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So Much I Want to Tell You: Letters to My Little Sister

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From Internet sensation Anna Akana comes a candid and poignant collection of essays about love, loss, and chasing adulthood.

In 2007, Anna Akana lost her teen sister, Kristina, to suicide. In the months that followed, she realized that the one thing helping her process her grief and begin to heal was comedy. So she began making YouTube videos as a form of creative expression and as a way to connect with others. Ten years later, Anna has more than a million subscribers who watch her smart, honest vlogs on her YouTube channel. Her most popular videos, including "How to Put On Your Face" and "Why Girls Should Ask Guys Out," are comical and provocative, but they all share a deeper message: Your worth is determined by you and you alone. You must learn to love yourself.

In So Much I Want to Tell You, Anna opens up about her own struggles with poor self-esteem and reveals both the highs and lows of coming-of-age. She offers fresh, funny, hard-won advice for young women on everything from self-care to money to sex, and she is refreshingly straightforward about the realities of dating, female friendship, and the hustle required to make your dreams come true. This is Anna's story, but, as she says, it belongs just as much to Kristina and to every other girl who must learn that growing up can be hard to do. Witty and real, Anna breaks things down in a way only a big sister can.

Advance praise for So Much I Want to Tell You

"This book is filled with the kind of honesty, vulnerability, and determination that makes Anna such a captivating person. One warning: You'll want to hug her a lot while reading this."--Natalie Tran, actress and comedian

"As a woman working in entertainment, Anna Akana is accustomed to feeling vulnerable. Which means that she's used to being brave. This book is a tribute to the duality of bravery and fear as told through Anna's experiences to date."--Hannah Hart, New York Times bestselling author of Buffering: Unshared Tales of a Life Fully Loaded

"Frank advice on how to live a productive, happy life . . . written in tribute to a 'fearless, talented, and bold' sister."--Kirkus Reviews

208 pages, Paperback

First published June 13, 2017

222 people are currently reading
5164 people want to read

About the author

Anna Akana

5 books459 followers
Anna Akana is an actress, comedian, and filmmaker most known for her online weekly show with 1.6 million subscribers. She’s been in the feature films Ant-Man and Hello, My Name Is Doris, and can be seen on Comedy Central’s Corporate. She lives in Los Angeles.

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5 stars
1,034 (26%)
4 stars
1,526 (39%)
3 stars
1,061 (27%)
2 stars
225 (5%)
1 star
37 (<1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 453 reviews
Author 1 book16.7k followers
November 22, 2018
Es una lectura honesta y cruda en algunas partes, sin importar si eres fan de Anna por su trabajo en internet; este memoir está lleno de sabiduría (mucha para la corta edad de Anna, en mi opinión) y está esperando ser disfrutado.

Es una carta de amor a su hermana Kristina, quien se suicido a las 13 años; le agradece los años que pasaron juntas y dar sentido a su vida.
Algunas partes son muy difíciles de leer, como la introducción, al igual que te reirás en otras. Anna escribe fenomenal <3
Profile Image for TL *Humaning the Best She Can*.
2,310 reviews152 followers
June 22, 2017
I received this via Goodreads Giveaways in an exchange for an honest review. All my opinions are my own:).
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Confession: I didn't know anything about Anna before winning and reading this. YouTube I don't really use that much (movie trailers, occasional interviews with my favorite actors, and watching Lizzie Bennet Diaries mostly ) and I've never hears of most of the major YouTubers.. aside from when I see reviews of said persons' books on my feed occasionally.

The description of the book caught me right away and I really wanted to give it a try.
---

I loved Anna's voice and spirit throughout. She's honest, funny, and comes across as a genuine person. Each essay is well done and there wasn't any I didn't finish.

I felt proud of her for forging her own way, learning as much as possible and not giving up. Many times I wanted to give her a big hug.

The rating? Despite the enjoying the book very much, I wasn't in love with it (not that the book is bad, its a me thing). Would still recommend, you may feel differently.

I will be checking out her YouTube channel one day soon:).

A quick but good read:)
Profile Image for Joy.
892 reviews120 followers
September 23, 2017
I had not heard of Anna Akana, nor had I watched any of her YouTube videos. I happened to see her memoir at the library and I was interested because she had lost her sister to suicide and I'm interested in mental health issues.

This is a very personal, no holds bared memoir and I found it interesting. Anna offers some good advice and life lessons. It's probably meant for a younger audience (I'm probably old enough to be Anna's mother!) but it's a worthwhile book. She doesn't spend a lot of the book writing about her sisters death, it's more about her own struggles with mental health issues and I'm for anyone who shines a light on this and isn't afraid to talk about it.
Profile Image for Aery.
8 reviews
June 19, 2017
I've read books by other YouTubers, - and regretted buying their books. But I love Anna, her content is different to most Youtubers, so naturally, I had to give her book a shot! Plus the whole premise with her younger sister being the inspiration behind it made me feel like it would be different. So I preordered the book and received it a week before it was due to actually come out.
So... was it different?
-Well, it wasn't... and it was...?

Anna's book follows the Youtuber suit of: I'll write out my life and give little snippets of advice and morals that I've gained from that experience. Which was a little disappointing to me personally, I had hoped she would bring something different to the table. At the very least, I was hoping the book would be written in the form of actual letters to her sister. - it wasn't.

That being said, it's pretty good book despite the predicable Youtuber format. She divided the book into sections: Creativity, Identity, Money and Relationships. The strongest of them, in my opinion, was 'Money', her in-depth advice based on her experiences actually in the film and social industry was very thorough and detailed. However, it is mainly centred around the 'film' industry and doesn't give much advice about business outside of that, so it has a limited audience. Her relationship section was also very entertaining as she doesn't censor herself when it comes to talking about her (un)romantic experiences. Other than that, not much else in the book was that memorable.

Her introduction was the most well written and interesting part of the book, perhaps because of the way she wrote about her sister and how raw it was. And honestly, I wish there had been more of that, more emotional writing and raw depictions of her life, rather than small anecdotes followed by morals and advice. But for what it is, it's an 'okay' book.

If you love Anna, want to make short films or just want an easy read - I'd recommend this book.
Profile Image for Book.Berries.
54 reviews4 followers
June 22, 2017
This wasn't at all what I was expecting from the title. This is Anna's memoir and she talks about her career, friendships, boyfriends and how she learned to deal with money.
It's interesting and there's some good advice here for people who are starting on the film industry and things alike. But because the title is So Much "I Want to Tell You (letters to my little sister)" I went in thinking it would be things Anna would say to her sister if she had a chance to see her again.
And I doubt it would be how to crush numbers and not be fooled by Hollywood folks.
It felt very distant to me, which is a shame because I love her YouTube channel and she's always so open and honest there.
Profile Image for Rissa.
1,565 reviews44 followers
July 26, 2017
Beautifully written I love how Anna goes through her career in YouTube and an acting and how she dealt with her sisters death. It was refreshing to hear that everything that she went through and how she got herself where she is now.
Profile Image for Randi.
1,573 reviews31 followers
May 21, 2020
I had never heard of the author's YouTube channel until I picked up this book. I expected it to be something heart-wrenching and emotional, considering her stories are supposed to be "letters" to her sister who committed suicide. The very first chapter was, but after that, it's a collection of stories about her success and internet fame, which I felt was off-putting and showing off. Most of her stories read like blog posts, rather than stories with actual emotion behind them. Overall, the book felt very juvenile. Maybe I just wasn't the target audience or maybe I expected too much from it, but this book just did nothing for me. The synopsis was misleading and didn't fit the book, so I was disappointed.
Profile Image for el.
603 reviews2,503 followers
September 3, 2020
3 1/2 stars

“Don’t wait. Make your own opportunities. There’s no better time to start than today. (…) All the time you spend wondering how to do something could be spent actually doing it—and getting better at it.“


So Much I Want to Tell You: Letters to My Little Sister is a book that is chock-full of deliciously worded anecdotes, biographical content, and advice, dipped in unmistakenly Anna Akana-ish humor, and I enjoyed reading it immensely.
“Why do people say ‘grow some balls’? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.”

If you’ve watched Anna Akana’s videos on YouTube, you’ve probably noticed how quick-witted, well-spoken, funny, and smart she is. She’s incredibly wise and knowledgable for her age, something that’s probably been helped by going through so many experiences many people much older than her haven’t gone through, and her innate ability to analyze situations and topics, formulate her opinion, and present it in a way that’s both educational and entertaining.
“Remember that the world we can see is the one that really matters, and never lose sight of that.”

I’m not a big fan of the word role model, but I do believe she has many traits that are worth striving for. Much of what she writes may seem obvious and clichéd, but they’re to the point. She touches upon topics of race, feminism, (romantic) relationships, growing up while struggling with—and learning to embrace—insecurities, trying to find your place in the world, and standing up for yourself.
“As much as I want more close friends in my life, I have to put myself first. I have to treat myself as if I were my own best friend.”

So Much I Want to Tell You: Letters to My Little Sister is sharp, thought-provoking, and poignant, and honestly, it’s just so damn quotable.

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Profile Image for Daniella.
165 reviews316 followers
July 17, 2017
4.5/5 i just which she talked less about YouTube itself. Even as someone who's done YT it's kind of dry

(Listened to the audiobook read by the author)
Profile Image for Sofi.
215 reviews27 followers
January 3, 2018
I’m really happy that I started off the new year reading this book. I’ve only seen a couple of Anna’s videos, but that’s definitely going to change after reading this. She talks about more serious topics, such as her sister’s suicide, relationships and racism in media. And she definitely gives really wonderful advice that I think people could find useful. If you’re looking for a book that is inspiring and honest, or simply want to know more about her life, then I definitely think you’ll enjoy this book.
Profile Image for Manon.
469 reviews
June 22, 2017
First of all I want to say that Anna is my favorite youtuber out there. Every week, I look forward to her upcoming video. She is so genuine, and she always tries to tackle important matters while still being funny. So of course, I had to give her book a try.

That being said, I found the book itself kind of okayish. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't great either. It is a quick and easy read, but I didn't really click on her writing. I always appreciate it when I watch her videos, but I think it isn't well suited for a book format.
Nevertheless, it was interesting reading more about her life and her experiences. Anna is a mental health advocate, she encourages women to pursue their goals and dreams and to stand up for themselves without taking no shit from any man. And I think that's great. Some essays really resonated with me - especially the one about food, I'm so grateful for that - and others did not, as I am no American influencer-slash-entrepreneur. Overall, it was still an interesting reading experience.

Despite all that, I still feel a little bit left down. I would have expected a more in-depth narrative in this book as it was labelled "letters to my little sister". First, there are no proper letters, only some essays about different topics that she would have wanted to discuss with her little sister. The introduction was the most well-written part of the book, it was raw and emotional and I wish there had been more of that in the rest of the book.

Anyway, if you like Anna, or if you could use some advice about growing into adulthood, I'd still recommend this book - or her youtube channel.
Profile Image for Sarah.
317 reviews121 followers
February 23, 2018
I've been watching Anna on youtube for a while now so I was excited to read this! This book discusses sexism, binge eating, abusive relationships, suicide and more.

One part I found hilarious was when Anna mentions a pep talk she sometimes gives herself in the mirror- “I’m a straight white male"

One of my favourite sections was "Take Your Birth Control."You can listen to a shortened version that Anna made a video about here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVmEL...
Profile Image for Denise.
45 reviews8 followers
August 8, 2017
I don't watch youtubers, so I'd never heard of Anna Akana before this book. After finishing this book, I watched a few of her videos, and found that she is exactly what I imagined from reading her book. That's what I liked about her book, the way she told her experiences and what she'd learned over the years in a very candid, open and genuine manner. She even tackled issues like suicide, depression and her past emotionally abusive relationships in a matter-of-fact way, designed not to evoke sympathy, but simply to share her life experiences with us readers. I commend her for not feeling ashamed of her past mistakes, but rather accepting it in a self-deprecating manner, learning from her past mistakes and moving on to share with us readers so we won't make the same mistakes. In fact, I think this book gives great advice for teenagers and people in their twenties, simply because her intention is not to preach, but to share. The only problem I found with this book is that some of the advice given was rather cliched and too optimistic in a slightly unrealistic way.
Profile Image for Betsy.
519 reviews
July 19, 2019
I'm not much of a YouTube user, but Anna's channel is one of the 5 I've subscribed to. When I first picked up this book, I was mentally steeling myself for an emotional look into personal letters from Anna to her sister; what I got was a book version of her videos: mental health/ self care tips and helpful life advice (on money, on social media, relationships, on reading the fine print) peppered with beautifully sarcastic quips. I love Anna's videos, so it's not a surprise that I enjoyed this book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Dulce María.
933 reviews42 followers
December 28, 2018
Una lectura agridulce donde Anna nos comparte sus experiencias en el trabajo, relaciones, amor, enfermedades mentales, racismo y muchas otras cosas.
Una bonita forma de recordar a su hermana, honrarla y decirle que la extraña.
Por cierto yo lo leí como audio libro narrado por Anna y fue una experiencia muy agradable si saben inglés anímense.
Profile Image for Gab.
171 reviews26 followers
December 4, 2019
Es más bien como un 3.5 tirando a las 4 estrellas.

Compre el libro por impulso, no pensé que me fuera a gustar tanto. La narrativa es refrescante y se siente en todo como una plática entre amigas.

Es cierto que me gustó más los capítulos sobre creatividad e identidad, pero dinero y amor también son bastante buenos.

Fue agradable conocer a Anna.

P.s: No sabía quién era Anna hasta que leí su biografía... Tampoco he visto su trabajo... Por eso digo que compre el libro por impulso
Profile Image for fer bañuelos.
883 reviews3,810 followers
July 5, 2019
que joya de verdad.

empecé este libro porque la sinopsis me llamó muchísimo. este es un libro de no ficción que es una colección de ensayos dedicados a la hermana de Anna, ya que ella se quitó la vida cuando solo tenía 13 años. En estos ensayos, Anna recopila varias cosas que ha aprendido durante su vida, y comparte enseñanzas que ella le daría a su hermana si esta siguiera con vida.

Cuando comencé este libro yo no tenia ni idea de quien era Anna Akana. No estaba enterado de que era una youtuber ni tenia presente su trabajo, pero despues de haber terminado este libro definitivamente me pondre al tanto.

Creo que de todos los libros de “influencers” este es de los mas genuinos y mejor escritos que he leido. No es pretencioso en ningun sentido, y se siente esta cualidad de crudeza en muchos de los ensayos. Anna habla de muchos temas: relaciones amorosas, sus inicios en youtube, sus gustos, su amor por la comedia, etc, y a través de ellos podemos ver que no la ha tenido nada fácil. Hay partes duras, partes divertidas y partes donde solo paraba de escuchar el audiolibro y decia “Damn”. Menciona mucho tambien todo el racismos en la industria que le ha tocado vivir y fue una perspectiva muy interesante de ver, ya que normalmente, no creemos que youtube pueda tener este tipo de problemas.

Por mas que me haya gustado el libro, debo admitir que al menos yo esperaba un poco más de presencia de la historia de su hermana. Se menciona al inicio y a veces durante los ensayos se hace referencia, pero en si ese no es el tema central del libro. Creí, mas que nada gracias a la sinopsis, que esa tragedia seria lo protagonico del libro, pero no fue asi.

Hubieron muchísimas partes donde no pude evitar verme reflejado en lo que decia Anna. Es impresionante como en pequeñas oraciones lograba encapsular sentimientos que, actualmente, son demasiado relevantes en mi vida, y leer este libro definitivamente fue una experiencia que no cambiaria por nada.

Anna es una escritora demasiado buena y espero en un futuro lo siga haciendo porque ha formado un nuevo lector y fan en mi.
Profile Image for elsa.
108 reviews
August 13, 2017
The first time I encountered Anna Akana, I didn’t know she was a Youtuber, and I’m quite certain I didn’t even know what a Youtuber was at that time of my life. It was many years ago when I stumbled across a video called Please Don’t Kill Yourself on my Tumblr dashboard.
Nonetheless, I didn’t discover her Youtube channel until much later, when I was reminded of her and I instantly looked her up, remembering how touched I had been by her video. I devoured her videos in two or three days, feeling so inspired and excited. This woman made comedic videos with important and insightful messages immersed in them. I’ve been watching her videos and more or less keeping up with her social media accounts ever since.
Anna’s book is collection of personal essays, or letters, in which she opens up about her life experiences and gives advice through them. The essays are about four main subjects: Creativity, Identity, Money, work and career and Relationships. She talks about these issues thoroughly with her admirable straightforwardness and good humor, and as I was reading I could hear her voice so clearly in my head, as if she was talking directly to me. Chapters that ended up striking me the most were “You Don’t Realize How Important Friends Are Until You’re Friendless” and “Know Your Shit”.
Anna goes from talking about deeply personal experiences, which make you want to buy a ticket to the next flight to the US just to give her a hug, to giving some solid, straightforward career and financial advice. When Anna wants something, she pursues it and strives to do it the best she can and that’s just one of the reasons why I look up to her. Overall, this book is fantastic and I enjoyed it very much. And much like its writer, you should not let its cute and petite appearance let it fool you into thinking it is nothing but a force of nature changing the world one adopted cat at a time.
Profile Image for Chris.
613 reviews84 followers
September 6, 2017
'I find it strange when people ask where ideas come from. As if Stephen King is going to point to a well in the ground and say, 'There. All my ideas come from there.'"

I love Anna's videos; they can make me smile even when I'm not in a happy mood and yet sometimes tackle deep and intense topics. I loved how she only briefly mentioned in her videos that she wrote a book (in stead of promoting the heck out of it) - and just this made me more interested. And I really liked it! It's more of a memoir than I expected, with tips about life and business, but I really enjoyed it. Anna writes in a very easy, funny and addicting way. If she would ever decide to write another book (about her six cats, her depression or her work) I would be in!

"Every single moment of every single day, we are floating. We live on a floating rock, hurtling through outer space, in an endless expansion of gas balls, black holes and other floating rocks.
My sister died. My whole family will die. I will die.

Maybe nothing matters, but that means all the bad stuff doesn't matter either. That embarrassing audition I had this morning doesn't matter. The broken friendships over the years don't matter. The only things that matter are the ones you decide matter. It's up to you to choose what to do with the time you're given on this earth."
Profile Image for Priscilla Lee.
55 reviews12 followers
March 4, 2019
Sweet memoir. I couldn't even imagine what it was like to be her; growing up with such a traumatic experience that utterly destroyed her entire family.

I admire a story where a female pursues her dreams; regardless if it ends in failure or success. She could have continued on with her life feeling sorry for herself, addicted to drugs and in constant abusive relationships. She's fucked up before, and with humility, admits her faults. Even so, she admits how she made the same mistake several times. We've all been there and wish we were adult enough to say "make a mistake but make it once" -- but the truth is its extremely common for people to make the same mistake a few times. It's the reality, and to Anna's point, at least you have this reality. Our days are numbered.

If I wasn't at the gym listening to the audiobook, I most likely would have cried at the end. Extremely touching and very sweet. I wish I could share my own insight with what I believe lies after death.
Profile Image for Theresa.
543 reviews1,508 followers
October 24, 2017
I listened to this on audiobook as I got it for free from an Audible trial.
I liked that it was narrated by Anna herself but other than that it wasn't anything special. It definitely reflects her personality well, which I liked, and I guess it could be quite interesting to younger readers/listeners that could use some advice on life matters. To me, none of this was groundbreaking or particularly original. Still a fun little thing to listen to on the way to uni.
Profile Image for Aoife.
165 reviews13 followers
August 17, 2017
4.75 stars. I loved every second of this book and read it in one sitting. This hit home in a way I couldn't have prepared for. It was inspiring in all the ways I needed. And it was upsetting in ways that everyone needs to hear at some point in their lives. I'm not currently a subscriber, but I think I need to change that. I can't wait to see what Anna does next.
Profile Image for lara.
446 reviews44 followers
January 17, 2018
I love Anna Akana and the content she creates on YouTube. Not sure how to feel about her book... some parts I feel like she was describing me and there were bits that I thoroughly enjoyed, but there were some parts I could just not relate to!
Profile Image for Fer .
289 reviews9 followers
April 24, 2021
"I think of you when I walk onstage, step in front of the camera, or confront a fear. I hope that wherever you are, if you are still out there, that we get to meet again. I hope that you’re proud of me.
I love you, Kristina Marie Akana. And I will never forget you."
Profile Image for Siddhida.
91 reviews1 follower
November 16, 2020
i love her youtube videos but somehow i found this book okayish.not bad but not that great.
Profile Image for Lizzy Seitz.
Author 2 books25 followers
June 20, 2017
4.5 out of 5 stars

So well written and full of emotions. Heartbreakingly beautiful is the best way I can describe this book
Profile Image for Kristen Corradeno.
2 reviews4 followers
July 12, 2017
This book is everything Anna Akana is in videos, powerful, vulnerable, funny, but most important, real. Please read this book, you won't regret it.
Profile Image for Tracy Mclelland-smail.
31 reviews
September 15, 2017
this wasn't what I was expecting. disappointed she talked more about her YouTube shows, her boyfriends and friendships...
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