Bullies: A Friendship

by Alex Abramovich

The powerful account of one writer's unlikely friendship with his childhood bully, now the president of a motorcycle club in one of America's most dangerous cities.

Once upon a time, Alex Abramovich and Trevor Latham were mortal enemies: miniature outlaws in a Long Island elementary school, perpetually at each other's throats. Then they lost track of each other. Decades later, when they met again, Abramovich was a writer and Latham had become President of the East Bay Rats, a motorcycle club in Oakland.

In 2010, Abramovich moved to California to immerse himself in Latham's world - one of fight clubs, booze-filled nights, and beat-downs on the city's streets. But dangerous, dysfunctional Oakland was also becoming one of America's most rapidly gentrifying cities, and the questions Abramovich had arrived with were thrown into brutal relief: How do we live with the burden of violence? How do we overcome it? Do we overcome it?

As Trevor, the Rats, and the city they live in careen between crises and moments of renaissance, Abramovich explores issues of friendship, family, history, and destiny - and looks at what happens when those things fail. Bullies is at once a vivid, visceral narrative of an unusual friendship and an incisive portrait of a beautiful, terrible city.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography, Book Club, Autobiography, Biography Memoir, Sociology

224 pages, Hardcover

First published August 11, 2015

About the author

Alex Abramovich is the author of Bullies: A Friendship. He writes for the London Review of Books, teaches at Columbia University, and lives in New York City.

Reviews

[Brandon Forsyth · Rating 3 out of 5]

Part memoir, part social-political treatise, there's enough in BULLIES to recommend it, but it never really becomes more than the sum of its parts. There's lots of fascinating details about life in a motorcycle club, and the history of Oakland, and life on an independent wrestling circuit, but the larger point Abramovich is making gets lost in the many twisting turns his narrative takes - and, more critically, it never really lives up to its subtitle of "A Friendship". We never really get inside why Abramovich and his childhood bully become friends, and if the larger point of bullying as a form of violence fostered by a violent political and economic system comes across, it loses some of its human qualities in the book's failure to capture this critical relationship.

[Valerity (Val) · Rating 4 out of 5]

A somewhat unusual, yet interesting read about 2 guys who were bully and victim back in their school days, then forget about each other. Alex Abramovich and Trevor Latham were both in similar situations when they were kids, each being raised by their single parent fathers in Long Island.

Years later Alex, now a writer for GQ, looks Trevor up and finds he's the founder and president of a motorcycle club in Oakland, California called the East Bay Rats. He gets in touch with Trevor and they begin a friendship, with Alex first pushing a story and going out to California to meet up with Trevor and get to know his club and the locale. Then later, he pulls up stakes and takes his girlfriend out there to do a book about his immersion in the club. This in one of the country's most dangerous cities, which was also having spurts of gentrification. Tells a lot of background on the area through different eras, along with crazy stories about the club and locals.

[Betty · Rating 5 out of 5]

I grew up in Oakland, and started hearing whispers of a motorcycle gang called the Rats when I was 6 years old. As an adult, I have found myself deeply entrenched within my local motorcycle community. It comes as no surprise that I was drawn to this book. I sat down with it, intending to skim through the first few pages last Sunday morning, and didn’t get up again until the sun had set and I’d read the last page.

While sharing gritty, yet endearing vignettes about the quirky members of the East Bay Rats Motorcycle Club, Abramovich weaves Oakland history into his journey to better know his childhood bully and club’s president, Trevor. The theme that ties these elements together is that of violence, the ever present shadow side of individuals, and society as a whole. On the grimy streets of Oakland, the Rats, as a group, a makeshift family of miscreants, fit right in, with their beat up motorcycles, hooligan antics, and their taste for bloodshed. By “entrenching” himself with them, Abramovich allows his readers to take a closer look at the Rats as individuals, and realize, as Abramovich realizes, that they are not so dissimilar to you or I. They are simply a group of men, attempting to live a life that makes them happy, while working through the issues that brought them all together in the first place.

As he explores the tenuous lines that divide humans into our socio-economic niches, Abramovich forces us to realize the rebel, the lost boy, the Rat, and the bully in all of us.

[Katy St. Clair · Rating 2 out of 5]

Hm. I can't see this book being of any interest to anyone who has never heard of the East Bay Rats. And even then, I learned all I needed to know in the first few chapters. I suppose it was a good enough history of Oakland, but parts bored me profoundly. There also wasn't much nuance about their "friendship," though I'm not sure I'd care anyway. I've always viewed the Rats as glorified hipsters and he seemed to treat them like a real motorcycle gang. Which, to be fair, I guess they are.

[Danielle Mootz · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book. I'm a northern California girl and have spent much time traveling to and through Oakland. The story of two child bullies reunited by past that bonds them as well as the journey they embark on together that unfolds in the fabric of Oakland's history.

[Pierre-Alexandre Buisson · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book comes with a lot of hype. Some of it is deserved. It chronicles the friendship between two high school students that used to always fight each other. It picks up about 20 years after they have last seen each other, the author having remained in New York, and his bully having moved to California, where he founded the East Bay Rats Motorcycle Club.

It is at times frightening, and serves as a very interesting meditation on violence, even though it doesn't go as deep as I would have liked. It grazes the surface of things, and ends up getting lost in its ambitions. Abramovich offers us some interesting historical perspectives on the genesis of the Oakland we know today, and how the failed dynamic between the overwhelmed police force and the numerous criminals - gang members, bikers - populating the city.

We get a glimpse at the fight culture of the city, and spend way too much time around the Occupy Oakland movement - this latter portion taking up about 30% of the book. We learn to rely on the author's frequent brushes with his friend Trevor, the real subject of the book, but in the end he all but disappears, settling down with a girl and getting married.

I found this book quite interesting, but a sharper direction and overall cohesion would have made it even better. I'd still recommend reading it, if only to get a look at some other people's everyday violence in a world where we are mostly usually shielded from it.

[Valerie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Upper middle class urban guy decides to revisit childhood bully, slums it with trashy Oakland residents and is shocked to realize the story wasn't so good guy vs bad guy as he remembers. Boring AF and sad one dimensional tropes. I couldn't get past his motorcycle accident, OMG. Seriously? Anyway. Maybe if you don't live in Oakland it's not nearly as insulting or condescending.

[Aaron McQuiston · Rating 4 out of 5]

Alex Abramovich has a moment where he learns that his former mortal enemy, Trevor Latham, has become the president of the East Bay Rats, a motorcycle club across the country from where they used to fight. He decides to rekindle the relationship in Oakland, immerse himself into their community, and learn what has changed with growing up. "Bullies: A Friendship" is a short memoir about this relationship. The bad thing is that Abramovich does not spent much time with a personal relationship between him and Latham, only being a fleeting thought in the rest of the narrative. The good thing is that the rest of the narrative is equally as compelling as the East Bay Rats, the way that the MC fits in with the rest of Oakland, and how Oakland has become the place that it is today. Even though the focus is on the bigger picture more than the friendship between Alex and Trevor, it is an interesting book. It made me buy another book about Oakland, "Killing the Messenger" by Thomas Peele and search out more information about the Zebra Kllings and Yusuf Bey. This seems like a small part of a bigger narrative about the East Bay.

[Carrie Westmoreland Kurtz · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn’t particularly enjoy this book. It wasn’t necessarily bad, it just wasn’t my cup of tea, I guess. When I read the description of this book I was intrigued. I ended up a bit disappointed, though, because there really wasn’t enough about their actual friendship. It started as though that’s what the entire book would be about but towards the middle we kind of lost that storyline. It was brought back together in the end but it wasn’t enough to make me like the book. There was some interesting information about the history of Oakland and things like that but it just wasn’t what I was expecting to read about.

I didn’t completely hate it, but I really didn’t love it. I don’t think I can even say that I liked it. That makes me sad… I want to be able to love all books. This didn’t receive a great rating from me. Sorry

*Note: I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

[Terynce · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read it because of the author's interview on NPR. The most intriguing parts of the book were part of the interview. Wasn't so much about bullies as the East Bay Rats Motorcycle Club, a prominent member of which was a bully in secondary school. Not a bad read, but I still don't understand why the author wanted to reach out and reconnect with someone he believes tormenting him growing up. There was no confrontation, no airing of grievances -- which is fine -- but then, why not reconnect with someone you liked from your childhood instead of someone you didn't like? The author comes across as someone that needed a story to write to pay the bills, remembered this one from a piece he'd done earlier, and tried to relight the fire. Okay. Go back to the well if it's still producing and the result wasn't bad, but there weren't any revelations either.

[Kathryn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book isn't really so much the relationship between the author and his childhood bully, Trevor, although their relationship does provide the catalyst for the author's trip and eventual move to the city of Oakland. Instead, this seems to be more of a meditation on violence and how it effects individuals and a city as a whole. Despite the slightly misleading title, I really enjoyed this book and the history of Oakland and the biker gang Trevor starts. It's dark, gritty, and an engrossing read.

[Sam · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book to me wasn't so much about friendship as it was about a motorcycle gang and violence. It was well written but if you are expecting a book about how a school bully and the boy who was bullied became friends as adults I think you will be disappointed. It just wasn't discussed as much as the club and the violence was. This just wasn't the book I thought it was going to be. I received this from LibraryThing Early Reviewers for an honest review.

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting read, but a tab misleading. Abramovich focuses nearly as much on the evolution of Oakland and he does about the title friendship. Both are worthy subjects, yet splitting the page real estate between the two does neither justice. I would love to read more about Alex and the Rats and his friendship, as well as read about Oakland's myriad problems. Both in one book however, makes little sense.

[Nathan · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought it would be about a motorcycle club, but it was more like an autobiography mixed in with a history book.

[K · Rating 4 out of 5]

Several reviewers make the accurate point that the book isn't really about bullies or bullying in the sense of dispensing practical information. Nor does it go too deeply into the author's personal experiences being bullied (he says he never bullied other people). It's more about a subculture of bikers who were bullied as kids and grew up to be bullies who operate on the fringes of society. Bullying isn't the point -- violence, anger, aimlessness are. And those problems create a need to belong to something -- in this case, a motorcycle club/biker gang.

The author has a deep man-crush on the former antagonist of his youth, Trevor, who was the co-founder and is still the leader of a motorcycle club in current day Oakland. The city itself is the epitome of dysfunction and the stratification of American society. Mostly, it's dirt poor and violent. Blacks and Hispanics sit around in dilapidated houses with nothing to do and no prospects. Homelessness, violence, drug abuse, blind-drunkenness, setting of intentional fires are daily or hourly occurrences. A few miles away, both still within the city limits, and then also in nearby San Francisco, astounding wealth continues to accumulate for our era's golden age.

The author is one of those few who can kind of cross from one to the other. Raised by an abuse, mentally ill father (after the death of his mother), he has become a freelance feature writer and an adjunct professor in the New York City area. His frenemy as a youngster is Trevor, who is the too-cool-to-be-believed head of a motorcycle gang in Oakland. In order to exorcise his demons, Alex contacts Trevor through Facebook, writes an article for GQ, and a few years later decides that a fuller book-length treatment is merited.

The result is a year's "embedding" with the Rats Motor Club. It's one tale of violence after another during a drunken night, punctuated with quick sex in an alley. Club nights are all about fights -- informal boxing matches between any two chumps that need blood to break through their unhappiness. The violence spills out into the bar and then the street, and then someone races off into the night on a Harley.

I find it incredibly bleak and scary. I'm not a violent guy, and I wouldn't want to spend 10 minutes in the clubhouse. I'm sure that I'd tire of the repeated stories of that time that J.J. punched out that guy who was mouthing off, or Trevor shot out all the street lights, or whatever. But I'd also have respect for people who aren't afraid to live on their own terms and without much of a look to the future. Their horizons are grim, and they are short -- doubt most of these guys anticipate reaching age 60. So they will drink their dozen beers, patch together their bikes, and enjoy the camaraderie as long as they can.

[Tony · Rating 3 out of 5]

A classic example of the good, the bad, and the ugly of when a writer tries to expand a successful long magazine article into a book-length project. The premise of this book is that the adult author tracks down the person who bullied him for several years in elementary school, and that person is now the head of an Oakland motorcycle club/gang. Since the author appears to be a standard-issue New York hipster intellectual writer, a natural "fish out of water" scenario ensues. Everything that follows in the small book is certainly interesting and readable, but it's kind of padded out mishmash of topics with no narrative arc or thrust.

The motorcycle club is the thread that more or less continues through, and it's interesting to meet different members and hear their backgrounds and what drew them in. It's not an "outlaw" club involved in drug-trafficking, etc. but more of a group of guys (many ex-military) seeking some kind of fellowship and belonging with a shared interest in doing stupid stuff like setting couches on fire in the street, and hosting backyard fight-nights. There's certainly plenty that could be unpacked here regarding masculinity, but that's not explored in any depth. The author eventually moves to the fancy part of Oakland and spends lots of time further immersing himself in the city and the club -- including a confusing running subplot involving a member who was kicked out. So you get a little bit about the history of Oakland, coverage of a trial involving a prominent Black Muslim group, the history of East Bay gentrification, the history of motorcycle clubs, on-the-ground reporting from Occupy Oakland, and so on.

Again, lots of the individual elements and scenes are interesting (perhaps more so for me, having lived for a while in the Bay area -- in retrospect, I must have driven down San Pablo Ave. right by the club's HQ many times). But I always felt more like I was reading the rambling thoughts of a friend, or a series of small magazine pieces, rather than a cohesive narrative. Partway into the book, the instigating conceit of the whole project -- that the writer was bullied in school by the motorcycle club leader is called into serious question, but again, that's sort of mentioned and moved on from almost immediately. All in all, of passable interest to readers interested in motorcycle subcultures, but that's about it.

[William Nist · Rating 4 out of 5]

This memoir is a history of a year spent with a childhood friend (who happened to be his grade school bully nemesis) in Oakland California in 2010. His friend turned out to be the Prez of a motorcycle club in Oakland reminiscent of 'Sons of Anarchy' MC but without the organized crime. But there was plenty of mayhem to go around. This club specialized in 'fight' parties.

The broader story is one of urban decay, and where individuals caught up in this decay settle and live. The RATS MC is where men without a lot of education, and often wounded by war or family circumstance find a home.

I found the memoir interesting and compelling but not satisfying. The read is brief and easy, but the message embeds some troubling memes. The book is unsettling and personal, violent yet human. I often read stories set in MC or maybe in'fight' clubs; the inhabitants of those worlds seem so far yet so near, so honest yet so reckless. This is one of those works.

[Kat · Rating 3 out of 5]

A wandering narrative centered around reuniting with his childhood companion and alleged bully, this book was not so much a memoir but a snapshot of Oakland in the 2010s and a view into the Fight Club-esque culture surrounding a loose group of men who grew up with violence trying to find their place in the world. Many character stories and historical tidbits about Oakland as a city begged for longer retellings -- having spent some time there in the late 1990s I was fascinated by the Bakery narrative, for one. The writing was excellent but in the vibe of a Sebastian Junger or Christopher McDougall book, threading multiple male-centered stories tangentially related and skillfully told but never quite making a whole. Almost (but not quite) satisfying.

[Windsor · Rating 4 out of 5]

What makes a friend? What makes an enemy? What makes a city slump toward slumdom? What makes a city gentrify? All big questions and the author, who clearly did his research, is up to the task. Personally, I don't think I'd sit down to read a social history of Oakland, but wrapped up in a gritty personal history and a biker gang called The Rats? Yeah, I'm in. While the line-to-line writing is always strong, the research super thorough, and the insights top-flight, the personal and the political/social/geographical don't always blend with absolute ease. A great book but not a perfect book.

[Sheehan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good friend gave me a copy of this book, knows I like memoir, knows I love Oakland, so this book was a refreshing romp through a local subculture, the East Bay Rats MC. EBRMC is a great jump-off for a wide look at the changes that have happened in Oakland in the last 30years.

Always interesting reading about things you heard about socially "in the wind," but never really got all the real skinny on what happened...likewise. putting together parts of various Oakland events and how they were related in ways I never imagined.

A well written and interesting read.

[Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Intriguing book that was billed to discuss a friendship that develops from two kids that fought when they were younger and then become friends as adults. Really, the book is about the East Bay Rats Motorcycle Club and Oakland. I still don't understand why people love watching fights, but it was interesting to be in a world I'll never visit.

[lucien alexander “sasha” · Rating 4 out of 5]

this is a book full of stories about people and places i (have) know(n), intimately or peripherally. the second place i lived in oakland was up the street from the east bay rats clubhouse; i often walk the mile or so over to eastmont mall from where i live now. my early-to-mid '10s facebook albums are full of photos of west and downtown oakland nights at warehouses and squats and dive bars. this book immersed me in memories of my early 20s, the city i fell in love with, violence (and what it is or isn't). i like the way that not everything fits together. i like the lack of neat resolution. i hated some of the things that people in it had to say. i like the way the author explores his subjects, human and geographical. i got really angry and sad about a lot of the people and things i have known. i learned a lot i hadn't known about the history of oakland. i'm glad i read this book.
here is a story of something that happened around the time many of the major events of this book: i was at the ruby room for a friend's birthday. we were all dressed in prom attire. a random man was there--it's a bar, after all, even though most of the patrons at that time were still regulars who knew each other. this man made repeated inappropriate comments, lifted dresses, tried to put hands on me and some other women*. the door guy, a rat, kicked him out. he pulled a knife. a bunch of rats kicked his ass in the street while we watched in our party dresses and tuxedos. i am not a damsel in distress, but i am a multiple rape survivor, and watching a bunch of big dudes in motorcycle beat the crap out of some man who had tried to touch my breasts was deeply satisfying.
another story: i fought at the punks vs. hipsters night at the clubhouse (though you'd be pretty hard-pressed to describe me as a punk or a hipster unless your definitions are pretty loose). i was wearing too-tight doc martens from a clothing swap. i won.
i fought a friend in the boxing ring at the clubhouse on a fairly deserted weeknight. there is a photo of me, grinning from ear to ear, my nose and mouth covered in blood, leaning against the ropes.
i don't hang out at the places in this book much anymore, have lost touch (sometimes intentionally) with the people i knew through the ruby room and occupy, and i cringe at a lot of memories of that time. but i remember the freedom, the tiny tantalizing tastes of it.

[Terry · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is about the unique adult friendship that came about by two childhood classmates. One was a bully who grew up to lead a notorious motorcycle gang, the other a writer. It is interesting and sad at the same time.

[Willie Swinerton · Rating 2 out of 5]

This feels like a book that should have been an article. Reuniting with a bully who thought you were the bully who also happens to be the president of a motorcycle club is a good setup, but then nothing really happens after that.

[I Contain · Rating 4 out of 5]

A Thompson-esque study of what would become an unusual friendship between a bully and the alleged victim. The book serves as a study of the biker culture in Oakland and somewhat of an honorary sequel to the famous “Hell’s Angels”.

[Lori · Rating 3 out of 5]

I listened to the audio of this book and enjoyed the Author’s narration and wish I could give it more of a rating. I feel that a lot of what was said was off subject or rambling. I think the story idea was interesting but could have just been more.

[Melissa · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book does not do what the dust jacket claims. A man befriends his childhood bully, but if he's trying to make a larger point he misses his mark. Needed to flesh out his thoughts more rather than just present facts.

[Vicki Bahls · Rating 3 out of 5]

Did not finish--thought I would love it and did for the first couple chapters and then it just got boring. Author moves to California to infiltrate a motorcycle club whose president bullied him in high school. True story, but it just got boring.

[Carlos Escobedo · Rating 1 out of 5]

Couldn't finish because the book went a lot of different directions and wouldn't focus - maybe it came together at the end but I lost my patience

[Marsmannix · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting look into a closed sub-culture of bikers/outlaws.