The Scheme for Full Employment

by Magnus Mills

The Scheme was designed to provide an honest wage for an honest day's labour. Men driving identical, rust-resistant Univans deliver Univan parts to strategically spaced warehouses. Simple, self-perpetuating and efficient, it seems destined to last forever. But when some drivers begin leaving early and developing delivery sidelines, the workforce is divided into two camps: Flat-Dayers and Early Swervers.

Genres: Fiction, Humor, Novels, Ebooks, Literature, Comedy, Modern

225 pages, Kindle Edition

First published December 6, 2002

Reviews

[Mark Bailey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Somebody at work (ironically) keeps giving me Magnus Mill's books. Every time I finish them he'll hand me another. Never heard of him a month ago, but The Scheme for Full Employment is now the third one I've read and it's another absolute masterpiece.

It's difficult to describe, nothing much really happens, often about the most mundane elements of life, in this case a company in the UK that delivers parts to different sites.

It's an incredibly relatable account of workplace politics, divisions, cliques, class, and power. If you've ever worked, you'll relate to this without doubt. Definitely worth a read.

[Erik · Rating 3 out of 5]

Around the time I read this book I was working as a truck driver. Well, I wasn't quite "working" as my job simply entailed a few quick deliveries on any given day. This left me with nothing to do but sleep in my truck once my deliveries were done. I probably worked two hours out of an eight hour work day, everyday.

During this period I also visited an old high school friend and told him what I was doing for work. A week later he mailed me a copy of Magnus Mills' "The Scheme for Full Employment." He said, "This book is about a truck driver who drives around all day doing nothing. I think you'll like it." He was right.

[Alison Lang · Rating 5 out of 5]

I remember reading "The Restraint of Beasts" when it first came out, loving it and looking for more by Magnus Mills but not not finding anything, and then forgetting about him completely. Shame on me! I was missing out on "The Scheme for Full Employment", which I can only describe as mildly rib-tickling; it's hugely funny, but never in a way that actually makes you laugh out loud. The complexities of "The Scheme" -- a make-work project in which Univan drivers carry loads of Univan parts to Univan depots in a never-ending round of pointless fuel consumption -- are described in perfectly paced detail and without any irony on the part of the happily employed narrator. It's a bubble that has to burst eventually, and when a minor industrial dispute escalates to a full-scale strike, it's the fact that the lack of Univan activity has zero impact on the national economy that finally unmasks the futility of the whole enterprise. A brilliant but gently tongue-in-cheek critique of command economies. And now that I've rediscovered him, I've the rest of Mr Mill's works to look forward to.

[Katy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Please note: I read this some years back so don't remember it clearly.

Synopsis: The whole idea is simple yet so perfect: men drive to and from strategically placed warehouses in Univans—identical and serviceable vehicles—transporting replacement parts for...Univans. Gloriously self-perpetuating, the Scheme was designed to give an honest day’s wage for an honest day’s labor. That it produces nothing does not obtain. Our hero in Magnus Mills’ mesmerizing new work is a five-year veteran of the Scheme: he knows the best routes, the easiest managers, the quickest ways in and out. Inevitably, trouble begins to brew. A woman arrives on the scene. Some workers develop delivery sidelines. And most disturbing of all, not all participants are in agreement. There are “Flat-Dayers,” who believe the Scheme’s eight-hour day is sacrosanct and inviolable, and there are “Swervers,” who fancy being let off a little early now and again. Disagreement turns to argument, argument to debate, debate to outright schism. Soon the Flat-Dayers and Swervers have pushed the Scheme to the very brink of disaster...and readers to the edge of their chairs in delight.

My Thoughts: This is another book, like The Minotaur Takes a Cigarette Break, that I bought randomly using a gift certificate, and was glad I had done so. Many people complain that this book is "pointless" and "boring," but anyone who has been underemployed will, I think, "get it". This is satire, of course, so your mileage may vary, but I quite enjoyed it.

[Andy Weston · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have read many of Magnus Mills’s books and very much enjoyed this as with all of the others. I suspect though it will divide those who read it having stumbled upon him. It is more in the vein of The Maintenance Of Headway than The Restraint Of Beasts . Beasts is much darker with that black humour that Mills is renowned for. Headway is much drier humour, and about centred around a working class workplace. Similarly here, and almost it seems like an allegory for the 1970s strikes. Though the van drivers working for the Scheme have few grievances at first, it isn’t long before some seemingly petty quibbles rear their heads, and two rival unions are formed.

I’m sure it won’t please everyone, but I found it compelling and smiled wryly on many occasions.

[Darren · Rating 4 out of 5]

I so love Magnus Mills! The deceptively simple style (I suspect it is actually quite difficult to write like that) is just such a joy to read - the "space" in the narrative and the unadorned tone make it a relief, a quiet oasis amidst the hurly-burly of so much of my other reading matter.
I can't spoil the plot by mentioning it because, as usual, there isn't much of one, which is part of the point. I could go on at great length about all the (many) things I see/get out of his writing, but the people who don't "get" Magnus Mills would just take it as a case of Emperor's New Clothes, and the people who do get him would just nod and dip their biscuit into their tea.

[Gumble's Yard - Golden Reviewer · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book returns to Mills’s signature theme – the world of working class employment; in this case it also feels like an allegory for the 1970s, the world of unions and arcane employment disputes and procedures as well as the rise of Thatcherism – the narrator and others are shocked by the appearance of a female inspector who dares to question the very foundations of the scheme and at one point associates it with “failed social experiments like free school milk”.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVED this book - really funny, particularly from my perspective as an employer. And, as always, Mills can be counted on to be off-the-wall.

[Jason McCracken · Rating 4 out of 5]

Flat-Dayers FTW!

[Jonathan Gorner · Rating 3 out of 5]

A gently amusing satire of modern employment that cuts closer to the bone the more mind-numbing work you have had to survive.

[Reem · Rating 2 out of 5]

Finished. It was not a terrible book, although I found the topic to be quite boring. I think the point of this novel was mainly to get a message across to the reader. Did I find this novel enjoyable? No, I did not. Still, I can say that I read a book on contemporary British fiction now. Did I learn anything from it? Yes, absolutely. I agree it is important to immerse yourself in all aspects of the world of literature. Even if you have to read a book you don't want to sometimes. So, a bit about the author and his style, as I had written in my report for class:

I like the fact that he threw in some humor every now and again, even though it sometimes seemed a bit dry. His language was simple, and it seemed like I was reading a novel tailored towards a younger audience, but he did use a few fancy words throughout the book. He has a repetitive pattern in his writing, and he favored the use of a lot of dialogue in his book. He did not pay attention to providing much description for anything, particularly for the characters in the novel, leaving most things to be imagined by the reader. What descriptions he did give were very brief. Because of this, I felt the characters were not fully developed and lacked the qualities that would make them unique. Therefore, it would be difficult for readers to relate to them. I believe building in-depth characters is one of the most important components that make a story enjoyable to readers as well as successful. I appreciated the author’s extensive knowledge on what he was writing about and that he used some of his life experiences as inspiration for his work.

As a conclusion to my review, I would like to point out that if you are a UniVan enthusiast and a fan of the routine day to day activities of working class citizens, then this is the right book for you. If not, you won't like it much.

[Ruth Govaerts · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ik vond dit een heel leuk boek! Lekker absurd, met veel humor, just how I like it.
Het gaat over een univan chauffeur die eigenlijk heelder dagen niets anders doet dan onderdelen van univans vervoeren naar andere werkplaatsen zodat de univan busjes die zich in die magazijnen bevinden op hun beurt kunnen worden ingezet om weer univan onderdelen naar andere werkplaatsen te brengen. Het plan van voor volledige werkgelegenheid is eigenlijk berust op 'niets doen' maar toch geld verdienen. Hoewel het boek helemaal niet realistisch is vond ik het toch erg herkenbaar, zeker nu ik al enkele jaren als jobstudent heb gewerkt. Vooral de conflicten tussen de vroege uitzwaaiers/vroege uitklokkers en de werknemers die wel de volle 8 uur wilden werken was echt wel typerend.

[Deborah Wickham · Rating 5 out of 5]

His most subtle book, but as is usual for Mills the full ridiculousness of a seemingly mundane and normal set of circumstances is gradually revealed to the reader.
I don't know how he does it, absolute genius to create stories so gripping and funny when the subject matter should be incredibly boring!

[Emma · Rating 4 out of 5]

quite quite amazing and horrific - a humorous book explaining how to keep lots of people employed doing nothing but move stuff from place to place that has no use at all....

[Pernille · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is possibly one of the most frustrating books I've ever read. And I loved it.

[Heppy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Magnus Mills’ seems to be really good at writing books that are boring, but hard to put down.

[Ahsan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mills never disappoint.

[Christian Schwoerke · Rating 4 out of 5]

Over the past three weeks, in between some larger novels, I’ve read three Magnus Mills novels: The Scheme for Full Employment, The Field of the Cloth of Gold, and The Forensic Records Society. While I’ve read several other Mills novels, Explorers of the New Century remains my favorite, largely because he employs the deadpan humor and irony in a pointedly specific fashion—the targets are clear and the successful bulls’ eyes measurable—and it becomes a first-rate satire about English zeal, hypocrisy, racism, guilt, and the petty competitions/irritations that undermine groups.

The Scheme for Full Employment presents an alternate reality very like our own, where we slowly come to understand what scheme it is that the English have lost which is being used elsewhere in the world. For several decades there has been a fleet of vans going about specific routes making deliveries and collections, and the sole purpose of these gyrations is to move parts around for the maintenance of the vans and the van depots, in the process affording the workers gainful 8-hour-per-day employment. Mills’ narrator asserts that other countries continue to successfully employ this scheme while the English have bollixed things for a variety of reasons, but mainly because a strike meant to resolve the workers’ own dissension about occasional short (ie, not full) days brings to the attention of others the scheme’s inertial non-productivity. The narrator off-handedly touches on several other worms in the apple, which suggest that other inherent vices might have eventually produced the same result, ie, brought everything to a halt.

The novel seems to have a satiric target, but it’s so general and vague that one is not sure what real-world scheme properly approximates the one in the novel. In some respect, we sense Mills is suggesting that all of our activity is something of the sort, unproductive routines whose only purpose is to ensure we continue to do the same tomorrow. There is much else in the novel that makes finding specific real-world correlatives irrelevant: the narrator’s diffident manner is a common theme in all of his novels, and it allows Mills to present events and transactions with others in a stoic, get-on-with-it manner, even when things appear to be going pear-shaped. The entire subplot about the narrator’s mate’s sideline of selling cakes that his girlfriend bakes is one example of how the narrator handles so matter-of-factly the large and small alterations in his let’s-get-on-with-it, quotidian routine.

Similarly, the narratives in The Field of Cloth of Gold and The Forensic Records Society employ the same polite, diffident narrative persona. In the Field of Cloth, we are in some unspecified pre-Industrial Age setting on a large grass plain defined by the wending of a river, and the narrator tells of coming upon the plain, setting camp, and then of the subsequent arrival of others to the plain and how alliances, rivalries, schisms, and even purging persecutions ensue. It has the appearance of fable, but there are shaggy-dog aspects (such as the fate of the copper bathtub) that detract from the generality of fable, but lend the story a narrative primitivism and naïvete.

It’s all an inch-by-inch incremental growth of tension and dissension—seemingly harmless, even comical—and then finally the all-too-real-and-disturbing awareness that he, the narrator, has somehow got himself complicit in the violence that will ensue. The aura of fable suggests real-world correlatives to events in the novel, but there ends up being only a general target—human nature—which bull’s eye is the entire target.

In The Forensic Records Society, Mills’ target could be specialist groups (like any group of detectorists, stamp collectors, fantasy sport enthusiasts, et al.) or it may be suggesting something about larger institutions like religions and the schisms that occur within them. The particulars, however, are what make the story, and the narrator again ignorantly and naively narrates his tale, never fully apprehending what is going on around him, nor ever drawing any sort of conclusion about what’s transpired. As with The Field of Cloth of Gold, there is a woman who takes a dislike to the narrator, and there are ramifications to her presence and activities that produce disquiet and dissension at a sub rosa level. What begins as the veneration of listening to records ends for one principal character as the fetishizing of a single record, which he will never play. There are multiple threads in the story, but the largest deals with the on-going splintering of the principal group into near replicas of itself. The novel ends with events that transpire and cannot be commented on or judged, much in the manner of the eponymous records society’s founding principles.

There’s a coziness to the voice Mills’ employs in telling his tales, which quietly and decorously broach large and sometimes disturbing themes via banal conversation and humdrum activity. All of Mills’ narrative personae unremarkably skew things so that the ordinary somehow morph into the surreal. Let’s call it Kafka for the English navvy.

[Debby · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bonkers but I a really good way, and made me chuckle throughout.

[Jaylen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Funny but not the same.

The Scheme For Full Employment follows an unnamed narrator and his job as a UniVan driver.

I liked this book! To some extent. The narrator was funny and offered a good understanding of the Scheme and the workers within it. Mills' writing is very strong, so much so that one character can carry the whole narrative simply through recounting what has occurred or is happening is a skill.

I liked the structure. I liked the idea of the Scheme coming to an end intitally, but felt the story was somewhat disappointing when it actually did - much like the actual workers I guess. This could have been Mills' intention?

The actual Scheme was very funny as working on The Scheme seemed to perpetuate working on it. Mills created a cycle of work in which the work's value came from doing the work. The men literally drove vans containing other parts of other vans and I found this extremely funny. Again what makes Mills' writing so great to me is the monotony of the tasks and how truly redundant they can be, both for having a fulfilling life and for actually doing work. The Scheme For Full Employment is no different and I enjoyed it.

The factions of the flat-dayers and the swervers were hilarious! I loved how serious each group presented and ascribed to their 'ideology' - the time cards in the breast-pocket, the 'g' and figure-eight symbols as their identities - it was all very good! The strike was truly funny and I lost it when the dinner-ladies went on strike. All in all it was the storm before the chaos and the decline.

As always, Mills has written a good book which was funny to its core and entertaining though it comes at the expense of the workers. With all his books, I feel a sadness for the characters but that sadness is what ultimately makes his books so funny. Mills is a true craftsman and carefully crafts a book aided by reader engagement.

Would recommend, but would suggest that you read other Magnus Mills books first.

3 Stars

[Inna · Rating 4 out of 5]

"- Схема неэффективна, расточительна и дорого стоит, а нужна ей хорошенькая перетряска! Нужно, чтобы эти фургоны сами зарабатывали на свое техобслуживание, а не ездили кругами с грузом никому не нужных запчастей. Депо следует пустить в настоящее коммерческое использование, а персоналу платить по результатам. Иначе все это предприятие целиком пойдет по тому же пути, куда ушли остальные провалившиеся социальные эксперименты вроде общественного транспорта, школьных обедов и муниципальных оркестров!
Закончив говорить, Джойс посмотрела на меня с вызовом, как будто предлагала себя опровергнуть.
— А разве в школах больше не кормят обедами? – спросил я.
Она медленно покачала головой:
— Если бы все было по-моему – не кормили бы".

"Тут следует отметить, что, хотя забастовка приняла национальный характер, на экономическую жизнь страны она не повлияла никак или же повлияла очень незначительно. Не возникло никакого дефицита, ничего не нарушилось, наоборот – большинство автомобилистов радовались, что дороги больше не забиты процессиями медлительных «УниФуров». Целью кампании было всего лишь привлечь внимание к возникшей внутри Схемы проблеме, однако предложение энтузиастов грозило подвергнуть ее всяческим нежелательным проверкам. В конце концов, если кто-то готов водить «УниФуры» бесплатно, к чему платить жалованье тем, кто к этому не готов?"

[Delphine · Rating 2 out of 5]

Satire about a completely useless company, 'the Scheme', consisting of UniVans travelling to and from 7 depots on a circuit, carrying nothing but... spare parts of the UniVans. The drivers and other employees are swallowed up by routine and petty concerns, keeping up appearances.

But then rebellion stirs from within: there's a rift between 'early swervers' (who leave 'work' earlier) and 'flat-dayers' (committed to their clocking time). Attitudes are quickly hardening, there's even a schism within the schism itself. After three weeks of strike action, things return to normal, but it's too late: due to a lack of public support, the company finally closes down.

Not a great literary feat, just an easy snack along the way.

[TIM HERRING · Rating 3 out of 5]

An easy and enjoyable read, must have been given how quickly I read it. He has a very simple easy writing style. In some ways the book could just be a long short story. It is described on the cover as a cross between the office and Brave New World but I don't think it is anywhere near as serious and far sighted as BNW. However, the book does look at the world of work and how Keynesian full employment scheme might work. The people in the scheme drive vans from depot to depot just to deliver parts for the vans they are driving and which therefore need maintenance. The conclusion, the scheme fails, is well constructed and raises some good points about human nature and attitudes to work

[Liam · Rating 3 out of 5]

Having once worked a porters job where the main perk of the job was that I had very little to do all day I could relate to many aspects of this book... The fact that I had lost this glorious set up made my associations with The Scheme and the characters that developed it a rather melancholy one.

Yet still Mills' books are always perfect when you need something light after having just finished something long and heavy and this delivers all the aloof dry humor of his previous works. Despite my own personal issues with the book its an enjoyable and present read which I'm sure many of you will be able relate or even morn about that cuchy job that you took for total granted.

[Nathan · Rating 5 out of 5]

At this point, Mills was 4 proper novels in and was STILL churning out great material. He somehow manages to elevate the mundane to high drama page-turning status in this parable-esque satire of the working class. I found the standstill disputing quite analogous to the current bi-partisan nonsense going on in US which gave it even more resonance. Lots of chuckles, lots of awe at the dialogue, the lived in characters, the wit. Mills is a hero. Already ordered the next two.

[Tom Sackey-Ambler · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bit of a weird little book... sometimes in a good way, sometimes in a not-so-good way.

Importantly, however, it DID get me thinking which, I suppose, is part of the point.

This might be what people who sign up to become gig-economy worker think/hope life is going to be like before they descend into a capitalist-consumerist circle of hell...

Oh, and I'd definitely be an early-swerver if I was on The Scheme!

[Julian · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an enjoyable read. Perhaps a book for Trump to read as he would see it as a viable way to make his figures look better! It is really the case of the emperor’s new clothes which industrial action shows to the public. The book did come to rather an abrupt end which is why it only had 4 stars.

[Ellen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Clever but a bit self-satisfied and obvious. If you've worked in the civil service in the 1980s there's probably a lot about this book that you recognise. I wanted a bigger, cleverer twist, but the story as it is passed the time happily.

[Ásta Ha. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ekki nærri því eins góð og bækurnar Blikkkóngarnir, Taumhald á skepnum og All Quiet on the Orient Express. Hún ber merki höfundar síns. Einföld, skemmtilegar persónur en hún nær því miður ekki aldrei sama flugi og hinar.

[Gina Whitlock · Rating 3 out of 5]

Silly book about England making work available to everyone: employees driving to distribution centers all day carrying spare parts and everyday is the same. No one needs the parts, they are just transferred from one center to another.