From the publisher: Summer 2018: Two years into President Donald J. Trump’s first term in office, America has never been greater. The Even Greater Wall along the Mexican border is under construction, paid for by Mexico. Americans have more money in their pockets thanks to lower taxes and the president’s creative money-raising strategies. (Who else would have thought to pay for FMA’s budget to buing the Catholic Church over property damage caused by acts of God?) And while Trump’s detractors may call him a tyrant, the American People love bullies when the victim is Congress: very time they impeach him, his approval rating skyrockets to an all new high.
Ever conscious of his hugely important historical legacy, The Donald plucks disgraced tabloid reporter Jimmie Bernwood - the man responsible for publishing the infamous Ted Cruz sex tape - - from the depths of anonymity to become his official biographer, giving him enviable access to the gold-plated White House and all of its secrets. When Trump’s previous biographer turns up dead, Bernwood must do some real investigative reporting, get to the bottom of a long series of murders . . . and, if it’s absolutely unavoidable, save the country. . . . A hilariously hair-raising look at the [possible] future of America.
First things first: The sub-title of this novel – and it is a novel, which the author describes on the cover is “A completely untrue, utterly unauthorized, but not thoroughly impossible thriller,” is “Trump Trumps America!,” exclamation mark the author’s. Second thing I should state: It may not matter whether the reader is a supporter of Mr. Trump or not - - well, then again, it may. The third thing: By page two I was smiling, by page three I was laughing out loud. And that did not stop as I continued reading.
The very first page is headed Praise for Donald J. Trump, and the quotes that continue for a page and a half are all those of the aforesaid Mr. Trump. Then there is another quote, attributed to President-Elect Trump in his acceptance speech, November 8, 2016: “It’s like Mahatma Gandhi said: First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win . . . and then you make them all kiss your a**.”
The memoir Jimmy is hired to write is to be titled “America’s Greatest Decade.” That is explained as follows: “He’ll have to remove term limits, but he considers that a formality.” The White house is now referred to as The Gold House, which Trump took “as a tremendous compliment,” and the name “Trump” is emblazoned on the façade. Just a sampling of what follows: During Trump’s administration, he had vetoed neary ninety percent of the bills that that had crossed his desk; following the President’s “overhauling” of the White House, there is now an 18-hole course designed by Jack Nicklaus; the door to the Oval Office now has a brass”T” on it; the rooms within now have gold-trimmed ceilings; the elevators have gold-trimmed doors and contain bonsai trees on decorated pillars; and the position formerly known as that of Chief of Staff is now the White House apprentice. (None of those things could actually happen, could they??)
There are some familiar names here, e.g., Sarah Palin is Secretary of the Energies; Chris Christie is Chief Janitor. For fear of spoilers, I leave the rest of this wonderful book to your enjoyment, which I pretty much guarantee will be in store for you. (The aforementioned murders, btw, qualify the book as a mystery.) Highly recommended. (Regardless of your political leanings, or the outcome of the upcoming Convention and election.)