Angelhead: My Brother's Descent into Madness

by Greg Bottoms

A taut, powerful memoir of madness, Angelhead documents the violent, drug-addled descent of the author's brother, Michael, into schizophrenia. Beginning with Michael's first psychotic break—seeing God in his suburban bedroom window while high on LSD—Greg Bottoms recounts, in gripping, dramatic prose, the bizarre disappearances, suicide attempts, and the shocking crime that land Michael in the psychiatric wing of a maximum security prison. A work of nonfiction with the form and imagery of a novel, Angelhead enables the reader to witness not only the fragmenting of a mind, but of a family as well.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Psychology, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Biography, Biography Memoir

225 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2000

Reviews

[Wild1 · Rating 4 out of 5]

After reading so much fiction, it's sometimes difficult to remember that what happens in real life has so much more impact.

This book was written so honestly that all the guilt, shame, love & confusion oozed from the pages.

I felt genuine sadness & empathy for both Michael and his family.

[Helen · Rating 5 out of 5]

A short, but intensely powerful book.

It's at various points tragic, poignant, and shocking - what the author and his family had to endure as his brother slipped ever further into the abyss that is acute schizophrenia was often painful to read. How they ever got through it without being completely broken is amazing.

I also felt for Michael, Greg's brother, despite him being thoroughly unlikeable at times. Feeling and seeing the things his brain created from his illness must have been utterly terrifying, it's hard to imagine being so cut off from reality, living every day truly believing that people close to you are conspiring against you, monitoring your thoughts and plotting your demise.

This book is also a reflection of some of the attitudes still prevalent towards serious mental health problems today, those of the medical and legal authorities and the general public; though one would like to believe things have improved in the intervening years I suspect this is not the case in either the US or the UK.
Following the process of de-institutionalization and the move towards 'care in the community', the right help often isn't made available until it is too late.

Although I note some readers haven't enjoyed the style of writing, I thought this method was an excellent way to make sense of the experience of living with schizophrenia, trying to understand it and to come to terms with its far-reaching consequences.

Required reading for anyone with an interest in mental health, those with a friend/relative who suffers similarly or people working in mental health care.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

As someone who deals with bipolar disorder, (I'm open about it because I feel if more people would be, it would fight the intense stigma surrounding the illness) I found this book extremely painful to read. Thank god, my illness has never been anywhere NEAR as severe as Michael's but I am so aware that something like schizophrenia can strike anyone - no matter who they are or what family they come from. My heart goes out to Michael and to his family. It frustrated me so much that the family was unable to get help for so long. I felt alternately frustrated with them and sorry for them. Mostly sorry for them. I felt Micheal's pain and the authors so intensely. It saddens me that they had to cut ties completely with Michael, but I realize they had no other choice. What a terrible, tragic situation. I did not know that schizophrenia could be so hard to treat- I worked with a number of people with the illness when I was volunteering at a mental hospital, and I saw the ravages of the illness, but I also saw people respond to the medication and get much better, albeit never to live a completely normal life, they could carry on a conversation, take basic care of themselves, and in some cases even hold down a simple, part time job. I hope that advances in medicine and psychiatric drugs have made Micheal's situation more rare. I am only able to give this book four stars because I found it so brutal and difficult to read.

[Mary K · Rating 5 out of 5]

A heartbreaking story perfectly and beautifully written. Read a second time in 2022 and just as heart wrenching and gorgeous

[bjneary · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very sad story about the author's brother's (SCARY!!!) drug use and diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenic as a teen. Greg Bottoms tells a compelling & horror filled story about his family that does not know how to deal with their son's/brother's mental illness and it doesn't help that Michael is not likable AT ALL. I want to read more about this family/illness because the book ends abruptly but I think Greg has much more to say. I learned that what a family presents to the world can be much more different than it is in the home. Teens, adults, and reluctant readers will enjoy this book, too.

[Jessica Bradley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amazingly well written description of life with a paranoid schizophrenic. This book is so honest and real. I initially picked it up because my husband grew up in the same small town as the author and knew his younger brother. Once I picked it up I devoured it in a few hours. I feel so much for every single person in this book. It's sort of a heavy burden to take on (reading it) because you can't really get the authors story out of your head long after putting it down. I still recommend it highly.

[Cate · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was extraordinary. Not a sentence out of place. Sharp, taut, vivid, painful. This book is above all a searing indictment of how our societies do not address chronic mental ill health with anything approaching adequacy. And in the 25 - 30 years since, the situation is barely any better as Western societies grapple with the failed implementation of "deinstitutionalisation" where the institutions were emptied but the resources were not transferred to the community. How this man was able to enter a guilty plea when he was so clearly not fit to stand trial is a complete mystery to me. What a tragic tale of collateral damage.

[Rena · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent account of what it's like for a family with a violent schizophrenic member (who they cannot get help for due to the obstacles presented by mental health law and too little knowledge of the disease) to try to survive with the least amount of damages. I'd like to say the family would have an easier time today, but am not sure they would. The story increased my sympathy and understanding of what some of our third party callers at the crisis line are going through. If you work in mental health, this a good book to read.

[Paul · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book explains how it is to live with someone who is sliding into madness. Schizophrenics on the street were once someone's brother, sister, son or daughter. They were quite probably completely normal for a good portion of their lives. You don't just wake up crazy one day. It happens over time and a family is often struggling to adjust and recognize what is happening. Fascinating and disturbing.

[Terry Perrel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is the riveting, harrowing, breath taking story of the author's brother and how his paranoid schizophrenia affected the family. Aside from delusional behavior and attempts to burn down the family home, the brother also confessed to a horrible murder he did not commit. All of this takes place in and around Newport News, VA.

[Mars · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have mixed feelings about this book.

It definitely wins points on the entertainment scale with its depravity. Those of us who have a morbid curiosity with true crime and tend to click on news stories with extreme, harrowing titles will definitely find this book right up their alley. Keep in mind that the author does acknowledge that there are certain times where he uses creative liberties to fill in the blanks on Michael’s story and while real or not, the nature of a lot of the horrible events that happen to Michael were written with such graphic depiction that I personally do not feel were necessary. If these events were real, I believe that author could have just eluded to what happened or implied it instead of going into as much detail as he did. It seems as though he did so more for the entertainment factor rather than adding significant information to the story. If these events did not actually happen, then that makes my theory so much more worse. Trigger Warnings for rape

One of the other major issues I had with the story is it’s characterization of schizophrenia. I understand that this was 1 unique case and this is the author’s personal experience but I wish that he had expressed the uniqueness of his brother’s case much more than he did. I worry that readers will think that all individuals who suffer from schizophrenia act/behave in the ways that Michael did or that this disease is a one size fits all. It is important to note that not everyone who is diagnosed with this form of schizophrenia will have the same challenges that Michael did. I don’t want to see this become the stereotype.

I also struggled with the ending, I don’t think it clearly lets the reader know what happened. Is Michael still incarcerated? Has Michael passed away? Did the doctors ever find a medication that would work for him? It felt like it just stops, with no clear closure. I also think a little more about how the family was able to move on and where they are now would have made a great ending. It was in need of an epilogue.

Finally, I thought keeping the news clippings in several chapters and censoring the names of those involved was pointless. I understand the censoring may have to do with privacy laws but honestly, I was able to look up the exact articles online with all of the information that the author was trying to hide. Providing the news source and titles of the articles was not a good idea if the goal was to protect privacy. Also, I struggle with the fact that the author is making money off of his brother’s illness. This bothers me a lot. I hope that it is used for charity or research on schizophrenia but I doubt it.

What I did like about the book was the family dynamics. I loved reading about how each family member dealt with what was going on and did a good job of capturing all of the frustrations, grief, and love they felt. I loved the backstories of how the family rose from poverty to middle class. I liked how the author was able to describe how isolating it can be to have a family member with mental illness and how neighbors, extended family do not understand what day to day life is like.

The thing I loved most about the book is how the author highlights our society’s lack of resources for those with severe mental illnesses. I loved the brief history given about the disestablishing of institutionalization and how the concept of “integrating” into the community took form. It did a good job at showing the holes into our systems and how something really bad like murder or suicide has to happen first before there is even a chance of psychiatric stays. It is sad that there is no safety net or help for these individuals.

Overall, Angelhead is an entertaining albeit disturbing story of the author’s lived experiences with a severely mentally ill brother, who fell through society’s cracks with dire consequences.

____________
RTC

[JimZ · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this many years ago. I can remember it as riveting. The writer calls it a work of creative nonfiction about his brother in his recollections.

A reviewer had this to say, John Casey: Angelhead is a cleanly distilled story of a profound family anguish. One every one of its 200 pages there are sentences like arrows. The whole work has the beauty of hard, painful truth, arrived at through intelligence, art, and compassion. This is one of the most moving books I've read in a long, long time.

Had to agree with him...

[Kaela · Rating 4 out of 5]

A surprisingly beautiful non-fiction memoir of a paranoid schizophrenic's life and its effects upon his family, from his brother's point of view. It made textbook definitions of the mental disease possible to empathize with, yet it's still unfathomable. So, so difficult to read yet so easy. Heartbreaking and inspiring. You have to read it.

[Hannah · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's a very sad story and a very accurate account of just some of the challenges faced by seriously mentally ill citizens and their families in terms of securing needed and effective care/intervention/support. It's really sad that although better in some ways, not much has changed in that regard and our current mental health and justice systems still have a very long way to go.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author's brother has an extremely severe case of schizophrenia, but anyone who knows someone with this type of mental illness will recognize aspects of that person (or their family/friends) in this book. Another book for the hopeless...

[Juniper]

I expected this book to be from first person perspective, but having read it I now see how impossible it would have been.

It felt like an unnecessary tragedy that went from bad to worse. I didn't find the narrator's brother reprehensible. Yet he was just a kid. What happened to his life is sickening, as the impact on the family. It really highlights the disgusting inadequacy of community support and the mental health system.

I thought anti-psychotics might have a place if they really could help in crises, or severe cases, but the inefficacy of these drugs in severe cases leaves no room for them, to me.

The story of the brother's perspective was really valuable, his embarrassment, pain, and perception of the family dysfunction added a lot for me.

I generally think of schizophrenics as semi-confused but harmless people (other than to themselves). Reading this case I really became aware of just how fcked a mind can become. It scared me. But equally scary are the sane young men who took advantage of his incapacity and sadistically raped him.

Not easy to stomach, this a horrifying and painful story.

[Audrey Blandford · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this for my American Lit class. Was such a difficult read- content was violent and upsetting in every way. The writing was well done, but I still take issue with how the pov is the brother- how could he possibly know what Michael’s schizophrenic thoughts were? But also, he was the closest to him and navigated this narrative well.

[Jill Bowman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a powerful, painful book, written by a brother who lived in terror of his paranoid schizophrenic older brother for most of his life. As did the rest of the family. They were, in effect, held hostage by Michael’s illness and by a system that was unable to help them. I was unable to put it down but it’s so well told that at times I needed to look away and think of something else.
In a terrible coincidence as I was reading it (12/7/19) a police officer in our beautiful little city was sitting in his patrol car. There was a Christmas lights display in the Square and as he sat there a man came up behind and executed him with 1 shot to the head from a 9mm Taurus handgun (that he had illegally) and killed him instantly.
It has come out today (8th) that London Phillips (who was shot and killed) was a diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic and his history with his mother, the lighters, the arrests and releases for domestic violence could have been lifted directly from this book. We need to all read Angelhead and our country has to learn how to care for people who need it.

[Libby Samchuck · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book is fantastically heartfelt, heart wrenching, honest and just plain sad. the way the author paints with his sadness is just so striking. i am so glad i had to read this for my class. 100% recommend.

[Sedefu · Rating 4 out of 5]

Şizofren olan abisi Michael'i, onun neler düşünmüş olabileceğini, onunla yaşamanın nasıl bir şey olduğunu bütün açıklığıyla anlatmış. İnsanın okurken içi acıyor.
Akıcı ve değişik bir şekilde yazmış. Fazla küfürlü olduğu için (belki de olması gereken bu) 4 yıldız

[sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautiful, powerful language throughout. Greg Bottoms weaves a violent, harrowing narrative about Michael, his paranoid schizophrenic brother, and pulls few punches when confronting the family's collective guilt over their abandoning of him at various points in his life. What I read on the page is very much a portrayal of life with a paranoid schizophrenic. Bottoms states at the beginning that his intent is "aesthetic as well as information" to create a "literary portrait or gesture" of his brother's life. There is introspection, but the narrator is less focused on looking at his own life through the lens of his brother's illness and more interested on pointing the camera directly at Michael. I believe this is quite purposeful, to lend Michael a voice he otherwise doesn't have, and to raise awareness to a larger audience about the challenges and dangerous circumstances sufferers of paranoid schizophrenia face. From the very first line the narrator had me, and I consumed this memoir completely. A sad, wonderful, heartbreaking account.

[Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

people with mental illness and their family members need a much better, cohesive system of care and support. families should not have to go through the dread and terror of severe mental illness alone. we need better resources from identifying serious mental illness, not only to protect families and society, but the individual with mental illness as well. the author writes that his brother was a crime victim as well as a perpetrator. in my experience as a social worker, I have met numerous people with all kinds of disabilities who have been victims of financial, violent, and medical crimes. these vulnerable populations need society to stigmatize the "normal" people who rape them, steal their money and possessions, and steal their medications. I am sorry for this author's pain and the maddening search for help he and his family went through trying to help a person who basically does not share society's consensual reality and is unable to do so. a great book about a difficult subject.

[Pamela · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a roller coaster of emotion. It grips the mind, and twists the heart from the first page. Anger at the authorities for not doing something sooner to help this family. Sad that the parents had to endure so much fear, disappointment, frustration when all they wanted was to provide a normal happy home. Mortified that Greg endured such physical and emotional abuse in silence. Confused on how to feel about Michael. Obviously he is a victim of illness, but happy that he is finally somewhere he can't hurt anyone anymore. Relief, and yet all the years of his illness will forever leave marks. A gripping tale, hard to read, but unable to put down. I find this captivating, though sad, and sometimes claustrophobic because you only want the family to be happy and free. Including Michael. I found myself holding my breath hoping for that help, relief, break in the clouds. Well written, I'm a new fan of Greg Bottoms.

[Christina Culbertson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just finished this book and I have to give Greg Bottoms 5 stars. This book is so nitty an down to the point of what its like to live with his family and his schizophrenic brother Michael, a very violent one at that. Over the years Greg describes how Michael slipped further and further away from reality, hallucinations, catching things on fire, chasing his own father with an aluminum bat, sodomy prostitution and how his own family walked on eggshells around him because you never knew when he would snap. I couldnt put this book down, this waas right down my alley, I suffer from bipolar myself so anything that has to do with mental illness you can count me in. Psychology is the most fascinating subject ever to man. It was like I was literally living with michael greg and their family myself! id recommend this book to anyone who likes to know the cold hard truth. If you think mental illness is something to be played with or something to overlook and ignore, you better guess again.

[Mary McGuire · Rating 3 out of 5]

a difficult task

It isn't easy to review a book like this. While reading reviews of the book, saw that other medical people stepped up to the challenge. I too am a nurse but find it difficult to weigh in on that level. This book is a memoir.... who am I to just what this family should and shouldn't have felt like towards Michael. Although I tried! I felt anger, bitterness, and regret coming through from the author and I didn't expect it. But why wouldn't he have felt these things? I guess I hoped to get a real insiders look at Michael. And in retrospect I did. I mean how much can you really know and understand a severe paranoid schizophrenic? This is my first novel if you will, about the subject of mental health. My experiences have been through cut and dried text books. I suspect I might be able to judge this book with more circumspect following further readings. I will say though that Mr. Bottom's prose were like reading poetry!

[Garrett · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a short, very well-written book about the author losing his older brother to insanity. This book is so gripping that you will probably read it in a single sitting like I did.

"Angelhead" was the nickname given to his brother because of his intense religious fanaticism mixed with his constant potsmoking and acid-tripping. I read this book many years ago, and still can't get the creepy image of his brother lying naked in bed, high, while his snakes crawled all over him. This is a sad story but one that will stick with you for a long time.

Also, if I remember right, the author is into some pretty cool music as well and talks a bit about that. Off-topic, but it made the book appeal to me even more.

[Jenni · Rating 3 out of 5]

Having two siblings who have this same illness, and one of them has it just as severely, I could relate tremendously to the parts where he talks about his feelings about this, and I wanted more to be able to connect with the parodoxical feelings of being "normal" and the problems with that categorization. Still, for someone who is unfamiliar with this illness, I felt he did a superb job of describing the hell it puts a person through, the complete deterioration, although his brother seemed to have severe problems before its onset.

[Dan · Rating 4 out of 5]

A sad story about the author's experience with his schizophrenic brother. The one complaint that I have about the book is that, in a way, it presents schizophrenics as violent and unpredictable, which is sometimes the case, but less so than the general population. This book, probably without intending to, contributes to the demonization of the mentally ill in the media. That said, I always appreciate when people open up about their personal experiences with mental illness, whether firsthand, or through personal accounts as witnesses of their loved-ones' sufferings.

[Nik Maack · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short, readable, clear book of deep feeling. How a family is beaten up by mental illness and how everyone copes with it. The denial was the most fascinating part to me -- how the craziest behaviour can come to seem normal. The guilt, the love and the hate, all of it twisted together -- the author surfs these complex feelings without ever seeming false. Even as he narrates events and feelings he couldn't possibly know, he admits his uncertainty, admits to his own fallibility, and creates a great, compelling read. Intense. If I had only one complaint, it would be, more please. Its a short book.

[Kilean · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heartbreaking, for certain. Gorgeous prose from a man describing his older brother's horrifying collapse into full-blown madness. This can easily be read in one sitting yet it resonates with a force typically apropos something huge and voluminous. Bottoms doesn't hold back and one of the most memorable characteristics of this book, an emotion thats seems to damn near vibrate from the pages, is fear. Read the book, consider the way it ends. You'll easily know what I mean.