There's No Toilet Paper . . . on the Road Less Traveled: The Best of Travel Humor and Misadventure

by Doug Lansky (editor)

The perfect trip, where nothing goes wrong, is surely not the memorable trip, which is where everything goes wrong and one lives to tell the tale — and laugh about it. This collection captures the wackiest and most bizarre experiences of well-known writers whose travels have taken a detour. Stories include Nigel Barley escorting a monkey to the movies in Cameroon, Dave Barry vainly trying to learn more Japanese than how to order a beer, Alan Zweible high-tailing it to a nudist camp, Donna Marazzo bravely attempting to use a high-tech Italian toilet, and Richard Sterling feasting on deep-fried potato bugs in Burma. There are even practical tips here too; readers can surely learn from Mary Roach, who discovers that utilizing an Antarctic ice-sheet outhouse at the very moment a seal chooses to use its opening as a blowhole may not be the best way to start the day.

Genres: Travel, Humor, Nonfiction, Essays, Short Stories, Memoir, Adventure

216 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1998

About the author

DOUG LANSKY is an American travel writer and keynote speaker based in Sweden. He spent about 10 years traveling the world nonstop, visiting over 100 countries, and has since lived outside the US for an additional 13 years. Doug has contributed to Esquire, Men’s Journal, The Guardian, National Geographic Adventure, Reader’s Digest, COLORS Magazine, PublicRadio, and many others. He has written books for Rough Guides and Lonely Planet (advice and photo books, not guides) and has had a nationally syndicated travel column in 40 newspapers around the United States. He has always been mindful of the effects of travel writing and the impact of tourism, and currently writes about this in a regular column for Skift and speaks about it at tourism conferences around the world.

Reviews

[Eldon · Rating 2 out of 5]

There's No Toilet Paper on the Road Less Traveled but if you have this book along you won't be out of luck. If this is "The Best of Travel Humor and Misadventure" then I recommend swearing off the genre. Sufficient examples (of swearing that is) are included in the book.

I imagine the experience of a starved goose picking through cow pies for corn compares well with reading this book. You will find a little goodie now and then but you have to be be pretty desperate to keep looking.

[Edwina Book Anaconda · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 stars because I love the title and the cover makes me laugh.
The stories are mediocre and forgettable.

[Tisha.temple · Rating 4 out of 5]

Collection of stories about traveling. Some are funnier than others, but all together...it's a FABULOUS book. The story about the man visiting the nudist retreat was hilarious. I literally thought I was going to fall out of my chair I was laughing so hard.

[James Flynn · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some of the articles in this book were funny, but it's basically an 'Excerpt Book' with the obvious agenda of tempting the reader to buy one of the many other titles mentioned.

[Nathan Albright · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have read some of Doug Lansky's work and it has struck me as somewhat mixed, and that was my impression of these travel essays as well.  Travel humor is a tricky subject, and in this book a variety of authors, some of them particularly famous (Dave Barry, Steve Martin, David Letterman, Bill Bryson, Dennis Miller, and David Foster Wallace among them) attempt to convey some of the humor of some of their less pleasant and more disastrous travel experiences.  There are some reasons why this book fell a little flat for me.  For one, a lot of the "humor" of this particular book is insulting the people the writer is visiting, and I'm not interested in laughing at the accent of Virginians or the religious tourism of evangelical Christians, both of which the authors of the respective essays send up for laughs.  This is the sort of humor that may play well to hipsters and leftists, but not being either of those, I found this book a lot less enjoyable because the authors clearly had enviable travel experiences and took themselves far too seriously and the people they were around not nearly seriously enough.

This short book of less than 200 pages is made of a compilation of travel essays of a wide variety of experiences.  The first essayist talks about the awkwardness of his visit to a nudist colony in Southern California, Dave Berry then complains about his failures in learning Japanese writing, and then a less well-known writer talks about how she found out her boyfriend was cheating on her and what she did about it which was grimly humorous.  Other stories include the editor's experiences getting locked out of and into a Dutch bathroom, writings about potato bugs, an experience with a witch doctor, and watching movies in Cameroon.  There are stories here about goat racing, travels in Iran, an essay where the author fails to understand the danger of landmines, and Bill Bryson's struggles with the numbers necessary to get tickets for a train ride.  The editor himself contributes an essay on the art of riding a third world bus, an art some of us have mastered to at least some level of competence, and a variety of other essays that combine reflections on animals, mockery of people, and the authors' cluelessness about the languages of the countries they are visiting.

Is this book worth reading?  That depends.  If you like your travel writing heavy on snark and coming from people who seem particularly entitled and also highly clueless but not always aware of how clueless they sound, this is the book for you.  It was apparently this quality that endeared this book to the selectors of the small press best travel humor award that this book won when it came out.  Yet if your tastes are more humane and empathetic towards Virginians and evangelicals, for example, then you will probably find many of the stories rather annoying and off-putting.  There were some generally funny stories here, and this sort of book is likely to be a mixed bag because it's hard for humor to necessarily resonate with all of the people who come across it, but it wasn't really as funny a book as I was hoping for.  If the book did one thing right, at least, that was in demonstrating to me the nature of my own sense of humor (or lack thereof) when it comes to travel, given my own perspective and my own approach to my travel experiences, which is admittedly different than many of the writers here.

[Judy · Rating 3 out of 5]

A collection of reprints with 20 writers' trips to places far-away and not-so-far away like Joseph O'Connor's smoke-filled trip to Roanoke, Virginia. Calvin Trillin went to the south of France to explore the meaning of taureaux piscine which means just what says: a swimming pool and bulls; to win both the young bull fighters and the bull must be in the water at the same time.

On the plane from San Franciso to Tokyo, Dave Barry tried to learn Japanese, a language in which every character is important and in which one of them can change "man holding broom" to "sex with ostriches." Bill Bryson's Stroll Through Paris includes the memory of trips down hotel hallways that are lit by timed switches and a guest would have to "proceed the last furlong in total blackness."

A collection to pick up at your leisure for a quick and humorous adventure with a perfect title for a coronavirus imposed quarantine!

[Stanley B. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Printed in 1998, the short travel essays in this book were written in the 1970s through the early 1990s. I give this only as a perspective when reading the stories. As an example, motels no long ask ‘smoking’ or ‘non-smoking’ for a choice of rooms.

These essays are a satire on the misadventures that happened to famous authors during their travels. Some of the stories were very funny and some were just good to read. This is a good book to find a new author, which I did.

[Mitch · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a collection of humorous travel writings collected from various works from all over the world.

As you might suspect, some pieces are funnier than others. I venture to say everyone will find several of the pieces entertaining and humorous because...why could they not?

I did think Mr. Lansky's collection of his own humorous travel writings was funnier, (The oddly named 'Last Trout in Venice') but this one is also recommended to all you world travelers out there...

[Rogue Reader · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm interested in poop and sewers and toilets as aspects of waste management and the built environment so of course I was drawn to There's No Toilet Paper... On the Road Less Traveled. The shorts are funny, not all about poop of course, just the various mishaps and oddities that occur during travel. Glad to experience these through the written word...

[Plum-crazy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn't find the tales as funny as I had expected/hoped, although Bill Bryson can always be relied on to be amusing. The little "extras" that were at the end of each chapter & slotted in here & there, & the cartoons made me smile. On the whole an enjoyable enough read & quite a quick one too.

[Stephanie Salyer · Rating 2 out of 5]

Half of it was very funny. Some of it was pretty crude humor. But half was pretty boring although I suspect very true stories of traveling. I wouldn't read it again. But was thankful for the good laughs during this stressful year.

[Ralph · Rating 3 out of 5]

A collection of, not short stories, but excerpts from several humorous travel books. A quick, fun read to fill in a summer afternoon. Many of the pieces seem to be cut off just before the conclusion of the situations or events recounted. You are left to complete it on your own.

[Janet · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fun book to take on a trip to help you laugh at any snags in your plans.

[Cilicia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Warning: Do not read this book in public. It is seriously funny and you will embarrass yourself by laughing aloud.

[Trish Graboske · Rating 2 out of 5]

Good for reading while waiting for doctor's appointments, or when you are stuck in traffic -- and not the driver.

[Kalie Murphy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not as funny as I had hoped but still had some interesting stories

[Jane]

This collection is somewhat uneven, and I thought some of the essays could have had more of an “ending”. I loved the one about turning a bus ride in a developing nation into a Disney ride.

[Josh B · Rating 2 out of 5]

Full of Baby-boomer humor. My mom would like it (this is a burn in case anyone doesn't get it.) I do like travel books a lot though.

[Clare · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not even amusing.

[Michele Benson · Rating 3 out of 5]

All the best parts are by either Bill Bryson or Dave Barry.

[Sandeep Sinha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just discovered and loved it! Amazing humor

[Beth · Rating 3 out of 5]

Uneven collection, some very witty some easily skipped.

[Mark A.]

""

[Andrew Miller · Rating 3 out of 5]

Solidly average.

[Andie · Rating 4 out of 5]

An amusing jaunt. 3.5 stars

[Brad Erickson · Rating 3 out of 5]

There really wasn’t much humor in these stories.

[Martha · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 ... so dated

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ok, so I have to admit this one was better than some of the others put out in the series (Sand in My Bra, Whose Panties are These, etc.) but it still wasn't the greatest collection of travel stories out there. It was kind of hit and miss with the stories. They were either really good, or not so good at all.

Don't be misled by the name, this book is just a collection of short stories on the humors of travel. Its not about someone lacking toilet paper. These stories were written by various authors, some well known travel authors like Bill Bryson, others from people I have never heard of. They could range in location and a couple took place in the United States but the majority were over in Europe and Asia. Some were about the perils of travel in a foreign country, others about avoiding land mines in the desert. A particular favorite of mine took place on a luxury cruise ship where the author had difficulty with target shooting. But I had a lot of least favorites as well, like the story about what a new ride the author thinks should be at Disney, a bus ride in a developing country. It just kind of fell flat.

As said before this book had its ups and downs. There were more downs than ups, or at least flat lines though. But the few funny ones really did make the difference and I even giggled out loud for a couple of them. You could tell the regular humor writers apart from the others. Bill Bryson for example had some of the better narratives and having read some of his books I think he kept to the same tone as what he uses in them. The ones I didn't care for as much just seemed to illicit that feeling when someone tells a terrible joke and nervous laughter echos through the room. It just isn't comfortable. The stories are pretty mild and I think they'd be appropriate for just about anyone. There is a tad bit of adult humor but nothing too overwhelming.

Not bad but not awesome either. This was an overall average travel book. The stories were short so time passed quickly and I can see someone taking this along to the beach for some light reading.

There's No Toilet Paper
Copyright 2005
184 pages

Review by M. Reynard 2011

More of my reviews can be found at ifithaswords.blogspot.com

[Noel · Rating 4 out of 5]

It might be a good omen that my first book of 2009 is a series of short stories called “There’s No Toilet Paper…..on the Road Less Traveled.”
From Peru to India, from Italy to Virgeenee, in a few short pages, I got a very good idea of the humor and adventure (or misadventure depending on the case) of some well heeled travelers. Most of the short stories were taken from the authors’ various books, and true to form, there were a couple that I really enjoyed, like Dave Barry’s account of taking the family to London as a tax write off. There were also a couple that just didn’t do it for me, Bill Bryson, just a bit too ascerbic for my taste, and the late David Foster, a bit too long winded. Riding a bus in a third world country, came across as a bit presumptuous and holier-than-thou, while talking to a looney policeman in Iquitos Peru, seemed to be spot on. The best part of these short stories is that if you really like them, you can always buy the book they were taken from and if you don’t, you are done in a matter of 4 pages or so.

This volume also included some old, but very good cartoons taken from The New Yorker and other publications, which were great.

[Becca S · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had high hopes for this book. It was listed as travel humor, two categories that I enjoy, so I figured this book would be a dead ringer. Unfortunately, while it was about travel, very few of the stories were actually humorous. Most of them I found myself just being annoyed at the stupidity of the person telling the story rather than laughing with them at their experiences. There are lots of funny things that happen when traveling, so since it was short stories I kept reading thinking that the stories would get better. They didn't. I laughed only a handful of times as I read it and got more amusement from my husband's disturbed reaction and commentary on the cover art than the book itself.