What Happens When a Loved One Dies?: Our First Talk About Death

by Jillian Roberts, Cindy Revell (Illustrator)

Whether children are experiencing grief and loss for the first time or simply curious, it can be difficult to know how to talk to them about death. Using questions posed in a child’s voice and answers that start simply and become more in-depth, this book allows adults to guide the conversation to a natural and reassuring conclusion. Additional questions at the back of the book allow for further discussion. Child psychologist Dr. Jillian Roberts designed the Just Enough series to empower parents/caregivers to start conversations with young ones about difficult or challenging subject matter. Other books in the series deal with birth, diversity, separation and divorce.

Genres: Death, Nonfiction, Picture Books, Childrens, Grief, Parenting, Self Help

32 pages, Hardcover

First published April 5, 2016

Reviews

[Jason · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty straightforward and unsentimental (which is good) discussion about death and its implications and consequences.

[Vannessa Anderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

What Happens When A Love One Dies? was well written. The illustrations were beautiful and on-point.

[Alice · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn't have to deal with death as a child, but I have dealt with it WAY TOO MUCH as an adult! I was curious what a book would try to tell children. And well it doesn't tell them anything. It is conjecture and hypotheses mixed with "all living things die". It explains things simply like funerals, and grief and missing loved once. If you have a belief system this book is a waste of time.

HOWEVER, If you have no belief system this will start you on a direction to some ideas for your to decide what you believe!

Personal Rant! I believe in heaven, an after life and that we will see our loved ones again. This book says we will NEVER see them again, but "we can think about them and love them." Thankfully I have a belief system and can share it with others and I belief and understand life and death before I read this book. I guess it is good resource if you don't know what to belief.

Try lds.org and go from there! FAMILIES ARE FOREVER!

[Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very honest and straight forward look at death. It's told in a question and answer form, covering the basics of death, funerals, where that person went, will they be seen again, etc. All the answers are general enough that religious and non-religious families would be able to relate to the book's answers and be able to elaborate to the young reader on what their family or culture believes specifically. The book also talks a little bit about the sadness and grief that comes with death and suggests ways to help cope, but I'd say the bulk of the book is more informational than dwelling on the emotional aspects of death.

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not that I want to say I "really liked" anything that courts such sadness as this topic but the gentle tone of this picture book addresses death and its many questions in an accessible way that is never too blunt or over bearing. Posing child like questions with straightforward but not graphic answers the text flows over every curiosity without being religion specific or overly detailed. Overall a wonderful resource that I wish no one would ever need.

[Etienne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good book for young one, it explain in a multicultural way (nothing specific to a religion) what death mean, why it happen, how to deal with it. A good way to talk about death with young children. The book in itself is beautiful, with illustration that are joyful and full of color. A good choice!

[Marissa Elera · Rating 5 out of 5]

Age appropriate and actually helpful. A great choice.

[Betsy Ellor · Rating 3 out of 5]

As the series name "Just Enough" suggests this short, nonfiction book addresses death in a simple way for young readers to start to help begin the process of grieving.

[Vani · Rating 3 out of 5]

Rating: 3.5 stars

This book talks about death in simple terms without embracing any particular religious views. If you're struggling to explain death to children, get them this book.

[Jess · Rating 4 out of 5]

May 2017 - it turns out there are lots of stories about grandparents and pets dying, and books about grief and feeling sad, but not too many that actually explain what death is at a toddler or preschool level. After my mother-in-law died earlier this month, I brought home this one, plus Something Very Sad Happened: A Toddler's Guide to Understanding Death and When Aunt Mattie Got Her Wings (we haven't read these two yet, but the first is an even more simple approach to the topic and is truly at a toddler level, and the second is a story with chickens that answers lots of questions indirectly along the way and would be good for preschool and up). Ben hadn't been asking any questions about grandma - he knew that she died, but it was pretty abstract for him. Reading this book brought up more questions for him and helped explain things directly but gently. It's very open-ended and could be used for any religious tradition or a non-religious family. He even chose it again himself.

[Leah]

What Happens When a Loved One Dies? follows a question and answer pattern throughout the book. A child will ask a question that assuredly would more than likely be asked by a real-world child, and then book provides an matter-of-fact, non-frightening answer. This book, while still simplified, would work best with school-aged children to read in the presence of their adult/caregiver. The adult can decide what to further discuss based on the beliefs of the family.

This book slides in some vocabulary terms, such as what a funeral is, and also talks about the different beliefs that people have about what happens after death. It touches on what a soul is to some people and details the different aspects of what people believe could be the "afterlife." It also discusses the grieving process in the same question and answer pattern -- "What can I do to feel better?" and "Why do I feel so sad?" The last page of this novel provides further questions/answers that did not fit into the book and would be beneficial for parents to read as well.

"Death can be really hard to understand. There are lots of different ideas about what happens after we die, but nobody knows for sure. We do know that it's something that connects us all."

[Decia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This picture book was written for elementary aged children who have experienced death for the first time or may just be curious about it. It starts off by explaining that there are many different living things in the world that die, like how an old tree that falls over is no longer living. It goes on to explain that people are living as well so we die as well. It has a gentle and loving flow to it making it perfect for elementary aged children. It is also a good resource for parents who may not know how to tackle such a difficult topic. The illustrations are beautiful, vibrant and colorful, perfect for capturing and maintaining the attention of readers. I enjoyed this book and plan to add it to my library.

[Manda · Rating 4 out of 5]

My overall sense is this a very gentle book. It presents death both in nature and in the sense of losing a loved one. It talks about a soul and some of the different ideas people have about what happens after death. There are questions around sadness and ways to honor the memory of the loved one and it acknowledges that death is mysterious and hard to understand but that it’s also something that connects us. There are also some additional questions in the back that can help facilitate further discussions.

It doesn’t include a glossary or resources page.
There is race and some belief representation and one elder family member with a cane.

[Jessica Serrano · Rating 5 out of 5]

What Happens When a Loved on Dies was a very endearing and well thought out book. Explaining death to is child is not just difficult, its extremely hard. This book addresses some of the most common questions that children ask when a loved one has died. The bright and vibrant illustrations keep your attention and give the subject matter a less gloomy take. I think this is a great way to help a child cope with and understand death, should the need arise I would recommend this book highly.

[Ember Air · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful introduction to grief that explains the emotion, the causes of the emotion, ways to deal with it, and reassurance that everything is normal and going to be okay. Truly beautiful wording; I loved how un-specific the book was word-wise. You can tell that the author really cared about making this book accessible for all readers, and she gives credit to multiple different types of cultural traditions and beliefs.

[Denise · Rating 5 out of 5]

Apparently I'm on a morbid kick. ;)

[Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very informative and factual, while still remaining kid-friendly and warm feeling.

[Annie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A simple and accessible nonfiction book about death and grief, with many cultures and beliefs mentioned.

[Ni · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully illustrated. This is a lovely gentle book that speaks to many of the questions children will have about death with respect of the views of different cultures.

[Jane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved the "fill in the blank" nature of this. Toddlers take things really literally so it was good to be prompted to insert our own experience.

[Emelisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

My 7 year old loved everything about it. And he said he loves living. He likes to think that when we die we will always live on in his memories. 🥰

[Christy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whether children are experiencing grief and loss for the first time or simply curious, it can be difficult to know how to talk to them about death. Using questions posed in a child's voice and answers that start simply and become more in-depth, this book allows adults to guide the conversation to a natural and reassuring conclusion. Additional questions at the back of the book allow for further discussion.
Child psychologist Dr. Jillian Roberts designed the Just Enough series to empower parents/caregivers to start conversations with young ones about difficult or challenging subject matter. What Happens When a Loved One Dies? is the second book in the

[Kristen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honest, appropriate, multicultural, and open minded.

[Sue Mosher · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very well done for young children and respectful of all cultures.

[Becca · Rating 4 out of 5]

Answers questions about death and grief in a very respectful and gentle, but straightforward way. This is not specific to any religion.

[Amanda B · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simple, helpful, inclusive.

[Bree Tung]

as an adult, it also provide me a new and informative perspectives of death:D