Mention My Name in Atlantis

by John Jakes

A courtesan for hire, a brainless hunk, and alien invaders combine to bring about ancient history’s most momentous catastrophe in John Jakes’s hilarious take on the fall of Atlantis

For centuries the mystery of the lost continent of Atlantis has intrigued mortals everywhere. Who lost it? Where did it go? At last the truth is out—or at least the truth according to Hoptor the Vintner, respectable Atlantean wine merchant and not-so-respectable pimp.

According to Hoptor, the blame for Atlantis’s destruction can be placed squarely on the incredibly broad shoulders of Conax the Chimerical, a none-too-bright, broadsword-wielding barbarian chieftain. Conax washed ashore just as Atlantis’s ruler was losing his health and his grip on the kingdom, creating chaos throughout the island. Now things were really about to go south. All of a sudden Hoptor had a lot more to worry about than how to silence the unrelenting nagging of Aphrodisia, the beautiful, strident prostitute he had promised to marry in a moment of weakness. Now the ever-resourceful, vino-loving procurer of female flesh was being called on to possibly save the world as well as his own skin—which would prove to be no small feat, with Conax mucking up everything he touched in his inimitable fashion. And then there were those strange golden discs flying high above everybody’s heads . . .

Genres: Fantasy, Science Fiction, Fiction, Humor, Sword and Sorcery, Science Fiction Fantasy, Ebooks

142 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1972

About the author

John William Jakes, the author of more than a dozen novels, is regarded as one of today’s most distinguished writers of historical fiction. His work includes the highly acclaimed Kent Family Chronicles series and the North and South Trilogy. Jakes’s commitment to historical accuracy and evocative storytelling earned him the title of “the godfather of historical novelists” from the Los Angeles Times and led to a streak of sixteen consecutive New York Times bestsellers. Jakes has received several awards for his work and is a member of the Authors Guild and the PEN American Center. He and his wife, Rachel, live on the west coast of Florida.

Also writes under pseudonyms Jay Scotland, Alan Payne, Rachel Ann Payne, Robert Hart Davis, Darius John Granger, John Lee Gray. Has ghost written as William Ard.

Reviews

[Karl · Rating 4 out of 5]

DAW Collectors #25

Cover Artist: H. J. Bruck

Jakes, John William (Birthdate: 31 March 1932)

Alternate Names: Alexander Blade, Robert Hart Davis, Darius John Granger, Alan Henry, John W. Jakes, Alan Payne, Jay Scotland, S. M. Tenneshaw, C. H. Thames, Allen Wilder

The continent of Atlantis had troubles enough before Conax the Barbarian washed ashore. For Hoptor the Vintner, who considered himself a citizen of importance, things were going from bad to worse. The king was on his last legs, his generals were plotting, there were those scary lights in the sky, and Hoptor's favorite girl was being put up for auction on the slave block.
Then Conax, the self-styled king of Chimeria - a place nobody ever heard of - turned up at the auction with his broadsword, his barbaric manners, and his hair-trigger temper.
That wasn't the last straw.

This is the first Jakes book I tread. this book good, it had a good mix of science-fiction, fantasy, and “historical” aspects to the story, and good banter.

John Jakes, is the author of "Brak the Barbarian" and many more fast-moving novels.

[Lizz · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don’t write reviews.

This is the first and only accurate account of what happened to the land known as Atlantis. Heavy material, but worth the effort.

[Don Gerstein · Rating 4 out of 5]

I purchased this book because of the author, banking that his name should be enough to guarantee at least a better than average story, and I am happy to say that I guessed correctly.

“Mention My Name in Atlantis” is a fun read, a history of what happened to Atlantis as told through the eyes of one of its citizens. The story is told as a farce, and Mr. Jakes leads us on an adventure as told by Hoptor, a businessman who specializes in furnishing prostitutes for the Atlanteans. Throw in a spaceship crewed by blue aliens, one desperate courtesan, and a semi-familiar barbarian named Conax and you have a recipe for a romp. Four stars.

[Richard · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a humorous, entertaining read.

Hoptor the Vintner is our guide through this frenetic mess during the last days of Atlantis. Hoptor is a Vintner, but his vintages are of a different variety. His world is turned on its ear when he comes under the notice of the authorities and a certain barbarian. Antics and much broken furniture ensue.

Personally I would loved to have seen this as a film. Preferably filmed in the late '60's, starring Benny Hill as Hoptor. Can you imagine? A cult classic maybe?

Recommended!

[Charles · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a novel of the fall of Atlantis written with Jake's tongue firmly in his cheek. Although a lot of folks find it funny, I'm very picky about humor in fiction and didn't think it was all that good.

[Nicholas Perez]

What I say to my teammates every time I die in a video game

[Bandit · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this book from netgalley for review purposes. Until now I was under the impression that netgalley only offers new titles, however this one was a digital reprint of a 1972 novel. Of course, the book being a fantasy, the age didn't matter. The author's foreword states that the book was partly inspired by musical theatre and partly by high adventures of the mythical, specifically barbarian, kind. It sounds like an odd, if auspicious, mix, but it really worked out in this case. It became the best selling book of author's career, reprinting several times and now available in digital format. Thing is, me, I'll read any book about Atlantis. The mythical island has always held a certain kind of fond fascination. And this story with its theatrically inspired campiness and humor and high flying antics was by far the most entertaining take on the subject I've yet come across. The collection of characters alone was priceless, from its most reluctant and unlikely of heroes...the smooth talking well connected favor trading vintner whose fine vintages aren't necessarily restricted to wine, his needy lady friend, his most impressive thews flexing Conax the Chimerian (in a hilarious homage) and so many others equally festive Atlanteans, and those are only from our plate (read story for reference) of existence. There are also blue extraterrestrials with their own agenda. And so with all that's going on, Atlantis has never been a more popular place to visit, nor more dangerous one to live in. Fortunately we the readers are provided with a play by play account of just what happened during the last days of Atlantis and while as a theory it's just as plausible as the next one, it's infinitely more fun. Nicely written too, with some terrific well placed archaic terms. The only minor detractor was a hint of recurring homophobia, which probably would have gone unnoticed or dismissed when the story first saw light, but seems like something that might have been politically corrected during one of the later publications. There were minor editing glitches as well, but not enough to detract from the reading experience, which was an overwhelmingly positive and enjoyable one. Great light entertainment. Recommended.

[Metaphorosis · Rating 3 out of 5]

reviews.metaphorosis.com

2.5 stars

Hoptor, procuror and nominal vintner to the Atlantean nobility, runs into difficulty with a delivery, difficulty that only increases with the arrival of Conax the barbarian, and some tall, blue-skinned aliens with mysterious ships.

I first encountered John Jakes through his brilliant Secrets of Stardeep, a first-rate young adult SFF story. Some time later, I found On Wheels  a projection that's still interesting in the US' auto-focused culture. By that time, though, Jakes had gone on to his highly successful historical novels, and left SFF behind.

Not all of Jakes' SFF was good. Sadly, that's the case with Mention My Name in Atlantis. It's a farce with the best of intentions, wrapping together Atlantis, Conan, and UFOs, with some of the feel of Martin Scott's later Thraxas series. Scott, however, does it better. Mention My Name simply isn't very funny. It has plenty of useful material, but it doesn't build to very much. Hoptor is amusing, but only mildly. The best scenes are those with Conax, when Jakes pokes fun at Howard's over-muscled barbarian king. Overall, some of the scenes are good, but the plot is thin, and the ending an afterthought. It feels like just what Jakes describes in the introduction - something tossed off to amuse himself, but not really worth a larger audience.

Mildly amusing, but Jakes has better books, and Martin Scott's Thraxas series does this same thing better.

NB: Received free copy from Net Galley. 

[zxvasdf · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fun quick read. My mind insisted in casting Hoptor as Philoctetes, the satyr from the Disney animated feature Hercules. It also manifested Conax not as Schwarzenegger, as you would expect for one who had his first, admittedly bland and diluted, taste of Robert Howard through the cinematic medium, but as Kronk from yet another Disney animated feature The Emperor's New Groove.

This potentially true account of Atlantis' disappearance from the history books is rough-hewed from the mental thews of a skilled writer, resulting not in subtleties of characterization, but a full-blown caricature of character types. Hoptor is a collector of favors, and when it hits the fan, he expects all debts to be repaid! Our plump vitner has to keep his wits together, even as events conspire to separate it from his neck. John Jakes does very well in portraying a man navigating a pandering, entitled society, and stirs the pot by throwing in a parody of the Howardian barbarian. That in itself is messy enough without the "supernatural" element that is not so subtly introduced.

History is written by the victors, and we can be sure history, if it is ever read, as told by Hoptor will cast him in a friendlier light.

[Icy_Space_Cobwebs Join the Penguin Resistance!]

REVIEW: MENTION MY NAME IN ATLANTIS by John Jakes

A riproaring science fiction fantasy tribute to legendary author Robert E. Howard, whose Conan the Barbarian stories are beloved of so many rapt readers, MENTION MY NAME IN ATLANTIS features barbarian Conax the Chimerical and the hapless Hopter, whose first-person narrative memoir is the modus OF the story. If you've ever pondered the end of Atlantis, check this version out.

[Rick · Rating 4 out of 5]

A pimp, a barbarian, and an alien walk into a bar in Atlantis....

Yes, it sounds like the beginning of a bad joke. However, the author whose works include The Bastard and North and South, does a fairly good job of writing a tongue in cheek adventure, weaving in those disparate elements into a coherent story. While humorous in places, it wasn't a laugh out loud novel, but more of an amusing or light satirical take on some of the Atlantis and UFO mythology.
The story was well crafted, it kept you interested and didn't waste a lot of time on extraneous descriptions or narratives that were not needed. Characters were believable in the context of the story, and given enough depth to understand motivations and actions. Given the caliber of the author, this is not unexpected. It was a short read, but anything longer would have bogged down the story.

[Cesar Felipe · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 Stars!

A wonderful and highly entertaining story, with a twist worthy of the Atlantis name.

A recent fascination for stories told in the mythical Atlantis drove me to this book, and being the shortest one of the collection I've gathered, it's the first I've read.

This one is a curious item, since for starters it's first and foremost a comedy, and all the events and circumstances are propelled by a cast of silly but charismatic characters. Second, I'm glad that it takes the Atlantis subject with seriousness despite its humorous purpose. In short, it takes advantage of the uniqueness of the Atlantis legend in a couple of ways. Given its mostly grounded classic era setting, it could have easily boiled down to "disaster in a Greek city" story, but thankfully it becomes much more than that by the end. Not only does it give the city of Atlantis and its people a personality, but it puts it in a series of perils that was fascinating to see unfold.

But the heart of this story is its characters, chiefly Hoptor the Vintner. An average-looking but highly charismatic personage, he has cultivated a network of relationships all throughout Atlantis, and he must use his charisma and collection of favors to get out of trouble with the governing forces of the city.

And to be clear, while it is advertised and discussed as a Conan The Barbarian pastiche, the Conax character (which is very evident that it is Conan inspired, and is something the author literally admits) is only part of the cast, not its main piece. The cast of characters is rounded up by Aphrodisia, a lady of the night, and several members of the Atlantean high court and military, plus other Atlantean citizens. Hoptor and his colleagues get into trouble against the government and once Conax gets in the picture the problems only magnify. These and every single other character in the book overflows with charisma and amusement, and it's a joy to watch them interact with each other leading to humorous and perilous situations nonstop.

So while it doesn't need to lean heavily on the Atlantean myth to entertain, it definitely adds a couple of twists that make it justified to make Atlantis its setting. It obviously treads the tale of the expected disaster that the city is doomed to suffer, via premonitions and uncontrolled debauchery that the rulers of Atlantis have fell into and that the main characters oppose. But most important of all, it very early introduces the idea of UFOs being sighted which eventually leads to the appearance of the Zoropians and how they interfere with an already volatile situation leading to calamity for Atlantis. All of these aspects elevate it from an already entertaining period piece comedy, and into a much more exciting and fun adventure in this setting. In any other place, these elements (including the Conax aspects) would clash with each other and be absurd to have in one place. But thanks to this being a proper Atlantis story, they are very welcome and fit perfectly into the story.

So while this book doesn't delve too deep into the Atlantis mythology itself, it does bring a set of unique and highly entertaining elements to the fray that work together wonderfully to make a unique and surprising comedy, full of heart and a fantastic sense of adventure. And that's what an Atlantis tale should be about!

[Javier A. · Rating 4 out of 5]

A delightful satirical read with laughs and sniggers within every page. I didn't expect such a tale, the cover art and summary upon the back of the book inviting me to partake in an entirely different tale than the one I found within its pages. I dare not spoil much, but there are some niggles I have with this book —namely, the queer representation.

The general of Atlantis' army, General Pythos, is a power-hungry bisexual who doesn't so much as acknowledge the death of Captain Num, his effeminate homosexual lover, who relents to his every whim and blubbers when Pythos so much as insinuates he'll have his way with another woman, and the main character is mocked for lying that he prefers eunuchs over women. The book also includes a scene wherein characters are forced to be paired up, though in that same scene it makes clear that it is fine with polygamy, so I guess it evens out? In any case, the main character himself is no saint, and the whole book is seeking to draw out laughs rather than posit how one should live about their life, so it is difficult to ascertain how much of it is genuine, but the homophobia takes a few steps too many.

[Chris M · Rating 3 out of 5]

A fun, inoffensive parody of Conan. Hoptor the Vintner is our protagonist and probably unreliable narrator, a lovable rogue who thinks he is more important than he is. Into the world of Atlantis comes Conax the Chimerical (not at all trying for subtlety here are we?), along with other unexpected visitors that will upend Atlantis entirely.

The humor doesn't always fit, and some of the slapstick moments are a bit over the top, but it's a quick read and entertaining. It skewers some of the intricate word play that made Conan so fascinating, but seeing Conan from an outsider's perspective makes it worthwhile.

[Hannibal · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was pretty awful. A few laughs here and there, but the author’s attempts at being funny are all too often, and all to annoying. Some of the character names are just dumb and lazy. The use of exclamation points is incredibly irritating. There will be areas where the writing seems like it’s becoming good, like something interesting is going to happen, but then it plummets like Enron on the stock market.

[Bill Riggs · Rating 4 out of 5]

Humorous Conan pastiche that details the last days of the island kingdom of Atlantis. It doesn’t bode well for the island when the barbarian is washed ashore amid increasing storms, while at the same time mysterious blue figures begin arriving in ships from the sky. Hilarity ensues as Atlanteans face barbarian hordes and alien invaders before sinking into history.

[Guy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I haven’t cared for the author’s more popular works, but this one holds a special place in my heart. There was a time, many years ago in college during winter break, when I was stuck in an R. E. Howard reading binge. This book was the antidote — I laughed out loud, and couldn’t read any Howard for quite a while. Thank you, John Jakes.

[Jon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is my first John Jakes novel and he certainly has a way with words. I did not know it when I picked it up but this is a comedic novel with a parody of Conan shipwrecked in Atlantis but the main character and narrator is an unsavory Atlantis "businessman" who gets into all sorts of trouble, including negotiating with aliens. A fun romp.

[Tom · Rating 3 out of 5]

A lightly comedic send up of Conan, Kull, and the legion of their imitators. Comedy in general has a way of aging strangely, but if you're a fan of fictional barbarians, there's a solid shot this might put a sensible chuckle in your thews.

[Loren C · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m sure this book was a ton more interesting before we invented the internet. It was a decent read but these days I’ve read better. For its time though, probably groundbreaking.

[Jakurt Guthorst · Rating 3 out of 5]

Wirklich witzig war das Buch nicht, der Humor war sehr flach und ist schlecht gealtert. Es hat aber einen guten Lesefluss, trotz nur mäßig interessantem Plot.

[Nathan Livsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fun little jaunt. A pretty quick read with memorable characters and a fun plot.

[Mary · Rating 1 out of 5]

Boring, i could not finish. Goes beyond juvenile to just plain stupid!

[Bea · Rating 4 out of 5]

A "true" history of the fate of Atlantis

A fun romp through the last few days of Atlantis' existence as written by the individual who, with the help of a few others, was the cause of its demise.

[Hilde Helseth]

'A book by an author who shares your zodiac sign' A Conan parody by the author of 'North and South'. Have read a bit of Conan comics. A Taurus like me, he's born March 31th, me May 3rd.

[Mommacat · Rating 3 out of 5]

Forget everything you have ever been told about, read about, or daydreamed about the magical city of Atlantis of long ago. A glorious island city, full of wise, gentle, people whose knowledge of the Art, Science, Medicine, and Philosophy was unbounded.

Buckle up and get ready for a ride more twists and turns that the wildest rollercoaster you can imagine. If you suffer from Attention Deficit Disorder, you might not agree with this statement. Indeed, you may will consider it quite linear. However, be forewarned, the ride is wilder than a run down the Colorado rapids during spring run off, and just as exciting.

Hoptor the Vintner is our guide on this crazy ride. Of course, letting Hoptor get involved in anything makes as much sense as letting an elephant and mouse loose in an outhouse. He has more schemes, workarounds, and plays on human weaknesses than all the members of Congress combined! [NOTE: Do not send your members of Congress a copy of this book].

While this is clearly not my grandfather's John Jakes novel, the author warns the reader in his introduction that this is a departure from his normal novel - an understatement matched only by the actions of Hoptor and his fellow Atlanteans (and an few uninvited guests). But, you MUST read the intro as it sets the stage for all that follows, in my humble opinion.

The only distraction, and I find it in most books, are spelling errors. Before re-releasing the book, find some editors who can recognize simple spelling errors. That is why the invention of word processing software has improved the lives of so many. But, it doesn't replace good editing.

I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my review.

[Mike · Rating 4 out of 5]

John Jakes is best known for his voluminous historical novels (North & South, The Kent family chronicles, etc.) but he was also a member of the "Swordsmen's and Sorcerers Guild of America" -- an informal group of writers including Fritz Lieber, Michael Moorcock, Jack Vance, Poul Anderson, Andre Norton, Lin Carter, and L. Sprague De Camp, who lead the emergence of the swords & sorcery genre in the 1960s and 70s. (S&S as a genre could certainly be traced back to the pulp fiction of the 20s and 30s, and perhaps even before that to some of Lord Dunsany's stories like "The Sword of Welleran," but it was in the 60s and 70s that it really became a recognizable and recognized genre.) Jakes created the character "Brak the Barbarian" as a sort of light-hearted homage to R.E. Howard's "Conan," but this short novel is more of a spoof of the whole S&S genre.

Hoptor the Vinter, a smooth-talking Atlantean pimp and rogue, tells the story of how "Conax the Chimerical," a northern barbarian-king, arrives in Atlantis and helps set in motion the chain of events that lead to the island kingdom's destruction. The story manages to be very entertaining despite the silliness. Hoptor is constantly scheming and fast-talking everyone around him, while Conax embodies all the worst stereotypes of the barbarian swordsman, making them an unlikely but very funny duo. The clash of cultures is enhanced by the introduction of aliens in flying saucers who hasten the downfall of the island. At less than 150 pages, it reads very quickly, and the action takes on a break-neck pace at about the mid-point so it really feels even shorter than it is.

[Dawn Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mention My Name in Atlantis by John Jakes

163 Pages
Publisher: Open Road Integrated Media, Open Road Media Sci-Fi & Fantasy
Release Date: December 16, 2014

Fiction (Adult), Sci Fi, Fantasy, Atlantis, Prostitution, Aliens, Spaceships

Everyone in Atlantis knows Hoptor the Vintner. In fact, most of them owe him favorites which he collects now and then. One unfortunate day while delivering his latest vintage order, the wheel axle on the cart breaks and the barrel rolls off. Everyone is surprised to see a half-naked woman come out of the barrel. She is taken into custody as Hoptor escapes. He must try to buy her back from the slave market in the morning.

The author wrote in the beginning of the book that he did not expect this book to ever be published and now it is in its fourth printing. What an utterly bizarre book, yet I could not stop reading it. It is well written in a nonsensical way. Hoptor is a character not soon to be forgotten. If you like reading satire comedy, you may like this book.

[William Bentrim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mention My Name in Atlantis by John Jakes

This book is a parody of the Conan books with much tongue in cheek humor and amusing action.

Hoptor the Vintner peddles a unique type of vintage. His business practices leads to societal connections that cross the entire spectrum of the Atlantis populace. It also runs him afoul of the entrenched bureaucracy.

Conax the Chimerical is a barbarian of massive stereotypes. In addition to his mighty thews he is definitively the least sharp knife in the drawer.

The two main protagonists are joined by a host of unsavory characters who play a large part in the disappearance of Atlantis. Some of the characters feel blue and are far from home seeking their own needful grail.

I have read a lot of Jakes and as amusing as this was, I enjoyed his historic fiction and the Kent family far more.

I recommend the book though.

Web Site: http://www.johnjakes.com/

[Aurora Filippi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Le vicende vengono narrate in prima persona da HOPTOR il Vinaio, cittadino della bella Atlantide e narra di come questo mitico regno ha avuto fine. Il fatto è che il nostro Hoptor non è uno stinco di santo e il suo commercio non è propriamente in vini che tutti potremmo immaginare… il nostro beniamino, infatti, commercia pregiate ragazze per signori e nobilotti se non che, sfiga vuole, che durante una consegna, Hoptor s'imbatta nel vecchio BABYLOS che sta profetando la sciagura per Atlantide.
Di lì a poco il il Generale PYTHO arriva coi suoi uomini per far sgombrare la piazza.
Capirete che per Hoptor è il caso di toglier le tende, ma l'asse del carro cede, si ribalta e ne rotola fuori il barile di pregiato vinello… che si rompe e rivela al suo interno una bella ragazza: APHRODISIA.[...]

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