Civilianized: A Young Veteran's Memoir

by Michael Anthony

After twelve months of military service in Iraq, Michael Anthony stepped off a plane, seemingly happy to be home—or at least back on US soil. He was twenty-one years old, a bit of a nerd, and carrying a pack of cigarettes that he thought would be his last. Two weeks later, Michael was stoned on Vicodin, drinking way too much, and picking a fight with a very large Hell’s Angel. At his wit’s end, he came to an agreement with himself: If things didn’t improve in three months, he was going to kill himself. (But in the meantime, he had some dating classes to attend.) Civilianized is a surprising and dark-humored memoir that chronicles Michael's search for meaning in a suddenly destabilized world.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, War, Biography, Mental Health, Military Fiction, Autobiography

192 pages, Hardcover

Published December 27, 2016

About the author

Michael Anthony is the author of the graphic memoir Just Another Meat-Eating Dirtbag: A Memoir, and the award-winning and acclaimed memoirs: Civilianized: A Young Veteran’s Memoir, and Mass Casualties: A Young Medic’s True Story of Death, Deception, and Dishonor in Iraq.

Michael’s writing has been called “strong … and starkly honest…”-Publisher’s Weekly, “Dark Humored,” –Kirkus, “smart and mordantly funny,” –Milwaukee Journal, and “gut punching…”–Mary Roach. He has appeared in several anthologies, and has written for The Washington Post, Business Insider, Signature-Reads, and The Good Men Project, where he served for a year as chief editor of the War & Veterans section.

He has been featured in several documentaries regarding military service, philosophy, and comedy, and he has worked as a military consultant for award-winning theater and art installations.

A graduate of Bridgewater State University, Michael also holds an MFA in creative writing from Lesley University. A former US army soldier, he currently lives with his wife in Massachusetts and spends his free time working with veterans.

Michael can be reached through his website: MichaelAnthonyAuthor.com

Reviews

[Tessa {bleeds glitter} · Rating 4 out of 5]

"What I was realizing was that war isn't what breaks soldiers. It isn't being a trained killer, and killing, nor is it the constant brushes with death and the loss of fellow soldiers. What actually breaks the soldier isn't the fighting and the dying. It's the peace."

I got this book by accident. Apparently something went wrong with my order and when I got this book I was slightly confused but just started reading it and got about halfway through before I realized that there really had been a mix up and this was not the book I had ordered (it had been a few weeks since the order okay).
But I was already hooked, so I continued reading.

I'm glad I did.

The writing, after a slightly rocky start, got better with every sentence. In any other book the inconsistencies and abrupt scene changes would probably have annoyed me but this is a story about a drug addict who's usually either drunk or drugged or both, so the writing was really fitting.

I have never been in a warzone or in any situation where my life or anyone elses was truly on the line so I have no way of knowing what being a soldier- and a veteran- is like and I do not want to imply that I have even the slightest idea of what that must be like, but I could understand the character's motives and reactions quite well, thanks to the straight-forward writing, to the first person narration and the flashbacks in the middle of stressful situations which made it so easy to understand why he was reacting the way he was.

The ending came a little abruptly, but as Anthony writes in the Epilogue: "Real life endings are never what you expect, because those magical moments that catch us off guard can never be predicted."
And when has real life ever not caught us off guard?

[Grady · Rating 5 out of 5]

‘I’d always heard the hardest part about returning from war is adjusting to the changes that happen while you’re away.’

Massachusetts author Michael Anthony has previously published his journal recorded during his year in Iraq serving as a medic in the midst of the worse than bizarre war being played out around him. That book is a journal written with fine graphics dividing the entries by hours in the days in the weeks in the months of his tour of duty - all bound by the barbed wire that so aptly describes the imprisonment felt by those serving in a position for a given period of time to perform despite the belief in the cause. This writing technique served Anthony well: he is freed from the literary confines of connecting incidents, minutes/hours/days, into a flowing story - the entries do that for him. And what we learned from this young writer (of very great promise!) is not so much about the particular war in Iraq, but instead about what happens in every war in which civilians serve in the medical capacity.

Now Michael stretches his skills further with CIVILIANIZED – a book whose summary states ‘After 12 months of military service in Iraq, Michael Anthony stepped off a plane, seemingly happy to be home—or at least back on US soil. He was 21 years old, a bit of a nerd, and carrying a pack of cigarettes that he thought would be his last. Two months later, Michael was stoned on Vicodin, drinking way too much, and picking a fight with a very large Hell’s Angel. At his wit’s end, he came to an agreement with himself: If things didn’t improve in three months, he was going to kill himself. Civilianized is a memoir chronicling Michael’s search for meaning in a suddenly destabilized world.’ For a synopsis that covers territory but it doesn’t begin to honor the quality of this fine discourse about the effects of war on returning soldiers.

Much of what Anthony writes details that ‘grab bag diagnosis’ of PTSD: that is not to say PTSD is a fictitious diagnosis – it is the effect on the mind that constant exposure to killing and injustice, and terror of sounds/sights/sunrise/sunset and other trauma of being in a war zone metastasize into behavioral changes that accompany all wars form all periods of time. Few writers have been able to share that emotional bankruptcy that many returning soldiers tend to assuage with prescription drugs for pain and mental distress, alcohol, street drugs, ill-judged behavior patterns, homelessness etc that Michael has captured so vividly. And even fewer have the ability to find the light and even humorous side of the concept of becoming ‘civilianized’

But even more important than his keen descriptive and diagnostic eye of the ill effects of war on veterans is his journey through the quagmire – an intensely helpful guide by association for all those who have suffered war exposure. This book should be required reading, not only for veterans of all wars, but also for families of veterans and politicians who truly have miniscule understanding about what we ask our ‘protectors of freedom’ to experience...and to survive. Highly Recommended.

[Jim Higgins · Rating 4 out of 5]

A harrowing but also sometimes comic memoir of a soldier's struggle to acclimate himself to civilian life again. And a powerful story about living with PTSD.

[Malik Wise · Rating 4 out of 5]

I haven't read too many memoirs of servicemen who've returned from any wars, let alone one I served in myself. Michael Anthony does a fine job of capturing the sense of futility, longing, and aimlessness that accompanies the return home.

[Saleena Longmuir · Rating 3 out of 5]

Michael Anthony's account of coming home and trying to become "civilianized" after the military is concise and cuts straight through you. He asks for no pity, simply stating what he saw, thought and knew; and what he has learned since. This is not a fun read, but definitely one for anyone struggling to understand what their loved one is going through with PTSD, civilian life after war and addiction issues.

[LitPick Book Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

Michael Anthony has returned home after spending a year in Iraq. He believes that he will lead a happy life now that he’s home, but that’s not how it turns out. A couple of weeks after returning, he finds himself drinking and wanting to pick fights. He comes to the conclusion that if things don’t get better in three months, he’ll end his life. This memoir is an inspiring story of one young veteran’s struggle with life after war and how many other veterans struggle today.

Opinion:
The thing I loved most about this book was the amazing authorship. The way the author wrote it made me feel as if I were a side character, alongside him the entire journey. I felt and feared for him throughout the book.

I don’t normally read memoirs. They’ve never really been my type of book. However, this one has given me a new perspective. Though it was a short read, I found that I felt more for the author than I usually do in longer, fictional books. Perhaps I connected with the author more because it was a true story and I knew he really did go through those things and it wasn’t just a figment of someone’s imagination.

This memoir is an amazing account of a veteran’s life ​after war instead of during ​it. I recommend it for anyone who is looking to learn more about what many veterans suffer through upon returning home. Thank you for allowing me to read this book. It touched me in many ways, and it is a story I will never forget.

Reviewed by a LitPick student book reviewer Age:17

[Daniel]

Was pretty intresting

[Kaleab · Rating 4 out of 5]

I couldn't get the point at first at first but got the message at the end.It is basically to tell the reason why deployed soldier's feeling wouldn't be the same when they return to home.

[Sheila · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a little rough but a forceful account of an ex-army medical officer dealing with PTSD and the intricate task of acclimatizing to daily life in the States, particularly LA and MA. It is an eye-opener for anyone who knows someone who has been in Iran, Iraq, Vietnam, etc. What appears as disjointed, absent-minded, and somewhat self-absorbed behavior is turmoil eating at the inside of a young mind who saw it all (that, and some heavy medication, alcohol, and nicotine). Because the story takes place here in the comforts of home, the only territory the reader is unfamiliar with is the mind of a returned veteran. For two-thirds of the short memoir I was not particularly enjoying the narrative. Although amusing at times, it was equally disturbing and a learning experience that left me feeling insipid. I wondered if I should rate it on my own fulfillment as a reader or on recommendation. Eventually it was synched but only after finishing and being reminded of what we don't want to think about when we hear the number of deaths overseas. These are humans we send as soldiers. And although some come home, they have a large task of sorting things out.

[Mandi Lynn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'll admit, I had a bit of a hard time with this one at first. I have a great love for memoirs, but they're hard to review. Memoirs aren't stories you can control, you can just hope your life is interesting enough to make a story. Michael Anthony's novel is about his return from war in Iraq. The story does jump around a bit, but I think for a good reason because otherwise the memoir might have been a little dry. My only complaint is that I felt like I was missing something; though I can't put my finger on what it is that's missing.
Overall it's a very enlightening, almost frightening insight into war. It's short enough to keep your attention while still connecting with the story enough to care. I hope more people stumble upon this book to allow for better insight into what it is our men in uniform are doing.
I wasn't sure how the book was going to end (the memoir never had a super clear direction in terms of plot) but I was happy with how everything was summed up and brought to a close.

[Sabrina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Michael Anthony's memoir of coming home from a combat zone is a great choice for anyone who is interested in the difficulties that our troops can face when they come home from a combat zone. Anthony served as a combat medic in Iraq when he was just out of high school, but the story he tells here is of coming home without knowing how to be home. Deprecatingly funny, he chronicles a period in his life when he was contemplating suicide and struggling with multiple maladaptive coping mechanisms to deal with the anger and pain he brought home with him. Despite it's heavy topic and unabashed anger, Anthony writes with a charming kind of intimacy and a humility that makes for a quick and enjoyable reading experience. Anthony manages to walk a tight line of never taking himself too seriously while being dead serious. Altogether, a worthwhile read for anyone interested in veteran's stories or in memoir chronicling the struggles brought on by traumatic events.

[Helen Marquis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Michael Anthony pulls no punches in his memoir of returning from 12 months of military service in Iraq and his attempts to resume a normal life at home. Having served as an operating room technician, he had seen the war up close and personal in all its bloody glory.
He seeks solace in alcohol, prescription meds and dive bars, but finds only more despair, and befriends a group of fellow veterans, all of whom have their own struggles and coping mechanisms. He ultimately gives himself 3 months for things to get better or he's going to kill himself.
The fact he lives to tell the tale doesn't mean there aren't some desperate times along the way. This is a viscerally real account of a life on the edge, and a stark reminder of the effect life in the armed forces can have on a person. Essential reading.

[Taylor J. · Rating 5 out of 5]

"They were weird, and not in the funny/ironic sort of way...
In the, why did you just lick that sort of way"

This book is hilarious to me. As a displaced Southerner living in Boston, who formerly roomed with the prince of one of the infamous "lairs" described in Civilianized, I can vividly picture the magic tricks, negative-compliments, and otherwise logistical considerations practiced by the true life characters. I found this book to, for lack of a better term, "try less hard" than the authors last book, as far as being descriptive goes. I enjoyed the last book a great deal, and it was about life and death, where as this book is about trying to meld back into a world where life and death is not a daily concerned as a combat veteran, so it makes sense. I guess my point is, I feel the author has grown and this book does more with less. Strongly recommend.

[Jessica Bronder · Rating 5 out of 5]

Michael Anthony has just returned home after spending a year as a medic in Iraq. He was home but things were not going to be easy for him. Within two weeks of being home he finds himself on Vicodin, drinking, picking fights, and so much more. This is a heartbreaking journey into PTSD. It’s easy to say that a soldier is suffering from PTSD or blame their behaviors on it. But this is an up close and personal look into one man’s journey into, through, and out of hell.

As a reader, it is easy to say that you understand what the person goes through just by reading their books, journals, notes, or having a conversation with them. And I notice that when someone mentions PTSD it is used as a diagnosis, or someone saying just give them drugs for their problems, or just side stepping the topic entirely. But placing ourselves in someone else’s shoes with the hurt, pain, suffering, happiness, love, and everything in between is hard to do.

Civilanized is Michael’s story. My heart goes out to this man. He served our county and deserves the outmost respect just for that. He also survives returning to civilian life even though it was tough and he thought about suicide at one point. His journey is not pretty but it is one that I think more people should learn about. Read this book and walk in his shoes. Michael is one of those that have survived PTSD and can share his story. He is an inspiration for many people.

I loved this book and didn’t realize that it was Michael’s second book. I will definitely be getting my hands on Mass Casualties.

I received Civilianized from Stephanie Thomas PR for free. This has in no way influenced my opinion of this book.

[Adam Wong · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a great read for me because I like to read about things that happen in the real world. The author writes about his own battles after coming back from the army. He struggles with problems that many other veterans have, like drug addiction, alcoholism, and depression. He meets people in a support group that are trying to fix their lives just like him. Michael Anthony tells his story well and keeps the book interesting for about half of the book. The book is enticing to read, but about halfway through the memoir turns repetitive with his issues and what happens. From there it becomes harder to read because of the feeling of constantly reading the same things. Anthony could have improved his memoir by telling about other things besides constantly restating his drug addiction and alcoholism.
I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone because it was only interesting for the first half, and the second half became increasingly repetitive. This made it a challenge to finish the book which is why I would not recommend it. However I would recommend this book to people who enjoy reading about real life issues and how people deal with it. I think a veteran would like to read this book. They might not initially like the book because it might remind them of issues other veterans have, but if they have the same issues then this book might be interesting to them because they can read how another veteran saved himself from drug addiction and alcoholism.

[Sarah G · Rating 4 out of 5]

Review might be late but this still goes down as another off my 2018 Bookworm Bingo Challenge – A memoir. A biography memoir bringing to life what can happen when you get back home after war. You might physically be back but mentally and emotionally are two other matters entirely.

Michael was clearly struggling, like so many I’m sure, and this seems to be an almost therapeutic way of putting everything out there for people to see. The darker side of how people cope (or don’t cope) with when they get back. Drinking, smoking, drugs, sex, everything to the excess. It seems to be a way to drown out memories or feelings so you can just get through the day.

There was an interesting mix of people throughout that Michael met along the way in the first three months after getting back. The dating guru of sorts was funny in his methods, along with the others from the class. Finally going to PTSD and drug addiction meetings was a step in the right direction but maybe not the right kind of meeting with the other people that were there. With the meetings anyway you have to want to be there to see any benefit or else you are just going through the motions and not getting anything back from it.

I feel the abrupt ending worked well because in life nothing is tied up with a happy big bow on it to finish things off. This isn’t the end anyway but more like a true beginning. With fiction you can create the ending you want. With fact it’s real life and nothing in life that’s worth having is easy.

I did feel at times that the timeline jumped around a little. It’s only taking place within three months to begin with but at points days seemed to jump around. There was a good pace throughout though and it does keep you hooked to see how everything plays out.

The struggles shown throughout are hard at times to read but real in a way to show you what can really happen. But also that there is help out there to help you try and find a way back to the other side. Dark and gritty too but that’s needed to show the true perils of dealing with PTSD, depression and addiction. An interesting read all the same though that is worth checking out.

I received a copy of this book from the author for my honest review.
https://readingnook84.wordpress.com/2...

[Sophie2200317 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Michael Anthony’s Civilianized: A Young Veteran’s Memoir (published by Pulp) tells the compelling story of a young veteran trying to readjust to civilian life. The book recounts Michael Anthony’s story after he returned home after the Iraq War, and the difficulties he has while trying to assimilate to civilian life. To me, the best part of this book is how it presents a veteran’s reassimilation into civilian life with honesty instead of easy clichés. This book has two purposes: To tell Michael Anthony’s own story and to draw attention to the problems that veterans have after coming home from war. This book is aimed at the public, but it especially aimed towards addressing people without ties to or knowledge of the military world.

[Muhammad Habib-Ali · Rating 5 out of 5]

I first discovered the author's writing through his graphic memoir "Just Another Meat-Eating Dirtbag: A Memoir." I have found myself a big fan of his after reading that memoir and now his other one "Civilianized: A Young Veteran's Memoir." He writes with a depth and clarity that speaks of an older soul, though with a sense of humor in his work that reminds me of his youthfulness and clamor for right and wrong. If you have ever suffered with depression or suicide or have a friend who has suffered from depression or suicide or has PTSD or has struggled after returning from a warzone then I would highly recommend this book and Michael's other fantastic book "Just Another Meat-Eating Dirtbag: A Memoir."

[Bea Bezmalinovic · Rating 4 out of 5]

Our town picked this book for a town read-a-thon. Michael Anthony grew up in Massachusetts and I think he returned to the state after his deployment.

The book captures the fury, anger and frustration that many vets experience when they return from deployment. It highlights the weak network that vets return to find and the limited resources available to help them return to civilian life.

The book is short and dark. It packs a punch.

[Megon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very interesting book. Gives a lot of insight into what happens to the veterans when they come home. It seemed a bit manic, and it probably could have tripled in length, but it was worth reading. I did get this book from goodreads.

[Pat Conway · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dark, witty and unafraid.

This is a story from the perspective of the few, forgotten by many. An unabashed glimpse into what it takes to truly come home. A must read!

[Dayna BD · Rating 4 out of 5]

My only complaint is that is was over too soon. Thank you for writing this.

[Joni Haynes · Rating 2 out of 5]

I haven't finished this book yet, so I am hoping it becomes more positive. It makes me incredibly sad reading about this young vet's excessive drinking, and his problems finding a relationship.

[Kartika · Rating 3 out of 5]

Appreciate the perspective…

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

All in all this is a 3.5 for me; I very much enjoyed this book for what it was.

Biographies & Memoirs 

Mental Health > Post-traumatic Stress Disorder

History > Military > Iraq War


This memoir gives us a window into the few months following Michaels return from Iraq when he was 21 years old. This book was not published until he was around 30. The book was a bit chaotic, but I believe that is on purpose and the choppiness is used to illustrate his mental state at the time. It felt at times; as if I were reading a vivid and dynamic outline It was hard to feel like he was truly with me. I feel like this was the main problem with his writing as he was illustrating his mentality; his disconnect, scatteredness, his sense of not truly "being there, which were all essential components of the book and therefore he succeeded in transferring that disconnect to his reader and did not leave it in his story.

Above all, this is a very important story. It is so many people's story and I think everyone should read this book. It is so easy to not think about our military. When we do think of them, we think we know what we don't. When we think we help, we patronize. When we think we understand, we offend. When we think we know, we don't know.


I look forward to reading his other book to see if what I feel like was *missing* in this book might be filled in.