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Proud: My Autobiography
**WINNER British Sports Book Awards SPORTS BOOK OF THE YEAR****Shortlisted for the William Hill Sports Book of the Year Award**Gareth Thomas had it all. He was a national hero, a sporting icon. He was a leader of men, captain of Wales and the British Lions. To him, rugby was an expression of cultural identity, a sacred code. It was no mere ball game. It gave him everything, except the freedom to be himself.This is the story of a man with a secret that was slowly killing him. Something that might devastate not only his own life but the lives of his wife, family, friends and teammates. The only place where he could find any refuge from the pain and guilt of the lie he was living was on the pitch, playing the sport he loved. But all his success didn’t make the strain of hiding who he really was go away. His fear that telling the truth about his sexuality would lose him everything he loved almost sent him over the edge.The deceit ended when Gareth became the world’s most prominent athlete to come out as a gay man. His gesture has strengthened strangers, and given him a fresh perspective. Gareth’s inspiring and moving story transcends the world of sport to tell a universal truth about feeling like an outsider, and facing up to who you really are.
324 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 29, 2014
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 84 reviews
May 21, 2022
incredibly inspiring man and story!
he has done so much for the lgbtqia+ community just by being himself and i’m sure he’s saved many lives because of that.
i gave 3 stars not because i don’t think he’s a 5 star man, but because i found the book a little hard to read in terms of style, rugby chat and length (??)
i did feel like i was talking to an old friend though which was nice :))
he has done so much for the lgbtqia+ community just by being himself and i’m sure he’s saved many lives because of that.
i gave 3 stars not because i don’t think he’s a 5 star man, but because i found the book a little hard to read in terms of style, rugby chat and length (??)
i did feel like i was talking to an old friend though which was nice :))
September 7, 2017
This is Gareth Thomas:
and this is Gareth Thomas: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFTUT...
It has been said of rugby: "If there is no blood on the line, it is not rugby league." Gareth Thomas was 6'3" of fiercely competitive muscle and sinew, utterly confident in his ability to play the aggressive full-contact sport (played with little or no padding). As a captain, he led by example and backbreaking hard work. He was a national hero, becoming the first Welshman to win 100 caps in rugby union play. On the rugby pitch, he was the master of his destiny.
But off the field, Gareth Thomas was almost brought to suicide by trying to keep his sexuality a secret. He feared rejection from everything he had known, but knew that unless he came out, he would eventually die.
His autobiography is honest and raw in all aspects of his life and is particularly devastating regarding his love for his wife Jemma, their 3 heartbreaking miscarriages, and the eventual realization that although he loved her with 99% of his being, it was not enough for either of them.
I listened to the audiobook, beautifully and soulfully narrated by the Welsh actor Matthew Gravelle.
and this is Gareth Thomas: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFTUT...
It has been said of rugby: "If there is no blood on the line, it is not rugby league." Gareth Thomas was 6'3" of fiercely competitive muscle and sinew, utterly confident in his ability to play the aggressive full-contact sport (played with little or no padding). As a captain, he led by example and backbreaking hard work. He was a national hero, becoming the first Welshman to win 100 caps in rugby union play. On the rugby pitch, he was the master of his destiny.
But off the field, Gareth Thomas was almost brought to suicide by trying to keep his sexuality a secret. He feared rejection from everything he had known, but knew that unless he came out, he would eventually die.
His autobiography is honest and raw in all aspects of his life and is particularly devastating regarding his love for his wife Jemma, their 3 heartbreaking miscarriages, and the eventual realization that although he loved her with 99% of his being, it was not enough for either of them.
I listened to the audiobook, beautifully and soulfully narrated by the Welsh actor Matthew Gravelle.
January 3, 2021
"Of all the things I ever thought I'd hear you say, 'I can't put down Gareth Thomas's autobiography' was not one of them" - my Welsh boyfriend
June 11, 2022
Yes, this is technically a sports book. Wait... Don't go just yet. Hold on, I promise it's a good one though.
Biographies tend to be my least favourite non-fiction genre, auto-biographies in particular. So imagine my surprise when I was hooked from the first chapter. Almost immediately we're given raw honesty. It quickly became clear that Thomas wasn't planning on holding back. In this book he talks about his rugby career, his coming to terms with being gay, how keeping it a secret almost killed him, its impact on his friends and family, as well as his wife Jemma.
To anyone who could relate, it's a difficult read at times, but always a rewarding one.
His love for Wales is palpable. His pride for representing his nation and what it meant to him is infectious. These moments sprinkled throughout the book help ground him, keep him real to the reader; a reminder that despite his exceptional career, his influence upon coming out, and his dark moments, Thomas always cherished his roots.
Some harrowing moments stick with me. In particular the chapter where he describes his treatment by medical staff of all people as he was having a stroke, accused of faking it, not being taken seriously, or getting pestered about some recent Rugby drama. It only got worse since the stroke was quickly followed by another miscarriage his wife had to endure.
Another chapter in which he shares the letters he received from people after he came out (he keeps them anonymous) was impactful. It would have been easy to come across as arrogant at this point, but rather than going on about his influence, Thomas discusses the magnitude of this new responsibility he acquired: being an example for other people, and breaking stereotypes; a responsibility he didn't ask for, but one that he still takes seriously to this day.
I could keep going as there is a lot to talk about in this book. But it's enough to say that was an amazing read. Credit should also be given to Michael Calvin, who wrote Thomas' words down into this wonderful book.
Biographies tend to be my least favourite non-fiction genre, auto-biographies in particular. So imagine my surprise when I was hooked from the first chapter. Almost immediately we're given raw honesty. It quickly became clear that Thomas wasn't planning on holding back. In this book he talks about his rugby career, his coming to terms with being gay, how keeping it a secret almost killed him, its impact on his friends and family, as well as his wife Jemma.
To anyone who could relate, it's a difficult read at times, but always a rewarding one.
His love for Wales is palpable. His pride for representing his nation and what it meant to him is infectious. These moments sprinkled throughout the book help ground him, keep him real to the reader; a reminder that despite his exceptional career, his influence upon coming out, and his dark moments, Thomas always cherished his roots.
Some harrowing moments stick with me. In particular the chapter where he describes his treatment by medical staff of all people as he was having a stroke, accused of faking it, not being taken seriously, or getting pestered about some recent Rugby drama. It only got worse since the stroke was quickly followed by another miscarriage his wife had to endure.
Another chapter in which he shares the letters he received from people after he came out (he keeps them anonymous) was impactful. It would have been easy to come across as arrogant at this point, but rather than going on about his influence, Thomas discusses the magnitude of this new responsibility he acquired: being an example for other people, and breaking stereotypes; a responsibility he didn't ask for, but one that he still takes seriously to this day.
I could keep going as there is a lot to talk about in this book. But it's enough to say that was an amazing read. Credit should also be given to Michael Calvin, who wrote Thomas' words down into this wonderful book.
September 24, 2019
A very personal book, highlights the preasure of living in the public eye, where every part of your life is judged. I think Gareth as become a standard bearer for many people, a person to look up and respect. A very good book, that is interesting to read, a very detail and personal account of his life to date, a very good rugby player who is becoming more famous for other reason. An excellent book to read, well written, no editorial errors, structure of book is good, easy to read. Well worth reading.
March 11, 2024
A biography that is good at explaining life in the closet for some. He isn't the first non camp out gay celebrity but given the low number of out gay men in professional spots him coming out did impact some in good ways.
January 3, 2015
I had his expectations for this book as I have always felt so proud of Gareth Thomas when he made the decision to come out and because I knew our lives were similar. The quality of writing was good but apparently it was co-written. There were elements I could relate to being a fellow Welshman and some parts (such as Gareth's letter to his adolescent self) moved me. However, I found the book too heavily focussed on the rugby side of Gareth's life. Unless you are a rugby fan it could become a little boring at times or difficult to follow. I was also disappointed by the lack of detail in the book. I felt that the author skimmed over his deceit and his encounters so as not to upset his rugby fans but it made the book difficult to connect with especially if I was a young confused gay lad looking for a positive role model. I crammed more honesty. I am glad I read the book and I still hold Gareth Thomas in high esteem.
August 15, 2017
This is probably one of the most honest autobiographies I've read. He seems to give so much of himself in the telling of it and I find myself coming away with a lot of respect for the man. I particularly enjoyed the chapter which shared the stories and letters of people who reached out to him after he came out publicly. He speaks a lot of the support and encouragement provided by his teammates in rugby and sections like the letter ones felt like he was imparting that to these people, and by extension any lgbt+ readers who are also struggling. A more coherent and in depth review will follow on YouTube at some point, but suffice to say this was an autobiography that will stay with me in many ways.
June 24, 2024
Story of a Welsh rugby great . As the title suggests there is much talk about coming out as Gay and the prejudices surrounding that. This is interesting & sad that people what ever gender, sexualities, skin colour, religion, disability can not be accepted for what they are not defined by other things. Saying that I would have still preferred more details about the rugby. But a worthwhile listen.
February 27, 2024
so inspiring to hear the stories of older generations of queer athletes and how they navigated being queer within the sports they love to play. would recommend to anyone, whether you love rugby or not!
October 24, 2021
So much more than a sports autobiography—the rugby was absolutely secondary to this staggeringly honest reflection. An extremely moving read. Only 3*s because the writing/flow/structure was not the best—no criticism of the content itself, and I absolutely applaud the brilliant work of this man. (Note: I do actually love rugby. I think you do still have to like rugby a tiny bit to read this book.)
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April 30, 2022emotions.
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December 30, 2015There are many very good sporting biographies and those I have read recently such as Victoria Pendleton's and brian Moore's demonstrate that behind excellence in a world that requires a commitment beyond the understanding of the reader and often hidden demons. In Gareth Thomas's story the first chapter sees him debating whether to kill himself after telling his wife about his homosexuality. Through the book we then follow his story from a childhood whilst well loved he clearly has issues around anger which find release in the masculine evironment of the rugby world. For readers who love rugby stories this element takes second place to the emotional turmoil that Thomas goes through over the years and most poignant of all is the acceptance that he receives from his teammates when he finally comes out however this did not impact upon my enjoyment of a book by a rugby player whose playing I enjoyed for many years and who presents a moving story of his trouble whilst also bravely acknowledging the impact upon his wife with no self pity. I would certainly recommend for lovers of sport but also as an interesting view on dealing with their sexuality an important issue for many people.
June 26, 2017
This is one of the best (auto)biographies I have read. It is beautifully written by Thomas and Michael Calvin in an easy-to-read, straightforward, no nonsense manner but is also often poetic. The book is brutally honest and frank about his strengths and weaknesses, is emotive but is not mawkish or sentimental. There is a lot of raw emotion here which moved me to tears on more than one occasion, but there is humour too. It is not a "poor me" tale - in fact, he is most often extremely (too) hard on himself and some of his behaviour.
As an autobiography of a rugby player there is obviously a fair amount of rugby talk but, in my opinion, not so much that non rugby fans won't enjoy it too. It is, ultimately, the life story of a previously mixed up, unhappy, very talented sportsman who eventually overcame his extreme fear to come out as gay and be the person he always was inside but felt he couldn't be in public. It is a very touching and moving account of his path to happiness and acceptance but there is something in this book for everyone to think about. I'm so pleased that I have read it.
As an autobiography of a rugby player there is obviously a fair amount of rugby talk but, in my opinion, not so much that non rugby fans won't enjoy it too. It is, ultimately, the life story of a previously mixed up, unhappy, very talented sportsman who eventually overcame his extreme fear to come out as gay and be the person he always was inside but felt he couldn't be in public. It is a very touching and moving account of his path to happiness and acceptance but there is something in this book for everyone to think about. I'm so pleased that I have read it.
August 7, 2019
A brilliant book for all older boys/ young men to read, and reread, to gain confidence in being who they want to be. Also a fascinating insight into the worlds of rugby union and league. A heartbreaking /heartwarming story of family too.
June 24, 2015
Anybody who knows me will know that I do not often read sports biographies. Gareth Thomas's autobiography is moving and heartfelt, well written and appealing both to rugby fans and those interested in coming out stories that have affected the way the world perceives gay men. There are dark times right from the word go, and reading Gareth's story it is no wonder that so many professional sports people find it so difficult to make that decision to let the world know about their true selves.
I saw a programme about 18 months before reading his book where Gareth Thomas discussed his life, his career and coming out, and he struck me as a man who was still not entirely comfortable in his skin. Reading this book made me happy to think that his journey has improved, and that hopefully his future will get even better. This is a great book for any young person, gay or straight, who wants to know the kind of pressures a professional sports career can put on you, and also that being honest and upfront about your feelings is, in the long run, the best way to go.
I saw a programme about 18 months before reading his book where Gareth Thomas discussed his life, his career and coming out, and he struck me as a man who was still not entirely comfortable in his skin. Reading this book made me happy to think that his journey has improved, and that hopefully his future will get even better. This is a great book for any young person, gay or straight, who wants to know the kind of pressures a professional sports career can put on you, and also that being honest and upfront about your feelings is, in the long run, the best way to go.
February 16, 2025
I don't normally cry at a book, but this managed to get me crying. Both with laughter, and sorrow. The book was honestly written, and details the struggle that Gareth (or Alfie as his friends know him) went through - and the pain that it caused on all sides.
But there were moments of humor - and this was on piece that had me howling with laughter:
On the whole, this was a really engrossing read. It covers both Rugby (union and league) as well as the issues in Gareth's personal life, and one that I am very glad that I read.
But there were moments of humor - and this was on piece that had me howling with laughter:
I am a Welshman living in Newcastle, and am bombarded regularly by English 'friends' making derisory comments about Welsh rugby. When I received the following email from one of them 'Seen what Gareth Thomas has admitted to?' I was full of apprehension. Imagine how pleased I was when all he was referring to was that you'd said you were gay. 'Thank Christ!' I shouted. 'I thought he'd confessed to being bloody English!'
On the whole, this was a really engrossing read. It covers both Rugby (union and league) as well as the issues in Gareth's personal life, and one that I am very glad that I read.
September 18, 2015
The sportsman is a legend (Ok, I'm Welsh so I am a tad biased) and GT's record speaks for itself; but the man, the man is a god! Much has been written about his bravery and courage, and that is acknowledged by many. His leadership is inspirational, his candidness at times shocking! No wonder he is an icon.
The book is very well written; yes the powerful story and the subject matter help, but it still needs telling and it has been told so well. It takes you through the highs and the lows. At times it so down to earth you could feel the electricity and passion that ignites in the dressing room and on the field, at other times, the senses are amok - (e.g. the scene on the cliff edge is compelling reading; the joy of his revelation is tangible; the letter at the end......)
It is a good read, it is a great story, and the world is a much better place for its telling, and for it being told so well.
The book is very well written; yes the powerful story and the subject matter help, but it still needs telling and it has been told so well. It takes you through the highs and the lows. At times it so down to earth you could feel the electricity and passion that ignites in the dressing room and on the field, at other times, the senses are amok - (e.g. the scene on the cliff edge is compelling reading; the joy of his revelation is tangible; the letter at the end......)
It is a good read, it is a great story, and the world is a much better place for its telling, and for it being told so well.
March 25, 2016
Let's face it, sports autobiographies are pretty formulaic fare: I grew up, nobody liked me/I had family issues, I channeled this into a highly successful sporting career and now I've found a level of peace. Here are some pictures of me in action and I'll finish up by listing all the great people I've played with in a composite World Team.
Flick through this and you would not guess Alfie's book is any different. But you'd be completely wrong - It's the story of a man struggling with his sexuality, the paths he chose to cover it up, and his ultimate coming out. Pride right? Rugby is the background to an amazingly honest appraisal of society and selfishness, interleaved with a freaking amazing chapters on Welsh nationalism, poetry and the importance of truth.
Hands down the best sports autobiog I've ever read, primarily because it's about honesty rather than extended stories of amazing tries coming from hours on the training ground. Chapeau Alfie.
Flick through this and you would not guess Alfie's book is any different. But you'd be completely wrong - It's the story of a man struggling with his sexuality, the paths he chose to cover it up, and his ultimate coming out. Pride right? Rugby is the background to an amazingly honest appraisal of society and selfishness, interleaved with a freaking amazing chapters on Welsh nationalism, poetry and the importance of truth.
Hands down the best sports autobiog I've ever read, primarily because it's about honesty rather than extended stories of amazing tries coming from hours on the training ground. Chapeau Alfie.
August 28, 2016
Astounding to read this autobiography of a Welsh Rugby Union icon. All I knew of the captain of his country was his presence in the 'Six Nations' battles. I assumed 'Proud' was to be the stereotypical memoir of a hobbledehoy to macho rugby player, recalling his journey to the top level of international sport with a post retirement summation of a settled family life with some tv punditry topping up the healthy bank balance.
In some way similar to Brian Moore, the England hooker, Gareth Thomas' story contains a secret that he kept hidden from his wife, his family, his rugby colleagues, and the wider world. A secret that almost drove him to suicide on more than one occasion. The inner turmoil is revealed with stark honesty and candour in one of the most searing sporting biographies that I have ever read.
Well done butt...you should be proud!
In some way similar to Brian Moore, the England hooker, Gareth Thomas' story contains a secret that he kept hidden from his wife, his family, his rugby colleagues, and the wider world. A secret that almost drove him to suicide on more than one occasion. The inner turmoil is revealed with stark honesty and candour in one of the most searing sporting biographies that I have ever read.
Well done butt...you should be proud!
October 27, 2014
I was lucky enough to hear Gareth Thomas speak at the Penguin Random House Sales Conference at the beginning of this year. If his speech was anything to go by, I knew this would be a moving read.
He is an inspiration to so many and rightfully so. Thomas doesn't disappoint in this startlingly frank autobiography. He went through a lot of turmoil, but he came out on top and is helping many others through the same experiences.
Writing-wise, the emotional and troubled parts were beautifully handled and really got to me. The chapters on his life in rugby were more interesting than I thought I'd find them, though rugby isn't my sport so I found myself skipping over them a little (through my own ignorance rather than anything else).
A great read which I'll certainly be recommending.
He is an inspiration to so many and rightfully so. Thomas doesn't disappoint in this startlingly frank autobiography. He went through a lot of turmoil, but he came out on top and is helping many others through the same experiences.
Writing-wise, the emotional and troubled parts were beautifully handled and really got to me. The chapters on his life in rugby were more interesting than I thought I'd find them, though rugby isn't my sport so I found myself skipping over them a little (through my own ignorance rather than anything else).
A great read which I'll certainly be recommending.
June 10, 2017
Well, where to start? I am not a rugby fan, I am especially not a Welsh rugby fan but this isn't really about rugby. This is one of the most brutal, honest autobiographies I think I have ever read and it's so moving for that. I didn't actually like Gareth for a lot of this, but he doesn't expect you to and he didn't like himself much. One of the most heartbreaking things I have ever read is the chapter where he talks about letters and conversations he had with other gay people after he came out.
So please don't dismiss this as another sporting autobiography, because it's so much more than that.
So please don't dismiss this as another sporting autobiography, because it's so much more than that.
June 19, 2016
This is more than just a typical sports autobiography. It is a book about rugby, leadership, depression but mainly 'coming out' and accepting your sexuality. It is a very open and honest book and I have huge respect for Gareth for opening up in the way he has.
If anyone is currently struggling with their sexuality then this book will reassure them that those feelings are natural and that you are not the only person to go through it. I recommend everyone reads this books.
If anyone is currently struggling with their sexuality then this book will reassure them that those feelings are natural and that you are not the only person to go through it. I recommend everyone reads this books.
June 24, 2015
A heartfelt look back on his successes and failings both on the field of play and away from it. Detailed and well written the book grabs you from the opening chapter and makes you want to know more about the man himself. I find many biographies about sports stars to leave me thinking they didn't quite give the whole story, this certainly does and left me with no questions unanswered.
For anyone who enjoys life stories, this is a must.
For anyone who enjoys life stories, this is a must.
December 4, 2015
Insight into the rugby, the awful stuff he put friends, family and particularly his wife through, no holds barred here, no whitewashing of the person he was, and some inspiring and harrowing stories of what he and others have gone through. Still not easy coming out for a sportsman, still far too many assumptions... hopefully this will change and people like Gareth and Nigel Owens must be helping.
December 6, 2015
Pretty good biography of Gareth Thomas. As a gay man myself it reminded me a lot of when I had to make the decision to come out. The heartache, the suicidal thoughts the self-loathing.
The book can be a little disjointed in places but the overall feel of the tome is good. The rugby references are good and you get a feel of what honour he thought playing for our country was like. Recommended.
The book can be a little disjointed in places but the overall feel of the tome is good. The rugby references are good and you get a feel of what honour he thought playing for our country was like. Recommended.
July 15, 2017
An incredibly powerful and emotional read. Gareth Thomas's journey to the pinnacle of his sport and coming to terms with his sexuality. Unexpected poetic, devastatingly honest and very moving. A sad reflection on the homophobia in sport and the world but encouraging in how things are changing but a powerful reminder about how living your life honestly is the best way to change hearts and minds. Even better read if you like Rugby!
February 15, 2018
This book was a heartbreaking read and very enjoyable. I am also a man who went through many of the things that Gareth went through. But as he has and many more will I have come through it and am happy. One thing I love and am proud to say is that none of my friends or family turned against me. This I have to say Thank you x
June 21, 2018
I've been wanting to read it for sometime. I brought it while I was down visiting family in South Wales. I just had to get it from the bookshop. This was a superb book to read. I was only going to read a few pages this evening, but that didn't happen. once I finished a chapter, I had to start the next one and so on. My eyes were glued to the pages from the first page.
September 13, 2018
A beautifully crafted book
Have always loved rugby, can absolutely see the issues you went through. What a world we live in. Loved your book, wish you did not have to write it. Blessings to you and Ian, glad you found your happiness. 💟
Have always loved rugby, can absolutely see the issues you went through. What a world we live in. Loved your book, wish you did not have to write it. Blessings to you and Ian, glad you found your happiness. 💟
Displaying 1 - 30 of 84 reviews