Le manuel de la mauvaise mère

Bad Mother Series #1

by Kate Long

The Bad Mother's Handbook is the story of a year in the lives of Charlotte, Karen, and Nan, none of whom can quite believe how things have turned out. Why is it all so difficult? Why do the most ridiculous mistakes have the most disastrous consequences? When are you too old to throw up in a flowerbed after too much vodka? When are you too young to be a mother? Both hilarious and wise, it is a clear-eyed look at motherhood - and childhood - in its many guises, from the moment the condom breaks to the moment you file for divorce or, more optimistically, from the moment you hear your baby's first cry to the moment you realize that there are as many sorts of mother as there are children, and that love sometimes is the most important thing of all.

Genres: Fiction, Chick Lit, Contemporary, Romance, Young Adult, Humor, Female Authors

416 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2004

About the author

Hello! And welcome to my GoodReads author page.

New: Pinterest boards!
https://www.pinterest.com/volewriter/... - For my new novel, Something Only We Know

http://pinterest.com/volewriter/bank-... See where Charlotte, Karen and Nan actually live!

and my Bad Mothers Facebook page, with lots of background info on the characters and filming: http://www.facebook.com/BadMothersUnited


I write bittersweet novels about family drama and personal crises, especially stories involving the relationship between mothers and daughters.

I like my books to ask questions such as, What makes a parent good or bad? In what way does a family's history shape its present? How can we make the best of the hand which life has dealt us?

My characters tend to have 'ordinary' backgrounds - but actually I think no one is truly ordinary. We all have amazing tales to tell of risk and loss, survival and disaster and triumph, on whatever scale. The most intense dramas are often played out across a domestic stage, with unexpected discoveries and revelations, patterns repeated or shattered forever, bonds broken and new alliances formed.

I've found myself as a reader that meeting such issues in fiction can help me make sense of the real world around me.

Recurring themes in my books include adoption, pregnancy/fertility issues, mental health, sexuality, disability, infidelity and the breaking of family secrets. I also tend to set the action in a specific place around Lancashire, Cheshire or Shropshire.

Reviews

[Antonija · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't want to be one of those people who are never impressed with anything, so I gave this book 5 stars although it was not what I expected it to be. After reading the blurbs I thought this would be a funny book about generations of mother-daughter relationships, with witty dialogues and describing a kind of Gilnore Girls mother-daughter closeness. It was far from my expectations.
However, despite the person that wrote the blurbs, this book deserves all the stars it can get because it realistically describes the female relationships in a struggling lower-middle-class family, burdened with sudden teenage pregnancy (among all their other problems). The three generations of women living under the same roof all have different problems but one common quality; their quirky approach to life and dealing with their problems.
Throughout the book we encounter a whirl of problems/themes; the search for one's identity, dealing with financial problems, the struggles of a family with a member suffering from dementia, teenage pregnancy, first love, struggle for social acceptance... Without giving too much away, I will conclude by saying that this book is far from a typical chick lit. It is a wonderful book with three amazing female characters who are experiencing the greatest changes in their lives. Definitely worth reading!

[Alayna · Rating 2 out of 5]

Misleading - the reviews, the description on the jacket, even the hot pink color of the cover...all misleading. I expected chick lit, and a funny one at that. It's really neither. It's disjointed and kind of depressing. It reminds me of the movie Juno - you spend half the time wondering if you should stop reading/watching because it really isn't that good but then you've made it that far and have to finish. And in the end you think "hmm...ok that wasn't a total waste of my time but I don't think I'd go through it again."

[Eileen · Rating 3 out of 5]

For a long time I had this book on my to-read-list and I'm glad I finally came around to read it. It's light and fun, engaging, but not very exciting and/or surprising, it made me smile and the characters are very real and easy to relate to. The story is about three generations of women who live under the same roof with each their own problems: Nan, the grand-mother, has health problems, Karen, the mother, is struggling with just about everything and Charlotte, the teenage daughter, becomes unexpectedly pregnant.

My least favorite character was Karen. In the beginning she was constantly complaining about everything, so much that I wanted to slap her, because she didn't realize how good she had it, but fortunately after she met her biological mother things changed for the better.
My favorite character is Daniel who is so sweet, helpful and above all loyal. I wish that he was also mentioned at the end of the book, because I'm so curious if Charlotte and he will stay together. I hope so, because I don't think she could wish for anyone better than him. Fortunately not long ago (February 2013) the sequel to this book has been released, called "Bad Mother's United" and I'm sure I'm going to find my answers there.

The book was over all well written, but I didn't like the fact that the stories of the three women were told in the first person. It was very confusing and I had a problem figuring out who was talking.

I've seen the British Television Adaption featuring Robert Pattinson as Daniel Gale multiple times. Since I already was fond of the characters, I greatly enjoyed the extra details and the differences with the movie.

[Inita · Rating 4 out of 5]

Trīs dzimtas sievietes, gads viņu dzīvēs. Šī gada laikā notiek lielas izmaiņas viņu dzīvēs, attiecībās un rodas lielāka izpratne vienai par otru. Laba grāmata, lai apdomātu to, vai mēs pazīstam labi savus tuvos un reizēm pārrunājot vecāku dzīvi ir vieglāk viņus saprast.
Reāla bija tā ideja, kad viena no varonēm prātoja par to, ka "tēlo vecāku" un kompetenta persona pateiks, ka viņa nav vecāks bērnam un tādēļ atņems.

[Vicky Ziliaskopoulou · Rating 5 out of 5]

Μου άρεσε πολύ! Το βρήκα πολύ γλυκό και τρυφερό, είναι καλογραμμένο, αναλύει τα συναισθήματα και των τριών γυναικών σε πολύ καλό βαθμό και προχωρά πολύ γρήγορα. Δεν εμπλέκει πολλά άτομα- πράγμα που φοβόμουν γιατί όταν έχεις να πεις την ιστορία τριών γενεών μπορείς πολύ εύκολα να ξεφύγεις προσθέτοντας συνέχεια νέα πρόσωπα. Θα δω αν υπάρχει κάπου και η συνέχεια, συμπάθησα όλους τους πρωταγωνιστές και θα μου άρεσε να δω πώς προχώρησαν στις ζωές τους.

https://kiallovivlio.blogspot.com/

[Elle · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well... It wasn't what I wanted it to be. There were several flashbacks following three generations of women in different aspects of motherhood. I found the flashbacks annoying at the most. I found some of the plot line predictable and I think that as a good thing because at least that made the story easier to follow.

It's about a woman who has a middle aged woman dealing with the changing roles in her life and dealing with an acerbic teenager who is dealing with her own role in her own life. Each of the women involved don't realize how good they have it in light of the flashbacks offered by the grandmother, until the grandmother is hit with tragedy. I'll leave it at that.

[Paula Sealey · Rating 4 out of 5]

At last, a family situation we can all relate to!

Telling the story of Karen, Charlotte and Nan, three generations of women all trying to get along in one cramped council house, the book recounts a year in their lives and all the ensuing troubles. Their stories are told with such enjoyable warmth that you really care about what happens to them and how their lives will turn out.

I will definitely be reading more Kate Long books now!

[Sandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

i never bore of this book - its such an easy read and good to see teen pregnancy and family life through three generations eyes :)

Definately reccommend !

[Caroline Ridge · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lovely book, very easy to relate to characters and was touching.

[Nimanthika Hettiarachchi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious! One of the few books that got me laughing out loud and returning to pages again and again!

[Tricia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I just couldn't get into this book. I know others liked it but I found the switching between characters without any real notification of who was talking a bit disorienting.

It is fairly light as a read so might make good holiday reading

[Rosy Almendarez · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 está bueno, kinda confusing y no el gustó el desenlace con Daniel

[Ilona · Rating 4 out of 5]

So many interesting and challenging topics covered in one book! Teen pregnancy, adoption (not of the teen's baby), dementia, caring for the elderly, rising above your roots, repeating/learning from mistakes, the challenges of being a member of the sandwich generation (being both parent and caregiver of a parent)... There's a lot here, and dealt with exceedingly well.

I very much enjoyed this book, but I vacillated between three and four stars because I was so consistently annoyed by Karen, the mother in the middle.

Three women share a small home in a less-than-classy area of a less-than-affluent town. Nan, the grandmother, lives much in memory and only peripherally in real time. Still, she manages to be at times sensible and even occasionally obliquely insightful in a wry way. She is always grounded in family. She loves her daughter, Karen, she loves her granddaughter, Charlotte.

The 17-year-old granddaughter, Charlotte, is very sensible for seventeen, smart and grounded. A little lacking in self-awareness at times, but then who isn't, at seventeen? Her pregnancy is the central event of the book, and a catalyst for any number of changes.

It was the mother, Karen, who I found hard to take. At 34, she has pretty much the same emotional maturity as Charlotte, and what is tolerable in an adolescent is unspeakably annoying in an adult. Her ridiculous self-consciousness when out on a date (which leads to her making a drunken fool of herself), her utterly self-absorbed reaction to Charlotte's pregnancy, those were appalling. I was unspeakably exasperated with her dealings with her daughter.

I was frustrated because -- largely because of Karen's immaturity, I'd say -- there was no sense of a family pulling together in that household, only of three individuals leading parallel lives. It's all too easy to blame the teen for her secretiveness. I've had three; sure, they keep things to themselves, but they'll talk to you if they can trust you to be a supportive adult, not a petulant peer. They can find those every day at school...

Karen's frustrations with her mother, on the other hand, and her unhappiness with her situation, stuck in the middle, caring for everyone -- for that I had a lot of sympathy. Despite her poor behaviour with her daughter, she manages as well as can be expected with her mother.

Karen does receive a couple of smacks upside the head through the course of the book, and through these manages a credible amount of growth. No, in truth I found it a bit incredible, that this short-sighted, self-absorbed woman manage those changes in such a short amount of time, with so little introspection. It's not that Karen was unlikeable. She was just so damned immature, she was tedious.

I do like where the book ended, I did enjoy the changes in Karen. I just didn't find them particularly credible.

Charlotte and Nan, however? Lovely people, and for their sakes, and because the book delivered any number of laugh-out-loud moments, despite the serious topics, I gave it a four.

[Saski · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well, that was fun! Or as my copy says on the front cover: A really cracking read!

Not sure why I pulled this down off my shelves...it's not what I normally turn to. I was pleasantly surprised at how well written it was...I guess I was expecting crap (shame on me!) I was especially impressed on how clear the three first-person voices were. Within a few lines or even a few words, I knew who was speaking, despite how rapidly the changes happened on occasion, a paragraph, sometimes only a line. The story was light and fun but the characters became very real, at least to me.

I was disappointed in the ending, as everything turned out just fine for everyone. Sigh! After dealing with real issues in a real and hard way, I felt the author didn't have the guts to follow through. For example, stick an old lady in a rest home, I don't care how good, against her will, she is not going to thrive. Fortunately the first three-quarters of the book was not rendered irredeemable by the last quarter. I am still glad I read it.

Lines that caught my eye:

On sunny days the light makes beams of sparkly dust that drifts like random thoughts.

The only thing I can see teenagers have in common is that they've waved twelve goodbye and they haven't reached twenty yet.

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although I'm generally far from a fan of chick-lit, this book made me smile. It follows three generations of women under one roof: the increasingly confused Nan, reflecting back on her youth; middle-aged Karen, frustrated by her middle class aspirations and determined her daughter should better her lot in life; and 17-year-old Charlotte, pregnant and set on repeating all her mother's mistakes.

The book is hindered by clarity issues, especially towards the beginning, as it can be hard to discern who is narrating at any given time. Nan's thoughts are presented in a different font, whereas the more-similar-than-they-realise Karen and Charlotte are differentiated only by the occasional line-break. Charlotte's 'voice' is also somewhat suspect - sometimes a little too worldly and knowing for a plausibly frightened teenager.

Overall, though, it's an entertaining read about familial love, acceptance, and the cyclical nature of life and its many mistakes. It's also one of those rare beasts: a book I'd actually share with my own mother. Definitely worth a read, especially if you enjoyed the TV adaptation.

[Finn · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's horrific! If you're male and like me chose to play with condoms throughout sex education then it'll gross you out, and you'll probably need therapy. They should actually use this book in schools to put children and adoloescents off of sex and probably the lads from ever wanting children (at least with their wives.)

On a serious note this book is obviously aimed at women and girls of all ages (the story is narrated by three different women of varying ages all living in a somewhat claustrophobic house, think Tennessee Williams, kind of.) It has it's moment of 'laugh out loud' humour though and is not badly written; the writing style being similar to that of Adrian Mole. Reading it as a male though I learnt a thing or two about women, as I think was the point of someone *coughs* lending it to me, so lads if you're in the dog house a bit, maybe read it to cheer yourself up and get some tips. Girls you'll all like it anyway.

[Steff S (The Bookish Owl) · Rating 3 out of 5]

2024: rereading this in 2024 the whole book feels lacking. The narrator difficulties annoyed me a lot more. The plot seemed flaky in places. It annoyed me that the stuff regarding Karen seemed like it was just dropped, leaving us with the weird implication that she's having hallucinations.

.

As always a book I really like, this is the second time I've read it and I also watched the TV drama (Robert Pattinson as geeky Daniel is epic, the role suits him way better than Twilight - and I say that as a person who likes Twilight). I love that all the characters are so genuine :)

I do have 2 little gripes though. One is that they don't make it as obvious as they could with changing narrator, maybe different fonts for all 3 people? My other gripe is Nan's sections, Kate Long has written in the way they spoke out loud and for me personally it makes it rather frustrating to try and read.

[Barry Lillie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book very much, and it wasn't difficult to see why it became a best-seller and was adapted for TV. The narrative was keenly written and the characters nicely constructed. The dialogue had a smattering of dialect, but not too much, but enough to bring out the Northern charm. At the start of the book I did find it difficult to distinguish between Charlotte's voice and her mothers, but it soon settled down. I did however find the sporadic words written in upper-case off-putting. There were some lovely phrases that I really did enjoy, particularly Nan saying she was so hungry she could eat a buttered frog, and my favourite, 'the sky was like tracing paper' (genius).

[denise · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very cute book about 3 generations of women and their view of their shared lives. I enjoyed it and laughed aloud at times, especially while Charlotte (the youngest) was in labor. I've never heard anyone comparing dilation to a dinner plate.

I've read several books by British authors, and I do love a good English phrase now and again. By far, this one had me scratching my head the most. I need to pick up a good English to American dictionary before I read my next Kate Long book. And I will be reading another.

[Fiona Hopkins · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is true to life which makes it an enjoyable read with a few ‘laugh out loud’ moments. It was rather confusing in places; I didn’t know whose perspective I was reading. I felt the ending of the book was somewhat weak. The grandma was such an important part of the book but she disappeared towards the end and became more irrelevant as the story continued which I thought was a pity as she was definitely the glue that held them all together. There were a few emotional chapters and it was easy to identify with the characters at different parts of the book.

[Tracy Fells · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this in 2 days, as I couldn't bare to be away from the characters - I had to keep reading! Nobody writes mothers and daughters better than Kate Long and she doesn't disappoint in this story of 3 generations of women living under the same roof. The relationships are complex and emotional and I both laughed and cried throughout. A wonderful read.

After finishing this novel I went onto read 'Swallowing Grandma' by Kate Long as I was so into the voices of her characters. Next on the list is the sequel to 'The Bad Mother's Handbook'.

[Hilary · Rating 4 out of 5]

Upmarket chicklit, a 'three generations of women' novel. In this case, the three generations all live together in a terraced house Oop North, Nana has Alzheimer Syndrome and a catheter bag, granddaughter is doing A-levels and hoping to go to college in spite of being up the duff, and Mum is hardly in a position to blame her, being only in her mid-30s herself. Incisive writing, and believable characters.

[Sharon · Rating 4 out of 5]

I just happened on this story of three generations of women living in one house. The story alternates among the three different voices. It's refreshing to read a story about a struggling, slightly-lower-than-middle-class family, rather than the jet setters that seem to populate so many novels. The two main characters change and grow over the course of the novel, and the ending is not romantically pat.

[Tanja · Rating 4 out of 5]

While the story was confusing at times because narration switches mostly between mother Karen and daughter Charlotte with some bits and pieces from grandma Nan without announcing who's narrating at the moment, I really enjoyed this refreshing novel. Though it may seem a bit blunt at times I liked that it describes down to earth people in a real-life story and I had a good laugh at some of the comical situations.

[Katy · Rating 3 out of 5]

It took me a while to get into this book. It was very slow at the beginning and it was hard work trying to figure out who was speaking because the change of text was so similar between Karen and Charlotte. About half way through I started to enjoy it but it still wasn't the most amazing book I have ever read. I was glad to get it finished and read it quickly so it was out of the way.

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is written by my old English teacher Mrs. Long or for the older Abbey Gater's out there Miss Green! I was surprised at how funny this novel was. I believe that ITV did a TV version and got Catherine Tate as the lead which didn't surprise me at all. It's a very touching story about family and women. Highly recommended as a holiday read

[Rosemary · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book made me laugh out loud, and I cried with these women . I loved it! But I am not recommending it. You know me I read anything that sounds interesting this is by a English author and is gritty and crass, and full of sex and language, and should be in a brown paper bag, and I should be very ashamed that I read it.

[Megan Styles · Rating 5 out of 5]

I first saw the English movie (then bought it) and thought it was absolutely brilliant. And when I learned there was a book, you can't imagine how happy I was. And it was as good as I expected. Even though English humor is different from American humor sometimes, I giggled throughout this. And it was better than the movie. I love Daniel, also. So much. You can tell how much I love this book :))

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really loved this book. The characters are believable and down-to-earth and the plot reflects the good, the bad, the unexpected and the sometimes downright embarrassing events that occur in real life. Can't wait for the sequel which I think is coming out in February 2013 (Bad Mothers United), which catches up with the same characters later in their lives.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

The title of this book is what enticed me to read it. The story is told from the point of view of 3 generations of women living under one roof in England. Senile grandmother, teenage granddaughter, mom squished in the middle. Explores the meaning of family. Occasionally difficult to tell who was speaking but with a bit of work you could figure it out.