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Life Lessons: Two Experts on Death and Dying Teach Us About the Mysteries of Life and Living
Ten years after Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s “An inspiring…guide to life, distilled from the experiences of people who face death” ( Kirkus Reviews )—the beloved classic now with a new introduction and updated resources section.
Is this really how I want to live my life?
Each one of us at some point asks this question. The tragedy is not that life is short but that we often see only in hindsight what really matters.
In this, her first book on life and living, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross joins with David Kessler to guide us through the practical and spiritual lessons we need to learn so that we can live life to its fullest in every moment. Many years of working with the dying have shown the authors that certain lessons come up over and over again. Some of these lessons are enormously difficult to master, but even the attempts to understand them can be deeply rewarding. Here, in fourteen accessible chapters, from the Lesson of Love to the Lesson of Happiness, the authors reveal the truth about our fears, our hopes, our relationships, and, above all, about the grandness of who we really are.
Is this really how I want to live my life?
Each one of us at some point asks this question. The tragedy is not that life is short but that we often see only in hindsight what really matters.
In this, her first book on life and living, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross joins with David Kessler to guide us through the practical and spiritual lessons we need to learn so that we can live life to its fullest in every moment. Many years of working with the dying have shown the authors that certain lessons come up over and over again. Some of these lessons are enormously difficult to master, but even the attempts to understand them can be deeply rewarding. Here, in fourteen accessible chapters, from the Lesson of Love to the Lesson of Happiness, the authors reveal the truth about our fears, our hopes, our relationships, and, above all, about the grandness of who we really are.
224 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1972
603 people are currently reading
7149 people want to read
About the author
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
130 books1,706 followersElisabeth Kübler-Ross was a Swiss-American psychiatrist, a pioneer in near-death studies, and author of the internationally best-selling book, On Death and Dying (1969), where she first discussed her theory of the five stages of grief, also known as the "Kübler-Ross model".
Kübler-Ross was a 2007 inductee into the National Women's Hall of Fame, was named by Time as one of the "100 Most Important Thinkers" of the 20th century and was the recipient of twenty honorary degrees. By July 1982, Kübler-Ross had taught 125,000 students in death and dying courses in colleges, seminaries, medical schools, hospitals, and social-work institutions. In 1970, she delivered an Ingersoll Lecture at Harvard University on the theme On Death and Dying. The New York Public Library also named, "On Death & Dying" as one of the "Library's Books of the Century."
Kübler-Ross was a 2007 inductee into the National Women's Hall of Fame, was named by Time as one of the "100 Most Important Thinkers" of the 20th century and was the recipient of twenty honorary degrees. By July 1982, Kübler-Ross had taught 125,000 students in death and dying courses in colleges, seminaries, medical schools, hospitals, and social-work institutions. In 1970, she delivered an Ingersoll Lecture at Harvard University on the theme On Death and Dying. The New York Public Library also named, "On Death & Dying" as one of the "Library's Books of the Century."
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 329 reviews
August 9, 2018
One of the best non-fiction books I've read in a while.
Contains simple yet deep lessons we have to learn in our time. The main message is a well-known one, it is not tragic to die, it is tragic to never fully live, and to be dead inside while still living.
The chapters in here what to prevent living in an inauthentic way, without knowing yourself, with being what you truly are, or doing what you truly want, without finding the true meaning of your life. But, this is not a new age book, and nothing is sugar-coated. The book doesn't contain a special formula or way of thinking that will provide you with life without pain or sickness, but it does put a whole new perspective on suffering, one that can help you endure the storms that are a normal part of your life, accept what you can't change, and change what you can. I love the style of the book, the writing is simple, yet profound, and the lessons are interwind with author's personal stories about their patients, people they knew, themselves. It doesn't get boring or loses tempo for a second.
If you want to look back at the end and be satisfied with how you lived in any given circumstances, if you want to live to the fullest, if you what have no regrets, and be in peace with yourself and the people around you, if you always want to feel inner freedom and love, this is the book for you. I don't recommend this book just as a doctor working in palliative care, I recommend this book as a person and human being. Will re-read it in the future.
Contains simple yet deep lessons we have to learn in our time. The main message is a well-known one, it is not tragic to die, it is tragic to never fully live, and to be dead inside while still living.
The chapters in here what to prevent living in an inauthentic way, without knowing yourself, with being what you truly are, or doing what you truly want, without finding the true meaning of your life. But, this is not a new age book, and nothing is sugar-coated. The book doesn't contain a special formula or way of thinking that will provide you with life without pain or sickness, but it does put a whole new perspective on suffering, one that can help you endure the storms that are a normal part of your life, accept what you can't change, and change what you can. I love the style of the book, the writing is simple, yet profound, and the lessons are interwind with author's personal stories about their patients, people they knew, themselves. It doesn't get boring or loses tempo for a second.
If you want to look back at the end and be satisfied with how you lived in any given circumstances, if you want to live to the fullest, if you what have no regrets, and be in peace with yourself and the people around you, if you always want to feel inner freedom and love, this is the book for you. I don't recommend this book just as a doctor working in palliative care, I recommend this book as a person and human being. Will re-read it in the future.
July 15, 2016
I am troubled by this book. My biggest problem is that the foundation is that there is a God, and that everything will work out, and is supposed to. That philosophy I think can be quite dangerous, and can be an easy excuse for a lot of bad things. I find the advice to range for good to something I'd find at a 12 step meeting. I don't mean to insult 12 step meetings, but they are filled with average folk trying to do better, and there is a belief in collective wisdom, which isn't always justified. Many of the stories are quite touching. And, I think there is often contrary advice without trying to distinguish when each is appropriate. I am sorry to say I haven't found anything particularly profound or mysterious. Perhaps I am jaded, so others may find this book profound. I also really can't stand is trying to put meaning on the death of a child, I think it dishonors the dead child.
September 2, 2012
A friend of mine with cancer gave me this book, and it encompasses many of the things I've tried to learn from her. Some people don't get to the best part of their lives until the end, and the authors give us many anecdotes and insights about why that is. Sometimes hell is other people, and our perceptions, but this book shows that the opposite is also true.
July 7, 2022
I’ve never been inclined to pick up a self-help/spirituality book before, but Yoongi and Jungkook were seen reading this and the BTS boys never miss. This book could definitely be cheesy and trite at times, but this is the most I’ve ever bookmarked/marked up a book. The last paragraph put a lump in my throat. I’d recommend this book to really anyone as I think there's a lot to learn from this. Thank u BTS <3
November 23, 2021
After having a heart attack, a man tells us, “I realized it was not only my arteries that had hardened, I had hardened”. This is the quality of writing you can expect from this book, a Chicken Soup for the Soul knock-off with just as much god jammed in.
I wish books like this came with a Maslow's hierarchy of needs printed on the back indicating which level you belong to so you would know if the authors were speaking to you. This is a book for 1. Those who believe in a higher power or divine purpose, 2. Those who have their basic economic needs met, and 3. Those who have a support system. This book does not acknowledge systems of oppression or inequality, the entire book revolves around doing a Jedi mind trick to make you think the realities of this world are trivial compared to your inner power and the power of god. I sincerely wish there wouldn’t be a single other book ever written telling the poor and suffering to be grateful for their lot, can we please start writing more books on how to overthrow our oppressors? Maybe that’s wouldn’t be as lucrative for the authors.
The book has no sources, it references no studies. The entire book is made up solely of the authors personal reflections on life and death, and anecdotes to support those statements. A lot of the ideas seem to be lazily borrowed from Buddhism and expressed as superficially as possible. And there are no lessons, literally there are no lessons. There are only stories, opinions expressed. How do you achieve authenticity? How do you overcome fear? How to live in the moment? How to embrace anger? Essentially, how do you internalize anything presented in the book? You won’t find that here. The authors are just telling you what’s important, it’s up to you to do the heavy lifting. Well gee, thanks, I didn’t know authenticity and living in the moment was important, so glad someone with an M.D. was around to point it out for me.
Going back to the economic insensitivity, the book has such gems like, “If you say you would steal, you probably fear that you don’t have enough”. The book literally regurgitates the tired line, “Money doesn’t buy happiness”. Haven’t we moved past this patronizing phrase? Money buys food, shelter, clothing, medical care, and education. Stop pretending it’s the money itself that matters, it’s life that matters. “Money is an experience. Different from but not better than any other experience”. This is a lie, and insulting to the reader. “Wealth and poverty are states of mind”. Stop telling the poor to be happy with their lot through mindfulness from the top of your ivory tower and start telling them to eat the damn rich.
No one whose ever been abused needs to reach the chapter on love. “Love is beyond behavior”. “When you feel unloved, it is not because you are not receiving love, it is because you are withholding love”. “If you love them in spit of what they did, you will see changes, you will see all the power of the universe unleashed”. They make a big case for unconditional love, which toxic people to not respond to. Given the rates of child abuse and domestic violence in most nations, this seems completely out of touch. Please, do not provide love to people who cannot accept it, who do not respect you. And don’t be afraid to cut off toxic family, another concept they visit in pointing out how great it is our family is harder to escape from because of the hard lessons we’re forced to deal with by keeping them in our lives. Although the book does later contradict it’s advice that unconditional love is the goal, because others are not expected to give it. “Let’s ask ourselves if we are giving as much love as we wish to get, or if we expect people to love us dearly even if we are not so lovable and giving”. Rules for thee, not for me. We’re actually told that basing love on how funny we are, or how we treat our children, is conditional love and therefor not real or complete love. Like Buddhist literature, this book blatantly says were are not our actions, and leave that statement without delving into why or what we really are. A person is absolutely a sum of their thoughts, feelings, and actions. What, exactly, are we basing our love on then? What then, are we are supposed to do to “be” loving if we cannot think, feel, or behave in a loving way?
The book says just once that you should not stay in an abusive relationship, but repeatedly extolls the virtues of suffering for character development. I lost count of how many times it does this. We’re told about a woman who was abused by her alcoholic father, then married an abusive alcoholic, and doing this allowed her to work through her childhood trauma. No, what it did was give her more trauma, which motivated her to seek help. Trauma is just trauma, it’s absolutely the healthy thing to do to take lessons from it, but this glorification of suffering, this idea that we lowly peons must think ourselves out of pain inflicted by others is gross. Any course in developmental psychology will tell you trauma has real and lasting effects, especially in the young. Look up toxic stress, or PTSD. Children with loving parents show us that love, that good experiences, can shape us just as much as suffering.
There are portions of the book that read like straight victim blaming. “All relationships are reciprocal, meaning that we mirror our relationship partners. Since like attracts like we attract what’s inside of us”. This is the quote that follows an entire paragraph about how we shouldn’t seek to change anyone because no one is broken, no one needs to change, we should accept people for who they are and in turn we will be accepted. The entire first chapter is about seeking authenticity through change, through changing the false ideas and expectations we have about who we are. The National Sexual Violence Resource Center cites that 51% of female rape victims are raped by their partners. That’s a lot of women “mirroring” rapists and a lot of rapists who don’t need to change. If only we could accept them for who they are!
The book encourages people to parse out whether or not a relationship is “right” for you (not whether it’s abusive or toxic), but doesn’t provide any details as to how (remember, there are no lessons in Life Lessons). If you’ve ever been in an abusive relationship, you know just how your sense of reality becomes warped by manipulation and gaslighting. Making blanket statements like these and leaving them completely unexamined, without addressing systemic abuse, is irresponsible.
Phrases like “the word of god” and “a holy child of god” appear throughout. In fact, there are no stories of the non-religious who find acceptance amidst a difficult death. The story of Margaret & Frank shows Margaret fearing an existence without her husband, but then right before death she says she has found comfort because she has been told she’s going to a place where Frank already exists, and we are then encouraged to rethink our concept of time, which is an illusion anyway, to essentially encompass other dimensions. Troy & Jackie is another story, where at the moment of death Jackie accepts there will be an “other side” at Troy’s urging.
This is a religious book. If you are not religious, it is not geared towards you. The chapter on patience puts it bluntly, “The key to patience is knowing that everything is going to be fine, developing the faith that there is a plan”. First, that’s not the key to patience. You don’t need to tie the value of the virtue to a higher power, our lack of control does not mean someone else is in control. The entire book pushes this agenda, and maybe that’s why there are no instructions or exercises, because we’re not really meant to change, to alter our world. Everything is as it should be, because god made it so. So enjoy your painful death in the squalor that society has abandoned you to. Cheers.
I wish books like this came with a Maslow's hierarchy of needs printed on the back indicating which level you belong to so you would know if the authors were speaking to you. This is a book for 1. Those who believe in a higher power or divine purpose, 2. Those who have their basic economic needs met, and 3. Those who have a support system. This book does not acknowledge systems of oppression or inequality, the entire book revolves around doing a Jedi mind trick to make you think the realities of this world are trivial compared to your inner power and the power of god. I sincerely wish there wouldn’t be a single other book ever written telling the poor and suffering to be grateful for their lot, can we please start writing more books on how to overthrow our oppressors? Maybe that’s wouldn’t be as lucrative for the authors.
The book has no sources, it references no studies. The entire book is made up solely of the authors personal reflections on life and death, and anecdotes to support those statements. A lot of the ideas seem to be lazily borrowed from Buddhism and expressed as superficially as possible. And there are no lessons, literally there are no lessons. There are only stories, opinions expressed. How do you achieve authenticity? How do you overcome fear? How to live in the moment? How to embrace anger? Essentially, how do you internalize anything presented in the book? You won’t find that here. The authors are just telling you what’s important, it’s up to you to do the heavy lifting. Well gee, thanks, I didn’t know authenticity and living in the moment was important, so glad someone with an M.D. was around to point it out for me.
Going back to the economic insensitivity, the book has such gems like, “If you say you would steal, you probably fear that you don’t have enough”. The book literally regurgitates the tired line, “Money doesn’t buy happiness”. Haven’t we moved past this patronizing phrase? Money buys food, shelter, clothing, medical care, and education. Stop pretending it’s the money itself that matters, it’s life that matters. “Money is an experience. Different from but not better than any other experience”. This is a lie, and insulting to the reader. “Wealth and poverty are states of mind”. Stop telling the poor to be happy with their lot through mindfulness from the top of your ivory tower and start telling them to eat the damn rich.
No one whose ever been abused needs to reach the chapter on love. “Love is beyond behavior”. “When you feel unloved, it is not because you are not receiving love, it is because you are withholding love”. “If you love them in spit of what they did, you will see changes, you will see all the power of the universe unleashed”. They make a big case for unconditional love, which toxic people to not respond to. Given the rates of child abuse and domestic violence in most nations, this seems completely out of touch. Please, do not provide love to people who cannot accept it, who do not respect you. And don’t be afraid to cut off toxic family, another concept they visit in pointing out how great it is our family is harder to escape from because of the hard lessons we’re forced to deal with by keeping them in our lives. Although the book does later contradict it’s advice that unconditional love is the goal, because others are not expected to give it. “Let’s ask ourselves if we are giving as much love as we wish to get, or if we expect people to love us dearly even if we are not so lovable and giving”. Rules for thee, not for me. We’re actually told that basing love on how funny we are, or how we treat our children, is conditional love and therefor not real or complete love. Like Buddhist literature, this book blatantly says were are not our actions, and leave that statement without delving into why or what we really are. A person is absolutely a sum of their thoughts, feelings, and actions. What, exactly, are we basing our love on then? What then, are we are supposed to do to “be” loving if we cannot think, feel, or behave in a loving way?
The book says just once that you should not stay in an abusive relationship, but repeatedly extolls the virtues of suffering for character development. I lost count of how many times it does this. We’re told about a woman who was abused by her alcoholic father, then married an abusive alcoholic, and doing this allowed her to work through her childhood trauma. No, what it did was give her more trauma, which motivated her to seek help. Trauma is just trauma, it’s absolutely the healthy thing to do to take lessons from it, but this glorification of suffering, this idea that we lowly peons must think ourselves out of pain inflicted by others is gross. Any course in developmental psychology will tell you trauma has real and lasting effects, especially in the young. Look up toxic stress, or PTSD. Children with loving parents show us that love, that good experiences, can shape us just as much as suffering.
There are portions of the book that read like straight victim blaming. “All relationships are reciprocal, meaning that we mirror our relationship partners. Since like attracts like we attract what’s inside of us”. This is the quote that follows an entire paragraph about how we shouldn’t seek to change anyone because no one is broken, no one needs to change, we should accept people for who they are and in turn we will be accepted. The entire first chapter is about seeking authenticity through change, through changing the false ideas and expectations we have about who we are. The National Sexual Violence Resource Center cites that 51% of female rape victims are raped by their partners. That’s a lot of women “mirroring” rapists and a lot of rapists who don’t need to change. If only we could accept them for who they are!
The book encourages people to parse out whether or not a relationship is “right” for you (not whether it’s abusive or toxic), but doesn’t provide any details as to how (remember, there are no lessons in Life Lessons). If you’ve ever been in an abusive relationship, you know just how your sense of reality becomes warped by manipulation and gaslighting. Making blanket statements like these and leaving them completely unexamined, without addressing systemic abuse, is irresponsible.
Phrases like “the word of god” and “a holy child of god” appear throughout. In fact, there are no stories of the non-religious who find acceptance amidst a difficult death. The story of Margaret & Frank shows Margaret fearing an existence without her husband, but then right before death she says she has found comfort because she has been told she’s going to a place where Frank already exists, and we are then encouraged to rethink our concept of time, which is an illusion anyway, to essentially encompass other dimensions. Troy & Jackie is another story, where at the moment of death Jackie accepts there will be an “other side” at Troy’s urging.
This is a religious book. If you are not religious, it is not geared towards you. The chapter on patience puts it bluntly, “The key to patience is knowing that everything is going to be fine, developing the faith that there is a plan”. First, that’s not the key to patience. You don’t need to tie the value of the virtue to a higher power, our lack of control does not mean someone else is in control. The entire book pushes this agenda, and maybe that’s why there are no instructions or exercises, because we’re not really meant to change, to alter our world. Everything is as it should be, because god made it so. So enjoy your painful death in the squalor that society has abandoned you to. Cheers.
August 22, 2012
This book has changed my life! No other book has had such a profound effect on me. All of life's most important lessons are explained and validated by personal experiences of the authors or others.
November 13, 2022
Apakah kalian Army? Buku ini dibaca oleh Yoongi dan Jungkook member BTS loh.. 👀
Life Lessons ini buku nonfiksi - self improvement. Jadi penulisnya mewawancari orang-orang yang berada di ambang kematian. Dari pengalaman mereka itu kita bisa belajar banyak hal tentang kehidupan seperti cinta, kehilangan, kekuatan, rasa bersalah, amarah dll.
Buku ini dibagi ke dalam 14 bab. Setiap babnya membantu aku dalam berpikir lagi mengenai hal-hal tertentu mengenai kehidupan.
Aku juga belajar banyak banget dari buku ini, yang bikin ngena karena di tiap bab ada pengalaman dari orang-orang yang udah di ambang kematian mengenai topik itu.
Gimana ternyata dipenghujung hidup banyak hal-hal yang disesali dan berharap waktu masih sehat/muda dulu bisa berpikir/melakukan hal yang nggak dilakukan.
Nyampe banyak banget hal yang aku tandai di buku ini. Kalau suatu hari nanti aku lagi down atau ngerasa butuh diingatkan kembali, tinggal buka lagi buku ini aja sesuai topik yang cocok. 🤧
Aku belum banyak baca buku self improvement, tapi menurut aku ini termasuk yang paket komplit sih karena nggak fokus di satu topik aja. Makanya aku suka bangeet.
Kalau misalkan kalian memang lagi butuh buku self improvement aku rekomendasikan buku ini buat kalian baca!
Biar kalian yakin cocok atau nggak sama bukunya, cek aja kutipan-kutipan yang aku bagikan di postingan ini https://www.instagram.com/p/Ca9mg8UrGwm/
Aku kasih liat juga 14 bab tuh tentang apa aja.
Life Lessons ini buku nonfiksi - self improvement. Jadi penulisnya mewawancari orang-orang yang berada di ambang kematian. Dari pengalaman mereka itu kita bisa belajar banyak hal tentang kehidupan seperti cinta, kehilangan, kekuatan, rasa bersalah, amarah dll.
Buku ini dibagi ke dalam 14 bab. Setiap babnya membantu aku dalam berpikir lagi mengenai hal-hal tertentu mengenai kehidupan.
Aku juga belajar banyak banget dari buku ini, yang bikin ngena karena di tiap bab ada pengalaman dari orang-orang yang udah di ambang kematian mengenai topik itu.
Gimana ternyata dipenghujung hidup banyak hal-hal yang disesali dan berharap waktu masih sehat/muda dulu bisa berpikir/melakukan hal yang nggak dilakukan.
Nyampe banyak banget hal yang aku tandai di buku ini. Kalau suatu hari nanti aku lagi down atau ngerasa butuh diingatkan kembali, tinggal buka lagi buku ini aja sesuai topik yang cocok. 🤧
Aku belum banyak baca buku self improvement, tapi menurut aku ini termasuk yang paket komplit sih karena nggak fokus di satu topik aja. Makanya aku suka bangeet.
Kalau misalkan kalian memang lagi butuh buku self improvement aku rekomendasikan buku ini buat kalian baca!
Biar kalian yakin cocok atau nggak sama bukunya, cek aja kutipan-kutipan yang aku bagikan di postingan ini https://www.instagram.com/p/Ca9mg8UrGwm/
Aku kasih liat juga 14 bab tuh tentang apa aja.
December 1, 2011
This is the first book written by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross that I read, and I am delighted with it. I enjoyed every bit of it. The book is also written by David Kessler, and both give us a beautiful lecture about life. I honestly think that not many of us find true joy in living and life itself. We torment ourselves with trivial everyday's stuff but miss the big picture altogether. And if anyone understands what life is all about its the dying. They know there is no more time left to waste and they trully find peace and happiness in their lasting time here. Through lots of anecdotes with their patients they share with us they remind us how to handle loss,, anger, fear, etc. They also give us a good lesson in relationships, love, happiness, and forgiveness among other aspects of life. Basically life is the school and those are the lessons we are here to learn and master. And above all we should always strive to find happinness, which is never found in the outside world or our circumstances, it's something that we can find within all the time. Definitely a good read.
January 28, 2024
this is a book that suga from BTS quotes from time to time, so it only made sense to follow in his footsteps and pick this up for myself. i'd known kubler-ross was the famed psychiatrist behind the 5 stages of grief (aka the kubler-ross model) so i'd always wanted to learn more about her, and this book provided the perfect opportunity to do so.
in researching how she came to write this particular book, i found that she began writing life lessons shortly after suffering multiple strokes, which left her partially paralyzed and reliant on a wheelchair. ultimately, this book came to fruition shortly before her death...and in writing this book, she and david kessler (the other author & elisabeth's dear friend) had hoped to put to writing the 14 lessons they'd learned over their careers of treating dying patients.
ultimately, i feel that i found the book at the right time in my life, when i'd needed to hear these words and feel comforted, no matter how trite the message. while the lessons are rather simple, they are powerful, and fortified by short personal stories of patients or friends of the authors. i can really feel how much the authors really believe we are all capable of living fulfilling lives, and it feels as though i'm being supported by a close friend. while i've never been one for "self-helpy" books, this is one that i hope to revisit throughout my life, when i need a gentle judge in the right direction.
If you dance at a lot of weddings, you'll cry at a lot of funerals. This means if you're present at many beginnings, you'll also be there for many endings. If you have many friends, you'll experience your share of losses. If you feel that you're suffering great loss, it's only because you have been so richly blessed by life.
We have been given all we need to have a fulfilling, meaningful, and happy experience of life. We just don't recognize our own gifts, or goodness.
in researching how she came to write this particular book, i found that she began writing life lessons shortly after suffering multiple strokes, which left her partially paralyzed and reliant on a wheelchair. ultimately, this book came to fruition shortly before her death...and in writing this book, she and david kessler (the other author & elisabeth's dear friend) had hoped to put to writing the 14 lessons they'd learned over their careers of treating dying patients.
ultimately, i feel that i found the book at the right time in my life, when i'd needed to hear these words and feel comforted, no matter how trite the message. while the lessons are rather simple, they are powerful, and fortified by short personal stories of patients or friends of the authors. i can really feel how much the authors really believe we are all capable of living fulfilling lives, and it feels as though i'm being supported by a close friend. while i've never been one for "self-helpy" books, this is one that i hope to revisit throughout my life, when i need a gentle judge in the right direction.
If you dance at a lot of weddings, you'll cry at a lot of funerals. This means if you're present at many beginnings, you'll also be there for many endings. If you have many friends, you'll experience your share of losses. If you feel that you're suffering great loss, it's only because you have been so richly blessed by life.
We have been given all we need to have a fulfilling, meaningful, and happy experience of life. We just don't recognize our own gifts, or goodness.
March 2, 2012
Easily the best non-fiction book I have ever read. I did the first read through without skipping around or skimming. Just like a chapter book, page by page. I have no doubt I will read this book a number of times as it is a book not to be read so much as studied, committed to memory and applied. I have a hard copy that I'll soon attack with my highlighters and I plan to purchase a digital copy as well. Can't say enough positive things about this work. It quite literally changed my life when it gave me the information I desperately needed to make peace with my oldest son's very sudden and unexpected death from pulmonary embolism at the age of 28. It also gave me the knowledge that all is as it should be, so that I may let him go, while still looking forward to the time when we will be together again. This book is a gift! Treasure it!!
April 14, 2022
what a very intriguing book. i couldn’t stop reading it.
this self-help book is so real. it opens your eyes on topics you aware of but never really put much thought into.
wonderful book and definitely recommended!
this self-help book is so real. it opens your eyes on topics you aware of but never really put much thought into.
wonderful book and definitely recommended!
July 3, 2020
was actually expecting a bit more than this
i felt extremely lukewarm towards this book from the moment i read the authors' note until the end.
this book is probably more suitable to people who are actually dying, as the authors' attitude towards the reader is a bit too "warm" in my opinion
i don't think i have learnt anything new about the "mysteries" of life and living from this book, most of the topics have been covered in spiritual/religious blogs, magazines, books and other reading materials. (the religious tone in this book puts me off, but i guess this is a matter of personal preference)
despite that, this book has reminded me of some of my own emotions and attitude towards other people. i had an argument with my mother while reading the lesson covering anger, the authors reminded me that my mother was mad because i made her hurt and afraid. those words diffused my anger and i was able to reflect on my own actions that caused her distress.
but aside from that and a couple of quotes, there wasn't much i can gain from this book.
i felt extremely lukewarm towards this book from the moment i read the authors' note until the end.
this book is probably more suitable to people who are actually dying, as the authors' attitude towards the reader is a bit too "warm" in my opinion
i don't think i have learnt anything new about the "mysteries" of life and living from this book, most of the topics have been covered in spiritual/religious blogs, magazines, books and other reading materials. (the religious tone in this book puts me off, but i guess this is a matter of personal preference)
despite that, this book has reminded me of some of my own emotions and attitude towards other people. i had an argument with my mother while reading the lesson covering anger, the authors reminded me that my mother was mad because i made her hurt and afraid. those words diffused my anger and i was able to reflect on my own actions that caused her distress.
but aside from that and a couple of quotes, there wasn't much i can gain from this book.
November 18, 2016
Las lecciones de vida que nos muestras Elisabeth y David creo que a todos nos pueden ayduar en cierto momento.
Pero me pareció muy repetido todo, no tengo nada en contra de los libros motivacionales, pero este me pareció eterno...
Pero me pareció muy repetido todo, no tengo nada en contra de los libros motivacionales, pero este me pareció eterno...
July 29, 2018
This was a book club selection that was a combination of new age psycho babble and some really simple advice. Readers just have to figure out what's what and how to apply it. There are better books out there like Being Mortal and many devotionals.
October 7, 2017
A beautiful book with interesting insights. Nothing unforeseen, but good reminders about what it really means to live a full and meaningful life with no regrets.
July 28, 2019
too religious and a bit too preachy of bullshit sometimes but it collects some interesting stories and experiences from the authors.
April 1, 2025
Elisabeth Kübler-Rossin ja David Kesslerin yhdessä kirjoittama ja Tiina Wikströmin oivallisesti suomentama teos ”Elä tässä ja nyt” sopii jokaiselle jonkinlaiseksi toimintaoppaaksi, jos oma kompassi tuntuu sojottava sinne tänne. Yksi kirjan tavoitteista on rohkaista lukijaa etsimään sisäisiä voimavarojaan ja miksei rajojakin saavuttaakseen tunteen, että maailma on hänelle tarpeeksi.
Kübler-Ross tunnetaan uraauurtavasta tutkimuksesta ja vuorovaikutuksen kehittämisestä kuolevien ihmisten parissa. Tämä teos on lukemistani ehkäpä henkilökohtaisin, sillä kirjoittaja sai pahan halvauksen ja oli pitkään siinä uskossa, että hänen päivänsä olivat luetut. Näin ei kuitenkaan ollutkaan, vaan neljässätoista luvussa pureudutaan ihmisyyden perusolemukseen ja sellaiseen liitettyihin määritelmiin kuten aitouteen, rakkauteen, syyllisyyteen ja lopulta onnellisuuteen.
Moni kuluttaakin koko elämänsä yrittäessään määritellä, kuka minä oikein olen. Äiti Teresaa lainataan osuvasti, kun pohditaan, että elämä itsessään on jo saavutus (minkä jokainen vanhempi lienee oivaltanut) ja kuolema on elämän luonnollinen päätepiste. Erilaisia läksyjä annetaan milloin miltäkin taholta, ja kehittymiseen vaaditaan monenlaisten oppirahojen maksamista, jos on halua pohtia, mitä niin sanotusti pinnan alla piilee ja millainen voisikaan olla se todellinen minuus, joka on muuttumaton.
Ihmissuhteisiin riittää myös vinkkejä, ja sairasvuoteellaan Kübler-Ross tuntuu tajunneen, että kiintymyssuhteiden tulee kummuta omasta itsestä eikä ulkoisista vaatimuksista tai ulkoa opittua ihanteista. Kokonaisuuden ja eheyden tavoittelussa ihmissuhteissa vastavuoroisuus on olennainen elementti, ja siinä vaiheessa, kun ystävä- tai rakkaussuhde on tullut valmiiksi eli päätepisteeseensä, voikin hyvillä mielen nostaa kytkintä eikä olla kenenkään riippakivenä tai tunkiona, jolle murheet syydetään.
Välillä kirjoittajat luovat katseensa lapsuuteen ja sellaisiin vaikutteisiin ja toimintamalleihin, joita noudatamme tiedostomatta aikuistuttuammekin. Esimerkiksi alistuva käyttäytyminen ja muiden miellyttäminen opitaan jo varhaislapsuudessa ja viimeistään koulun penkillä. Muiden miellyttäminen aiheuttaa helposti selittämätöntä ahdistusta ja pahaa oloa yrittäessämme karistaa ylimääräistä kiltteyttä ja nöyryyden manttelia harteiltamme. Pelko toimiikin usein alitajuisena varoitusmekanismina, ja kannattaa jälleen ottaa oman elämänsä valinnat omiin käsiin niin ystävien, työn ja kumppanienkin suhteen. Kübler-Ross lohduttaakin, että kun pääsee peloistaan, löytää uuden elämän. Jos ei uskalla tarttua unelmiinsa ja elää omaa elämäänsä, ei se ole oikeaa elämää ollenkaan.
Suuttumus ja viha sen sijaan kertovat enemmän sen kokijasta kuin kohteesta. Usein pelko voi johtaa vihaan, ja kun se kohdistuu omaan itseen, se muuttuu usein masennukseksi, jota voi edeltää näköalattomuus ja toivottomuus. Tietynlainen fatalismikin voi johtaa masennukseen, kun ajatellaan, ettei itse voi vaikuttaa omaan onnellisuuteensa, ja kuvitellaan vain, että elämä on elettävä sellaisena kuin se meille annetaan. Toisaalta aina on hyvä tarttua tarjolla oleviin mahdollisuuksiin positiivisin mielin ja antaa elämän tapahtua omalla painollaan.
Aina passiivisuuskaan ei ole heikkoutta, vaan kärsivällisyyttä tarvitaan, kun oma elämä etsiytyy omiin uomiinsa tai henkisen kehityksen poluille. Tuleehan latinan sanasta pati (’kärsiä’ ja ’sietää’) englantilainen sana patient ja siitä on johdettu myös kärsivällisyys. Sellaistahan tarvitaan, kun ollaan vuoteenomana ja ehkä ikääntymisen myötä entistä kaventuville mahdollisuuksille antautumista elämälle sellaisin mahdollisuuksin, kuin sillä on meille tarjota.
Lopulta lukuisten haastatteluiden ja itsetutkiskelun jälkeen kirjoittajat päätyvät teoksessaan anteeksiantoon ja onnellisuuteen. Ennen kaikkea meidän tulisi antaa anteeksi itsellemme, sillä kuuluvathan virheet elämään, eikä kukaan virheettömään elämään kykenekään. Tällaisen oivaltaminen on keskeistä kirjan kirjoittajien mielestä, ja he ovat panneet merkille, että itsekkyys johtaa helposti onnettomuuteen, kun taasen epäitsekkäillä ihmisillä on paremmat taipumukset henkilökohtaiseen ja vastavuoroiseen onnellisuuteen. Todellinen autuus olisi silloin vapautumista muiden harhoista, eikä se ole seurausta ulkoisista tapahtumista ja olosuhteista, vaan se on mielentila, asenne ja suhtautumistapa ylipäätään elämään.
Kübler-Ross tunnetaan uraauurtavasta tutkimuksesta ja vuorovaikutuksen kehittämisestä kuolevien ihmisten parissa. Tämä teos on lukemistani ehkäpä henkilökohtaisin, sillä kirjoittaja sai pahan halvauksen ja oli pitkään siinä uskossa, että hänen päivänsä olivat luetut. Näin ei kuitenkaan ollutkaan, vaan neljässätoista luvussa pureudutaan ihmisyyden perusolemukseen ja sellaiseen liitettyihin määritelmiin kuten aitouteen, rakkauteen, syyllisyyteen ja lopulta onnellisuuteen.
Moni kuluttaakin koko elämänsä yrittäessään määritellä, kuka minä oikein olen. Äiti Teresaa lainataan osuvasti, kun pohditaan, että elämä itsessään on jo saavutus (minkä jokainen vanhempi lienee oivaltanut) ja kuolema on elämän luonnollinen päätepiste. Erilaisia läksyjä annetaan milloin miltäkin taholta, ja kehittymiseen vaaditaan monenlaisten oppirahojen maksamista, jos on halua pohtia, mitä niin sanotusti pinnan alla piilee ja millainen voisikaan olla se todellinen minuus, joka on muuttumaton.
Ihmissuhteisiin riittää myös vinkkejä, ja sairasvuoteellaan Kübler-Ross tuntuu tajunneen, että kiintymyssuhteiden tulee kummuta omasta itsestä eikä ulkoisista vaatimuksista tai ulkoa opittua ihanteista. Kokonaisuuden ja eheyden tavoittelussa ihmissuhteissa vastavuoroisuus on olennainen elementti, ja siinä vaiheessa, kun ystävä- tai rakkaussuhde on tullut valmiiksi eli päätepisteeseensä, voikin hyvillä mielen nostaa kytkintä eikä olla kenenkään riippakivenä tai tunkiona, jolle murheet syydetään.
Välillä kirjoittajat luovat katseensa lapsuuteen ja sellaisiin vaikutteisiin ja toimintamalleihin, joita noudatamme tiedostomatta aikuistuttuammekin. Esimerkiksi alistuva käyttäytyminen ja muiden miellyttäminen opitaan jo varhaislapsuudessa ja viimeistään koulun penkillä. Muiden miellyttäminen aiheuttaa helposti selittämätöntä ahdistusta ja pahaa oloa yrittäessämme karistaa ylimääräistä kiltteyttä ja nöyryyden manttelia harteiltamme. Pelko toimiikin usein alitajuisena varoitusmekanismina, ja kannattaa jälleen ottaa oman elämänsä valinnat omiin käsiin niin ystävien, työn ja kumppanienkin suhteen. Kübler-Ross lohduttaakin, että kun pääsee peloistaan, löytää uuden elämän. Jos ei uskalla tarttua unelmiinsa ja elää omaa elämäänsä, ei se ole oikeaa elämää ollenkaan.
Suuttumus ja viha sen sijaan kertovat enemmän sen kokijasta kuin kohteesta. Usein pelko voi johtaa vihaan, ja kun se kohdistuu omaan itseen, se muuttuu usein masennukseksi, jota voi edeltää näköalattomuus ja toivottomuus. Tietynlainen fatalismikin voi johtaa masennukseen, kun ajatellaan, ettei itse voi vaikuttaa omaan onnellisuuteensa, ja kuvitellaan vain, että elämä on elettävä sellaisena kuin se meille annetaan. Toisaalta aina on hyvä tarttua tarjolla oleviin mahdollisuuksiin positiivisin mielin ja antaa elämän tapahtua omalla painollaan.
Aina passiivisuuskaan ei ole heikkoutta, vaan kärsivällisyyttä tarvitaan, kun oma elämä etsiytyy omiin uomiinsa tai henkisen kehityksen poluille. Tuleehan latinan sanasta pati (’kärsiä’ ja ’sietää’) englantilainen sana patient ja siitä on johdettu myös kärsivällisyys. Sellaistahan tarvitaan, kun ollaan vuoteenomana ja ehkä ikääntymisen myötä entistä kaventuville mahdollisuuksille antautumista elämälle sellaisin mahdollisuuksin, kuin sillä on meille tarjota.
Lopulta lukuisten haastatteluiden ja itsetutkiskelun jälkeen kirjoittajat päätyvät teoksessaan anteeksiantoon ja onnellisuuteen. Ennen kaikkea meidän tulisi antaa anteeksi itsellemme, sillä kuuluvathan virheet elämään, eikä kukaan virheettömään elämään kykenekään. Tällaisen oivaltaminen on keskeistä kirjan kirjoittajien mielestä, ja he ovat panneet merkille, että itsekkyys johtaa helposti onnettomuuteen, kun taasen epäitsekkäillä ihmisillä on paremmat taipumukset henkilökohtaiseen ja vastavuoroiseen onnellisuuteen. Todellinen autuus olisi silloin vapautumista muiden harhoista, eikä se ole seurausta ulkoisista tapahtumista ja olosuhteista, vaan se on mielentila, asenne ja suhtautumistapa ylipäätään elämään.
August 26, 2022
It has been a legendary guide for a new life...
December 27, 2019
Tik patiesi un tik tukši visi šie grāmatas vārdi izklausās. Vai maz ir iespējams par nāvi pirms nāves kaut ko uzzināt? Vai ir iespējams pirms nomiršanas mirstošam līdzās būt? Nebaidīties? Šķiet neaptverami un tik pašsaprotami vienlaikus. Viena no pirmajām, pilnīgi noteikti ne pēdējām grāmatām par nāves tēmu. Ienākusi manā dzīvē. Jau kopš piedzimšanas brī��a? Cik eksistenciāli.
December 6, 2024
Este es un libro que me llegó por su significado personal, pero trata de varios testimonios de moribundos y agonizantes que dan las palabras de lo que aprendieron, con temas relacionados al amor, familia, felicidad, tristeza, autenticidad, sentido de la vida, entrega y renuncia, duelo, enfermedad...
Situaciones que todos podríamos estar viviendo en este momento y que, al recibir estas palabras, nos dan un consuelo significativo de lo que deberíamos aprender o dejar atrás, si queremos disfrutar de esos instantes efímeros de la existencia.
Otra característica es que lo escriben dos personas: Una es la pionera de la tanatología y el otro es su discípulo para que se conozca el corazón, si no eres en una verdadera comunidad.
Situaciones que todos podríamos estar viviendo en este momento y que, al recibir estas palabras, nos dan un consuelo significativo de lo que deberíamos aprender o dejar atrás, si queremos disfrutar de esos instantes efímeros de la existencia.
Otra característica es que lo escriben dos personas: Una es la pionera de la tanatología y el otro es su discípulo para que se conozca el corazón, si no eres en una verdadera comunidad.
April 20, 2022
Buku ini mengambil beberapa pengalaman dari orang-orang yang berada di waktu-waktu terakhir hidup mereka, ditulis oleh 2 orang, yang masing -masingnya merupakan dokter dan ahli psikolog, buku ini menunjukkan bukan hanya tentang pasien-pasien mereka tapi juga berdasarkan pengalaman mereka sendiri.
Mengingatkan kepada kita ada hal-hal yang sebaiknya menjadi titik fokus kita sebelum semuanya terlambat, perjalanan-perjalanan kehidupan yang begitu berharga dan kadang sering diremehkan oleh orang lain.
Recommend bagi kita semua yang masih dalam pencarian jati diri, masih hidup dengan penuh penyesalan, yang masih wondering tentang apakah kita sudah merasakan kebahagiaan atau belum
Mengingatkan kepada kita ada hal-hal yang sebaiknya menjadi titik fokus kita sebelum semuanya terlambat, perjalanan-perjalanan kehidupan yang begitu berharga dan kadang sering diremehkan oleh orang lain.
Recommend bagi kita semua yang masih dalam pencarian jati diri, masih hidup dengan penuh penyesalan, yang masih wondering tentang apakah kita sudah merasakan kebahagiaan atau belum
August 20, 2021
Konečně kniha z oblasti osobního rozvoje, která mi přišla fakt dobře napsaná a mající hlavu a patu. Je rozdělena na kapitoly, přičemž každá kapitola nám sděluje určitou lekci. Ať už jde o Lekci odpuštění, Lekci hry nebo třeba Lekci lásky. V každé kapitole se autoři střídají a tak nám umožňují nahlédnout na problémy ze dvou pohledů, které se ve finále skvěle doplňují.
Kniha mě zase určitým směrem posunula a spoustu věcí, které se mi v životě dějí, vysvětlila. Určitě doporučuju!
Kniha mě zase určitým směrem posunula a spoustu věcí, které se mi v životě dějí, vysvětlila. Určitě doporučuju!
September 16, 2022
Some of my Facebook friends must be on the verge of dying every time they post a status. The level of profundity is quite similar. If these are the life lessons to be learned from the dying then there's nothing to learn. I'd imagine any intelligent being bound by mortality mulls over and questions the same ideas and values constantly throughout their life.
September 28, 2022
감사합나다, 윤기씨 for this "book reco".
As with many books, it was a bit of a drag starting to read it. Initially, it felt like, "tell me something I don't know". But eventually, it turned to, "oh right. That makes sense", "Ahhh agree!!" and other similar thoughts. The short, real-life stories are very helpful to capture the specific life lesson for each chapter. I'm glad there were enough for each chapter. It just makes it easier grasping what the authors wanted to convey. Cause it's one thing to be told about what to do; it's another thing to hear it from the experiences of others.... well, and also a whole other thing when you experience it yourself.
Overall, I think this book is highly recommended. The chapters are divided per theme (Love, Play, Anger, Forgiveness, etc.). And I feel like it's easy to go back and re-read each chapter/topic, whenever one needs a reminder how to live life to its fullest in every moment.
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If you dance at a lot of weddings, you'll cry at a lot of funerals. This means if you're present at many beginnings, you'll also be there for many endings. If you have many friends, you'll experience your share of losses. If you feel that you're suffering great loss, it's only because you have been so richly blessed by life.
As with many books, it was a bit of a drag starting to read it. Initially, it felt like, "tell me something I don't know". But eventually, it turned to, "oh right. That makes sense", "Ahhh agree!!" and other similar thoughts. The short, real-life stories are very helpful to capture the specific life lesson for each chapter. I'm glad there were enough for each chapter. It just makes it easier grasping what the authors wanted to convey. Cause it's one thing to be told about what to do; it's another thing to hear it from the experiences of others.... well, and also a whole other thing when you experience it yourself.
Overall, I think this book is highly recommended. The chapters are divided per theme (Love, Play, Anger, Forgiveness, etc.). And I feel like it's easy to go back and re-read each chapter/topic, whenever one needs a reminder how to live life to its fullest in every moment.
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If you dance at a lot of weddings, you'll cry at a lot of funerals. This means if you're present at many beginnings, you'll also be there for many endings. If you have many friends, you'll experience your share of losses. If you feel that you're suffering great loss, it's only because you have been so richly blessed by life.
March 22, 2025
Kitap iki yazarı da ölüm ve yas konusunda uzun yıllar çalışmış iki uzman. Ölümlerinin son aşamasında insanların ruhsal ve duygusal ihtiyaçlarının karşılanmasına odaklanan bir sağlık bakım türünü geliştirmişler. Yaşamın birçok konuda zorlayıcı her başlığı için ayrı ayrı söz alıp kaleme dökmüş oldukları bu kitap bana çok iyi geldi. Mutluluğun kaybolan bir şey olmadığı, memnuniyet ve kabul ile birlikte hareket ettiğini, dünya ile uyum içinde olmak için birbirimizi ve öncelikle kendimizi nasıl iyi edebileceğimizi anlatmışlar... Verdikleri örnekler ölüme çok yakın insanlardan oluştuğu için okurken birçok kez kendi halimize şükreder buluyoruz. Nihai olarak affetmek, sevgiyi seçmek, kalbi rehber almak çok güzel anlatılmış ... Tavsiye edilesi bir kitap olmuş.
May 5, 2020
One of the best books I’ve ever read. I had the privilege of seeing David Kessler speak in person at an event a few years ago & had purchased the book at that time & just got around to reading it. I’m so glad I did. This book is told from the unique perspective of grief experts Elisabeth Kubler-Ross & David Kessler, outlining the 14 life lessons we can learn from those at the end of life. This book is all about how to live your best life possible while you’re still able. Very impactful book I will most likely revisit time & time again.
July 1, 2024
"When was the last time you really looked at the sea? Or smelled the morning? Touched a baby's hair? Really tasted and enjoyed food? Walked barefoot in the grass? Looked into the blue sky?...We all live under the stars, but do we look up at the sky? Do we really touch and taste life, do we see and feel the extraordinary, especially in the ordinary?"
This book is a useful guidebook for life. It is straight to the point, without a lot of useless fluff that some books of this type have. It is inspiring and made me feel peace about some of the decisions I've made in my life. Recommend.
This book is a useful guidebook for life. It is straight to the point, without a lot of useless fluff that some books of this type have. It is inspiring and made me feel peace about some of the decisions I've made in my life. Recommend.
Read
September 29, 2019I don’t think I was in the right mindset to read this. I may read it again at another time.
February 5, 2022
¡¡Realmente son grandes lecciones de vida!!
Al terminar el libro, pensaba, en que no nacemos completos, que completarse es formarse y con ello, entender cómo funciona la vida, una tarea nada fácil, pero la vida es lo que Tú decides que sea...una vez más puedo decir con certeza, que con todo lo que conlleva vivir, la Vida es Bella...siiii parece título de película 😅.
Al terminar el libro, pensaba, en que no nacemos completos, que completarse es formarse y con ello, entender cómo funciona la vida, una tarea nada fácil, pero la vida es lo que Tú decides que sea...una vez más puedo decir con certeza, que con todo lo que conlleva vivir, la Vida es Bella...siiii parece título de película 😅.
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