"Why didn't the computer go to the prom? She didn't have a data." (Eva Blank, Jokelopedia)
If your life is a joke, I think you will enjoy this book. These jokes are clean, so you should be able to get a clean-get-away with adding these to your communications. The book is ordered by topics, give some pointers for those who want to be funny, and spotlights comedians, sitcoms and funny writers who made a splash in the world of funny.
Some jokes I wrote down were:
Short Jokes
● Why wouldn't the pet store take back the chimp? They didn't offer a monkey-back guarantee.
● What happened when the pig couldn't get up from his fall? He called a ham-bulance.
● What kind of books do skunks read? Best-smellers.
● Why couldn't the frog find his car? It got toad away.
● Why are some school classes not very interesting? Because they were developed by the BORED of Education.
● Why did the student put on eyeliner and mascara in school? Because the teacher said she was giving the class a makeup exam.
● Why did the mother always put on a helmet before she used the computer? Because she was afraid it would crash!
● Why were there jumper cables hooked up to Betty's computer? She asked her dad to restart it.
● What did the chicken say to Arnold Schwarzenegger? "I'll be bock ... bock, bock."
● JUDGE: Order in the court!
DEFENDANT: I'll have a cheeseburger and fries, Your Honor.
● What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.
Longer Joke
● One night a police officer noticed a car that was traveling very slowly down the highway. When he pulled it over the driver asked, "What did I do wrong, officer?"
"You were going 26 miles per hour on a major highway. There is a law against that," the officer replied. "You have go at least 50 miles per hour."
"But when I merged onto the highway, the sign said 26!" explained the driver.
The officer laughed and said, "That's because 26 is the name of the highway, not the speed limit!"
The driver leaned back in her seat, baffled, and the officer noticed another woman, extremely pale, sitting beside her. "What happened to her?" asked the officer.
"I'm not sure, but she's been like that ever since we got off on Highway 160."
Knock Knock Jokes
● Knock, knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? Bless you!
● Knock, knock. Who's there? Doris. Doris who? Doris locked. That's why I knocked.
● Knock, knock. Who's there? Thor. Thor who? Thorry, wrong door.
● Knock, knock. Who's there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time for dinner!
Tongue Twisters (SAY THEM REALLY FAST!)
● A cheeky chipmunk chucked cheap chocolate chips in the cheap chocolate-chip store.
● I'm hooked on the book Brooke brought back from the Brookside bookstore.
● Kent sent Trent the rent to rent Trent's tent.
Some of these were like eating a clown, they tasted funny. Others are like listening to your doctors jokes; they can be used put you to sleep.