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Charlie and the War Against the Grannies
I didn't want Mrs Cyclopolos to explode. I just wanted a paper round.My name is Charlie Ian Duncan. I will be 12 on 2 February. I have written this history of my war with the grannies because I need everyone to know that I didn't mean for Mrs Cyclopolos to blow up. I just wanted a paper round.When I say 'my war with the grannies', I really mean the war I waged alongside my best friend Hils, my second-best-friend Rashid, Peter the Iraqi who isn't afraid of anything (well apart from one thing), Warren and his magical bike TwelveSpeed and those crazy people we met underground.The grannies started it when I asked them about a paper round and they sprayed me in the face with rooster brand chilli sauce and made me think that I was dead. Hils and I decided to go to war with them but then I discovered one of the grannies had a glass eye and I wasn't sure if it was okay to go to war against someone with a glass eye but then I discovered that the granny with the glass eye could pinch bricks in half, turn her snot-covered hankies into deadly throwing weapons and possessed a truly terrible device called the Gnashing Gnet.It's all true.Especially the bit about me not wanting anyone to blow up.
276 pages, Paperback
First published June 28, 2016
4 people are currently reading
49 people want to read
About the author
Alan Brough
8 books5 followersAlan Brough was born in New Zealand and is quite a bit older than he’d like to be. Alan has always loved books and, from an early age, wanted to be a writer. Then he and his Dad went to see Star Wars and Alan decided that, actually, he really, really, really, really, really wanted to be an actor.
After having been an actor for a while Alan realised there wasn’t that much work for a 6’4″ guy with a slightly lopsided face and thick curly hair so he tried his hand at directing, broadcasting, composing, dancing (true!), singing and, in an unexpected turn of events, being a professional music nerd.
Recently, he got around to being a writer.
One day he hopes to have a bio that includes phrases like ‘bestselling’, ‘award-winning’ and ‘so successful that he recently bought a solid gold toilet’ but, until then, he’s just happy to look at his copy of Charlie and the War Against the Grannies and think: ‘Cool! I wrote a book!’
After having been an actor for a while Alan realised there wasn’t that much work for a 6’4″ guy with a slightly lopsided face and thick curly hair so he tried his hand at directing, broadcasting, composing, dancing (true!), singing and, in an unexpected turn of events, being a professional music nerd.
Recently, he got around to being a writer.
One day he hopes to have a bio that includes phrases like ‘bestselling’, ‘award-winning’ and ‘so successful that he recently bought a solid gold toilet’ but, until then, he’s just happy to look at his copy of Charlie and the War Against the Grannies and think: ‘Cool! I wrote a book!’
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
August 28, 2017
Read this to a group of students and they loved it. It's funny and held their interest. I enjoyed it too.
July 7, 2016
I've given this story 5 stars (which doesn't happen often), but it's definitely between I liked it and amazing. I loved it. Maybe I have a strange sense of humour, because some parts of this story were definitely strange, but I was laughing out loud all the way through the story.
Charlie wants a paper round. But never in a million years can he imagine what he and his best friend Hils (Hilary) would have to do to get one.
When he begins to ask about one, a man runs away screaming, they’re told it’s the most dangerous job in the world and they should leave town, and then they are attacked by very hot chilli sauce. But why?
With Hils’ army expertise and Charlie’s determination they come up against rock-hard throwing hankies, flying false teeth, charging nanas and one glass eye. There are secret HQ’s, trick mirrors, espionage, and army training. They have waged war against the Stinkly Wrinkly’s!
This is the funniest book I’ve read in ages. I was laughing out loud constantly at Charlie and Hils’ antics. Charlie is a worrier and Hils the opposite – speaking everything in army lingo, with Charlie interpreting for the reader. There was tons of toilet humour, crazy characters and silly situations.
New from a Kiwi Author. HILARIOUS!
Charlie wants a paper round. But never in a million years can he imagine what he and his best friend Hils (Hilary) would have to do to get one.
When he begins to ask about one, a man runs away screaming, they’re told it’s the most dangerous job in the world and they should leave town, and then they are attacked by very hot chilli sauce. But why?
With Hils’ army expertise and Charlie’s determination they come up against rock-hard throwing hankies, flying false teeth, charging nanas and one glass eye. There are secret HQ’s, trick mirrors, espionage, and army training. They have waged war against the Stinkly Wrinkly’s!
This is the funniest book I’ve read in ages. I was laughing out loud constantly at Charlie and Hils’ antics. Charlie is a worrier and Hils the opposite – speaking everything in army lingo, with Charlie interpreting for the reader. There was tons of toilet humour, crazy characters and silly situations.
New from a Kiwi Author. HILARIOUS!
October 9, 2016
Charlies and the War Against the Grannies was a fun middle grade read, definitely recommended for kids who enjoy David Walliams but want to move onto something a little more challenging - less illustration more text.
It was amusing and had great characters, Hils would have to be my favourite. However there were a few things that I thought could have been explored more. Perhaps there will be another book that will delve into these aspects? The concept of a digital orphan was really interesting but I don't think it was fully explored, I think it was just used as a device so that if a reader were to think 'Where are this kids parents!' it's explained why Charlie doesn't run to Mum or Dad for help.
Overall very enjoyable though!
It was amusing and had great characters, Hils would have to be my favourite. However there were a few things that I thought could have been explored more. Perhaps there will be another book that will delve into these aspects? The concept of a digital orphan was really interesting but I don't think it was fully explored, I think it was just used as a device so that if a reader were to think 'Where are this kids parents!' it's explained why Charlie doesn't run to Mum or Dad for help.
Overall very enjoyable though!
December 13, 2017
Our junior book club (7 - 11 yr olds) read "Charlie and the War Against the Grannies" and enjoyed it immensely - much more than I did :) They loved the humour and the adventure and found it hilarious when Charlie thought he might be dead - an admittedly very funny scene!
We rated it:
10 / 8 / 9.5 / 9.5 / 10 / 5 (me)
We rated it:
10 / 8 / 9.5 / 9.5 / 10 / 5 (me)
August 24, 2021
I quite literally stumbled across this book on the shelves, read a couple of pages and was hooked. Laugh out loud funny! I loved Charlie (the main character) and the weird yet relatable way he has of looking at life. Some toilet humour, which will go down well with children.
October 19, 2017
A fun story that those in middle primary will love. I loved the character, Hils and the translations of her army talk!
February 15, 2018
Alan Brough is hilarious. Great job. My kids would have loved this if we'd had it when they were at the right age. Highly recommended.
June 11, 2018
Charlie and his best friend Hils battle the local granny cartel, in a truly hilarious adventure. Nine and seven year olds loved it.
December 27, 2016
A good funny read for those who like Paul Jennings, Morris Gleitzman and David Walliams.
Read
October 27, 2016My name is Charlie Ian Duncan. I will be 12 on 2 February. I have written this history of my war with the grannies because I need everyone to know that I didn't mean for Mrs Cyclopolos to blow up. I just wanted a paper round.
When I say 'my war with the grannies', I really mean the war I waged alongside my best friend Hils, my second-best-friend Rashid, Peter the Iraqi who isn't afraid of anything (well apart from one thing), Warren and his magical bike TwelveSpeed and those crazy people we met underground.
The grannies started it when I asked them about a paper round and they sprayed me in the face with rooster brand chilli sauce and made me think that I was dead. Hils and I decided to go to war with them but then I discovered one of the grannies had a glass eye and I wasn't sure if it was okay to go to war against someone with a glass eye but then I discovered that the granny with the glass eye could pinch bricks in half, turn her snot-covered hankies into deadly throwing weapons and possessed a truly terrible device called the Gnashing Gnet.
It's all true.
Especially the bit about me not wanting anyone to blow up.
When I say 'my war with the grannies', I really mean the war I waged alongside my best friend Hils, my second-best-friend Rashid, Peter the Iraqi who isn't afraid of anything (well apart from one thing), Warren and his magical bike TwelveSpeed and those crazy people we met underground.
The grannies started it when I asked them about a paper round and they sprayed me in the face with rooster brand chilli sauce and made me think that I was dead. Hils and I decided to go to war with them but then I discovered one of the grannies had a glass eye and I wasn't sure if it was okay to go to war against someone with a glass eye but then I discovered that the granny with the glass eye could pinch bricks in half, turn her snot-covered hankies into deadly throwing weapons and possessed a truly terrible device called the Gnashing Gnet.
It's all true.
Especially the bit about me not wanting anyone to blow up.
December 29, 2016
I found myself speed-reading this ... Alan Brough speaks at a frenetic pace and I had to make a conscious effort to slow my reading. Will try and source the audio book version just to hear his narration. A wonderful mix of styles including bullet points, lists, warnings, facts and fave lists.
Larger than life characters make for a hilarious read. Slapstick style adventures, gross-out shenanigans and just utter craziness. Definitely a recommendation if you enjoy reading David Walliams, Morris Gleitzman, Andy Griffiths and Paul Jennings.
Disclaimer: Seventeen grannies were hurt (just a little bit) during the making of this book.
Larger than life characters make for a hilarious read. Slapstick style adventures, gross-out shenanigans and just utter craziness. Definitely a recommendation if you enjoy reading David Walliams, Morris Gleitzman, Andy Griffiths and Paul Jennings.
Disclaimer: Seventeen grannies were hurt (just a little bit) during the making of this book.
October 27, 2016
I loved Charlie and the War against the Grannies. It achieves that very difficult laugh out loud status. Alan Brough has joined the Dahl, Walliams tradition with this wonderful mix of funny and evil. Happily Alan has a contract for another book.
http://astrongbeliefinwicker.blogspot...
http://astrongbeliefinwicker.blogspot...
May 25, 2016
Stupidly funny; I didn't stop giggling!! And I don't think I can ever fully trust Grannies again...
May 30, 2016
Lots of good fun in this junior fiction.
September 15, 2016
Plot, style etc all great but I just didn't like Charlie's attitude which was too wimpish and contradicted the Charlie who had amazing ideas about secret tunnels etc.
September 23, 2016
Laugh aloud funny!
September 30, 2016
Very silly but a lot of fun. I actually listened to the audio book which was read by Alan Brough. I think his reading added a lot of value.
Read
August 23, 2018I borrowed this as an audio book from our local library on the recommendation of a librarian. Alan Brough is well known for his appearances on Spicks ‘n Specks, and I didn’t know he is also an author. This junior fiction story is imaginative and entertaining. Sure, it has the required poo and farting references that kids in this age group just can’t live without, but aside from that it is quite comical. Charlie’s desire for a paper run is thwarted by two old grannies who don’t want any competition, much less than from a 12 year old boy. He decides the only way to win is to fight them with the able-bodied assistance of his friend Hills (NEVER call her Hillary). Brough’s chapters entertain on every level, as the two gather an army for battle. The various characters add to this story in many ways, and for a crazy fictional story, it is easy to imagine each scene unfolding. Well worth reading, especially by any 10-12 year olds the you may know.
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews