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When Anger Hurts: Quieting the Storm Within

4.10  ·  Rating details ·  180 ratings  ·  17 reviews
A major revision of the best-selling classic — a quarter of a million copies sold.

This new edition of When Anger Hurts is a complete, step-by-step guide to changing habitual anger-generating thoughts while developing healthier, more effective ways of meeting your needs. It includes new chapters on emergency anger control, the interpersonal and physiological costs of anger,
Paperback, Second Edition, 320 pages
Published November 1st 2003 by New Harbinger Publications (first published 1989)
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Dec 22, 2012 rated it really liked it
It has methods of communication that I believe are effective and easy to remember. It has only a few methods to help you stop losing your temper.
Still, I found this book effective in helping me to control my temper and see life's occurrences in a different light. I feel that I have better phrases to use when I will need to be assertive and let my needs be known.

The problem I have with the book is that it tells you to forget about your "shoulds" when dealing with other people, as this will help t
Shashi Khanka
Mar 18, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This book teaches you what anger is, why you feel angry and how you can you react differently to anger provoking situations. First thing is to understand that things and people don't make you angry. It is your perceptions of things that make you angry. Just as you CHOOSE to be angry, you can chose not to be angry in a particular situation.
Anger is a way to escape the pain of some fear of rejection, frustration, stess, depression etc. If we chose not to be angry we will have to face
Jun 25, 2008 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: people dealing with anger/forgiveness issues
Shelves: self-help
I really like the approach this book takes. It helps you get out of "victim" mode and get into a "personal responsibility" mode. Basically, you are responsible for your own anger. If your needs are not getting met, you need to find other ways to meet your needs. This book gives several scenarios on how to do so. I very much recommend it for people dealing with past hurts. ...more
Jess Stockman
Jul 10, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: health, self-help
Good for not only someone who has anger issues but even those hurt by anger issues. Read it!
Dec 09, 2013 rated it it was amazing
This book is excellent. Many of the concepts and skills seem to be derived from cognitive and dialectical behavior therapy models, which drew helpful connections for me. I found this book very beneficial. The examples are pivotal to the concepts, and they are clear and plentiful. Highly recommended for anyone dealing with anger or an angry person, and anyone simply interested in becoming more skillful in self exploration and interpersonal communication.
Jun 20, 2014 rated it really liked it
It said in the beginning that anger is actually hiding a negative emotion. That in itself was an eye-opener. It made me think about what emotions lie underneath my anger. Then, anger is much easier to deal with or it disappears behind the real emotion that I need to deal with. Another good practical book.
Steve Pipenger
Jan 08, 2017 rated it really liked it
It is tough to admit that one has the issues that this book addresses. It's very good and gives great insight and techniques to calm down and be more level-headed. ...more
Jan 04, 2013 rated it liked it
Personal issues to solve...It did help.
Maria Leon
If you or someone you know has an anger issue or has been hurt..... read this book. I read it, and am rereading it again... I'm finding greater depth and understanding as a re-read the book ...more
Bill McDavid
Jan 06, 2009 rated it it was amazing
You have anger? Deal with it now. Dont wait.
Jan 27, 2021 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: human-behavior
Courage required. Not for the faint of heart.

If you approach it as the workbook it is and invest the time required to learn and apply the truths within, it may change your life. Its use and application has begun to do so for me.

On the other hand if read, for example, just to read, I predict it will make little difference in your life.

It takes work. Mental and emotional work. The work of being honest with oneself. The work of letting go of how you like to think of yourself and instead seeing yo
Janet Sonier
Apr 29, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I found the 1st printing of this book years ago in a halfprice book store. Heaven only knows how many copies I have purchased since them. I have done anger management groups for years as a LCSW, this is the book I use to doing with. I have worked with persons in the criminal justice system, incarcerated, and domestic violence. Anyone can tell people how to count to 10 or leave. But this has helped me teach people WHY and HOW they become angry and how not to let their anger control them.
Charlie Moynahan
Oct 11, 2019 rated it really liked it
Parenting can be very tricky under the best circumstances. This book helped me navigate some essential challenges I was having that stemmed from when I was a child myself, and I'm glad to have the tools of this book to reference throughout my own parenting journey. ...more
Emmanuel Garcia
Jan 18, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Highly helpful whether you or someone you love have anger problems. It breaks down common myths about the causes of anger and how to deal it. Useful for anyone—we all are angry sometimes and deal with anger all the time!
Sep 15, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
I was able to get some good nuggets out of it but it definitely was not a Christian view of things.
Casey Davis
Oct 02, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Not a lot of mumbo jumbo. Just clear, honest, well-informed advice.
Alisa Sumana
Aug 22, 2020 rated it it was amazing
A book that everyone should have ready and accessible. Matthew McKay, Judith McKay, and Peter D. Rogers explain the detrimental effects of anger. The book provides exercises that aide gaining control over your anger, and tools to begin healing from learned behavior and anger-addiction. This is a must-read.
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Matthew McKay, PhD, is a professor of psychology at the Wright Institute in Berkeley, and author of more than 30 professional psychology and self-help books which have sold a combined total of more than 3 million copies. He is co-founder of independent self-help publisher, New Harbinger Publications. He was the clinical director of Haight Ashbury Psychological Services in San Francisco for twenty ...more

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