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Communicate to Influence: How to Inspire Your Audience to Action
“The gold standard” of communication training programs (USA Today) shows leaders how to deliver messages that don’t just inform but influence and inspire others to action
It isn’t just about the message, it’s about the messenger. It isn’t just about what you say, but how you say it. Communicate to Influence helps you turn your messages of information into messages of influence.
Using the trademarked Decker Method, the book teaches you how to determine where your communications experience falls within the Communication Quadrant framework. Are you informing or leading? If you’re leading, is it by authority or influence? You can then tailor your communications to establish trust and drive real change.
305 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 13, 2015
69 people are currently reading
483 people want to read
About the author
Ben Decker
7 books6 followersThe leading business communications expert, Ben bridges the gap between executive leaders and their teams. As CEO of Decker Communications, Inc., Ben has worked with hundreds of leaders in Fortune 500 companies to create and implement communications solutions that are practical, direct, and attainable.
Renowned as a speaker’s speaker, Ben regularly addresses large audiences on the importance of creating a communication experience, developing executive presence, and the communications of a leader. He has been featured at large conferences and kickoffs for companies such as Marriott, Robert Half International, Hewlett-Packard, Million Dollar Roundtable, CHRISTUS Health, and Exponent.
Ben also coaches C-level executives from major organizations, including Charles Schwab, McKesson, Cisco, Bacardi, U.S. Coast Guard, JPMorgan Chase, AT&T, and Kaiser Permanente, as well as start-ups and portfolio companies seeking to raise capital. Ben’s prior experience and success in sales and sales management in the telecommunications and surgical industries validated the importance of communicating effectively, even in the briefest interactions.
Ben has been steeped in the Decker Method his entire life. Early in his “career,” he remembers being videotaped prior to his junior high book reports. In hindsight, he can certainly see the value of it, but the jury is still out on whether or not he’ll subject his own three boys to the same. Family time is his most important treasure, and he’s always protecting the calendar to spend time with his and Kelly’s three sons, Jackson, Joseph, and Christopher. Ben holds a BS in psychology from California Polytechnic State University, San Luis Obispo.
Renowned as a speaker’s speaker, Ben regularly addresses large audiences on the importance of creating a communication experience, developing executive presence, and the communications of a leader. He has been featured at large conferences and kickoffs for companies such as Marriott, Robert Half International, Hewlett-Packard, Million Dollar Roundtable, CHRISTUS Health, and Exponent.
Ben also coaches C-level executives from major organizations, including Charles Schwab, McKesson, Cisco, Bacardi, U.S. Coast Guard, JPMorgan Chase, AT&T, and Kaiser Permanente, as well as start-ups and portfolio companies seeking to raise capital. Ben’s prior experience and success in sales and sales management in the telecommunications and surgical industries validated the importance of communicating effectively, even in the briefest interactions.
Ben has been steeped in the Decker Method his entire life. Early in his “career,” he remembers being videotaped prior to his junior high book reports. In hindsight, he can certainly see the value of it, but the jury is still out on whether or not he’ll subject his own three boys to the same. Family time is his most important treasure, and he’s always protecting the calendar to spend time with his and Kelly’s three sons, Jackson, Joseph, and Christopher. Ben holds a BS in psychology from California Polytechnic State University, San Luis Obispo.
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January 3, 2020
Co-authors, business partners, and life partners Kelly and Ben Decker walk you through their method of creating engaging presentations that win people over and lead to the results you want. Each chapter ends with exercises to help you eradicate behaviors that hold you back and adopt a stronger communication style. You’ll learn about the number-one thing you need to do before planning your presentation narrative (hint: it has nothing to do with you), and the power of the rule of three. Make sure you have a highlighter handy once you start reading this one.
Notes from the book:
More and more people are looking to inspire, not just inform, at their companies. One idea: Hertz holds TOM Talks. TOM = Total Open Mind (which is Hertz’s shorthand for an entrepreneurial, innovation orientation.) Exec team selects four people worldwide to deliver an inspiring message in 12 minutes or less at their annual leadership conference. It’s now one of the most popular parts of their program.
You need to create an emotional connection by
1. Show warmth, care, and interest, as well as competence so we can engage others as we deliver a message
2. Add emotion to our content. Use stories, analogies, and even humor. “Stories, especially those that reveal personal vulnerability, help us get to know that person and further increase that connection…"
There are 5 Behaviors of Trust:
Make the Connection: Eye communication
Keep Them Tuned in with Energy: Posture and Movement; Gestures and facial expressions; Voice and vocal variety
Boost Credibility: Pausing (pausing can also help you avoid using a filler word, like “um” or “you know”). It also helps you breathe! Good practice technique: try to overdo the pause.
Create Emotional Connection through SHARPs
Stories - have the most power. “Let me tell you a story.”
Humor
Analogies
References
Pictures and Visuals
Rules for storytelling:
* Begin with the End in Mind - know that everything you say leads to the ending.
* Make Me Care (the greatest story commandment)
* Make the Audience Work for Its Meal - create a curiosity gap. Storytelling is the well-organized absence of information. Draws people in and makes them want to know more. “Drama is anticipation mingled with uncertainty.” (William Archer) Give people kernels of information so they try to figure things out and connect the dots.
* Make it Personal - share something about yourself.
Watch Andrew Stanton’s TED Talk “The Clues to a Great Story”
“What would happen if you wanted to persuade a bunch of people to come along with you on a journey? What are the two things you need to do? Well, you’ve got to start where they are and you’ve got to give them a reason to come with you.” Chris Anderson
Presentation Prep
1. Start with pad of sticky notes.
2. Write trigger words (1 - 7 words to trigger your idea) on sticky notes.
3. Move the pieces around to figure out flow
Spend a lot of time figuring out your Cornerstones (your key messages) - Think about the listeners first, then the POV you want to share, what need to do (concrete action steps), what’s the benefit to audience (make it as individual as possible).
POV =
* Your big idea - the one thing you want everyone in the room to walk away with
* The biggest change in how you want your listeners to think about or act on your idea
* The “ask” without showing your selfish ambition; highlighting why it’s relevant to them
https://decker.com/wp-content/uploads...
(Also search under images for some Slideshare presentations)
Remember the Rule of Three: Omni Trim Perfectum (Everything that comes in threes is perfect)
Stop, drop, and roll
Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness
Veni, vidi, vici
A good opening is critical to setting the tone for your message and giving your listeners a reason to listen.
Keep listeners’ attention by bringing in a SHARP at regular points in the presentation
End strong! Make closing as memorable as possible.
Rules for Panels
1. Look at audience - invite them in with your eyes. 80 percent to audience, 20% to moderator
2. Have fun! - Banter with other panelists and play off of them. Smile.
3. Keep your energy up - when sitting down, energy is lower. Project your voice. Use gestures. Lean forward towards audience.
4. Be aware of how you can distract when you are listening to other panelists. “You’re always on!"
5. Have some SHARPs to share. Don’t just share a straight or factual answer. Help the audience “see” what you’re discussing.
After every presentation, look for feedback using the 3 x 3 rule. What are three things to Keep? (Did well at.) What are three things to Improve?
Notes from the book:
More and more people are looking to inspire, not just inform, at their companies. One idea: Hertz holds TOM Talks. TOM = Total Open Mind (which is Hertz’s shorthand for an entrepreneurial, innovation orientation.) Exec team selects four people worldwide to deliver an inspiring message in 12 minutes or less at their annual leadership conference. It’s now one of the most popular parts of their program.
You need to create an emotional connection by
1. Show warmth, care, and interest, as well as competence so we can engage others as we deliver a message
2. Add emotion to our content. Use stories, analogies, and even humor. “Stories, especially those that reveal personal vulnerability, help us get to know that person and further increase that connection…"
There are 5 Behaviors of Trust:
Make the Connection: Eye communication
Keep Them Tuned in with Energy: Posture and Movement; Gestures and facial expressions; Voice and vocal variety
Boost Credibility: Pausing (pausing can also help you avoid using a filler word, like “um” or “you know”). It also helps you breathe! Good practice technique: try to overdo the pause.
Create Emotional Connection through SHARPs
Stories - have the most power. “Let me tell you a story.”
Humor
Analogies
References
Pictures and Visuals
Rules for storytelling:
* Begin with the End in Mind - know that everything you say leads to the ending.
* Make Me Care (the greatest story commandment)
* Make the Audience Work for Its Meal - create a curiosity gap. Storytelling is the well-organized absence of information. Draws people in and makes them want to know more. “Drama is anticipation mingled with uncertainty.” (William Archer) Give people kernels of information so they try to figure things out and connect the dots.
* Make it Personal - share something about yourself.
Watch Andrew Stanton’s TED Talk “The Clues to a Great Story”
“What would happen if you wanted to persuade a bunch of people to come along with you on a journey? What are the two things you need to do? Well, you’ve got to start where they are and you’ve got to give them a reason to come with you.” Chris Anderson
Presentation Prep
1. Start with pad of sticky notes.
2. Write trigger words (1 - 7 words to trigger your idea) on sticky notes.
3. Move the pieces around to figure out flow
Spend a lot of time figuring out your Cornerstones (your key messages) - Think about the listeners first, then the POV you want to share, what need to do (concrete action steps), what’s the benefit to audience (make it as individual as possible).
POV =
* Your big idea - the one thing you want everyone in the room to walk away with
* The biggest change in how you want your listeners to think about or act on your idea
* The “ask” without showing your selfish ambition; highlighting why it’s relevant to them
https://decker.com/wp-content/uploads...
(Also search under images for some Slideshare presentations)
Remember the Rule of Three: Omni Trim Perfectum (Everything that comes in threes is perfect)
Stop, drop, and roll
Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness
Veni, vidi, vici
A good opening is critical to setting the tone for your message and giving your listeners a reason to listen.
Keep listeners’ attention by bringing in a SHARP at regular points in the presentation
End strong! Make closing as memorable as possible.
Rules for Panels
1. Look at audience - invite them in with your eyes. 80 percent to audience, 20% to moderator
2. Have fun! - Banter with other panelists and play off of them. Smile.
3. Keep your energy up - when sitting down, energy is lower. Project your voice. Use gestures. Lean forward towards audience.
4. Be aware of how you can distract when you are listening to other panelists. “You’re always on!"
5. Have some SHARPs to share. Don’t just share a straight or factual answer. Help the audience “see” what you’re discussing.
After every presentation, look for feedback using the 3 x 3 rule. What are three things to Keep? (Did well at.) What are three things to Improve?
October 2, 2023
Helpful in specific ways. Yes, the tools were nice. I’ve applied some. The largest value, to me, was the undergirding philosophy emphasized in the first half of the book. The beauty of skillful communication is that it’s a created, curated experience. Leveraging empathy, the communicator gains vision and energy to create. That simple idea has injected excitement into my ‘two steps forward, one step back’ journey of learning the skill. I love creating! Re-framing communication as creating a valuable experience for others using my words has actually made all the difference in making the journey fun vs miserable.
May 5, 2015
Should you be really surprised? A book authored by two respected, internationally known communications experts delivers an excellent, inspirational, thoughtful and actionable book. Guess what, the Pope is Catholic and as for what bears do in the woods…
So this book achieved, without breaking into a sweat, what it sets out to teach the reader: the art of communicating whereby your turn your messages of information into messages of influence. At first, the idea of using a “communications quadrant framework” to determine whether you are “informing or leading” sounds like hard work, something overly theoretical and best suited to academia. The reality is much different. The authors tell you how to communicate the spoken word and you don’t need to be an accomplished public speaker either.
Why stop there. As well as being a better speaker, the authors believe that you will also become a better leader in your organisation, a better partner in your marriage, a better parent to your children and a better friend to your friends, all through the art of communication and influence. What is there not to like about this?
This is not one of those boastful, hype-filled books that seem to litter bookstores and bookshelves around the world, where promises are not transformed to reality. The authors deliver their advice in a fairly matter-of-fact, direct way. Hype is not needed. Faith and belief are the two attributes required. Real world examples are carefully woven into the book, allowing the reader to place themselves in a given situation and get an all-round view of matters and learn the winning solution.
Reading this book was a pleasure, even if it did cause a few occasions where this reviewer felt a bit of a “red face” as the advice given was a little too close to home. Change is necessary…
There is not a lot more to say. One could wax lyrically for hundreds of words and then some about this book. Only one other word is necessary. Buy!
Communicate to Influence, written by Ben Decker & Kelly Decker and published by McGraw-Hill Professional. ISBN 9780071839839, 304 pages. YYYYY
So this book achieved, without breaking into a sweat, what it sets out to teach the reader: the art of communicating whereby your turn your messages of information into messages of influence. At first, the idea of using a “communications quadrant framework” to determine whether you are “informing or leading” sounds like hard work, something overly theoretical and best suited to academia. The reality is much different. The authors tell you how to communicate the spoken word and you don’t need to be an accomplished public speaker either.
Why stop there. As well as being a better speaker, the authors believe that you will also become a better leader in your organisation, a better partner in your marriage, a better parent to your children and a better friend to your friends, all through the art of communication and influence. What is there not to like about this?
This is not one of those boastful, hype-filled books that seem to litter bookstores and bookshelves around the world, where promises are not transformed to reality. The authors deliver their advice in a fairly matter-of-fact, direct way. Hype is not needed. Faith and belief are the two attributes required. Real world examples are carefully woven into the book, allowing the reader to place themselves in a given situation and get an all-round view of matters and learn the winning solution.
Reading this book was a pleasure, even if it did cause a few occasions where this reviewer felt a bit of a “red face” as the advice given was a little too close to home. Change is necessary…
There is not a lot more to say. One could wax lyrically for hundreds of words and then some about this book. Only one other word is necessary. Buy!
Communicate to Influence, written by Ben Decker & Kelly Decker and published by McGraw-Hill Professional. ISBN 9780071839839, 304 pages. YYYYY
June 19, 2015
The most useful and practical business book I’ve read this year… and I speak as an introvert! Though the book focuses on business communication, I find it equally relevant for teachers and parents as much as it is relevant for managers and executives.
This book is a comprehensive tome on the art of delivering the message; years of spoken communication insight distilled and tightened into a quick 250 page read. Every chapter is so uniquely informative that months after you finish the book, you’ll be well served by having it on your desk as a reference.
Among the foundations of this book (and by extension, the self-described “Decker Method”):
1.) Business communication is a learned skill, as opposed to a natural predisposition. (Good for me; I'm a terrible public speaker.)
2.) People (at least in modern, western culture) respond better to being inspired into action, as opposed to ordered to do things, or passively informed.
3.) It’s possible to become an inspirational communicator, but it takes a lot of work too.
To the third point, each chapter ends with exercises that will make you uncomfortable. Like taking a video of yourself speaking, which I presume is 10x worse than listening to a recording of yourself. A full 20% of the book is spent on having you identify nervous behaviors to purge, and replacing them with more sympathetic behaviors, like focusing on people for 7-10 seconds at a time (5 seconds if in large groups).
Easy to write. Hard to do unless practiced.
Like any good business book there are many acronyms to help interalize the lessons; unlike most business books I’ve read this year there is a metaphorical silver bullet (“The Decker Grid”), but one that actually looks like it will help you get your job done. You just have to define your message, not wing it, and practice.
This book gives you the tools you need to communicate your vision with co-workers, peers, and others throughout your organization and community. It’s a fantastic resource, and one I would definitely recommend to others.
This book is a comprehensive tome on the art of delivering the message; years of spoken communication insight distilled and tightened into a quick 250 page read. Every chapter is so uniquely informative that months after you finish the book, you’ll be well served by having it on your desk as a reference.
Among the foundations of this book (and by extension, the self-described “Decker Method”):
1.) Business communication is a learned skill, as opposed to a natural predisposition. (Good for me; I'm a terrible public speaker.)
2.) People (at least in modern, western culture) respond better to being inspired into action, as opposed to ordered to do things, or passively informed.
3.) It’s possible to become an inspirational communicator, but it takes a lot of work too.
To the third point, each chapter ends with exercises that will make you uncomfortable. Like taking a video of yourself speaking, which I presume is 10x worse than listening to a recording of yourself. A full 20% of the book is spent on having you identify nervous behaviors to purge, and replacing them with more sympathetic behaviors, like focusing on people for 7-10 seconds at a time (5 seconds if in large groups).
Easy to write. Hard to do unless practiced.
Like any good business book there are many acronyms to help interalize the lessons; unlike most business books I’ve read this year there is a metaphorical silver bullet (“The Decker Grid”), but one that actually looks like it will help you get your job done. You just have to define your message, not wing it, and practice.
This book gives you the tools you need to communicate your vision with co-workers, peers, and others throughout your organization and community. It’s a fantastic resource, and one I would definitely recommend to others.
February 7, 2018
I really enjoyed reading this. When I started I thought it would be just another basic book that gives vague ideas but little in the way of action steps. I was wrong. Plenty of action steps that were clearly explained! The authors also offer resources to continue to improve your communication skills particularly in public speaking.
October 5, 2024
*Communicate to Influence*
*Author: Ben Decker, Kelly Decker*
Genre: Non Fiction - Business
Moods: Informative✓
Pace: Medium✓
*Communicate to Influence* is a detailed guide to being an effective communicator. This covers everything from choosing the right voice to knowing how to structure and deliver your message to knowing the right communication styles for you.
*4 Types of communication styles:*
1) Informing
2) Directing
3) Entertaining
4) Inspiring (emotional, engaging and action stimulating style of communication)
*Key points and takeaways:*
* Tailor your message to your audience.
* Use storytelling to make your message more compelling.
* Use clear and simple language.
* Use persuasive techniques such as emotional appeals and logical reasoning.
* Use nonverbal communication such as body language and tone of voice to reinforce your message.
* Use active listening to understand the perspectives of others.
* Use repetition to emphasize key points.
* Use credibility, such as expertise and experience, to build trust with your audience.
* Use visual aids, such as charts and diagrams, to make your message more engaging.
* Emphasize the benefits of taking the action you're proposing.
*Use facts, data, and statistics to support your points.
* Show empathy, understanding and respect in your communication.
* Practice active listening and be responsive to feedback.
* Be flexible and willing to adjust your message if needed by embracing a growth mindset.
My Rating: 3.5/5
*Author: Ben Decker, Kelly Decker*
Genre: Non Fiction - Business
Moods: Informative✓
Pace: Medium✓
*Communicate to Influence* is a detailed guide to being an effective communicator. This covers everything from choosing the right voice to knowing how to structure and deliver your message to knowing the right communication styles for you.
*4 Types of communication styles:*
1) Informing
2) Directing
3) Entertaining
4) Inspiring (emotional, engaging and action stimulating style of communication)
*Key points and takeaways:*
* Tailor your message to your audience.
* Use storytelling to make your message more compelling.
* Use clear and simple language.
* Use persuasive techniques such as emotional appeals and logical reasoning.
* Use nonverbal communication such as body language and tone of voice to reinforce your message.
* Use active listening to understand the perspectives of others.
* Use repetition to emphasize key points.
* Use credibility, such as expertise and experience, to build trust with your audience.
* Use visual aids, such as charts and diagrams, to make your message more engaging.
* Emphasize the benefits of taking the action you're proposing.
*Use facts, data, and statistics to support your points.
* Show empathy, understanding and respect in your communication.
* Practice active listening and be responsive to feedback.
* Be flexible and willing to adjust your message if needed by embracing a growth mindset.
My Rating: 3.5/5
March 30, 2018
I'm the logical type. "Here's 3 things you need to know..." What can be easier than that? Put on your listening ears and we'll be out of here in 5 minutes! I am frustrated by the "need for better communication." Generally speaking, we have a listening problem rather than a communication problem. Yes, I am positive that I am right about this ;-) The problem is, I can be as right as I want but that gets me nowhere. If I want to get my point across I need to help people be better listeners. Decker & Decker present a helpful way for me to get off my high horse.
April 3, 2018
Building an emotional connection with your audience is critical to inspiring action. Conveying authenticity and warmth through your behaviors and your voice, as well as adding emotional triggers to your content, will foster this connection. Using the Decker Grid to develop a well-structured, unscripted message will facilitate the delivery of an effective communication.
June 3, 2018
To gain attention and be heard, combine inspiring content with authenticity. Logic makes us think but a well told story can make us feel. Deliver one brief statement that sums up the entire message and provides obvious reason for the audience to do something. Record yourself to see how you can improve. Speak from your diaphragm not your throat
March 28, 2020
All the things we should be doing / focused on when connecting with others both at work and at home, but aren’t. A great, simple roadmap to inspiration and influence.
May 24, 2020
Interesting at first, then very VERY very repetitive. And limited to certain industries; the scope was not wide enough for me.
June 22, 2024
Contains many good ideas for the modern age. The lackluster second half prevents it from being great.
December 24, 2015
I completed the Decker Communicate to Influence class earlier this year. The class was a part of my 2015 personal development focus area to improve my "executive presence". Six months had passed since I took the class and reading this book was a good reminder on what I learned and reflection for my personal growth in communication this year thanks to several of these strategies.
The core of this book teaches you foster an authentic style in how communicate that focuses on audience centered content. Decker offers a structured approach for how to do this using the "decker grid" that is well outlined in this book. I personally found this approach to be helpful in a variety of settings including planned and unplanned work and personal communication encounters. I found this book to be a pretty easy read. The chapters read fast and provide solid references to support key points. The book is also written with a balanced approach for how we all individually communicate. If you are looking to improve in that are I recommend you read this book.
The core of this book teaches you foster an authentic style in how communicate that focuses on audience centered content. Decker offers a structured approach for how to do this using the "decker grid" that is well outlined in this book. I personally found this approach to be helpful in a variety of settings including planned and unplanned work and personal communication encounters. I found this book to be a pretty easy read. The chapters read fast and provide solid references to support key points. The book is also written with a balanced approach for how we all individually communicate. If you are looking to improve in that are I recommend you read this book.
January 14, 2017
It took me a long time to read this relatively short book and that was mostly because I got bored and took a long break before finally finishing it. The issue that I have is that the author waits until about 100 pages in to get to his point which is the Decker Method of preparing presentations which seems genuinely interesting and practical. That being said I hate to use the "this could have been a blog" cliche but, although this wouldn't be a single blog entry it would have been better suited for three or four. The information is good but because there isn't that much of it Decker is forced to fill a bunch of (narrowly marginalized) pages with filler anecdotes that aren't really necessary for get his point across. This would seem ironic given the subject matter of the book but I actually don't think "be concise" is one of his pointers so touché.
Still, the Decker Method does seem really handy for someone looking to prepare a presentation so do yourself a favor and skip to that point in the book.
Still, the Decker Method does seem really handy for someone looking to prepare a presentation so do yourself a favor and skip to that point in the book.
August 3, 2015
I found this practical guide to developing audience centered messages very helpful. The authors lay out compelling reasons to work harder on improving our communication skills. They also offer a framework for presenting our ideas to an audience. I was inspired to put into practice the insights I gained from reading this book!
December 17, 2015
Not only did they cover quite well the grid I use to plan out my messages, they applied it to beyond just public speaking. All speaking with another person is public speaking whether it's a meeting, an email, a voicemail, an article. This book's message really shares the why and how to shift our communication from boring information to inspiring messages.
September 9, 2016
Great fresh approach to communication generally either 1:1 or in a meeting or a conference presentation. it also recommends clear actions to get better.
September 22, 2016
A good book for skill set, but it could have been shorter or more compact.
December 25, 2016
I've had the pleasure of attending two of Decker's face to face workshops -- this book is a great way to share their expertise in a new way (and get a refresher!)
April 26, 2017
Untuk kau yang mahukan ilmu bercakap dan bagaimana nak mempengaruhi audien. Buku ini boleh dibuat rujukan paling power.
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