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Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your LIfe Depended On It
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Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your LIfe Depended On It

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4.40  ·  Rating details ·  34,675 ratings  ·  2,728 reviews
A former international hostage negotiator for the FBI offers a new, field-tested approach to high-stakes negotiations—whether in the boardroom or at home.

After a stint policing the rough streets of Kansas City, Missouri, Chris Voss joined the FBI, where his career as a hostage negotiator brought him face-to-face with a range of criminals, including bank robbers and
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Audible Audio, Unabridged, 8 pages
Published May 17th 2016 by HarperAudio
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 ·  34,675 ratings  ·  2,728 reviews


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James Q. Golden
Feb 13, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: business, hypnosis
I'm sorry, but it seems you're looking for a review to help you decide if you Really want to read this book--if it's worth your time--or not. Wondering if somebody would be kind enough to provide you with that one review which would appeal to your tastes.

I have EXACTLY what you're looking for, but why would I provide it for you? I'm thinking No. Go ahead: tell me. Why would I bother saving your time with an eloquent and thorough review that would Definitely appeal to you and surely help you
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Always Pouting
A lot of what affects how much you enjoy these books is, again, how self aware you are or how much consideration you've given to how you talk to people and the best way to get what you want from others. If you already easily have any easy time convincing people, or have thought about it and are self aware of how you behave and talk to others then I don't think any of these things are going to be surprising or helpful but if you haven't ever actually considered the way you interact with people ...more
Mark
Sep 20, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
One of the best books I've read over the last few years. In my opinion, the title does NOT do it justice. While this is applicable to negotiating, and the title DOES highlight a critical component, this book is valuable to MANY types of negotiating, even situations that we may not consider to be negotiating... things that happen every day. This borrows heavily from behavioral and neuro science areas to get at the way people work (all of us). It of necessity helps gain trust. It helps in ...more
Rita Arens
Aug 17, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: top-shelf
I actually TOOK NOTES on this book.
Mario Velarde
Aug 10, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Fantastic book. While I recommend it to everyone, I almost don't want to give away a competitive edge and prefer no one reads it--it's that good!
Corinna
Sep 25, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: audible-listens
Recently, I've snagged a couple interesting titles off the Audible deal-of-the-day. This book popped up and the premise was just so interesting, I had to get it for a couple dollars.

Chris Voss, the author, was a lead FBI hostage negotiator and haggled with terrorists, kidnappers, and a host of other bad dudes for a lot of years. I had an initial concern that Chris would be authoritarian and a tad bit self-enamored when I bought the book. The only reason for this being that most
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ScienceOfSuccess
tl;dr My animated summary of Never Split the Difference is available here: https://youtu.be/pWu6ie-QXjI

Chris Voss is a former FBI hostage negotiator. If you want to learn how to negotiate, he’s your top teacher. Every chapter in his book is a lesson. Each of them feels like an episode of some crime TV series. Every lesson is based on a real-life example from author’s involvement with hostage negotiations. After the storytelling, Chris explains which negotiating techniques worked and which didn’
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Annie
Apr 29, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
The book should have been titled "Start at No in Negotiations." Often, a "no" means "wait" or "I'm not comfortable with that." Probe deeper and listen carefully to uncover key information behind the "no" (such as "I want to but I don't have the money now" or "it is actually my spouse, not me, who doesn't agree"). This is a much more effective approach than trying to get the counterpart to say "yes," which the person might say just to get rid of you.

The author, who is a former FBI hostage
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Alexander
While I enjoyed reading the book, I couldn't help realize it was mainly about how to manipulate and use people in order to get your way. No matter how Chris worded his stories, examples, and techniques it all sounded like he is teaching "how to use others for your personal (or business's) gain. I honestly felt dirty reading it as it does teach how to be a horrible person to others while smiling and coming off as a great person.
I'll say as some one with high functioning autism and learning "to
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Simon Clark
Sep 04, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
A very practical, easy to read book on the various psychological tricks and techniques you can use in persuading people to see things your way. I was recommended to read this with regards to negotiating with brands (making sponsored video content) and it has certainly beefed up my skillset. I've actually already used a bunch of tips from this book outside of formal negotiations, and I can confirm that much as some of the tricks sound unnatural on paper they really do work!

As I say, the book is
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Petr Bela
Jul 24, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: audible-us
One of the most useful books I've ever read. Full of great tips, practical examples and surprising points about negotiating (without the other party feeling they've been cheated), which can be used in business, school, or any casual situation.

A few points I've remembered:
- Every negotiation starts with a "no". If you start with questions leading to "yes" (Do you want to help the world? Do you think we should stop animal abuse? ...), the other party will go into defense mode. By getting them to
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Christopher Lawson
“WE’VE GOT YOUR SON. GIVE US ONE MILLION DOLLARS OR HE DIES!"

And so begins this surprising book. The author begins the book by relating his experience at a prestigious seminar at Harvard University. Several of the college's top negotiators put him on the spot to see how he would negotiate in a hypothetical hostage negotiation.

The author held his own against the expert negotiators, surprising the professors. How did he do so well? Mr. Voss explains that the methods used by the FBI were developed
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Mehrsa
Dec 13, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I was prepared to hate this book and lump it in with the whole useless self-help genre (which begs the question why I keep reading those books), but I actually learned a lot. The book is basically a behavioral psychology approach to negotiations. I was taught all the BATNA and rational negotiations strategies in law school, but all those assumptions were based on rationality and lack of feelings. But we now understand that we are more prone to emotional decision making (system 1 or the elephant) ...more
Andy
Jul 01, 2018 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
This does not work well as an audiobook because there's a lot of filler and hot air. I agree with the starting premise of the book, i.e. that "Getting to Yes" is more or less useless because people aren't robots: When everybody involved is nice and logical, no one needs help with negotiating.
Having said that, I'm not sure how especially useful his advice is.
Personally, I got much more out of: Talking to Crazy How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life by Mark Goulston .
I would also recommend The Introvert's Edge How the Quiet and Shy Can Outsell Anyone by Matthew Pollard . The author there recognizes that introverts have different
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Trung Pham
Oct 04, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 1-b-non-fic, 2-ebooks
This book has changed my life !

Or my reality’s simply just been bent by some tricks of Chris Voss. Because this FBI guy is an outstanding negotiator. He has a special passion in negotiating, as we can find while reading this book, some times he was so glad when hearing that someone had been captured as hostage (!)

But having said that, this book truly contains many good advice. And they are also very practical, so I rate this book 5* and recommend it for everyone who is in need of a good book in
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Simon Eskildsen
Oct 05, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: reread
What a phenomenal book. Who would've thought we could learn so much from a field that could not be further from our life: hostage negotiation. In the end this is a book about listening. It's a book about making people feel listened to. This is a compilation of secret weapons that works like black magic when put into practise. Read the three first chapters, try it, and I promise you will not be disappointed.
Jeff
Jul 13, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This is by far the best book on negotiation I've ever read and newly entered into my top reads list. Never split the difference takes conventional thinking that negotiating is logical, is about "getting to yes" and "splitting the difference" to get achieve a "win-win" situation, then flips that thinking on it's head. The author frames negotiation as two parties working collaborating where the situation is the adversary - what a great way to approach a negotiation. The author stresses the ...more
Philipp
Update 31 October 2017:

I used one of the techniques presented here (if you're asking for money, make the number look as precise as possible to imply that you've thought deeply about what exactly you need) in a small grant application to sequence some seagrasses and the grant was awarded in full, nice! Sadly I can't prove that it was awarded because I used a precise number...

Original text:

Fun short book from a former hostage negotiation expert turned business consultant. It's a bunch of
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Yevgeniy Brikman
Crap title, GREAT book.

The premise: the FBI's former chief international hostage negotiator (what a job title!) shares what he learned about negotiation throughout his career. These are the lessons the FBI has learned the hard way—those strategies that have been found to work when people's lives depend on it. And these strategies work not only for hostage negotiation, but in the types of negotiations you come across throughout life: asking a boss for a raise, convincing your kids to take out
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Andrei Savu
Apr 21, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Powerful like a knife or fire. It reads as a description of a military tool that can be used to nurture, drive change and action but also to exploit so many of the biases that plague us as humans in a very effective way. I find some ideas very challenging from an ethical and moral perspective outside of the FBI crisis negotiation realm but that doesn't dimish their power. Definitely worth reading multiple times. Take what you need to improve your life and enjoy the important history lessons.
Siobhán
It's a nice premise and I like some of the articles I've read that the author has taken part in, but honestly I picked the book up again and reached a part where the author says how you can't see things as being all about you and then proceeds to tell all these stories about himself thinking things are all about him, and it didn't grip me or provide me with anything beyond a sense of this guy has good stories to tell but that isn't what I came here for.
Yoda
Dec 09, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This is definitely an important book, I really like Voss writing style and I enjoyed his real life experience. However I didnt really learn so much, had I read it a year ago then I would get a lot more out of it. A lot of negotiations strategies he describes are part of communication in my nursing education. Types of negotiations he describes, mirroring, using non-verbal communications such as silence, reformulating, repetition, its all part of how we learn to communicate with patiens.

I still
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Paige Halper
Jan 14, 2019 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Did I really just read 288 pages of a white dude describing the world and how he manipulates others to "get the right answer" to his questions? I feel sick.

With the preface, you really believe Voss is the expert in his field (and a humble expert, which is refreshing beyond belief). But you'll also start to realize about 15 pages in that Voss' techniques only work because he lives in a world where everyone is systematically inclined to make men like him happy (either for fear of retribution or
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Rob
Excellent !!
The content. The writing style. The summary at the end of each chapter

I make no illusion that I'm going to become a better negotiator just by reading it. It requires re reading (which I'm planning to do) and practice and experience
Sreejith Puthanpurayil
A very useful book and one who's ideas I plan to test in the near future. I felt there was a lot of common ground with the charisma myth.
Rafael
Nov 11, 2017 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Alper Çuğun
Dec 19, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Totally delivers what it promises and then some: a Talebian addition to the literature about negotiation. Good pace and a nice mix of theory, summary and real-world cases that makes this a thrilling read.
Kay
Oct 14, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Brilliant book with practical tips for negotiating in any setting. I’ve personally used some of Voss’s tactics like the calibrated how questions and mirroring, and they’ve certainly helped my negotiation skills, especially when it came to asking for a raise. They keep the conversation pleasant (as much as a salary discussion can be) yet solution-oriented - so incredibly useful for discussions like this that can get quickly emotional or awkward.

For anyone who wants some negotiating tips, this is
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Donna
The author, a former hostage negotiator, put together tips in dealing with others. This actually felt like a "How to Parent the Terrible Teens." So much of this reminded me of those years. But I really liked this one. He shares how to negotiate anything that you are up against...buying a new car, job raises, promotions, etc. I also liked how he related these lessons learned and applied them to normal life. So 4 stars.

Also, the title was perfect for this book.
Matthew
Jun 06, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: favorites, business
This book on negotiating also happens to be the best book on sales I've read in a long, long time.

Most folks just skim the surface in their interactions with others, but this book will teach you how to set your ego and fears aside to break through the facades we project.

Among other incredible insights, the author reveals techniques to uncover the information that makes a sale happen or not happen (what he refers to as black swans).
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A 24 year veteran of the FBI, Chris Voss is one of the preeminent practitioners and professors of negotiating skills in the world. He is the founder and principal of The Black Swan Group, a consulting firm that provides training and advises Fortune 500 companies through complex negotiations. Voss has taught for many business schools, including the University of Southern California's Marshall ...more
“He who has learned to disagree without being disagreeable has discovered the most valuable secret of negotiation.” 40 likes
“Conflict brings out truth, creativity, and resolution.” 20 likes
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