What do you think?
Rate this book
Get the Guy Lib/E: Learn Secrets of the Male Mind to Find the Man You Want and the Love You Deserve
Love is hard. But it doesn't have to be.
Leading relationship expert and rising media personality Matthew Hussey provides what every woman needs to know to find lasting love. Offering invaluable insight into the male psyche, he will change the way you approach men and dating and give you the tools you need to find the man you deserve. Hussey answers every single woman's three most burning questions:
Where do I go to meet good men? Why didn't he call? How do I get him to commit?In Get the Guy, you will learn specific strategies for getting out there and meeting the best single guys. You will also learn why the guy you like has gone cold and the secrets to reigniting a spark with him. And you'll discover why so many guys seem to be afraid of long-term commitment and the three simple steps you can take that will change his mind.
Hussey also reveals why playing hard to get is a lose-lose game. A man doesn't want to endlessly chase a woman who is impossible to attain; he wants to win over a woman who is "high value." You'll find out how to create nonnegotiable standards for the way you want to be treated--and utilize a foolproof method for determining if a man can live up to them.
Leveraging what he learned from coaching thousands of men to find personal and professional success, Hussey will teach you how to meet more men, how to choose one who is worth your time, and finally, how to keep him enthralled forever. His insightfulness, irreverence, and warmth make the journey to love playful and fun, and his advice ensures success in both romance and life.
Leading relationship expert and rising media personality Matthew Hussey provides what every woman needs to know to find lasting love. Offering invaluable insight into the male psyche, he will change the way you approach men and dating and give you the tools you need to find the man you deserve. Hussey answers every single woman's three most burning questions:
Where do I go to meet good men? Why didn't he call? How do I get him to commit?In Get the Guy, you will learn specific strategies for getting out there and meeting the best single guys. You will also learn why the guy you like has gone cold and the secrets to reigniting a spark with him. And you'll discover why so many guys seem to be afraid of long-term commitment and the three simple steps you can take that will change his mind.
Hussey also reveals why playing hard to get is a lose-lose game. A man doesn't want to endlessly chase a woman who is impossible to attain; he wants to win over a woman who is "high value." You'll find out how to create nonnegotiable standards for the way you want to be treated--and utilize a foolproof method for determining if a man can live up to them.
Leveraging what he learned from coaching thousands of men to find personal and professional success, Hussey will teach you how to meet more men, how to choose one who is worth your time, and finally, how to keep him enthralled forever. His insightfulness, irreverence, and warmth make the journey to love playful and fun, and his advice ensures success in both romance and life.
Audio CD
Published July 8, 2014
1331 people are currently reading
5528 people want to read
About the author
Matthew Hussey
9 books1,110 followersMatthew Hussey is a New York Times bestselling author, speaker, and coach specializing in confidence and relational intelligence. His brand-new book,
Love Life: How to Raise Your Standards, Find Your Person, and Live Happily (No Matter What),
will be released on April 23.
Matthew's YouTube channel is number one in the world for love life advice, with over half a billion views. He writes a weekly newsletter and is the host of the podcast, Love Life With Matthew Hussey. He provides monthly coaching to the members of his private community at LoveLifeClub.com.
Over the past fifteen years, his proven approach has inspired millions through authentic, insightful, and practical advice that not only enables them to find love but also feel confident and in control of their own happiness. He lives in Los Angeles.
Matthew's YouTube channel is number one in the world for love life advice, with over half a billion views. He writes a weekly newsletter and is the host of the podcast, Love Life With Matthew Hussey. He provides monthly coaching to the members of his private community at LoveLifeClub.com.
Over the past fifteen years, his proven approach has inspired millions through authentic, insightful, and practical advice that not only enables them to find love but also feel confident and in control of their own happiness. He lives in Los Angeles.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 429 reviews
January 13, 2016
This book's approach reminds me of that old Steve Martin comedy bit, "How you can have one MILLION dollars, and NEVER pay taxes...first, get a million dollars. Now---"
The book is described as providing dating tips that still let you be you, and don't require any gamesmanship to meet and keep a quality man; neither claim turns out to be true. In a nutshell, the book's how-to can be boiled down to this:
1. Get an amazing, irresistible life.
2. Be an amazing, irresistible person.
3. Stop being insecure.
4. Chat and flirt with everything that moves, employing these specific strategies, types of come-ons, text messages and actions (which may totally seem like gamesmanship and manipulation, but trust the author, it's not).
Follow those four simple steps and success is assured. An actual excerpt from the book---I'm not kidding. If you're drinking anything, put the cup down now or your keyboard will be drenched in a few seconds:
"The reason a guy gets hooked on one woman is not because she is just sexy, or just playful, or just certain, or just feminine, or just bursting with integrity, but because she possesses a unique combination of traits: the girl who is warm, has integrity, and can charm his family, then rips his clothes off in the bedroom and is a sexual goddess; the girl who is playful with his friends, can debate politics like a pro, but knows how to enjoy a lazy Sunday watching movies and eating pizza; the girl who is independent, kicks ass out in the world, but is feminine and loving with her man. Women like this cause an alarm to go off inside a guy's head and heart. Keep her, he thinks. This one's amazing!"
...and if she existed as a real person, she wouldn't be reading this book. I could just as easily advise guys seeking dating advice:
"The reason a woman gets hooked on one man is not because he is just sexy, or just playful, or just certain, or just masculine, or just bursting with integrity, but because he possesses a unique combination of traits: the man who is warm, has integrity, and can charm her family, then rips her clothes off in the bedroom and is a sexual god who's willing to invest all the time she needs in foreplay; the man who is respectful with her friends, can fix things around the house and in the garage like a pro, but knows how to enjoy a lazy Sunday at the museum or craft fair; the guy who is independent, kicks ass out in the world, but is gentle and loving with his woman and lavishes attention on her. Men like this cause an alarm to go off inside a woman's head and heart. He's just a character in a romance novel, she thinks. Be more realistic!"
The book is described as providing dating tips that still let you be you, and don't require any gamesmanship to meet and keep a quality man; neither claim turns out to be true. In a nutshell, the book's how-to can be boiled down to this:
1. Get an amazing, irresistible life.
2. Be an amazing, irresistible person.
3. Stop being insecure.
4. Chat and flirt with everything that moves, employing these specific strategies, types of come-ons, text messages and actions (which may totally seem like gamesmanship and manipulation, but trust the author, it's not).
Follow those four simple steps and success is assured. An actual excerpt from the book---I'm not kidding. If you're drinking anything, put the cup down now or your keyboard will be drenched in a few seconds:
"The reason a guy gets hooked on one woman is not because she is just sexy, or just playful, or just certain, or just feminine, or just bursting with integrity, but because she possesses a unique combination of traits: the girl who is warm, has integrity, and can charm his family, then rips his clothes off in the bedroom and is a sexual goddess; the girl who is playful with his friends, can debate politics like a pro, but knows how to enjoy a lazy Sunday watching movies and eating pizza; the girl who is independent, kicks ass out in the world, but is feminine and loving with her man. Women like this cause an alarm to go off inside a guy's head and heart. Keep her, he thinks. This one's amazing!"
...and if she existed as a real person, she wouldn't be reading this book. I could just as easily advise guys seeking dating advice:
"The reason a woman gets hooked on one man is not because he is just sexy, or just playful, or just certain, or just masculine, or just bursting with integrity, but because he possesses a unique combination of traits: the man who is warm, has integrity, and can charm her family, then rips her clothes off in the bedroom and is a sexual god who's willing to invest all the time she needs in foreplay; the man who is respectful with her friends, can fix things around the house and in the garage like a pro, but knows how to enjoy a lazy Sunday at the museum or craft fair; the guy who is independent, kicks ass out in the world, but is gentle and loving with his woman and lavishes attention on her. Men like this cause an alarm to go off inside a woman's head and heart. He's just a character in a romance novel, she thinks. Be more realistic!"
March 3, 2014
Being a male, I read this book out of curiosity and I was surprised how good it was. It deals primarily with inner game and attitude and most of it can be applied to both men and women. Therefore, I believe it is actually too narrowly marketed to female readers. There are some passages that deal with "the inner lives" of men and from a male perspective they resonated with me. I can now better understand why previous relationships of mine did not work out. I very much enjoyed that Matthew does not add fuel to the fire of the battle of the sexes, but instead shows that men are in many ways just as vulnerable as women.
September 6, 2024
[Update: re-reading this review as a (now) demi-sexual/romantic anarchist queer hermit is a trip.]
Eh. Most of the advice in this book was geared towards making you feel like you have to be a Manic Pixie Dream Girl in order to land a guy. There's a lot of unsettling talk about constantly sexually validating your man in order to keep him (or else he'll cheat!). I'd say at least 80% of this book is useless or hurtful. I have a particular problem with Hussey's repeated insinuations that if you are good enough, you can tame that bad boy who doesn't want to commit. Read: it's your fault he's not committing.
I did take a couple good things from here. The idea of being a High Value Woman, while played out to ridiculous lengths by Hussey, is a good concept at its core. I do think it's helpful to realize that being too available, and not letting someone work for you a bit, might be creating a bad dynamic in your relationships. I liked the chunk at the very end about values and standards - I wished the whole book had more material like this because that section was awesome. I added those kernels to my "self-help" arsenal.
I'd say read it if you're trying to improve and learn about yourself and you have the time. Don't read it if you take everything to heart and can't filter out the bullshit, or if you can only fit in a book here and there. For a truly helpful book, read Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - and Keep - Love. That book is based on scientific studies and works to build your esteem rather than make you think you don't have a boyfriend/husband because there's something wrong with you.
Eh. Most of the advice in this book was geared towards making you feel like you have to be a Manic Pixie Dream Girl in order to land a guy. There's a lot of unsettling talk about constantly sexually validating your man in order to keep him (or else he'll cheat!). I'd say at least 80% of this book is useless or hurtful. I have a particular problem with Hussey's repeated insinuations that if you are good enough, you can tame that bad boy who doesn't want to commit. Read: it's your fault he's not committing.
I did take a couple good things from here. The idea of being a High Value Woman, while played out to ridiculous lengths by Hussey, is a good concept at its core. I do think it's helpful to realize that being too available, and not letting someone work for you a bit, might be creating a bad dynamic in your relationships. I liked the chunk at the very end about values and standards - I wished the whole book had more material like this because that section was awesome. I added those kernels to my "self-help" arsenal.
I'd say read it if you're trying to improve and learn about yourself and you have the time. Don't read it if you take everything to heart and can't filter out the bullshit, or if you can only fit in a book here and there. For a truly helpful book, read Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - and Keep - Love. That book is based on scientific studies and works to build your esteem rather than make you think you don't have a boyfriend/husband because there's something wrong with you.
July 9, 2013
This is a great book, but it's more of a broad "this is how you should live your life" philosophy book. So if you're expecting a detailed how-to-capture-a-man-step-by-step manual, you'll be disappointed.
A lot of what Hussey says is common sense, but some girls (like me) who are kind of clueless with men need to hear it. I like that the tone of this book is very hopeful and optimistic, and his advice is two-fold: not only is it about improving your dating life, but it's also about improving yourself as a human being.
I appreciate his advice because 1.) he's a man, so he knows what he's talking about, 2.) his advice fills in some gaps for me, 3.) weirdly, some of his advice is actually conclusions that I had already reached based on my own experience, yet he takes those conclusions a bit farther than I've been able to do by myself.
I learned a lot from this book. I deducted one star because I was hoping for a bit more in terms of how-to and instructions, but I'm not sure how Hussey could have pulled that off since every guy and girl and dating situation is different. Overall, this is a great, empowering read that I'd recommend to pretty much every single gal out there.
A lot of what Hussey says is common sense, but some girls (like me) who are kind of clueless with men need to hear it. I like that the tone of this book is very hopeful and optimistic, and his advice is two-fold: not only is it about improving your dating life, but it's also about improving yourself as a human being.
I appreciate his advice because 1.) he's a man, so he knows what he's talking about, 2.) his advice fills in some gaps for me, 3.) weirdly, some of his advice is actually conclusions that I had already reached based on my own experience, yet he takes those conclusions a bit farther than I've been able to do by myself.
I learned a lot from this book. I deducted one star because I was hoping for a bit more in terms of how-to and instructions, but I'm not sure how Hussey could have pulled that off since every guy and girl and dating situation is different. Overall, this is a great, empowering read that I'd recommend to pretty much every single gal out there.
April 26, 2019
I liked the whole thing about being social and chatting up everyone. After that, I personally just could not get over the fact that every single reference was geared toward the Caucasian population. Every time a woman was described, the visualization was that of a white woman. All of the men who were described, also that of white men. I know it may not matter to most and many may not understand, but, as a woman of color, it's nice to know that you see, hear and recognize women of color. It was distracting to continue listening to how men are attracted to women who's characteristics mean that they're white. If the audience you are speaking to does not include me, I am not inclined to continue in the audience.
Also, thought the Don Draper reference was a bit weird considering the extramarital affairs...
It has some helpful bits but overall, this book was not for me. Left me more frustrated and annoyed than anything.
Also, thought the Don Draper reference was a bit weird considering the extramarital affairs...
It has some helpful bits but overall, this book was not for me. Left me more frustrated and annoyed than anything.
June 5, 2019
I discovered the author through Facebook ads. I was curious, but not about to be duped into an expensive program by clickbait and psychological marketing techniques, so I checked this book out of the library.
The author gives some genuinely helpful tips about how to meet and talk to more people, making eye contact, and so forth. However, I later noticed that most of the quality content in this book was copied from Henry Cloud’s How to Get a Date Worth Keeping. Several of the chapter titles, main concepts and illustrations were taken directly from that book, written 10 years earlier by a psychologist, which makes more sense as to why he would know what he’s talking about. I don’t remember seeing any citations or acknowledgements.
The approach of the two authors could not be more different. Hussey writes for a secular audience going to hookups and parties. Cloud writes as a Christian for people frustrated with their dating patterns who hope to find meaningful long term relationships. Hussey gives formulas and techniques to control the situation to get what you want. He adds his own tips and tricks for how to flirt, which end up sounding like telling women how to be that overconfident player. Cloud advocates for dating as a process of learning and growing rather than being overly consumed by the end result. The point is to get to know oneself and others and give them a good experience on the way, including becoming more mindful of aspects of one’s inner life that need to be resolved to avoid continually making the same mistakes in dating.
Hussey’s book frustrated me because he assumed that the problem with women is just that they don’t chat up random strangers. He ignores the fact that women have often experienced that same behavior as sexual harassment, and whereas men have privilege and power, women who act like that are at risk of being disrespected and told “she was asking for it.” While Cloud still encouraged people to engage strangers in conversation, he encouraged people to be safe and wasn’t pushing pickup lines. He also helped address fears or barriers such as these in a way that brings self-understanding and compassion.
I will say that Hussey knows how to “get the BUY”. At the end of every other chapter, he includes a link to a video, which ends with a call to buy his coaching program. But the reader ends up feeling strung along and used rather than genuinely served, which I’m afraid might be how people would feel if they were on the receiving end of someone implementing his self-centered dating advice.
The author gives some genuinely helpful tips about how to meet and talk to more people, making eye contact, and so forth. However, I later noticed that most of the quality content in this book was copied from Henry Cloud’s How to Get a Date Worth Keeping. Several of the chapter titles, main concepts and illustrations were taken directly from that book, written 10 years earlier by a psychologist, which makes more sense as to why he would know what he’s talking about. I don’t remember seeing any citations or acknowledgements.
The approach of the two authors could not be more different. Hussey writes for a secular audience going to hookups and parties. Cloud writes as a Christian for people frustrated with their dating patterns who hope to find meaningful long term relationships. Hussey gives formulas and techniques to control the situation to get what you want. He adds his own tips and tricks for how to flirt, which end up sounding like telling women how to be that overconfident player. Cloud advocates for dating as a process of learning and growing rather than being overly consumed by the end result. The point is to get to know oneself and others and give them a good experience on the way, including becoming more mindful of aspects of one’s inner life that need to be resolved to avoid continually making the same mistakes in dating.
Hussey’s book frustrated me because he assumed that the problem with women is just that they don’t chat up random strangers. He ignores the fact that women have often experienced that same behavior as sexual harassment, and whereas men have privilege and power, women who act like that are at risk of being disrespected and told “she was asking for it.” While Cloud still encouraged people to engage strangers in conversation, he encouraged people to be safe and wasn’t pushing pickup lines. He also helped address fears or barriers such as these in a way that brings self-understanding and compassion.
I will say that Hussey knows how to “get the BUY”. At the end of every other chapter, he includes a link to a video, which ends with a call to buy his coaching program. But the reader ends up feeling strung along and used rather than genuinely served, which I’m afraid might be how people would feel if they were on the receiving end of someone implementing his self-centered dating advice.
April 29, 2021
A great book that functions as a simple, straightforward operating manual about life and relationship: it's cute, fun, and entertaining as Matthew Hussey gives us a glimpse into how a guy "generally" would think being in and out of love, when they are IN or OUT of action or missing in action and hints into the train of thoughts behind those unfathomable disappearance acts of men during and after connection. I enjoyed the bright side, hopeful and proactiveness of Matthew's advice about building a relationship, keeping it, and most importantly, improving your life by being your best version.
The book's intelligent approach is more practical, common sense geared and applying these tips to daily interactions with people you meet. Though dating and relationship topic books are not my cups of tea, I did appreciate the values and the author's original aspects. It is eye-opening for a person who is clueless about a love relationship. No, I DID NOT get the guy! BUT I got some BIG tips about the guy, and best of all, I get MYSELF.
The book's intelligent approach is more practical, common sense geared and applying these tips to daily interactions with people you meet. Though dating and relationship topic books are not my cups of tea, I did appreciate the values and the author's original aspects. It is eye-opening for a person who is clueless about a love relationship. No, I DID NOT get the guy! BUT I got some BIG tips about the guy, and best of all, I get MYSELF.
April 23, 2013
What if I told you there was a simple, concise, no-nonsense manual on how to find, attract and keep your ideal man? Sounds too good to be true? Well, such a book exists; it is written by the world’s leading relationship coach and love guru, Matthew Hussey.
From the very first word typed in the introduction, the Get the Guy book is launched from the very sobering platform of “love is hard.” A very clear and accurate portrait of love is etched across the canvas of the first page; just reality, a no-nonsense description of love that is devoid of happily ever afters, handsome princes and the one. The message of this book is distinctly outlined in proceeding paragraphs. The book isn’t just about ‘finding a guy’, it’s a manual that empowers women to live the life they were born to live; a life so abundant that out of its overflow it creates opportunities to connect with many individuals from all walks of life. The author takes the time to explain how he came from being a teenager who somehow ended up with whoever would have him and watched others get the girl they wanted; to a successful relationship coach. His knowledge comes from a mixture of personal experience and the years spent coaching men in their love lives. Hussey admits that he himself is far from perfect and does make mistakes usually as a direct result from not following his own advice; as well as invaluable advice this book also contains links to videos that take the concepts to a deeper level. Matthew’s self belief combined with his passion and zeal for life as well as his coaching products is highly contagious and is most likely, the key to his success and his growing popularity.
The Get the Guy philosophy divides dating into three stages: Find the Guy, Get the Guy and Keep the Guy. Find the Guy, advises contrary to hollywood rom com’s, fairy tales, Disney movies and other romantic notions that our love lives should not be left to chance or fate. According to the author we have two options; wait or create. You remember the tall, dark and handsome commuter that you locked eyes with on the central line last week; you waited and nothing happened. He got off at the next stop and you have not seen him on the tube since. The alternative option is to create, not too many people feel comfortable approaching a total stranger to create an engaging conversation; if you feel this way you are not alone! The key is simple, learn how to create conversations everywhere you go; Find the Guys leading principle is to talk to everyone who serves you, people around you waiting in line and to take the conversation further and to create daily rituals that involve communicating with more guys. In theory, we are exercising our social muscles and when we do come across someone of interest we are prepared to strike up a conversation. Get the Guy challenges women to raise their standards and to understand that they are a woman of high value and by cultivating certain traits is the initial step to attracting the love that we all deserve. This book divulges the psychology behind the male mind in a way that is positive and beneficial to both genders; with this understanding of the male mind along with a splash of playfulness and a touch of spontaneity accompanied with the right mind-set become the key ingredients to attracting love. Get the Guy aims to put women back in the seat of their lives in a way that leaves a man thinking and feeling like he has done something to earn her affections.
The second stage to the dating process takes us deeper in our understanding of long lasting attraction by revealing a simple formula and exposing a few commonly held attraction based beliefs as myths and highlights the many pitfalls of current dating rules including ‘playing hard to get’. According to Matthew Hussey, the key to creating a great date lies in the importance or depth of value that we place on date. You remember the cute guy that you met at your cousins party who asked you out to that dinner date; as you were preparing for the date you told yourself that he was ‘out of your league’ and stressed out about not saying the wrong thing. The date was a disaster, you spent the entire evening focusing on feeling nervous and saying everything right instead of discovering if there was any chemistry or finding a way to establish a connection. The author elegantly reminds his readers that the purpose of a date is for both parties to leave wanting more of each other instead of feeling like you have both endured an exam. Get the Guy is both informative as well as empowering; the author intelligently divulges information about the human psyche in order that both sexes understand each other and are building a relationship that fulfills both of their needs.
The third and final stage to the dating process is titled ‘Keep the Guy’; this section reveals the secrets to a long and lasting relationship as well as the importance of showing vulnerability in the process of establishing and maintaining a strong connection. Keep the Guy does not contain a 5 step plan to make him commit but contains a gentle reminder of the importance in always being that amazing woman he plucked up the courage to ask on the first date, because it’s that woman he wants and will commit to. The author reveals what the single life is like for the majority of guys as well as explaining why the concept of commitment can scare a guy and highlights that you can not change a guy but you can change his perception of relationships and commitment. The book takes its readers through the process of establishing whether a potential partner is Mr Right and also reveals how to move on from heart break. Through out the pages of the final chapters of Get the Guy, Matthew Hussey, encourages the readers to remain high value and to maintain their standards but his message is best summed up the final words on the last page.
‘Believe in your own value, and every good thing in life will follow’.
Get the Guy is not just a 5 step plan to land the guy of your dreams. This resource is a logical but nonetheless empowering treasure trove of information which appeals to women from all walks of life and encourages them to live a life that is worthy of their value, maintain high standards and accept nothing less than a love life that they deserve. This book is a necessary addition for every woman’s book shelf; whether you’re single, in a relationship or married for decades there is something in this book for everyone. Get the Guy will be released in US on April 9, and will be available in major bookstores and is also available to pre-order on amazon.
Reviewed by: Amelia H/orange owl media - http://wp.me/p2Rv3M-5Q
From the very first word typed in the introduction, the Get the Guy book is launched from the very sobering platform of “love is hard.” A very clear and accurate portrait of love is etched across the canvas of the first page; just reality, a no-nonsense description of love that is devoid of happily ever afters, handsome princes and the one. The message of this book is distinctly outlined in proceeding paragraphs. The book isn’t just about ‘finding a guy’, it’s a manual that empowers women to live the life they were born to live; a life so abundant that out of its overflow it creates opportunities to connect with many individuals from all walks of life. The author takes the time to explain how he came from being a teenager who somehow ended up with whoever would have him and watched others get the girl they wanted; to a successful relationship coach. His knowledge comes from a mixture of personal experience and the years spent coaching men in their love lives. Hussey admits that he himself is far from perfect and does make mistakes usually as a direct result from not following his own advice; as well as invaluable advice this book also contains links to videos that take the concepts to a deeper level. Matthew’s self belief combined with his passion and zeal for life as well as his coaching products is highly contagious and is most likely, the key to his success and his growing popularity.
The Get the Guy philosophy divides dating into three stages: Find the Guy, Get the Guy and Keep the Guy. Find the Guy, advises contrary to hollywood rom com’s, fairy tales, Disney movies and other romantic notions that our love lives should not be left to chance or fate. According to the author we have two options; wait or create. You remember the tall, dark and handsome commuter that you locked eyes with on the central line last week; you waited and nothing happened. He got off at the next stop and you have not seen him on the tube since. The alternative option is to create, not too many people feel comfortable approaching a total stranger to create an engaging conversation; if you feel this way you are not alone! The key is simple, learn how to create conversations everywhere you go; Find the Guys leading principle is to talk to everyone who serves you, people around you waiting in line and to take the conversation further and to create daily rituals that involve communicating with more guys. In theory, we are exercising our social muscles and when we do come across someone of interest we are prepared to strike up a conversation. Get the Guy challenges women to raise their standards and to understand that they are a woman of high value and by cultivating certain traits is the initial step to attracting the love that we all deserve. This book divulges the psychology behind the male mind in a way that is positive and beneficial to both genders; with this understanding of the male mind along with a splash of playfulness and a touch of spontaneity accompanied with the right mind-set become the key ingredients to attracting love. Get the Guy aims to put women back in the seat of their lives in a way that leaves a man thinking and feeling like he has done something to earn her affections.
The second stage to the dating process takes us deeper in our understanding of long lasting attraction by revealing a simple formula and exposing a few commonly held attraction based beliefs as myths and highlights the many pitfalls of current dating rules including ‘playing hard to get’. According to Matthew Hussey, the key to creating a great date lies in the importance or depth of value that we place on date. You remember the cute guy that you met at your cousins party who asked you out to that dinner date; as you were preparing for the date you told yourself that he was ‘out of your league’ and stressed out about not saying the wrong thing. The date was a disaster, you spent the entire evening focusing on feeling nervous and saying everything right instead of discovering if there was any chemistry or finding a way to establish a connection. The author elegantly reminds his readers that the purpose of a date is for both parties to leave wanting more of each other instead of feeling like you have both endured an exam. Get the Guy is both informative as well as empowering; the author intelligently divulges information about the human psyche in order that both sexes understand each other and are building a relationship that fulfills both of their needs.
The third and final stage to the dating process is titled ‘Keep the Guy’; this section reveals the secrets to a long and lasting relationship as well as the importance of showing vulnerability in the process of establishing and maintaining a strong connection. Keep the Guy does not contain a 5 step plan to make him commit but contains a gentle reminder of the importance in always being that amazing woman he plucked up the courage to ask on the first date, because it’s that woman he wants and will commit to. The author reveals what the single life is like for the majority of guys as well as explaining why the concept of commitment can scare a guy and highlights that you can not change a guy but you can change his perception of relationships and commitment. The book takes its readers through the process of establishing whether a potential partner is Mr Right and also reveals how to move on from heart break. Through out the pages of the final chapters of Get the Guy, Matthew Hussey, encourages the readers to remain high value and to maintain their standards but his message is best summed up the final words on the last page.
‘Believe in your own value, and every good thing in life will follow’.
Get the Guy is not just a 5 step plan to land the guy of your dreams. This resource is a logical but nonetheless empowering treasure trove of information which appeals to women from all walks of life and encourages them to live a life that is worthy of their value, maintain high standards and accept nothing less than a love life that they deserve. This book is a necessary addition for every woman’s book shelf; whether you’re single, in a relationship or married for decades there is something in this book for everyone. Get the Guy will be released in US on April 9, and will be available in major bookstores and is also available to pre-order on amazon.
Reviewed by: Amelia H/orange owl media - http://wp.me/p2Rv3M-5Q
June 8, 2013
When I started reading this book, I immediately was challenged by the thoughts being introduced. However the advice to be a woman of high value and not to settle was compelling. No woman in her right mind wants to settle for less and that is easier said than done.
Matthew goes over and beyond. Not only does he tell you want you need from his heart, he then explains the concept with his analogy about the train or other examples and quotes. Although you have to get out there and try... What I find heart-warming is you can feel him prodding you along, hoping the best for you and even there to say what might have gone wrong.
I love that he firmly places the ball in your court. This book is a keeper. This will make a believer out of you whether you heart has been broken before or you seem to be stuck in the friend zone. He covers it all with brilliance and those videos are an added bonus. Here's to you find, getting and keeping the guy! See you at the finish line.
I plan to invite Mr. Hussey to my wedding because it will be thanks to him.
Matthew goes over and beyond. Not only does he tell you want you need from his heart, he then explains the concept with his analogy about the train or other examples and quotes. Although you have to get out there and try... What I find heart-warming is you can feel him prodding you along, hoping the best for you and even there to say what might have gone wrong.
I love that he firmly places the ball in your court. This book is a keeper. This will make a believer out of you whether you heart has been broken before or you seem to be stuck in the friend zone. He covers it all with brilliance and those videos are an added bonus. Here's to you find, getting and keeping the guy! See you at the finish line.
I plan to invite Mr. Hussey to my wedding because it will be thanks to him.
July 8, 2014
It's a basic book telling you what you already know, but somehow have forgotten along the way. While the videos were cute (I could directly open them on my Kindle) what made them annoying was that Hussey kept saying, "Like this video. Now buy more man getting secrets!" It just had a scam feel to it, which I didn't like.
Basically this book is asking you to be more open, take more chances, and not let men walk all over you. You know this, I know this, but sometimes you need to hear it from someone else as some of the dating advice we hear today is stupid. So it's good to have that reality check and this book does fulfill that role, but again the video links to more promotional products is what takes away from the value of the book.
Sure go to a face to face event for fun, but don't feel obligated to buy the extra stuff. This book should do. Is it the best dating book of all time? I don't know, but the advice resonated with me. The pitch to buy extra stuff turned me off.
Basically this book is asking you to be more open, take more chances, and not let men walk all over you. You know this, I know this, but sometimes you need to hear it from someone else as some of the dating advice we hear today is stupid. So it's good to have that reality check and this book does fulfill that role, but again the video links to more promotional products is what takes away from the value of the book.
Sure go to a face to face event for fun, but don't feel obligated to buy the extra stuff. This book should do. Is it the best dating book of all time? I don't know, but the advice resonated with me. The pitch to buy extra stuff turned me off.
June 18, 2014
Well, I sometimes learn more form people I disagree with than from people who always have the same views. This book was okay, I liked the general self-development parts but when it comes to dating advice it's not my cup of tea. However, I enjoyed seeing things from his perspective, especially when it drifted into being a little autobiographical.
May 17, 2019
Simply a waste of time. It's not worth a sexist book. He is a scammer.
June 3, 2017
The book was better than I expected, but not by much. The methods presented are the ever annoying catch-22 plans.... don't be too intimidating, but be "high-value." Be sexy, but don't make him think you're a slut. Be straightforward, but in a flirty, non-threatening way!! Not rating it 1 star because the first part of "how to meet guys" is mostly solid advice... namely "don't live in a hole, the more people you meet the likelier you are to meet 'the one...' and that meeting and being friendly towards people is a great way to build happiness in general, regardless of who you end up meeting." The rest really irritated me. I'm not going to monitor or feel in charge of a man's emotions. If by not accepting a jacket i'm sending the wrong signal (apparently its that I don't value your contribution.... but in reality if I valued your effort, I would just say it and politely decline. Not take the jacket demurely, and be so thankful that I have a strong man to give me a jacket when I'm not cold).
March 12, 2022
A guide on some aspects of toxic masculinity or how to cater to the fragile male ego. Huge parts of this were utter drivel.
The two useful lessons? (Yes, only two)
1) Always chat up people. It’ll make it easier to meet new people or start a conversation with someone you’re actually interested in, because you’ll have had a lot of practice.
2) Do not make a man a priority unless he has demonstrated investing in you by making time, making you a priority, committing, or other ways that show he is invested. And even then, they expect you to make them a priority above even your career (as does the author). This is never worth it. Men walk away. Careers do not.
The two useful lessons? (Yes, only two)
1) Always chat up people. It’ll make it easier to meet new people or start a conversation with someone you’re actually interested in, because you’ll have had a lot of practice.
2) Do not make a man a priority unless he has demonstrated investing in you by making time, making you a priority, committing, or other ways that show he is invested. And even then, they expect you to make them a priority above even your career (as does the author). This is never worth it. Men walk away. Careers do not.
August 27, 2014
Funny one. Be ideal and your chances will improve significantly. Not really inspiring, huh?
May 17, 2013
18 May 2013
Admittedly, I am a cynic when it comes to matters of the heart and self-help books on relationships don't even make a blip on my radar of books to read. However, after watching Matthew Hussey on Ready for Love, his insight resonated deeply with me and my curiosity was piqued by Get the Guy: How to Find, Attract, and Keep Your Ideal Mate. I probably would have hesitated to pick up the book if it weren't for my best friend's high recommendations, and I'm sure glad she nudged me to read it.
Matthew Hussey is the kind of guy every girl needs in her corner. His positive energy and beliefs makes you feel like he's your own personal cheerleader. This isn't a book about how to manipulate a guy to get what you want. Rather, he's cheering you on to be the best person you can be to live a fulfilling life. All the arseholes will be weeded out because you are too valuable to waste your time on them. Once you recognize and believe in your value, you will find the right guy worthy of joining you on your life's adventures.
Coming fresh off a break-up, I oddly found the Keep the Guy section more pertinent to my life at present. I have zero desire to get any guy since I'm deep in the heartbreak, but Keep the Guy helped me learn my value. The How to Move on From Heartbreak had some empowering encouragements as well.
Some of my favorite quotes:
Matthew Hussey's writing is intelligent and approachable. He genuinely seems like he wants the very best in life for you. He just seems like a kind, honest-to-goodness nice guy. Whoever lands this guy will be one lucky lady. I hope that he writes a book for men on how to get the ladies because I'm intrigued with what his viewpoints will be.
Admittedly, I am a cynic when it comes to matters of the heart and self-help books on relationships don't even make a blip on my radar of books to read. However, after watching Matthew Hussey on Ready for Love, his insight resonated deeply with me and my curiosity was piqued by Get the Guy: How to Find, Attract, and Keep Your Ideal Mate. I probably would have hesitated to pick up the book if it weren't for my best friend's high recommendations, and I'm sure glad she nudged me to read it.
Matthew Hussey is the kind of guy every girl needs in her corner. His positive energy and beliefs makes you feel like he's your own personal cheerleader. This isn't a book about how to manipulate a guy to get what you want. Rather, he's cheering you on to be the best person you can be to live a fulfilling life. All the arseholes will be weeded out because you are too valuable to waste your time on them. Once you recognize and believe in your value, you will find the right guy worthy of joining you on your life's adventures.
Coming fresh off a break-up, I oddly found the Keep the Guy section more pertinent to my life at present. I have zero desire to get any guy since I'm deep in the heartbreak, but Keep the Guy helped me learn my value. The How to Move on From Heartbreak had some empowering encouragements as well.
Some of my favorite quotes:
Matthew Hussey's writing is intelligent and approachable. He genuinely seems like he wants the very best in life for you. He just seems like a kind, honest-to-goodness nice guy. Whoever lands this guy will be one lucky lady. I hope that he writes a book for men on how to get the ladies because I'm intrigued with what his viewpoints will be.
April 29, 2018
If you think this is a book for only women, you must be wrong.
Whether you want to seek a man or a woman of your life, lessons taught by Matthew are true for almost every one who longs to find the right partner, and build a life of fulfillment with your partner.
I won't say much about the content. But the book left me with whole new different points of views on how relationship works, and how we should be prepared, creating options for our relationship life, not just waiting for a lovestruck, first-sight, Hollywood-made-imaginative relationships, because it won't happen that way and even if it happens, you won't be ready to enter the commitments and be ready to keep the longlasting relationship.
Matthew throws a lot of lights on how an actual relationship would be, but primarily as a part of your fulfilling and enriching life, and as long as you demonstrate your values and keep living true to them, you could build a love life where your partner is invited to be part of your amazing life as it would be, not like you have to change yourself for others.
Because, if you are not happy on your own terms, whoever wants to be a part of your life ?
Whether you want to seek a man or a woman of your life, lessons taught by Matthew are true for almost every one who longs to find the right partner, and build a life of fulfillment with your partner.
I won't say much about the content. But the book left me with whole new different points of views on how relationship works, and how we should be prepared, creating options for our relationship life, not just waiting for a lovestruck, first-sight, Hollywood-made-imaginative relationships, because it won't happen that way and even if it happens, you won't be ready to enter the commitments and be ready to keep the longlasting relationship.
Matthew throws a lot of lights on how an actual relationship would be, but primarily as a part of your fulfilling and enriching life, and as long as you demonstrate your values and keep living true to them, you could build a love life where your partner is invited to be part of your amazing life as it would be, not like you have to change yourself for others.
Because, if you are not happy on your own terms, whoever wants to be a part of your life ?
December 16, 2017
• style 4/5
• plot ---
• impact 4/5
• derived information 3/5
summary: 3,5/5
The best on that topic, I've ever read.
Edit: I'm coming back and giving this work full 5 stars! Those strategies I now use daily and with amazing results. Thank you Matthew!
• plot ---
• impact 4/5
• derived information 3/5
summary: 3,5/5
The best on that topic, I've ever read.
Edit: I'm coming back and giving this work full 5 stars! Those strategies I now use daily and with amazing results. Thank you Matthew!
May 17, 2019
Is vary bad
August 2, 2021
A great read - let’s see if it works 😉
December 31, 2020
Practical advice and the whole book in "to this like that" - style.
Important question to ask, when you find someone:
*Do your core values match? And if they do, are your standards in these values the same?
Reminder: Don't invest in his potential instead of person in front of you!
Important question to ask, when you find someone:
*Do your core values match? And if they do, are your standards in these values the same?
Reminder: Don't invest in his potential instead of person in front of you!
May 10, 2021
"One day I was looking around on the bookshelf and came across How to win friends and influence people. I remember thinking how tragic my life would have to be that I would need to win friends. But I picked it up anyway and after 10 pages I was hooked" Matthew Hussey
I bet a lot of you might think the same thing seeing the title of this book. 17 year-old me would be judging me right now. My story with this book was quite different. I picked it up to hate on it because I was so done with all these books making love look like a game that, if played according to the rules, is won. I started reading this expecting a lot of disrespect towards women but surprisingly enough, there was none. Don't let the synopsis or the cover fool you, this isn't really a bunch of methods you should apply. It's rather a book about loving yourself, loving your body, never giving up on your principles, having a passionate life regardless of your social status, taking action in your life to make it happen for you and most importantly never settling for less than your worth. I was always on the defensive with this book, trying so hard to find something offensive but Matthew knew what he was doing. He knew that's a delicate subject he's discussing and he always knew what to say in the best way possible. I wish I could describe how optimistic, hopeful and empowering this was. I wish I could tell you how much of a better person it made me. After all these years of self-hate, I dare say that Matthew made me fall in love with myself and I will forever be grateful for that. After finishing this book, I said "Wow, it's insane how misleading the cover is" but then thinking about it, I came to the realization that this is a book to FEEL not to describe in few sentences so I found it necessary to come here and share with you Matthew's genius. I hope this book heals you the way it healed me.
I bet a lot of you might think the same thing seeing the title of this book. 17 year-old me would be judging me right now. My story with this book was quite different. I picked it up to hate on it because I was so done with all these books making love look like a game that, if played according to the rules, is won. I started reading this expecting a lot of disrespect towards women but surprisingly enough, there was none. Don't let the synopsis or the cover fool you, this isn't really a bunch of methods you should apply. It's rather a book about loving yourself, loving your body, never giving up on your principles, having a passionate life regardless of your social status, taking action in your life to make it happen for you and most importantly never settling for less than your worth. I was always on the defensive with this book, trying so hard to find something offensive but Matthew knew what he was doing. He knew that's a delicate subject he's discussing and he always knew what to say in the best way possible. I wish I could describe how optimistic, hopeful and empowering this was. I wish I could tell you how much of a better person it made me. After all these years of self-hate, I dare say that Matthew made me fall in love with myself and I will forever be grateful for that. After finishing this book, I said "Wow, it's insane how misleading the cover is" but then thinking about it, I came to the realization that this is a book to FEEL not to describe in few sentences so I found it necessary to come here and share with you Matthew's genius. I hope this book heals you the way it healed me.
August 26, 2020
I am not a target audience of the book since I am not seeking any advice. I read it out of professional curiosity on what men write in those kind of books.
Its a weird book. Its message is be a SUPER woman and then you can land a guy. Real life shows that ordinary women also land guys and live their decent happy lifes (or should i say man land girls?). Because not every guy is a SUPER guy either.
As already written in the comments bellow it's a bit sexist cause if the same level of decency and talents and amazigness would be demanded from guys the book would be called unrealistic.
Its also hold some cognitive bias. When Matthew writes that men think about sex all the time and want it all the time with some exeptions I wonder if he read research on the topic which stated that actually men think of sex not much more often than women. So its Matthew's subjective experience filtered through reality of his mind. Research can show a different picture.
What I really liked about the book is that it is not agist and actually states clearly that life can be great and youthfull at any given age. Its not the age, its youthfulness in your age. Was a good placebo for my age fears.
Its a weird book. Its message is be a SUPER woman and then you can land a guy. Real life shows that ordinary women also land guys and live their decent happy lifes (or should i say man land girls?). Because not every guy is a SUPER guy either.
As already written in the comments bellow it's a bit sexist cause if the same level of decency and talents and amazigness would be demanded from guys the book would be called unrealistic.
Its also hold some cognitive bias. When Matthew writes that men think about sex all the time and want it all the time with some exeptions I wonder if he read research on the topic which stated that actually men think of sex not much more often than women. So its Matthew's subjective experience filtered through reality of his mind. Research can show a different picture.
What I really liked about the book is that it is not agist and actually states clearly that life can be great and youthfull at any given age. Its not the age, its youthfulness in your age. Was a good placebo for my age fears.
August 31, 2020
I picked up this book because I was interested in Matthew Hussey, his brand and what he had to say. I saw him on a Netflix reality show, and I wanted to know more.
The beginning part of this book was interesting, I was intrigued and I enjoyed it. I even would watch the parts where it says to go "online" to learn more. Towards the middle of the book I had to start skimming it. He had nothing to really say. It was at this time when I started googling him too and found out that he is very much a fake. He has no education whatsoever and has even taken things from other educated people into his book. It is all about the money for him. He will charge over $5000 for a week to spend some time with him to make you a better person.
I had to skim the last 50 + pages, I was curious but not that curious to waste my time
The beginning part of this book was interesting, I was intrigued and I enjoyed it. I even would watch the parts where it says to go "online" to learn more. Towards the middle of the book I had to start skimming it. He had nothing to really say. It was at this time when I started googling him too and found out that he is very much a fake. He has no education whatsoever and has even taken things from other educated people into his book. It is all about the money for him. He will charge over $5000 for a week to spend some time with him to make you a better person.
I had to skim the last 50 + pages, I was curious but not that curious to waste my time
May 6, 2013
Very interesting.
Matthew Hussey really has a compassionate voice. The writing in this book felt like he was cheering you on and that he truly desired you to be the best you can possibly be. He instantly felt like someone you could trust and be safe with- and I don't know how to describe the specifics in his writing that made me feel this way.
I found many things in this book interesting and I would read it again.
Matthew Hussey really has a compassionate voice. The writing in this book felt like he was cheering you on and that he truly desired you to be the best you can possibly be. He instantly felt like someone you could trust and be safe with- and I don't know how to describe the specifics in his writing that made me feel this way.
I found many things in this book interesting and I would read it again.
February 3, 2017
Read this book as a result of a request for advice from a single female client - and being out of my depth, thought I would get some different views. I consider Matthew Hussey has provided a good insight into the male mind together with some great suggestions for females wanting to "Get the Guy". Of course, everyone will need to apply their own goals, values and principles in reading this book - then work out what is best for them.
October 11, 2018
I picked up this book out of curiosity as I saw it online in a feed on my Facebook page. I do not agree with all that this author has said but some things did ring true. It kind of reminds me of that book an movie "He's just not into you" which was popular a few years ago. It is interesting concept on how differently the two sexes think and feel regarding certain matters. It is definitely is a good dinner conversation starter that's for sure.
July 1, 2021
The book is going on and on about how you can’t be insecure to “get the guy”. And then it shows you how you are not enough, and you have to turn your life upside down to be pleasant, but don’t be a pleaser, change, but be yourself… I’ve purchased the book because I’ve seen a few cool videos on YouTube, but I got really bored half way, and really pissed off at its end. There might be some useful tips in it, so I won’t say that I don’t recommend it, but honestly? I don’t.
July 2, 2013
Some really painful misspellings, but some solid ground advice. I didn't care for the advice on when to have sex with a guy, but other than that and a few really awful edit misses, I found it to be a pretty informative read. PS - I HATE self-help books and especially lame relationship books. I still felt like this one was not a waste of my time.
Read
March 30, 2020Read for a quarantine challenge. Oh my XD
Displaying 1 - 30 of 429 reviews