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A Fractured Mind: My Life with Multiple Personality Disorder
In 1989, Robert B. Oxnam, the successful China scholar and president of the Asia Society, faced up to what he thought was his biggest personal alcoholism. But this dependency masked a problem far more Multiple Personality Disorder.
At the peak of his professional career, after having led the Asia Society for nearly a decade, Oxnam was haunted by periodic blackouts and episodic rages. After his family and friends intervened, Oxnam received help from a psychiatrist, Dr. Jeffrey Smith, and entered a rehab center. It wasn't until 1990 during a session with Dr. Smith that the first of Oxnam's eleven alternate personalities--an angry young boy named Tommy--suddenly emerged. With Dr. Smith's help, Oxnam began the exhausting and fascinating process of uncovering his many personalities and the childhood trauma that caused his condition. This is the powerful and moving story of one person's struggle with this terrifying illness. The book includes an epilogue by Dr. Smith in which he describes Robert's case, the treatment, and the nature of multiple personality disorder. Robert's courage in facing his situation and overcoming his painful past makes for a dramatic and inspiring book.
At the peak of his professional career, after having led the Asia Society for nearly a decade, Oxnam was haunted by periodic blackouts and episodic rages. After his family and friends intervened, Oxnam received help from a psychiatrist, Dr. Jeffrey Smith, and entered a rehab center. It wasn't until 1990 during a session with Dr. Smith that the first of Oxnam's eleven alternate personalities--an angry young boy named Tommy--suddenly emerged. With Dr. Smith's help, Oxnam began the exhausting and fascinating process of uncovering his many personalities and the childhood trauma that caused his condition. This is the powerful and moving story of one person's struggle with this terrifying illness. The book includes an epilogue by Dr. Smith in which he describes Robert's case, the treatment, and the nature of multiple personality disorder. Robert's courage in facing his situation and overcoming his painful past makes for a dramatic and inspiring book.
304 pages, Hardcover
First published October 1, 2005
117 people are currently reading
3881 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 169 reviews
August 29, 2023
Interesting for a psychologist to read, and for all trauma victims who dissociate.
June 16, 2017
20151015 ◊ Take an astonishing mental disorder. Add one entitled, unsympathetic protagonist. Mix in a generous amount of unsatisfactory storytelling. Sprinkle in a healthy dose of humblebragging. Drop a name in. Drop some more names in. Tell everyone that you don't mean to drop names while you dump a few more right in. Limply swish everything back and forth for awhile. Pour everything into a negligently edited plot. Garnish with a wildly corny, overblown voice actor, and what do you get?
A bad book, badly narrated.
There are plenty of books on this fascinating, heartbreaking disorder, written by survivors and the therapists who treat them. They are almost all of them better than this one.
Nobody should go through traumatic childhood abuse. I think it's helpful for personal narratives on mental disorders to be published, so that people can learn, understand, assist, and act as advocates for victims and survivors. But a badly written book is a badly written book; the publishers of this one should have given it a pass, and so should you.
A bad book, badly narrated.
There are plenty of books on this fascinating, heartbreaking disorder, written by survivors and the therapists who treat them. They are almost all of them better than this one.
Nobody should go through traumatic childhood abuse. I think it's helpful for personal narratives on mental disorders to be published, so that people can learn, understand, assist, and act as advocates for victims and survivors. But a badly written book is a badly written book; the publishers of this one should have given it a pass, and so should you.
December 2, 2019
This book starts slowly - the initial sections with Bob describing his life and career in Asian studies and diplomatic relations are quite dull - I would ask that you give this book time to develop, because it's a rare bird in the field of memoirs that deal with multiple systems, and I'll try to explain why.
Firstly, this is not a book about trauma. Yes, trauma is mentioned, as is Bob's struggle with addiction, but they are mentioned in passing and are not the focus of this work.
Secondly, what IS the focus of this work are the system members, their inner world, their dynamics with each other and with those around them, primarily, their therapist. I find it hard to recall another work where the system members each get such focus of pagetime, and the opportunity to talk about themselves, their experience, and their identity as individuals.
Thirdly, this is a book that shows that multiple systems - even those with unresolved trauma and amnesia about their multiple state - can be high achievers, excelling in their chosen careers. In fact, this system excelled to such a degree BECAUSE of their multiplicity, because different system members handled different aspects of their work, knowledge base, and goals. They struggled with burnout and addiction, yes, but so do many high achievers. They sought treatment because of these things, and in doing so, revealed their multiplicity and were able to formulate a healthier way of being. And they didn't do this in their youth - the body was in its fifties before this happened. They were dysfunctional but successful, the epitome of a covert system.
And finally, this is a book where the integrations and inner world changes are something that happens relatively organically and naturally. It's understated, not melodramatic, and it results in the stable triumvirate that presents to the world at the close of the work.
Small quibbles - like I said at the beginning, it is slow to start and I don't share Bob's interest in his career. I also think at times that the system's therapist doesn't understand the difference between integration, communication, and co consciousness, evidenced most clearly when he tells them that he thinks they've had a seven-way fusion rather than three, simply because he thinks it 'makes sense' and hasn't seen the other system members lately. Also, later in the book, an angry system member thought previously to have integrated temporarily emerges to raise hell, making me think that perhaps some of the system aren't integrated, but went deeper in-world or dormant after sharing their memories with the others. But, like I said, these are small things, and do not devalue the importance of this work, or the significance of the system's decision to tell their story in this measured, matter-of-fact, public way when they had a career that was significantly impacted by the rumours of their multiplicity. They could have buried their plurality; instead, they shared it, openly, and that takes a particular strength of courage.
Firstly, this is not a book about trauma. Yes, trauma is mentioned, as is Bob's struggle with addiction, but they are mentioned in passing and are not the focus of this work.
Secondly, what IS the focus of this work are the system members, their inner world, their dynamics with each other and with those around them, primarily, their therapist. I find it hard to recall another work where the system members each get such focus of pagetime, and the opportunity to talk about themselves, their experience, and their identity as individuals.
Thirdly, this is a book that shows that multiple systems - even those with unresolved trauma and amnesia about their multiple state - can be high achievers, excelling in their chosen careers. In fact, this system excelled to such a degree BECAUSE of their multiplicity, because different system members handled different aspects of their work, knowledge base, and goals. They struggled with burnout and addiction, yes, but so do many high achievers. They sought treatment because of these things, and in doing so, revealed their multiplicity and were able to formulate a healthier way of being. And they didn't do this in their youth - the body was in its fifties before this happened. They were dysfunctional but successful, the epitome of a covert system.
And finally, this is a book where the integrations and inner world changes are something that happens relatively organically and naturally. It's understated, not melodramatic, and it results in the stable triumvirate that presents to the world at the close of the work.
Small quibbles - like I said at the beginning, it is slow to start and I don't share Bob's interest in his career. I also think at times that the system's therapist doesn't understand the difference between integration, communication, and co consciousness, evidenced most clearly when he tells them that he thinks they've had a seven-way fusion rather than three, simply because he thinks it 'makes sense' and hasn't seen the other system members lately. Also, later in the book, an angry system member thought previously to have integrated temporarily emerges to raise hell, making me think that perhaps some of the system aren't integrated, but went deeper in-world or dormant after sharing their memories with the others. But, like I said, these are small things, and do not devalue the importance of this work, or the significance of the system's decision to tell their story in this measured, matter-of-fact, public way when they had a career that was significantly impacted by the rumours of their multiplicity. They could have buried their plurality; instead, they shared it, openly, and that takes a particular strength of courage.
August 29, 2023
The author’s memoir about his history of Multiple Personality Disorder, now called Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). This condition is related to post-traumatic stress that can appear after severe early childhood abuse. This book tells how he became aware of his condition, which he did not realize until 1990, upon diagnosis by his therapist, whom he had sought out for help with substance abuse. He discusses his therapy and how he was able to merge several of his eleven identities. The book is told as if each identity is speaking. According to the author, this method more closely mimics his experience of DID. I felt this was a good way to inspire compassion and help the reader get a sense for what it is like to live with this disorder. It also covers the author’s leadership of the Asia Society, a solo sailing voyage to Newfoundland, and his background in academia. Recommended to those interested in psychology and how the brain works.
December 28, 2012
My Amazon review: Books on multiple personality disorder are not, as a rule, very well written and A Fractured Mind is no exception to this. It is unfortunate, however, that where those other books made up for literary lapses by being incredibly emotional, open, and intriguing, A Fractured Mind falls more than short.
Robert Oxnam's story is, indeed, a sad one. I do not wish to blame the victim - it is clear Mr. Oxnam has gone through quite a bit in his life that nobody should have to deal with. Unfortunately, it does not make him the least bit likable, nor does it, apparently, make a good book.
Mr. Oxnam spends most of the book detailing sessions with his therapist that he does not clearly remember and giving the vaugest of outlines about what was going on in his life, only going into detail when he can drop a well-known name or event.
This flaw of name-dropping (one he readily owns up to but makes no effort to curb) combined with his reluctance to detail or discuss abuse that may have triggered his MPD, or to discuss his emotional recovery invoving his traumas and abuse takes so much away from the book that you can't help but wonder (as a few other reviewers have) if, perhaps, he wasn't misdiagnosed. Maybe what we really have here is not a high-functioning MPD but an overly-smart narcissistic, sociopathic (is that an oxymoron?) alcoholic who found a chance to redeem previously failed noveling efforts by giving his separate personalities (ones we all have, really) different "names" who he could then use to blame and/or prasie for various events in his life and write a book about.
His reluctance to name abusers, or discuss family details, relationship details, etc. is admirable, but it makes the whole point of writing a book somewhat useless. Ultimately, Mr. Oxnam is the only one who knows what he is writing about and his withholdings make the reader unable to identify with just about anything he tries to explain.
To add insult to injury, Mr. Oxnam's therapist offers a 25 page epilogue on "Understanding DID Therapy" that would be better placed as a preface but, ultimately, offers no additional insight or understanding. (Although it is eminently more readable to Mr. Oxnam's section.)
Overall, I think this was probably a book Mr. Oxnam needed to write. I am sure it was theraputic to get it all down on paper. It is not, however, a book Hyperion should have found worth publishing. I am sure Will Schwalbe and Leslie Wells of "the Hyperion family" will beware of such self-indulgent name-droppers in the future.
Robert Oxnam's story is, indeed, a sad one. I do not wish to blame the victim - it is clear Mr. Oxnam has gone through quite a bit in his life that nobody should have to deal with. Unfortunately, it does not make him the least bit likable, nor does it, apparently, make a good book.
Mr. Oxnam spends most of the book detailing sessions with his therapist that he does not clearly remember and giving the vaugest of outlines about what was going on in his life, only going into detail when he can drop a well-known name or event.
This flaw of name-dropping (one he readily owns up to but makes no effort to curb) combined with his reluctance to detail or discuss abuse that may have triggered his MPD, or to discuss his emotional recovery invoving his traumas and abuse takes so much away from the book that you can't help but wonder (as a few other reviewers have) if, perhaps, he wasn't misdiagnosed. Maybe what we really have here is not a high-functioning MPD but an overly-smart narcissistic, sociopathic (is that an oxymoron?) alcoholic who found a chance to redeem previously failed noveling efforts by giving his separate personalities (ones we all have, really) different "names" who he could then use to blame and/or prasie for various events in his life and write a book about.
His reluctance to name abusers, or discuss family details, relationship details, etc. is admirable, but it makes the whole point of writing a book somewhat useless. Ultimately, Mr. Oxnam is the only one who knows what he is writing about and his withholdings make the reader unable to identify with just about anything he tries to explain.
To add insult to injury, Mr. Oxnam's therapist offers a 25 page epilogue on "Understanding DID Therapy" that would be better placed as a preface but, ultimately, offers no additional insight or understanding. (Although it is eminently more readable to Mr. Oxnam's section.)
Overall, I think this was probably a book Mr. Oxnam needed to write. I am sure it was theraputic to get it all down on paper. It is not, however, a book Hyperion should have found worth publishing. I am sure Will Schwalbe and Leslie Wells of "the Hyperion family" will beware of such self-indulgent name-droppers in the future.
Want to read
May 16, 2024Wow, at first. And yes, I read enough to review. I've read a few similar books, was required to read some many years ago for a course I took - and a degree in Biology. So I am fascinated and interested in the subject, and realize this is a real issue/syndrome/subject, etc. However...
I also read a lot of mystery, thrillers and true crime, etc, and know where the plot can break down, where evidence falls flat or feels manufactured, and boy, you have to make it real - you can't just jump over things because your readers will go - but on page 20 you said she was left-handed...
So here goes: the writer indicates that he had several personalities in him, that working with a therapist they are slowly 'revealed.' Also, that some of them 'appear' only once. And then, we're shown or given a lengthy 'reveal' in which a personality goes on and on in dialogue with the therapist. Not only that, we're given information about how that personality feels - their interior life, if you will. But HOW does the writer - or main personality - know all this? About another personality he didn't 'know' existed? How does he (the main or central personality) think back - to write this book - and describe this 'unknown personality' in such detail, if in fact, he wasn't 'there' to know that it existed?
The first time this happened I am, okay, the author must have gotten in touch with that personality later and asked him/her/them to write that section of the book? (As in, okay, Joe or whoever, tell me what you said and did and felt when you 'revealed' yourself 'cuz I wasn't there.)
Or, he got help from the therapist - who does know what this 'new' or formerly hidden personality said and did. But how does the therapist know all the emotional details the new personality keeps to himself - the new personality's thoughts?
I got lost in this detail and ran it through my head a dozen times. So maybe the main personality was finally able to contact all his various personalities? And ask them 'what did you say or do or how did you feel' when you finally spoke up...
Or did the main personality ask them to actually write the sections where they came out, or showed themselves...
So a DNF because obviously I missed a giant plot point somewhere.
I also read a lot of mystery, thrillers and true crime, etc, and know where the plot can break down, where evidence falls flat or feels manufactured, and boy, you have to make it real - you can't just jump over things because your readers will go - but on page 20 you said she was left-handed...
So here goes: the writer indicates that he had several personalities in him, that working with a therapist they are slowly 'revealed.' Also, that some of them 'appear' only once. And then, we're shown or given a lengthy 'reveal' in which a personality goes on and on in dialogue with the therapist. Not only that, we're given information about how that personality feels - their interior life, if you will. But HOW does the writer - or main personality - know all this? About another personality he didn't 'know' existed? How does he (the main or central personality) think back - to write this book - and describe this 'unknown personality' in such detail, if in fact, he wasn't 'there' to know that it existed?
The first time this happened I am, okay, the author must have gotten in touch with that personality later and asked him/her/them to write that section of the book? (As in, okay, Joe or whoever, tell me what you said and did and felt when you 'revealed' yourself 'cuz I wasn't there.)
Or, he got help from the therapist - who does know what this 'new' or formerly hidden personality said and did. But how does the therapist know all the emotional details the new personality keeps to himself - the new personality's thoughts?
I got lost in this detail and ran it through my head a dozen times. So maybe the main personality was finally able to contact all his various personalities? And ask them 'what did you say or do or how did you feel' when you finally spoke up...
Or did the main personality ask them to actually write the sections where they came out, or showed themselves...
So a DNF because obviously I missed a giant plot point somewhere.
August 21, 2021
This book was helpful in understanding internal systems present in DID, how alters/personalities function and the process of integration. For reviewers complaining about lack of details of the author's abuse - why? I found this book to be extremely sensitive to survivors of trauma, minimizing upsetting content and the possibility of triggers. Rather than pandering to audiences with shock-value details and graphic descriptions of child abuse (do you really want to read that? I hope not) the author focuses on the discovery of his disorder, the internal experience of DID, and the recovery process. If you are looking to be titilated or for a salacious read - gross - go somewhere else. If you are genuinely interested in structural dissociation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, and trauma recovery, this is a decent read.
June 27, 2014
I read most of this book yesterday while soaking in my warm-water pool...(or/and lying in the sun).
Being relaxed allowed for mental and physical harmony --all of which was necessary --for taking in the depths of this story.
This is a valuable book worth reading. 'This' author happens to be a highly educated man --(Yale University in Asian studies). Not all people with multiple personality disorder (MPD),are as highly functional in the world --(academic world, business, financial, travel, etc.) as Robert B. Oxnam ---
Making this 'disorder' and 'this story' MIND-BLOWING ---(so-to-speak).
Add 'NOT' even knowing you 'have' this disorder until LATE into your adult life (career, marriage, children, etc.), and the courage to seek intensive treatment -- is simply amazing.
A few basic reasons to read this book: (and keynotes)
1) Its fascinating: a complete page turning fast read: --you'll learn things about yourself, gain insight into this disorder and how & why this 'almost-hard-to-believe' disorder has been underestimated --and that we (as one) --are deeply affected by destructive criticism, and abuse of any kind. Abuse is perhaps the least acknowledge illness.
2) This book demonstrates a pretty good process of 'healing' the pass ---"Putting the Pieces back together again" ---Humpty Dumpty.
3) Is a person (was this author) dangerous to others? --- Most --he did damage to himself --self hatred -guilt -and self -doubt -- manifesting in bulimia --drinking -emotional damage to those closest to him....but 'no' he was 'not' a dangerous man.
4)Each of the authors different personalities and how they interact is skillful in itself.
5) The doctor --Dr. Smith --estimates 30 thousand Americans suffer from MPD.
6) Trauma survivors who are 'not' able to dissociate often sustain greater damage than those who are able to split. The harm to self-multiples often have parts that are entirely spared the effects of trauma. There may be joyful and innocent children existing side by side.
I highly recommend this book to everyone!
Being relaxed allowed for mental and physical harmony --all of which was necessary --for taking in the depths of this story.
This is a valuable book worth reading. 'This' author happens to be a highly educated man --(Yale University in Asian studies). Not all people with multiple personality disorder (MPD),are as highly functional in the world --(academic world, business, financial, travel, etc.) as Robert B. Oxnam ---
Making this 'disorder' and 'this story' MIND-BLOWING ---(so-to-speak).
Add 'NOT' even knowing you 'have' this disorder until LATE into your adult life (career, marriage, children, etc.), and the courage to seek intensive treatment -- is simply amazing.
A few basic reasons to read this book: (and keynotes)
1) Its fascinating: a complete page turning fast read: --you'll learn things about yourself, gain insight into this disorder and how & why this 'almost-hard-to-believe' disorder has been underestimated --and that we (as one) --are deeply affected by destructive criticism, and abuse of any kind. Abuse is perhaps the least acknowledge illness.
2) This book demonstrates a pretty good process of 'healing' the pass ---"Putting the Pieces back together again" ---Humpty Dumpty.
3) Is a person (was this author) dangerous to others? --- Most --he did damage to himself --self hatred -guilt -and self -doubt -- manifesting in bulimia --drinking -emotional damage to those closest to him....but 'no' he was 'not' a dangerous man.
4)Each of the authors different personalities and how they interact is skillful in itself.
5) The doctor --Dr. Smith --estimates 30 thousand Americans suffer from MPD.
6) Trauma survivors who are 'not' able to dissociate often sustain greater damage than those who are able to split. The harm to self-multiples often have parts that are entirely spared the effects of trauma. There may be joyful and innocent children existing side by side.
I highly recommend this book to everyone!
February 27, 2021
It's incredible, and also scary, what the human brain is capable of. While reading, sometimes I felt I was watching the exorcist, but in fact this happens and there are people in the world that struggle every day with MPD. This is a true story of someone that suffered from such a traumatic event in his life that his brain felt the need to split into multiple personalities to cope with the pain. I got so emotional when Dr. Smith discovered what was the trigger for the MPD...
The last chapter I felt was a little more dull, but it gave me the sense the ones that suffer from MPD are never cured, they just have to learn how to deal with it on a daily basis.
The last chapter I felt was a little more dull, but it gave me the sense the ones that suffer from MPD are never cured, they just have to learn how to deal with it on a daily basis.
September 6, 2019
"Not as your psychological biography but rather as the autobiographies of your MPD personalities."
Halfway through I really really liked this book and out of curiosity browsed through some of the Goodreads reviews and what do I see. Such hateful commentary! I was really surprised.
This is OXNAM's book. He's entitled to tell his story as he pleases. Name-dropping comments made me laugh. Come off it! He himself said that his ambitions to succeed were strongly linked to his disorder. Have you people no heart?
Everyone is entitled to their opinion at the end of the day. However, no one gets to claim misdiagnosis and made-up characters especially as a nonprofessional. Especially knowing how DID developes. Shame on you.
I audiobooked this novel and to me it was very stimulating on so many levels. If I'd skipped chapters here and there I think I would have missed important dialogue and nuances and gotten a distorted idea altogether.
Thank you R.B. Oxnam for sharing and all the best.
Halfway through I really really liked this book and out of curiosity browsed through some of the Goodreads reviews and what do I see. Such hateful commentary! I was really surprised.
This is OXNAM's book. He's entitled to tell his story as he pleases. Name-dropping comments made me laugh. Come off it! He himself said that his ambitions to succeed were strongly linked to his disorder. Have you people no heart?
Everyone is entitled to their opinion at the end of the day. However, no one gets to claim misdiagnosis and made-up characters especially as a nonprofessional. Especially knowing how DID developes. Shame on you.
I audiobooked this novel and to me it was very stimulating on so many levels. If I'd skipped chapters here and there I think I would have missed important dialogue and nuances and gotten a distorted idea altogether.
Thank you R.B. Oxnam for sharing and all the best.
July 20, 2018
This book was... Odd.
I really enjoyed reading the therapy sections. It was almost dreamlike, like I was seeing a movie. What made it terrifying was that it was a personal account.
Other times, the book was very slow moving and was offering a lot of information that I don't think pertained to the story.
Regardless, I feel like I have a better understanding of MPD now. I appreciate the author sharing.
I really enjoyed reading the therapy sections. It was almost dreamlike, like I was seeing a movie. What made it terrifying was that it was a personal account.
Other times, the book was very slow moving and was offering a lot of information that I don't think pertained to the story.
Regardless, I feel like I have a better understanding of MPD now. I appreciate the author sharing.
August 7, 2016
A fascinating look at the life of a man diagnosed with multiple personality disorder (aka dissociative identity disorder). The reader is introduced to the man's eleven personalities and made privy to the years he spent working with a psychiatrist to unearth and then integrate his various personalities.
January 9, 2022
I'm finding it hared to describe how I feel about this book. It was definitely a fascinating look into the inner world of someone with DID. (The book usually calls it MPD because there was a change to the verbiage while it was taking place.) The details of the trauma were pretty much glossed over, which is the author's right. There was enough information to make it clear where some of the alters came from.
It was a touch outdated. Other than the MPD thing, it often made it sound like integration is the "cure," which isn't exactly the case. To be fair, the book did end with an epilogue from the therapist, where he goes into more depth about the delicate nature of integration, as well as some unbelievably fascinating insight into DID and trauma treatment in general. At times the book had great depth, other times I had a hard time staying focused on it, interesting as it was. Below I'm going to list the 11 alters and some quotes from the book, so there may be spoilers below. Trigger warnings of all kinds!
"The castle" and "The black castle" = inner world
Alters:
Bob - First host we meet, stays on the outer walkway. A public figure.
Young Bob - Child alter, lives on the outer walkway
Tommy - Abuser of Bobby at the Witch's orders
Robbey - lives in a small study in the castle, the note-taking overachiever.
Robert - Eventual host. Lives in the center of the castle. Struggled to be heard. Teacher.
Lawrence - lives in a clock shop
Bobby - Child alter, trauma holder, locked in the dungeon but has animal friends. Responsible for
destructive behaviors when "let out," but eventually solves some of the system's main problems.
The Witch -> Wanda - Perscutor with the voice of the abusers. Lives in the Black Castle. Becomes
Wanda, who is a benevolent alter
Eyes - Mute, all knowing alter, memory bank
The Librarian - Keeps records of the system, lives in the library, duh
Baby - Core personality, child alter, trauma holder
p.36 - I've made a mess out of success. Now I'll make a success out of this mess.
p.82 - One thing I was finding about MPD therapy is that it inhibited any semblance of peaceful sleep. The control I exerted during the day, keeping everything seemingly normal at all costs, fell apart in the nighttime hours. Logical patterns of thought broke down entirely. My head was filled with babbling sounds, stray ideas, crazy noises. Oddly enough, I found I couldn't sleep until I gave up trying to control anything at all... (.p.88) I play with my animals late at night and early in the morning. No one in the whole Castle can sleep until I sleep. And everyone gets up when I get up. (Bobby)
p.100-101 - "I think a big part of the problem was how you related to your family, especially the role models of your father and grandfather, often underscored by your mother's ambitions for you. You sensed, often accurately, that they wanted you to be the perfect child, the perfect athlete, the perfect student, the perfect professional. And that's just what you sought to do. It brought lots of successes - but also an internal disaster. You made success your number one priority to the exclusion of almost everything else. And you squelched the Bobby inside almost entirely." ...I had done what I did because I hadn't ever considered that there should be another way.
**p. 151 - From an early age, I occasionally felt light like that when I met certain people who had an inner goodness of heart. I have sometimes wondered whether suffering childhood abuse has something to do with it. Perhaps an abused child develops an extrasensory perception, an ability to look beyond nice words and superficial personalities, a capacity to see inner character. It makes sense. In a world of sudden terrors, a child's life may depend on knowing what someone really has in mind. If you see light, it's safe; if there's darkness inside, watch out.
**p.154 - Thus Baby had an impossible task. How do you cope with knowing you are the 'worst boy in the world' when your job is to become the greatest possible success?
**p.156 - In MPD - indeed, in dissociation in general - it's not enough to know you are bad. You've got to keep the abuse happening, even when the original abusers may not be present. You're not alone. Self-abuse is a secret terror in American society. Lots of kids are hurting themselves. ... The hell of MPD is that it justifies the abuse internally.
p.212-213 - (Bobby) I told the Witch about seeing a light inside her. She was angry and made lots of awful noises. But I just stared at her. The light was still there, even brighter. Finally, she turned into Wanda. ... "See her puppy?" I said. "That's Ragamuffin. He's my favorite. I gave him to Wanda. They love each other." I pointed over my shoulder. "My other animals? They're free, too. They're running all over the Meadow. They're so happy."
p.216 - Wanda had a soft smile, but her eyes conveyed a sense of penetrating directness. "Don't worry so much" - that was her message - "just breathe. When you have thoughts, just let them go. Just say, 'Thinking.' Say it to yourself. 'Thinking.' Concentrate on your breathing. Nice, slow, easy."
p.218 - "Bobby, I want this clear. You aren't bad. You're old enough now to know why you used to think you were bad. But it's just not true. Is that clear?"
p.225 - The lesson was clear: playing music well demands an integrated approach in which all components come together - at the same time and on time.
**p.246-247 - Bobby continued: "I think that little children and little animals sometimes are smarter than adults. Know why? They can see good and bad hearts right away. Good hearts give love and food and hugs. Bad hearts give hits and hurts." Bobby said he thought that most people lost this ability as they became older. But he saw a ray of hope: A few adults are stronger inside. They don't give up their good hearts.
p.250 - I realized it was more about saying things with music than getting everything right.
p.255 All that was left was a broken window, a terrible mess in the kitchen, and the silence that follows a catastrophe.
p.257 - Life is tough, but interesting. Death is easy, and possibly boring.
Epilogue: - This section particularly blew my mind.
p.262 - She (another client) taught me that multiples have a special "radar" for looking into the emotions of others, including their therapist. This made perfect sense, as her very life had depended on her ability to read her abusers' emotions.
p. 263 - Multiple personality should not be controversial, nor should it be the subject of sensationalism. It is simply an effective and natural way for a child to cope with inhuman degrees of abuse. Multiple personality is made up of ordinary parts of human experience, rendered extreme by circumstance.
p.263-264 - Multiple personality should not be controversial, nor should it be the subject of sensationalism. It is simply an effective and natural way for a child to cope with inhuman degrees of abuse. Multiple personality is made up of ordinary parts of human experience, rendered extreme by circumstance.
There are different levels of abuse. First, there is the every day kind that we talk about freely. ...Such experiences may harden us and leave scars, but they are an unfortunate part of what one might call "ordinary" life.
Next, there is the level of abuse that appears in the news. ...
Then, there is a degree of abuse that most of us would rather not know about. This is the kind that extends over years, or involves those closest to the victims. Reports are scarce. ... we avoid imagining the hours before their wish to die came true. These are examples of the kind of inhumanity that we conspire to cover up. It is naturally human...
p.264 - Trauma survivors will often remember the moment they dissociated. For example, a child who was being m----ted focused on a spot on the ceiling.
***p.265 - If we think of dissociative amnesia as a kind of circuit breaker for emotional trauma, then we can ask, what makes a particular trauma severe enough to trigger loss of memory? The first and most important factor, in my view, is aloneness, the lack of a safe person with whom to share the event. The need for human connection, especially in times of stress, begins very early in life. Before we are old enough to walk, we make use of empathic connections to soften the impact of frightening and painful events.
***p.274-275 - (Children) begin making use of an emotional connection with mother to soften and manage painful emotions. For example, when a toddler falls, he or she will first make eye contact with the mother. ... This empathic affect regulation continues to be an important part of the ability to cope with adversity.
p.275 A predictable part of the experience of trauma is the internalization of negative attitudes and values. These do not change easily, and even sharing them with an understanding other hardly makes a dent.
***p.276 - At moments when we are feeling vulnerable in our connections with others, we are most susceptible to internalizing attitudes, values, and attachments. In the case of trauma, these vulnerable moments are precisely the ones that occur when we are most at the mercy of the abuser. :(
p.276 - ...at about eighteen months, maturation of the frontal lobes of the cerebral cortex begins to permit essentially permanent internalization of values, attitudes, and attachments.
p.277 - Old values and attitudes are not removed, but layered over with new, healthy ones.
p.278 - In order to cement the positive values and maintain the gains, it is important that life become more satisfying and lead to a healthy stream of positive experiences.
It was a touch outdated. Other than the MPD thing, it often made it sound like integration is the "cure," which isn't exactly the case. To be fair, the book did end with an epilogue from the therapist, where he goes into more depth about the delicate nature of integration, as well as some unbelievably fascinating insight into DID and trauma treatment in general. At times the book had great depth, other times I had a hard time staying focused on it, interesting as it was. Below I'm going to list the 11 alters and some quotes from the book, so there may be spoilers below. Trigger warnings of all kinds!
"The castle" and "The black castle" = inner world
Alters:
Bob - First host we meet, stays on the outer walkway. A public figure.
Young Bob - Child alter, lives on the outer walkway
Tommy - Abuser of Bobby at the Witch's orders
Robbey - lives in a small study in the castle, the note-taking overachiever.
Robert - Eventual host. Lives in the center of the castle. Struggled to be heard. Teacher.
Lawrence - lives in a clock shop
Bobby - Child alter, trauma holder, locked in the dungeon but has animal friends. Responsible for
destructive behaviors when "let out," but eventually solves some of the system's main problems.
The Witch -> Wanda - Perscutor with the voice of the abusers. Lives in the Black Castle. Becomes
Wanda, who is a benevolent alter
Eyes - Mute, all knowing alter, memory bank
The Librarian - Keeps records of the system, lives in the library, duh
Baby - Core personality, child alter, trauma holder
p.36 - I've made a mess out of success. Now I'll make a success out of this mess.
p.82 - One thing I was finding about MPD therapy is that it inhibited any semblance of peaceful sleep. The control I exerted during the day, keeping everything seemingly normal at all costs, fell apart in the nighttime hours. Logical patterns of thought broke down entirely. My head was filled with babbling sounds, stray ideas, crazy noises. Oddly enough, I found I couldn't sleep until I gave up trying to control anything at all... (.p.88) I play with my animals late at night and early in the morning. No one in the whole Castle can sleep until I sleep. And everyone gets up when I get up. (Bobby)
p.100-101 - "I think a big part of the problem was how you related to your family, especially the role models of your father and grandfather, often underscored by your mother's ambitions for you. You sensed, often accurately, that they wanted you to be the perfect child, the perfect athlete, the perfect student, the perfect professional. And that's just what you sought to do. It brought lots of successes - but also an internal disaster. You made success your number one priority to the exclusion of almost everything else. And you squelched the Bobby inside almost entirely." ...I had done what I did because I hadn't ever considered that there should be another way.
**p. 151 - From an early age, I occasionally felt light like that when I met certain people who had an inner goodness of heart. I have sometimes wondered whether suffering childhood abuse has something to do with it. Perhaps an abused child develops an extrasensory perception, an ability to look beyond nice words and superficial personalities, a capacity to see inner character. It makes sense. In a world of sudden terrors, a child's life may depend on knowing what someone really has in mind. If you see light, it's safe; if there's darkness inside, watch out.
**p.154 - Thus Baby had an impossible task. How do you cope with knowing you are the 'worst boy in the world' when your job is to become the greatest possible success?
**p.156 - In MPD - indeed, in dissociation in general - it's not enough to know you are bad. You've got to keep the abuse happening, even when the original abusers may not be present. You're not alone. Self-abuse is a secret terror in American society. Lots of kids are hurting themselves. ... The hell of MPD is that it justifies the abuse internally.
p.212-213 - (Bobby) I told the Witch about seeing a light inside her. She was angry and made lots of awful noises. But I just stared at her. The light was still there, even brighter. Finally, she turned into Wanda. ... "See her puppy?" I said. "That's Ragamuffin. He's my favorite. I gave him to Wanda. They love each other." I pointed over my shoulder. "My other animals? They're free, too. They're running all over the Meadow. They're so happy."
p.216 - Wanda had a soft smile, but her eyes conveyed a sense of penetrating directness. "Don't worry so much" - that was her message - "just breathe. When you have thoughts, just let them go. Just say, 'Thinking.' Say it to yourself. 'Thinking.' Concentrate on your breathing. Nice, slow, easy."
p.218 - "Bobby, I want this clear. You aren't bad. You're old enough now to know why you used to think you were bad. But it's just not true. Is that clear?"
p.225 - The lesson was clear: playing music well demands an integrated approach in which all components come together - at the same time and on time.
**p.246-247 - Bobby continued: "I think that little children and little animals sometimes are smarter than adults. Know why? They can see good and bad hearts right away. Good hearts give love and food and hugs. Bad hearts give hits and hurts." Bobby said he thought that most people lost this ability as they became older. But he saw a ray of hope: A few adults are stronger inside. They don't give up their good hearts.
p.250 - I realized it was more about saying things with music than getting everything right.
p.255 All that was left was a broken window, a terrible mess in the kitchen, and the silence that follows a catastrophe.
p.257 - Life is tough, but interesting. Death is easy, and possibly boring.
Epilogue: - This section particularly blew my mind.
p.262 - She (another client) taught me that multiples have a special "radar" for looking into the emotions of others, including their therapist. This made perfect sense, as her very life had depended on her ability to read her abusers' emotions.
p. 263 - Multiple personality should not be controversial, nor should it be the subject of sensationalism. It is simply an effective and natural way for a child to cope with inhuman degrees of abuse. Multiple personality is made up of ordinary parts of human experience, rendered extreme by circumstance.
p.263-264 - Multiple personality should not be controversial, nor should it be the subject of sensationalism. It is simply an effective and natural way for a child to cope with inhuman degrees of abuse. Multiple personality is made up of ordinary parts of human experience, rendered extreme by circumstance.
There are different levels of abuse. First, there is the every day kind that we talk about freely. ...Such experiences may harden us and leave scars, but they are an unfortunate part of what one might call "ordinary" life.
Next, there is the level of abuse that appears in the news. ...
Then, there is a degree of abuse that most of us would rather not know about. This is the kind that extends over years, or involves those closest to the victims. Reports are scarce. ... we avoid imagining the hours before their wish to die came true. These are examples of the kind of inhumanity that we conspire to cover up. It is naturally human...
p.264 - Trauma survivors will often remember the moment they dissociated. For example, a child who was being m----ted focused on a spot on the ceiling.
***p.265 - If we think of dissociative amnesia as a kind of circuit breaker for emotional trauma, then we can ask, what makes a particular trauma severe enough to trigger loss of memory? The first and most important factor, in my view, is aloneness, the lack of a safe person with whom to share the event. The need for human connection, especially in times of stress, begins very early in life. Before we are old enough to walk, we make use of empathic connections to soften the impact of frightening and painful events.
***p.274-275 - (Children) begin making use of an emotional connection with mother to soften and manage painful emotions. For example, when a toddler falls, he or she will first make eye contact with the mother. ... This empathic affect regulation continues to be an important part of the ability to cope with adversity.
p.275 A predictable part of the experience of trauma is the internalization of negative attitudes and values. These do not change easily, and even sharing them with an understanding other hardly makes a dent.
***p.276 - At moments when we are feeling vulnerable in our connections with others, we are most susceptible to internalizing attitudes, values, and attachments. In the case of trauma, these vulnerable moments are precisely the ones that occur when we are most at the mercy of the abuser. :(
p.276 - ...at about eighteen months, maturation of the frontal lobes of the cerebral cortex begins to permit essentially permanent internalization of values, attitudes, and attachments.
p.277 - Old values and attitudes are not removed, but layered over with new, healthy ones.
p.278 - In order to cement the positive values and maintain the gains, it is important that life become more satisfying and lead to a healthy stream of positive experiences.
January 22, 2023
I stumbled over the account of a DID system on instagram a while ago and followed them, as they seek to educate and lessen the stigma about the dissociative identity disorder (formerly known as multiple personality disorder or MPD, as it is mentioned throughout this book). I grew both curious and extremely fascinated - also by how little I know about the condition, and how negative media portrayal tends to be - ya know, one of the personalities is always a murderer and the likes. So I asked a friend who works in mental health for some book recommendations - both clinical approaches and personal accounts of multiples.
This book was one of them, and I am glad he recommended it.
It is, as the author puts it, a sort of autobiography of the personalities making up the system, a rather high profile case due to the public position held by Robert B. Oxnam - though who exactly Robert B. Oxnam is has changed over time.
Starting in the '80s with Bob, a highly successful Asia expert who developed a drinking problem and often flew into fits of rage, the book details how therapy sessions led to the diagnosis of his MPD (sticking with the name in the book), the discovery of the alters, and finally breaking down the memory barriers to unearth the terrible childhood trauma that led to the personality split. Almost all of the alters have their say in the book as we follow along, witnessing the moment the author becomes aware of them, navigates the complex relationship between them and gains an understanding of their inner world.
I've seen people complain about "name dropping" - which is a bit hilarious. As said, this was a high profile case, a person who rubbed elbows with the rich and powerful on a regular basis - presidents, state secretaries, tv personalities, financiers, CEOs, media moguls. Of-friggin-course names will drop like ripe apples from trees. The other issue many have taken with the book is the lack of insistence about the trauma. There is a chapter where the youngest alter speaks of the abuse endured when they were between two and four years of age. It tells you all you need to know about things that should never happen to anyone, let alone children. Am not sure what sordid details people were after - it's exactly enough to know what has been going on and understand the amount of physical and emotional hurt that brought on the condition. It takes tremendous courage for anyone suffering from a mental health issue to speak about it. It takes even more courage for someone who has been the victim of childhood abuse - physical, sexual, and psychological - to come out and talk about it. The stigma, the lack of belief, the downplaying, the ridicule. The denying that DID is real. This person told their story in spite of all that.
I liked the format and following along the emergence and evolution of the different alters. Discovering the shape their inner world took, that of a castle, (it is my understanding that every system has an inner world, and for every one, it is different) was a fascinating journey and I don't take such intimate knowledge for granted. In many ways, it was eye-opening.
My beef is with some stances and termini in the book. It bears repeating that therapy took place in the early nineties, where there was precious little literature and experience available and I have told myself this throughout listening to the book.
As a multiple put it, the multiple personalities are not the hard thing to deal with, not even the amnesia is. PTSD and all the effects of trauma are the hard part. So I think that while the author and his therapist finds "multiple personality disorder" to be more descriptive of the condition, I think "dissociative identity disorder" places the emphasis on the dissociation which is a result of trauma. DID *ONLY* ever happens as a result of trauma, so there's always a perpetrator and therefore a culprit. Placing the emphasis on the results and not the root is like letting some really despicable creatures get off the hook.
The other thing, was that the therapist's goal seemed to be complete integration - fusing the alters until only one personality remained. Again, I think the focus and approach has changed in the intervening decades. The discourse seems to revolve more around healing - coping with trauma, dealing with PTSD, bringing the alters to light and ensure communication within the system, and less about fusion - which some systems cannot and some do not want to achieve. It sounds like a more sensible approach to me. At the time the book ended, the eleven alters known to the world as Robert B. Oxnam had integrated into three - Robert (who fronted most of the time), Bobby, and Wanda, who were more often than not co-aware and not keen on fusing further. It's been quite some time since publication, I'd be curious how the system looks nowadays.
All in all, I'd recommend this to someone interested in the subject - both as a personal insight into DID, and as a sort of testimonial of the times - Robert B. Oxnam occupied an interesting function in interesting times.
This book was one of them, and I am glad he recommended it.
It is, as the author puts it, a sort of autobiography of the personalities making up the system, a rather high profile case due to the public position held by Robert B. Oxnam - though who exactly Robert B. Oxnam is has changed over time.
Starting in the '80s with Bob, a highly successful Asia expert who developed a drinking problem and often flew into fits of rage, the book details how therapy sessions led to the diagnosis of his MPD (sticking with the name in the book), the discovery of the alters, and finally breaking down the memory barriers to unearth the terrible childhood trauma that led to the personality split. Almost all of the alters have their say in the book as we follow along, witnessing the moment the author becomes aware of them, navigates the complex relationship between them and gains an understanding of their inner world.
I've seen people complain about "name dropping" - which is a bit hilarious. As said, this was a high profile case, a person who rubbed elbows with the rich and powerful on a regular basis - presidents, state secretaries, tv personalities, financiers, CEOs, media moguls. Of-friggin-course names will drop like ripe apples from trees. The other issue many have taken with the book is the lack of insistence about the trauma. There is a chapter where the youngest alter speaks of the abuse endured when they were between two and four years of age. It tells you all you need to know about things that should never happen to anyone, let alone children. Am not sure what sordid details people were after - it's exactly enough to know what has been going on and understand the amount of physical and emotional hurt that brought on the condition. It takes tremendous courage for anyone suffering from a mental health issue to speak about it. It takes even more courage for someone who has been the victim of childhood abuse - physical, sexual, and psychological - to come out and talk about it. The stigma, the lack of belief, the downplaying, the ridicule. The denying that DID is real. This person told their story in spite of all that.
I liked the format and following along the emergence and evolution of the different alters. Discovering the shape their inner world took, that of a castle, (it is my understanding that every system has an inner world, and for every one, it is different) was a fascinating journey and I don't take such intimate knowledge for granted. In many ways, it was eye-opening.
My beef is with some stances and termini in the book. It bears repeating that therapy took place in the early nineties, where there was precious little literature and experience available and I have told myself this throughout listening to the book.
As a multiple put it, the multiple personalities are not the hard thing to deal with, not even the amnesia is. PTSD and all the effects of trauma are the hard part. So I think that while the author and his therapist finds "multiple personality disorder" to be more descriptive of the condition, I think "dissociative identity disorder" places the emphasis on the dissociation which is a result of trauma. DID *ONLY* ever happens as a result of trauma, so there's always a perpetrator and therefore a culprit. Placing the emphasis on the results and not the root is like letting some really despicable creatures get off the hook.
The other thing, was that the therapist's goal seemed to be complete integration - fusing the alters until only one personality remained. Again, I think the focus and approach has changed in the intervening decades. The discourse seems to revolve more around healing - coping with trauma, dealing with PTSD, bringing the alters to light and ensure communication within the system, and less about fusion - which some systems cannot and some do not want to achieve. It sounds like a more sensible approach to me. At the time the book ended, the eleven alters known to the world as Robert B. Oxnam had integrated into three - Robert (who fronted most of the time), Bobby, and Wanda, who were more often than not co-aware and not keen on fusing further. It's been quite some time since publication, I'd be curious how the system looks nowadays.
All in all, I'd recommend this to someone interested in the subject - both as a personal insight into DID, and as a sort of testimonial of the times - Robert B. Oxnam occupied an interesting function in interesting times.
March 25, 2025
From someone with DID, I want sincerely thank the author for writing A Fractured Mind. We need more honest accounts like it.
I am so grateful I discovered this book hidden away in the library shelves when I was suffering and looking for answers. I've never seen any text describe a firsthand account of alter relationships and the inner experience of actually having DID like this, much less choosing to keep three alters at the end. I am someone who has mostly healed from the disorder and also ended up with three alters. Oxnam's experience with fusion, self-forgiveness, and moving on from trauma was invaluable for me feeling less alone. I read the entire thing in one sitting because I was hooked on it.
Even though the author indulges in sharing things like his travel plans and illustrious career, I wasn't bothered. I was happy to see the windows into his life as a semi-functional person with DID.
For any people without DID, I recommend this book as a solid peek into what it feels like.
I am so grateful I discovered this book hidden away in the library shelves when I was suffering and looking for answers. I've never seen any text describe a firsthand account of alter relationships and the inner experience of actually having DID like this, much less choosing to keep three alters at the end. I am someone who has mostly healed from the disorder and also ended up with three alters. Oxnam's experience with fusion, self-forgiveness, and moving on from trauma was invaluable for me feeling less alone. I read the entire thing in one sitting because I was hooked on it.
Even though the author indulges in sharing things like his travel plans and illustrious career, I wasn't bothered. I was happy to see the windows into his life as a semi-functional person with DID.
For any people without DID, I recommend this book as a solid peek into what it feels like.
August 26, 2016
I couldn't enjoy this book. Its a boring story told by mostly unsympathetic characters. When a person is this ill its hard to NOT be sympathetic, but somehow he manages. I'm not surprised he had 11 individual personalities- because that's how many people it should take to carry around the weight of his extraordinary ego.
February 12, 2019
I’ve read several books about people with MPD because I find it fascinating. This is a quick read, but I found it rather shallow. This author didn’t delve into his past much (at least in his book). I understand that he is trying to protect his own privacy and the privacy of his family, but because of that, this book doesn’t have the ability to invoke strong feelings in this reader.
January 6, 2025
Just fantastic. A thrilling honest journey through life with multiple personalities and integration. The perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Anyone with trauma or an interest in advanced psychology should read.
February 18, 2009
Interesting insider view of multiple personalities. This book differs from others in the genre by focusing on the internal life of the personalities rather than on the abuse that caused the split.
February 19, 2021
As a therapist, this book spoke to me in ways that I couldn’t possibly have expected. It is a great resource for understanding thought patterns of people who have experienced extreme trauma, and very applicable as I work with several people with DID. Shame on those who wrote nasty, mean-spirited reviews. You can dislike the book and recognize that this author was sharing a piece of his soul. Thank you, Robert, for being brave enough and vulnerable enough to share your story. Not many people can do it and I greatly appreciate the insight as a person and for my career.
November 25, 2022
I like how it was arranged and it would be difficult to decide how to do it. This is a book that makes me understand what DID or multiple personalities really is like. It also gives a good presentation or explanation at the end of what actually happens in this rare disorder and why it comes about. It even gave me some insight into what Freud was really trying to say. Anytime a book can educate me this much, it is a real winner.
Read
April 29, 2024Real life Split
June 26, 2025
informativ und persönlich zugleich
April 13, 2022
I am completely appalled and frankly disappointed by the REVIEWERS of this book. Not only are you making claims on the diagnosis and entire life of another individual and belittling their experience, but you're exactly the reason why people with DID are so scared of being open about their disorder. If you find this book he wrote in-part to be his autobiography of all things narcissistic then I'm really not sure what to tell you. I am just entirely disgusted with some of the negative reviews on this book because I myself struggle with DID and can't believe there are still such awful people in the world who would say things like the author was faking because he wouldn't talk in-depth about an entirely awful traumatic experience that happened to him. So awful that it completely splintered apart his mind as a child.
If you were one of the people that wrote such a terrible thing about this book then I truly hope you feel guilty and ashamed for judging another human being like that. He didn't write a book about his life and the hardships he faced for people to ridicule him like that, and nobody ever should have to face that fear after sharing such a big mental health struggle.
But aside from this disgusting review section, this book was AMAZING. As previously mentioned, I have and have been struggling with knowing I have DID for the past 7 years now and this book provides a really unique look into DID, especially considering the author comes from a time when not a lot was known about DID or how to treat it. I would say for those looking for a very interesting autobiography to read this is definitely a brilliant book to read. It is not a fact sheet about DID or a textbook. But rather a delve into one man's life and how the pieces of that man come together to tell a story of recovery and the hardships he had to face to combat trauma.
If you were one of the people that wrote such a terrible thing about this book then I truly hope you feel guilty and ashamed for judging another human being like that. He didn't write a book about his life and the hardships he faced for people to ridicule him like that, and nobody ever should have to face that fear after sharing such a big mental health struggle.
But aside from this disgusting review section, this book was AMAZING. As previously mentioned, I have and have been struggling with knowing I have DID for the past 7 years now and this book provides a really unique look into DID, especially considering the author comes from a time when not a lot was known about DID or how to treat it. I would say for those looking for a very interesting autobiography to read this is definitely a brilliant book to read. It is not a fact sheet about DID or a textbook. But rather a delve into one man's life and how the pieces of that man come together to tell a story of recovery and the hardships he had to face to combat trauma.
March 26, 2019
An interesting read for #ReadHarder prompt 13 - written by someone who identifies as neurodiverse.
I thought this a very interesting book. I liked the fact that is was written by the different egos within the author rather than the dominant person telling everyone's story. It is, essentially, a multiple POV story with a single body encasing all the points of view.
I found the discovery and description of the castle within him where everyone lives fascinating. As a single personality I do wonder how and where these egos live. The inner workings of Oxnam's mind are fascinating. My heart broke for Baby and for the adult egos who finally heard him and understood why they were they way they were.
I let this book slide through my rule of no cishet white men because, while Oxnam may present as such, he has a multitude of egos and one of the three surviving ones is a woman. I found this integration of egos an interesting philosophical question, and one Oxnam grapples with. Because one ego loves a person do the other have to too? Are they not allowed relationships because the strongest ego has pledged fidelity to someone; someone the others may not even like or fancy? Who decides the sexual orientation of the body they all live in?
The collection of egos that is Oxnam deals with this, together with a very understanding wife.
I continue to ponder this life and the lives other people with similar neurodiversity live.
Yep - an interesting book that still has me thinking days later.
I thought this a very interesting book. I liked the fact that is was written by the different egos within the author rather than the dominant person telling everyone's story. It is, essentially, a multiple POV story with a single body encasing all the points of view.
I found the discovery and description of the castle within him where everyone lives fascinating. As a single personality I do wonder how and where these egos live. The inner workings of Oxnam's mind are fascinating. My heart broke for Baby and for the adult egos who finally heard him and understood why they were they way they were.
I let this book slide through my rule of no cishet white men because, while Oxnam may present as such, he has a multitude of egos and one of the three surviving ones is a woman. I found this integration of egos an interesting philosophical question, and one Oxnam grapples with. Because one ego loves a person do the other have to too? Are they not allowed relationships because the strongest ego has pledged fidelity to someone; someone the others may not even like or fancy? Who decides the sexual orientation of the body they all live in?
The collection of egos that is Oxnam deals with this, together with a very understanding wife.
I continue to ponder this life and the lives other people with similar neurodiversity live.
Yep - an interesting book that still has me thinking days later.
October 31, 2011
A friend of mine who is a nurse recommended this to me. At first I wasn't too sure, but at a bookstore, I found it and thumbed through it which did peaked my interest. So, I bought it. After a few months on my bookshelf, I decided to give it a try.
Robert Oxman is a successful person who is an expert on Asia. What made him seek a psychiatrist was his problem with alcohol, (he's also bulimic). During one session Tommy made an appearance.
This memoir is about how Robert went from 11 distinguished personalities down to three: Robert, Bobby, and Wanda.
This is a fascinating book. I learned a lot about Dissociative Identity Disorder, which is Multiple Personality Disorder's proper medical term. I'm glad that my friend recommended this book to me.
Robert Oxman is a successful person who is an expert on Asia. What made him seek a psychiatrist was his problem with alcohol, (he's also bulimic). During one session Tommy made an appearance.
This memoir is about how Robert went from 11 distinguished personalities down to three: Robert, Bobby, and Wanda.
This is a fascinating book. I learned a lot about Dissociative Identity Disorder, which is Multiple Personality Disorder's proper medical term. I'm glad that my friend recommended this book to me.
September 19, 2014
This is by no means the best book ever written by an author who has/does suffer from a mental illness, but it's still worth reading in my opinion.
It may have been easier for me to read than others, as I was fortunate enough to meet the author years ago at a lecture put together by a professor I TA'd for in college, and his writing style made more sense having met him and having heard his story first hand.
I consider this book to be a very interesting look at the life of someone with DID, and if you have any interest in getting an inside look at the disorder, I'm sure you'll enjoy this read.
(Fun fact: He signed my book 'Robert et al.' to incorporate all 3 personalities.)
It may have been easier for me to read than others, as I was fortunate enough to meet the author years ago at a lecture put together by a professor I TA'd for in college, and his writing style made more sense having met him and having heard his story first hand.
I consider this book to be a very interesting look at the life of someone with DID, and if you have any interest in getting an inside look at the disorder, I'm sure you'll enjoy this read.
(Fun fact: He signed my book 'Robert et al.' to incorporate all 3 personalities.)
February 4, 2016
Mesmerizing! The beginning is a bit slow, but the memoir is of a man who is outwardly very successful and not until he is in his '50s finds out that he is a multiple personality. Thus, the slow beginning before he realizes the black-outs are not just from alcohol. He gets into therapy and the 11 different personalities make themselves known. It is riveting and heartbreaking and told on a linear path so the reader moves through it with the author and his therapist! I am blown away by how the mind can compartmentalize severe trauma in order to save the human who survived it! WOW!
February 22, 2016
I had to read this book in chunks, sometimes excessive, and sometimes small. There is a ton to process here, and the MPD issues are very tough to handle at times. And yet, I am grateful for this author's bravery, especially with his professional relationships, and how well- established he is in is private life. I am also grateful personally for all of the therapy I've done in my own life, and what I've learned as a result. I don't think this is a book for everyone, but I am happy that a very close friend recommended it to me.
May 7, 2020
I thought this book was very interesting. I learned a lot about Multiple Personality Disorder and it really sparked an interest with me. It went into depth about a man who has Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) and it detailed his everyday schedule. it highlighted the hardships of this disease in all aspects of life such as work, relationships, and family. I would recommend this book to anyone who is interested in this kind of disorder and who is interested in the study of the brain. It was a little confusing at times, but overall it was a very good novel.
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