Warning: This review is full of spoilers and talks about some graphic content.
This could have been my new favorite book. For the first hundred or so pages I was utterly swept away. The writing style is exquisite, the attention to detail is staggering. I was fully prepared to buy this book and put it in a place of honor on my bookshelf.
Then I reached the midway point and everything changed – story wise, and content wise:
Story: I really felt like someone cut two books in half and pasted them together; the first half is completely different from the second half. Motivations changed, huge secrets were revealed that didn’t seem to have anything to do with the previous set up, and characters that were previously important faded to the background while other characters that were previously UNimportant suddenly received increased roles.
In the set up, we are presented with four intriguing women; Kiya, her friend, the Hebrew slave, Shira, Kiya’s enemy, Tekurah (her master’s wife) and Kiya’s mother, Nailah. We see the ten plagues in a new and powerful way – from the perspective of the Egyptians. We are in a wonderful closed door situation in the city of Iunu, an exotic place of intrigue.
But we leave all of this behind. There was too much exposition in the first half of the story. Iunu and the 10 plagues could have filled one book…a book that answered some of the questions this story presented…but never answered.
For instance. Kiya’s arc between Tekurah is never completed. After suffering horribly from Tekurah and finally confronting her, Tekurah simply disappears. Kiya leaves with the Hebrew during the Exodus and we never see Tekurah again… Tekurah was an extremely important role, but we have no idea what happened to her.
Shefu, Kiya’s master: After discovering that Shefu is actually her father (a plot twist that seemed unnecessary) Kiya immediately leaves Iunu….we never see Shefu again or reach a resolution in their relationship. We’re not even sure whether he lives or not, because he might (or might not have been) a firstborn son.
Nailah, Kiya’s mother. Nailah enters the story as a significant player around the mid way point, when Kiya discovers that Nailah had an affair with Shefu, resulting in her birth. A tumultuous relationship ensues between mother and daughter…Nailah suddenly intimates that she has become a Christian…and before the relationship can be fully resolved, Nailah is suddenly and conveniently killed.
Jumo, Kiya’s brother. Jumo suffers from a speech impediment and has difficulty walking, but is an incredibly talented artist, a loving brother and a sweet character. I was very unhappy when Jumo is miraculously healed at the end. I thought it would have been much more powerful if Jumo had had to continue trusting in Yahweh, despite his limitations. I felt cheated in this arc.
Akhum, Kiya’s former fiancé. When we first meet, Ahkum, seems like a nice enough fellow…I had even rather hoped he would come back as a believer in Yahweh. Akhum does come back, but he’s suddenly a lecherous villain who wants Kiya as a concubine…intimating that he never really loved her as a person, but was only interested in her for her beauty. That whole development seemed to come out of left field. Just saying this plot twist made sense…we never see Ahkum again…for being such an important character (Kiya’s fiancé), he has his opening scene, then the scene at the midpoint where he’s revealed to be a jerk…and then he disappears.
Sayaad, an Egyptian that flees during the Exodus: There are no surprises with Sayaad, we know he’s a jerk from the beginning…but he doesn’t seem to serve any purpose other than to be the villain that Eben can heroically defeat, thus impressing Kiya.
Shira, Kiya’s friend and a Hebrew slave. An intriguing and sweet friendship was developed initially between Shira and Kiya. Shira was Kiya’s first teacher about Yahweh and started her on her spiritual journey….but we never really saw any culmination to this relationship. By the midway point, Shira had become merely a device to bring Kiya and Shira’s brother—Eben—together.
Which brings me to Eben. Eben’s sole purpose in this story was to be Kiya’s romantic interest; he was never a fully developed character. Don’t misunderstand me, I would have liked to have seen (or at least seen a hint) that Kiya would start a family. But really this whole story was about was Kiya finding God. Her whole life is destroyed once she becomes a slave…can a foreign God save her? This arc could have been amazingly powerful, staggeringly beautiful…but because of Eben, her search for God fell flat. Kiya should have first discovered that God was the only man she needed, that he loved her, that she was completely fulfilled in God – THEN, she can find romance….having both happen simultaneously, really confused the issue…it made it seem like God wasn’t enough for her…like she needed a man to be happy. Plus, before this point, Kiya was an interesting character, strong, resilient, with a burgeoning kindness and nobility. Once Eben was introducing she just became a standard female lead. It was also frustrating that every man in this book (including Eben) seems attracted to her not because of her character, but because of her beauty.
What I would have liked to have seen happen in this book: The whole book would take place at Iunu…stretching out the plagues and the intrigue. I would have kept the tension between Kiya and her mother (though Shefu would not be her dad). After all, Nailah did stand by while Kiya was sold into slavery…so that would be tense, but I would bring some kind of resolution to their arc and not kill off Nailah.
Kiya would have finally reached some kind of stand off with Tekurah but thanks to some help from Shefu, her kindly master, reach some kind of resolution with her mistress before being set free.
At the very end of the book, Kiya would set out on the Exodus…the plagues have made her realize that Yahweh is the one true God, and she is putting her future in his hands. I would have made Ahkum a good guy and woven him into the story a little more. He would have also realized that Yahweh was the one true God and joined the Hebrews on the Exodus…hinting that he and Kiya will eventually marry. Shira would have served as Kiya’s sole instructor on the ways of Yahweh and Jumo would trust God in the midst of his limitations.
I would have made the main thrust of this book about Kiya’s search for God. The theme would be about fathers. Kiya’s stepfather sold her into slavery…but than Yahweh accepts speaks to her and she discovers that she is really and truly loved by God the Father.
I would have cut Eben entirely.
This was the book I wanted to read.
Content: Lots of bathing scenes, Shira and Kiya are constantly assisting Tekurah bath or dress. Kiya baths in the river and it is mentioned that she has no problem with public nudity (though she always baths privately – albeit with Shira). The Egyptian women’s sheer attire is mentioned. Ahkum is a lecherous jerk who wants Kiya as his concubine…it is intimated that he and Kiya were involved in pre martial intimacy (something that came out of left field and added nothing to the story). Shefu and Nailah had an affair and produced Kiya. It is mentioned briefly that Shira was ‘attacked’ at one point, thus she’s scared of men. Several mentions are made of Egyptian over seers violating Hebrew women. Sayaad has designs on Kiya and when he captures Kiya he drags her into a tent and though the word ‘rape’ is never used, its clear that’s what he plans to do. And then there’s Eben. By the time Kiya is falling for Eben, she is also starting to have faith in God…but her relationship with Eben never seems any more chaste than her relationship with Ahkum.
There is an embarrassing amount of romancing between Kiya and Eben…she is constantly thinking about his looks – in great detail. At one point, she and Eben spend a night in a cave. Though they remain sitting up, they fall asleep in one another’s arms…ironically in the middle of a conversation about how good Yahweh is, which seems hypocritical. Though she and Eben plan to follow Yahweh and enter into a Godly marriage…they seem to be attracted to one another solely on the basis of physical appearances.
I was shocked by the amount of content in this book. So much of this content was completely unnecessary and added nothing to what could have been, a good book. I wouldn’t recommend this book to a woman of any age…if you want, clean, well written Biblical fiction, read the Acts of Faith trilogy by Davis Bunn.
As I said, this could have been my new favorite… I am still struggling with the great disappointment that it wasn’t.