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Crotchet Castle

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Mr. Crotchet found it essential to furnish himself with a coat of arms, videlicet: Crest, a crotchet rampant, in A sharp: Arms, three empty bladders, turgescent, to show how opinions are formed; three bags of gold, pendent, to show why they are maintained; three naked swords, trenchant, to show how they are administered; and three barbers' blocks, gaspant, to show how they are swallowed. CROTCHET CASTLE: A Comedy of Love and Manners by Thomas Love Peacock. (Jacketless library hardcover.)

132 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1831

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5 stars
21 (16%)
4 stars
45 (36%)
3 stars
43 (34%)
2 stars
9 (7%)
1 star
6 (4%)
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
Profile Image for Petra.
1,267 reviews39 followers
December 23, 2015
This was delightful! A humorous surprise of a read.
Gothic??!! Not in my eyes. This story is full of wonderfully eccentric characters, each with a singular obsession that they never tire of talking about. My favorites: Mr. Dampfire, who's afraid of water & malaria, and Mr. Chainmail, who thinks that the world has gone down-hill since the 12th Century.
In between the humorous discussions between the characters are stories of love, wealth, greed, deception and plenty of food and drink.....wine and champagne for all! :D
I had no expectations or knowledge of this book when going in and it entertained me throughout. A surprising find.
Profile Image for Leslie.
2,761 reviews230 followers
September 28, 2019
I quite enjoyed this Georgian satire though I didn't think it was as funny as Peacock's more famous novel "Nightmare Abbey". However, Peacock's style will not be for everyone & I can easily imagine that some readers would find this deadly dull. Personally I find it would be worth reading his books just for the fun of the characters' names - Mr. Mac Quedy (get it - Q.E.D. - ha ha), Mr. Touchandgo (the absconding banker), the Earl of Foolincourt, Mr. Wilful Wontsee, etc. etc.

Read in my hardcover omnibus "The Pleasures of Peacock"
Profile Image for Andrew H.
595 reviews34 followers
May 25, 2020
This sixth novel has its moments, but the format is so much like Headlong Hall and Nightmare Abbey that the jokes are thin. Much like the film that has a sequel, then a prequel, or the novel franchise that runs far too long, Crotchet Castle is one step too far down a well-trodden path.
131 reviews14 followers
April 8, 2010
Crotchet Castle is good-natured satire, droll rather than polemical. As far as there is any story, a nouveau riche merchant is trying to polish his social status by turning his house, grandly named Crotchet Castle, into a salon for intellectuals. The result is a series of breakfasts, dinners and travels, during which the guests promote their own views or specialties, while denigrating everybody else’s.

The discussions are even-handed: the economist (Scottish, of course) wants to reduce everything to numbers and logic; the transcendental poet worships the “sublime Kant”; the clergyman, the main speaker, cares mostly for his dinner and pooh-poohs the economist’s ideas of progress in society.
And as for the human mind, I deny that it is the same in all men. I hold that there is every variety of natural capacity from the idiot to Newton and Shakespeare; the mass of mankind, midway between these extremes, being blockheads of different degrees; education leaving them pretty nearly as it found them, with this single difference, that it gives a fixed direction to their stupidity, a sort of incurable wry neck to the thing they call their understanding. So one nose points always east, and another always west, and each is ready to swear that it points due north.
Thomas Love Peacock is a reader’s writer. His novels assume knowledge of classical Latin and Greek literature; they are full of quotations from French, Latin, ancient Greek and Italian; and he uses unusual words with a schoolboy’s glee. This is the clergyman’s retort to the meteorologist, who is obsessed with the 19th century equivalent of global warming.
For my part I care not a rush (or any other aquatic and inesculent vegetable) who or what sucks up either the water or the infection. I think the proximity of wine a matter of much more importance than the longinquity of water. – Crotchet Castle, Thomas Love Peacock (1831)

Profile Image for Bettie.
9,973 reviews9 followers
March 6, 2014
My second Peacock and if it's as darkly funny as Nightmare Abbey I will be best pleased.

In one of those beautiful vallies, through which the Thames (not yet polluted by the tide, the scouring of cities, or even the minor defilement of the sandy streams of Surrey,) rolls a clear flood through flowery meadows, under the shade of the old beech woods, and the smooth mossy greensward of the chalk hills (which pour into it their tributary rivulets, as pure and pellucid as the fountain of Bandusium, or the wells of Scamander, by which the wives and daughters of the Trojans washed their splendid garments in the days of peace, before the coming of the Greeks); in one of those beautiful vallies, on a bold round surfaced lawn, spotted wood, which rose with a steep, but not precipitous ascent, from the river to the summit of the hill, stood the castellated villa of a retired citizen.

That! - dear friends - is just one sentence. lol

It's panning out in the same mould as Nightmare Abbey - various characters(best summarised by their names, an affectation later used by Dickens) sit around a dining table arguing the toss. It's very funny, and if one should feel inclined to quote all those funny lines for your delectation, one would be copying out most of the book. There is a love match at the root of it all and it is, overall, a funny and charming book - bit I much preferred the dark skit on romanticiam that was Nightmare Abbey.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for The Usual.
280 reviews15 followers
January 28, 2024
OK, it seems I share a sense of humour with someone who’s been dead since 1866. That’s… different. Not bad different, just different, and an indication I need to drag myself into the twenty-first century. All I can say is that this book tickled me. Whether it would have tickled me twenty years ago, with a bit less reading under my belt and a bit less knowledge of the period, is another matter.

What we have here is, well, a Thomas Love Peacock novel. You know the score: there’s no real character development, good-humoured fun is poked at a range of subjects, there are slightly more characters present than can really be justified, and the plot, what there is of one, is something stuck in when the author remembers.

Is that bad? No, not really. If the chap were alive today he’d be doing stand-up.
22 reviews1 follower
January 24, 2014
An amusing read. A bit heavy going in parts. Some new words - asseverated or acatalectic anyone - that'll probably not be popping up in conversation.
Profile Image for Mike.
454 reviews38 followers
July 30, 2023
Lots of chuckles, and enjoyed the 19th c archaisms and style.

Notes:
Read an 1891 edition, published by J. M. Dent & Co at Aldine House, London. 192 deckled pages
7 ... Introduction (writer unknown): Peacock at his zenith. ... equally free from the errors of immaturity and the infirmities of senescence.
8 ... merry imps
10 ... ardent and pure thirst for knowledge
16 ... Should once the world resolve to abolish / All that's ridiculous & foolish, / It would have nothing left to do, / To apply in jest or earnest to. --Butler
18 ... Ebeneezer MacCrotchet ... fear of losing predominated over the sacred thirst of paper money
19 ... he was desirous to obliterate alike the Hebrew and Caledonian vestiges in his name. [Reading copy had MacGregor Jenkins' ex libris, 1892.]
20 ... Mr. Crotchet found it essential to furnish himself with a coat of arms, videlicet: Crest, a crotchet rampant, in A sharp: Arms, three empty bladders, turgescent, to show how opinions are formed; three bags of gold, pendent, to show why they are maintained; three naked swords, trenchant, to show how they are administered; and three barbers' blocks, gaspant, to show how they are swallowed.
36 ... I think the proximity of wine a matter of much more importance than the longinquity of water. You are here within a mile of the Thames; but in the cellar of my friend, Mr. Crotchet, there is the talismanic antidote of a thousand dozen of old wine; a beautiful spectacle, I assure you, and a model of arrangement.
78 ... Crotchet: Pray gents ... pocket your manuscripts; fill your glasses; and consider what we shall do with our money
Mr. Firedamp: Drain the country and get rid of malaria, by abolishing duck ponds.
83 ... The schemes for the world's regeneration evaporated in a tumult of voices
89 ... a gentleman's house: there's nothing more fit to be looked at than the outside of a book
92 ... ... if I wished my footman to learn modesty, I should not dream of sending him to school to a naked Venus
104 ... At Oxford's undisturbed libraries, Rev Folliott laid a wager with Crotchet "that in all their perlustrations they would not find a man reading," and won it. ... We may well ask, in these great reservoirs of books whereof no man ever draws a sluice .... What is done here for the classics?
151 ... he awoke, the next morning, to the pleasant consciousness that he was under the same roof with one of the most fascinating creatures under the canopy of heaven.
192 ... Turnbull and Spears, Printers, Edinburgh
Profile Image for Jess.
141 reviews13 followers
August 24, 2013
My favourite character in this was Mr Firedamp. I'm pretty sure I'd happily read a whole story about him and his irrational fear of water and catching malaria everywhere he goes. Mr Chainmail was a fun guy too, with his weird love for the twelfth century. If there's anything to say about this story, it's that it had unique characters.

It was an okay read, but didn't pull me in too much, so, two stars from me.
Profile Image for Daniel.
319 reviews
July 27, 2020
Each chapter in this is well-written (incredibly well-written in fact) and a delight to write--if read serially, comic portraits, caricatures of Nineteenth Century types.... but as a whole it doesn't really hold up.....

There's not really a plot....

... but boy can this guy write...

... and we can see how he influenced British humor of recent days.....
Profile Image for Archie Hamerton.
215 reviews
June 13, 2026
Surprise hit on the orals list so far! great for showing that the country house novel, even in its earliest canonical incarnations, was never typical and always kind of janky and generically self ironising. Crotchet Castle is not a castle at all but a new-build villa conveniently close enough to the ruins of a Roman castle (or rather, a Roman camp that was mistranslated as a castle) for a Scottish up-and-comer masquerading as an English gentleman to name it such. The novel is filled with houses of similar variations: a young obsessive antiquarian has filled his home with antique weaponry and monkish literature in his attempt to preserve a little monastic pocket of the 12th century in the 19th century; and the unscrupulous banker Touchandgo has fled to America, bought a band of slaves and had them build him a country house of his own — the country house in its American variation is explicitly an instrument of slavery and colonial rule, but the band of idealists and economists pontificating during their visit to Crotchet show that the English country houses are far from innocent, precariously propped up by the colonial project.
Profile Image for Susan.
708 reviews1 follower
May 14, 2023
Wonderful book 'of it's age', with many chuckle out loud moments as Trevor Love Peacock wryly observes the eccentricities and hypocrisies of a group of mainly well-to-do people, feasting, whilst debating philosophical issues of the day. I could not really follow the story as such, but the characters , with their odd names and passions are so well drawn and described with a Jane Austen style irony. A joy.
Profile Image for Russell James.
Author 41 books13 followers
July 16, 2026
Time to rediscover Thomas Love Peacock, a genuinely funny writer from the early 19th century - and this rivals 'Nightmare Abbey' for being his most popular. Peacock was a satirist and, for any of his books, it's best to choose one with a decent Introduction by someone prepared to give you a little background into the characters. None of his tales have much of a plot but this Welsh romance is perhaps the most charming.
11 reviews
April 26, 2026
Slim, easy, witty introduction into this era of English literature for the uninitiated (myself). I enjoyed Mr. Chainmail and the surprisingly intricate presentations of scenery, this novel felt like a true time capsule and a pleasant use of my time.
5 reviews
May 1, 2019
Almost as hilarious as Nightmare Abbey - but not quite.
Profile Image for Chris Marquette.
49 reviews16 followers
November 4, 2012
There was nothing original in this novel, it was hardly a novel, and it wasn't very funny (though it was clearly meant to be).
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews