Breaking Down the Wall of Silence: The Liberating Experience of Facing Painful Truth

by Alice Miller, Simon Worrall (Translator)

Miller incorporates psychohistorical analyses of Hitler, Stalin, and Ceausescu to reveal the links between the horrors of their childhoods and the horrors they inflicted on the world. She pleads for an awareness of society's role in child abuse and for recognition of the victim.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Self Help, Personal Development, Politics, Counselling

186 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1991

About the author

Alice Miller was a Polish-Swiss psychologist, psychoanalyst and philosopher of Jewish origin, who is noted for her books on parental child abuse, translated into several languages. She was also a noted public intellectual.
Her book The Drama of the Gifted Child caused a sensation and became an international bestseller upon the English publication in 1981. Her views on the consequences of child abuse became highly influential. In her books she departed from psychoanalysis, charging it with being similar to the poisonous pedagogies.

Reviews

[Andrew Barnett · Rating 5 out of 5]

If everyone read this book, and took it seriously, we would be living in a more empathetic and dynamic world and be more connected to basic human emotional realities. Alice Miller is a godsend.

[Beth]

Alice Miller has some very strong opinions about what childhood trauma especiallly sexual trauma does to the child but also to the adult the child becomes. She is such an interesting person and her theories can be applied to other trauma's children go through from the loss of or abandonment by parents. I am still very interested in disconnected youth so I decided to get out my reading list and do some heavy summer reading as part of my continuing interest and research into the subject. I feel as a librarian and teacher it is important to understand psychological development and trauma. I would recommend to anyone interested in hearing what a very well eduicated and passionate child advocate has to say about what the experiences of our childhood do to our experiences and our personality as we grow and become adults.

[Viktória Bodnárová · Rating 5 out of 5]

This has become one of my favourite books. It provides a lot of insight into why some people cling to denial of reality so much. While the book is about childhood trauma and how society, some therapists, victims, and even abusers deal with denial, I think that Miller's reasoning in the book is also applicable when it comes to disinformation. It was a fascinating read, I recommend it to everyone, not only to those who are interested in psychology or childhood trauma but also to people who have difficulty understanding why people cling to misinformation and conspiracy theories.

[TasosBananasBOOKS · Rating 5 out of 5]

Σοκαριστικό, αληθινό, αποκαλυπτικό, ωμό, απελευθερωτικό, τρομακτικό

Αυτό και η "απαγορευμένη γνωση" είναι βιβλία σταθμοί. Οι πληροφορίες που εμπεριέχουν τα βιβλία είναι συγκλονιστικές. Μια φορά να διαβάσεις τα βιβλία αυτά, δεν μπορείς να γυρίσεις πίσω στην φωλιά σου. Και αν γυρίσεις, θα πληρώσεις το τίμημα της άρνησης και ο,τι αυτή συνεπάγεται.

[Ellie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This author is brilliant. Her analysis rings true.

[Ilze · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Untouched Key was more interesting.

[Dorothy Nesbit · Rating 4 out of 5]

Alice Miller's book, The Drama of the Gifted Child (later, The Drama of Being a Child), has become a classic in the field of child psychology and a gift to any adult struggling to come to terms with the traumas of their childhood. In writing it, Miller took on her profession, identifying child-rearing practices as abusive and laying out their consequences for individuals in their adult lives and for whole cultures.

As her thinking evolved, Miller understood and advocated for the healing of the wounded child in the adult body, continuing to lay out the impacts across whole societies when people who were brutalised in childhood become adults and step into positions of power. Her examples are very much of her era, including Hitler, Stalin, and Ceausescu. Contemporary examples are easy to find at the time I am writing this review.

It is easy now to see how much progress has been made in our understanding. This includes our understanding of the impacts on brain development of childhood abuse. Miller's messages about the impact on the body of ignoring inner messages precede van der Kolk's The Body Keeps the Score. Her messages about the importance of having at least one adult witness are consistent with Carl Rogers's teachings. The work of Jaak Panksepp, Robert Sapolsky, Steven Pinker, Stephen Porges and many others could sit comfortably alongside Miller's work. Writing in the 1980s and 1990s, Miller was far more lonely and this is reflected in the tone of her writing in this book, which is by turns passionate and despairing.

If we look at the wider arc of time, it is easy to see that adults alive today had parents brought up with parenting styles that are now deemed abusive. Whole family systems still beat to the drum of coercion and blame. We have come so far. We still have a long way to go. Whilst this book is largely an addendum to her previous body of work, it remains true that her work, including this slender volume, remains important.

[Offtheroad · Rating 4 out of 5]

Psikolojiye özellikle çocuk psikolojisine ilgi duyan herkesin Alice Miller okuması gerektiğini düşünüyorum. Kendisi herkes tarafından tartışılmadan kabul gören Freud, Jung ekolüne karşı çıktığı için 1988 yılında İsviçre ve uluslar arası psikiyatri derneğinden ayrılmış bir terapist. Binlerce yılık geçmişi olan çocuk istismarı suçunun “gelenek”, “olağanlık”, “senin iyiliğin için eğitim” gibi tehlikesizmiş gözüken etiketler altında kötülüğünü daha fazla sürdürmemesi için çaba sarf eden, bunun üzerine kitaplar yazan, akademik çalışmalar sürdüren bir kişi Alice Miller. Bu kitabında meşrulaştırılmış kötülüğün temeline inip toplumların nasıl bir Hitler, Çavuşesku ya da Stalin’i yarattığını ve milyonların bir akıl tutulması yaşayıp nasıl bu diktatörler peşinden sürüklenebildiğini anlatıyor. Dayak yemiş, hor görülmüş, sevilmemiş, istismara uğramış çocuklar, onların travmaları ve bu travmaların nasıl bir toplum yarattığı üzerine çok başarılı bir kitap bence.

Ama ne yazık ki kitapta çok basım hatası var. Alice Miller’ın daha önce 2 kitabını daha okumuştum. Bu kitap çeviri açısından en iyisi olsa da anlatım bozuklukları ya da anlam kaymaları var. Okurken anlamak için mücadele veriyor insan ara ara. Sanırım bundan sonraki kitaplarını orijinal dilinden yani direk Almancadan okuyacağım. O yüzden 5 üzerinden 4 hatta 3,5. Ama içerik 5 üzerinden 5.

[Looking-Glass Counselling · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read after reading The Drama of Being a Child, and it was good until it turned into a leftist political manifesto! As per, she makes numerous assumptions with nothing to back them up. The idea that a person with a hammer tends to see everything as a nail came to mind. She makes an important contribution, but should probably “stay in her lane”, as they say.

[Umut · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kitabın bahsettiği konular çok iyi olmasına çeviriyi başarısız buldum. Keşke çok daha iyi bir çeviri yapılsaydı. Google translate kullanılmış da bazı yerlerde düzeltme yapılmış bazı yerler düzeltme yapılmadan basıma verilmiş gibiydi. Matbaada basılıyor olsa dizgi hatası diyebileceğimiz şeyler, kelimeler arası boşluk bırakmama gibi hatalar oldukça fazlaydı. Ama herşeye rağmen önemli bir konu ve bu konu hakkında mutlaka okunulması gereken bir konu.

[Julia Wo · Rating 5 out of 5]

She talks about child abuse/maltreatment and has very strong opinions around that topic. So basically Miller claims that emotional damage (caused in childhood) promotes adult behavior harmful to individuals.
She tries to explain how Stalin, Hitler… have got their lust to murder innocent foreigner and maltreat soooo many people. She discusses the impact of poisonous pedagogy now and then.

[Murat Yeğin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Miller'ın daha önce okuduğum kitaplarından aşina olduğum fikirlerini barındıran, üstüne yeni şeyler eklenmiş güzel bir kitap olmuş. Çevirisi kötü olsa da vermek istediği mesaj gayet açık ve net. Son zamanlarda okuduğum en iyi kitaplardan biri kesinlikle.

[Flyingbroom · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very relevant, as usual for Alice Miller, but boy does she repeat herself!

[Raluca Butnaru · Rating 5 out of 5]

O carte despre psihotraumatizare și efectele sale sistemice și sociale.

[aslışah koçovalı · Rating 4 out of 5]

aslında çocuklardan ziyade ailelerin okuması gerekiyor bu kitabı ama bu toplumda nerdee

[Mskabatas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Çevirisinden dolayı biraz zorlandım. Daha iyi bir çeviri olabilirdi.

[Ecem Merdin · Rating 1 out of 5]

total disappointment: outdated content and poor translation.

[Panagiotl · Rating 5 out of 5]

I literally devoured this book in a day.
She feels like hope and truth.

[Agnieszka Dziakowska · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lektura na pewno otworzyła mi oczy na parę spraw, nawet jeżeli chodzi o kwestię "czarnej pedagogiki" w Biblii, mogę znaleźć sens i logikę z racji tego, że sama wcześniej uważałam to za bardzo skomplikowane doświadczenie do którego trzeba zdobyć się na całościowe wyparcie i wyzbycie się siebie lub za bardzo zawiłą filozofię o chwiejnych fundamentach. Koncepcja poznania siebie i nie wypierania swojej przeszłości brzmi interesująco ale to, na co zawsze zwracam uwagę czytając jej książki jest to, że nigdy nie mówi w jaki sposób można spróbować to osiągnąć.

[Simon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is Alice Miller at her pugnacious best. It's advisable to get the later edition with an updated preface. Miller didn't change her original text, but in the preface clearly places it in the historical context of the time it was first written and published. She notes that things have changes since then. Nonetheless, many of the lessons she imparts are still valid, albeit within the aforesaid historical context.

[David · Rating 1 out of 5]

I read the same nonsense at least 50 different times in the first 5 chapters which got old pretty quick. Eventually the author got to the point and described what she meant by "child abuse", which ended up being....yes, spanking. Apparently hitting your child on the butt to teach him/her a lesson is now considered "child abuse".

The painful truth: this book is pretty terrible.

[Allison Thurman]

Library

[Suzanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall, mind-expanding. I did get kind of stuck at the letter to Hitler, though.