Hate is Such a Strong Word

by Sarah Ayoub

I hate being invisible.

I hate that I still can′t fight my own battles.

I hate that I can′t keep up with the demands of high school.

Sophie Kazzi is in Year 12 at an all-Lebanese, all-Catholic school where she is invisible, uncool and bored out of her brain. While she′s grown up surrounded by Lebanese friends, Lebanese neighbours and Lebanese shops, she knows there′s more to life than Samboosik and Baklawa, and she desperately wants to find it.

Unfortunately, her father has antiquated ideas about women, curfews and the Lebanese ′way′. Bad news for Sophie, who was hoping to spend Year 12 fitting in and having fun - not babysitting her four younger siblings, or studying for final exams that will land her in an Accounting course she has no interest in.

Just when it looks like Sophie′s year couldn′t get any more complicated, Shehadie Goldsmith arrives at school. With an Australian father and a Lebanese mother, he′s even more of a misfit than Sophie. And with his arrogant, questioning attitude, he also has a way of getting under her skin...

But when simmering cultural tensions erupt in violence, Sophie must make a choice that will threaten her family, friends and the cultural ties that have protected her all her life.

Are her hates and complaints worth it? Or will she let go ... and somehow find her place?

Genres: Young Adult, Contemporary, Romance, Fiction, Australia, Realistic Fiction, Young Adult Contemporary

256 pages, ebook

First published September 1, 2013

About the author

Sarah Ayoub is a freelance journalist and author based in Sydney.
Her work has appeared in Marie-Claire, Sunday Style, Cosmopolitan, CLEO, Girlfriend and more, and she has spoken at numerous industry events with The Walkley Foundation, Emerging Writer's Festival, Vibewire, NSW Writer's Centre and more.
Sarah conducts writing workshops at secondary schools around NSW and blogs about her writing, inspirations and wanderlust at www.sarahayoub.com.
She loves cake, handbags, high tea and Paris.

Reviews

[Lara Knight · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is really good! It dealt with some serious issues, but it was fairly light, and the characters felt real, and I loved them all except for the ones I didn't, and I wish that I could eat the food in this book because it sounds so good, especially hummus because I love it, and the cover is pretty, and the blurb was intriguing, and it was just a really nice read!

Also, AUSTRALIAN AUTHORS! I need more of Aussie culture in my book because I live there and everything I read is set in America mostly because I am basically a stereotype YA reader.

In all seriousness though, this book dealt with some issues which I think people are largely unaware of. I loved how Sophie went through a journey of being unsure of herself to standing up for what she believed in, even when others disagreed.

Sophie just felt like such a real character, through all her mistakes, and I like that a lot. Shehadie is just basically perfect, but that's okay. I can deal with one character having no flaws if the rest of them feel real. Also, he was super cute!

If you need more Aussie YA in your life, go read this. If you think you don't, then you're probably wrong and you should still read this.

[Melanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

See more reviews at YA Midnight Reads

Thank you HarperCollins Australia for sending me this copy. No compensation was given or taken to alter this review.

The same and I are sworn enemies.

Hate: to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward; detest: to hate the enemy; to hate bigotry. Example sentence: I didn’t hate this book but I didn’t love it.

Hate Is Such A Strong Word was a book I heard very little about; but hype doesn’t say everything about a book so with the intriguing synopsis, I dug right in. It’s the last year of high school and Sophie wants to make some changes. Live her life. Yet that can’t happen when she’s living by the strict rules of her very Lebanese family. Curfews, and clear ideas of the Lebanese ‘way’, Sophie’s year isn’t starting on a good foot. Even though she attends a Lebanese school in Australia. She never really fit in. But that’s what she thought until half Lebanese, half Australian, Shehadie Goldsmith arrives. With the recent street fights and common talk about these two cultures, Sophie becomes more and more aware about the messages that are being addressed.

My first impression on Sophie was her being a completely naive and stereotyped teenage girl. I was wrong. There clearly were jarring character flaws from the beginning, however that’s what made Hate Is Such A Strong word a story worth telling and reading. Her overreacting charisma and constant complaints were irritating but I appreciated her fortitude and eagerness for ‘new’. Then we have Shehadie; moody, arrogant but always sticking to his word. I wasn’t necessarily charmed by him but his characteristics were likable enough. But what I’d like to point out is that the cliche level in Hate Is Such A Strong Word was rather… mild. Not completely noticeable but some characters, such as Dora (who reminded me particularly of Tina from Confessions of an Angry Girl) were so trite I wanted to rip my eyeballs out.

Talking about hackneyed, the romance wasn’t exactly the best. A predictable aspect which was sweet but the way it grew was with plenty of commonly seen misunderstandings. I mean, this is getting old. Other than the bumps in the relationship, the dialogue was always a joy to read, Shehadie’s narrative kept a smile on my face the whole time.

I don’t think Hate Is Such A Strong Word is simply centred on only a love story from a mixed collection of ethnic backgrounds. Themes such as bullying, culture, self-esteem and ‘sameness’ is thoroughly discussed as well as showing readers an example of a tightly grown tension spreading across a family. I wasn’t a fan of Sophie’s parents, they were over protective and always hovering over Sophie’s shoulder but Sarah Ayoub certainly has her ways to fix that.

While there were some weak points, this novel addresses many important themes that all teens should be aware of.

[Gwennie · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is no secret, to anyone who knows me, that I love Australian authors that are more obscure here where I live in the US. I’ve read enough now that I’ve even gotten a pretty decent grasp of the terminology for certain things. Like, I know what a punch up is. Or pashing. Or Uni… I suppose it’s pretty self-explanatory, but don’t burst my bubble. I feel like a pro.

When I joined an online book tour for Hate is Such a Strong Word it was because it was an AUS author, and because it was cultural. Not to say that I search out books that are cultural. I generally don’t mind one way or the other but I don’t seek them out. However, when this one was presented to me the fact that it was about a Lebanese teenager struggling with how to be a ‘good Lebanese girl’ living in modern Australia drew me to it. It was about the complexities of dealing with racism, and finding your place in the world when you don’t quite feel like the rest of your family, but you’re too confined and afraid to test the waters outside your inner circle.

I think that this book both succeeded in that, but that at times it also failed. On one hand, there were times when Sophie’s voice made me feel like this was a progressive book, pushing the idea’s of immigration and acceptance and at other times I felt like she consistently took two or three steps backwards. The ideals that Sophie had developed, nearly on her own, were admirable, but her actual character development just wasn’t there… until the ending when it was like a switch was flipped and suddenly she was telling everyone off. I just didn’t feel as though we saw the emotional and mental steps she took to get where she wanted to be.

I also have to mention that I really can’t stand irrational female characters. I have an aversion to exaggerated reactions to situations that I think are more simplified than they’re allowing it to be. Those who have continually been proven to be ‘bad’ or liars should not be trusted. Period. Anything they say should be suspect, and your first reaction shouldn’t be that the world is ending and life as you know it has been destroyed. It should be that you should discuss the problem with the people involved and get to the truth. So, sadly, I wasn’t a huge fan of Sophie’s at all.

I’m going to end on a high note, what I love about reading authors from Australia or the UK, like Hate is Such a Strong Word, is that their ideas of teenage books are more responsible than what I see taking up the shelves of my bookstores. (I’m not saying that there aren’t any US authors who do this. Just that I personally feel they’re are harder to come across.) Instead of having heroines whose existence is defined by the love of a boy and the sacrifices that must be made to be with that boy, they show us how life should really be handled. That it’s okay to put yourself, or your family, or school, ahead of a relationship. It’s alright to choose to go for that year of school abroad and hope that that boy will still be there when you get back. And it’s okay if he’s not. Because the future is a big wide beautiful thing full of amazing surprises. I wish there were more of these books.

Read this review and more at Badass Book Revews!

[Ryan Buckby · Rating 4 out of 5]

First read: July 4th 2016
Re-read: May 7th 2023

I really enjoyed this book it was a quick and easy read but it also dealt with many real issues that are current in todays society with different cultures living in Australia .

I love Sarah's writing style and the way she writes characters that feel so real and relatable because if you didn't have these types of characters in books it would become boring and uninteresting to read. I love how each character in the book had their own voice and story to tell throughout the book from the main character Sophie to her parents.

Sophie is the main character in this novel it deals with her trying to find herself and being conflicted to what is right and what is wrong for her to do, this puts her in the middle because she wants to please everyone but doesn't take the time to figure her own life out. I loved learning more about the Lebanese culture throughout the book and how they do things differently to then what i would do in my daily life. I loved how Sophie dealt with being a Lebanese Australian living in Australia and the typical stereotypes that are given to Lebanese Australians. But towards the end of the book i loved how Sophie started to stand up for herself and have her own voice towards different things that she would have kept her mouth shut at the beginning of the book.

This book was filled with so many australian cultural norms that i could really see myself doing when i was in high school. The characters were all written so well in this book and i actually enjoyed reading very real and normal people for a change. Sophie's sister Angela had me in laughing fits every time she appeared in the book, she was so funny and witty towards everyone and was the complete opposite to Sophie in many ways. Another character that i really enjoyed in this book was Shehadie and that name alone was very unique and different in itself. I enjoyed him because of the way he was written as the typical normal aussie teenage guy but also had different aspect's of his personality that made him different, especially him reading books because usually book reading is usually a female dominated leisure activity.

if you're looking for an Australian young adult novel to read and want to know more about how other cultures are in Australia and how they cope and want to know how normal aussie teenagers act i suggest you pick this book up

[Ellis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can totally see the comparisons to Looking for Alibrandi (though it's also funny because Sophie's issues with her cultural identity are almost the opposite of Josie's) but in terms of friendship, and maybe even the romance a little, this is much closer to Saving Francesca. Actually, I feel like a few of the scenarios Sophie had to deal with is what would happen if Josie had to handle some of the things that happened to Francesca. (Sorry for being so vague, but Marchetta fans: just read the damn book. You won't regret it.)

Similarities to other masterpieces aside, Hate is Such a Strong Word is an incredibly strong and rich debut that knows how to bring important and sometimes difficult and/or not-talked-about-enough issues in a very engaging way, while also letting its characters be lovable but occasionally confused and flawed people. I loved Sophie, Shehadie, the friendships, romance, intricate family relationships, thoughtfulness and complexity, and this book confirmed that Sarah Ayoub is an auto-buy author for me.

[Zemira Warner · Rating 2 out of 5]

I decided to read Hate is Such a Strong Word after finishing Ayoub's other book, The Yearbook Committee.

Sadly, I didn't love it as much as the other one. Probably should've skipped it altogether because I get extremely frustrated whenever I'm faced with sexism and double standard. I'm glad Sarah Ayoub addressed it.

Romance was rather disappointing. There were far less characters in this book than Ayoub's TYC so there was more space left to maneuver but it didn't work for me. There was something missing.

The book itself is not so bad. It just wasn't for me. Writing style kept me from dropping it sooner and if you're interested to learn about other cultures, pick this book up. I'm sure you'll enjoy it more than I did.

[Somerandom · Rating 4 out of 5]

I hate the fact that I rarely read any Australian books, fiction or not. And I hate that I rarely read anything that explores themes of racism and patriotism.
But what I most certainly did not hate was this book.

I am half Indian, Half Australian. And whilst that is not Lebanese, I can say without any doubt, that both traditional Indian and Lebanese cultures are startlingly similar. The double standards between the sexes, the gossiping, the high importance placed on family honor, reputation and loyalty. The insistence of highly educated but otherwise quiet demure women (who can cook!) and the fact that if you ever wish to be fed until you burst all you really have to do is find a housewife. And unfortunately, the tendency to build giant walls and ignorantly dismiss other cultures.

Whilst teenage me certainly tasted far more "Australian life" and the freedom that offers (for thankfully my Mum is not very traditional and Dad was the quintessential Aussie bushwacking gentleman) than Sophie does and unlike Sophie I was always in the melting pot of cultures known as Public School. Her journey and the contemplations she deals with really resonated with me.

To be deeply and intensely proud of your vibrant heritage with one part of your soul, but with the other be absolutely appalled by it's own ignorance and outdated expectations. To be brimming with pride at the Country of your birth with one half of your heart and with the other adore and cling to your traditional culture. The fear you have at the possibility at letting down either or both sides.
And to experience the ugly ignorance of both sides all the while too afraid to challenge the status quo for fear of being kicked out of both camps. Well, I know it all too well.

Sophie is a 17 year old Lebanese Australian, or perhaps a Australian Lebanese girl, living in Sydney under the ever present and persistent shadow of the Cronulla Riots. She's a feisty, smart, strong willed, albeit slightly subdued girl, constantly trying to balance her family's expectations and her yearning to experience the life the country she loves offers her.

Set against the backdrop of suburban Sydney following yet another race related brawl and told from the perspective of a snarky teenager torn between to two wholly different worlds, this tale explores themes of racism, jingoism, national pride, stereotypes, the effect the media has on race relations and yearning to belong. Whilst I do wish it delved even deeper into such issues, it is a very relatable, likable and honest story. Similar to things like Bend it like Beckham, I suppose.

The Father, although very strict, is understandable. Well, at least to those who grew up as a mixed cast or the offspring of migrants. Especially living in Sydney. Australia, although laid back and welcoming unfortunately has elements (like every country) that makes migrants a tad too scared to mingle out in the open and thus spurns their fear and overprotective nature.

Being an Aussie who doesn't read much if at all Australian fiction it was a tad refreshing to see some familiar slang, past times and places (though I'm not a Sydney - ite.)

The characters, although some are pretty cliche, are pretty likable and unlikable accordingly. The romance is much more sarcastic and therefore much more fun than your typical teen romance and the friendships and comrardery are all pleasant to read.

[Tina]

WHAT. THERE IS A YA FROM AN AUSTRALIAN-LEBANESE AUTHOR ABOUT LEBANESE HERITAGE? SAMBOOSIK. BEKLEWA. YASSSSSSSS, buying this soon!

I just found out about this book from this article. TY to WNDB for linking to this article! And this is why I should NOT get behind on bookish rounds posts!

[Heidi · Rating 3 out of 5]

This one had flashes of brilliance followed by forced conversations/situations so I could never really get 100% into it. It was still a decent read and had good messages about being true to yourself but I am not sure it will be all that memorable to me in a few days/weeks. I was also never clearly behind the protagonist and her actions, which is important in a book such as this one IMO. If this was the authors first work (I think it was?) it was definitely a good start and I would be willing to check her out again in the future.

[Julian Leatherdale · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sarah Ayoub was such a wonderful supporter of my first novel Palace of Tears that I felt I owed her the compliment of reading her debut work. And I am so glad I did! It is an insightful, compassionate and beautifully written story from the point of view of a 17-year-old Lebanese-Australian dutiful daughter, Sophie Kazzi. In her final year at an all-Lebanese Catholic high school, Sophie is going through a crisis of cultural identity as she faces her oldest school friendship coming to an end and negotiating freedoms as a teenage girl from her loving but over-protective, traditional Lebanese parents.

This conflict of loyalties is amplified when a new boy comes to the school, Shehadie Goldsmith, half-Lebanese, half-Australian, and Sophie finds herself secretly attracted to him despite the disapproval of friends and family. One of the triumphs of this book is the complex and authentic first-person voice of the main character; the other triumph is the courage with which the writer interrogates intolerance towards non-Lebanese Australians from within her own community. The story makes a strong plea for mutual understanding and tolerance in the long shadow of the 2005 Cronulla Riots and persistent stereotyping on both sides.

There is humour here too: about teenage self-dramatisation (all chapter titles begin with " I Hate..."), popular-girl schoolyard politics, the frictions and awkwardness of a first romance. But it is the tough soul-searching and self-discovery that makes this story so compelling for YA and older readers alike. What cost comes with speaking out against the prejudices and beliefs of one's own family and community? Is that a cost worth paying to find the truth in your own heart? I recommend this book to anyone interested in the lived reality of growing up in a Lebanese-Australian family.

[Steph Cuthbert · Rating 4 out of 5]

I became a big fan of Sarah Ayoub after reading The Yearbook Committee and meeting her several times (really she's so lovely). It's a strange thing to read an author's books out of chronological order, and I sort of wish I'd read them the other way around.
Although I can retrospectively see how much Sarah's writing has matured from Hate to TYC, I really do love Hate because it feels like it was written from her soul.
Hate Is Such A Strong Word tackles so many huge themes- family, racism , religion, feminism for starters- but never feels didactic. Against the backdrop of race riots, and referencing the Cronulla riots of 2005, Sophie struggles in a very real way to work out her place within her Lebanese culture, and Australia, and how those two identities can possibly meet.
Sophie is melodramatic, but as a fellow drama queen, I really like that about her.

[Eugenia (Genie In A Book) · Rating 5 out of 5]

*This review also appears on the blog Genie In A Book*

This is a book that caught my eye at BTCYA - and it certainly didn't disappoint! In Hate Is Such A Strong Word, Sarah Ayoub has created a fantastic and memorable novel where the main character is challenging cultural stereotypes, sticking to morals and values which she has for herself and taking the big step out of her comfort zone to ascertain her true identity within the broader Australian community. This novel is one in which I applaud the author for exploring the issues which can arise due to prejudices and misconceptions regarding various ethnic enclaves and finding the balance between maintaining aspects of one's cultural heritage with the 'new ways' from the country in which their family has settled.

I think about the fact that lots of the people around me are content to live in their little squares, without ever considering the plights of others. Suddenly the phrase 'ignorance is bliss' makes perfect sense, and I understand why half the kids at my school have pretty blissful lives.

What really stood out to me about this book was the main character and narrator Sophie. Coming from a Lebanese background in a relatively strict household with a father who wants to shelter her from any possible dangers of the outside world, she does stand out from some of her friends when it comes to having an early curfew, or not going to places at all because of the rules she is bound by. While she respected her family and their values, she also had those of her own. I admired her for the way in which she was assertive when others went against the new half-Australian guy Shehadie Goldsmith who came into the picture at school - even though it was a gradual progression from sticking to the crowd to being brave enough to voice her own opinion.

What is this situation if not an opportunity to grow, learn and prosper? Difference can make us stronger; we just have to be strong enough to accept it.

Aside from going into the multifaceted nature of Lebanese culture regarding social expectations, family gatherings and even the food (which sounded delicious), I really like how this novel looks at the universal experiences which all teens can relate to such as friendship dynamics shifting, boy troubles and getting along with siblings and other family members. All of these relationships are ones that Sophie had to juggle, and I felt that the depiction of these and her ways of coping with them were very relatable and realistic. I found that Hate Is Such A Strong Word is quite character-driven at its core, and with one that Sarah Ayoub has created so wonderfully, it only made me enjoy this book even more. That being said, the secondary characters also have their own distinct features and problems to deal with, adding further depth to the story.

FINAL THOUGHTS

This is my first read by Sarah Ayoub, and I can definitely say that it was an impressive one. No doubt when I see her next novel on the shelf I'll be picking it up with eager hands - because if it's anything of the same calibre as this one; then it's going to be fantastic! In all, this gets a well-deserved five stars from me.

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This novel came highly recommended by other bloggers, and I sincerely wanted to like it more than I did in the end. It is a coming-of-age story about seventeen-year-old Sophie who comes from a Lebanese-Australian family, living in Sydney. She attends a private Lebanese Catholic school which is so insular, when a half-Australian Lebanese boy joins at the start of Sophie's final year, he is ostracised and harrassed as an outsider, his mother insulted.

At home, Sophie too experiences oppression: as the oldest of four girls and one boy, Sophie is often responsible for looking after them, and her father refuses to allow her to go out, socialise or befriend people whose families he doesn't know. They live amongst other Lebanese families who all come from the same village in Lebanon, and her parents like that they know everything about them. The one black sheep in the family is her father's much-younger sister, Leila, a rebel by his standards with a sketchy history and - shock horror - a tattoo. Leila is the only one Sophie can talk to, and she helps her niece get a job at a Big W, where, it happens, the new boy from school, Shehadie Goldsmith, also works.

Sophie's tentative friendship with Shehadie confuses and scares her - she's not one to want to stand out, and while she disagrees with the way everyone treats Shehadie, she doesn't stand by him by openly being his friend. There are a lot of things in life that Sophie hates, and trying to find a balance between her Lebanese culture and her Australian identity creates an internal conflict for her. Ultimately, she feels that she would be betraying one or the other, that she couldn't have both. In this coming-of-age journey, Sophie must face up to her fears, and face up to the discrimination she sees around her, from both Lebanese and non-Lebanese Australians.

I found I learnt a lot about life in Australia for Lebanese migrants and their families, and it gave a good, compassionate insight into those, like Sophie, who struggle with the gender roles assigned by her parents' culture, and what she experiences outside the family home. But her narrative voice became somewhat grating, a bit whiny, and frustrating. Her slowness in standing up for herself and others was the cause of frustration, mostly because it was so obvious.

Ayoub's debut novel is a promising start to what I hope is a long career, writing novels, but it lacked subtlety for me, as well as an engaging, sympathetic protagonist who endeared herself to me. While I could sympathise with Sophie, and recognise that many of her experiences were irrespective of culture (being more to do with being a teenage girl in a western country), I couldn't connect as well as I'd like. Since the novel doesn't have a whole lot of plot, the strength of it rests almost entirely on the main character, and for me, Sophie just didn't quite engage me.

[Nomes · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sarah Ayoub is a stand-out new Aussie YA talent with her debut Hate is Such a Strong Word.

The teenagers in this book are smart and articulate and brave and honest and ache-y. Full of hope yet enticingly tentative -- sometimes things seem more muddled than clear. I love when teenagers are portrayed this way -- even more so here as they had this genuine vibe that made them relate-able and fun and true and 100% compelling.

Also, how open and gorgeously conflicted is Sophie in this quote (I really love her):


'I'm stoked that my barriers are finally coming down and I'm getting the chance to do something different. But something still gnaws at me, undermining my happiness As I lie awake in bed that night it hits me: I'm seventeen years old and fighting for my freedom, but I've let my aunty do more of the fighting for me. How can I expect to stop being invisible if I'm not brave enough yo make myself heard? (p.65)



This book has such an Aussie vibe, which is testament to Ayoub's talent as she writes about being Lebanese in Australia, with a rich sense of Lebanese community flush against (and mingled up with) Australian culture. Nothing is as simple as it seems. I love books that do this well (Think Looking For Alibrandi and Randa Abdel-Fattah's work) and Ayoub is right up with that calibre. While the issue of identity and family and belonging are obvious themes that emerge, I don't want to focus on that as I want to highlight just how much of a touching and effortlessly enjoyable book this is. It raises some great topics, wonderfully articulated, but mostly I just really enjoyed being in Sophie's world. Seeing Australia through her eyes. She is a delightful and strong narrator, with loveable flaws. The thing I loved most about this was the voice, which made it an effortlessly enjoyable read, and it's the voice that makes me excited for more of Ayoub's work.

Everyone gets excited when a fresh Aussie YA talent turns up on the scene -- and this is a book you should all be checking out -- and be sure to keep an eye out for future works by Ayoub. I am certain she is only just getting started as a stand-out Aussie author. This book was just gorgeous, smiley and brave.

[Trisha · Rating 3 out of 5]

I hate that I immediately want to compare this to 'Looking for Alibrandi' and 'Does my head look big in this?'. But I guess it gives others readers an idea of what to expect.

We need more of these types of books. Especially ones like this that are basically a great YA story that just happens to be about a girl trying to live in two different worlds - a traditional Lebanese Catholic one her father insists on, and the teenage Australian one she wants to embrace.

What is great about the main character Sophie, is that despite all her moaning and groaning about how much her father limits her social life (and believe me, it is A LOT), Sophie never resorts to acting out behaviour. She is a good girl, and does the right thing.

I thought Shehadie was really well developed. He is a terrific kid, and patient and understanding of Sophie's situation. I would have liked Sophie to be a bit nicer to him a bit sooner, but she herself admits to be a coward.

I thought it was interesting to leave the Dora issue so unresolved. And there was talk about the formal, drama and angst about the formal and a desperate desire to attend the formal, and then readers were left hanging. I know it wasn't going to be everything Sophie wanted, but gees, even just a glimpse of the dress and the dance?? No? Sigh. okay then.

I loved the turnabout on the use of the word 'hate'. It was clever and thought-provoking. Nice realistic ending, if a little bit alibrandi-esque. (yeah, couldn't help myself).

[Pamela Jarrouj · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was like reading a book of my life. It was awesome!! Absolutely recommend!! Well done to Sarah Ayoub, she really made a top seller with this one. The identity crisis of a typical teenager meshed with the identity crisis of being a Lebanese Australian/ Australian Lebanese.

[Judith]

Very chuffed to have been thanked in the acknowledgments of this terrific debut young adult novel.

[Adelle Woods · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is the first review I have ever written. And I’m not entirely sure what made me want to start off my review writing with Hate is Such a Strong Word by Sarah Ayoub, considering I was disappointed with it, but here we are.

I’m from Australia and I have seen this book around a lot (most likely because it’s an Australian book). The cover is really cool and eye-catching, and the blurb actually sounds intriguing and different. This year I’ve been trying to broaden my reading horizons and read more contemporary and diverse novels. Hate is Such a Strong Word seemed like a good place to start.

The beginning of the book isn’t too bad. Sophie appears to be a normal, overly dramatic teenager with a few minor struggles here and there. She’s Lebanese, but lives in Australia with her family, and often finds herself dealing with racism, sexism and extremely strict parents that are not interested in conforming to the normal Australian society. I found that Ayoub did a lot of telling, not showing. She brushes over the issues of racism and sexism without really showing how it occurs. Characters just say racist/sexist remarks here and there, people get offended and that’s it. This book had the potential to address these serious and prevalent issues and spread awareness, but it wasn’t done very well, which was a little disappointing.

Shehadie Goldsmith, who is half Australian/half Lebanese, moves to Sophie’s all-Lebanese school. Apparently, the “attraction between them might be too strong to fight.” Or, so it says in the blurb. But all I see happening between them is Sophie admitting that he’s “hot” twice, and whenever they converse, Sophie is absolutely awful towards him. She stereotypes him in the way that she herself hates being stereotyped and is constantly throwing his kind gestures back in his face.

The main thing I didn’t like about this book? Sophie, the main character. All she does is whines and complains about trivial things. She constantly acts like a childish brat and is extremely self-centred. My favourite quote in the whole entire book is “you just make a sob-story musical out of everything and eat your pain’s worth in ice-cream” which was said to Sophie, and it’s completely TRUE. Everything is about her and how her life is so difficult, she completely disregards everyone else’s struggles in the novel because hers are too important. For example, her auntie is going through a tough time and kindly tells Sophie that can’t hang out with her, and Sophie gets all stroppy and feels like she “doesn’t matter.” Like, come on, grow up. Honey, again, NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU! I really, really disliked the main character. The other characters in the novel weren’t any better. They were poorly written and everyone seemed to talk the same and have the same personality (which tends to happen in a lot of novels and it really annoys me).

The other main thing I did not like about this book was the insta-love that happened between Shehadie and Sophie. Sophie is nothing but horrible and mean to Shehadie, and then suddenly she starts talking about a possible relationship with him! Their “relationship” (if you can even call it that) was poorly, poorly developed. Then, not even ten pages later she admits, “I’m in love with Shehadie Goldsmith.” They’ve literally known each other for a few months, argue every time they see each other and hardly ever spend any time together as it is, and suddenly she’s in love with him? INSTA-LOVE IN BOOKS NEEDS TO STOP. This is not realistic or exciting or even remotely interesting! And when they have a minor falling out near the end of the book after sharing one kiss, Sophie acts like it’s the end of the word and that her heart is broken, and won’t even give Shehadie a chance to talk to her and explain. This is very childish on her part.

Now that I’ve ranted about all the things I disliked about this book, I shall mention the few things I did like:
- I really liked leaning about the Lebanese culture and seeing how it was juggled in Australia amongst the Australian culture
- I also liked that the author tried to explore the issue of racism and sexism
- I liked that it was a diverse book written in YA
- I enjoyed that it was set in Australia (although, the word “pash”, which is used on more than one occasion in this book, needs to go. No one uses it. Ever)

I do not hate this book. I just did not enjoy the author’s writing or the characters and was a little disappointed how the racism/sexism issues were addressed and explored in this novel.

[Claire O'Brien · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book, filled with teen angst, was somewhat of an insight into the lives of the Lebanese community in Australia, but I didn't feel that I learned anything very new or ground-breaking. I certainly didn't grasp some new insight into the lives of an immigrant family, despite or perhaps because of the author's determination to explain how conflicted she felt - the father's explanations were far better. I listened to the audiobook, which was narrated by the author, who unfortunately did not have a great range of inflection in her voice and read it so slowly - I actually enjoyed the second half of the book a lot more when I put it on 1.25 speed.

[Ghostly Writer · Rating 3 out of 5]

The complex nature of the ideas that were explored in this novel were captivating!

[Victoria Gillespie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very lovely , but very 2013 YA novel

[Gremlin · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is more of a 2.5.

Though the topic seemed interesting, the beginning was very weak. The characters felt forced and the writing was very "telling, not showing." The story became a bit more engaging as it progressed, but it ran very hot and cold. I couldn't get a grasp on the main character, nor could I fathom why the love interest thought she was worth his time.

Sophie is a "good girl" born in Australia, but of Lebanese decent. Smart, loyal, dedicated to her schoolwork and her family. Her parents are *very* traditional and she feels confined by them and their extremely gendered attitudes. Her school (and her suburb) are populated almost entirely by other Lebanese immigrants. Sophie's restricted life (unable to stay out late, have overnights, or attend most parties) leads to her feeling unpopular and invisible at school.

Throw in a recent, racially instigated brawl/event that has the community stirred up (that relates to a similar, more intense event from many years previous).

At this time, a new boy comes to school who is half "Aussie" and half Lebanese. And the whole school chooses to ostracize him because he's not full "Leb" (choosing to make him the brunt of their frustrations towards a society that makes stereotypes against the Lebanese). Yeah, it's kinda dumb. But I understand that kids can be kinda dumb.

But the real issues come from the fact that Shehadie (the new kid) sees something in Sophie. Which I honestly couldn't figure out why. Throughout the vast majority of the book, she does NOTHING to help him at school - and actively ignores him and/or doesn't support him (even when some of her friends DO support him). While I understand some of the reasoning behind why she didn't, it doesn't make sense that he would think of her as this lynch-pin for social change - because she totally refused to do anything that would cause anyone to think that.

So my real difficulties with this book were the main character. I wanted to like her, but found her unreasonable (for instance, if you know that a certain schoolmate is untrustworthy and trying to make you upset, why would you believe anything they say to you without checking the source?). Fortunately, she does make an attitude adjustment much later in the book and begins to speak her truth. But the problem is that you never actually understand why she's decided to stand up for justice now? Things *have* been building for her - but she never has a defining moment to change her silence. You never get to see her grow. Mostly, you just see a lot of her friends (or Shehadie) telling her what she should be doing and/or thinking and her not doing it.

I would've been much more angry about this book, but it actually ends fairly well (The last chapter actually has Sophie admitting to being a whiny mess. Self realization!). And I appreciate any book that allows you to understand a different culture, or take on the topics of racism and sexism and doesn't make the entire story about a boy - so much as figuring out what a person wants to do with their life. So for that, it wins a few marks from me.

But this could've been better.

[Angie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hate is Such a Strong Word is really great! I love reading about different cultures, so I was completely fascinated by Sophie's story. She's Lebanese, lives in Australia, goes to an all Lebanese Catholic school, and her father is very strict and traditional. Sophie feels invisible at school and is determined to change that in her final year, but there's also some tension in her community and she has to find her place and her voice in all of that. Of course, it's a boy who doesn't fit in that helps her with all of these things (but not in a romantic way!).

I read Hate is Such a Strong Word in one sitting. Yes, I did. I was hooked! It's not a particularly exciting novel, but I couldn't put it down. I loved getting into Sophie's head! She's torn about her Lebanese heritage. She loves it, but she also feels like she's Australian since that's where she was born. The Lebanese community is very tight and closed off, and yet they complain about racism and not being accepted. Well, how do they expect to change that when they only interact with each other!? The new boy at Sophie's school is only half-Lebanese which causes quite the uproar, but Sophie befriends him and sees that change is possible! Being Lebanese-Australian isn't an either/or situation. She can be both! She should be both!

Even though most of the focus on is heritage and racism, Hate is Such a Strong Word also deals with typical teenage problems. Sophie's best friend is suddenly in with the popular girls, but Sophie doesn't fit in with them and she really doesn't like them (not because they're popular, because they're mean!). There's one scene where Dora confronts Sophie about them going in different directions, and Sophie calling her out on her crap, and it was very reminiscent of something I went through with a friend in high school who ditched me to go be popular! I totally get it, Sophie!

I really liked Hate is Such a Strong Word. It frustrated me at times, because Sophie's father is just so caught up in the ways of the old country and can't see that this isn't the olden days and it's not Lebanon! He needs to adapt! His daughter is struggling because he can't let go! And community is great, but not when you completely separate yourselves from others then wonder why you're not accepted! It's all just very real and relevant. I definitely recommend it.

Read more of my reviews at Pinkindle Reads & Reviews.

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I heard the author had a new book releasing next year, it was the push I needed to sit down and finally read her debut. With life being life, I read it within 3 sitting, but it took me 10 days to finish. But I liked it! Normally I'd lose interest not having read it for days, but that wasn't the case with Hate. I did have some problems and I didn't completely love Sophie, but it was easy to read, had me turning the pages and I really enjoyed Shehadie's character. Looking forward to Sarah Ayoub's upcoming title.

[Manda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fresh and relatable. Now that the book is out, have finally gotten around to changing it from my 'to read' to 'read' shelf - especially when I was lucky enough to read this back in June

[Jordan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed 'Hate is Such a Strong Word'. The main character is in Year 12 of an Australian school, and the descriptions of the environment, like the types of students, teachers and classes encountered were spot on. It made me feel like I was back in that year of school. Sophie's experiences with year 12, even though she is of a different culture to me, managed to still be relatable because of the anxieties about fitting in, self consciousness about her appearance, and feeling like a loner all hit close to home. It wasn't completely depressing, either. Some of it was funny. A scene where Sophie gets a job at Big W was just so real, with multiple 'the customer is not always right' scenarios.

The story plays on the conflict that Sophie identifies more with Australian culture than Lebanese, which her parents are not a fan of. There's a constant push and pull about boundaries, and Sophie really struggles to get along with her family and see their perspective. Another reviewer mentioned that Lebanese culture is remarkably similar to Indian culture. My mother in law is from India and I noticed the same thing. The book gave me 'Bend it like Beckham' vibes because of the clashing of Jess and her parents in that film is very similar to what Sophie goes through. Sophie stays aware of political and feminist issues so she is more on the nose about these differences between cultures. I found this aspect of the story really interesting and appreciated how it wrapped itself up, where Sophie is able to gain a deeper understanding of her Lebanese roots, even if she disagrees with a lot of it still.

Besides the main character, the characters that are given the most detail are the love interests and Sophie's family members. All of them felt like real people, even characters that we don't end up learning much about. I don't want to spoil the romance arc though it was believable in how it resolved itself and sweet. The ending was satisfying.

I would recommend the book if you are interested in coming of age stories.

[Miranda · Rating 2 out of 5]

Look, I will say the commentary about racism and seclusion was alright and had some though-provoking ideas, I just wanted to strangle Sophie the whole time. The whole time she was like wah wah wah I don't like that my dad is my jailer and that I'm treated with extreme misogyny, and then she proceeds to do nothing about it. BITCH. If you don't start learning to stand up for yourself I'm gonna have to throw hands. I, the reader, felt like I was suffocating under his control. I genuinely couldn't imagine not feeling backed into a corner. I don't think I would be able to fight the compulsion to break free at every turn. I guess everyone is different, but she wasn't happy to be in that situation either so ... Also, the romance was so ass. I got whiplash from how quickly her feelings for him changed. One minute they were super platonic (to the point where I had to check the blurb to make sure I was reading a romance) and the next they're making out (or pashing as this book likes to say) and all her friends are confessing that they knew they liked each other. Since fucking when? That was not the vibe I picked up. Oh, and then literally 12 hours later she's all 'I'm never speaking to you again. How could you betray me?' when it is obvious to literally everyone that it was just a misunderstanding. This book likes to make fun of American movies but it is one (aside from the fact that it's a book.) Yeah, can't say I'd recommend it, but it didn't make my blood boil so it doesn't get a 1 star.

[Bree T · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sophie is 17 and as the eldest and a girl of a Lebanese Australian family she experiences her father’s attempt to adjust to no longer living in his ultra conservative village – something that he’s not at all successful at. Sophie is tired of asking, begging and pleading if she can do the simplest of things, like go down to the shops for lunch with one of her friends. As for parties or events that are not school sanctioned with teachers chaperoning? Forget it.

Entering year 12 in her conservative Catholic Lebanese school in Bankstown in western Sydney, Sophie knows that their insular environment in the heart of Little Lebanon will not prepare them for what they will face when they go on to university or work placements. This is made obvious when new student Shehadie Goldsmith arrives. He’s only half Lebanese, his father is Australian and Sophie watches as the stereotyping begins to work in reverse: Shehadie is isolated, bullied and reviled for not being Lebanese, for not adapting the cultures and the traditions of the old country. She doesn’t approve of it but Sophie is also shy and a social pariah herself, having been dumped by her best friend Dora for the more popular group. She hates the way that watching Shehadie being treated makes her feel, especially when she gets a job outside of her community and finds out that her boss is Shehadie. She gets to know him and he intrigues her just as much as he tends to infuriate her. Shehadie sees her and he pushes her to be herself – if she has the courage.

Shehadie makes Sophie see that sometimes her community is just as prejudiced and racist as the Australians they accuse of it. He makes her feel like she might be able to do something, to make a difference some way – he believes in her, even as the others seek to shove her back into the box she’s attempting to break out of. Because as much as Sophie loves her family and is proud of her culture and her traditions, she doesn’t want to live the life that her mother has lived and she doesn’t want her daughter to be treated differently because she was born female. Will she have the strength to speak out against the very beliefs she’s been brought up to believe and trust in?

This book has been stirring up a bit of interest among the mostly-Aussie YA bloggers that I follow and the topic was one that intrigued me so I picked up a copy. I grew up in what has to be one of the whitest areas in Australia – for some reason, the multicultural thing never penetrated my country town. My experience with other cultures didn’t really occur until I moved to Sydney to go to University and lived in a residential hall with Lebanese, Indian, Asian and other backgrounds. One of the things I noticed a lot was the role of girls and women and how different it often is. Some of the girls from other backgrounds had to go home every Friday and didn’t return until the Monday. Others had to be day students, not permitted to move into the halls because they were co-educational. But until I read this book, I didn’t really grasp what a lot of that would mean for girls growing up in Australia, even ones like Sophie who tended to socialise only within her own ethnic culture.

Sophie’s father is from a very conservative village and he doesn’t permit her to do anything where she may be placed in a situation that would impact negatively on her ability to find a husband and marry someone within their culture. That means no activities that aren’t school sanctioned and chaperoned appropriately or ones that aren’t held by a blood relative. She’s not even permitted to walk the five blocks to her high school but her younger brother is, simply because he’s male and the rules are different for him. He cannot destroy his reputation the way that Sophie could – and any negativity on her would also extend to that of her sisters and her parents as well. I have to admit, reading Sophie’s desperation to be allowed to do things like socialise with her friends kind of made me infuriated. My father was strict (like Sophie I’m the eldest and also a girl, so I was kind of their ‘test run’) but Sophie’s dad makes him look positively non-existent. I understand his thinking too – it’s his job to protect his family and he still kind of functions as if he’s in Lebanon and his ultra-conservative village. But he doesn’t realise that Sophie isn’t and it’s extremely difficult for her to balance her desire to please him and be a good daughter with her desire to have an actual life.

And then there’s Shehadie. I’m 31, so it’s kind of wrong but I’m going to admit that I developed quite a crush on Shehadie Goldsmith and the way in which he handles what he faces at the strict Lebanese Catholic school. He wasn’t raised in the area or within the culture so it’s all new for him and he’s alienated, bullied and judged. It didn’t strike me until after I finished this book what it must’ve been like for Shehadie, who grew up surfing with his mates down in the Shire – not a great place to come from when you are enrolling in a Lebanese school in Bankstown, given the Cronulla riots. He was sent to live with his grandparents and had probably enjoyed a lot more freedom within his school life and personal life. His friends in the Shire didn’t seem to judge him for being half Lebanese but the same did not happen when he came to Bankstown. Everyone likes to talk about how racism doesn’t exist or it only exists one way but none of that is true. It does – and Sophie perfectly expresses why it exists late in the book during the debate she takes part in about whether or not their school should accept students that are not Lebanese: that if you never mix with others, you’ll never learn to accept them. And isolation of any culture, be it Lebanese or anything else, breeds distrust of the different and wariness. All of which leads to racism.

This is the kind of book I could happily talk about forever until I had a review that never stopped. So I’ll just say that I liked everything about it: Sophie and her struggle with her culture versus her desire to live, her family, the insight into the Lebanese community and the fledgling romance with Shehadie. Especially the fledgling romance with Shehadie.

[Read3r’z Re-Vu · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book tells the story of Sophie. Australian born to Lebanese parents, she felt trapped between to cultures and boggled with expectations. Although I am not of the same culture or faith as Sophie, I saw so much of myself in her – her beliefs, how she felt about cultural identity, her apprehension about cultural community involvement and her passion to be independent – not just from friends and community but from her family and their expectations of her. We are both advocates of having your own say about your own life rather than existing to fulfil other people’s fantasies for fear of being labelled rebellious.

A lovely coming of age story that explores cultural diversity in Australia and the curse of racism/reverse racism that exists among the community and even in public schools. It was quite exciting to have the author contact me personally after reviewing this on Goodreads.com. It was even more exciting to have Sarah join Read3r’z Re-Vu as our special guest author!!!

I recommend this to all Aussie YA fans – very insightful!!

- Annie

[Gmr · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sophie and Shehadie's story is not new, but it's a new take on things. It's your typical Young Adult book filled with angst, struggles against "the man", and feelings blooming up left and right...but it also isn't as it deals with prejudice, hate crimes, and racial divisions from the not so white painted lines. That's right. In this story, the Lebanese community has the leading voice, whereas the mixed bloodlines of "New Guy" leave him the un-trusted minority. The thing about it is, it also shows how one voice can help enact change. One voice can save a soul. One voice can help uncover the courage of a community currently lost under a blanket of fear and past insecurities. So yeah, it's pretty powerful stuff, and a definite must read for those looking for strong examples of walking against the crowd in the name of GOOD and what's RIGHT.


**copy received for review; opinions are my own