How Not to Be a Political Wife

by Sarah Vine

‘You think you’ve married a journalist, then, horrors, he becomes a politician.''Sarah Vine is the Bridget Jones of politics.' Plum Sykes

How Not to Be a Political Wife is an unflinching account of life at the heart of politics, and what it's like to have politics rip the heart out of your life. It’s a story of high hopes and dirty tricks, broken friendships and divided loyalties, laughter and glamour.

Recollections, as a great woman once said, may of course vary, but this is my story, the way I remember it, written with no fear, no favour – and no f**** left to give.

Buckle up.

I thought long and hard about writing this memoir. I’ve done so not to settle old scores or plead my case, but more because I hope it’s a tale worth telling, not just for those who are interested in the political events of the past few years, but also because it’s about the people and characters behind those events, and why things ended up the way they did.

For nearly 20 years I was inside the rooms of government, a sanctioned eavesdropper on the rise – and fall – of the Cameroon style of Conservatism. At the same time I was building a career in journalism, raising two children and doing my best to support my own husband, Michael Gove, on his political journey. I was both an insider and an outsider; an observer – via my journalism – as well as a participant in the cut and thrust (mainly cut, if I’m honest) of frontline politics.

After my divorce from Michael and the demise of the Conservatives’ Old Guard, that all came to an end. I’m no longer officially a Westminster WAG, but you won’t find me mourning. Politics trampled my health, my happiness, my marriage, my sanity; it placed intolerable pressure on my loved ones, especially my children; it twisted my sense of self, and others’ sense of me; it tainted everything I did or said. I can’t say I miss it. I do, however, miss the life and the relationships I had before it all. These are the recollections of a survivor, but they are also a love letter to all that was lost in the wreck.

Genres: Nonfiction, Politics, Biography, Memoir, Audiobook, Autobiography, Unfinished

305 pages, Kindle Edition

Published June 19, 2025

Reviews

[Namera [The Literary Invertebrate] · Rating 3 out of 5]

I remember Michael Gove, in his role as Secretary of Education, being one of the less popular Tory politicians when I was in secondary school. His ex-wife Sarah Vine - herself a Daily Mail columnist - here presents her perspective on those politics years.

Probably the most tragic thing about this book is that Vine really thought she was Samantha Cameron's friend, and even now the book is peppered with frantic attempts to signal that she's still a SamCam loyalist. Surely, in the back of her mind, she realises that she and Gove - whom she recognises as being a working-class tryhard, the sort of person who buys his books from a more expensive bookshop just because it's patronised by the aristocracy - never really fit into the blueblood Cameron and Osborne circle.

This is a vaguely interesting read for those into politics, but is less about the nitty-gritty and more about the impact it can have on the lives of those around the politicians. However, Vine comes across as being every bit as unpleasant as one suspects a Daily Mail columnist would be, and the direct quotations from her children are strange and embarrassing.

[Soleil Pérez Toledo · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought I would give this book a try because I read a fragment in the Guardian, and it was witty and funny. I also thought it was truly going to give an insight into how we had gotten to where we got (i.e. Brexit). Instead, it was a load of gossip and entitlement, and it just confirms that the political class still doesn't get it.

I only hope I can get a refund.

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Have always found Michael Gove an interesting politician and person so wanted to hear what it was like being married to/having your life upended by his actions. Plenty of points where I was eye rolling/hating everyone but overall a decent memoir rather than gossipy tales.

[Grace Rhys-jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

really honest account ..

i enjoyed this book and it was an easy read whilst covering a huge amount…very interesting to see things from Sarahs point of view…well done Sarah you are a survivor and i admire you …

[Lucinda · Rating 5 out of 5]

With an interesting insight into political life, this is an open and fascinating account of life as a working woman, a wife and a mother. Well written, raw honesty and humour make it a thoroughly engaging read regardless of any political views.

[Julia Harding · Rating 4 out of 5]

Less about politics, more about the friendships, and can you really have a friend in politics ? Answer No.
Occasionally, Sarah Vine seems at best naive at worse, disingenuous. These were incredibly ambitious not to mention arrogant individuals who were desperate to grab power and didn't really consider the consequences re:Brexit
There seems to be very little notion of public service or wanting to improve the world around them.
In that way, the author has laid bare what a self-serving cabal they were.

[Seb · Rating 4 out of 5]

V interesting insight and fundamentally sad. Puts one off frontline politics. I don’t get all the slander for this book.

[Lara · Rating 1 out of 5]

I only carried on reading this cause her sense of entitlement and ability to be the victim in every story she tells was honestly impressive

[Benedict Skipper · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sarah Vine has called herself “the Bridget Jones of British politics,” and her memoir reads much like Bridget Jones’ diary — witty, self-deprecating, and often very funny, yet unafraid to touch on serious matters.

On one page she’s delivering sharp one-liners, such as describing Gavin Williamson as “a man with the intellect of a prawn and the integrity of a rotten banana, but blessed with a fox’s cunning.” The next, she’s speaking with disarming honesty about her struggles with an eating disorder and hair loss. Vine even speculates that, had she and her husband Michael Gove been conceived slightly later - after the passage of the Abortion Act - it’s possible neither would have been born.

On one level, this is an easy, entertaining read, much like her newspaper columns. On another, it’s clear Vine is using the memoir to settle more than a few scores. She names people she will “never forgive,” offers a decidedly unflattering verdict on David Cameron’s premiership, and her accounts of events add little if you’ve already read the works of Anthony Seldon or Tim Shipman.

What the book does offer, however, is a vivid glimpse into the private realities of political life - from being verbally abused in the streets of New York, to the mental toll exacted by the expenses scandal.

In the end, How Not to Be a Political Wife is sharp, gossipy, occasionally petty, and often very funny - but it’s also revealing about the personal cost of public life. Vine is at her best when she drops the point-scoring and lets the reader see the people behind the headlines, with all the insecurity, resilience, and contradiction that entails. If you want a candid, colourful, and sometimes caustic glimpse into the world of Westminster and the toll it takes on those caught up in it, this book will more than satisfy.

This review was first published on my Substack: https://frbenedictskipper.substack.co...

[Kath · Rating 4 out of 5]

Both interesting and sad. Plenty of insights into political life and how it can sap family ties. The Brexit part was particularly absorbing and also horrifying as you realise no one in either camp seemed to have a clue what was happening. A bit like Covid I suppose. I liked the fact that Sarah did not belittle her ex husband. However the lifestyle is not one that I can relate to and the portraits of the main players as a whole were pretty depressing.

[Justine Skeet · Rating 5 out of 5]

Interesting, authentic and moving at times, with a sprinkling of humour. Whatever political side you are on, this is an enlightening read.

[Kaya Smith]

It’s hard for me to rate this book.

On the one hand it displays the lack of generosity of spirit that underpins much of conservatism, a general naivety, a narrow view on the world and a disinterest in public service. The author seems unable to take accountability for wrongdoings, and often blames how others portray the narrative as the issue.

However, on the other hand, it is deeply human and very vulnerable. It shows the side to politics that gets pushed to the side in partisan debates, the impacts on the lives of individuals. It also feels very sad, there is clearly a lot of regret for the friends and lives that politics took away from the family, especially from someone who didn’t seem that interested in politics to begin with.

Either way, an interesting read that I did enjoy!

[Sue Stacey · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very engaging read. Whether or not you agree her politics…. or the content of her Daily Mail articles….SV can write really well and in a witty and self aware way. Lots of highs and lows and some real heartache from friendships lost through politics.

[✯ Erin ✯ · Rating 3 out of 5]

TW: mild description of Michael Gove’s ‘enthusiastic heterosexuality’

[Camisado · Rating 4 out of 5]

A nice step outside my reading comfort zone: I'm not Conservative, pro-Brexit or even very politically active at all, but this was a fascinating read, and I wish Sarah and her family had been treated much better throughout, to say the least.

[Catriona Scott · Rating 2 out of 5]

I borrowed this from the library - glad I did & didn’t spend any money buying it.
It reminds of Prince Harry trashing his family in a book but wanting the relationship back with them. In this case this book is a love letter to Samantha Cameron of how wonderful & marvellous she is & her amazing friendship. Despite coming to the realisation 3/4 of the way through the book that Samantha used her. There are various chapters disparaging her husband David depicting him as a spoilt child. After Brexit Sarah & her husband Michael Gove were cast aside by the Cameron’s never to be spoken to again. But Sarah still wants her friendship back with Samantha. Is she insane? There are no spoilers here really. It does not give you much of an insight into the political world. It is written in a style of feel sorry for me. Hard to when she writes about going to Chequers at the weekends & being wined & dined at the tax payers expense with expensive wine. She tells you she works incredibly hard at the Daily Mail - she writes 2 columns a week & they could only afford a £1.4 million house in London. I think most of the country would like to be in that position so I feel no pity for her & I really wouldn’t waste your money buying it.

[Deirdre Clancy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Though not really familiar with Sarah Vine's journalism, reading a book relating to a particularly tumultuous period in British politics seemed like a welcome distraction from the craziness occurring in world politics currently. This is a witty and entertaining book, so doesn't disappoint in terms of writing style.

Vine's long experience as a journalist is obviously a contributing factor in this regard, but there is also an honesty about her writing that is at times both disarming and refreshing. This largely seems to stem from the fact that she never really felt like a natural shoe-in to the couples-based friendship group of which she became a part due to her husband, Michael Gove's Oxford connections. The Gove family holidayed regularly with David and Samantha Cameron (along with their respective children) in Ibiza and later, when David Cameron was Prime Minister, went to numerous weekend parties in Chequers consisting of people with names like Venetia.

Throughout the book, Vine has the air of someone who always dreamt of this type of life, in a sense, and so when it arrives, feels duty-bound to embrace it with a jolly-hockey-sticks glee, despite a lingering underlying sense of imposter syndrome. Vine grew up largely in Italy, where her British parents moved when she was five. Her parents met at around 20 and married due to pregnancy.

She describes herself as an abnormally large, clumsy child. Her insensitive, alcoholic father mocked her size and weight from the time she was very young. He regarded female children in particular as only useful insofar as they reflected well on his social image. Naturally, Vine managed to persuade her parents to let her escape to England to complete her schooling, where she promptly went on a starvation diet. She never returned to Italy full time, but managed to successfully complete university and start a career in journalism in England.

Throughout the book, Vine's social aspirations are apparent as a side-effect of childhood loneliness, while at the same time, she mocks the more ridiculous aspects of the life she has dreamt about. On getting a job at Tatler, she writes: 'A golden future of parties, freebies, handsome aristocratic boyfriends, and friends called Biffy and Bunty surely awaited me.' Similarly, she ridicules the shamanic ritual recommended by her hotel while on honeymoon as having been attended also by the Blairs, who apparently loved it (this apparently involved weird rituals in a yurt followed by cleansing in the sea). It's obvious that Vine is fully conscious of the ridiculous side of the quasi-celebrity, affluent life that she has chased, and her humorous self-awareness is what saves the book.

When writing about Tory politics, Vine is clearly very fond of some of the players involved, and for example, obviously regrets the loss of her friendship with Samatha Cameron. She has strong views against the intrusiveness and brutality of the British media in relation to politicians, despite now being a Daily Mail columnist herself. This is understandable, however, due to the effects of the tumultuous years of Michael Gove's prominence on her children's lives, including bullying at school and hostility from teachers (which is profoundly unprofessional, given that the children are not responsible for their father's policies).

Vine says at the start of the book that she hasn't written it to settle scores, but she definitely does settle a few. Additionally, it's difficult to get a sense from the book of the nature of her relationship with her ex-husband. Though she is extremely loyal to him, their marriage comes across more like a business partnership that Vine felt obliged to manage along with other aspects of her life, and it's difficult to get a sense of love, intimacy, or mutuality between them during the time that they were together. The relationship may have had a depth that is not portrayed in the book, perhaps for privacy reasons, but taking the narrative at face value, the marriage feels more like a project managed box-ticking exercise on the part of both parties than anything close to passion. Even the divorce is without fanfare or emotion. They just drift into separate rooms, then separate homes, remaining relatively friendly, if the book is to be believed.

The book is definitely well written and entertaining, and worth a read, for some insight into the toxic nature of British politics and its effects on both friendships and relationships. If nothing else, it is humorous and honest. Vine's inherent feistiness and quirkiness make her a likeable character; her insistence that all is not quite right in the Tories is a courageous take from a former insider.

[Macy Mckay · Rating 2 out of 5]

Such a strange book - especially since Sarah Vine is no longer married to Michael Gove, the political husband in question. I had a strong impression of a book half written during the last government, with an eye to future publication to bolster the retirement fund, then published regardless of the divorce.
Of the divorce, which would seem to be incredibly relevant to her thesis, we are told only that it happened, and the children were upset. She does say that without politics she may still have been married, but gives no indication of why she thinks that. There is zero information on how politics ruined her marriage - from a quick read of the last chapter my impression was that Michael simply didn't like the new house she chose to move the family into, and was off.

For the political geeks there's very, very little information on the Cameron years which isn't already available elsewhere in a lot more detail. Nor is there any sense of why Cameron, Gove et al were actually in politics - what they hoped to achieve for the country; what drove them. We are told, e.g. that Cameron was ready to step down as Prime Minister anyway because Sam Cam was looking to get back into her own career again, which doesn't suggest a deep sense of mission on the part of her husband. Whilst parts of the review of the cause for which Gove is most linked to, Brexit, has already to be false;. Vine repeats the story of Gove's support for Brexit being due to his father's experiences of the EU. A story already denied by Mr Gove senior in the press.

Two stars. One for the stories from Vine's's truly horrible childhood, which could have been the subject whole book itself. One for the picture of the horrible shallow group of Cameronian politicans and hangers on including Vine herself - who throughout the book shows a comical lack of self awareness. I enjoyed her indignation at the cheek of being questioned on the MP's expenses scandal, despite having savaged other politicians and their wives for years.

[Wendy Hannah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have vastly different political views to the author Sarah Vine, but was interested to read her memoir and find out more about her life as the wife of Michael Gove and her thoughts on the people and political events at the time. I am very conflicted now I’ve finished it though!

I listened to the audiobook, read by Sarah, and once I got into the flow and remembered why I was reading it (to experience totally different views to my own), I still didn’t enjoy it, it felt very self indulgent, snobbish and intolerant.

However, Sarah’s account of her childhood and later examples of how she and her children were treated for being Michael Gove’s family are why this book has 3 stars. Written with searing honesty the unfairness and cruelty she has faced in her life helped me understand her better and appreciate that even though I deeply disagree with her politics we all need to be more tolerant of each other.

This book served its purpose and I found some of it interesting and enlightening, and other parts utterly enraging. It certainly at no point made me think I’ve unfairly judged the Conservative Party over the years that’s for sure!

[Rob Brown · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting account that I think might genuinely be of some use historically in a few decades. However I did find Sarah's constant complaints about salary and lifestyle jarring. The first couple of mentions I just put it down to differences of upbringing but eventually it just came across as highly entitled.

it's important to read from points of view you don't share, and I'm glad that I did. btt I'm afraid that this book only hardened my opposition to establishment conservatism.

I liked Gove as an education minister at the time. Although now with distance I can see that his legacy is more mixed than I thought at the time. I was disappointed that Sarah's description of his political opponents was so one dimensional. They were a key character in the relationship but are not sufficiently developed as other key characters eg the Camerons or Sarah's parents.

[Mrs Patricia Walker · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sarah is an excellent writer and for that I must applaud her, but although this is an interesting insight into the world of politics, it also infers that the politicians almost party more than they govern. Gossipy I agree with and although an awful lot of criticism was directed at Michael, Sarah gave the impression that she too was being criticised, which leads me to think she wanted to be the voice behind Michael and would have advised him to tow the party line so that they could have had a quieter life where SHE was welcome and one of them. This is obviously not him. He was and is his own man and had he been given the chance we may not be where we are today had he had the backing of the Tory party. He is principled and for that he has to be admired.

[Bronte · Rating 3 out of 5]

It really does fit that Sarah Vine approaches this book with a Bridget Jones-eque style. She is clearly a clever, witty and engaging writer and I enjoyed her storytelling immensely. The trouble (which is even recognised by Vine in the Epilogue) is that politics is well - politics. With the exception of her children (understandable!), it's very hard to relate to the majority of the names mentioned in the memoir who find themselves layered in complex and almost Shakespearean scrapes. Vine tells the tale of people who are after and then cling to power - no matter the cost. Which feels unsettling and chilling at times. It's hard to take the politics out of a political memoir but it grounds the old adage that the personal is the political too. Really engaging listen on Audible.

[Donna Holland · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting read about behind the scenes Westminster particularly during the Brexit years . As the wife of the senior politician Michael Gove she had a ringside seat to all the machinations going on .
I feel she glosses over a lot of her husband’s issues and we never really get to understand them, apart from she blames politics for all their problems.
Some of her views are in my opinion repellant but then I don’t share her political affiliation. She does complain about people saying unkind personal
comments and then she does exactly the same!!

[Alex Kuklenko · Rating 5 out of 5]

An interesting, entertaining look behind the curtain and into the life of the Gove / Vine family. At times hilarious, and at others sad, Sarah Vine is a brilliant story teller and very good at giving an accessible and informative perspective on modern politics in the UK. Whether or not you align with Sarah Vine politically is irrelevant. This is a book everyone can enjoy.

Especially good if you can listen on audio - Sarah does a great job of reading her own book (often laughing as she recounts funny stories).

[Miss J · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐️
A very readable memoir but I am not sure if I would go as far to call it enjoyable. I was genuinely shocked by Sarah Vine’s difficult upbringing. I also felt for her under the relentless media scrutiny — they were brutal.
But at times she comes across as judgy and scathing. Oh and so many uninteresting people to keep up with. The whole “I am just a working class mum/wife” theme just couldn’t and wouldn’t ring true with all the trappings of Westminster, two houses, elaborate wedding in South of France etc etc.

[Julie Hudson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to LibroFM for the advanced listening copy.

It's always good to read a book by someone from a completely different viewpoint from ones own, even if it sets ones teeth on edge and makes you cross.

I've tried to be fair in my rating as it was well written and gossipy but I feel like when I accidentally get drawn in to reading a piece in the Daily Express that my in laws buy and then pass onto us for lighting the fire.

[Laura · Rating 2 out of 5]

I struggled to get into which is not like me for a gossipy memoir (usually I inhale them).

It didn’t really reveal much of the behind the scenes and it was all just a bit weird. The worship of Sam Cam was very strange (how many times did we need to know she hung out with Tricky whilst at uni?).

All the talk of ‘sets’ was a bit boarding school, it’s an all a bit teenage and at times infuriatingly hypocritical.

It wasn’t fun, all a bit strange and grim.

[Simon Dane · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this far more than I thought I would. No self justification and rewriting of history that some memoirs can be plagued with, but instead a very honest and raw telling of life in the political spotlight. And the cruelty that can be shown to those in the public eye, from both the media and ordinary folk.

[Alan Murphy · Rating 2 out of 5]

A book about someone I didn't know about about who was married to some I don't like (but have found him interesting because he always seemed very switched on) talking about people I couldn't care less about told in a way that feels a bit gossip columny.

I wanted political insights, not how Sam Cameron had a mini rave a chequers for her 40th and said Sarah's black dress looked nice.

[BG Baddie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant writer and actually enjoyable storyteller

Accessible for those not into politics, it doesn’t cover the logistics as much as the whirlwind of being in the limelight whilst still having to deal with being human.

Whilst written from a specific perspective, this was her reality and I thought it was an opening into the psychology of ‘being one of them’.

Recommend!