Wall of Kiss

by Gina Ranalli

A woman. A wall. Sometimes love blooms in the strangest of places... What would happen if a woman, tired of previous broken relationships, instead fell in love with her wall? Would she be spurned yet again, or would it be a match made in heaven? Gina Ranalli is the author of Suicide Girls in the Afterlife, 13 Thorns (with outsider artist Gus Fink) and Chemical Gardens.

Genres: Bizarro Fiction, Horror, Short Stories, Humor, Fiction

89 pages, Paperback

First published October 21, 2007

About the author

Gina Ranalli is the author of several novels, including Mothman Emerged, Rumors of My Death, Praise the Dead, House of Fallen Trees, Suicide Girls in the Afterlife, Chemical Gardens, Wall of Kiss, and Mother Puncher. Her collection, 13 Thorns (with Gus Fink) won the Wonderland Book Award for Best Story Collection of 2007. Her short stories have appeared in numerous publications including Bits of the Dead, The Beast Within, Horror Library Volume 3, and Dead Science, among others.

Gina lives in Washington state where she is working on her next novel. You can communicate with her online at www.ginaranalli.com and on twitter at http://twitter.com/GinaRanalli

Reviews

[Vicki Herbert · Rating 4 out of 5]

Next Time
Things Will Be Different...

WALL OF KISS
by Gina Ranalli

No spoilers. 4 stars. The large 6 x 12 wall in the woman's living room was perfect as it was...

Free of decorations and paintings...

The man, Troy, had dumped the woman after having sex with her on the first date, but the wall made her feel strong again...

She knew...

She shouldn't have had sex with Troy on their first date. Now she was wiser. The rebound boyfriend would wait for it. Next time...

But for now...

She was content with her wall. Every time she glanced over at it, she blushed and smiled and became giddy...

Feeling shy...

She tried to avoid "eye" contact with the wall, but sometimes it was unavoidable...

Against her better judgment...

She was falling in love with the wall. She called it Wally and thought of ways to please it, but for now...

Sex was out...

Anything worth having was worth waiting for. This was a test to see if Wally was worth her time, trust, and love...

Then one night...
They finally made love...

This is a bizarre story about a woman's love affair with a wall. Was the woman any wiser since being dumped by her previous boyfriend?

Not a horror story, but it is totally insane!

[Peter · Rating 5 out of 5]

After her latest relationship with a man fails, a woman (she's never named) falls in love with a wall (named Wally). Does she find luck with an inanimate object? The storyline sounds simple but the author develops a page turning well written bizarre story of a woman slowly falling into complete madness (dialogues with the wall, even sex with it!). At parts she reminded me on Annie Wilkes, the main character of Stephen King's Misery. This is real everyday horror at its finest. Do you fell for her? No, but it's fascinating to see how everyday life can turn into something else. How the story ends? Well, you have to find out for yourself. It's a quick read you won't regret. Highly recommended!

[Krystal · Rating 3 out of 5]

Why yes I did just read a short story about a woman who falls in love with a wall.

It was fkn WEIRD. And yet ... the story reads like a perfectly common relationship.

That's where the horror is: this woman goes through all of the stages of a normal relationship - awkward flirting, first date, conversations, physical interactions, arguments, etc. - and the only strange thing about it is the fact that the object of her affections is a wall.

It's actually quite fascinating and a statement on how much of our relationships are lived in our head. This woman is quite clearly insane, but the thoughts she has towards Wally are not so different from other complaints you hear about relationships. As I mentioned, it's all eerily familiar, and that's what makes it such a terrifying tale.

Somehow, it was strangely addictive.

[Peter Topside · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars. Wow…just wow. This was extraordinarily creative. I’ve both written and read some truly tragic characters, but this, damn near, beat them all. Our lead character had, perhaps, the most spectacular meltdown of our time. And, as the reader, you struggled with how to react to her intense and unrealistic feelings and behaviors. You wanted to feel sorry, but then you got annoyed, and then angry, and it just made you feel everything. The author took such a strange concept and made it into some extremely unique and memorable. It came up a smidge short with some of our character’s background, but did give enough to satisfy certain plot points. However, when taking a deep dive into someone’s trauma and delusions, especially at this level, you really wanted to have some additional context. But, beyond that minor critique, this was one banger of a book.

[Kathryn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a novella about a woman who falls in love with a wall. There's not much else to it and yet I was totally absorbed from the start. I can not remember the last time I felt immersed in such insanity. The woman is bat-shit crazy and then some. She is the icky, creepy crazy you can sense in rare individuals, such as exs and certain co-workers. Part of that is meant as sarcasm. Well, maybe not.

Every little thing this character did, no matter how mundane, gave me the willies and that is why I loved the story so much. Ranalli took an inelaborate idea and managed to seize and hold my interest until the very end. The suspense continued to build and build, and I expected a memorable ending. Sadly, the ending was a slight letdown, being a little too predictable. Yet I still strongly recommend this unique story. I hope Ranalli has further stories published.

[Zoe · Rating 4 out of 5]

In this bizarro romance, an unnamed woman starts a bounce back relationship with her living room wall after breaking up with her human boyfriend. The relationship progresses through many stages before obsession becomes madness, and then things end badly for all parties involved.

This is the third book by Gina Ranalli that I've read (The first two being Suicide Girls in the Afterlife and Swarm of Flying Eyeballs, both awesome stories), and her narrative style makes the nameless woman's story believable. The very limited focus of the narrator helps show how self-absorbed the woman is in her life, how complete her madness is. Her interactions with other people are brief, and rarely does anyone else actually speak. It's clear that other people get that she's seeing a wall, and that they know she's crazy. But it isn't so clear to the woman that she is.

The real depths of her devotion come out during her conversations with the wall, which alternately made me shake my head or giggle with each twist in the story. The wall goes through some real changes that are catalytic moments. But most of the wall's biggest faults are all the product of the woman's mind. These insecurities that she has about all relationships pushes her to remove "Wally" from a pedestal and see him as a silent troublemaker. It's creepy and funny, and also sad and captivating.

In short, Wall of Kiss is a fantastic story and a fascinating character study of one woman's descent into sin with her wall. I give Wall of Kiss 4 stars and recommend it to all fans of bizarro fiction.

[allie (▰˘◡˘▰) · Rating 3 out of 5]

the wall being a republican was the biggest plot twist of the book

[Carolina · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.8 ⭐️ I'm really enjoying dipping my toes in the bizarro genre right now. This short story didn't disappoint. Gina did a great job at setting the tone for something so unusual, that at times I even forgot this relationship wasn't a normal one. It was a totally lovely and deranged treat to have. Need more of this in my library for sure.

[Bandit · Rating 3 out of 5]

Aha. So this is bizarro. I've read some before, but this is probably the first purely psychological bizarro story I've encountered. At first it seemed like too ridiculous of a concept to milk into a novella length, but Ranalli did well. At first it seemed like too nonsensical of a subject to read about and review, but Ranalli succeeded there also turning the initially odd premise of a woman in love with her wall into a clever send up/satire of relationship politics. Turned out to be a pretty entertaining read. Quick too. For something weird, original and different. Recommended.

[Stacy (Gotham City Librarian) · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was only about 50 pages so I’m not counting it towards my reading goal. I liked the weird concept but I think it was essentially a portrayal of both abusive relationships and mental illness and I kind of wish it had just been a story about a lady screwing a wall. Maybe my demands are too simple sometimes.

[Christy Stewart · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved it. A wonderful romance novel for objectum-sexuals; and they need it.

[jere · Rating 2 out of 5]

Honestly? Good for her.

[camilla · Rating 4 out of 5]

when i saw Gina's name as the author of a bizarro book, i immediately got interested, because i had never read bizarro fiction written by a woman.
this book is brilliant, i wish it would become a movie. i'd definitely watch it, i could see every scene in my mind, specially the one when the woman gives up cleaning. i could see her coming home one day and screaming at her wall for being scared of an ant. this is a taste of what the human mind can do, because i don't doubt the fact that there must be people who fetichize walls. the difference is that this character goes as far as feeling jealous toward a wall. she literally wanted the wall to propose to her, she listened to the wall talking, she cooked for the wall. she sacrificed her well being in order to be close to the wall - she slept on the floor to be close to the wall. she became mad because of her romantic relationship with a wall.
i love it and i'm going to read more of Ranalli's work. awesome!

[Dierdra McGill · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book! It was a strange story but the writing was very well done and I could almost feel the woman's passion and obsession for the wall.
The book was very strange but then again that is what I loved about it so much.

[Gertrudis Fortinbras · Rating 5 out of 5]

Inicio y desarrollo de la historia ha sido interesante. Con ciertos puntos de humor negro. Pero el final es previsible. Y para mi un poco decepcionante.

[ZeeZee So Cool · Rating 2 out of 5]

Yeah, no i’ve no idea what to say. This book could either be very shallow amd superficial and you could think the protagonist was just crazy
OR
You could delve super deep into the nuisances and her actions and microscopically examine why she did what she did and her state of mind when doing whatever she was doing (did i just accidentally birth a tongue twister?)
So yes, it really depends on how YOUR STATE OF MIND IS whenever you read this, but for me, it wasn’t entertaining enough for me to even consider it as time well spent.

[Dark And Thorny · Rating 4 out of 5]

OKAY SO this book was WEIRD. Like Edgar Allen Poe’s the Tell Tale Heart mixed with desperate middle aged erotica weird. And I. Am. Here. For. It. I really enjoyed this story because I spent the whole time cringing and thinking to myself “what’s even happening?!” But I couldn’t stop reading it 🤣 I 100% recommend this book if you like questioning your sanity for 50 some odd pages. There is nothing like a good “descent into insanity” story to get me hooked!

[Alaz A. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Of course the fucking wall is a republican.

It was a short read delivered the casual horror elements really well. It also shows how a great part of our relationships are lived in our own minds. Often its not what your partner did, it is what you imagined/assumed their reasons and feelings as.

I just wish she interacted with other people more.

[See Kritz Read · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 rounded up.

This is about a woman-wall romance. I'm not sure what else to say except it was fucking weird and captivating.
It also shows the importance of making sure you know your wall's political stances before having sex with it. Lesson learned!

[frkvinter · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well, this was a strange read.

I really like Ranalli's writing and will def. continue reading her books :)

[Sally · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very odd love story. It seemed a bit one-sided.

[Robert Beveridge · Rating 3 out of 5]

Gina Ranalli, Wall of Kiss (Afterbirth Books, 2007)

I've been hearing Gina Ranalli's name for a few years now, and decided it was time to see what all the fuss was about. I picked up two of her books, Praise the Dead (for everything is better with zombies; I'll read it this month) and Wall of Kiss, which many of my bizarro-loving acquaintances have gushed over. I got the idea, from what I'd heard, that it was a straight-up fetish novel about a woman who falls in love with a wall. Yeah, there's an element of that, but as an overall picture of the book, it couldn't be less accurate, and I was very pleased by that.

Yes, this rather slim book starts with our heroine (who remains nameless throughout) being dumped by her current beau, falling in love with the wall, wooing it, etc. It doesn't take long before things get into much more interesting (from my perspective, anyway) territory, though; the relationship gets rocky, pardon the pun, and what we get is a meditation on a disintegrating relationship where one of the members is the strong, silent type. Very strong, and very silent.

The majority of the bizarro books I've read (and that number will certainly be going up next year) have one thing in common: they're short. Novellas, really, more than novels. They forgo a lot of what I look for in a book; character development, pacing variations, organically-built suspense, that sort of thing. I'm waiting for the bizarro novel that works on both levels, both as bizarro and as novel. I have no doubt it will show up eventually. Gina Ranalli's skills here show that she is one of those who is capable of writing it. ***

[Noodle · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was very disappointed with this one, considering all the praise it gets. First, it's not a terribly original story, as one of the most famous cases of 'objectum sexualis' (intimacy/love with an inanimate object) is the story of Wall Winther (not her real name), who fell in love with the Berlin wall. The story made headlines all over the world.

Imagine this: an 80-something page novella about the relationship between a man and a woman. Not an unusual relationship, mind you. There's dates, there's sex (really, it's not graphic, and we're just told sex took placee), there's a lot of sitting around watching television, and there's the typical jealousies and squabbles.

That's 'Wall of Kiss'. Except instead of a man, the love object is a wall. And oddly enough, that doesn't really change the dynamic of the relationship. The woman interacts with the wall the same way she would a man, meaning you get 80-something pages of utter boredome (television, dinners, squabbles).

What's strange is that no one really knows what a nut she is. No one comes to her home to experience her lunacy, so there's no interest/tension added to the story.

The author does have a quick and fun writing style, but it certainly didn't save this story. I never would have finished this one if it hadn't been so short.

[Grant Wamack · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wall of Kiss is a bizarro novella by Gina Ranalli. Some of you may know Ranalli is one of my favorite bizarro authors so I always have high expections for her books.

Does she rise to the occasion?

Yes.

After a rough breakup with her boyfriend, a woman begins to fall in love with a wall inside her home. They go through all the usual stages in a relationship: puppy love, hot sex, arguments, and a tense breakup that leaves both parties damaged in multiple ways.

The wall doesn’t speak or move, but the woman believes she can hear everything the wall is thinking and saying. Ranalli actually infuses the wall with personality by association and this is a testament to her serious writing chops.

The story is weird but this is bizarro folks. I think what Ranalli actually tries to do is explore the concept of love and relationship through the use of metaphor.

The plot could have easily gotten out of control or gone the silly route, but in the expert hands of Gina Ranalli, Wall of Kiss becomes something both emotionally resonant and heartwarming.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gina Ranalli does an amazing job of telling a story of love between a woman and one of the walls in her home. The relationship is described in such a way as to clearly and beautifully depict something nearly identical to an average dysfunctional human relationship. The insight the author gives into the psychology of the unstable lover is graceful and flows with incredible ease. I would recommend this book to any fan of the Bizarro genre.

[natercopia · Rating 3 out of 5]

A short read with an odd obsession with a wall. You could feel the relationship going downhill in this book. Ranalli has brought forth a good study of an unstable mind. Tangled up with all the emotions you could think off after a bad breakup makes an interesting story to start up with. Although at some point, I wish that the main character would stop nagging at the wall so much. First book from Ranalli and I'm liking what I read. Definitely will be checking out more of her books.

[Rich · Rating 5 out of 5]

Comparisons to Charlotte Perkins Gilman's "The Yellow Wallpaper" are obvious, yes. But like Gilman, Ranalli is able to slowly unravel the sanity of a character until nothing is left.

[Chris Bowsman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very intriguing story about obsession. Extremely quick read, and includes what may be the best sex scene ever.

[Ignatius · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very odd, but not quite bizarro. Which isn't a bad thing, just something worth noting. Reminds me a bit of a particular Edgar Allan Poe story crossed with a doomed relationship story.

[Lixi_pop ThompSon · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was a fast read, I personally read this book in a few hours. It is fresh and amusing.Romance novels should take a page from this book.