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Shadows & Flame #1
Infernal Magic
She's forgotten her past. Too bad her past won't return the favor.
Ursula can't remember a single thing from before three years ago, so she has to keep her life simple. All she wants is to earn enough money for rent--and maybe a bit left over for a new pair of boots.
But on her eighteenth birthday, all hell breaks loose... quite literally... when a hellhound shifter shows up in her kitchen. Kester's lethally gorgeous, and he's come with a terrifying message: Ursula owes her soul to a demon.
No one seems to care that she doesn't remember striking that deal.
Thrust in the middle of a demonic war, Ursula fights her way across New York--and through the fae realm to survive. Along the way, she must reclaim her magical knowledge and her long-forgotten skills with the blade if she wants to escape eternal damnation.
Ursula can't remember a single thing from before three years ago, so she has to keep her life simple. All she wants is to earn enough money for rent--and maybe a bit left over for a new pair of boots.
But on her eighteenth birthday, all hell breaks loose... quite literally... when a hellhound shifter shows up in her kitchen. Kester's lethally gorgeous, and he's come with a terrifying message: Ursula owes her soul to a demon.
No one seems to care that she doesn't remember striking that deal.
Thrust in the middle of a demonic war, Ursula fights her way across New York--and through the fae realm to survive. Along the way, she must reclaim her magical knowledge and her long-forgotten skills with the blade if she wants to escape eternal damnation.
309 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 1, 2016
1559 people are currently reading
4329 people want to read
About the author
C.N. Crawford
72 books8,510 followersTo get sneak peaks at the next book, sales, and news about releases, Sign up here.
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C.N. Crawford are Wall Street Journal bestselling authors of romantasy books, including books with fae, demons, and magical academies.
We write fantasy romance, urban fantasy, and portal romance. Our books often include trials, banter, and enemies to lovers stories.
CN Crawford’s books are perfect for fans of Sarah J. Maas, Jennifer L. Armentrout, K.F. Breene, and Laura Thalassa.
Note: We are actually two people--a former biologist (Nick) and a former school psychologist (Christine).
To join C.N. Crawford's fan group and chat to the authors, Click here.
To stalk on instagram, Click here.
For a free standalone novel, Sign up here.
C.N. Crawford are Wall Street Journal bestselling authors of romantasy books, including books with fae, demons, and magical academies.
We write fantasy romance, urban fantasy, and portal romance. Our books often include trials, banter, and enemies to lovers stories.
CN Crawford’s books are perfect for fans of Sarah J. Maas, Jennifer L. Armentrout, K.F. Breene, and Laura Thalassa.
Note: We are actually two people--a former biologist (Nick) and a former school psychologist (Christine).
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 210 reviews
February 11, 2021
I'm not quite 20% in and I need the pain to stop. Ursula is really, really stupid and I've spent the last hour mocking her. Here's an example. She has only just admitted that magic might be a thing. At the point where she makes this momentous admission, she has
* Accidentally set a guy on fire.
* Accidentally set a door on fire.
* Purposefully tried to set a guy on fire (sadly, he was immune).
* Been mind-whammied by someone (she only just managed to break out of it).
* Same guy manifest actual, puncture-her-wrists claws.
* Same guy manifested fangs that grew.
* Same guy pulled out a sword that glows.
* Same guy changes into a freaking wolf right in front of her.
And it isn't until he changes back and uses that sword to summon some shadow creature that she's all like, "whelp, I might as well act like magic might be real." I don't know about you, but being able to summon fire at will my very own stupid self would probably be all I'd need to think "huh, magic is a thing".
And don't get me started on her stupid plan-making. She concocts the dumbest possible plans for getting out of stuff. Like distracting the guy so she can take his sword away. She actually thinks "I'll whack him with a thing and he'll be all startled and obviously drop his sword and I can take it and kill him." She only abandons this "plan" because she's not sure she wants to kill a person. Like that was an actual eventuality.
Also, the authors think that muscle memory will let her wield a sword with training she had before she lost her memories at 15. In the three years since, she hasn't touched a sword. But that's okay, her muscles will remember. Good thing you don't need any kind of conditioning or strength training to keep that up, or anything. And good thing she can still wield that sucker with broken ribs. Like your arm doesn't use any of your chest muscles to wave swords around.
I could go on. I'm tempted to go on. But I'm not going to. Maybe I'm just getting too strict in my expectations. If you don't mind all the mental energy Ursula expends without any of it mattering, then this might be fine. For me, though, I'm happy to finally stop.
* Accidentally set a guy on fire.
* Accidentally set a door on fire.
* Purposefully tried to set a guy on fire (sadly, he was immune).
* Been mind-whammied by someone (she only just managed to break out of it).
* Same guy manifest actual, puncture-her-wrists claws.
* Same guy manifested fangs that grew.
* Same guy pulled out a sword that glows.
* Same guy changes into a freaking wolf right in front of her.
And it isn't until he changes back and uses that sword to summon some shadow creature that she's all like, "whelp, I might as well act like magic might be real." I don't know about you, but being able to summon fire at will my very own stupid self would probably be all I'd need to think "huh, magic is a thing".
And don't get me started on her stupid plan-making. She concocts the dumbest possible plans for getting out of stuff. Like distracting the guy so she can take his sword away. She actually thinks "I'll whack him with a thing and he'll be all startled and obviously drop his sword and I can take it and kill him." She only abandons this "plan" because she's not sure she wants to kill a person. Like that was an actual eventuality.
Also, the authors think that muscle memory will let her wield a sword with training she had before she lost her memories at 15. In the three years since, she hasn't touched a sword. But that's okay, her muscles will remember. Good thing you don't need any kind of conditioning or strength training to keep that up, or anything. And good thing she can still wield that sucker with broken ribs. Like your arm doesn't use any of your chest muscles to wave swords around.
I could go on. I'm tempted to go on. But I'm not going to. Maybe I'm just getting too strict in my expectations. If you don't mind all the mental energy Ursula expends without any of it mattering, then this might be fine. For me, though, I'm happy to finally stop.
August 2, 2019
Infernal Magic, the first book in the series of Shadows & Flame
I really, really tried to love this one. It really has potential and a very interesting plot. It just that I did not connect to Ursula and was disappointed with her. Kester was a bit interesting too but not enough to be hooked into. Then there's Bael, that we will probably get to know more on the next book. He may be interesting but I still can't bring myself to read the next one at the moment.
The pacing of the story was slow, it may have action scenes but sadly I struggled finishing this book. 😣
I really, really tried to love this one. It really has potential and a very interesting plot. It just that I did not connect to Ursula and was disappointed with her. Kester was a bit interesting too but not enough to be hooked into. Then there's Bael, that we will probably get to know more on the next book. He may be interesting but I still can't bring myself to read the next one at the moment.
The pacing of the story was slow, it may have action scenes but sadly I struggled finishing this book. 😣
dnf
July 17, 2016dnf at 25%
no rating or review.
i'm not the target market for this
no rating or review.
i'm not the target market for this
October 19, 2018
I was fully prepared to give this book 1.5 stars....and then Bael entered the scene. Book boyfriend crush, commence!
July 27, 2016
Action and sarcasm
Great action story, with enough sarcasm to make me smile. Possible love interests and definite danger and intrigue to keep anyone entertained.
Great action story, with enough sarcasm to make me smile. Possible love interests and definite danger and intrigue to keep anyone entertained.
July 26, 2018
It's a stretch to give this 3 stars. Until about 75% of the way in I was considering giving up on it. Not a lot terribly interesting happened until then. The premise of Ursula's predicament was ridiculous. She knew nothing of her life before she turned 15. Somehow she pledged her soul to Emerazel in exchange for the ability to light things on fire. Of course this happened during the part of her life she doesn't remember, so she has no idea why she made this stupid bargain. There don't seem to be many benefits to having the fire ability, so I'm not quite sure why anyone would throw their life away for it.
The god Emerazel collects souls. She gives people what they want for their soul. The weird thing is that people are given their end of the bargain and are expected to pay up on their 18th birthday. Ursula found a loophole. Instead of giving up her soul, she has to collect a lot of souls, so she technically becomes a demon although she doesn't change in any way.
Although Ursula was ripped from her life, not that it was a good one, she adjusted to life as a soul collector easily. It was weird that she didn't struggle with the issue of becoming a killer. I guess it didn't matter as long as her soul remained safe. She was special because there were some unusual things that happened with her. Her skills with a blade was an odd one. The skill itself wasn't odd but the fact that she became a master swordsman before the age of 15 was.
I wasn't loving any of the side characters. Kester had the biggest role. Looks like he has the potential to become a LI but I hope he doesn't. He didn't interest me in that way. I got more of a mentor/role model vibe from him than potential LI. Bael was interesting. Zee was alright. I do want to know what is going on with Ursula, but I'm not sure if I want to continue the series or not.
The god Emerazel collects souls. She gives people what they want for their soul. The weird thing is that people are given their end of the bargain and are expected to pay up on their 18th birthday. Ursula found a loophole. Instead of giving up her soul, she has to collect a lot of souls, so she technically becomes a demon although she doesn't change in any way.
Although Ursula was ripped from her life, not that it was a good one, she adjusted to life as a soul collector easily. It was weird that she didn't struggle with the issue of becoming a killer. I guess it didn't matter as long as her soul remained safe. She was special because there were some unusual things that happened with her. Her skills with a blade was an odd one. The skill itself wasn't odd but the fact that she became a master swordsman before the age of 15 was.
I wasn't loving any of the side characters. Kester had the biggest role. Looks like he has the potential to become a LI but I hope he doesn't. He didn't interest me in that way. I got more of a mentor/role model vibe from him than potential LI. Bael was interesting. Zee was alright. I do want to know what is going on with Ursula, but I'm not sure if I want to continue the series or not.
October 21, 2021
Review for book 1-4
I read this series because I had just read another book by the author which I loved and I was hoping that this series would tide me over till the other book gets released.
After reading the entire series, I can see what the reviews are talking about. Now if I had read the reviews before reading the series I would have stopped after this book but since I didn't I had to manage the mediocrity.
It wasn't really good, I feel like the same thing happened over and over again as the series progressed. The end sucked A LOT. The buildup did not match the resolution and I hate when that happens.
I read this series because I had just read another book by the author which I loved and I was hoping that this series would tide me over till the other book gets released.
After reading the entire series, I can see what the reviews are talking about. Now if I had read the reviews before reading the series I would have stopped after this book but since I didn't I had to manage the mediocrity.
It wasn't really good, I feel like the same thing happened over and over again as the series progressed. The end sucked A LOT. The buildup did not match the resolution and I hate when that happens.
May 9, 2018
Sloooow starter for me. I honestly considered just dropping it off in my DNF pile at 73%. I guess when I say the second half was better, I mean the last quarter. I mean, if you wanna get mathematical about it.
Characters:
Ursula: She's a bad ass. Or rather, she has the potential to be a bad ass. I like that by the end she was really fighter because at the beginning she depended on Kester for everything, which got annoying fast. She's feisty and she was not having the whole, 'I want to tame you' bit from Oberon. Points for that.
Kester- Meh. I get he is probably going to end up her love interest, but still meh.
Bael- That's where it's at. More than likely a love triangle, but Bael is my pick. He wasn't particularly nice, but he didn't try to be smooth like Kester did. Not that Kester was really flirty, but he just did that 'Yeah, I know you think I'm attractive' thing and I wasn't feeling it. Bael is just hot.
Zee- I want more Zee so much. She's totally the best friend type. Only Fae. Which is so much cooler.
Plot:>
Like I said, slow to start. I was pretty bored through most of it. But then it got so good at the end and I'm now in a hurry for the next. Definitely a character-driven book just because of the relationships and learning about Ursula's past.
Characters:
Ursula: She's a bad ass. Or rather, she has the potential to be a bad ass. I like that by the end she was really fighter because at the beginning she depended on Kester for everything, which got annoying fast. She's feisty and she was not having the whole, 'I want to tame you' bit from Oberon. Points for that.
Kester- Meh. I get he is probably going to end up her love interest, but still meh.
Bael- That's where it's at. More than likely a love triangle, but Bael is my pick. He wasn't particularly nice, but he didn't try to be smooth like Kester did. Not that Kester was really flirty, but he just did that 'Yeah, I know you think I'm attractive' thing and I wasn't feeling it. Bael is just hot.
Zee- I want more Zee so much. She's totally the best friend type. Only Fae. Which is so much cooler.
Plot:>
Like I said, slow to start. I was pretty bored through most of it. But then it got so good at the end and I'm now in a hurry for the next. Definitely a character-driven book just because of the relationships and learning about Ursula's past.
May 28, 2017
I like fantasy, but this book really did not hold together for me. The character arrives into the world at age 15 with no memory at all, but there is no explanation of how she survives or exploration of how she feels being alone in the world with no ties, memory or support. When she encounters the supernatural she goes from being disbelieving, yet afraid of witches to accepting that she has sold her soul for no perceptible reward and is now in a world of fae, demons and hellhounds almost without a blink.
Add to that she is supposed to have been some sort of scholar and master swordswoman before the age of 15. Oh and found time to have made a pact with, not to mention annoyed, an immortal goddess of fire. And the whole premise of chasing people to get them to sign their pact is stupid. Wouldn't you do that before they got the benefits? This makes no sense.
Plus the guy who is supposed to have been born in the 1600s is called Kester. Really?
No one's motivations make more than the most superficial sense and the plot really doesn't go anywhere. The only reason it gets two stars is I finished it and the writing itself wasn't terrible. Not worth a waste of my Sunday, though.
Add to that she is supposed to have been some sort of scholar and master swordswoman before the age of 15. Oh and found time to have made a pact with, not to mention annoyed, an immortal goddess of fire. And the whole premise of chasing people to get them to sign their pact is stupid. Wouldn't you do that before they got the benefits? This makes no sense.
Plus the guy who is supposed to have been born in the 1600s is called Kester. Really?
No one's motivations make more than the most superficial sense and the plot really doesn't go anywhere. The only reason it gets two stars is I finished it and the writing itself wasn't terrible. Not worth a waste of my Sunday, though.
May 14, 2022
DNF at 24%. It just dragged to long and the heroine was just so dumb and naive. Like she was shocked magic existed even though she had magically lit shit on fire for a while. Normally something I would like but doesn’t work for me. I liked 4 other books by the author but not this one.
October 31, 2017
Oct 2017 audible version 4 stars (Skimmed the audiable as a reminder to book 3)
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July 2016 4 stars kindle version
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July 2016 4 stars kindle version
July 3, 2017
Really awesome start to the series! There is a lot of action and a little romance. The character development was really good, and the book was easy to read. I wish we could learn more about Ursula, but this is a part of a series, so I'm not too concerned.
Summary:
Strong heroine
Good character development
Good action
Summary:
Strong heroine
Good character development
Good action
April 12, 2019
Interesting start although it was boring at some parts. Still, I might be there for the next book because I'm curious with Ursula's identity and how she lost her memory.
November 14, 2016
I enjoyed it though parts were frustrating. I plan to read the next in the series.
May 2, 2018
Ursula has no memories from before she was 15. She was found in a burnt down church with a note in her hand "ask for a trial". Since then, she's barely been scraping by, is practically homeless and was recently dumped by her boyfriend/boss. Her 18th birthday gets interesting when she is fired after setting a club patron on fire during a bar brawl. The mysterious gentleman who helped break things up later breaks into her apartment and asks her to sign a contract giving her soul to a fire goddess upon death or die now and her soul goes immediately to the goddess. Suddenly the "ask for a trial" makes sense, if she passes she gets to work off her debt to the goddess and keep her soul. This "work" is collecting other souls for the goddess under the mentorship of Kestor. Ursula finds out it isn't as easy as he makes it look, especially when there are other "monsters" out there working against her.
This was an alright first book in the series. I was entertained and might even continue the series.
This was an alright first book in the series. I was entertained and might even continue the series.
October 19, 2024
No ha estado mal. Es un poco chorra pero me he enganchado que es lo más importante.
April 29, 2021
3.5 Stars
September 18, 2016
Intriguing start for the series
When we begin, Ursula is living in poverty, no accomplishments in life, well, at least that she remembers. Unfortunately, the person she was prior to her memory loss has signed her soul over to a demon. She wins the chance to reclaim her soul, but finds herself not only far out of her depth and with a new job requiring her to claim the souls signed over by other hapless humans.
I love when authors put in the major moral quandaries, and throughout Ursula struggles with her new reality. Saving her own soul requires her to collect souls, either with a signature or by killing them. After all, they already agreed to the terms, so is it really so bad? I also loved how Ursula discovers more and more peculiarities about herself. She's clearly not your typical human, but what is she? The authors also do an amazing job at bringing out sexual tension with little to no explicit content, leaving me wondering where it will lead in future books.
This book hit all of my checklist requirements for a good book: well written, interesting characters, good character development, interesting and well developed world, a good plotline, and that overall ability to draw you into the story. It left me wanting more and to see where the authors will take Ursula next with the intriguing twist at the end. Definitely a good read and I'll certainly be following Ursula on her future adventures.
When we begin, Ursula is living in poverty, no accomplishments in life, well, at least that she remembers. Unfortunately, the person she was prior to her memory loss has signed her soul over to a demon. She wins the chance to reclaim her soul, but finds herself not only far out of her depth and with a new job requiring her to claim the souls signed over by other hapless humans.
I love when authors put in the major moral quandaries, and throughout Ursula struggles with her new reality. Saving her own soul requires her to collect souls, either with a signature or by killing them. After all, they already agreed to the terms, so is it really so bad? I also loved how Ursula discovers more and more peculiarities about herself. She's clearly not your typical human, but what is she? The authors also do an amazing job at bringing out sexual tension with little to no explicit content, leaving me wondering where it will lead in future books.
This book hit all of my checklist requirements for a good book: well written, interesting characters, good character development, interesting and well developed world, a good plotline, and that overall ability to draw you into the story. It left me wanting more and to see where the authors will take Ursula next with the intriguing twist at the end. Definitely a good read and I'll certainly be following Ursula on her future adventures.
February 6, 2019
'This isn’t going to work. I can’t make small talk about boy bands when I’m about to be murdered.'
I love Crawford's writing so it's not a surprise that I absolutely loved this book!
Straight going into action with the story evolving better and better. Maybe there wasn't so much romance or a perfect story line but.... It's only a book no. 1. An introduction to a series and not a standalone. An appetizer. It's only gonna get better- trust me I am already on the book no. 3.
Give this a chance and you won't regret it!
'Her eyes lingered on his perfect lips, and for just a moment, she considered kissing him—before she reminded herself that a) he was an entitled wanker most of the time, b) Zee’s unconscious body lay just a few feet away, and c) his nickname was “the Headsman.” Probably not a good idea to kiss someone named for an executioner.'
I love Crawford's writing so it's not a surprise that I absolutely loved this book!
Straight going into action with the story evolving better and better. Maybe there wasn't so much romance or a perfect story line but.... It's only a book no. 1. An introduction to a series and not a standalone. An appetizer. It's only gonna get better- trust me I am already on the book no. 3.
Give this a chance and you won't regret it!
'Her eyes lingered on his perfect lips, and for just a moment, she considered kissing him—before she reminded herself that a) he was an entitled wanker most of the time, b) Zee’s unconscious body lay just a few feet away, and c) his nickname was “the Headsman.” Probably not a good idea to kiss someone named for an executioner.'
April 2, 2017
Infernal Magic is the first story in Christine and Nick's Demons of Fire and Night Series (i.e. C.N. Crawford). Its one of three individual series by the very well suited combined writing style at the time of this review - April 2nd 2017 (see also: The Memento Mori Trilogy; & The Vampire's Mage Series). Both the vampire and the demon series operate within the same universe, but they each focus around different aspects, the series names offering a clue as to which aspect. Locating crossover could be an interesting exercise akin to 'spot the difference' picture games, only in reverse of course; and having no suitability to kids games. I think I located one in Infernal Magic, but I won't spoil your fun in doing so should you choose to rise to the challenge. I will undoubtedly be reading their witch trilogy in future given my significant appreciation of the five (including this one) books that I've enjoyed so far. If you want to read my reviews on the current The Vampire's Mage Series releases the following links are for: Magic Hunter #1, Shadow Mage #1.5, Witch Hunter #2 and Blood Hunter #3:
https://www.amazon.com/review/R1IYNO8...
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
https://www.amazon.com/review/R34NVGZ... https://www.amazon.com/review/R1BH9OF...)
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The kicker that finds a footing right between your legs is the clause in contracts between demon gods and wayward souls that makes them binding, whether you remember making them or not. They remain perfectly valid no matter the situation: ask Ursula she knows all about it. Turning eighteen was never meant be so torturous. Its right up there with retrograde amnesia for all your conscious memories that came before your last three years of life. If that's not enough to put a dampener on the eighteenth birthday party that no one remembered to actually celebrate with you, then being smack bang in the middle of the war between two demon gods - those of fire versus those of night - ought to put the icing on the cake that was also forgotten. From that perspective Ursula imagines it to be similar to going to a dentist who forgets to administer anaesthetic before they start drilling or pulling on your ivory. Whoever thought up being drawn and quartered really should've been introduced to it before they so readily considered its application.
It's hard to say what's worse: working with some sort of fever on your eighteenth birthday at the bar run and owned by your ex- just to make the rent that's due in two days; or that to avoid getting sacked by said ex- you're pushing your fevered body through the crowd packed in like sardines, just so you can break up a fight between two meatheads over a scuffed shoe. A scuffed shoe, really? Surely she's not the only one to see the lunacy of that, or that it doesn't take only her feverish mind to perceive it the same way. The heat of pushing through shoulder to shoulder crowding so as to get through to break up the fight, the strain thickened by voyeuristic spectators looking for a cheap thrill, definitely wasn't helping her mounting inferno. The sweat that now dripped freely from her brow had to indicate that others were feeling it too, that she wasn't the only person succumbing to the sweltering temperature. At about the same time she got close enough to maybe make a difference, sufficiently more slurred digs had been slung to finally reveal what all bar brawls came down to in the end: a fight about some girl.
The spilling of beer all over the white top covering her lacy pink bra by the closest lunging brawler, burned away at her mounting anger to take it to the highest it'd been since the onset of some sort of fever she couldn't remember having ever felt before. Not that memories had proven infallible, a dreaded event now three years past reminded her daily of just how vulnerable they could be. Ursula's thoughts promptly narrowed down to the inferno of white hotness within her body about the same time screaming and flames started. With impossible grey smoke coming off her hands, her attention was initially distracted from the flaming shirt of the brawler now dropped and rolling to extinguish his ruined shirt. She'd only been trying to restrain him from a prison sentence for assault with a weapon. The busted bear bottle he'd been lunging with was now promptly forgotten, but that didn't mean he hadn't been trying to open some inebriated mate's jugular.
In the haze of confusion that revolved around the impossibility dawning in her addled brain, that her acknowledgement of her internal inferno had been immediately followed by the flames that had turned to streams of grey smoke rolling around and from her hands, Ursula's attention turned to a patron she couldn't believe she'd missed before. He waltzed through the crowd without a single rub of any shoulder. It was now only his intervention that halted burning shirt guy's call to the cops. With just a look from dazzling green eyes and a single sentence instructing the handing over the caller's phone and his departure along with the friend forgotten once the burning started, the patron swept in and took hitherto unseen control. Whatever his real job is he could certainly moonlight as a bouncer. Even the voyeuristic revelers seemed to be going back to whatever it was that they were doing before the fight broke out.
She felt but couldn't even begin to explain his look of recognition in his startling eyes, nor that she felt an inkling of her own. It hadn't just been her who'd ended up in slack-jawed amazement over what had just happened. Every other bystander had seemed to be doing the same before they turned away. But with the closing of his eyes it was like a spell had been broken, including the one over the crowd. At her use of the word spell, she had a mounting chill in her spine over recalling recent rumours around London that witches had been seen in some park where members of the general public were killed. She hadn't believed it then and nor could she now. Still, there was an otherworldly impression that settled in with her other observations. Unfortunately, the observation that gave the greatest chill upon her arrival back at the bar she'd been tending, wasn't in the end about any strangely appealing patron or broken spells. Nope, it was her ex- standing ready at the end of the bar saying they needed to talk about what happened. The last time he said they needed to talk he'd dumped her and told her she had no chance of making anything of herself, it still rankled perhaps even more now than when it was said.
If Ursula thought the early part of the day of her birthday was bad, she should've held her judgement off until the last parts began to take effect. Perhaps then she could've at least gotten some minute trace of enjoyment from it. Moping through her single room basement flat where her friend had dibs on the bedroom because of her larger contribution to the rent, only the last scrape of butter and some bread could be found in mockery of a dinner meal. It looked like her meal was going out in sympathy with the sad state of the rest of her day, and life. There was the freaky smoking hands thing and feral but still hot patron guy, which was wrapped up in a you're fired birthday cake that was absent the actual cake. Then there's the candles lighting her way because the electricity card has run out, plus the solo celebration on the day that was supposed to herald great changes. Although it had in a sense, but only in the same direction as much of the rest of her life has been - a downward spiral of bad to worse.
Before she got through her helping of bread and butter, though, the green eyed patron is noticed as standing in the frame of her unlocked doorway. Without so much as an explanation of the how, which could have only included the worrying signs of a stalker routine, he begins sprouting off about blood pens and signed contracts with satan. He insists it isn't satan but is some demon woman claiming to be a goddess of fire by the name of Emerazel, which might as well be the same thing. If walks and quacks and all that jazz. Her refusal of acceptance, citing arguments about her amnesia, rather promptly escalates to a fight with a guy who says he now has to reap her soul. Two words that should never be in the same sentence if you're wanting someone to comply are reaping and soul, surely he knows that right. Maybe all the signed soul contract fairies didn't teach at his school. His travelling salesman routine, no matter how hot he might've looked before he opened his mouth, must surely see him at the bottom of monthly sales targets.
The smashing of his arm, with the hefty skillet that'd been aimed at his skull, into two very distinctly separate pieces barely registers more than a growl. When she says growl she quite literally means that, a growl. Not that she's ever seen or heard any hounds that could growl in such a meaningful way. That's followed by a whispered language that rings with only the barest of recognition from Ursula-before-amnesia, but rather more bewilderingly it prompts the reformation of his arm bones. Like she needed anymore signs that her fight with this guy was a hopeless situation she never had the potential of winning, now she has to get more bloody pointers about this magic thingy. If she was still alive in the next ten minutes or so she should probably look more into the rumours circulating.
All the while he still manages to smile and find ways to bring into it that he'd prefer to have used her body for a much more pleasurable celebration of her age of majority. Its hard to comprehend which part is less able to be accepted, that he body might be used in said fashion, or that anyone alive still actually says age of majority. It's only on the precipice of his claws and fangs embedding in her throat that her still overwhelmed brain remembers the only thing she'd had in her possession when a fireman had pulled her from a burning church three years ago: a note penned in her handwriting, yes she'd tested it, which said that on her eighteenth birthday she'd need to say she opts for a trial.
Like so many other memories that came before that exact moment of awaking covered in ash and surrounded by fire, the creation of the note didn't exist either. Nor the reasons for it, which probably would've been much more helpful than the ambiguous piece of crud she'd written. Only its evidence had remained in a pocket, but because it'd been so obscure she had nearly forgotten it was meant for use today. The doctors that had come after the firemen and the physicians that had treated her minor wounds, had been the head shrink sort who'd explained that some differently structured memories still remain when people get amnesia. In her case they are procedural memories that gave her muscles and some instincts the knowledge of how to perform certain habituated tasks and gut reactions that preceded her amnesia. She could wield a sword with the clarity and skill of an expert who'd trained in the art form their whole life; she just didn't know why she had them. Those reactions had been all that had gotten her even this far. Of course she had no idea what requesting a trial meant, and her former self had embellished the bit about blacking out; along with every-bloody-thing else.
It wasn't the first and nor would it be the last time that it occurred to her that the girl who came before was obviously a bitch. At this stage she felt as though the things her instinctual reactions and procedural memories told her she was capable of were the only things from her past that would mean survival, however slim that likelihood is. The little voice in the back of her head had its own instructions, but she had already come to realise that she mighten be able to trust it. It does after all appear to come from the person who'd led to the destruction of her previous life. Not to mention what she was still sowing in her current life. In many ways, as long as her previous memories remained locked away, she's been forced into becoming two distinctly different people. So, fan-effing-tastic birthday and all round crappy wrap-up of a shitty three years of life. Who in their right mind would ever come to wish they could just go back to their poverty, unemployment and soon to be homeless life?
With only her recent sense of reality intact, what's real and what's not, the three years old Ursula's world comes crashing down on her eighteenth birthday. A macabre follow-up to what the first fifteen years of her life might've been like, if only she knew; or worse still, because she'd brought it all upon herself. Her current life threatening situation appears to have been caused by the first fifteen years version of Ursula. When the supernatural that's been provoking very recent rumours about its existence causes an influx of people looking to devour her soul, it becomes the natural instead. Even with a strange scarification symbol cut into the skin on her shoulder, the weird note a forgotten self had written to her future self (i.e. by Former Ursula or F.U.), and recent public witness and expose of events that couldn't be rationally explained by any scientific processes, she'd refused to believe in the existence of magic. Now she's not only forced to accept its premise, she's forced to accept that F.U. was not only aware, she was also in the thick of it.
It took considerable events to prove to Ursula that magic and the supernatural exist in this stimulating urban fantasy environment. Her attitudes and character development does exceptionally well in showing how the splitting of memories in amnesia sufferers essentially functions in ways that create a psychic splitting of the self. Because not all of the specific types of memories that exist can be neatly separated from contextual stimulants, people are capable of reacting to events in ways they have no specific recollection of why they do so. Even though she's wanted to reinvent herself in ways that have no relation to what's been forgotten, she can't for more than just one reason. Some reactions are physiological instincts and evolutionary hand-me-downs that seek to keep us alive and ensure correct functioning.
But others are habituated ways that no longer require any conscious effort in their expenditure; it's some of these forms that haunt her desire to recreate herself - forsaking the shit-storm that'd been scheduled to be called down upon her. Proof of the existence of behaviours without actual memory precipitation can be seen quite strongly in looking at both the ways babies complete certain tasks from the day they're born; and the way stroke victims can suffer brain damage in certain regions of the brain that control certain behaviours and yet victims can still carry out previous behaviours, or learn to do things even though that part of the brain is damaged. Memories conscious or not are extremely complex but integral in the development and maintenance of personality. Again using stroke victims, testimonials show countless examples of instantaneous changes in personality which can range from holistic to the most minimal. How we define ourselves is much more complicated than just the things we remember learning, seeing and doing, just as Ursula experiences her amnesia.
The brain is an endless maze of connections made, lost, changed, born, learned, and forgotten, and all without a perceptible start or finish. Just as humans think we've discovered one of its secrets, something else comes along that suggests we don't yet know half as much as we think we do and will never know half as much as we want to (a sage advice by a certain fictional professor who may or may not be associated with mutants wearing jumpsuits with enormous X's patterned into them). In Ursula's case the situation that gives rise to her differing understanding of herself has brought about a cognitive differentiation of the person she was, from the one who she is now, and from the one who she wants to be. All because for her former self she hasn't the actual memories that go with understanding why she was that person to begin with.
Frustratingly that person appears to have created the hardships she must face, and also influenced who she now is whether she wants to neatly segregate herself or not. But even that is too simplistic a notion because as long as she never remembers the things that led F.U. to making the choices she made, then she'll never know if they were correct or if more simply you they were fair. On the role of impartiality there's an inarguable cautionary dimension that to judge without context is to not have lived what led to it: a defining weakness in the commentary by the general public regarding the sentencing of lawbreakers, which is exactly why Ursula may be being too hard on F.U.
Getting back to her multiple selves in a different situation, one where the diagnosis of amnesia didn't precede the developmental splitting, she'd become more sanctioned and tainted by others because doctors would consider her to have had psychotic splits and multiple personality disorders, and the various other likes that society tends to frown upon. Not to minimise however the reality of her situation as it exists now, but merely as another cautionary tale that comes from this wonderfully complex character's life. This story has a considerable benefit of making you think about real world ramifications whilst being able to appreciate her pretty well adjusted acceptance, so it isn't all the doom and gloom that might turn some readers away. The poetic artistry inherent in some fiction stories is when they can entertain and provoke the imagination, all the while highlighting sensitive and provocative real world instances. Its the analogous aspects that can make some fiction all the more important than concerted study and debate.
Other technical features of the novel that come through loud and clear are the cultural markers of Ursula's spoken word, and some of the ways she thinks and feels. Regardless of the story stating her past three years as a Londoner, Ursula gives the impression of being raised as an English girl; even to my own sheltered Aussie ears. She's not so much fighting a fate or a destiny, common threads of many books, as she is fighting what she continues to learn as the person she is and who she was. That even in the face of amnesia its hard to leave behind who you are in order to become who you want to be. After three years of trying to become what she might want to be, who she was is coming back to bite her in the bum. Even then its unclear because the whole picture is still absent, with only presumptions being the fabric upon which to make judgements.
On top of that quagmire, Julia's circumstances in this time were also restricted themselves because of the social positioning of kids within some foster care environments and in poverty driven independence. These forces have amalgamated in the tieing of her hands behind her back. Whilst not a focus of the book the subtle clues of this impression are well recognised despite not being what the core storyline is about. From a technical standpoint its often the sublety that can work better outcomes because it prompts people into filling in the blanks themselves, which of course requires a certain level of thought, making it all the more effective than it might only be to having it spelled out for you. Its in some ways reminiscent of giving the hungry beggar a line and pole and teaching them how to fish rather than bringing them only your catch
https://www.amazon.com/review/R1IYNO8...
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
https://www.amazon.com/review/R34NVGZ... https://www.amazon.com/review/R1BH9OF...)
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The kicker that finds a footing right between your legs is the clause in contracts between demon gods and wayward souls that makes them binding, whether you remember making them or not. They remain perfectly valid no matter the situation: ask Ursula she knows all about it. Turning eighteen was never meant be so torturous. Its right up there with retrograde amnesia for all your conscious memories that came before your last three years of life. If that's not enough to put a dampener on the eighteenth birthday party that no one remembered to actually celebrate with you, then being smack bang in the middle of the war between two demon gods - those of fire versus those of night - ought to put the icing on the cake that was also forgotten. From that perspective Ursula imagines it to be similar to going to a dentist who forgets to administer anaesthetic before they start drilling or pulling on your ivory. Whoever thought up being drawn and quartered really should've been introduced to it before they so readily considered its application.
It's hard to say what's worse: working with some sort of fever on your eighteenth birthday at the bar run and owned by your ex- just to make the rent that's due in two days; or that to avoid getting sacked by said ex- you're pushing your fevered body through the crowd packed in like sardines, just so you can break up a fight between two meatheads over a scuffed shoe. A scuffed shoe, really? Surely she's not the only one to see the lunacy of that, or that it doesn't take only her feverish mind to perceive it the same way. The heat of pushing through shoulder to shoulder crowding so as to get through to break up the fight, the strain thickened by voyeuristic spectators looking for a cheap thrill, definitely wasn't helping her mounting inferno. The sweat that now dripped freely from her brow had to indicate that others were feeling it too, that she wasn't the only person succumbing to the sweltering temperature. At about the same time she got close enough to maybe make a difference, sufficiently more slurred digs had been slung to finally reveal what all bar brawls came down to in the end: a fight about some girl.
The spilling of beer all over the white top covering her lacy pink bra by the closest lunging brawler, burned away at her mounting anger to take it to the highest it'd been since the onset of some sort of fever she couldn't remember having ever felt before. Not that memories had proven infallible, a dreaded event now three years past reminded her daily of just how vulnerable they could be. Ursula's thoughts promptly narrowed down to the inferno of white hotness within her body about the same time screaming and flames started. With impossible grey smoke coming off her hands, her attention was initially distracted from the flaming shirt of the brawler now dropped and rolling to extinguish his ruined shirt. She'd only been trying to restrain him from a prison sentence for assault with a weapon. The busted bear bottle he'd been lunging with was now promptly forgotten, but that didn't mean he hadn't been trying to open some inebriated mate's jugular.
In the haze of confusion that revolved around the impossibility dawning in her addled brain, that her acknowledgement of her internal inferno had been immediately followed by the flames that had turned to streams of grey smoke rolling around and from her hands, Ursula's attention turned to a patron she couldn't believe she'd missed before. He waltzed through the crowd without a single rub of any shoulder. It was now only his intervention that halted burning shirt guy's call to the cops. With just a look from dazzling green eyes and a single sentence instructing the handing over the caller's phone and his departure along with the friend forgotten once the burning started, the patron swept in and took hitherto unseen control. Whatever his real job is he could certainly moonlight as a bouncer. Even the voyeuristic revelers seemed to be going back to whatever it was that they were doing before the fight broke out.
She felt but couldn't even begin to explain his look of recognition in his startling eyes, nor that she felt an inkling of her own. It hadn't just been her who'd ended up in slack-jawed amazement over what had just happened. Every other bystander had seemed to be doing the same before they turned away. But with the closing of his eyes it was like a spell had been broken, including the one over the crowd. At her use of the word spell, she had a mounting chill in her spine over recalling recent rumours around London that witches had been seen in some park where members of the general public were killed. She hadn't believed it then and nor could she now. Still, there was an otherworldly impression that settled in with her other observations. Unfortunately, the observation that gave the greatest chill upon her arrival back at the bar she'd been tending, wasn't in the end about any strangely appealing patron or broken spells. Nope, it was her ex- standing ready at the end of the bar saying they needed to talk about what happened. The last time he said they needed to talk he'd dumped her and told her she had no chance of making anything of herself, it still rankled perhaps even more now than when it was said.
If Ursula thought the early part of the day of her birthday was bad, she should've held her judgement off until the last parts began to take effect. Perhaps then she could've at least gotten some minute trace of enjoyment from it. Moping through her single room basement flat where her friend had dibs on the bedroom because of her larger contribution to the rent, only the last scrape of butter and some bread could be found in mockery of a dinner meal. It looked like her meal was going out in sympathy with the sad state of the rest of her day, and life. There was the freaky smoking hands thing and feral but still hot patron guy, which was wrapped up in a you're fired birthday cake that was absent the actual cake. Then there's the candles lighting her way because the electricity card has run out, plus the solo celebration on the day that was supposed to herald great changes. Although it had in a sense, but only in the same direction as much of the rest of her life has been - a downward spiral of bad to worse.
Before she got through her helping of bread and butter, though, the green eyed patron is noticed as standing in the frame of her unlocked doorway. Without so much as an explanation of the how, which could have only included the worrying signs of a stalker routine, he begins sprouting off about blood pens and signed contracts with satan. He insists it isn't satan but is some demon woman claiming to be a goddess of fire by the name of Emerazel, which might as well be the same thing. If walks and quacks and all that jazz. Her refusal of acceptance, citing arguments about her amnesia, rather promptly escalates to a fight with a guy who says he now has to reap her soul. Two words that should never be in the same sentence if you're wanting someone to comply are reaping and soul, surely he knows that right. Maybe all the signed soul contract fairies didn't teach at his school. His travelling salesman routine, no matter how hot he might've looked before he opened his mouth, must surely see him at the bottom of monthly sales targets.
The smashing of his arm, with the hefty skillet that'd been aimed at his skull, into two very distinctly separate pieces barely registers more than a growl. When she says growl she quite literally means that, a growl. Not that she's ever seen or heard any hounds that could growl in such a meaningful way. That's followed by a whispered language that rings with only the barest of recognition from Ursula-before-amnesia, but rather more bewilderingly it prompts the reformation of his arm bones. Like she needed anymore signs that her fight with this guy was a hopeless situation she never had the potential of winning, now she has to get more bloody pointers about this magic thingy. If she was still alive in the next ten minutes or so she should probably look more into the rumours circulating.
All the while he still manages to smile and find ways to bring into it that he'd prefer to have used her body for a much more pleasurable celebration of her age of majority. Its hard to comprehend which part is less able to be accepted, that he body might be used in said fashion, or that anyone alive still actually says age of majority. It's only on the precipice of his claws and fangs embedding in her throat that her still overwhelmed brain remembers the only thing she'd had in her possession when a fireman had pulled her from a burning church three years ago: a note penned in her handwriting, yes she'd tested it, which said that on her eighteenth birthday she'd need to say she opts for a trial.
Like so many other memories that came before that exact moment of awaking covered in ash and surrounded by fire, the creation of the note didn't exist either. Nor the reasons for it, which probably would've been much more helpful than the ambiguous piece of crud she'd written. Only its evidence had remained in a pocket, but because it'd been so obscure she had nearly forgotten it was meant for use today. The doctors that had come after the firemen and the physicians that had treated her minor wounds, had been the head shrink sort who'd explained that some differently structured memories still remain when people get amnesia. In her case they are procedural memories that gave her muscles and some instincts the knowledge of how to perform certain habituated tasks and gut reactions that preceded her amnesia. She could wield a sword with the clarity and skill of an expert who'd trained in the art form their whole life; she just didn't know why she had them. Those reactions had been all that had gotten her even this far. Of course she had no idea what requesting a trial meant, and her former self had embellished the bit about blacking out; along with every-bloody-thing else.
It wasn't the first and nor would it be the last time that it occurred to her that the girl who came before was obviously a bitch. At this stage she felt as though the things her instinctual reactions and procedural memories told her she was capable of were the only things from her past that would mean survival, however slim that likelihood is. The little voice in the back of her head had its own instructions, but she had already come to realise that she mighten be able to trust it. It does after all appear to come from the person who'd led to the destruction of her previous life. Not to mention what she was still sowing in her current life. In many ways, as long as her previous memories remained locked away, she's been forced into becoming two distinctly different people. So, fan-effing-tastic birthday and all round crappy wrap-up of a shitty three years of life. Who in their right mind would ever come to wish they could just go back to their poverty, unemployment and soon to be homeless life?
With only her recent sense of reality intact, what's real and what's not, the three years old Ursula's world comes crashing down on her eighteenth birthday. A macabre follow-up to what the first fifteen years of her life might've been like, if only she knew; or worse still, because she'd brought it all upon herself. Her current life threatening situation appears to have been caused by the first fifteen years version of Ursula. When the supernatural that's been provoking very recent rumours about its existence causes an influx of people looking to devour her soul, it becomes the natural instead. Even with a strange scarification symbol cut into the skin on her shoulder, the weird note a forgotten self had written to her future self (i.e. by Former Ursula or F.U.), and recent public witness and expose of events that couldn't be rationally explained by any scientific processes, she'd refused to believe in the existence of magic. Now she's not only forced to accept its premise, she's forced to accept that F.U. was not only aware, she was also in the thick of it.
It took considerable events to prove to Ursula that magic and the supernatural exist in this stimulating urban fantasy environment. Her attitudes and character development does exceptionally well in showing how the splitting of memories in amnesia sufferers essentially functions in ways that create a psychic splitting of the self. Because not all of the specific types of memories that exist can be neatly separated from contextual stimulants, people are capable of reacting to events in ways they have no specific recollection of why they do so. Even though she's wanted to reinvent herself in ways that have no relation to what's been forgotten, she can't for more than just one reason. Some reactions are physiological instincts and evolutionary hand-me-downs that seek to keep us alive and ensure correct functioning.
But others are habituated ways that no longer require any conscious effort in their expenditure; it's some of these forms that haunt her desire to recreate herself - forsaking the shit-storm that'd been scheduled to be called down upon her. Proof of the existence of behaviours without actual memory precipitation can be seen quite strongly in looking at both the ways babies complete certain tasks from the day they're born; and the way stroke victims can suffer brain damage in certain regions of the brain that control certain behaviours and yet victims can still carry out previous behaviours, or learn to do things even though that part of the brain is damaged. Memories conscious or not are extremely complex but integral in the development and maintenance of personality. Again using stroke victims, testimonials show countless examples of instantaneous changes in personality which can range from holistic to the most minimal. How we define ourselves is much more complicated than just the things we remember learning, seeing and doing, just as Ursula experiences her amnesia.
The brain is an endless maze of connections made, lost, changed, born, learned, and forgotten, and all without a perceptible start or finish. Just as humans think we've discovered one of its secrets, something else comes along that suggests we don't yet know half as much as we think we do and will never know half as much as we want to (a sage advice by a certain fictional professor who may or may not be associated with mutants wearing jumpsuits with enormous X's patterned into them). In Ursula's case the situation that gives rise to her differing understanding of herself has brought about a cognitive differentiation of the person she was, from the one who she is now, and from the one who she wants to be. All because for her former self she hasn't the actual memories that go with understanding why she was that person to begin with.
Frustratingly that person appears to have created the hardships she must face, and also influenced who she now is whether she wants to neatly segregate herself or not. But even that is too simplistic a notion because as long as she never remembers the things that led F.U. to making the choices she made, then she'll never know if they were correct or if more simply you they were fair. On the role of impartiality there's an inarguable cautionary dimension that to judge without context is to not have lived what led to it: a defining weakness in the commentary by the general public regarding the sentencing of lawbreakers, which is exactly why Ursula may be being too hard on F.U.
Getting back to her multiple selves in a different situation, one where the diagnosis of amnesia didn't precede the developmental splitting, she'd become more sanctioned and tainted by others because doctors would consider her to have had psychotic splits and multiple personality disorders, and the various other likes that society tends to frown upon. Not to minimise however the reality of her situation as it exists now, but merely as another cautionary tale that comes from this wonderfully complex character's life. This story has a considerable benefit of making you think about real world ramifications whilst being able to appreciate her pretty well adjusted acceptance, so it isn't all the doom and gloom that might turn some readers away. The poetic artistry inherent in some fiction stories is when they can entertain and provoke the imagination, all the while highlighting sensitive and provocative real world instances. Its the analogous aspects that can make some fiction all the more important than concerted study and debate.
Other technical features of the novel that come through loud and clear are the cultural markers of Ursula's spoken word, and some of the ways she thinks and feels. Regardless of the story stating her past three years as a Londoner, Ursula gives the impression of being raised as an English girl; even to my own sheltered Aussie ears. She's not so much fighting a fate or a destiny, common threads of many books, as she is fighting what she continues to learn as the person she is and who she was. That even in the face of amnesia its hard to leave behind who you are in order to become who you want to be. After three years of trying to become what she might want to be, who she was is coming back to bite her in the bum. Even then its unclear because the whole picture is still absent, with only presumptions being the fabric upon which to make judgements.
On top of that quagmire, Julia's circumstances in this time were also restricted themselves because of the social positioning of kids within some foster care environments and in poverty driven independence. These forces have amalgamated in the tieing of her hands behind her back. Whilst not a focus of the book the subtle clues of this impression are well recognised despite not being what the core storyline is about. From a technical standpoint its often the sublety that can work better outcomes because it prompts people into filling in the blanks themselves, which of course requires a certain level of thought, making it all the more effective than it might only be to having it spelled out for you. Its in some ways reminiscent of giving the hungry beggar a line and pole and teaching them how to fish rather than bringing them only your catch
May 3, 2018
This was really good! This plot was fun and didn't feel like something that I've read a million times before. Ursula was a fun MC, I loved how she took everything crazy that happened in stride. Kester and Zee were great side characters too, I liked how they all worked together. And Bael! Love him. The next book is going to be really good, so much can happen!
December 30, 2020
Popular opinion is that this was extremely boring and Bael is the only reason it's not a one star. Agreed! I was bored outta my mind and really wanted to drop it but since I desperately wanted to avoid RL, I guess the book lucked out. That being said, not even Bael can make me continue this, we're over.
April 22, 2020
Lost memories
Amnesia has ridden Ursula since she was found at 15 in a burned out church. Now, on her 18th birthday, a contract has come due. For her soul.
Amnesia has ridden Ursula since she was found at 15 in a burned out church. Now, on her 18th birthday, a contract has come due. For her soul.
July 16, 2022
the FMC whatever her name is, is annoying AF
huge dnf
huge dnf
December 4, 2017
*****Kind of a Spoiler*****
Slow but interesting beginning. So weird for me to be 50% in to a book and there is not even a hint of romance lol. I miss it. Age difference is new for me...I mostly read books where the main characters are in mid-20's and early 30's....shes 18...and she talks like it too. I realized the last "young-adult" book I read was the Divergent series. But the series is so captivating you didn't notice it, you do here. I feel like we as readers are supposed to feel sorry for her in the beginning but really all I was thinking was, seriously, suck it up girlfriend. This is your life now!
Then 3/4 in you finally get an "epic battle" and in the middle she stops and decides to contemplate life and listen to the music. Then mid battle she poofs out, go home, takes a shower, and passes out. Then spends however long freaking out about the blood that's everywhere so she has to clean it up before she can get back to the matter at hand. I don't understand that at all. Not once were we given the impression that she's OCD or anything so wth...
The guy Bael, who is supposed to maybe be the love interest in really introduced 85% into the book. And I feel his character is very weakly developed. Ugh just disappointment.
The ending was also a disappointment. It almost got interesting again with the Gods bargaining her soul and then Kester returning. But no, nothing happened really. And no mention as to what she might be or any hint of her past. Not even a cliffhanger to get you to want to read more. I am done with this series. It has a good outline but fails to follow through.
Slow but interesting beginning. So weird for me to be 50% in to a book and there is not even a hint of romance lol. I miss it. Age difference is new for me...I mostly read books where the main characters are in mid-20's and early 30's....shes 18...and she talks like it too. I realized the last "young-adult" book I read was the Divergent series. But the series is so captivating you didn't notice it, you do here. I feel like we as readers are supposed to feel sorry for her in the beginning but really all I was thinking was, seriously, suck it up girlfriend. This is your life now!
Then 3/4 in you finally get an "epic battle" and in the middle she stops and decides to contemplate life and listen to the music. Then mid battle she poofs out, go home, takes a shower, and passes out. Then spends however long freaking out about the blood that's everywhere so she has to clean it up before she can get back to the matter at hand. I don't understand that at all. Not once were we given the impression that she's OCD or anything so wth...
The guy Bael, who is supposed to maybe be the love interest in really introduced 85% into the book. And I feel his character is very weakly developed. Ugh just disappointment.
The ending was also a disappointment. It almost got interesting again with the Gods bargaining her soul and then Kester returning. But no, nothing happened really. And no mention as to what she might be or any hint of her past. Not even a cliffhanger to get you to want to read more. I am done with this series. It has a good outline but fails to follow through.
August 4, 2021
Only a few pages in and already cringing.
She's 17 and serving alcohol in a club? Really? A club that her ex-boyfriend, who is also a college student, owns... really?!
And while in said club she proceeds to intervene in an altercation with two large men.... Really?!
Then serves another guy expensive liquor.
I'm supposed to believe a nightclub that carries $200-300 a bottle scotch, has a 17 year old female bartender who also serves as a bouncer (a few pages later we find out she's not supposed to be a bouncer, but c'mon... The premise is so outlandish).
She's 17 and serving alcohol in a club? Really? A club that her ex-boyfriend, who is also a college student, owns... really?!
And while in said club she proceeds to intervene in an altercation with two large men.... Really?!
Then serves another guy expensive liquor.
I'm supposed to believe a nightclub that carries $200-300 a bottle scotch, has a 17 year old female bartender who also serves as a bouncer (a few pages later we find out she's not supposed to be a bouncer, but c'mon... The premise is so outlandish).
November 3, 2016
LOVED IT! Okay, fine, it may not be your amazing shakespeare play that all teachers are crazy about but it's the amazing action/adventure novel I thought it would be. I read it in 2.5h (taking a break at 1.5) which goes to show how good it was! I recommend it to anyone who wants a LOT of action, bad words, and hot dudes... *cough* Kester *cough*. But honestly WHAT KIND OF A NAME IS URSULA??????????????????
March 22, 2020
Hellhounds, Demons and Magic
Infernal Magic is book one in C.N. Crawford’s Shadows and Flame series. These authors are new to me, I did a little research for where to start as they have released many books and found that starting with this series was best as there is a little cross over with their other books.
She's forgotten her past. Too bad her past won't return the favor.
Ursula can't remember a single thing from before three years ago, so she has to keep her life simple. All she wants is to earn enough money for rent--and maybe a bit left over for a new pair of boots.
But on her eighteenth birthday, all hell breaks loose... quite literally... when a hellhound shifter shows up in her kitchen. Kester's lethally gorgeous, and he's come with a terrifying message: Ursula owes her soul to a demon.
No one seems to care that she doesn't remember striking that deal.
Thrust in the middle of a demonic war, Ursula fights her way across New York--and through the fae realm to survive. Along the way, she must reclaim her magical knowledge and her long-forgotten skills with the blade if she wants to escape eternal damnation.
Ursula has no memories from before she was 15. The earliest thing she can remember is being found in a burnt down church with a note with a date and "ask for a trial" written by her. She's barely scraping by working for her ex boyfriend. On her 18th birthday she gets fired after accidentally setting a club patron on fire during a bar brawl, that a mysterious gentleman helps her break up. Later back at her run down apartment after being fired the same mysterious man breaks in and asks her to sign a contract giving her soul to the fire Goddess Emerazel, upon death or die now and her soul goes immediately to the Goddess. Not wanting to take either option Ursula hits the mystery man with a grill breaking his arm, that magically heals, with no hope of escape the "ask for a trial" makes sense. If she passes she gets to work off her debt to the Goddess and keep her soul. But paying off the debt involves her becoming a Hellhound and having to collecting others souls for the Goddess under the mentorship of Kestor. Ursula but it isn't as easy as it looks, especially when there are other monsters worse than Hellhounds out there working against her.
This book is a little slow to start off, but if you are willing to stick it out it will slightly pick up around the 70% mark. The storyline and concept is very unique and interesting, it’s something that hasn’t been done before and I applaud the authors for writing it. I’m hoping with the next book that the pace and action picks up as well more insight to the characters Kester and Bael.
Infernal Magic is book one in C.N. Crawford’s Shadows and Flame series. These authors are new to me, I did a little research for where to start as they have released many books and found that starting with this series was best as there is a little cross over with their other books.
She's forgotten her past. Too bad her past won't return the favor.
Ursula can't remember a single thing from before three years ago, so she has to keep her life simple. All she wants is to earn enough money for rent--and maybe a bit left over for a new pair of boots.
But on her eighteenth birthday, all hell breaks loose... quite literally... when a hellhound shifter shows up in her kitchen. Kester's lethally gorgeous, and he's come with a terrifying message: Ursula owes her soul to a demon.
No one seems to care that she doesn't remember striking that deal.
Thrust in the middle of a demonic war, Ursula fights her way across New York--and through the fae realm to survive. Along the way, she must reclaim her magical knowledge and her long-forgotten skills with the blade if she wants to escape eternal damnation.
Ursula has no memories from before she was 15. The earliest thing she can remember is being found in a burnt down church with a note with a date and "ask for a trial" written by her. She's barely scraping by working for her ex boyfriend. On her 18th birthday she gets fired after accidentally setting a club patron on fire during a bar brawl, that a mysterious gentleman helps her break up. Later back at her run down apartment after being fired the same mysterious man breaks in and asks her to sign a contract giving her soul to the fire Goddess Emerazel, upon death or die now and her soul goes immediately to the Goddess. Not wanting to take either option Ursula hits the mystery man with a grill breaking his arm, that magically heals, with no hope of escape the "ask for a trial" makes sense. If she passes she gets to work off her debt to the Goddess and keep her soul. But paying off the debt involves her becoming a Hellhound and having to collecting others souls for the Goddess under the mentorship of Kestor. Ursula but it isn't as easy as it looks, especially when there are other monsters worse than Hellhounds out there working against her.
This book is a little slow to start off, but if you are willing to stick it out it will slightly pick up around the 70% mark. The storyline and concept is very unique and interesting, it’s something that hasn’t been done before and I applaud the authors for writing it. I’m hoping with the next book that the pace and action picks up as well more insight to the characters Kester and Bael.
April 4, 2018
Ursula's life is not great. She has no career, no money, a sucky job working for her condescending ex-boyfriend and to top it all off, no memories of her life from before 3 years ago. She has no idea who she is or even if she has any family. Her 18th birthday arrives and with it, so do some major changes to her life.
A shapeshifting hellhound appears in her kitchen demanding her soul, an agreement she made apparently before her memory loss. The only thing she can do before he takes her against her will is ask for a trial as written on a scrap piece of paper that she presumes her former self wrote. This trial awakens skills and powers she had no idea she had and soon Ursula is thrust into a world, completely nothing like her old one, but not necessarily for the better. She has to now become a hellhound herself, claiming the souls of those who have pledged them to Emerazel, a fire demon goddess. Not an easy task for Ursula and not one she wants to do, but she has no choice in the matter. It's either do the job or die!
On her very first job, things go incredibly wrong and trigger a series of dangerous events. Ursula has to rely on her own magic, which she has no control over yet, and the strengths and skills of her comrades and enemies to complete it.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book; it was a great start to this series and one I know I will love. Ursula was a great character. She started off as quite pitiful with no hopes for the future. Being thrown in at the deep end into a scary new world, she has to rely on her instincts and surprises herself (and me) with the things she can do but didn't know she could do. This new world is very much a solitary one - everyone is out for themselves and although people do rally together at times of need, Ursula has to depend only on herself to keep herself alive. I have a feeling she will develop into a very strong skilled female lead!
A shapeshifting hellhound appears in her kitchen demanding her soul, an agreement she made apparently before her memory loss. The only thing she can do before he takes her against her will is ask for a trial as written on a scrap piece of paper that she presumes her former self wrote. This trial awakens skills and powers she had no idea she had and soon Ursula is thrust into a world, completely nothing like her old one, but not necessarily for the better. She has to now become a hellhound herself, claiming the souls of those who have pledged them to Emerazel, a fire demon goddess. Not an easy task for Ursula and not one she wants to do, but she has no choice in the matter. It's either do the job or die!
On her very first job, things go incredibly wrong and trigger a series of dangerous events. Ursula has to rely on her own magic, which she has no control over yet, and the strengths and skills of her comrades and enemies to complete it.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book; it was a great start to this series and one I know I will love. Ursula was a great character. She started off as quite pitiful with no hopes for the future. Being thrown in at the deep end into a scary new world, she has to rely on her instincts and surprises herself (and me) with the things she can do but didn't know she could do. This new world is very much a solitary one - everyone is out for themselves and although people do rally together at times of need, Ursula has to depend only on herself to keep herself alive. I have a feeling she will develop into a very strong skilled female lead!
February 24, 2021
There was so much potential in this book and in Ursula's character but sadly it didn't hold my attention.
Pros :
>The big mysteries : Who is Ursula, why did she sell her soul , and how does she get all her "magical convenient " knowledge.These questions were really the only thing that pushed me to skim to the end .
> the magic and gods : interesting intertwining of light/dark gods and their conflict over claiming human souls. There was so much that could have been said about the God's and the hell hounds.
> Potential for a very strong female character but sadly her portrayal lacks depth and complexity.
Cons :
>Pacing and repetition : events occurred at a slowww pace, things that should have been elaborated that were relevant to the story ... weren't ( how did Ursula learn the language of the gods? We don't know because we keep being told that she "just remembers "). And irrelevant information take up too many pages, I don't really care to read 10 pages about what brand Ursula was wearing , the fancy car model or her shower routine.
> the weird / creepy attraction: Ursula meets a random, probably dangerous guy who shall not be named tied up with magical bindings and spends pages thinking about his smexy lips. 🙄.Then ( this one almost made me DNF) after almost dying, almost getting her soul stolen, almost having an acquaintance die, Ursula comments (paraphrasing here) that the most surprising thing of the day was learning that Mr. Hotdude (different hot dude though) likes to read. Lol. What.
Skimmed the last like 40 perfect after that.
Conclusion : not for me, too many plot holes and thing's came too easily for Ursula, ie: going from not practicing any magic to full on using it, going from never knew she could wield a sword to full on ninja without actual practice....I could go on.
Pros :
>The big mysteries : Who is Ursula, why did she sell her soul , and how does she get all her "magical convenient " knowledge.These questions were really the only thing that pushed me to skim to the end .
> the magic and gods : interesting intertwining of light/dark gods and their conflict over claiming human souls. There was so much that could have been said about the God's and the hell hounds.
> Potential for a very strong female character but sadly her portrayal lacks depth and complexity.
Cons :
>Pacing and repetition : events occurred at a slowww pace, things that should have been elaborated that were relevant to the story ... weren't ( how did Ursula learn the language of the gods? We don't know because we keep being told that she "just remembers "). And irrelevant information take up too many pages, I don't really care to read 10 pages about what brand Ursula was wearing , the fancy car model or her shower routine.
> the weird / creepy attraction: Ursula meets a random, probably dangerous guy who shall not be named tied up with magical bindings and spends pages thinking about his smexy lips. 🙄.Then ( this one almost made me DNF) after almost dying, almost getting her soul stolen, almost having an acquaintance die, Ursula comments (paraphrasing here) that the most surprising thing of the day was learning that Mr. Hotdude (different hot dude though) likes to read. Lol. What.
Skimmed the last like 40 perfect after that.
Conclusion : not for me, too many plot holes and thing's came too easily for Ursula, ie: going from not practicing any magic to full on using it, going from never knew she could wield a sword to full on ninja without actual practice....I could go on.
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