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238 pages, Hardcover
First published July 3, 2008
So I can see what has shaped me; I can identify, fairly easily, those forces, images, and impressions toward which I was already disposed, and which have brought richness and complexity to my life, and have -- gradually, because I am a slow learner -- helped teach me things about natural processes, which have also been helpful in how I look at the rest of the world and my place and goals and manners in that world. Lessons such as the discovery that you can possess seemingly competing and even oppositional ideas, and discoveries such as the notion that you don’t have to be perfect in the world, just sensate and passionate, which is sometimes as challenging as perfection. Perfection -- in the biological sense -- has come slowly to all the other species that have been here so many millions of years longer than we have; how many millions more do we have to wait, and work, and yearn? Surely being sensate and passionate are the first two basic steps across those millions-of-years-yet-to-come. It will not come in this lifetime.
The next day, the world, and our youth, would open up all over again, with pretty much the same wonderful pacing, though with enough slightly different variations each day -- new things explored, or old favorites revisited -- to keep us in love with that world and, not least of all, each other. The days were like the fine beds of strata that form in perfect parallel, one thin day atop another, as if at the bottom of a still lake, and then one year after another.
I hear, and feel, that yearning to slow down and step back; and I do not know what to do except to keep doing both things, the thing and the shadow of the thing -- making the pretty little pictures and continuing also the slogging grunt-work of the hardcore activist -- until one day, I assume, nothing will be left.
It is a survival mechanism, entering this attenuated place of waiting where, after having dreamed the dream and assembled the parts, and assisted, with your noble compatriots, in designing a plan, and then presenting it to the world and lobbying for it -- beseeching, and fighting, and plotting, and beseeching again -- the point at which you realize that you have done all you can do, have given your best and most honest effort every day, and every night, and that not so suddenly, life has passed you by.
It is the crime of weariness, and possesses also the brittle self-righteousness of believing sometimes that your heart is purer or your manners nobler than those of your opponents: for in choosing not to fight any longer, to not lie down in the mud pit of small-town fears, and to begin to serve yourself rather than a Cause, or the mountains themselves, you cross I think some threshold of scorn and arrive in the place of I-just-don’t give-a-damn-anymore. (215)
so filled with a hate and a rage within that they must have a scapegoat, must hate another with that terrible blackness – the blackness of their hurt and outraged and stunted, tiny hearts, if they themselves are not to be crushed by it, the poison within. (147)Bass has his doubts, and wonders if it may have actually ended up better if he had never come to the valley at all, if he had kept silent. It is difficult – near impossible – to make progress toward achieving something that stands in the way of others getting every other possible something. It’s discouraging and tiring, trying to swim against the overwhelming current of consumerism and industrialization. And
[w]hat hope, really, you wonder some days, do we have of effecting any real positive change in the world, when in reality we’re so puny and fragile? (148)At the same time, Bass understands that no matter how ineffective, we must do something, anything, to buy at least a little more time. Regarding the momentousness of this present time and our vested responsibility, Bass writes:
I cannot shake the feeling that it is somehow we in this moment who possess a greater responsibility than all the sinners who preceded us – for never before have the imperfect been so charged with the clear knowledge of the consequences of those wrongs. (98)How long must we wait, remaining blind to the fact that we need nature, wilderness? But then again, do we all need wilderness? I may be speaking for only a minority. In A Sand County Almanac and Sketches Here and There Leopold opens with:
There are some who can live without wild things, and some who cannot…Now we face the question whether a still higher ‘standard of living’ is worth its cost in things natural, wild, and free…The whole conflict thus boils down to a question of degree. We of the minority see a law of diminishing returns in progress; our opponents do not. (vii)But don’t take Bass to be a staunch oppositionist to technological advancement. Bass is imperfect, and recognizes his own dependence on things like fossil fuels, his own unsustainable-ness. He is very aware of the current situation, and is a realist. For example, he is not against logging, which has been integral to the economy of Montana since its inception. In fact, he sees the potential for logging to help make the forests healthy again, by reducing overcrowding and thereby make water more available to the trees that are left standing. What Bass is against is the type of logging that that cuts down an entire forest, that leaves nothing left but stumps, logging roads, and barrenness. Bass stresses the importance of searching for creative solutions, instead of merely lambasting the current system.