easy to relate to. Very honest. Was looking for more last 2 chapters but glad for the happy ending.
Very sad story but still had a happy ending. I felt so very sorry for her and kept thinking about people I know that have this condition. It's hard to understand fully but this book helped a lot.
This memoir was really really good. Sometimes the writing made the pacing feel confusing so the timeline was a bit messed up. Otherwise, it was a really interesting read and I could relate to some parts. 4/5 Stars - a really good read
Disclaimer: I am part of the author's extended family, so I knew part of this story already.
Rachel's willingness to delve deeply into the less pleasant parts of herself, her fears and her anorexia are inspiring. While this may not be the book for someone struggling with that disease, it is definitely a book for those living with that person (or related to that person) so they can, in some way, understand what is going on.
This book is a story of one woman's experience with anorexia. Beginning at age eight, Rachel finds that one thing she can control in her life is food. I was shocked that she became an anorexic at such a young age. Throughout this story of starvation, intervention, relapse, and attempted recovery, Rachel's story will pull at your heartstrings. It doesn't pull punches or try to paint this disease in a rosy light. Instead, the huge and ongoing struggle to control her weight, understand how she should act in any situation, and to be a successful actor in musical theatre is bluntly and honestly revealed. This book really opened my eyes to why some people with anorexia don't eat, and how hard the struggle to overcome this problem is. I highly recommend this book to anyone who may know someone who they are concerned about having anorexia, and I recommend it to parents, especially parents of girls who have a hard time fitting in at school and who might make the choice of controlling their food intake in order to have control over some area in their lives.
This book will really open your eyes to the problem with anorexia. Rachel's reason for being anorexic was not the current view of the perfect woman being extremely thin, but I believe that is one of the reasons why many girls and young women becoming anorexic. I hope that if you have daughters who are overly concerned about their body size and weight, you will be able to get them help.