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188 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 3, 2015
"It wasn’t a monster come to eat me. It was this monster. Who’s come to eat me out."
my khui vibrating within my chest with a song that’s growing greater with every possible moment.
She doesn’t feel the hollowness of a lonely spirit. How can she? There is no khui inside her to resonate.
I worry she’ll sicken and be too weak to accept a khui.
If I’ve hurt my mate, I will be sick with self-loathing. My khui seems to recoil in agreement.
I should be screaming no, help, rape and instead, I have the giggles. Because he doesn’t want to eat me. He just . . . wants to lick my pussy.
“It wasn’t a monster come to eat me. It was this monster.
Who’s come to eat me out.”
“My khui and my body have been aching with need for her since this morning.”
"A Great Dane can still make a Chihuahua pregnant," Liz points out. "Guess which one you are."
“Is it dumb to press a strange button on an even stranger spaceship?
Yes, yes it is.”
My big alien falls to his knees and groans. He presses kisses to my stomach and then my pussy, and then holds my hips and puts his mouth directly on me. I gasp and my knees get weak, so I have to cling to one of his horns again.
I have finally done it. I have read one of the most well known and well loved monster romances of all times and as usual, I have a few words...
Starting with: I never intended to take this book seriously, I was expecting the naughtiest, dirtiest, and most absurd story in the world. It obviously delivered on the hilarity with: "It wasn't a monster coming to eat me, it was a monster coming to eat me out."
It touched the deepest female parts of my soul whenever she made very clear that men on planet earth aren't capable of giving good head.
As the female species, we have been in a constant state of despair for so long (apparently since 2015, when this book was originally published) that the idea of being abducted from your house in your pajamas into a different GALAXY, mated with a 7 feet tall giant alien who is willing to go down on you without you ever even voicing that want, is more believable than a cisgender heterosexual man being faithful to you.
As a woman, it has shocked me and depressed me at the same time that the idea of having a blue man with horns and a ridged penis completely ruin your bussy is more appealing to me at this point than going on a tinder date.
These women were abducted and removed from everything they knew and everyone they loved. Their jobs, their houses, their friends...Introduced to a freezing cold land, with avatar looking people, and for them to survive the inauspicious atmosphere they had to insert worms into their necks, have their entire bodies and faces change.
The main female character was basically impregnated without her knowledge (you know, language barrier and all), and she came to terms with all of that in the span of seven days.
Because this entire narrative is more appealing and believable than an actual human male wanting to build a family with you.
Anyways, the book was funny for the first 10 pages. After that,
about three things I was absolutely positive. First, Vektal was an alien. Second, there was a part of him-and I didn’t know how potent that part might be-that was definitely better than any human man. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably bored by him and his entire book.
Maybe it was the insta-love of it all? I am not sure. This series is so popular and I thought I was going to encounter some struggle coming from the female character with the whole narrative, resistance even. Maybe if we have gotten some angst? I think the love-dovey thing of it all also threw me off. It was funny for a second, but it's not worth the repetition.
I don't know what bothers me more, how boring this was or that I completely understand her decision to never come back to earth and to accept to make babies with blue horned people.
Unfortunately, after the initial curiosity wore off, that was it. He worshipped her, gave her a lot of oral (the scenes were pretty mild compared to the expectations you guys built), she fell in love with him in six days, got pregnant and decided to never come back to earth. It was a novella and it still felt like such a looooooooooong read.
I guess we can't win. Not even 7 feet tall blue men, with ridged rabbit vibrator like shaped penises who are there to be forever faithful to you and only you will satisfy my disconsolate, despaired and demoralized heart. Here or on a different galaxy, that's what love is.
This book just reminded me of how much I hate men. LMAO Because they drive us to the brink of madness to the point where a book like this needs to be written so we can get slightly close to the experience, at least once in our lives, of what it feels like to be loved unconditionally.
sorry for the bitter review, I am on my period
Anyways, other than that - the constant star wars references were so annoying (and I am a huge star wars fan), the world building was pretty cool and creative, so points for that. The two stars are for the few giggles it got out of me. But it’s honestly shocking that even with ALL OF THIS BUILD up and this UNLIKELY plot, this book was still EXTREMELY boring. It takes real talent LMAO