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Change Lobsters and Dance
"One of Lilli Palmer's most delightful performances," says the Detroit News, "is given in her autobiography"
366 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1974
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
August 7, 2015
Ah, Lilli Palmer.
I wanted to read this memoir because I fell in love with Lilli Palmer's face a little when I watched Mädchen in Uniform. Who was this woman whose countenance, with every change of the camera angle, shifted between a likeness of Lucille Ball, Audrey Hepburn, and Julie Andrews? Who was this actress whose presence -- somehow both youthful and regal -- was so commanding that I was holding my breath when she was onscreen?
Unfortunately, Lilli Palmer's memoir isn't nearly as exciting as that onscreen presence.
The real problem with this memoir is that it's a lot of performance and very little substance. (Actresses writing books, anyone?) Lilli doesn't seem to get that readers want to know about her, and thus she's written a book about everyone but herself. That's problematic for readers like me who couldn't give a rip what it was like working with Clark Gable, partying with Gary Cooper, hosting Greta Garbo, entertaining Noël Coward, meeting Helen Keller, summering with Wallis Simpson and Prince Edward, etc. etc. etc. When Palmer isn't discussing her famous friends, she's entirely fixated on the career of her husband, Rex Harrison, while only permitting herself to reprint one or two of her own positive reviews.
There are scant seconds of interesting moments -- referring to herself as a "fat" young woman when she couldn't have been more than 135 pounds; casually mentioning binge eating and swallowing handfuls of laxatives; revealing tidbits about the hot Latin lover she took after discovering her husband was boning a costar half his age; coming to terms with being a Jew returning to Germany 20 years after World War II -- but these are too few and far between.
And what a disappointment.
I kept waiting for the part where she'd tell us what the hell she was doing in a 1958 West German movie about lesbians. What was it like to make a movie that was 50 years ahead of its time? Was there critical or public backlash? What made her agree to do the film in the first place? But alas, we only learn that her costar gave her flowers on the first day of shooting.
Sigh.
Well. Okay, maybe she'll tell us what sparked her interest in doing The House that Screamed, another film with strong homosexual overtones and themes of torture, mental abuse, and incest. What was Lilli doing making a film like that...in good ol' Catholic Spain...in 1969? What brought on the desire? And what happened next?
Again, we get nothing.
Okay, so what was it like making The Counterfeit Traitor? Did Willaim Holden behave himself, or was he slipping the tongue on bad takes and falling down drunk between scenes? What was it like to play a woman whose grim fate so easily could have been her own?
>>Cue to crickets chirping<<
But Lilli, surely there must be something you're willing to give up to your readers? Did you really like doing all of those whitewashed American films, or were you into the darker and more complex things you were filming in Europe? Which male costar was the best kisser? What were you really feeling when you found out Rex Harrison was fucking Kay Kendall?
Really, Lilli. Who are you?
Well, that's one question you should never have to ask at the end of a memoir.
Lilli Palmer was an amazing actress, a gifted painter, and she had one of the most captivating faces I've ever seen. But we can't all be perfect.
Her book isn't worth reading.
Not good. Not bad.
Meh. Whatever.
I wanted to read this memoir because I fell in love with Lilli Palmer's face a little when I watched Mädchen in Uniform. Who was this woman whose countenance, with every change of the camera angle, shifted between a likeness of Lucille Ball, Audrey Hepburn, and Julie Andrews? Who was this actress whose presence -- somehow both youthful and regal -- was so commanding that I was holding my breath when she was onscreen?
Unfortunately, Lilli Palmer's memoir isn't nearly as exciting as that onscreen presence.
The real problem with this memoir is that it's a lot of performance and very little substance. (Actresses writing books, anyone?) Lilli doesn't seem to get that readers want to know about her, and thus she's written a book about everyone but herself. That's problematic for readers like me who couldn't give a rip what it was like working with Clark Gable, partying with Gary Cooper, hosting Greta Garbo, entertaining Noël Coward, meeting Helen Keller, summering with Wallis Simpson and Prince Edward, etc. etc. etc. When Palmer isn't discussing her famous friends, she's entirely fixated on the career of her husband, Rex Harrison, while only permitting herself to reprint one or two of her own positive reviews.
There are scant seconds of interesting moments -- referring to herself as a "fat" young woman when she couldn't have been more than 135 pounds; casually mentioning binge eating and swallowing handfuls of laxatives; revealing tidbits about the hot Latin lover she took after discovering her husband was boning a costar half his age; coming to terms with being a Jew returning to Germany 20 years after World War II -- but these are too few and far between.
And what a disappointment.
I kept waiting for the part where she'd tell us what the hell she was doing in a 1958 West German movie about lesbians. What was it like to make a movie that was 50 years ahead of its time? Was there critical or public backlash? What made her agree to do the film in the first place? But alas, we only learn that her costar gave her flowers on the first day of shooting.
Sigh.
Well. Okay, maybe she'll tell us what sparked her interest in doing The House that Screamed, another film with strong homosexual overtones and themes of torture, mental abuse, and incest. What was Lilli doing making a film like that...in good ol' Catholic Spain...in 1969? What brought on the desire? And what happened next?
Again, we get nothing.
Okay, so what was it like making The Counterfeit Traitor? Did Willaim Holden behave himself, or was he slipping the tongue on bad takes and falling down drunk between scenes? What was it like to play a woman whose grim fate so easily could have been her own?
>>Cue to crickets chirping<<
But Lilli, surely there must be something you're willing to give up to your readers? Did you really like doing all of those whitewashed American films, or were you into the darker and more complex things you were filming in Europe? Which male costar was the best kisser? What were you really feeling when you found out Rex Harrison was fucking Kay Kendall?
Really, Lilli. Who are you?
Well, that's one question you should never have to ask at the end of a memoir.
Lilli Palmer was an amazing actress, a gifted painter, and she had one of the most captivating faces I've ever seen. But we can't all be perfect.
Her book isn't worth reading.
Not good. Not bad.
Meh. Whatever.
October 13, 2019
My favorite book! Written with such a genuine touch that one can't help but feel for her! On a personal note: this book quite actually saved my life. I was in a very bad place and on the verge of suicide; but I decided to buy a copy of this book, read it, and cried. Nothing has ever been more relatable to me, nor has ever brought me to my senses as this book has. Thank you Lilli, you're wonderful!
July 31, 2014
Intelligent, highly amusing and fascinating. A life and woman worth reading about.
August 25, 2011
I always liked Lilli Palmer as an actress and found her autobiography to be fascinating, especially her marriage to Rex Harrison.
October 27, 2020
I enjoyed reading this so much and I already miss her voice, her way of narrating her own life. She had a fascinating life and met so many of the greats, could read on for many more hours but sadly I'm through. Guess I now need to watch more of her films
April 10, 2015
It is an autobiography from an interesting, inspiring and strong woman....I loved to read it...it is one of my Alltime-Faves!
June 2, 2015
Ik vond het wel een interessant boek, hoewel ik volgens mij nooit een film heb gezien met haar. Het is wat voor mij tijd. Lilli Palmer was actrice en toneelspeelster tijdens en na de Tweede Wereldoorlog. Ik heb dit boek gekregen van mijn schoonmoeder. Zij is geboren in 1930, dus zal Lilli Palmer wel als actrice gekend hebben. Het boek is wel interessant, omdat het gaat over Lilli's vlucht uit Duitsland, omdat ze Joods is. Ook gaat het over haar leven daarna, waarbij ze ook nog een tijdje in Hollywood woont. Het boek geeft een inkijkje in hoe het leven als actrice destijds was. Lilli Palmer heeft wel een bewogen, maar ook interessant leven gehad. Ze heeft in verschillende landen gewoond en ook moeilijke periodes meegemaakt. Ook daar vertelt ze over.
April 29, 2009
Lilli Palmer has a wonderful voice for storytelling! A great read.
November 20, 2024
nee, das war nichts für mich.
nicht wirklich gut, auch nicht richtig schlecht, aber es schleppt sich dahin und wenn ich bereits so lang schon gebraucht habe für nur die hälfte des buches, dann möchte ich keine lebenszeit mehr vergeuden und breche lieber ab. dann jetzt was spannenderes. habe nicht mehr soviele jahre, um sie mit zäher lektüre zu vergeuden. drei sterne gibt es trotzdem, denn manches war richtig gut. nur zu wenig davon. deshalb nur etwas für eingefleischte fans, aber empfehlen möchte ich das buch nicht. muss jeder selbst für sich entscheiden.
nicht wirklich gut, auch nicht richtig schlecht, aber es schleppt sich dahin und wenn ich bereits so lang schon gebraucht habe für nur die hälfte des buches, dann möchte ich keine lebenszeit mehr vergeuden und breche lieber ab. dann jetzt was spannenderes. habe nicht mehr soviele jahre, um sie mit zäher lektüre zu vergeuden. drei sterne gibt es trotzdem, denn manches war richtig gut. nur zu wenig davon. deshalb nur etwas für eingefleischte fans, aber empfehlen möchte ich das buch nicht. muss jeder selbst für sich entscheiden.
Want to read
October 14, 2022Hardback edition.
January 12, 2026
she had a whole diary where she reviewed the films she watched, wrote all the names of actors she admired and then accomplished to meet (technically, she invented letterboxd).
she also hated parties and hollywood lifestyle, but she managed to live throughout that. and in the end, it was worth it because she got her happy and hopeful ending.
i'll never forget she had long walks with garbo and protected her at all costs from the press harassment, or her passion for painting and her consecration as a painter, a thing she was proud of.
she had many faces. everytime, i felt i was chatting to a friend or to a loved one. she had this thing of knowing how to describe herself objectively and yet an with an impeccable sense of humour.
i'm so glad i got to know lilli palmer through her own words, it's just a treasure to own a copy of her book as well.
the world truly slept on lilli palmer btw.
she also hated parties and hollywood lifestyle, but she managed to live throughout that. and in the end, it was worth it because she got her happy and hopeful ending.
i'll never forget she had long walks with garbo and protected her at all costs from the press harassment, or her passion for painting and her consecration as a painter, a thing she was proud of.
she had many faces. everytime, i felt i was chatting to a friend or to a loved one. she had this thing of knowing how to describe herself objectively and yet an with an impeccable sense of humour.
i'm so glad i got to know lilli palmer through her own words, it's just a treasure to own a copy of her book as well.
the world truly slept on lilli palmer btw.
July 13, 2019
Another celebrity autobiography that I read while knowing nothing about the celebrity. To this day, I can't swear I've ever seen Lilli Palmer in anything, but I very much enjoyed the book. Her transition from actor to painter was especially interesting.
September 1, 2025
kind of trashy and good for me
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews