The Nonverbal Advantage: Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work

by Carol Kinsey Goman

The workplace is a “blink” studies show that we form opinions of one another within seven seconds of meeting and that 93 percent of the messages people receive from us have nothing to do with what we actually say. So the ability to recognize and develop good nonverbal communication skills can be a huge professional advantage.

Carol Kinsey Goman combines the latest research and her twenty-five years of practical experience as a consultant, coach, and therapist in this fun and practical guide to understanding what you and the people you work with are saying without speaking. Cartoons, photos, entertaining anecdotes, and dozens of simple and enlightening exercises help readers gain control of the messages their bodies are sending so they can project a more accurate and compelling picture of who they really are to their colleagues, clients, and partners.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Communication, Business, Self Help, Personal Growth, Management

216 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2008

About the author

Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D., helps executives, managers, entrepreneurs, women leaders, and sales professionals build their impact and influence skills. Her latest book is STAND OUT: How to Build Your Leadership Presence.

She is a sought-after international speaker at business meetings, association conferences, government agencies, and universities with clients in 31 countries.
Carol is a leadership contributor for Forbes, and the creator of LinkedIn Learning’s best-selling video course with over 2 million views, “Body Language for Leaders.” She is a faculty member for the Institute for Management Studies (USA) and Ex2 Academy (Europe).

Carol has been a therapist in private practice, a nightclub entertainer, and a majorette for the 49er football team -- but not in that order.

Reviews

[Nguyen Linh Chi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bạn nào muốn tìm 1 cuốn sách ngắn gọn và xúc tích về body language nơi công sở nên đọc cuốn này. Đọc xong muốn tìm hiểu sâu hơn thì đọc thêm The Definitive Book of Body Language cũng được.

Note lại vài ý:
- 5C trong first impression:
+ Context
+ Clusters: Cần ít nhất 3 body language cùng 1 thời điểm để kết luận thái độ của người đối diện.
+ Congruence: Cử chỉ phải thống nhất với lời nói. Ảnh hưởng của 1 thông điệp chỉ đến từ 7% lời nói và 38% giọng nói, nhưng body language chiếm tận 55%.
+ Consistence: Chú ý quan sát 1 người trong điều kiện bình thường cư xử như thế nào để thấy sự khác biệt của người đó trong trường hợp bất thường.
+ Culture

- Nghiêng người về phía trước khi trò chuyện.

- Trong công việc nhớ điều chỉnh ánh mắt ở vùng tam giác tạo bởi 2 mắt và trán của đồng nghiệp (Cái này cần nhớ!!). Để ý màu mắt người đối diện. Không nên nhìn chằm chằm. Vùng tam giác tạo bởi 2 mắt và miệng chỉ dành cho giao tiếp thông thường.

- Nhớ về quá khứ mắt hướng về bên trái, sáng tạo hình ảnh mới mắt hướng về bên phải.

- Các biểu hiện của sự giả tạo:
+ Body language 2 bên mặt không cân xứng.
+ 1 cử chỉ diễn ra trong >5 giây.
+ Lời nói không đi kèm với cử chỉ (hoặc đi trước).

- Để đầu thẳng khi giao tiếp trong công việc. Gật đầu 3 lần những lúc cần thiết.

- Trong cuộc họp, thấy đồng nghiệp sờ mũi, cằm, miệng hoặc sau gáy, gõ tay xuống bàn, chống cằm hay nhặt bụi vải trên áo, nên dừng lại hỏi họ có thắc mắc gì không (Cái này phải nhớ!!).

- Để các ngón tay thẳng, chụm vào nhau khi nói chuyện, để mở lòng bàn tay khi thuyết trình.

- Dang chân rộng bằng vai, chia đều trọng tâm vào 2 chân khi thuyết trình.

- Khi đến gần 1 nam đồng nghiệp, đừng bên hông anh ta. Khi đến gần 1 nữ đồng nghiệp, đứng đối diện cô ấy.

- Gọi tên đối phương khi giao tiếp.

- Đứng thẳng, ưỡn ngực, ngẩng cao đầu.

- Nên biểu lộ cảm xúc bản thân nhiều hơn.

[Michael · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am studying Sociology in school but always been intrigued with human body language. I remember being fascinated by a person who was able to read me by my body language. Not only was he accurate the way he described me in words,but I was impressed of how he was able to predict what I was thinking. Studying me, the topic of nonverbal language really sparked my interest to the topic. Needless to say, I was excited about reading this and this did not disappoint me in any way.

Shaking hands, nodding your head, folding your arms, etc it says so much without saying anything! I remember reading the section about job interviews, how if you do not make direct eye contact, your chances of being hired are very slim. It does not matter if you are qualified for the job or not, an employer would just eliminate your chances of being hired just based on little details as that. Also I really liked how the book included tips on how to behave in a workplace or in a social circle. The pictures that accompanied the book was factual and it really taught me to monitor how I behave with others.

Highly recommended for people who wants to know how their nonverbal language can be a good or a bad thing!

[Toommee1]

في التطبيق ﻻنستطيع قرآءة الكتب

[Sylvester · Rating 4 out of 5]

Goman presented a simply guide into the common signs one can observe to read the mood and status of a person, the illustrations were a bit shoddy but she offered clear explanation of what each sign meant. Although I consider it to be common sense, it is a nice refresher for people to practice reading body language.

[anna b · Rating 2 out of 5]

Nothing that anyone who has been in the workforce long enough don't know. Reading about body language puts it into the conscious mind so that we can be more careful about how we present ourselves. Nothing revelatory.

[Angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good photos, and carefullly documented nuances with the standard 'cluster caveat'to help with translation.

[Yasmeen Almania · Rating 5 out of 5]

من أفضل الكتب الخاصة بلغة الجسد من ناحية الشمول و الدقة و الوضوح.

[Danaalamour]

كتاب رائع بس لسا ما قرأتو D:

[Nhã Trương · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cuốn sách phân tích rất rõ những "sự thật không lời" thông qua các bộ phận trên cơ thể. Đây là sự lựa chọn không thể thiếu cho những bạn quan tâm đến tâm lí học, ngôn ngữ cơ thể.
Điều thú vị mà tôi nhớ nhất: Ở Bungari, gật đầu có nghĩa là "không", còn lắc đầu lại là "có".

[نورَا حَايِك · Rating 1 out of 5]

قرأته في المرحلة المتوسطة و قد كنت مهتمة وقتها بعلم النفس و تطوير الذات، لكنه لم ينفعني بشيء لا وقتها ولا الآن، و لم أخرج منه سوى بمعلومة، "أن أقدام الأشخاص تتجه إلى حيث يريدون أن يذهبو" لا حاجة للتعليق أكثر😂…

[Xuân Nguyễn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quite under expectation

[Phương Phùng Bá · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thâm sâu hàm ý
không chỉ giúp người muốn diễn đạt bộc lộ được ý tốt hơn, thu hút ánh nhìn nhiều hơn mà còn giúp người được đọc nhìn thấu tâm can của người đối diện.

[Ha Thanh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sách phù hợp môi trường công sở

[platkat · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book provides a high-level summary of societal norms to which many of us have grown accustomed, but some of us may still not understand. Much of it seemed like filler to me, although it could be useful to someone with autism or a similar social handicap.

I did, however, take away two pieces of knowledge regarding women in the workplace. The first was the business vs. social gaze. I am more mindful of it now, as I tend to look at a person's entire face when they're talking to me. The book suggests you direct your attention to the person's forehead rather than their lips. Looking at one's lips in a subconsciously flirtatious move that could have disastrous results in the wrong setting. (That explains so much!)

The second was the feminine head tilt. I know I do this in pictures, and now I'm trying to be more aware of it when I'm talking to coworkers. Again, it's considered a signal of flirtation, and it should be avoided. Hooray for being aware of one's own body!

I also didn't know that when you nod your head at least three times while someone is talking, the person will talk three to four times more than usual. That might be a fun experiment to try. The book was peppered with several others, but some of them were kind of hokey and pointless. This was the only one that struck me as particularly beneficial.

I did not agree with the segment on touching. They seemed to try too hard to make a case for doing it, and I'm a big fan of respecting others' boundaries, erring on the side of caution if you don't know them well. One study showed that waiters that touched their clients more made more tips. But that's One Study. Don't. Touch Me.

Maybe I'm not the best person to critique this book...

[Dan · Rating 3 out of 5]

We are built to send and receive non-verbal body language. Some of us are more tuned to it then others which gives that indivdual an advantage in some situations.

Decoding non-verbal body language is useful the more you get to know someone. You can't make a blanket statement on a certain posture or eye look unless you know a person's baseline non-verbal language.

It was a fun read though and if I really wanted to get good at it, then I would have to buy the book and practice every day.

[Tiago · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love studying Body Language and this book was new to me. I had already read and reviewed other books here but this one struck out. It has some information the others don't have, although at some point they all say the same thing. I think these books should focus more on the body-mind connection and not generalize so much. I.e.: What does it mean when a combination of eye twitching/hand raising/foot stomp occurs?

Overall a good book.

[Mac · Rating 4 out of 5]

In order to read people accurately, a lot of times it's not what they say, but how they say it. A person could say "I love you" with the tone of a voice of a preacher praying in a church, whereas the other person might say the exact same thing with a totally different result from the receiver. This book lets the readers understand a deeper depth of the human mind by making them more aware of the signals sent through the recipient's body. Every little movement means something, and usually they matter more than words, influencing the rapport of the individuals involved.

[Semiophrenic · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very easy to read: a good amount of illustrations and passages are calculated to end where pages end. Also easy to read because most of it is just paraphrasing of earlier popular books on body language. In fact most popular books on body language are based mostly on other popular books on body language. This author is most notable for having her own mnemonic system: "The Five C's of Body Language" consist of context, clusters, congruence, consistency and culture.

[VeeDawn · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was interesting to read this book. It was our book club selection for the month. I find myself watching people's body language now. I am always wondering if there is more to what they are feeling than what their body language shows. Maybe they are folding their arms because they are cold rather than closed off. Maybe they are being reverent!

[AJ Conroy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Disappointing. Little to no insight that couldn't be had from reading an About.com article. Did you know that crossing one's arms conveys hostility? Really?? Reads too much like a powerpoint presentation with just that much depth.

[Chana · Rating 3 out of 5]

Informative and interesting, written simply with plenty of photos for examples and cartoons to keep you laughing. I enjoyed it and learned quite a bit as well.

[Emma Pincay]

Red through it quick but it was very basic.

[Eric Anest · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not a bad book, but nothing I haven't read elsewhere. If I owned it (I borrowed this copy from the library), I'm sure I would refer to it occasionally.

[Mubarak]

g

[Faisal Asiri · Rating 5 out of 5]

كتاب رائع ولكن من لم يقرأ في لغة الجسد من قبل انصحه بقراءة المرجع الاكيد في لغة الجسد لآلان وباربرا بيز حيث ان هذا الكتاب يقتبس منه بعض الايماءات

[Awad · Rating 3 out of 5]

شون اقرأ من البرنامج

[Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

Eccezionale 10

[Doaa · Rating 2 out of 5]

i didn't like this book =(

[Othman AlMutairi · Rating 4 out of 5]

very illustrative and very amusing in its description absolutely one of the best.