Overcoming the Destructive Inner Voice: True Stories of Therapy and Transformation

by Robert W. Firestone, Daniel J. Siegel (Foreword)

Many people grapple with destructive thought processes or a "critical inner voice" that directs their behavior and, to varying degrees, limits their lives. Using deeply personal and very human stories based on his own clinical practice, noted psychologist Robert W. Firestone illustrates the struggles of his clients to give words to this "enemy within," and in the process overcome its damaging influence. These revealing and captivating stories offer glimpses into the uniquely human relationship that develops in the therapeutic encounter and demonstrate the powerful impact that the experience has on both client and therapist.Dr. Firestone is the originator of a therapeutic method called "Voice Therapy," by which clients learn to identify the language of the defense system and eventually separate their own point of view from its harmful effects. Each story provides an intimate look into one person's life, illuminates aspects of his or her "dark side," and highlights an important insight into the therapeutic process.This sensitively written book will evoke emotional responses in readers, and inspire them to take action to challenge the dictates of their own inner critic. Taken together, these stories underscore the distinctive merits and continuing relevance of the therapeutic process, especially in our distracted, technological world increasingly detached from feeling.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help, Audiobook, Mental Health

246 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2016

Reviews

[William Hughes · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book started out interesting enough, but WOW it got bad. Firestone's unbearably high opinion of himself oozes out through the memoirs until is saturates the pages and makes finishing this piece a nauseating slog to the end.

Firestone alleges that he cures the incurable and touts that he alone sees the redeeming qualities in patients that no one else can see - especially his female patients whom he only describes on a scale of how attractive they are / they become to him. The men are approached with a simpering, condescending narrative on their respective manhoods, or lack thereof, based on their mental health status.

This book teaches the reader nothing, except that mental health professionals, despite their calm and balanced demeanor in their offices during sessions, are just as susceptible to the follies of humanity as the rest of us. They too can fall victim to the snares of narcissism, sexism, delusions of grandeur, and sexual obsession.

[ToriBeth · Rating 1 out of 5]

Don't bother. This book is awful and misogynistic. Chapter 8 (or 9) describes an abusive man who informed the therapist about his cruel fantasies of murdering his wife and children and goes into detail about how he torments and abuses them every day. For example, he told the therapist that when he's bathing his children, he holds their head under water to the point they begin to struggle, then lets go. The therapist decided NOT to contact authorities (it's the law to safeguard in the UK, regardless of confidentiality) and started to gently challenge the abusive man's mindset... To which he replied, his wife doesn't cook and clean enough. Misogynistic, vile, cruel domestic abuser. The therapist went on at length about how this man worked on his abusive mindset and improved only to end the chapter with... "but his wife left him anyway." The therapist should have all credentials and licences removed!! She was right to leave! The bravery and strength it takes for women to take her children and leave abusive men is outstanding. The therapist has no idea the physical and psychological torment and abuse this woman and her children could have been going through by his hand! He somehow thinks this abusive man was telling the truth about his actions? The therapist believes he's a reformed man based on what?? An hour a week of gentle prodding of mindsets? There's no consideration for the safety and well-being of the wife and children at all?? People who struggle with a critical or negative inner voice are still responsible for their actions and behaviour. Therapists and mental health workers have a duty of care to their patients, AND anyone the patient may pose a risk to. Absolute SHIT.

[Candy · Rating 1 out of 5]

I get that everything in psychiatry centers around sex, but this book was sensationalized, unprofessional, and just plain icky.

[Camilla Leurs · Rating 3 out of 5]

Um... Not what I expected. I think much like a number of other reviewers we were expecting a "self help" type book. This is not that book. It's a collection of true therapy cases and their stories. It was still quite interesting to listen to. The appendix is the only place where an element of advice is given. Much of the historical data from the psychiatrist is from 50s and 60s and related to schizophrenia. So not too relatable unfortunately. However I think we can all see how our upbringing affects our current circumstances. I'm not sure exactly who the target market is for this.

[Belle F · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very dated, read more like a memoir than anything else

[Amy · Rating 1 out of 5]

The stories are wrapped up so tidily, it's as if Firestone stuck a store-bought bow on each one—here's how my patient transformed, and here's what I learned—leaving them feeling rather stilted and unnatural.

But that's not my main objection. It is this:

"She was a typical California beauty with long hair and a spectacular figure..."

"She had long, blond hair and was strikingly curvaceous."

"...over the next few months, she persevered, gradually regaining her good figure..."

"During her second year of therapy, there was also a remarkable change in her physical appearance, and I realized that she was actually pretty...she shed twenty pounds....I remember thinking that, if nothing else, the sessions were helpful to her in relation to the once-persistent weight issue."

These gratuitous descriptions of his female patients and obsession with their figures made me want to vomit. Compare that with his introductions to his male patients:

"He was a good looking fellow with a friendly demeanor..."

"Jerry Marks was a thirty-nine year old engineer suffering from an obsessive-compulsive neurosis with paranoid tendencies."

Ugh.

[Greg · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was expecting more discussion about overcoming the destructive inner voice for the readers like me. However this book reads more like a memoir or anecdotes. What I was looking for can best be found towards the very last part of the book.

Nevertheless, I liked the stories presented here. The stories are deep and full of meaning. I appreciate my life and relationship more.

[Naomi · Rating 1 out of 5]

0/5 Stars

What in the sam hill hell did I just listen to? What a bunch of psycho, non-relevant, bloviating garbage! Instead of a book on an incredibly important psychological topic, this book was NOTHING more than the author patting himself on his back with irrelevant stories.

[Jeremy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Read the open and close the gold is there. The rest I can’t recommend.

[Ana · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a very unusual book and I must say I didn't like it. I came across this book while searching for a self-help-y book on how to deal with anxiety and this was one of the top searches, so I decided to give it a go. However, after reading it I don't think it was meant to be for laymen trying to manage their anxiety.

The thing I really appreciate in this book is the idea that we should listen to our inner voice (our thoughts) especially our critical inner voice, which author called our "internalized critical voice" and our "anti-self", try to voice it as being said to us in the second person and then evaluate it and what's saying to us. I do think this is a fun and useful tip and that it could help the everyone. I was also intrigued by the idea that the author noticed that that voice in his patients was often quite similar to things their critical parent(s) said to them in childhood. If you are interested in this, you can just read the last chapter as it is explored in more details there.

And for the rest of the book - it was so weird and I do not recommend it for someone fighting anxiety and planning to seek professional help, because if you form a idea of all therapist being like him - you probably won't seek therapy. The rest of the book is written in form of "cases", the author talks about his patient, their problems and how the therapy went with them. It's like a weird memoir of this relationships with his patients, his personal opinions/events in his life and two mentions of other colleagues. Firestone is being so obnoxious that I formed very strong negative feeling for him and didn't like reading this at all. I got the impression that he is egocentric, weird, narcissistic and keeps tapping himself on the back. This book is like an epic poem about his wits. Also, too much Freudian psychoanalysis in it for my taste, but that's just me.

I don't know if other professionals liked this book better +, but this is just my perspective as a laymen reading this book.

[Erika · Rating 2 out of 5]

The title of this book is misleading. It is not a "how to" for therapists at all. Rather, it's a collection of stories from a psychologist practicing in the mid to late twentieth century. Most of the stories referenced the author's own sexuality as it comes up in therapy with his clients. This felt weird after the first couple mentions. The one positive about this book is the reminder that unconditional positive regard supersedes all else for effective, healing therapy to occur.

[Lisa Firestone · Rating 5 out of 5]

Robert Firestone offers us a poignant look into the therapy session and interactions between therapist and client. A psychological and literary treasure.. each story is so different but each reaches you emotionally. i highly recommend this touching book by a master therapist.

[Chuck · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book wants me to learn more about his "Talk Therapy", however the content of this book a listing of cases and not on the actual application of treatment techniques and how different techniques affected different clinical presentations. No meat on the bone.........

[Cory Marchildon · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title is misleading. Not a badly written book but i thought it would contain some tools.

[Book Bunny · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 bunnies

[Ryan Walker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book. Helps one understand where the critical inner voice is coming and why it is present. Also addresses how to subdue it.

[Christine Heckel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some parts of this were hard to listen to but useful perspective.

[Lindsey Oh · Rating 2 out of 5]

I mean there were some interesting stories in here, but this guy seems to really love describing his patient's breasts. 😂 made me glad I picked a heterosexual woman for my therapist.

[Abed Pablo · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was more interested in the stories of clients than the authors which were a good handful. Some good ideas to practice. 3.3/5

[Abeer Ayyoub · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is basically “tales from the couch” but like campier

[Ian · Rating 3 out of 5]

Eh 🤷‍♀️ Interesting to hear other people 's stories, but not a lot of insight gained

[Erica · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was pretty interesting until I reached Chapter 5. Up until this point, the author wrote from his own point of view, as a professional, charting the course of therapy with different patients. Chapter 5 begins from the patient’s point of view, which would have been interesting until he begins describing this patient’s experience of sexual abuse by his mother. The way it is described is very sexualized, I can imagine to illustrate the child’s confusing experience. However, the author uses such phrases like “his mother’s torrid thighs” that seem very inappropriate for this book, completely surprising and disturbing to me. I can imagine this would be very upsetting for anyone who has an abuse history to listen to. I stopped listening after this “scene.” Warning to anyone who has an abuse history or who was looking to learn something about managing their own destructive inner voice and instead was presented with the author’s narrative, imagined, and detailed scene of child abuse.

[Jamie Ward · Rating 1 out of 5]

When I initially started to read this book, it started out educational & interesting. But the further I got into the chapters, the more disturbing it became to me. It was not what I was expecting. Some of the stories describe things that should have been reported by the therapist and were not. I can't ethically or morally support it. At times I had to wonder if I was reading a non-fiction book.

The book also seems to be more male gender focused. While these are true stories, they are heavy stories about seriously destructive inner voices involving people considering murder and other dark thoughts, in detail. I would not suggest anyone to read this who is looking for a "self-help" type of book - it could be extremely triggering.

I was expecting more transformation stories on the negative inner voice of self-doubt, shame, and unworthiness. This is more of a "story about the mentally ill" than it is a self-help type of read.

[Aletha Pagett · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a provider of insight into " voice therapy" by Robert Firestone which is well narrated by Will Damron. This is an insightful and enjoyable book.

[Sunitha · Rating 1 out of 5]

What a waste of time and money. Such a disappointment

[Joshua Walls · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fascinating true stories from a pioneer in modern psychotherapy techniques. Fast read and definitely worth the time.