Here they are again, Charlie and Lola! This time Lola is convinced that she is too small for school - sorry, too absolutely small for school!
Charlie is amused when their Mum and Dad tell Lola that she is nearly quite big enough for school but Lola is unsure about that. She has a home-made measuring chart that begins at 'huge' and works down to 'titchy' and when she stands up against it she reaches 'smallish' so, naturally she says, 'I am absolutely not BIG. I am still quite small.'
Having made that statement she then adds that she probably does not have time to go to school as she is always extremely busy, 'doing important things at home'. Charlie tries to tell her that at school she would learn how to count up to 100 but Lola responds with, 'I don't need to learn up to one hundred. I already know up to ten and that is plenty.' To emphasise her point she says that she never has more than 10 biscuits' - (isn't she good, I can't always say that!), adding 'Ten is enough.'
Charlie counteracts her statement by asking her what she would do with 11 eager elephants who all wanted a treat. 'I am not quite sure,' answers Lola and then she ignores him.
Charlie tries to tell her that she would learn letters and then she would be able to write to people but Lola says that the telephone suits her and that she has no need to write - 'It's more friendly and straightaway,' she says. Charlie points out that not everyone has a telephone and when Lola asks who does not, he responds with 'Father Christmas'. And he points out the problems there could be in getting presents off one's Christmas list if he doesn't get a letter because his helpers would get the presents muddled up. 'Innocent little Lola says, 'I didn't know that, Charlie.'
To further his point Charlie asks her if she wants to read books because if she does, she needs to know her letters - and, equally importantly, she would then be able to understand secret messages written on the fridge. - just to entice her, 'there is pink milk [her favourite drink] in this fridge' is the example he gives.
Charlie even uses an angry ogre scenario to try to entice her to go to school and Lola mellows as she says, 'I would like to read to an angry ogre and count up elephants and put notes up the chimbley' but she emphatically states that she will NOT ever were a schooliform - 'I do not like wearing the same as other people,' is her reason for this.
Charlie tells her that at their school they do not have to wear a school uniform so Lola gets out a costume that she says she will wear. Charlie sees it as a crocodile outfit but Lola corrects him and tells him it is an alligator. Whatever it is, Charlie says that stripes are nice for school and acceptable unlike crocodiles or alligators.
Lola tries another tack and says she will 'NOT ever never eat school dinners' (I must confess I wasn't too keen on them - particularly the ubiquitous semolina!). Charlie counteracts with the fact that she can take her own lunch box but Lola quickly shoots that down by saying, 'I do not want to eat at school alone, all by myself on my own.' Charlie tells her there will be lots of new friends but Lola says she is happy with her imaginary friend Soren Lorensen and that she would prefer to have lunch at home with him.
Charlie tells her that Soren will be going to school as well and he would prefer to sit with her so he asks, 'What will he do if he can't sit next to you?' This sways Lola who realises that Soren would be 'slightly nervous on his own' and decides, 'I will absolutely have to go too.'
On her first day at school Charlie is worried for he doesn't see his sister and she is not anywhere to be found. But at home time he spots her hopping along home with somebody else, a new found friend. Charlie is happy and he tells Lola at home that he had told her she would have a good time. In her inimitable way Lola says, 'Oh, I know Charlie, I was not worried. It was Soren Lorensen who was nervous, not me. I was fine.'
And another amusing episode in the excellent Charlie and Lola saga comes to an end ... I wonder what will be up next? I suppose it all depends on what the next title I find on my travels is! Whatever, it will be just as great fun - and they are always re-readable but Lola-speak does eventually really absolutely have a worrying habit of working its way into one's language.