A heartbreaking and empowering debut memoir about a mother’s all-consuming love, a son’s perilous quest to discover the world beyond the front door and the unregulated homeschool system that impacts millions like him
Stefan Merrill Block was nine when his mother pulled him from school, certain that his teachers were “stifling his creativity.” With no background in education and no formal training, she began to instruct Stefan in the family’s living room. Beyond his formal lessons in math, however, Stefan was largely left to his own devices and his mother’s erratic whims. She forced him to bleach his hair and to crawl like a baby in a strange and regressive attempt to recapture his early years.
Long before homeschooling would become a massive nationwide movement, at a time when it had just become legal in his home state of Texas, Stefan vanished into that unseen space and into his mother’s increasingly eccentric theories and projects. But when, after five years away from the outside world, Stefan reentered the public school system in Plano as a freshman, he was in for a jarring awakening.
At once a novelistic portrait of mother and son, and an illuminating window into an overlooked corner of the American education system, Homeschooled is a moving, funny and ultimately inspiring story of a son’s battle for a life of his own choosing, and the wages of a mother’s all-consuming love.
Stefan grew up in Plano, Texas. His first book, The Story of Forgetting, was an international bestseller and the winner of Best First Fiction at the Rome International Festival of Literature, The Ovid Prize from the Romanian Writer's Union, the 2008 Merck Serono Literature Prize and the 2009 Fiction Award from The Writers’ League of Texas. The Story of Forgetting was also a finalist for the debut fiction awards from IndieBound, Salon du Livre and The Center for Fiction. Following the publication of his second novel, The Storm at the Door, Stefan was awarded The University of Texas Dobie-Paisano Fellowship, as well as residencies at The Santa Maddalena Foundation and Castello Malaspina di Fosdinovo in Italy. Stefan's novels have been translated into ten languages, and his stories and essays have appeared in The New York Times, The New Yorker Page-Turner, The Guardian, NPR’s Radiolab, GRANTA, The Los Angeles Times, and many other publications. Stefan's third novel, Oliver Loving, is forthcoming from Macmillan/Flatiron Books. He lives in Brooklyn.
Based on the description of this book, I was expecting a personal account of homeschooling, for better and worse. Instead, this memoir about the author’s experience of being “homeschooled” (there were very few actual lessons) by his narcissistic mother, who simply couldn’t cope with being alone and having her youngest child grow up, was devastating. Her emotional abuse and manipulation hit me very hard, yet the author presents her with respect and even affection. Despite my personal reaction to the content, this is a powerful and revealing memoir that provides much to think about.
Thank you to NetGalley and Harlequin Trade Publishing for allowing me to read an ARC of this title.
3 stars - honestly, I was a bit let down by this book. As a parent who is debating homeschooling my 2026 kindergartener, I was hoping to have a lot of insight into homeschooling from the child's perspective. Homeschooled is more focused on the author's experiences with a "toxic mom" (she clearly was dealing with major mental health issues) and less on homeschooling. The last 40 pages are very strong and emotional, however, I didn't find what I was looking for in this book.
Homeschooled would be a good read for those who enjoyed I'm Glad My Mom Died and Hillbilly Elegy.
Thank you to NetGalley and Harlequin Trade Publishing for the advanced copy. Homeschooled hits shelves on January 6, 2026.
A fascinating memoir about growing up with a very controlling and manipulative mother.
While homeschooling was a large part of his need for control that ultimately had a great impact on the authors life, I was hoping for more extrapolation on how homeschooling as a whole gives these sorts of parents a cover. While homeschooling in and of itself isn’t always a bad thing, or doesn’t mean parents will ultimately neglect and abuse their children in this way, there is often some confusion in the community where abusive families can hide, while also sharing their tips and tricks with other families who wouldn’t otherwise seek this sort of distrust of their larger community or “others”.
As someone who was homeschooled myself (in what for me was a very positive experience that prepared me for college and beyond, different from the author), I cringed as I heard the names of the popular champions of homeschooling from the 90s. Along with the common phrases and excuses for needing to abandon the public school system and those supportive of it. That mindset is STRONG among many homeschooling communities and easily leads to an even more controlling environment under the guise of more “freedom”.
Thank you to NetGalley and Harlequin Trade Publishing for providing me with a copy of this book. All opinions are my own.
I LOVE a messy, intimate family memoir and this one delivered. A mother's love turned narcissistic and dangerous, an introspective, bookish son, struggling to spread his wings...so good.
This memoir pulls you in quickly and keep you there. The author, Stefan Merrill Block, is not the first to speak out about the damage homeschooling caused him, and he won't be the last. In fact, I suspect we will continue to see an increase in stories of this type as a new wave of homeschoolers enter adulthood. However, this memoir is particularly special. Block recounts his childhood openly and honestly, with a hindsight that truly illuminates some of the real horrific experiences he had as a preteen living in isolation. However, he narrates this without judgment. He doesn't try to pass his mom off as "bad" or "good". He simply recounts his childhood, and hers, with a voice that is compelling and sympathetic. This book is a great starting point for the important conversations that need to be had regarding homeschooling.
This memoir is the January 2026 “Read with Jenna” choice for her book club. She has a fairly good track record for her choices that match my reading tastes, and I needed to read this ARC anyway, so I gave it a shot. That being said, memoirs aren’t usually part of my reading tastes.
Homeschooled, however, hooked me right in from the beginning. Before homeschooling was a thing, Stefan’s emotionally manipulative mother removed him from the structure of school to embark on unregulated homeschooling with no curriculum and questionable methods in order to keep him close and prevent him from growing up (and perhaps away). During the course of the book, we sympathize with his confusion over the love for his mother and his need to have other things in his life, and later his struggle to integrate into a society that left him behind in many ways. It is an honest, disturbing, and somehow humorous look into the author’s journey to find himself.
Thanks to Hanover Square Press/Harper Collins, Stefan Merrill Block (author), and Edelweiss for providing an advance digital review copy of Homeschooled: A Memoir. Their generosity did not influence my review in any way.
Homeschooled by Stefan Merrill Block. Thanks to @hanoversquare for the gifted Arc ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Stefan was nine when his mother pulled him from school saying it was stunting his creativity. Quickly his homeschool becomes eccentric theories and projects, or Stefan is mostly left to his own devices.
This was a fascinating memoir as we get a look into the home of a clever child, and a mother with some serious mental health and control issues. Stefan’s story shows how impactful homeschooling can be, especially in the 90’s when there was a huge push for that freedom. While Stefan’s mother believed in unschooling to hone his creativity, he fell massively behind not only academically but socially as well. The toxic environment at home just gets worse as the story is told.
“He can’t see if what he’s stepping into is a kind of gift or the worst place of all, even as he walks through the door.”
Read this if you like: -Dysfunctional family memoirs -Educational memoirs -Mother and son relationship stories
I was interested in this book as an educator and was not disappointed! It’s worth it for the last 40 pages alone. There were definitely a couple spots I laughed out loud, and I think the strength of this book is with the push-pull in the relationship with his mother. I feel like more could have been said about the broader context of homeschooling. Maybe a few spots, like his relationship with his dad, could have been expanded on, but perhaps the memoir wouldn’t have been as nimble as it is if he had. Anyway, I do recommend this book and would give it 3.5/5.
This was interesting. I think there are a lot of pros to homeschooling and the basis of this book really should have focused more on the parent relationship over the actuality of homeschooling. I know many who homeschool that have successful children both academically and socially. What the mother did at times was border line abuse, and stunted her son’s future for her own personal benefit. It’s a tried and true saying that we are parents not your friends and his mother wasn’t a parent she was trying to be his friend or rather give a friend to herself. His mother was very clearly struggling with mental health issues and no one not even the father who worked in mental health stepped in. I do think this book sheds light on how homeschool children can be abused for long periods of time without anyone checking on their well being or having present mandatory reporters in their child’s life. It seemed no one advocated for him. I feel a lot was said, but there was and is a lot more to unpack here.
A good cross between the memoirs Educated and Glad my mother is dead if those peaked your interest add this to your TBR.
When I originally requested Home Schooled from NetGalley, I believed it would be a memoir focused primarily on the homeschooling experience, what it’s like to grow up outside the traditional public or private school system. As someone who was homeschooled in Texas, I was genuinely excited to read another person’s story, especially one that explored the common assumptions: that homeschoolers are “different,” that they somehow miss out, or that their education isn’t on par with everyone else’s.
What I ended up getting was not a disappointment at all, just something much deeper, more emotional, and far more complex than I expected.
Yes, this is a memoir about being homeschooled, but it is also a story about family dynamics, mental illness, control, love, and the devastating consequences of blurred boundaries. At the center of this story is the author’s mother, a woman who is clearly intelligent and capable, but who also appears to struggle with untreated mental illness. I say this carefully and respectfully, not as a diagnosis, but as an observation based solely on what is presented in the book.
It becomes evident that homeschooling, in this case, was less about education and more about proximity. When the opportunity arose for her son to be brought home from school, she took it, not because she had a structured plan to teach him, but because she couldn’t let him go. What struck me most was the realization that she didn’t necessarily want to homeschool him; she wanted him home. She needed companionship. She needed someone close. Unfortunately, that someone became her son.
While she may have loved him deeply, and I do believe she did, that love often came at a cost. Emotionally and mentally, he was stifled. His social development was hindered. His education was inconsistent, leaving him significantly behind his peers. When he eventually re-entered the school system, he had to work twice as hard just to reach what others considered “normal.” And that struggle made him a target, bullied, isolated, and painfully aware of how different he was.
One of the most heartbreaking aspects of this memoir is how aware the author becomes, even at a young age, that something isn’t quite right. He knows his mother isn’t truly teaching him the way she should. He understands, on some level, that her fears and unresolved trauma are shaping his life. And yet, because he loves and respects her, he complies. He carries the burdens she places on him, sometimes literally, like the typewriter she insists he bring to school without protest.
The father’s role is quieter but equally troubling. He works constantly, providing for the family, but remains largely absent from the emotional reality of the household. Whether he doesn’t fully see what’s happening or is simply too exhausted to intervene, he allows his wife to maintain control. It paints a painfully familiar picture of a traditional family structure where one parent is overwhelmed and struggling, the other is disconnected, and the child is caught in between.
What makes this memoir so powerful is its honesty. The author doesn’t write with cruelty or bitterness. He writes with compassion, even when recounting moments that are deeply painful. Even later in life, and even approaching his mother’s death, there is still guilt, still emotional manipulation, still a pull he struggles to escape. That lingering grip made this story especially difficult, and impossible to forget.
This book evoked a wide range of emotions for me: sadness, frustration, empathy, anger, and deep sorrow. It’s not often that a book makes me cry, but this one did. It also gave me a new perspective, not just on homeschooling, but on how mental illness, when left untreated, can quietly reshape entire lives.
Home Schooled is not an easy read emotionally, but it is an important one. It is thoughtful, raw, and deeply human. This is a memoir that will stay with me for a long time.
This is a rare five-star read for me, and my first five-star read of the year. I highly recommend it.
Thank you to NetGalley and Harlequin Trade Publishing for the advance reader copy. This book releases January 5, and I strongly encourage readers to pick it up.
Thanks to NetGalley & Hanover Square Press for the ARC!
Stefan Merrill Block’s Homeschooled is a “toxic mom” memoir that thoughtfully threads the needle between compassion and critique.
Normally, I think a reader’s experience is irrelevant to a book review, but I was homeschooled from preschool until college. I’m either the ideal target audience or the worst possible reader for a memoir about being forcibly removed from public school, so take my comments accordingly.
Block’s memoir is ostensibly tethered to the idiosyncrasies of his particular mother, but I was surprised at how familiar she felt as an archetype within the homeschool community. In Block’s depiction, she harbors an anti-intellectual paranoia that leads her to avoid doctors while believing that white people are capable of photosynthesis. She praises Stefan with an obsession that would raise even Freud’s eyebrows, and she insists that traditional education isn’t as holistic as just sort of hanging out.
I grew up with so many kids in Stefan’s position, and, unfortunately, very few of them had the opportunity to go to high school or college. At least their moms were happy.
Perhaps because I recognized this breed of homeschooling parent, I was a little disappointed to find that the book’s title is little more than a buzzy hook. (I guess I’m Glad My Mom Died was already taken.) I wasn’t expecting a sociological treatise on homeschooling, but I do wish Block spent a bit more time writing about how his story fits into a movement. There’s a mention or two of people like Michael Farris, but Block seems to think his experience is distinct simply because his parents weren’t Christian nationalists. It’s to the book’s detriment—homeschoolers might be insular, but they don’t emerge in isolation, and this individual story isn't really unique enough to fill out so many pages.
Homeschooled is very well written, but because so much of the book surrounds Block’s struggle for identity apart from his mother, it flounders as soon as she isn’t the center of focus. Several narrative avenues, such as local suicides or Block’s burgeoning sexuality, entertain just enough of the author’s attention to cause frustration when they are immediately dropped. Many pages feel wasted when they’re simply building to examples of volatile motherhood that we’ve seen depicted more clearly in earlier chapters of the book. Likewise, a late revelation about the mother’s childhood trauma fails to inspire compassion as much as confusion. It feels like an attempt to explain behavior that, sadly, remains inexplicable.
Even so, I think Stefan Merrill Block tells his story in a way that's worth reading, and if the marketing copy piques your interest, it's a great way to spend an afternoon. Homeschooled might not be the most memorable memoir, but it feels like a fitting tribute to the specificity of a complicated relationship.
One caveat before I begin this review; I know the author. I took a writing class with him at Center for Fiction in Brooklyn. That was why I picked this particular memoir to read. It was not why I enjoyed it, however. I liked it because it was well written and it resonated even though my life and upbringing was very different from his. The mark of a good memoir is that it will connect with readers even when the subject or life of the writer is not at all the same. The writer will draw in the reader and find commonalities among the differences. Contrary to the title of the memoir, the subject of it is not really home schooling. There is no question that it figures in prominently, of course. However, the subject is really the relationship between the writer and his mother, who was obviously very troubled. Home schooling and how it was done in the writer’s life serves to highlight this relationship and as a metaphor. It is on this level that most readers, including myself, can relate. Many of us, if we were motivated enough and talented enough, could write a memoir about some relationship that affected us greatly, often though not exclusively in a negative way. I saw myself and my father in this situation, with our relationship, like the one between Stefan and his mother, as one that scarred me for life, even as much as it has propelled me to forge a very different relationship with my own daughter. This was a very fast read, also mark of a successful memoir. I actually wanted just a little more from it. While I learned a great deal about the relationship, I felt like I was missing a little context about the time period, especially in Plano, Texas, being a born and bred New Yorker. From my knowledge of the author and from a few things in the text, I had some rough information about the time period but would have liked to have had a little more context about what Plano was like, and how homeschooling was there as compared in other places in the country at the time. Nonetheless, I can highly recommend this to those who enjoy non celebrity memoirs (my own preference, actually). Thank you to NetGalley and Harlequin Trade Publishing for providing me with an advanced copy of this memoir in exchange for my honest opinions. Four and a half stars rounded up.
Homeschooled was Block's memoir of his education and life spent learning at home and how it shaped his later life and career. At the age of nine, Block's mother pulled him out of class as a response to his sulky behavior at his new school. He wasn't happy about her interference, as he was just starting to enjoy his class and beginning to make new friends, but once the trajectory was in place, there was no stopping his mother. Turns out she was an extremely needy woman who had decided that the answer to assuage her loneliness was to homeschool her son, and gain a malleable home companion. It ended up that Block was almost emotionally abused and forced by his mother's guilt tripping to be home for all eight grades. He knew that he would have major problems fitting in socially and academically with his peers, and when he finally broke away to begin high school, he found that he was completely hampered by his homeschooling. The book goes on to describe how he had to separate from his mother who persisted in trying to reel him back to her-even when he married, she floated the idea that she and her husband would move next to him to take care of their child, perhaps as a surrogate-he vetoed that. The book lightly touches on the subject of homeschooling-its history as a counter-culture answer to public education, and, in the present, a way to exert evangelical control. It made me search for information on the effects of homeschooling on grown-up homeschooled children, but there is very little reported information that isn't sponsored by homeschooling sources. This would be a good read for those who enjoyed Glass Castle and Educated as it too is a first-hand account of a very atypical school experience.
At the end of this book I was crying bitter tears, stifling them as to not wake my sleeping son.
The author is recounting his experiences as a homeschooler in the early nineties. He astutely points out many times that it is not regulated and so a lesson may be anything.
When his mother takes him out of his elementary school in Plano tx, homeschooling has only just been legalized. Convinced that traditional curriculum and structure will only hinder his brilliance, his mother lets him seek out his own creativity.
For five years “lessons” consist of flash cards and trips to the movies. And intense isolation, searing loneliness for Stefan.
When he gets back to school in ninth grade he is extremely behind, both academically and socially.
Though I found myself angry, Stefan has such compassion for his mother, such patience.
By the end it all seems to come full circle. His momma exhibits true selflessness during the pandemic and her brilliant son does become a writer.
I could not put this down, the writing is so raw and honest, and homeschooling is of particular interest to me. I’m even more convinced now that it should have more regulation. I’ve witnessed many “lessons” , baking used as math, gardening as science. Anyhow I digress, I loved this one, thank you so much to the publisher for allowing me early access.
Homeschooled: A Memoir leans heavily into the memoir part of its title. Although the narrative does spend quite a bit of time on the homeschooling years of his life, it ultimately is Block's overall story of his life. There's not really an in-depth discussion or conclusions drawn about homeschooling, but rather focuses on his specific experience.
A fascinating memoir that reads like fiction, Block focuses on his relationship with his mother. There is a very dysfunctional family dynamic where the extreme devotion of his mother turns narcissistic and enmeshed. I wish some other areas of his life would have been fleshed out a little more - in particular, his relationship with his father, who in this telling, is basically like wallpaper in his life, nothing more (and he's a psychologist, no less!).
Overall, a compelling tale because it leaves the reader to draw many of our own conclusions. Block doesn't necessarily give a strong point of view about the situations he experienced as all 'right' or 'wrong' but rather just tells them as they happened, and the reader can see the deep trauma that inspired his mom's behaviors.
Thanks to NetGalley and Harlequin Trade Publishing for access to this eARC.
This was one of the most compelling memoirs I've ever read, and I want to give it five stars, except that feels like rating the author's experiences rather than their storytelling, and they definitely didn't have a five-star childhood experience. So.
I did expect maybe a touch more humor (I could have been led astray by some of the other reviews), but I found this to be poignant and distressing instead. As a former educator, I expected there to maybe be a little bit more about homeschooling in general, or more sociological context, but this was literally a memoir, so I think I shouldn't have expected that kind of society-level view. The book also covered more years than I expected, spanning well beyond the author's actual homeschooling years so as to also encompass the fallout from that experience.
This debut memoir and Read with Jenna pick for January was definitely an eye-opening look at how homeschooling can go unchecked and leave kids terribly left behind if irresponsible parents don't take the job seriously. In this case Stefan has a toxic codependent relationship with his mother who justifies taking him out of school because of bullying but really does it because she wants her son home with her all the time. What follows is Stefan having to fight to get the education he properly deserves and yearns for. Recommended for fans of memoirs like Educated. Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early digital copy in exchange for my honest review. I listened to the audio version read by the author and thought he did a pretty good job with the narration.
While memoirs can be inherently difficult to review, I throughly enjoyed Block’s latest. As the reader quickly learns, the title is a bit of a misnomer given the limited amount of “school” that takes place. Rather, the memoir details a mother’s radical desire to preserve her son’s youth, no matter the cost. As Block grows, her measures only get more extreme until one day Block finds himself crawling around the house, ostensibly to improve his handwriting. As Block wrestles with pleasing his mother and finding his own identity, a captivating story unfolds.
Thank you to Netgalley and Harlequin Trade Publishing for the Advanced Reader Copy.
This book provides a unique look into parental power and the impact that one parent's emotions can have on their families. While the activities of Stefan's typical homeschool day sound like a dream, his experience was anything but. This book will take you through a range of emotions - heartbreak, laughter and nostalgia to name a few - while you constantly hope that someone will notice Stefan's struggles and help him with his education.
If you enjoy memoirs and can manage reading about a child that struggles to take control of his own journey, you are sure to enjoy this book!
Stefan wrote about his homeschooling experience in such a raw and human way. Not only could you find compassion for him, but also his mother despite her flaws. With his story, he raises awareness of the unregulated side of homeschooling. He was in sports and had friends in the beginning. By the end of the five years, he was in complete isolation besides his immediate family due to his mothers fear of the outside world. Also, note that this is not a harsh critique of homeschooling. His mother did not teach him anything besides reading, some math, and "passion projects" for maybe a few hours. This is a story of emotional incest/enmeshment through and through.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC of this book. As a former homeschool student myself, Mr Block’s memoir hit close to home in some ways. My experience was compounded by cerebral palsy, but I certainly missed out on important social interaction with my peers and felt the loneliness he describes in this book. Mr Block paints a rich and engrossing portrait of his life with his codependent mother and somehow manages to make you love her despite the damage she caused him. A masterful memoir.
Based on the synopsis I first read I thought this book would be more about homeschooling and the author’s experience with it. That is a part of this book, but the whole is real more about the author’s relationship with his mother. I feel like it was a book with a lot of depth as Stefan wrote about the abuse he suffered from his mother but also about the love that was between them in the midst of that childhood trauma.
It’s a very well-written memoir but don’t expect it to be all about the homeschooling experience.
This was an interesting memoir about a young man’s experience of being homeschooled by his mother, who was manipulative and likely mentally ill. I have a great deal of compassion for him and his brother. The thing that bothers me is that his father was in the psychology field, and the book contains no insight into whether the father recognized his wife’s instability or not? I would have appreciated inclusion of that aspect. Overall, this was a great read and I wish the best for the author and his family.
A very honest and courageous recounting of an “Un-Schooled” childhood initiated by a mother deeply distrustful of formal education, but unable to provide daily learning structure or social peer connection. The author’s five-year break from a traditional classroom gave him time to explore interests at will, in a solitary fashion, but his lonely struggle to rejoin public school as a confused 9th grader was painful to witness. Such an inspiring tale of resilience and love. Reminded me of ‘Educated’ by Tara Westover.
This is memoir is about one person’s experience with homeschooling by a mother with extreme mental health issues. I was expecting a little bit more - I wanted more about the author’s relationships with his dad, brother, friends and high school teachers. I also wanted to know more about the mother’s tutoring business - were the students she tutored successful, was she actually tutoring them? I finished the book feeling like the overall story was not fleshed out enough. I do feel really bad for the author and his experience as a child trying to appease his mother’s wishes.
This book has more to do with mental health, co dependency maternal relationship, than with homeschooling. I know someone very close to me who had a mom like this, however he was NOT homeschooled, but the rest was so similar, including wanting him his family next door or move her in to his home. Stefan seemed to follow unschooling ideology. I would not consider this to be an accurate picture of what homeschooling looks like to most families. I feel bad for what all Stefan went thru from childhood and up.
I think this book has a lot to offer. Yes the mom is a helicopter Mom who has put her whole life into her children. Lots of moms do. But her obsession with her son and homeschooling are two different things altogether. Homeschooling from what I have seen can be good for a very creative mind if there are also social groups and a school curriculum to follow. On the flip side , I have seen kids become isolated, kept from the social norms,and reality of life, and have heard from the now grown kids that fitting into the school system later is really hard to say the least.
This is a heartfelt and honest accounting of the authors relationship with his mother that gave off Educated vibes at time but mostly more light hearted. I suspect this will find a wide readership upon its January release and I would recommend just brace yourself for the feeling turns this memoir takes. I appreciate the author’s level humanity.
A memoir that reads like fiction, this book will pull you in instantly. It is not so much about homeschooling but about a child at home because of his mother’s irrational needs and fears of society norms. It is very honest and sometimes disturbing and I could not stop reading this book.