I Know I'm in There Somewhere: A Woman's Guide to Finding Her Inner Voice and Living a Life of Authenticity

by Helene G. Brenner, Laurence Letich

Based on her work with over a thousand women across the country, psychologist Helene G. Brenner has learned that women feel the impulse to accommodate, adapt and mold themselves to serve others at their own expense. Her solution is an invigorating new approach to women's psychology. The key to transformation, she explains, is not self-improvement, but self-acceptance—affirming and validating what we truly feel and experience and who we already are. Dr. Brenner shows women how to discover and express what they truly want and value, guiding you toward your own Inner Voice. I Know I’m In There Somewhere will show
- How to embrace, rather than fix, the Inner Voice that has been there all along
- How to distinguish the Outer Voices (the expectations of the people around you) from Your Inner Voice (the voice of your true self that goes beyond intuition and guides you wisely towards what is right for you)
- What to do when you feel that the essence of who you are is being stifled by external demands and expectations

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Womens, Personal Development, Spirituality

304 pages, Paperback

First published June 1, 2003

Reviews

[Wendy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an extraordinarily helpful book for women who have lost themselves, in big or small ways, to jobs, relationships, social expectations or children. The exercises in the book help you rediscover yourself, a first step in aligning your life with who you really are. If you're feeling like you're less of the best version of yourself that you used to be, I'd recommend this book.

[Dasha · Rating 1 out of 5]

I found this to be a very frustrating read. The tone of the book makes me want to yell out sarcastically, "So I CAN be a woman and have feelings, and even connect with them?! No way!" Maybe it is because it is 2014, and maybe it is because I live in a developed country, but even though I certainly still feel the stress of inequality between men and women, the way the author talks about this issue seems outdated and under- researched. The content of the book is general, vague, biased, and at times bordering on ridiculous. More than anything I was taken aback by the paradox: the author says something along the lines of "if you are a man, you can still benefit from this source", but on every second page there is some sort of jab or stereotype associated with being a man. If I were a guy, I probably wouldn't get past the first couple pages. Essentially, it sounds like " women deserve to be equal with men. Also, women are way more sensitive, connected, and resourceful." I couldn't finish the book, and had to skim through most of it.

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is just what I needed at this particular point in my life. I found myself relating to many of the examples in this book of women who seem to have ended up somewhere unfulfilling and unsure of how to course correct. Now that I have finished reading this book I plan to sit down and complete the “Innercizes” with intention.
This book gave me permission to want things for my life that I had written off as impossible or incompatible with my current lifestyle. It is the rally call for women to make small turns toward their dreams - Rome wasn’t built in a day.
Given that this book resonated so deeply with me, I was torn between a 4 or 5 star rating. I landed on 4 stars because I noticed a lot of overgeneralizations about men & their relation to women throughout the book. For one example, there was an entire chapter about sex in relationships that seemed to hold a major premise that men always want sex more than women do. The book was published in 2003, so I can see how some sentiments of toxic masculinity might shine through, but the book lost a star from me for this reason.

[Melanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

The message of the book was good however I found it drawn out and way longer then it should have been.

[Sooz · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a nice little book that's great for women who have stuffed their feelings for much of their lives, for one reason or another -- as women are wont to do -- that they no longer have an ability to even know what they're feeling. The author describes various methods and describes a few simple exercises. I've done this work myself but am always up for a "refresher course" as I was myself a practiced feeling-stuffer for many, many years. Good stuff, LOL (no pun intended). ☺️

[Katie Decker · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was an immense help when I found myself divorced after having lost my identity in my husband and marriage. Helped me on the road to getting back to who I really am

[Cindy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I like the premise of this book, I think it resonates with many women and I am glad that people have been able to get what they need out of this book. Personally, I felt uncomfortably out of place reading this. It feels like this book is now outdated and several overgeneralizations are made without referencing any studies (or only cherry-picking small, isolated studies to reference) to back up some...outdated opinions. Clearly not written for younger generations.

Quote from the book: "Why can a man go for months without calling his family, or forget to send birthday presents, and not have it bother him? Of course, part of the reason is that less is expected of him because "he's a man." But it's also true that he literally doesn't feel the break in the relationship the same way you do."

I don't think this is true at all. I think men can form deep familial, emotional bonds with other people, just as all human beings are predisposed to form deep familial bonds with other human beings. And I think telling women that they are just naturally better at being a family member excuses men from doing the bare minimum while putting an unfair emotional workload on women, which is, ironically, a vast part of the problem. This book reminds me a little too much of the "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" mentality, which is arguably more harmful than helpful. Agree to disagree, I guess.

[Linda · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked this book up because I’ve entered that transitional stage of soon-to-be empty nesting. My children are all quite independent now and I’ve found myself wondering who I am outside of motherhood.

While this book has a lot of good counsel and many real-life examples, reading it was a slog. Most of the time I felt there had to be more succinct ways of getting to the point. It felt long. I found myself skimming a lot!

I did appreciate the fact that the author has had years of experience working with women. Her insights are valuable. For women looking for a personal workbook, this book provides a plethora of “innercise” writing exercises that most certainly would help one zero in on their own authenticity.

[Deborah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brenner has written an excellent book to help women find their inner voice and try to live a life of authenticity. This is probably one of the best self health books I’ve ever read, and believe me I’ve ever read a lot of them. The exercises she provides you with in the book are helpful and thoughtful. I found myself examining many aspects of my life, and realizing that I put my true desires and wishes for my life on hold many times throughout my life. The book is a very easy read, yet provides insightful and thought-provoking scenarios to help you understand yourself better as well as your true visions.. I believe this book will help you to create a better life for yourself.

[Johanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is one of those books that choose you -or that you need exactly at this time. It’s packed with grace, compassion, and really tangible and helpful examples and exercises (which she calls “innercises”) to find your true north again. I enjoyed it greatly.

[Olga Tsvetkova · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read if you’re s woman :)

[boycotttelefon · Rating 4 out of 5]

a book for women, but anyone should read this.

[Aubrie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book. This is one of my favorite books I've ever read.

[Kathy Wakeling · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some interesting points and exercises to do

[Cindy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good solid advice on finding your passions and pursuing your dreams

[Susan Evert · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great read. Lots of exercises to do. I learned a lot

[Jules Hopps · Rating 5 out of 5]

Revolutionary. This book taught me how to connect with my inner voice. A must read for every woman.

[Caroline Randolph · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’ve been reading this book on and off for two years, but I finally decided to finish it. There were things I liked about it and things I didn’t. I could have done with way less of other people’s stories and more practical advice. Not sure I’d recommend this one, although I did come away from it with some helpful information — just not enough.

[Carrie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I know the title makes it sound very self-help booky but it is really good so far. It is full of things that I tell myself and hear my women friends saying all the time that are very self-depricating. It then talks about why those things we tell ourselves are not necessarily true and how to stop those "outside voices" from sinking into our consciousness.

[Amanda Booz]

This was by far one of the best books I have ever read. A perfect book if you're a woman working on her authenticity.

[Jmp · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good ideas for writing exercises. Self-discovery. I don't care to know how I got this way, so I only read the second half - - how to overcome the problems.